Psalm 91. I was going to read from Proverbs 31, but given where I'm going with this message, I thought this would be better, Psalm 91. This is a wonderful psalm. If you want to read a psalm of comfort to someone in the hospital, this is it, all right? He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust. For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge. His faithfulness is a shield and buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday. A thousand may fall at your side, 10,000 at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only look with your eyes and see the recompense of the wicked. Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place, the Most High, who is my refuge, No evil shall be allowed to befall you. No plague come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the adder, the young lion, the serpent you will trample underfoot. Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him. I will protect him because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble. I will rescue him and honor him. With long life, I will satisfy him and show him my salvation. This week, after we came back from vacation, I started working on the sermons we're going to be preaching down in Ecuador. They've asked us to do a series on the home. And this being Mother's Day, I thought I would divert from our series on the attributes of God and instead emphasize how we can honor the women in our lives by meeting their needs. As humans, we all have needs. Some are more needy than others. are sinful, selfish desires that they call needs. But of the basic, inerrant needs that we all have, we must understand, as we've read from the psalm today, that they all find their ultimate fulfillment in Christ. His is a love that never fails, and it covers a multitude of sins. He ever lives to make intercession for us. His presence goes with us, and it stays with us forever. He covers us with his feathers when we are afraid. And his strength is our shield. But every need that we have and every need that a woman has can also be found in a lesser degree in people around us. And we men. especially are the ones who are responsible for meeting those needs. So we need to pay attention this morning. Ladies, you can kind of sit back. I'm not going to apply Proverbs 31 to you. But there is a lot resting on our shoulders, men. Now before I go a little bit any further, I do want to clarify that I am not an expert on this subject. Nor do I believe that this message is a definitive answer to the deepest needs of a woman. But I do believe it will be helpful. There are three basic emotional needs built in to a woman. Number one, a woman needs to be seen as valuable. I'm not talking here about the worldly concept of maintaining their self-esteem. But Jesus addresses this basic human need. Turn, if you will, to the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew chapter 6. Matthew chapter 6. Verse 25. Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air. They neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Humans are the crown of creation. We are more valuable than any animal, any bird, any other created thing. Now, extreme environmentalists and extreme animal activists would have us believe that humans are no more valuable than the whale or the seal or the spotted owl. Now, I'm all for saving animals from cruel, senseless destruction and extinction. But if I have to decide between saving a baby in the womb and a baby seal, I'm going with the baby in the womb. Humans are more valuable than animals. God says so in Genesis 126. There's five other places in scripture that every human being, male or female, is made in his image. He doesn't say that about the animals. So no matter our gender, we are valuable to the Lord. But when society, especially the male side of society, views a woman simply as an object, as someone to gawk at sexually, or to take advantage of, or to treat in some inferior manner. They are saying that women are not valuable or significant as a gender. But you see, as God's image bearers, they are not objects. They are not playthings. And they are definitely not inferior to men. Because guess what, men? They complete us. We need them. We do. God said in Genesis 2.18 that the woman was made as a helper suitable for him. He needed her. So God provided him and us with a woman. She is very valuable. Now, women certainly have a biblically defined, submissive role in the home and in the church. But that does not in any way diminish or lessen her dignity her value, or her significance. And to see this, let's go to Proverbs 31. Relax, women. This is still on us men. Proverbs 31. Proverbs 31, beginning at verse 10. an excellent wife who can find. She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not harm all the days of her life. Now although this passage is specifically talking about the wife, if we change the wording a little, and I'm not adding or taking away here, as Revelation warns, but we can apply it to all women. An excellent woman, or a woman of noble character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. The man can have full confidence in her, and he lacks nothing of value. Women bring men good, not harm. all the days of her life. Note, women are important, and they have significance in the eyes of God. And for us men, and I'm speaking of males of all ages, We have a duty before God, our creator, to treat all women, our wives, our sisters, our daughters, our mothers, with the same dignity and respect and significance that God sees in them. When we do otherwise, we sin. And we are guilty of slapping God in the face because those women are made in his image. That's all I'll say there. For the next two basic needs, we need to look at the relationship of Jesus, the heavenly groom, with his bride, the church. For that, let's go over to Ephesians chapter 5. Ephesians chapter 5. Ephesians 5, verse 25, and we'll read to the end of the chapter. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband. The second need that a woman has is the need to be loved. Note again verse 25. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Verse 28. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Verse 32, this mystery is profound and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church, however, that each one of you love his wife as himself. Notice the verbs there. Love, love. love. If man is required to love his wife, then women need to be loved. It's assumed there. Of course, men also desire to be loved. But I think God has built this in more so in the woman. But before I go any further, I have to answer a possible objection or misunderstanding that might arise at this point. Some may think that by saying that the woman has the strong desire to be loved is a sign of weakness or deficiency in the woman. Not so. To desire to be loved is a good and healthy thing. God says it's that way. God made it so. Others may think I'm implying that the woman is incomplete if she doesn't have a man, if she doesn't have a husband. Now, granted, some women do feel they must be married in order to be loved. But that isn't necessary. Not at all. Especially as a Christian woman. Each single woman is complete, the Bible says, complete in Christ. He loves them dearly. Plus, that need for love can be met as she is loved by her family, by her friends, by her earthly father, by her son, by her pastor. In other words, a woman does not have to have a husband in order to have the need for love fulfilled. She can have the love of friend and family, but these are just shadows of the love that is of most value, the love of God the Father and the love of His Son. Now, some ladies have been hurt by men who said the words, I love you, but unfortunately didn't back up those words. Some male motives behind that are self-centered or could be self-gratifying. And so instead of loving the wife as Christ loved the church, which speaks specifically of sacrificial love and of unconditional love, the woman is met with the self-absorbed actions of rejection, mistreatment, or they simply are ignored and despised. This happened to King David's daughter, Tamar. She serves as a great example of this. Her half-brother, Amnon, selfishly wanted her for himself. And after some cunning deceit, he raped her and afterwards hated her more than he loved her before, being totally self-absorbed. And although Tamar's brother, full brother Absalom, got revenge against Amnon, the hurt and the disgrace that she experienced was brushed aside like nothing had happened. For we sadly read in 2 Samuel 13 verse 20 how Tamar spent the rest of her life. It says, and Tamar lived in her brother Absalom's house, a desolate woman. Tamar was abused, taken advantage of, and then ignored. Sadly, this is how many women and teenage girls are living today. They've been ill-treated by those who are supposed to love them, supposed to treat them as valuable. But they've been mistreated. and now they see themselves as damaged goods that no one will want to have, and so they end up living in promiscuity, confusing sex for intimacy. Others remain in an abusive relationship, not knowing what true love really is, or believing they're getting what they deserve. and fearing that no one else is going to give them the time of day, they stay there, trapped, helpless, and unloved. And any man who treats a woman this way, he's a coward, he's a criminal, and he ought to be horse whipped, or worse. My dad said he needs to be hung up by his thumbs and darts thrown at him. Men, God commands us to love and to respect the women that he puts into our lives. And if she's a Christian lady, love and respect her as a daughter of God and as your sister in Christ. Dad, love your daughters. Treat them with respect and honor and dignity and with true, unconditional love. that Christ displays toward us. For when you consistently love your daughters in that way, in the way that Christ loves us, your little girls are going to grow up into young ladies who will know what love is, and they'll make right decisions as to the kind of guy they're going to go with, because they're going to go with the one who loves them like dad loves her. Sons, we are to love and respect our mothers, not just on Mother's Day. put all the days of their lives in of ours. Honor your father and mother is the command that Paul says in chapter 6 here, verse 1. Quoting God in Exodus 20, your mother has sacrificed much for you. Don't take that for granted. Love them. Treat them kindly. Sacrifice yourself for them. Listen to their advice and follow it. They have wisdom. And husbands, we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for it. We are to esteem them higher than ourselves. We must be willing to lay down our lives for them. But the wife says, honey, I know you'd lay your life down for me, but couldn't you just help me with the dishes tonight? We can do the high thing, but do you take time to spend with your wife to ease her workload in the home? Do the laundry once in a while. We are to say I love you. The words are necessary. But then we are to back up those words with actions because love in the New Testament is a verb. It's an action word. It's not necessarily an emotion. It goes along with that. But it's a word of action. So we need to display the 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love in our relationship with our wives. Live out those commands every day of our lives with our wives. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not rude. It's not irritable. It's not revengeful. It bears all things. All the mistakes she makes, it bears with it. And it forgives all things. And guys, your love should always be unconditional, just like Christ was. We don't love them only when they submit to our leadership. We don't love them only when they meet our physical or emotional needs. God's word says to love them, period. No exceptions. Love them. And believe me, when you do that, when you love them unconditionally, God has a way of blessing, bringing blessing to that relationship. But ladies, even if the men in your life let you down, remember there is one whose love for you is indescribably wonderful. God's love for you is unconditional. It's selfless. It's giving. And it's eternal. It is a love that will never, ever let you down. It is a love that will never ever let you go. It is a love that will never ever cast you aside or reject you. It is a love that will never ever place selfish demands upon you. It's a love expressed toward you, not because of any outward trait. It's given you not based on your looks, it's not based on your personality, your ability, your wealth, or any other temporary attribute. God loves you because he has chosen to love you. And this love, he backed up with actions. He sent his son to die for your sins. What more could he have done to prove his love for you? Oh, the love of a man is good and natural. But remember, no man can ever love you like Jesus loves you. So don't try to satisfy the need of love solely in a man. Let your relationship with the Lord be your satisfaction. But then there's a third need of a woman. It's found here in the text. A woman needs security. A woman needs security. I remember my dad talking to me before I was married how this was necessary in a relationship with your wife to be whoever it was before Carla. He said, when you plan on getting married, she needs to know that you're always there for her. Paul, he says, she needs to know that you're going to take care of her, that you're going to supply her needs. In other words, she first needs security in her personal relationship with you. Every married woman, every woman in a dating relationship, every mother, every mother with a son and every daughter with a father needs to know that they are secure in that relationship. Who wants to be constantly worried that their husband is going to cast them aside for another woman? Who wants to constantly be trying to win her husband's approval and affection and loyalty? Man, your wife needs to hear words of assurance from you. Like Solomon gave his bride in Song of Solomon 1.8, addressing her as, oh, most beautiful among women. She needs to know that you have eyes only for her. She needs to be assured that you see her as desirable. As Solomon again says in chapter 4, verse 7, you are altogether beautiful, my love. There is no flaw in you. So boast about her in appropriate ways, in appropriate settings. Let her know as often as possible that you value her. She needs that security. And we can apply this to every male-female relationship as well. Mothers shouldn't have to perform certain acts in order to get their sons to love her. Daughters shouldn't have to do things a certain way in order to win the father's approval. Unfortunately, many do suffer from that insecurity. They don't know when their dad comes home from work whether he's going to be the loving father who walks in the door or if it's going to be the moody guy who flies off the handle and angry at the least little thing. Some women aren't sure if their man is ever going to come home or not. They worry about him exchanging her for a younger, more exciting woman. There is a movie called Where the Heart Is that begins with a young pregnant woman whose no good boyfriend drops her off at the Walmart and leaves to go pursue a country music career. Unfortunately, there are biblical examples of this as well in the book of Esther. King Xerxes was so angry with his wife Vashti for not dancing seductively before his friends that he kicked her out of the palace and never to set foot in it again. Even our hero Abraham booted his wife Hagar out of the home community. And because men were later discarding their wives for insignificant reasons, the Lord gave specific commands limiting divorce. There was obviously a sense of insecurity in the hearts of many women in biblical times. And the same fear of abandonment is very real to some women today. Every one of them wants to know that they are loved by their husband, by their father, by their brother, by their son, and that she is secure in that relationship. So men, if you love your wives, have eyes only for her. And don't talk all the time about other women. And don't let other women flirt with you or give you more attention than is normal, because it can lead to insecurity. in the life of your wife. And if she reacts to it, if it happens, don't say to her, oh, grow up. You should know that I love you. Don't play with your wife's emotions that way. Let her know by your words and by your actions that she is secure in your relationship with her. Love her how? As Christ loved the church. and gave himself up for her. That kind of self-sacrificial love will create a great sense of security in her. But ladies, though you need to be able to trust your husbands and rest securely in your relationship with him, remember your deepest security is not found in a man. It's only found in Christ. you can be totally secure in your relationship with the Lord. John 6.37 says that the Lord will never cast us out. John 10.29 says that no one can snatch us out of the Father's hand. We read in Romans 8 that nothing can separate us from the love of God. We read in Jude that the Father is able to keep us from falling. And in Philippians 1, since the Father started out his good work in us, he's going to complete it. In 1 Peter 1, 4, our spiritual inheritance will never perish because it's guarded and kept in heaven for us. And if we seek first his kingdom, then all of these things, all of your needs are going to be supplied. All the security you need is provided. God's word is very clear that we don't have to worry about God being in a bad mood around us. He's never going to abandon us. He'll never forget us. He will never lose interest in us. He will never throw us out of his kingdom. Even when we blow it by sinning, you and I can rest securely in our relationship with God. But then there is another area of security which is needful for the woman, not only her personal security in her personal relationship, but also security within the home. Although God has made the man the head of the home, the home is the wife's nest. It's her safe place, her sanctuary, the extension of herself. But husbands can threaten that personal security by not providing financially for them, by mismanaging money, wasting money, or by constantly losing job after job after job. In those situations, the wife could feel very anxious about her future, about how she's going to care for her children, about the payment of the bills, about even keeping the house. Women need to feel secure in their personal lives. Isn't this implied in Paul's description of the husband and his responsibility toward the wife here in Ephesians 5? Look at verse 28. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church. Because we are members of his body. Now notice the words nourish and cherish. Nourish simply means to feed, to provide for. And do we not all strive to take care of every potential problem in our own lives? Do we not feed ourselves, supply the body's desires, seek its healing, protect it from harm, Men are to supply the same security for their wives and daughters. Perhaps your mother is a widow. She also needs this kind of nourishing. And then there's the word cherish. The basic meaning conveys the idea of covering for warmth or to clothe. And women need this. Don't make them look frumpy. Dress them up. Show them off. But the word conveys a further idea, that of caring, guarding, looking after. In fact, the word is used in ancient times for a mother hen who gathers her chickens under her wings, where they are warm, where they are secure. protected from the night chill. But they're also secure there, guarded, protected. Now tell me, when you consider these two words in relationship to nourishing and cherishing your own body, do we supply our bodies with just barely enough food? With barely enough clothing? with barely enough shelter to squeak by at a bare minimum existence. When we are hungry, we stuff ourselves. When we are clothed, cold, we clothe it and we turn up the heat in the winter no matter what the utility costs are. At least I do. I can't stand to be cold. And the women in our lives need to have the same kind of attention, the same kind of security. You see, the happiest, most content married women are those who know without a doubt that their husband loves them, that their husbands are completely loyal and devoted to them, and that they back it up with tender, loving provision and care. And if you want further proof of this, that it's required of men toward their wives, check out the end of verse 30. Because we are members of his body. No one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body. Did Christ barely scrape together our salvation? No. Is he stingy with his gifts to us? Does he renege on his care for us? No. There is never a moment that Christ is not tenderly watching over his body, the church. We are under his constant surveillance. His eyes are continually upon us. Psalm 139, when we lie down, when we rise up, Every time, everything and everything in between. He's there. He never leaves us. He never forsakes us. He continually intercedes for us before the throne of God. Or, Psalm 91. He who dwells in the shelter of the Almighty, of the Most High, will dwell in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say he is my refuge, my strength. My fortress, my God, in whom I trust. And he will cover you with his feathers. And under his wings, you will find refuge. His faithfulness is a shield and buckler. And therefore, we can cast all our anxiety upon him, because we know he cares for us. We are convinced that we are his personal concern and objects of his very special care. And our wives must feel this about us men as well. But it's not only wives that are the happiest and most content when we love them. It also applies to your daughters. For if they know without a doubt that they are loved by the most important male in their lives, their earthly fathers, they become very secure in a very insecure world. And the happiest mother is one who knows without a doubt that her children love her, that they are thankful for her, for her care, and that they would do anything for her. But ladies, again, if this isn't happening in your personal lives, know that it exists in your spiritual life. In other words, the happiest or most content women in the world are those who know without a doubt that their Lord Jesus absolutely loves them and that he will always be their Lord Jesus. You can rest safely in the arms of Jesus, grab hold of that truth, and never let it go. It's true. God's word says so. Let's pray. Our dear Heavenly Father, we live in a world that is torn apart by fighting, by division between nations, between political parties between husbands and wives, but it doesn't have to be that way. Whether it's the relationship in marriage or the relationship in the home between parents and children, Lord, you've given us your prescribed way of dealing with that. You've given us responsibilities to perform. And we men, especially in light of this Mother's Day, help us to realize and follow through with the responsibilities that you've given us toward our wives, toward our daughters, toward our mothers. Help us to be true men, men who love, men who care, men who provide, men who love. men who act like Jesus, who loved us so much that he gave himself up for us. Help our love to the women in our lives to be sacrificial, to be unconditional, to be self-giving, Help us to be in it, not for ourselves, for what we can get out of it, out of the relationship for us, but help us to give and give and give and give ourselves to the other one. Because that's how you responded to us. And help every woman here. We pray that they will be able to trust the man in their lives. But if it's not happening, help them to Realize that they can be content and they can be secure and they are secure as a Christian in the everlasting arms of Jesus Christ. Help us all to realize that he is our groom and we are his bride and he will never ever leave us or forsake us. But he will always love us because he's already demonstrated the greatest act of love he could ever do. and that is to lay his life down for the sheep. We thank you, Lord, for the relationship that we can have with you. And may we, in our relationships, demonstrate, may it portray that great love you have for us. In Jesus' name.