So we've been studying cultivating covenant community and we've been looking at the one another commands and tonight we're going to look at comfort one another and be talking about how to comfort one another in times of suffering, affliction or grief. This is an important one in terms of covenant community life and our life together in the body of Christ. Let's pray and then we'll jump right into this. Let's pray together. Father in heaven, we thank you for the time that you've given us to be together as your people, to sing your praise and to... read and study your word and the application it has for our life together in the body of Christ. We ask that your spirit would show us ways where we can grow in caring better for one another. We ask that you would forgive us for our sins in this regard, cleanse us from all unrighteousness, and help us to walk with you, but also walk with you in the context of this community to love our brothers and sisters and to care for them, especially in times of grief. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. So we're going to start by turning to 2 Corinthians chapter 1, and just reading a couple of verses there, 2 Corinthians 1, 3 through 7, where essentially we see how God goes about making us comforters. God wants to make comforters of us so that he extends his comfort through us to one another in the body of Christ. So let's see how that works out in 2 Corinthians 1, 3 through 7. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction. with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation. And if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. So just looking at that little part from Paul's second letter to the Corinthians, we can see obviously there that God deeply cares about our grief. He is called the God of all comfort and the Father of all mercies. So every mercy that we need in the midst of affliction comes from God. He doesn't just have one kind of consolation to give to us, but He's the Father of all mercies and He's the God of all comfort. And so He's ready to sustain us in the midst of our grief. You know, in the Psalms, it talks about how God collects all of our tears in his bottle. And then, of course, Jesus said that God numbers all of the hairs on our head. And so God cares deeply about grief and about affliction and the suffering that we go through, whatever form it takes. And he has a comfort for every affliction. because that's who he is as God. The other thing we can see here is that God comforts us in the midst of these afflictions or in the midst of these trials that we go through, not just so that he sustains us in the midst of our trial, but he wants to use us as instruments of comfort to others. And so the comfort that we receive when we're going through times of trial or tribulation is not just to be selfishly hoarded to ourselves, but rather it's to be extended to others. The same comfort that he gives us, he wants us to turn around and show that comfort to our brothers and sisters who are going through similar situations. So basically, you see this important application here When we're suffering, we should always recognize that God is at work. He is working in us. He's working to provide comfort, but He's also preparing us, He's equipping us to be comforters to others, because He wants to use the comfort that He gives us in the midst of our trial through us to others. He wants to funnel His comfort into our lives and then through our lives to those other members of the body. So, a good application question you should ask yourself when you suffer is, in what ways have I suffered, and how does God want to use me to comfort others who have suffered in similar ways? So just think about that in terms of the way that you comfort others. Look at your own life and think, are there any unique ways that I've suffered? Maybe lost a child. Maybe I have gone through some kind of physical affliction in my body. Or maybe I've had to care for someone who was going through a physical affliction. or maybe I was a victim of some kind of injustice, right? Whatever manifestation that suffering took in your life, remember that's also, with that suffering, there's a vocation, there's a calling of God for you to steward that suffering and also minister comfort to others. The other thing that Paul says here, which we often forget about, is that in our union with Christ, we're sharing both in the sufferings of Christ and in the comfort of Christ, right? Death and resurrection. And that's not just individual in the sense that when we're in union with Christ, we're individually going to share in sufferings and tribulations and individually going to share in glory. But notice the communal way that Paul talks about this here. He says in verse six, he says, if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation. And if we are comforted, it's for your comfort. And you see this kind of interplay between the different members of the community. Some might be suffering and other people are experiencing comfort because of their suffering. And some people are being comforted so that others experience comfort as well. And so It's sharing together, not just individually in our union with Christ and suffering and a resurrection, but we're in a body where together we're going through that. And so when we've been looking at these one another commands, we've said that they're all tied and tethered to each other. And one of the ones we looked at last time was live in harmony with one another. And how do we do that? We weep with those who weep. And so the comforting one another is tied into that through our union with Christ, through our union with each other, we're supposed to be receiving comfort, but also extending comfort. So God wants to make you and me comforters. He wants to make you and me those who are qualified to help people who are hurting and who are suffering. And the way that he has to do that is he has to use the sandpaper in our lives, right? The coarse grains of grace to sanctify us, to rub off those rough aspects of our character so that we can be more sensitive and caring to others who are going through the same kind of thing. Now Christian comfort, moving on from 2 Corinthians now, Christian comfort we see is a deeply theological thing. If you turn over now to 1 Thessalonians chapter 4, we can see the theological context of comfort in 1 Thessalonians 4. Paul is trying to comfort the Thessalonians. because they have a misunderstanding. They thought that Christians who had died had missed out on the second coming and they had missed out on the resurrection that takes place at the second coming. They died and they missed it. And so they were grieving the loss of even believers who had died as if they didn't have any hope. And so Paul writes to the Thessalonians in 1 Thessalonians 4, 13 through 18, and he comforts them by correcting that theology and telling them what will happen when Jesus returns. But he also tells them, if you look at the, jump to the end of the passage, we'll read in a second, but in 1 Thessalonians 4 in verse 18, he tells them, therefore encourage one another with these words, that you could also translate that comfort one another with these words. So Paul is comforting the Thessalonians, but then he says, and remind each other of these things, comfort one another with these things. So it's coming through God's apostle, through his pastor, through his preacher, to the Thessalonians, but also they're supposed to mingle that amongst the community. They're supposed to speak that to each other. Basically, you see how the theology matters here, in that the source of their distress was that they had a misunderstanding of a key aspect of the gospel. They were uninformed. Look what he says in verse 13. He says, but we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers. about those who are asleep. That's a euphemism for death. We don't want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who have died. That you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. for the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and the sound of the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. See, they're not going to miss out. They're going to be resurrected when Jesus returns. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will always be with the Lord. And then it says, therefore, encourage one another with these words. So you see what he's doing? He's answering their problem, which in this case, the reason for their distress is they were ill-informed about what Jesus would do when he returns. Paul corrects that to encourage them, and then he says, encourage one another with these words. But notice how deeply theological all this is. He says, I mean, just in the terms of the theology of it, he says Christians grieve, verse 13, but they grieve differently than pagans. We grieve, we have sorrow, we have hurts, but we grieve with hope. And so he's informing them of that. Our grief is different. So he's discipling these Thessalonian believers. How do we respond to this grief, specifically the grief of losing a believer who's died? And he says, well, remember what the gospel says. Jesus died, he rose again. But just like He died and rose again, that's pretty integral to the gospel, right? That's at the heart of it. He died for our sins and He rose again. He will also bring with Him those who have fallen asleep. What does that mean? Those who have fallen asleep in Christ are actually with Christ. And He's going to bring them with Him. He's going to bring them at His return. And he talks about how those who are alive at the coming of the Lord are not going to actually experience the blessings of Christ's return first, but actually it's those who have died who are going to be the first recipients of the blessing, because the dead in Christ will rise first. When he returns, his first order of business is to resurrect the dead believers, right? Those who are dead in Christ. And there will be this great physical resurrection. Far from being a secret rapture, it says there's going to be a cry of command. There's going to be a voice of an archangel. There's going to be the sound of the trumpet of God. None of that is private, our secret, our hidden, right? That's a public, we say a personal, public, visible, glorious return of Christ. And then it says, we who are alive and those who have been resurrected will be caught up to meet the Lord in the air. Now notice it does not say what so many people on, preachers on TV make it say. It doesn't say we'll be caught up into heaven. He could have said that. This is not the rapture into heaven. We're caught up to meet him in the air. But where are we going after we meet him in the air? We're going to the earth, because the return of Christ to the earth to establish new heavens and new earth. The image most scholars tell us the image is, you know, when a king would go out and fight the enemy on the field of battle and he would return back to his kingdom, the people would come out of the city to receive him. They would come out of the city to receive him, celebrating that he was home from the victorious battle, and then they would process back into the city. So the image is Jesus is in heaven, right? He's coming back. We go out to meet him. Where? Into the air. And then we process where? Not back to the city. That's where he came from, right? The heaven. He's coming down. He's bringing the kingdom down to the earth. That's why we have resurrected bodies. That's why there will be a renewed earth. It's a very earthly hope. It's not I'll fly away, it's he'll come down. It's he'll come down and he'll establish this glorious kingdom on the earth. So, all that's really theological, isn't it? And Paul doesn't shy away from giving that rich theology to people who are just wondering, man, grandpa who loved Jesus and died, he's missed out. because he didn't stay alive until the return of Christ. And yet Paul goes into this rich theology to try to comfort them. So one application that's very important with this, when seeking to comfort others in their grief, we must certainly be careful and wise about our words, right? You can say the wrong thing to someone who's grieving. It's easy to speak the truth unseasonably. It's easy to give a trite comment. Things will get better. You know, you'll be with Jesus one day, something like that. These things are not helpful. At the same time, we must look for appropriate opportunities to comfort one another with words of hope. Sometimes when people are grieving, we don't say anything for fear of saying the wrong thing. And there is a legitimate caution, a legitimate concern about being like Job's friends, right, in their comfort, which wasn't helpful. And you can say hurtful things and not even intend to when people are suffering. But also, we need to direct people back to the gospel. We need to tell them Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ is coming again, and flesh it out. That's what Paul says here. I don't want you to be uninformed, brothers. And the reason I don't want you to be uninformed is not just so that you know when you're going through times of grief, that you need to know this, but so that you can encourage one another with these words. So in order to encourage one another, verse 18, with these words, you need to understand these words, right? Fair enough. You need to know the theology of Christ and his return and the hope that it gives. This isn't how many angels can dance on the head of a pen or whatever. This is meaningful theological truth that brings hope and comfort to our lives. And so comfort is not just sentimentalism. It's rooted in a robust theology of Christ. What he has done died for us, rose again, but also what he will do for us, he's coming again. An illustration of this sort of thing, I think, is Jesus in John chapter 11. So flip with me to John 11. This is when Lazarus dies. And Jesus goes to see Lazarus. He will end up raising him from the dead. But when he does, he has to first go through Martha and Mary, who are grieving the loss of their brother. And look at this, it's significant, John 11, 17 through 37. It says, now when Jesus came, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. Bethany was near Jerusalem, about two miles off, and many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to console them concerning their brothers. See, they're comforting one another. So when Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him, but Mary remained seated at the house. Two very different ladies responding to grief in two different ways. One says, I want to go talk to Jesus now and confront him and say, basically, if he had been here, he wouldn't have died. And the other one's like, no, I'm going to stay at home. Verse 21, Martha says to Jesus, Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now, I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you. Jesus said to her, your brother will rise again. Martha said to him, I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day. Jesus said to her, I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live. And everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this? She said to him, yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Christ, the son of God, who is coming into the world. And when she had said this, she went and called her sister, Mary, saying in private, the teacher is here and is calling you. And when she heard it, she rose quickly and went to him. Now, Jesus had not yet come into the village, but was still in the place where Martha had met him. When the Jews who were with her in the house, consoling her, saw Mary rise quickly and go out, they followed her, supposing that she was going to the tomb to weep there. Now, when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, where have you laid him? They said to him, Lord, come and see. Jesus wept. Shortest verse in the Bible. Jesus wept. So the Jews said, see how he loved him. But some of them said, could he who opened the eyes of the blind man also have kept this man from dying? So Mary and Martha, interestingly, make the same statement to Jesus in their grief. Verse 21, Martha says, Lord, if you'd been here, my brother would not have died. Mary says, verse 32, Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. They're both right. And that's why Jesus deliberately wasn't there, because he wanted to let Lazarus die so he could perform this great miracle. But even though they say the same thing, Jesus responds to them differently. He doesn't have a canned response to this statement. If you'd been here, my brother wouldn't have died, right? He doesn't have the same exact same thing that he says with both of them. With Martha, he immediately gives her hope with the truth. What is the truth that he gives to her? Very similar to the 1 Thessalonians 4 scenario. Verse 23, Jesus says, your brother will rise again. Just speaking of the general resurrection, right? The resurrection of the body on the last day. Martha says, yeah, I know. He's going to rise again on the last day. And, but then Jesus brings it even closer to the present. And he says in verse 25, one of these great, I am statements of Jesus. I am the resurrection of life. Whoever believes in me, even though he died, yet shall he live. And everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this? And so he directs her attention to his person. I'm the resurrection. not just the resurrection on the last day, but look at me, I'm the one who raises the dead, and he's about to show her a physical illustration of that. So he gives her truth, she's ready for it, he knows that, probably because he knows Martha. But with Mary, he doesn't do any of that. He doesn't go back through, well, do you believe in the resurrection, do you know that I'm the resurrection life? He just simply weeps. Now, obviously, Jesus knows everybody perfectly. He's the perfect comforter. He knows exactly what Martha needs. He knows exactly what Mary needs. And he does that. But also remember, yes, he's the son of God, but he's also genuinely human. And he is a genuine example to us of how we are to comfort others. There's not a one size fits all. We have to know people. Comforting each other is intensely personal. And you have to learn the time. When is the time to speak truth that gives hope? When is the time to simply weep with someone? In fact, sometimes the most meaningful thing that we can do when others are going through affliction is to weep with those who weep. Just be there, right? So applications for us in terms of just, where does the rubber meet the road on some of this stuff? And then tonight, I'm hoping you'll have time to discuss in these breakout sessions, how can we get better at this? What does it look like to do this? in our one another in the church. One thing is you don't always need to say anything, right? Jesus didn't say anything with Mary. We just saw that. To be present with others in their suffering is probably one of the most important things to do, to just be there, right? And you think of the many applications of that, right? Be there, when there's the funeral, right? Be there when the anniversary rolls around of the loss of a loved one. Be there when someone is in the hospital. Be there when someone has just lost their job, right? You know, whatever it might be, be present. The ministry of your own presence makes a difference. And we've said Job's friends actually did that at first. So Job's friends get a bad rap because later they become miserable comforters," with the scare quotes. And Joe says they're miserable comforters because they have a lot of bad things they say to him. But at first, if you remember, they just went to him, and they sat down in his ashes, in the ash heap with him, and they they mourned with him. And that was that weeping with those who weep, that they were an example of that. And that is one of the things that we should be able to do with those, especially with those who are grieving when they're in need of comfort. Be mindful also that many suffer in silence. There are people who are, you think about every Lord's Day we gather for worship, have Sunday school or Wednesday nights or whatever. There's always somebody who's grieving or hurting or going through, has a burden on their shoulders or whatnot. We need to be mindful. not only of sin, right, we talk about sin, and there's a place for talking about sin, of course, but also there are sufferers. There are people who are suffering, they're hurting, and it's easy to overlook them. And so we're called to be sensitive. We're called to look for those who are hurting. Remember how Jesus looked at people. Remember what it says? He saw them harassed and helpless like sheep without a shepherd. He looked out on the crowds and the multitudes and he had, what, compassion on them. We're meant to see people with the eyes of Jesus, especially our brothers and sisters. So if you're going to do something like Jesus did with Martha and Mary, where he's adapting his approach depending on the person and the context, you've got to know people, right? And so in terms of our community life, that's something that comes up is knowing one another, knowing what would be a helpful thing to say to a certain brother or sister, knowing what might not be helpful. That requires wisdom, but not just praying and getting special revelation from God, but getting to know people, talking to them, spending time with them. At appropriate times, giving those brief words of hope. As we said, Paul is not afraid to write a letter to the Thessalonians and say, let me remind you, I don't want you to be uninformed. I want you to know the truth of the gospel. I want you to believe in the second coming. I want you to believe in a physical resurrection. I want you to have this deeply ingrained in your heart and your mind. We should do the same. We should be willing to remind people of those things, not in a trite, platitudinal, cliche way, but in the robust, meaningful, sincere theology of the Bible. And then when others are suffering in terms of comforting each other, it's always helpful that we listen carefully and restrain ourselves from being judgmental about how someone is responding to their grief. So when people are grieving, when they're suffering, when they're hurting, they don't always say things that make sense. They don't always say things that are right. They don't always say things that are true. And they may not even mean what they're saying, right? Because it's part of the process of them wrestling through the grief. And so one of the things is, yes, there's a time and place to correct things. But obviously, to listen to someone, to hear them, and to pray for them, and to be with them. to respond with love and to meet them where they are in the midst of that grief with the consolations and the comforts of the gospel. And that's not easy to do, right? Because sometimes we're quick to render a snappy judgment. We're like, the main thing is correcting that thing that they said, right? No, no, the main thing is reminding them that they are loved by God and that God is with them, and that even in the midst of this affliction, he is turning it for good. It's not about correcting things at that moment. So tonight, what I really want you to focus on in your discussions is just thinking through how do we do this? How are, evaluate yourself, how am I doing this? As we've said with all these one another commands, it's very easy to say, I can think of a bunch of people who could be doing this better. There's a vicarious atonement, but don't be vicarious listeners, right? Christ died for us, but don't listen for others to think about how they can change. Ask yourself, how do I need to be a better comforter? How can I be more sensitive to the needs of the body and enter into love in that way? This is just another one of those, one another commands that always needs to be on our radar. Let's pray together. Father in heaven, we thank you for your word. It is a lamp into our feet and a light into our path. We thank you that you care for us in the midst of our deepest hurts and pains and sorrows, whether it's the loss of a loved one or some kind of affliction in our body, or it's chronic pain, or it's watching someone else suffer and trying to care for them. our frustrations at work, our stress in marriage, or whatever it may be, we pray that you would help us to be sympathetic comforters of one another, not like Job's friends who were miserable comforters, but those who truly reflect the love and the compassion of Christ. Help us to know when to speak words of truth and hope to others and to have the courage to do that, but also to know simply when we need to be silent and present and a shoulder to cry on and to pray with others and to support them in their trial. Lord, help us also to think of the ways that we have uniquely suffered and to see our suffering as a calling, a calling out of ourselves to learn how to better minister to others. Make us better comforters with the comfort with which we have been comforted by you. We pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen.