All right, good evening. Well, you know, we get into a church and we get started and then, you know, it's over. And so we want to end on a good note tonight. And just a few things that I want to bring up. We want to thank all of you for your kindness to us. And, you know, we've ate really well and appreciate that. We appreciate being able to have the vehicle and the place to stay and all of that. So all your kindness and notes and all that. We're thankful for everything. Thank you so much. And thank Pastor and Lori for their kindness to us. And say again, honey, what? The rocks. Yes, I had it here down on my notes. I think we'll get to that. All right. You know, I wrote it down just because you told me to, you know, so. Yes, Kim wants me to thank everyone for the rocks. And so everyone's been giving her rocks and you know, this will be more for her rock case at home, you know. And so, thank you so much for that. We have a few books left on the book table. Now, we don't want to take any home, okay? So, you know, stop out there and seek him after the service and we trust that we won't have to take any back. There's just a handful of them left, and they're all good. They'll be a great blessing to you, and we encourage you. You can pass them out and give them to other people, you know, and, you know, make sure you read them yourself before you give them to them, though, you know, so that would be good. And so tonight, what we wanted, we're going to do is we have mentioned to you that there's at least 82 different lusts that a Christian can have in their life. Some of those are going to be our demand lusts. And so, we have copied, it's the, this comes out of our training conference and it says, getting specific, my needs for change. Gives you instructions and there's the 82 different lusts. and you can pick this up on the book table tonight. They're all on the corner there and go by and pick one up for yourself. If there's more that's needed, we can make more copies of it here before we leave. So anyway, we're going to provide that for you and it does have instructions at the top. What we tell our counselees is that do not do this in one setting. Okay, because the first, do it in two or three. Because it's, there are words here that are gonna, you're gonna have to look up, okay? And if you're, you know, don't, don't hurry through this. If you don't understand what a word means, look it up. and be honest because this is about you evaluating yourself and it's not what Pastor thinks, it's not what Lori thinks, it's not what others think, it's what you really know about you. So there's no reason, you can't fake it till you make it, okay? And so the reality here is that this is for your benefit to determine what demand lusts that you might have in your life. I, you know, I have a counselee today that I'm working with. You know, given what his particular scenarios are, he had numerous. And, but his life shows that. And so, we're going to have to pick those off one at a time. Normally, people have at least three, demand less in their life. You know, I had one guy ask me one time, what happens if I've got everything on the list? And I said, then you got a mess of a life, brother. That's what the problem is. So anyway, this is available to you, and we encourage you to pick it up this evening. And if you need more, we'll be glad to get those. I do want to encourage you on the YouTube channel, if you're interested in a multiplicity of different subjects. I had a phone call this morning from a missionary on the other part of the world that was struggling with some things in his life. And so, you know, there's, we can always, you can always look on the YouTube channel and see if there's a subject up there that will affect your life. And there's at least 100 of them up there on different subjects. And so we encourage you to, and we add We generally add one every other week or something like that, you know, maybe once, twice a month, and we still have, we have a whole lot more that we can add, but we don't want to burden people down too much. But also, and then there is the sermon audio section on the website. And it has 332 messages up on different subjects that are all counseling subjects. And then we also have the article section that, you know, you can sign up for that on the book table out there. Now, let me ask you a question tonight as we begin. And it's a serious question. So I was praying about what to end this with. I wanted to hit something that the Lord spoke to my heart about. So there's obviously somebody here who needs it. Do you have anyone in your life that you need to forgive? Do you have anyone in your life that you need to forgive? Now, I want you to hear me very carefully tonight because, you know, some people are living in bondage to others. And so the title of tonight's message is this. There's absolutely no way I will forgive them for what they have done to me. There's absolutely no way I will forgive them for what they have done to me. Let's turn to Romans chapter 12 and let's stand together as we read out of respect to God and His Word. There's absolutely no way I'll forgive them for what they have done to me. Do you have anyone in your life you need to forgive? Do you have anyone in your life that you need to forgive? Romans chapter 12 and verse 17 says, Romans 12, 17, recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves. but rather give place unto wrath. For it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore, if thine enemy hunger, feed him. If he thirst, give him drink. For in so doing, thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. Let's go to the Lord in prayer. Our kind and gracious Heavenly Father, we thank you for the opportunity that we have to present your word this evening. I want to submit myself to the Holy Spirit right now, and I need your help tonight. I pray God if there's a person here tonight who's unsaved, Lord, that they might come to a saving knowledge of you this evening. Father, if there's people that are out of fellowship with you tonight, that they may have their fellowship restored. If there's someone here tonight, Lord, that needs to forgive someone. I pray, God, that you will just help us tonight to understand that process. And I pray that the Holy Spirit will be our teacher on that. And I pray for your help. I pray for your wisdom. I pray for your guidance. I pray for your direction. I pray that you'll meet with us now. The Holy Spirit will be our teacher. In Jesus' name, amen. Thank you. You may be seated. Forgiveness. I think I have lost count how many times I've heard, there's absolutely no way I will forgive them for what they have done to me. Today we're going to cover an important subject that so many Christians struggle with and it's forgiveness. Many people make a mess out of their lives because of lack of forgiveness. This is a subject that is one of the hardest to deal with when you have a counselee who's really been hurt. Now, I was reminded of this recently as I was dealing with a person regarding forgiveness and thought about another situation some years back. Today, every man and woman will give an account of themselves to God. Every person is going to give an account of themselves to God. And today there is so much strife in the church and home because of saved people who are out of fellowship with God, who are not spirit-controlled people, people who live in strife and are angry people. Many times they are having and producing strife in their lives because they are angry, because of a hurt in their life from another person or situation. They've never learned to forgive. Now I want you to turn back to Proverbs chapter 15 and look at verse 18. This will do a little Bible turning here this evening. Proverbs chapter 15 and I want you to look at verse 18 with me. Proverbs 15, Proverbs 15, 18, and the Bible says, a wrathful man stirreth up strife, but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife. Wrath is anger with a strong desire to avenge, to get back at somebody. Every person will give account of themselves to God in this matter. Now let me encourage you to realize this. We should always do right before God, no matter what anyone else does. And we do not have to compromise our life because someone else does. People come into marriage with preconceived ideas. They think it will be lollipops and rainbows all the time. And a good marriage is worked at, it just doesn't happen. And I know that many say your choices will determine what happens, and your character is important. I agree with that, but I want to add this to it. Ephesians 5 describes a true biblical marriage as two saved, spirit-controlled people. Two saved, spirit-controlled people. And if you are out of fellowship with God, and not a spirit-controlled person, you will fail, and especially in making decisions. Your character will be formed, listen to me carefully, even in rearing your children. Your character will be formed by your spirit-controlled life, not by just focusing on trying to do right in the flesh. I want to say it again. Your character will be formed by your spirit-controlled life, not by just focusing on trying to do right in the flesh or to have good character in the flesh. Therefore, it's especially important that we teach our children what it means and how to be a spirit-controlled person before they leave our home. Now, folks, we are powerless when we're divided. And we're powerless when we hold a grudge against other people. We are powerless when we're angry at God and divided from Him. And let me encourage you to learn to submit yourself to God and live beyond your feelings. I want to say it again. I want to encourage you to submit yourself to God and live beyond your feelings. And be focused on forgiveness in your life rather than bitterness. Be focused on forgiveness in your life rather than bitterness. Be the person who is encouraging your spouse or others. Help them. Pray for them. And you cannot do that if you have unforgiveness in your heart. Now I want you to turn back to James chapter 5 and look at verse 9. you tell each other that you're sorry. We're going to forgive each other." I said, go on, shake hands and say you're sorry. I said, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're going to do this right. And finally they said, okay, pastor, I'm sorry. I said, good. I'm glad to hear you say you're sorry. I'm glad to hear you say what? You're sorry. And I want to ask for your forgiveness. Now, you know what, folks? My answer is, you will need to get right with each other and seek God's forgiveness and each other's forgiveness. This bitter, poor behavior makes you both out of fellowship with God. God is faithful and just. You know, if you look back at 1 John 1, okay? Look back here with me and notice what God says. 1 John 1. 1 John 1. And notice what it says here in verse 6. If we say that we have fellowship with Him and walk in darkness, we lie and do not the truth. In essence, we're not practicing the truth in our life. Verse 9 says if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Now, God is faithful and just to forgive us. Amen? And He's faithful and just to forgive us when we sin and confess our sins to Him. But folks, I want you to understand, it's very important in verse 6 to have fellowship with God. Now, if we do not forgive because you don't think it's fair, then you'll have an ugly spirit and hurt others. Hurting people hurt others. Did you hear me? Hurting people hurt others. Is there anything between you and another person? Now, I can't answer for them, but I can answer for me. Amen? And if so, who are you angry at? And you ever ask yourself that question? It's easy to justify a wrong spirit because you are convinced what they did was not fair. You may be right that it wasn't fair, but God wants us to live above that, above our emotions and not for them. Did you hear me? Yes? God wants us to live above our emotions and not for them. And not live our life in anger, hurt, and a not fair mentality. It's a selfish, carnal mentality. Romans 12 has some exceptionally good admonishment about forgiveness. Turn back to Romans 12 now with me if you would, where we started reading this evening. And I want to show you something. Romans chapter 12 and verse 9 says this. Notice what it says, and I'm going to break it down for you. Let love be without dissimulation. Verse 9. Abhor that which is evil and cleave to that which is good. Now, let love be without dissimulation. And notice what it says in verse 10. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love in honor of preferring one another. Now, you know, Dissimulation here is a very interesting word. It means concealment of one's thoughts, feelings, or character, a pretense. I want to say that again. It says, discernment here means concealment of one's thoughts, feelings, or character, a pretense. Now, if I can love people with the right heart, then it's not dissimulation. In essence, I say I love them, but I'm concealing my thoughts of anger, wrath, gossip, and hatred about them. You do not tell someone you love them, and when they walk away, say something cutting about them. It's a heart issue then. Did you see the word lead at the start of this verse? Means somebody's got to do what, folks? Make a decision. It means someone must make a decision. And did you notice loving one another in honor, preferring one another is a decision you've got to make. Forgiveness is a decision you make as well. You say, well, they've never asked me to forgive them. Well, otherwise, you're going to hold a grudge, and you know what's going to happen? You're going to be out of fellowship with God. You're going to have to recognize, hey, they may not be willing to make it right, but you need to make it right yourself with God. Amen? Yes? Yes? You say, well, you don't know what they did. You know what? I've been around a long time with this business. And I've seen people have their lives destroyed because they would not turn somebody else over to God. You all with me? I've seen them have their lives destroyed because they would not turn somebody else over to God. Now, you know, it means someone must make a decision here. And did you notice loving one another? Now watch what the Bible says. Loving one another in honor, preferring one another is a decision you have to make. Forgiveness is a decision you make as well. Think about how we mess up our lives by unforgiveness. Amen? Romans 12 is about serving the Lord. And if I want to serve the Lord, I'm going to have to be focused in my home. You know, I can't have something between me and my wife. I know, I'm going from preaching to meddling right now. I can't have something between me and my wife. I can't have something between me and others. But you know what? Romans 12 is about serving the Lord, but it also lets us know if you desire to walk with God and put yourself out there to serve. Now listen to me carefully. If you're going to put yourself out there to serve and deal with people, you're going to get hurt. Did you hear me? If you put yourself out there to serve and deal with people, you're going to get hurt. It tells us here how to deal with hurt. Pride makes us angry and bitter. And when we have either perceived hurts or real hurts. Now, by the way, there are some people that are out of fellowship with God because they've got perceived hurts. They think that somebody else did this. Now, others, we know they did. But we have either perceived hurts or real hurts. How dare he or she? Or they do this to me. What do you do with them at this point is especially important. Now look at Romans chapter 12 and verse 3. Notice what it says. It says in verse 3, Now, did you see the phrase in here? Austin, see that where it says, not to think more highly of himself than we ought to think. See it? Everybody see that? Not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought to think. Do you see it? Yes? Pride makes us angry and bitter. And the Bible here says, "...but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith." Now, I'm going to ask you to keep your finger here and turn back to Proverbs 16. Proverbs 16. And I want you to look at verse 17. Proverbs 16 and verse 17. The highway of the upright is to depart from evil, but he that keepeth his way preserveth his soul. Pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before fall. Better it is to be of a humble spirit with the lowly than to divide the spoil with the proud. He that handles the matter wisely shall find good, and whosoever trusteth in the Lord, happy is he. In any relationship, know that there are days I'm going to get hurt or perceive that I've gotten hurt. Folks, the people around you have a fallen nature. We have an old nature. You know, it'd been great when we got saved that God had taken away our old nature, but he didn't. Every person in this room, none of us are perfect. I read where someone said, perfect has not shown up yet, but when it does, it'll be Jesus Christ. Amen, I like that. Perfect has not shown up yet, but when it does, it'll be Jesus Christ. So nobody in this room is perfect. And if you expect perfection out of people, you'll live a life of defeat, discouragement, despair, hatred, and unforgiveness. How can you tell that you're living in unforgiveness? What do you think about when someone says their name? The person that hurts you or says something nice about them. Or do you think, well, you don't know them, okay? You don't know the real them. Now, or you say something good about them, then there is this dreaded word, but. Well, you know, they did this or this, seeking to put them down or gossip about them. Have you ever noticed there are sadly many people who will gossip and say hateful and hurtful things about others, but have never spoken to them about the situation they're speaking about? Now I can tell you I've got a big problem with that. The church today is filled with gossip. People saying things that they don't know the whole story. And one of the things that I've always told people in our churches is, have you talked to them? And if someone says, no, I haven't talked to them, then don't talk to me because you don't know the real story yet. Amen? Now, so do you know that the Bible is pretty plain about this? Proverbs 18.13, He that answereth the matter before he heareth it, its folly and shame unto him. He that answereth the matter before he heareth it, its folly and shame unto him. There's a lot of folly and shame going on. And then I've had people say this. Well, I know the brother or I know the sister and they're good people and I know they wouldn't tell me something. Now, have you talked to that person? He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it's folly and shame unto him.