It may be that more and more women work outside the home and become the major breadwinners. I concur. It may be simply because of cohabitation. The rate of living together and not being married since 1960 has increased more than a thousand percent. And that doesn't even take into account the whole LGBT movement. Lastly, it may be because college graduates are simply putting off marriage because they have all the school debt. The study concluded with this comment, and I quote, yet even with the drop in married households, the fact remains that marriage still remains a goal and a dream for a great many people, a testament to the power of love, unquote. So people still want to get married. Why? Well, I think there's two scenarios here. First, what the world would say. Why do I want to get married? I'm lonely. I want to be happy. I want to have children. I'm tired of being single. All my friends are getting married at the peer pressure for financial or money security. I need someone to depend on. Income tax breaks. So I can wear a wedding dress. Or if you're a guy, a fancy tuxedo. For romance. Sadly, our world is just filled with these fictional romance novels. But some people. The other scenario, what the Bible says. Does the Bible have anything to say about this? It has lots to say. First, one reason for marriage the Bible gives is companionship. We'll see here today, Adam was lonely. He needed a helper. Second, since the first marriage was between the first man and the first woman, it can be assumed that marriage is God's will for most people. And I think the Bible is very clear, we're not going to cover this today, but very clear that husband and wife are not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever, 2 Corinthians 6.14. Thirdly, to raise up godly children, Psalms 127, which we're all familiar with. Fourthly, not only does marriage teach our children how to be faithful and give them a stable environment in which to learn and grow, it has a sanctifying effect on both marriage partners when they submit to God's commands according to Ephesians and Colossians. Sure, every marriage has difficult moments or difficult dynamics, but that's all part of the sanctifying process. Two sinful people creating a life together, they must submit to God's commands to love each other as Christ has loved us, that being selflessly. These two verses, Ephesians 5.22, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. Ephesians 5.25, husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. So marriage is very helpful and trying to live a godly life as it helps scrub a heart clean of selfishness and other impurities. Fifthly, marriage also protects individuals from sexual immorality. 1 Corinthians 7, 2. The world we live in is full of sexual images, innuendo, temptations. Even if a person doesn't pursue sexual sin, it can pursue him or her, and it's very difficult to escape. Marriage provides a healthy place to express sexuality without opening oneself up to sin and the severe emotional and many times physical damage that is caused by casual, non-committed relationships. Finally, marriage is a beautiful picture of the relationship between Christ and His church, the body of believers, we. that make up the church are collectively called the bride of Christ. And as the bridegroom, Christ gave his life for his bride to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word. Ephesians 5. Christ's selfless act provides an example, particularly for we who are husbands. So back to my original question. Why did you marry your spouse? worldly reasons or biblical reasons. Today's passage will be looking at this wonderful institution that God has created called marriage. And so my title is God's Design for Marriage. So let's pray, dedicate this time to the Lord. Father, thank you for your word. Thank you for marriage. One woman, one man. Lord, I pray that you would help us today, particularly those of us that are married, to be encouraged, to be convicted, to realize the significance of this relationship that you've given us. I pray that you would help me to speak the truth, and we just thank you and value your word, for it does hold the truth. We just dedicate this time to you in Christ's name, amen. So if you turn to your Bibles, I broke this passage up into three different sections. The first being 18 through 20. So follow along as I read chapter 2, verses 18 through 20. And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone. And I will make a help me for him. And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, every fowl of the air, and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them. And whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helpmeet for him." I call this first section, The Problem for Marriage. Verse 18 begins with the words, and the Lord God said, it is not good. Caleb talked about that in his prayer. Up to this point, the Lord said everything or it was good. Eventually it was very good. So this is quite different. Why was it not good? It was not good that man should be alone. But couldn't Adam just fellowship with God, enjoy the beauty of the garden, accomplish daily work? He could even play with the animals. Some may ask, what more could he possibly want? God knew what Adam needed, a helper suitable for him. And that is what God does when in verse 18 he says, I will make him a help me for him. Now, I'll get to help me in the second section, but looking at verses 19 to 20, most commentators agree that in the Hebrew construction of these verses, it reads, the Lord had formed. Meaning that what is said in these two verses, 19 and 20, occurred before the statement given in 18 about Adam being alone. The Lord had formed every beast in the field, every fowl of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would name them. And whatever Adam called them, that became their name. But here in verse 20, the problem remains for Adam. There was not found a help me for him. Since Adam was to have dominion over the whole earth according to Genesis 1.26, God brings each animal to Adam and Adam the privilege of naming each one. So we've talked about naming in the ancient world was primarily exercise of dominion and authority. And although no time frame is given as to how long this process took, we can be assured that there were long periods of conversation and fellowship between Adam and his creator. Yet none of these creatures could correspond or complement Adam as none of the animals had been created in the image of God as he had been. This reminds me of the phrase that's been around for a long time, which states, a dog is man's best friend. But are they really? After talking to a co-worker this week, whose name was Adam, when he told me this story, his three-year-old dog turned vicious. And it reminded me about completely trusting animals. Now, I don't want to offend any of you that have dogs or cats or rabbits or birds or whatever family pets you have. We've had family pets in the past. Every morning when I go out early to run, I feed my three barn cats, and now I got six little babies. And if you would have told me years ago that I would be even around cats, I'd say you're crazy, because I'm not a cat lover. But these are my cats, so they're okay now. But as I read this about dogs, I want to read it to you as well. It has been said that a nature of fellowship can exist between a man and a dog. In fact, it is quite possible for a man and a dog to have great fellowship as they can spend many enjoyable hours together. They can play games. They can show and share affection. But the fellowship must be on the dog's level because the dog can only communicate on that level. Adam undoubtedly saw this in the parade of animals and realized that if he was to have a companion, the companion would have to be specially created in the image of God as he was. One commentator stated this, the plain fact is that Adam needed Eve. Not a single animal God had created could do for Adam what Eve could do. She was a helper suitable for him. When God paraded the animals before Adam for him to name, they doubtless came before him in pairs, each with its mate. And perhaps Adam wondered, why don't I have a mate? So there was a problem. Adam needed a companion like himself, so God made one in Eve. The creation of woman as a companion for man reveals something significant about the nature of humans. They're social beings. Few people have any desire to be just plain loners. While it could be certainly said that times of solitude are helpful for looking inward, reflecting upon life, the majority of time, association with others is vitally important for the full development of personhood. Therefore, the statement in verse 18, it is not good that man should be alone, reveals the human need for companionship. What is companionship? Particularly as it relates to marriage. In general, it's defined as friendship, fellowship, closeness, togetherness, enjoyment of being with someone. In a marriage, it could be defined as having your spouse as your very best friend, someone you really look forward to spending time with. someone to share your innermost thoughts, someone to accompany you along the path of life here on this earth, which goes right along with Malachi 2.14. If you look that up, it speaks of a wife as being the companion of a husband, and companion is defined there as one who accompanies. One who accompanies. As I thought about that, thought about my own marriage, Husband and wife, what does it mean to be accompanying one another? It includes to be in a deep relationship with each other. As marriage companions, you are now together and not alone. This would mean opening yourself up to be truly known by your spouse and being accepted, and the flip side, to know your spouse and truly accept them. It means to be united in our purpose. This has to do with serving the Lord together and working for the Kingdom of God. It also has to do with family life, raising children and working to provide for their needs. Both husband and wife united together laboring for this purpose. And thirdly, it means to have a shared life journey together, to love each other, care for each other, encourage each other, support each other, help each other, forgive each other. It means finding each other's weaknesses, also discovering each other's strengths as you travel along. It means weeping with each other, rejoicing with one another, sharing your burdens and your joys together. For those of you that are married, does this describe the companionship you have with your spouse? What is often the case when a marriage breaks down, it's a couple may live in this very same house, but spend very little time interacting with each other. Over time, they develop destructive habits of independence that enables them to grow apart. And because of that distance between them, seeds of discontentment and dissatisfaction grow, and thus companionship just dries up. Let me give you a few thoughts of what I'm calling obstacles to companionship in marriage. The first, and I would have never said this one 20 years ago, the first is technology. You did not marry your iPhone, you married your spouse. What a hindrance, what a hindrance social technology has played on true companionship these days. Secondly, work. Man, your priority is your spouse, not your job. Children. Oh, how I love my children. And I dearly love them. And I love my grandchildren, too. But besides the Lord, my wife has to be at the top of my relationships. Why do marriages often fail when the home becomes an empty nest? Because companionship between husband and wife has failed many years before. Selfishness. I talked about sanctification. Selfishness is one of the main reasons there's no companionship. Philippians 2.3 says, let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but a lowliness of mind. Let each esteem others better than themselves. Selfishness leads us to prioritize our own desires over companionship and friendship with our spouse. And lastly, sin. Continuing sin slowly eats away at the foundation of marriage, one of which is companionship. It could be the sin of anger, unforgiveness, immorality, even a bitterness that develops between spouses. Husbands and wives, if I were to ask you to give yourself a grade on companionship in your own marriage. What would it be? A? Maybe just a B? Hopefully it's not a C or a D. Or lastly, an F. Please remember, don't take your marriage for granted. It is a privilege. It's a blessing. Especially men remember Proverbs 18.22, which says, Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord. Now I want to take just a minute or two and talk to many of you who are single, and encourage you, I mean, you would probably love to be married. And I know waiting is hard. Yet I would encourage you to use this time of singleness in a productive and godly way. While you are waiting on the Lord, trusting in the Lord, and praying to the Lord for a husband or wife, my encouragement is to be serving the Lord. Take this extra time to seek opportunities to minister to your family members, to others who are needy, to share the gospel with the lost. Really keep yourself focused on serving in areas where God opens doors. Please don't let self-pity take control as the temptation may be. But apply yourself and use this time for greater maturity and preparation for a time when God does bring a spouse of his choosing into your life. And parents, I trust you are walking alongside your single children. providing counsel, praying, beseeching the Lord to bring godly spouses into your children's lives. Ephesians 3.20 says, Now unto him that is able to do exceedingly abundantly, above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us. God is able. He is able. But you have to be willing to wait and trust on his timing. Let's move on to verses 21-23. And the Lord caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept. And he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof. And the rib which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man. I call this section portion the provision for marriage. As we begin here in verse 21, we see that God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, so deep that he didn't even wake up from the pain as the Lord opened up his flesh and took one of his ribs. One author commented, the woman is not only made for man, but she is made from man. A couple of points are worth noting here. First, the creation of woman was accomplished by God without the help of man he had created. As pointed out, man was not even conscious when all this was going on. God's gift of the woman was purely an act of grace on God's part. And secondly, the creation of woman was not totally separate and distinct creation since she was made from something pre-existing, from man's side. Traditionally the word rib is used in the scriptures, although the Hebrew verbiage is literally says took part of man's side. Matthew Henry wrote on this verse, Eve was not made out of his head to rule over him, or out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him, unquote. God's plan was perfect for woman, was created after man, was created so man could see and experience loneliness, and then recognize her great value to him. 1 Corinthians 11, 7-9 confirms this when it says, For the man indeed ought not to cover his head, for as much as he is the image and glory of God, but the woman is the glory of man. For the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man. As we see in verse 22, for after the woman was created the Lord God brought her to man where in verse 23 Adam declares, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. God truly provided for Adam when he gave him a helpmeet in Eve. What is a helpmeet? That's our next subject. Hopefully, every one of you married men can look over at your wife and firmly say, there's my helpmate. The word itself in the Hebrew means counterpart, responding to him. As I thought about the word counterpart, it reminded me of little children who get into stages in which they're immensely intrigued by riddles. For instance, a child may ask his parents, what is most like half of the moon? And when my little children, when they were little, would ask me a riddle, I would often answer by guessing everything except the correct answer. So for instance, what is most like half the moon? I would say half an orange. No, daddy. OK, how about half of a basketball? No, daddy. Okay, how about half of a circle? Daddy. Okay, I give up. What is like half of the moon? How about half of the other moon? That would be the correct answer. So what is most like man? The answer is a woman. And what is most like a woman? A man. Sure, there are differences. Women are smarter men, right? They're certainly better looking. I know that, so. I think you have to agree, though, that the two are more alike than anything else in creation. Eve was a helpmate perfectly suited for Adam. Now let me digress a minute to say that the word helped me, it greatly distresses many of today's feminists. Why? Well, to consider a woman being made for a man, even more to speak of her being under a man, and in submission to her husband, is considered inferior in their eyes. And yet, this is not what man himself is saying. This is what God said. This is what God did. Are men and women equal? In most ways they are. They're both created in the image of God. They're both guilty of sin and judged by God for their disobedience. Both men and women can be saved through grace in the Lord Jesus Christ. Galatians 3.28 says, There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female, for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. And yet 1 Corinthians 11.3 addresses inequality when it says, but I would have you to know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God. Ephesians 5.23 says the same thing, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church and the Savior of the body. Now sadly, some men may take this to an extreme in this fallen, sinful state and say that woman was made for man, so she is a servant to him. But nothing could be farther than the truth. What we see here in these verses, Adam considers Eve to be his companion, not his servant. And he was thrilled, for she was his true counterpart. She was the other half of the moon. He was thrilled to have her. he would have no trouble loving his wife as his own body. Help me. Wives, how good a helpmate are you to your husband? If I were to pass out a piece of paper, ask each of the husbands to write down on a sheet of paper, one to ten, ten being the greatest, best, one being the worst, where would your husband, what number would he put on there? Would he say, to ten? I say, well, let me think about it. Let me, I don't know. I wanted to give you some simple, practical ways in implementing what it means to be a helpmate to your husband. First, emotionally. Encourage your husband. Your words and actions can either build him up or they can tear him down. Don't nitpick or criticize him. Don't be the continuous drippy faucet talked about in Proverbs 27. Assist him with tasks like chores or errands, especially when he seems overwhelmed. Take good care of the household. It's a big responsibility, ladies, to take care of your house, but it is a blessing to your husband. Ask him, how can I help? I shared some of this with my wife yesterday, and this morning she said, how can I help? I thought that was great. Be prepared to give him good counsel when he asks. Secondly, spiritually, pray for him. I can't emphasize this enough. Pray for your husbands. Pray with him. Every time I talk about marriage, I talk about this. Pray with your husband. And husbands, you have to take the initiative. If you're not doing it, I mean, I say that, and I know some of you aren't doing it. Pray with him. Submit to his spiritual leadership. That may be the most difficult, maybe because of selfishness. That's what the scriptures call for. And lastly, physically. If I described this aspect in two words, it would be affection. Be affectionate. 1 Corinthians 7, 1-3 says, Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me, it is not good for a man to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence. That's affection. And likewise also the wife unto the husband. Simply put, make your husband a priority. that means be affectionate. And if you notice this verse, it isn't just addressing the wives, it's addressing the husbands too. Husbands, you're encouraged as well to be affectionate. I would just urge you that sometime in the next few days, husbands and wives sit down together, just the two of you, and ask this question, how could I be more affectionate to you? Sometimes I think men take more advantage of the situation that they're married than ladies. They just take it for granted. But I want to just encourage you, man, to remember you have a true gift. It's a gift when God gives you a wife. So you're to nourish her, cherish her, love her, because God has given you a helper suitable just for you. Last section, verses 24 and 25. shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." I call this last section the plan for marriage. Verse 24 begins with a word, therefore, indicating a reasoned conclusion specific to marriage. The man is to leave the father and mother and shall cleave or be joined unto his wife. Two words together here, leave and cleave, must happen in order that they can become one flesh. For if he does not leave, he cannot cleave. If you look up cleave, In the Hebrew, the meaning is to adhere to, to join oneself to, to be united with, to hold fast. This cleaving is further described, they shall be one flesh. An intimate cohesion that includes, but much more than just the physical union. This joining is meant to be permanent, lasting through tough times, looking out for the interest of others, and be ministering together as one. This one flesh ties in well with Ephesians 5. So men ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord, the church. What does cleaving mean? One author mentioned these things. First, cleaving to your mate means being dedicated to them. Having said, I do, means you have chosen to forsake others and are investing your life in this relationship for the remainder of your time here on this earth. In other words, you recognize a permanency of marriage in God's sight. You're dedicated to keeping the relationship vibrant and healthy through being intentionally caring, giving, and sacrificially loving. As I read that, it reminded me of years ago when I was at a conference. The speaker gave two pieces of wood, and I did this yesterday, cut these two pieces of particle board, and I glued them together. Now if I was to take my chisel and put it in here with my hammer, I could get these two apart. But I will tell you that what is on the inside would be torn and frazzled. And that is so often the case when people choose divorce. It causes havoc in the family. The permanency of marriage, that is God's intention. Second, cleaving means ongoing exploration of who your spouse is and how they are unique. We never stop learning about our spouse. I've been married for 43 years, and I will tell you that even often, I think I know exactly what my spouse is thinking. But I'm not, I was totally wrong when she explains it. Cleaving means sharing with your mate on a deep level, and I already talked a little bit about that. But it means we want to know them more fully and deeply than any other person. We actually just kind of study them. Really, if you think about it, true intimacy occurs through really deep sharing, transparency between each of you, and vulnerability, willing to share your heart. And finally, cleaving means enjoying each other fully and exclusively. Enjoying each other. I mean, it is a great thing to be married. But it's exclusive. It's one woman, one man. We should delight in this relationship God has given. We're pleased to offer our full self to our spouse. Verse 25 is our concluding verse this morning. It's interesting because it depicts Adam and Eve before the fall. My Bible says in the footnotes, their outward nakedness was a sign of their integrity in that they lived and moved without guilt, shame, or fear of threat. In other words, they were not ashamed for they didn't even know what shame was. To me this verse emphasized the innocence, openness, and trust that existed between the husband and wife. Yet to the contrary this integrity was shattered by the fall of man as we will see in chapter 3 when their eyes were opened and they realized they were naked leading to shame. If we read just the very first sentence in chapter 3. It says, now the serpent was more subtle or more cunning or more crafty than any beast of the field. And we will see next week how Satan uses this craftiness to undermine the integrity that existed between Adam and Eve. As we wrap up today, I have covered a lot of ground. I just want to conclude by saying that God has a perfect plan. for marriage. But sadly our world has turned it upside down and inside out, making it nothing at all like God's original intention. That's why a few weeks ago the elders put together an additional item to be added to our church's statement of faith, clarifying what God intended for marriage, and to be the biblical truth that we want to hold to here in this assembly. So I want to read it to you in closing, and I trust you are on complete and full agreement with this statement. We believe that marriage is the uniting of one man and one woman in covenant commitment for a lifetime. It is God's unique gift to reveal the union between Christ and His Church and to provide for the man and the woman in marriage the framework for intimate companionship, the channel of sexual expression according to biblical standards, and the means for procreation of the human race. That is really God's design for marriage, the uniting of one man and one woman in covenant commitment for a lifetime. I would suspect in the upcoming years, this world we live in is going to continue to twist the biblical definition of marriage into just about anything they want it to be. May we as chosen people of His cling to the true word of God. and not compromise the standards, no matter what the cost. So let's pray. Lord, we thank you for your design for marriage. Lord, I pray for the marriages represented in this assembly, that you would bless them, that each, both husband and wife, would realize what they have in their spouse. Lord, we're so prone to selfishness, so prone to be critical, to be judges, to complain. Lord, I pray that you would help each of us to realize the significance of the relationship, the covenant relationship that we've entered into and realize that our goal should be to please you. And in doing so, please our spouse. Lord, help us to Just take your word to heart today. Thank you for the truth of your word. Thank you for creating woman as a companion, as a helpmate for men. Just pray all this in Christ's name. Amen.