We've got to learn here is that we've got to learn to submit to the Holy Spirit rather than open our mouth and run off at our mouth and say hurtful and hateful things to each other. Amen? Now, I understand there are things that people do that are horrible. But, you know, receive the grace of God, folks. Forgive. Get emotionally free. Now, you know, there may be a person that's just meaner than all get out. And you really can't be around them. But you don't have to let them control you. Amen. Every time they come up, I'm going to turn them over to God. So that and you know, and after a while, I don't have to think about that. And you know, anytime it comes up, it's going to turn them over to God, turn them over to God, turn them over to God, turn them over to God. You know what's going to happen? God will deal with that. He's promised to. You say, really? Well, what about in the meantime? I want them to get theirs. Then you've not forgiven them. then you've not forgiven. You know, I want God to, you know, I want God to burn our house. I want God to do this. I want God to do that. I want God to do something else. Listen, turn them over to God and let Him do what He wants to do. Everybody who that's in our counseling program, we, years ago, now, so that you all understand, and I know some of the younger folks maybe have never even heard of this. But we used to record messages on cassette tape. Y'all remember that? Any of you? Yeah? Okay. I have a series called The Life of Joseph. Now if there's anybody in this world that was hurt, it was Joseph. Do you know that Joseph was 17 years old? when his brothers, jealous of him, threw him into a pit, thought about killing him. And you know what else? Thought about killing him, then sold him into slavery. There's only two people in the Bible that nothing negatively is said about, and it's Joseph and Daniel. And one of the things that we would really need to understand is to study the life of Joseph and see how he handled it. And 22 years later, God put him in the place over his brothers. And he could have had them killed. And Mama didn't raise no fool, though, because Joseph wanted to give them a test to see if they'd really repented or not. But it is a fantastic series on the life of Joseph and how you deal with hurt. So everybody that comes to our counseling program gets to listen to the life of Joseph and write down 30 things that they learned or thought was important on forgiveness. And Joseph's life, you know, hey, it was, and then again, he was imprisoned falsely. And so Joseph's life wasn't a total picnic here, but he learned to trust God. And it took God 22 years to bring his brothers to repentance. Okay? But you know what Joseph was doing in the meantime? He was focused on moving forward in his life. Amen? Got it? Then it came down to it, and Joseph wanted to make sure that they had truly repented, so he put a test in their life. But I would encourage you, if you're thinking about and you're struggling with, you know, the lack of forgiveness in your life, to get on that website and listen to the life of Joseph. Write down 30 things that you learned from each message or thought was important, and you're going to find that it will dramatically help you with how you're going to view other people. Joseph forgave his brothers, okay? But it took 22 years for God to bring them to repentance. 22 years! Now, don't let people control your life. Receive the grace of God. Forgive. Get emotionally free. And this is the time you must take control of your dark side, rather than letting your dark side control you, your old nature. Immediately ask God to forgive you this sin. Turn the situation over to God. Then look at these verses. Romans 12, back there now. Look at verse 14. Notice what the Bible says. Romans chapter 12, verse 14 says this. Bless them which persecute you. Bless and curse not. Turn back to Ephesians chapter 4 and look at verse 29. Ephesians chapter 4 and verse 29. It's kind of interesting. Here, the way that this is worded. Look at verse 29. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying." Building up. What part of no do we have a problem with? Do you notice what the first word in that verse is? Let means somebody's got to do what? Make a decision. So, let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, building up. Now, ladies, are you thinking about how you can be an encouragement to your husband? In fact, I would encourage you every day to ask God, how can I encourage my husband today? On the other side, guys, are you asking God how you can encourage your wife today? Now we're getting right down where the rubber meets the road, right down where we live. You know, two people get married and they start going apart, you know, because after about two to three years, you know, we're not infatuated anymore. We're focused on ourselves and what we want and how we're going to do it. And the people we get to talk to, you know, they don't want to even sit down with each other on a couch. And they profess to be Christians. Now I'm trying to get across to you here so that I'm going to have to make my Christianity real in my life by focusing on asking God how can I encourage her today? Or asking God how I can encourage him today? Do you know what God's going to do? He's going to show you, go buy her a rock. You know? And it'll cost you $150, you know what I mean? Some of you heard that the other night. But you know what? It was worth it because she was greatly encouraged. Gentlemen, learn your wife. Now if I sit, you know, and I ask people in marriage counseling this, and I, generally it's interesting because I'll ask the husband, if you could do one thing for your wife, what would you do? And they can sit there and look at me like, What do you mean? Well, just what I said. If you do one thing for your wife, what would you do? And you know, it's generally, if I say to the wife, what do you think you could do for your husband? If you ask God, what do you think this would be? And they say, I would be kinder. That's nine times out of ten, that's the answer. I would be kinder. And you know what my answer to that is? Then do it. Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, hath forgiven you. Kind. Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, hath forgiven you. You know, using the words, you always do that and you never do this. And never and always are always an exaggeration. Forgiveness doesn't mean I'm dumb. Now look at the next verse. All right, let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good is edifying or building up, that it may minister grace or divine help unto the hearers. Look at verse 30. And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby you're sealed unto the day of redemption. So I can grieve the Holy Spirit by how I am responding to my husband or how I'm responding to my wife. I can grieve the Holy Spirit by how I'm responding. Now, notice verse 31, it says, "...let all bitterness and wrath..." Wrath is anger with a strong desire to avenge and anger. Clamor, that means public quarreling. By the way, if you have children in your home and you two are barking at one another, for lack of better terms, Is that public quarreling? Yes, because your children here. Years ago, I went to a home of a family that attended our church. The wife came regularly. And at church, sweet spirit. Had three children, two girls and a boy. The boy was the youngest at that time. And so I was driving downtown and they'd have been on the outside of town, right on the edge of town. And God said I needed to stop by there. So I turned around and came back and went. And I was I'm walking up to the house, I'm hearing all kinds of stuff go on. Now, you know, when God, you know, if you're sensitive to the Holy Spirit, and, you know, you get to walk in on stuff, you know what I mean? And so I knock on the door. Twelve-year-old boy comes to the door and he looks at me and he says, Pastor, I wish they would just quit. I wish they would just quit, Pastor. So I walked in and I'm hearing and So the husband's on the phone, and she's yelling through the phone. And so he looks at me, he says, see what I got to deal with? I said, here, listen. See what I got to deal with? He muted her and, you know, nothing. So I got it. I heard language that I haven't heard, you know, for a long time. And so, and I called her by name. And there's silence. And then she says, Oh, pastor, how are you today? And I said, I'm doing fine, but it doesn't sound like you're doing well today. I want you to understand that both of them professed to be saved. He didn't come to church that much because he thought he was a professional golfer. But I want you to understand that those three children That boy who's told me that he wished that they would stop, serve time in prison for drug running. Other girl pregnant out of wedlock, another girl became a lady of the evening. Don't tell me that being an unforgiving person and being a spirit controlled person is going, that you can live your life being a non-spirit controlled person and being a non-forgiving person and think everything is going to work out okay. It's not. You hear me? There's a lot of young couples in here. You need to realize that you need to be spirit controlled people. You need to realize that you need to be praying every day. How can I encourage my spouse? You need to ask God to show you how you can do that. Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God from Christ's sake hath forgiven you. You know, the Bible says forgiveness doesn't mean I'm dumb. It means I will give this person or situation to God, pastor. That's what it means. It doesn't mean I'm dumb. It means I'm going to give this person or this situation to God. I will enjoy my life. I will enjoy my relationship with God and others while God deals with them. I will be kind, not angry. I'll be emotionally free. I will live by faith. And if you turn the person over to God and continue to turn them over to God every time they come up, you're living by faith. And Romans 12 says, Rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing instant in prayer, pray for your enemies, pray for people who hurt you, bless them, be careful that you don't talk evil about them and other people. They may be evil, but your goal here is to have forgiveness in your life and to be emotionally free. Amen? I didn't hear too many amens. Yes? And when you turn them over to God, you don't have to talk evil about them. Why? Because you do not spend your time thinking evil about them. And because you've asked God for His forgiveness and turned them over to Him, faith means just like when I got saved, I trusted Jesus Christ by faith to save me. I will now trust Him to deal with the hurts of my life this way. And I will trust Him with the details of my life rather than trying to get back at people. I will trust him to deal with them. He will do a lot better job of taking care of them than I will. I use an illustration of, and I think I did this the other night, but I'm going to do it again because there may be people who didn't see it. I use this illustration with our counselees. I want you to picture in your mind three circles. Okay? Picture that in your mind. By the way, you know, I do have that board. It comes with me for free and doesn't take up a spot on the airplane or nothing. Okay, here's God. Right here. Here is you. Here is them that hurt you. Who's in the middle between you and God? I mean, who's in the middle here? You are. Okay, so listen to me carefully. I've got to get emotionally free. So I'm going to turn them over to God. I'm going to ask God for forgiveness for anything that might be in my heart toward them. And if it's bitterness, I ask God to forgive me for that bitterness. I ask him to take it out of my heart. And then I'm going to move over here and I'm going to get emotionally free. And every time they come up, I want to turn them over to God. Now, look who's here right now, God and them. And you know what? God now has direct access to them because you're out of the way. You're emotionally free. Are you with me? You understand? I have to learn to practice it. I have to learn to make it real in my life. By submitting yourself to God and forgiving them, you move over on the right hand side of God and you're not in the middle anymore, thus I'm emotionally free and God can now deal with them and you will now be free in your life in forgiveness. His forgiveness and His power. You can now have the power of the Holy Spirit to work in your life when you're emotionally free of your hurts. And notice what God says about this, and we're going to be done. God will take care of it. He said, so if you will live a life of forgiveness and a life of being emotionally free, instead of a life of unforgiveness, anger and bitterness and rage, being emotionally out of control. Turn back to Romans 12. Look at verse 17. Romans chapter 12, verse 17. Here is freedom and forgiveness. Look at verse 17. Now watch. Recompense to no man, evil for what? Okay? Look at verse 17. Here's freedom and forgiveness. Notice this. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. You're going to have to be honest with God. You're going to have to be honest with your wife. You're going to have to be honest with your husband. You're going to have to be honest in everything you're involved in. Look at verse 18. If it be possible as much as life in you, live peaceably with all men. Okay? Verse 19, Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath. And notice, give place unto wrath. Wrath means anger with a strong desire to avenge. Give your desire to avenge over to God. Why? Look at verse 19. Now watch it. For it is written, notice what it says, For it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord. Vengeance is mine. And so when you think that you can take vengeance on somebody else and not forgive them, you're taking the place of God. You're taking the place of God. He doesn't care for that. Vengeance is mine. I will repay, saith the Lord. If you're seeking your own vengeance, you're seeking to take the place of God. Now, folks, verse 20 says, Therefore if thy enemy hunger, feed him. If he thirst, give him drink. For in doing so thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. And the last thing in verse 21, Be not overcome with evil, but overcome evil with what? Good. If you cannot forgive people, you will be overcome by evil. It will haunt you and you'll have a miserable life. Forgiveness is not always an easy thing. You might be in a difficult situation with your marriage or others. You may have to work through great hurt one step at a time. But remember to ask God to show you anything that's in your heart in this matter. Always seek His forgiveness so you can forgive others. Always seek His forgiveness so you can forgive others. And remember, forgiveness does not mean that you put yourself in danger. You can forgive without putting yourself in a position where you're physically abused, emotionally abused, or being threatened with physical harm. Now, Romans 15, 13 says, He is the God of hope. He is the God of hope. And I want to say this to you as the last thing I'm going to say. I want you to hear me. You can have real joy and peace and abound in hope. You can have real joy and peace and abound in hope. However, that only comes if you're willing to submit yourself to God and allow the Holy Spirit's power to work in your life. It all starts with forgiveness. It does not mean the other person or situation may change immediately. It might take time or it may even take a long time and you may not need to be around to see it. And you might need to be out of the way, but do not live in bondage to people who like to hurt other people. Do not let them control your life. James 4, 7, submit yourselves therefore to God. Immediately resist the devil and he'll flee from you. At the point of spiritual impact, verbally tell God you want to submit yourself to him and to turn the incorrect thoughts over to him. It's called living by faith and being a spirit controlled person rather than a stressed out person. Now I'm going to ask you a question. Two. Are you sitting here tonight with unforgiveness in your heart toward a person or a situation? I don't know any of you. And pastor has not told me how bad anybody is. or what anybody's doing or anything like that, okay? I don't know anything other than just what I've seen here. What I want to ask you is this, do you have unforgiveness in your heart towards someone? It means you're out of fellowship with God. My next question is this, have you gone days without spending meaningful time in God's Word? Remember, the Holy Spirit wants to teach you, He wants to help you. You're going to have to be in fellowship with God to be taught. Ask Him to search your heart, deal with your sin. Now folks, forgiveness is a big deal. Look, it doesn't mean that every person is going to, you know, that we're going to have a relationship with somebody because of their wickedness and their sin, but it means I'm not going to let them control me. And I'm going to turn them over to God. And He'll do a better job of it than I'll ever come close to. Let's stand together. Our heads are bowed and our eyes are closed. You want to have the penis to come now? Your heads are bowed and eyes are closed.