Our text this morning comes from Matthew 5, verses 31 and 32. It was said, whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Let's pray and ask God's blessing upon His Word. O Lord, we come to the words of our Savior, and as we seek to understand His meaning and to apply it in our lives, we ask that You would grant Your Spirit in great measure that we would know the truth and be set free to live by it. For we pray in Jesus' name, amen. Last week we began a mini-series on the delicate topic of divorce. We looked at Old Testament passages and principles about divorce. And I don't doubt that last week's sermon created as many questions as it answered. There are scores of scenarios connected with divorce, and I hope to cover many of these before we move on in the text. So by following an orderly progression I want to present to you the overall biblical perspective on divorce and related topics. Today we're going to look into the New Testament giving careful attention to Matthew 5 verse 32 and its parallels. We will be considering Jesus' rule concerning divorce and remarriage, as well as Jesus' stated exception to the general rule. But before we dive into these passages, let me remind you of a crucial point. What we are about to look at are the inspired, inerrant words of Christ. He spoke these words. which the apostles, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, accurately and faithfully wrote down in the New Testament. These are red-letter passages, so to speak. Moreover, there is no debate over the authenticity of these verses. Scholars do not dispute their accuracy, even though they may differ in interpretation. So as you listen, and as we look at these texts together, please remember that these are the very words of your Savior, Jesus Christ. Your church and your pastor are not making this up. It's not simply my private opinion or our public position. No, these are the authoritative declarations of the Son of God Himself. So let's move forward. First, understanding Jesus' rule. Then, considering Jesus' exception. And finally, applying these truths to the 21st century. When we look at Matthew 5 verse 32, we find these words. But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife except for the reason of unchastity makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Now, later in the book of Matthew, we will find an expanded treatment of this topic and a restatement of Jesus' words in Matthew 5. When we turn to Matthew 19 verse 9, we find the following and I say to you whoever divorces his wife except for immorality and marries another woman commits adultery the other Gospels contain very similar statements Mark chapter 10 verses 11 and 12 and he said to them whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man she is committing adultery and then in Luke's account in chapter 16 verse 18 we read everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery And he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery. The one parallel passage which is not found in the Synoptic Gospels comes to us in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 verses 10 and 11 where Paul writes, But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband. But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And that the husband should not divorce his wife. Now the first thing we realize about these passages is that they are true parallels. They cover the same subject matter in the same words and with almost identical emphasis. And yet we would also recognize that there are some small differences that tend to bring out the various facets of Jesus' general rule. Before we look at each one of them individually, I want to look at what they all have in common. Each of these statements contains an overarching principle or a general rule for married people. Now, you might say that the audience married folk. Marriage is presupposed in these passages. Though in other places Paul and Christ both speak to single people, here they are directing their instruction to the married. Notice that they all have an inclusive emphasis and what I mean by that is that they use the words everywhere and whoever. So this is not a narrowly focused bit of advice to a small subset of the married population. But rather this is true for anyone who is married and for everyone who is married. This is truly a general rule given to all and about all. It covers every case. Notice also that all five of those passages deal simultaneously with the topics of divorce and remarriage. These two things are tightly bound together. They are not dealt with separately or abstractly, but they come bundled as a package. Each of the statements that I read give us a three-step progression. The first step in the progression is the divorce. The second step is a remarriage. And then the third and final step in each is the committing of adultery. Now before I say anything more about this, let me state clearly that there is an exception. The exception is the case of sexual immorality or marital infidelity. I'm going to deal with the adultery exception in my second point of this sermon, but in order to understand the exception, I think you must understand the general rule apart from the exception. It's really only within the context of the general principle that the exception makes any sense whatsoever. So in order to deal with one, you must first understand the other. Now the first passage that I read is our text, Matthew 5, 32. But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery. and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery now in that verse Jesus says that everyone who divorces his wife for any reason except unchastity makes her commit adultery and that whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery for clarity's sake let me read to you the rule without the exception clause. Everyone who divorces his wife makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. That general rule is what we get in Mark 10 and Luke 16. So you need to understand really the general principle that whoever divorces his wife makes her commit adultery and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery that means that an unbiblical divorce followed by an unbiblical remarriage produces two consequences first of all It makes the divorced wife become an adulteress if and when she remarries. Second, it makes her new husband an adulterer. When the divorced woman and her new husband consummate their new marriage, it is an act of adultery on both of their parts. Now you say, why is that? Well, it's because the divorce was not valid. It was not biblically justified. And so the first marriage remains binding upon the divorced woman. She actually remains the wife of her original husband. Her new husband is taking another man's wife. Hence Jesus prohibits the unbiblically divorced woman to remarry. And he prohibits any man from marrying her. For them to remarry, in that case, leads to the sin of adultery. But notice who is really guilty of creating these sinful conditions. It is the husband, the original husband, who unbiblically divorced his wife. He makes her commit adultery, Jesus says. The guilt goes to his account. She may commit the act, but he caused it by unbiblically divorcing his wife. The second passage the one from Matthew 19 focuses on a somewhat different issue I say to you whoever divorces his wife except for immorality and marries another woman commits adultery now Jesus is focusing on that original husband who divorced his wife and now that original husband goes and marries another woman and by doing this That man, the original husband, is now committing adultery with his new wife in his second marriage. So when a man divorces his wife, he can involve potentially four people in the sin of adultery. He himself with his new wife, his second wife. as well as his original wife and her new husband. All four of them become guilty of committing adultery because of his unwarranted act in divorcing his first wife. And there is a sense in which he is guilty of causing this widespread adultery to go on. Now this is emphasized clearly in both Mark and Luke's parallel verses. And yet Mark contributes one other important insight, namely that this principle is equally true for a woman as for a man. In Mark 10 verse 11, Jesus addresses his rule to the man who divorces his wife and marries another woman. He commits adultery against his first wife. But then verse 12 puts the shoe on the feminine foot. If she divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery. And so what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Luke's account gives us yet another wrinkle. that he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery and Luke puts the emphasis upon an unmarried man who stumbles across an unbiblically divorced woman and he decides to marry her he then becomes guilty of adultery also if he chooses to marry an unbiblically divorced woman And so in these synoptic accounts, we're looking at the same situation from a variety of different perspectives, focusing on different people, focusing on the original husband and his sin, focusing on the original wife and her sin, focusing on the new husband and the new wife and their sins in this matter. This all leads to Paul's very practical summary of Jesus' rule and to his pastoral encouragements to Christian people. He says basically this, if you're married, don't leave your spouse. If you do leave your spouse, you must either remain unmarried or else be reconciled to your spouse. remain unmarried or be reconciled those are your choices and this rule applies to men and to women basically do not divorce therefore I think we can state Jesus general rule as follows married people must not divorce their spouses and then remarry new spouses To do so can cause everyone involved to commit adultery. Instead of that, work through your differences and be reconciled to one another so that you may live in harmony and peace with your spouse as the Lord your God intends. I like how John Calvin put it when he says, quarrels and differences Do not dissolve a marriage. Oh yes, they're difficult. The friction is hard to handle. It's not easy to work through a difference of opinion or to settle a quarrel with your husband or your wife. No one said it's easy, but it's not impossible. When the Holy Spirit is involved, when Christ is active, when His Word is appreciated, quarrels and differences can be resolved and the relationship which is threatening to rupture can actually be reconciled and a tighter and closer bond can be created. You are never beyond hope as long as God is God and as long as you are alive on this earth. So with the general rule in mind, We next move to Jesus' exception. Let me emphasize that this is a legitimate exception to the rule. You know, exceptions are really interesting things. Rather than negating the rule or overthrowing the general principle, an exception truly serves to establish the rule. the rule as they say. Well how can that be? Well an exception by its very nature testifies to the fact that there is a rule to the contrary. Exceptions presuppose that the rule says otherwise. But here is a case where the rule doesn't apply. I would tell you that if there is no rule then there can be no such thing as an exception. An exception only makes sense if there's a rule. And so, where there is an exception, there must be a rule. The exception is stated in both of the citations in Matthew's Gospel. In Matthew 5.32, everyone who divorces his wife except for the reason of marital unchastity. And then in Matthew 19 verse 9, whoever divorces his wife except for immorality. You see, the fact is that Jesus repeatedly states the exception. The fact that neither Mark nor Luke record the exception do not invalidate Matthew. Matthew gives us the fullest rendering of the account, including both the rule and the exception. Mark and Luke give us a summary statement with only the rule. But because they do not state the exception doesn't mean that the exception doesn't exist. It just means that they did not record it. They were focusing on the rule. We don't want to begin thinking that Luke and Mark are lining up against Matthew. That's not true. They all agree. You might also notice the agreement between the two verses that we read in Matthew 5.32 and 19.19 Both give us the same exception. The behavior is pornea, fornication, sexual immorality, marital unfaithfulness, a sexual act with a person other than your spouse. In a single word, adultery. For it is, in fact, the sexual infidelity that act of sexual immorality that breaks the marriage covenant, that dissolves the bond between husband and wife. Divorce in such a situation does not break the marriage bond because the marriage bond was already broken by the immoral act that was involved. Divorce simply, legally, and formally recognizes what the adultery had accomplished, namely the breaking of the covenant, the shattering of the unity, and the loosing of the bond. There's one other aspect of agreement between Matthew 5 and 19 that I want to call to your attention. namely that the exception applies in these verses to both divorce and remarriage. John Murray has shown this in his excellent book entitled Divorce, that the exception cannot refer only merely to divorce. It must necessarily include remarriage. to apply the exception only to divorce destroys the meaning of the verse and leaves you with what Murray calls nonsense and untruth. It's just not true that to divorce your spouse makes them commit adultery. It is only when an unbiblically divorced person remarries that the adultery is actually transacted. An unbiblically divorced person who would remain single and celibate continues to be bound by their original marriage to their spouse and they do not commit adultery unless and until they engage in a conjugal act. And so this exception covers divorce and remarriage. Not just divorce, but divorce and remarriage. So the force of the exception is this. If a husband engages in an adulterous sexual behavior, the wife may divorce him and then may remarry without sin. She is not considered an adulteress if she remarries in such a situation. She is innocent and she is free to remarry. He has destroyed their marriage by his act of adultery and now she has Christian liberty to divorce him and remarry another man if she so chooses. Now in all fairness we must turn it around and say it the other way too. If a wife engages in adultery, the husband is free to divorce her and remarry another woman without sin. That innocent husband would not be considered an adulterer if he remarried in such a situation because he is innocent and he too is free to remarry. The adulterous wife has destroyed the marriage through her adultery, and so the husband now has the Christian liberty to divorce and remarry if he chooses. It works equally for men or women. This is exactly what our Westminster Confession of Faith says. In the chapter on marriage, Paragraph 5 reads as follows, and listen closely. Adultery or fornication committed after a contract being detected before marriage giveth just occasion to the innocent party to dissolve that contract. In the case of adultery after marriage, it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce. and after the divorce to marry another as if the offending party were dead. That's what I've been trying to say. That's what the scriptures say. Divorce is a terrible thing. It must be avoided at all costs. And it is wrong in many, many situations. It spawns more sin and new sin. But in the exceptional case where one party, one spouse has committed adultery, the innocent spouse, the spouse that has been aggrieved in this, that spouse is free. That spouse may divorce and remarry if they choose. Well, how should we apply Christ's rule and his exception to modern society? What does this mean for us today? I think the first thing that we have to recognize is that the divorce culture, recreational divorce, is clearly contrary to God's creation ordinance, to his moral law, and to Christ's explicit teachings. our culture is desperately out of sync with God's clearly revealed will. And the church must again stand for the truth and speak the truth in love. The church must again declare that divorce for any reason except for sexual immorality is sinful. To remarry in unbiblical situations leads to adultery and it is sinful in God's sight and so we must counsel unbiblically divorced people to remain unmarried or preferably if possible to be reconciled again to their estranged spouse The church cannot turn a blind eye to the divorce culture of our day. We can't just shrug our shoulders and say, well, that's the way it is and there's nothing we can do about it. Oh, yes, there is. We can open our mouths and speak the truth again. We can speak for God and for Christ and declare, thus saith the Lord, We can also work pastorally to promote reconciliation in failing marriages. To that end, the church today must actively work to strengthen and support marriage as an institution and as a concept in our culture. More and more, the institution of marriage is under attack. All sorts of forces have been fighting against marriage for a very long time and they have done damage to the institution. Marriage is often viewed as something optional and something expendable. You might try it out and if it doesn't work, well, cast it aside and try again. And people are casual and careless in throwing away relationships. And the damage done to our society is immense and lasting. The church must lead the charge in protecting marriage and in helping marriages within our own body. And when we see married people struggling in their relationships, We should come alongside of them and offer them comfort and assistance, help and counsel. And in cases where adultery is committed, the church must be brave to step in and to adjudicate the matter. We cannot just let these things go. and run their natural course. The church must step in and investigate and see who is guilty and who is innocent. Where there are guilty church members, adulterers and adulteresses, the church must apply the discipline prescribed in Holy Scripture. and where there are innocent people who have been harmed through no fault of their own, the church must also step in and protect and comfort and help them. It's no time for the church to simply wag its finger and condemn in a general way, but where there are people who have been harmed by divorce, the innocent parties We need to help them. We need to protect them. And we need to reassure them of their God-given rights and freedoms. Well, there's obviously more that can and should be said. What about desertion? What about 1 Corinthians? Well, next week we're going to look into that and seek to understand the desertion clause and what God is saying to us there, and then hopefully wrap up with some very practical issues. May the Lord bless His Word to His people. Let's pray. O Lord, You have created this glorious institution called marriage. You are the one who founded the first home and brought the husband and the wife together and made the two one. And you, O Lord, said that no man should put asunder what you have brought together. O Lord, help us in our day to stand against the tide of divorce. Help us to speak clearly and to think rightly on these matters and to help those whose lives are ravaged by divorce. For we pray it, Lord, in Jesus' name, amen.