Our scripture this morning comes from 1 Corinthians 7. I will be reading verses 1 through 16. Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife. and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise also, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But this I say by way of concession, not of command. Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they do not have self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband. But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband. and that the husband should not divorce his wife. But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife. And the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband. For otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave. The brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? Let's pray and ask God's blessing on His Word. Father, as we stand before the sacred text of Holy Scripture, we pray that Your Spirit might work in our midst, that He would speak to hearts, and that He would call us to greater faithfulness and deeper understanding of Your will. For we know, O Lord, that only He can do such work. Help us, for we pray in Jesus' name. Amen. Over the years, I have had occasion to counsel Christian people wanting to get married. Several of these folk have used Internet dating services. Though I don't encourage such methods, I have been interested in their experiences. It seems that a large number of professing Christians use such websites. They can post a specifically Christian profile so as to be matched to compatible Christians of the opposite sex. It's also apparent that a disproportionate number of these Christian postings are divorced people seeking to be remarried. And of those, most of them claim to be biblically justified in their divorces, citing either adultery or desertion. they consider themselves free to remarry again without sin. Now I don't doubt that there are many cases where there are true exceptions to Jesus general rule regarding marriage and divorce. I'm less convinced that most of them are exceptional cases and I simply cannot believe that all of them truly meet the criteria outlined in Matthew 5, Matthew 19, and 1 Corinthians 7. Now part of the problem here is the deceitfulness of the human heart. That innate desire to excuse ourselves and to cover our sins. Ever since the Garden of Eden, men and women have been shifting blame and running from their responsibility. Another contributing factor to the current crisis is the lax understanding of Jesus' rule and the true exceptions to that rule. when preachers and theologians and Bible teachers are sloppy in their explanations, average Christians develop fuzzy ideas about what is allowed and what is prohibited. Take, for instance, the desertion exception. Many people believe that divorce is allowed in the case of willful desertion. The Westminster Confession of Faith says as much in chapter 24, paragraph 6. But as theologian John Murray has rightly observed, the language of the Westminster Confession at that point is far too vague and unrestricted. Scripture is much more specific and precise. So even for confessional Presbyterians there can be a laxness that entertains exceptions that are so broad that almost any situation can qualify. But praise God that His Word is precise and restrictive. Today we want to depart from our normal study of the book of Matthew in order to take a brief detour to 1 Corinthians 7, in order to look at the topic of desertion and divorce. We will consider today first Paul's message to married believers. Then we will look at some scenarios, but what about this? What about that? And then we're going to close with some final observations on divorce. and remarriage. There is perhaps no single chapter more instructive on the topic of marriage than 1st Corinthians 7. Paul covers a wide array of topics connected with matrimony including some strong advice to married believers. In discussing the subject of marriage he addresses his comments to two different situations. First of all, he speaks to Christians married to Christians. And then he addresses a situation of a Christian who is married to a non-Christian, what you might call a mixed marriage. And we'll consider them in that order. In counseling a believer who is married to another believer Paul puts forth the basic biblical principle that should govern each and every marriage, namely, love your spouse. Do not deprive your spouse. Don't defraud your marriage partner, but instead love them. Unreservedly, let love govern all of your conduct all of your interaction. That leads us to the command that is related in verses 10 and 11. The wife should not leave her husband and the husband should not send his wife away. In other words, don't divorce your spouse and don't desert your spouse, but stay together and live in love for one another. If you have problems between the two of you, work through those problems in the power of Christ. Now realizing that Christians don't always do what they're supposed to do, Paul takes up the possibility that a Christian wife might leave her Christian husband. And in verse 11 Paul says, but if she does leave, let her remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. If you take that regrettable step of leaving your spouse, you as a Christian have two and only two options. Either you remain unmarried or else be reconciled to your spouse. Remarriage in such a situation would be sinful for the Christian and would only lead that Christian into adultery. So we see that Paul's rule is really Jesus' rule. Love your spouse. Don't divorce your spouse. Undoubtedly, Paul would have understood that Jesus' exception of the case of adultery would be a true exception to the general rule. So in weighing Paul's counsel to Christian couples, we see that neither desertion nor divorce are options for believers. To desert your Christian spouse is wrong. to divorce your Christian spouse is sinful. And the only exception you have is if your spouse has committed adultery against you. But if there's no adultery involved, then a Christian has no cause to desert or to divorce their spouse. Next Paul turns to the case of a Christian who is married to a non-Christian. And in the context of this passage and all of Paul's writings, indeed all of scripture, we know that we are not considering a situation where a believer has willfully and sinfully married an unbeliever. that is contrary to verse 39 of this passage where it says that you must marry only in the Lord. Instead we're talking about a situation where a married person is converted by God's grace but their spouse is not. Their marriage has become a mixed marriage by virtue of God's gracious salvation to the one spouse but not to the other. This passage would also apply to a situation where a Christian spouse renounces the faith while the other spouse remains faithful and does not. The apostate spouse wishes to remain married to that faithful believer and so it has become a mixed marriage through no fault of the believing spouse the question is this what is Paul's advice to a Christian who finds themselves in a mixed marriage well not surprisingly It has much in common with his advice to married believers. The Christian spouse in a mixed marriage has an obligation to love their unbelieving spouse and not to deprive nor to desert their unbelieving spouse. A Christian in such situations must not leave the non-Christian nor can they send the unbeliever away. I would even go so far as to say that the Christian must not make life miserable for the non-Christian. In other words, they may not subtly engineer a divorce or subtly force a desertion. But rather they are to be a good husband, a good wife to their unbelieving spouse. Show that spouse the love of Christ in a quiet, gentle, loving way. It is a powerful witness. 1 Peter even says that an unbelieving wife can see her husband converted if she will love him and submit to him and be a Christian in front of him. Even without words, he can be converted. And so that believer who's in the mixed marriage needs to be the best spouse possible and needs to show Christ-like love to that unbeliever. Moreover, the believing spouse should not be worried about being defiled through marriage to an unbeliever. The message of this passage is that God's grace overcomes the corruption of being married to an unbelieving spouse because through the believer that unbeliever is sanctified and their children are likewise accounted as holy. But in the event that the unbeliever does not want to stay, desires to leave, and makes motions to leave. What then? Well, Paul's advice is again very simple and very clear. Let them leave. A believer is not bound in such a situation. Let them leave. God has called us to live in peace. And so if an unbelieving spouse willfully deserts a believer and will not be reconciled, that believer should peacefully accept the departure and consider themselves free from obligation. In such a case, that believer may remarry without sin. provided that they marry only in the Lord." Now this is very plain and clear in our passage, but again, due to fuzzy teaching and imprecise thinking, many people have come to the conclusion that in any case involving any married person, if there is desertion, that the deserted spouse is free to remarry. But again, that's not what this text says. It is only in the case where a believer is deserted by their unbelieving spouse. Only then can marriage, remarriage take place. Well, it's not uncommon that thinking Christians will have other questions about marital issues. I want to deal with three frequent questions that are somewhat related to the topic that we are looking at. But what about? What about this? What about that? My first question is, but what about spousal abuse? What about a situation where a husband is brutalizing his wife and perhaps his children? What about that? Well, first of all, we would recognize that spousal abuse is a very serious problem which must be addressed. We may not turn a blind eye towards this. It should not be tolerated or ignored by the church. In a case where spousal abuse is going on, there may be situations where the immediate personal safety of one spouse requires a temporary departure from the presence of the abusive spouse. An enraged husband physically attacks his wife, threatens her life. Must she stay and quietly absorb his blows and die at his hands? I say no. Avoiding such physical abuse by a temporary departure from the premises may save her life. And self-preservation is not sinful, but it is actually one of the implications of the commandment, Thou shalt not murder. We are charged in that command to preserve our own life and the lives of others. And so when there's a spouse that is viciously attacking, even threatening with death, The saving of life is not wrong. Such self-preservation, I believe, is necessary. But there's another step that may also be taken, namely, to call the authorities. The Lord our God has ordained and established two authority structures to handle such situations. the ecclesiastical authority of the church and the civil authority of the state. Such physical abuse is a sin and a crime. God has charged husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. And he has told wives to love their husbands and submit to them. And abuse of that sort is not an expression of love. And so call your elders and call the police. Now that may seem extreme to some, but it's not wrong. God has provided for protection and accountability through the church and through the state. The civil magistrate has his proper role to protect and defend innocent life and to stop wrongdoers and evildoers. the church, the eldership has their role to address and confront sin and to encourage righteousness. Sins and crimes of these sorts must be confronted and it's important to let the authorities do the job that God has given them. Another problem that sometimes plagues marriages is a disagreeable or a disinterested spouse. In other words, one of those partners is not making life easy or enjoyable for the other. And you might wonder, what about a disinterested spouse? What about a disagreeable and cantankerous spouse? Whether it's through active hostility or through passive resistance, the marriage is really not what it should be or could be. It's not uncommon that believers can have secret regrets because their marriages can be such disappointments. Well, what should a believer do then? I would reply to you that with Christ there is always hope for healing a damaged marriage a bad marriage does not have to remain bad if Jesus Christ is really the Lord of that home the sovereign God who has saved your soul from hell is surely able to redeem a broken marriage is he not? If the concerned believer will begin to pray earnestly and if he will seek God's face, changes can come. When even one of the partners will repent of their specific sins and begin to behave in a more righteous fashion, difficulties can begin to wane. And I think this is where the church can come to the aid of her members. If married members are willing to be helped, and if they are ready for change in their lives and growth and grace, the church can minister effectively in difficult situations. And that might very well be in the form of very focused biblical counseling which would confront and address specific problems that are hurting the relationship. I want to tell you that help is available through the church. And so if you find yourself in a marriage that is difficult, if you find yourself distressed over your relationship with your husband or your wife, seek the help of God and God's people. And the church needs to be ready to say, yes, we will come alongside of you, we will step into your lives, and we will begin to offer the help and the hope that the Word of God can bring to your life. Do you really believe that the Holy Spirit has power to transform your broken marriage into a good, vibrant, solid relationship? Do you really believe that God is God? And that he cares about the relationship between a husband and a wife? Well, my final situation, my final, but what about, is this. But what about previous violations of biblical prohibition? Maybe as you're listening to this sermon, you're realizing that you have broken God's law in the past. Perhaps you have engaged in an unbiblical divorce and you have remarried contrary to the Word of God. You were ignorant at the time, but now you're realizing, that was wrong. I should not have done that. Can I be forgiven? Can I still go to heaven? Well, I want to assure you that the sin of divorce, and the sin of remarriage, and the sin of adultery, these are not unforgivable sins. If you are realizing that your past actions were not biblically warranted, and you realize you were in sin when you did that years ago, And if you understand that you have never realized your sin and you've never repented, then I would say go to God today in repentance and confess your sins to Him. He is faithful and He is just to forgive you your sins and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness. He won't cast you aside. If you come to Him in faith and Christ-like humility, He will receive you, and He will forgive you, and He will cleanse you, and He will help you. Those who carry around the guilt of a broken, failed marriage, an ugly divorce, and perhaps an adulterous remarriage can find forgiveness in the Savior Jesus Christ. Don't hesitate to come to Him today. Go to Him. You'll find Him ready and faithful. Well, in these three sermons on Jesus and divorce, we have covered some very crucial ground. And I hope that we have recaptured the biblical position on questions about marriage, divorce, and remarriage. I just want to summarize several of the observations that we have made, and hopefully this will crystallize these things in your mind. The first thing, the Bible is abundantly plain. on these subjects. The scriptures clearly and repeatedly teach that God created marriage to be a lifelong covenant commitment between one man and one woman till death parts them. The Bible also clearly states that God hates divorce and that what God has brought together let no man dare to separate. We've also seen in these studies that unjustified divorce and unjustified remarriage is a plague on a people and it creates all sorts of adulterous scenarios between divorced people and their subsequent spouses. But we've also recognized that two exceptions do exist. The first exception is a case of adultery. And the second exception is when an unbelieving spouse willfully deserts a believing spouse. In those and in only those situations, is a believer free to remarry if they choose. But if they remarry, it can only be in the Lord. Now again, this is plain. This is clear. But as Mark Twain wryly observed, it ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me. It's the parts that I do understand. You see, the Bible is plain on this. It's clear on this. It's not fuzzy. It's crystal clear. A second observation I would make is that while marriage is a good institution and it is important to the propagation of the race and to the building of society and to the subduing of the world to the glory of God. While it's very important and very good, it's also very hard. And if you're married, you know what I mean. Maintaining a good marriage relationship may very well be the most difficult and the most rewarding thing that you ever do in your life. You shouldn't be fooled by the idea that marriage is easy, simple, and always enjoyable. Oh, there's lots of struggle, but it is a worthwhile struggle. And through the grace of God, it is achievable. If we didn't have the grace of God, where would we be? If we didn't have the help of the Holy Spirit, how could we live even one day with our spouse? but where the grace of God is operative and where the Spirit of God is working, there is not only hope, but there is victory over sin. And we must have confidence in that fact. We should not be overwhelmed and intimidated by the difficulty of the task. Because we have a great God who works powerfully. Finally, I want you to know that I have another sermon series that I have preached on covenant family life. And I want you to hear those sermons because in those sermons we go into these and other related topics in a much deeper way. And so look for those sermons on covenant family life as they will fill in the gaps and add to your understanding so that your family can be pleasing in God's sight and that you can enjoy God's richest blessings. Let's pray. O Lord our God, we thank you for the good gift of marriage, this glorious institution that you have given to mankind. We thank you for how plain and clear your word is about these subjects, and we pray that you would bless that word to our understanding as we have heard it in these three sermons. O Lord, work in our marriages. Help us to love our spouses. Help us to build up our husbands and our wives. Help us to be godly towards one another. And we pray that you would bless us and help us through times of difficulty and distress. For we pray it in the powerful name of Jesus. Amen.