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Our text this morning comes from
Matthew 5, verses 31 and 32. It was said, whoever sends his
wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you
that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of
unchastity, makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries
a divorced woman commits adultery. Let's pray and ask God's blessing
upon His Word. O Lord, we come to the words
of our Savior, and as we seek to understand His meaning and
to apply it in our lives, we ask that You would grant Your
Spirit in great measure that we would know the truth and be
set free to live by it. For we pray in Jesus' name, amen. Last week we began a mini-series
on the delicate topic of divorce. We looked at Old Testament passages
and principles about divorce. And I don't doubt that last week's
sermon created as many questions as it answered. There are scores
of scenarios connected with divorce, and I hope to cover many of these
before we move on in the text. So by following an orderly progression
I want to present to you the overall biblical perspective
on divorce and related topics. Today we're going to look into
the New Testament giving careful attention to Matthew 5 verse
32 and its parallels. We will be considering Jesus'
rule concerning divorce and remarriage, as well as Jesus' stated exception
to the general rule. But before we dive into these
passages, let me remind you of a crucial point. What we are
about to look at are the inspired, inerrant words of Christ. He spoke these words. which the
apostles, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, accurately
and faithfully wrote down in the New Testament. These are
red-letter passages, so to speak. Moreover, there is no debate
over the authenticity of these verses. Scholars do not dispute
their accuracy, even though they may differ in interpretation. So as you listen, and as we look
at these texts together, please remember that these are the very
words of your Savior, Jesus Christ. Your church and your pastor are
not making this up. It's not simply my private opinion
or our public position. No, these are the authoritative
declarations of the Son of God Himself. So let's move forward. First, understanding Jesus' rule. Then, considering Jesus' exception. And finally, applying these truths
to the 21st century. When we look at Matthew 5 verse
32, we find these words. But I say to you that everyone
who divorces his wife except for the reason of unchastity
makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced
woman commits adultery. Now, later in the book of Matthew,
we will find an expanded treatment of this topic and a restatement
of Jesus' words in Matthew 5. When we turn to Matthew 19 verse
9, we find the following and I say
to you whoever divorces his wife except for immorality and marries
another woman commits adultery the other Gospels contain very
similar statements Mark chapter 10 verses 11 and 12 and he said
to them whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman
commits adultery against her and if she herself divorces her
husband and marries another man she is committing adultery and
then in Luke's account in chapter 16 verse 18 we read everyone
who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery And
he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery. The one parallel passage which
is not found in the Synoptic Gospels comes to us in 1 Corinthians
chapter 7 verses 10 and 11 where Paul writes, But to the married
I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should
not leave her husband. But if she does leave, she must
remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And that the
husband should not divorce his wife. Now the first thing we
realize about these passages is that they are true parallels. They cover the same subject matter
in the same words and with almost identical emphasis. And yet we
would also recognize that there are some small differences that
tend to bring out the various facets of Jesus' general rule. Before we look at each one of
them individually, I want to look at what they all have in
common. Each of these statements contains
an overarching principle or a general rule for married people. Now,
you might say that the audience married folk. Marriage is presupposed
in these passages. Though in other places Paul and
Christ both speak to single people, here they are directing their
instruction to the married. Notice that they all have an
inclusive emphasis and what I mean by that is that they use the
words everywhere and whoever. So this is not a narrowly focused
bit of advice to a small subset of the married population. But rather this is true for anyone
who is married and for everyone who is married. This is truly a general rule
given to all and about all. It covers every case. Notice also that all five of
those passages deal simultaneously with the topics of divorce and
remarriage. These two things are tightly
bound together. They are not dealt with separately
or abstractly, but they come bundled as a package. Each of
the statements that I read give us a three-step progression. The first step in the progression
is the divorce. The second step is a remarriage. And then the third and final
step in each is the committing of adultery. Now before I say anything more
about this, let me state clearly that there is an exception. The exception is the case of
sexual immorality or marital infidelity. I'm going to deal
with the adultery exception in my second point of this sermon,
but in order to understand the exception, I think you must understand
the general rule apart from the exception. It's really only within
the context of the general principle that the exception makes any
sense whatsoever. So in order to deal with one,
you must first understand the other. Now the first passage
that I read is our text, Matthew 5, 32. But I say to you that
everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity,
makes her commit adultery. and whoever marries a divorced
woman commits adultery now in that verse Jesus says that everyone
who divorces his wife for any reason except unchastity makes
her commit adultery and that whoever marries a divorced woman
commits adultery for clarity's sake let me read to you the rule
without the exception clause. Everyone who divorces his wife
makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced
woman commits adultery. That general rule is what we
get in Mark 10 and Luke 16. So you need to understand really
the general principle that whoever divorces his wife makes her commit
adultery and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery
that means that an unbiblical divorce followed by an unbiblical
remarriage produces two consequences first of all It makes the divorced
wife become an adulteress if and when she remarries. Second,
it makes her new husband an adulterer. When the divorced woman and her
new husband consummate their new marriage, it is an act of
adultery on both of their parts. Now you say, why is that? Well,
it's because the divorce was not valid. It was not biblically
justified. And so the first marriage remains
binding upon the divorced woman. She actually remains the wife
of her original husband. Her new husband is taking another
man's wife. Hence Jesus prohibits the unbiblically
divorced woman to remarry. And he prohibits any man from
marrying her. For them to remarry, in that
case, leads to the sin of adultery. But notice who is really guilty
of creating these sinful conditions. It is the husband, the original
husband, who unbiblically divorced his wife. He makes her commit
adultery, Jesus says. The guilt goes to his account. She may commit the act, but he
caused it by unbiblically divorcing his wife. The second passage the one from
Matthew 19 focuses on a somewhat different issue I say to you
whoever divorces his wife except for immorality and marries another
woman commits adultery now Jesus is focusing on that original
husband who divorced his wife and now that original husband
goes and marries another woman and by doing this That man, the
original husband, is now committing adultery with his new wife in
his second marriage. So when a man divorces his wife,
he can involve potentially four people in the sin of adultery. He himself with his new wife,
his second wife. as well as his original wife
and her new husband. All four of them become guilty
of committing adultery because of his unwarranted act in divorcing
his first wife. And there is a sense in which
he is guilty of causing this widespread adultery to go on. Now this is emphasized clearly
in both Mark and Luke's parallel verses. And yet Mark contributes
one other important insight, namely that this principle is
equally true for a woman as for a man. In Mark 10 verse 11, Jesus
addresses his rule to the man who divorces his wife and marries
another woman. He commits adultery against his
first wife. But then verse 12 puts the shoe
on the feminine foot. If she divorces her husband and
marries another man, she is committing adultery. And so what's good
for the goose is good for the gander. Luke's account gives us yet another
wrinkle. that he who marries one who is
divorced from a husband commits adultery and Luke puts the emphasis
upon an unmarried man who stumbles across an unbiblically divorced
woman and he decides to marry her he then becomes guilty of
adultery also if he chooses to marry an unbiblically divorced
woman And so in these synoptic accounts,
we're looking at the same situation from a variety of different perspectives,
focusing on different people, focusing on the original husband
and his sin, focusing on the original wife and her sin, focusing
on the new husband and the new wife and their sins in this matter. This all leads to Paul's very
practical summary of Jesus' rule and to his pastoral encouragements
to Christian people. He says basically this, if you're
married, don't leave your spouse. If you do leave your spouse,
you must either remain unmarried or else be reconciled to your
spouse. remain unmarried or be reconciled
those are your choices and this rule applies to men and to women
basically do not divorce therefore I think we can state
Jesus general rule as follows married people must not divorce
their spouses and then remarry new spouses To do so can cause
everyone involved to commit adultery. Instead of that, work through
your differences and be reconciled to one another so that you may
live in harmony and peace with your spouse as the Lord your
God intends. I like how John Calvin put it
when he says, quarrels and differences Do not dissolve a marriage. Oh yes, they're difficult. The
friction is hard to handle. It's not easy to work through
a difference of opinion or to settle a quarrel with your husband
or your wife. No one said it's easy, but it's
not impossible. When the Holy Spirit is involved,
when Christ is active, when His Word is appreciated, quarrels
and differences can be resolved and the relationship which is
threatening to rupture can actually be reconciled and a tighter and
closer bond can be created. You are never beyond hope as
long as God is God and as long as you are alive on this earth. So with the general rule in mind,
We next move to Jesus' exception. Let me emphasize that this is
a legitimate exception to the rule. You know, exceptions are
really interesting things. Rather than negating the rule
or overthrowing the general principle, an exception truly serves to
establish the rule. the rule as they say. Well how
can that be? Well an exception by its very
nature testifies to the fact that there is a rule to the contrary. Exceptions presuppose that the
rule says otherwise. But here is a case where the
rule doesn't apply. I would tell you that if there
is no rule then there can be no such thing as an exception.
An exception only makes sense if there's a rule. And so, where
there is an exception, there must be a rule. The exception
is stated in both of the citations in Matthew's Gospel. In Matthew
5.32, everyone who divorces his wife except for the reason of
marital unchastity. And then in Matthew 19 verse
9, whoever divorces his wife except for immorality. You see, the fact is that Jesus
repeatedly states the exception. The fact that neither Mark nor
Luke record the exception do not invalidate Matthew. Matthew
gives us the fullest rendering of the account, including both
the rule and the exception. Mark and Luke give us a summary
statement with only the rule. But because they do not state
the exception doesn't mean that the exception doesn't exist. It just means that they did not
record it. They were focusing on the rule.
We don't want to begin thinking that Luke and Mark are lining
up against Matthew. That's not true. They all agree. You might also notice the agreement
between the two verses that we read in Matthew 5.32 and 19.19 Both give us the same exception. The behavior is pornea, fornication,
sexual immorality, marital unfaithfulness, a sexual act with a person other
than your spouse. In a single word, adultery. For it is, in fact, the sexual
infidelity that act of sexual immorality that breaks the marriage
covenant, that dissolves the bond between husband and wife. Divorce in such a situation does
not break the marriage bond because the marriage bond was already
broken by the immoral act that was involved. Divorce simply,
legally, and formally recognizes what the adultery had accomplished,
namely the breaking of the covenant, the shattering of the unity,
and the loosing of the bond. There's one other aspect of agreement
between Matthew 5 and 19 that I want to call to your attention.
namely that the exception applies in these verses to both divorce
and remarriage. John Murray has shown this in
his excellent book entitled Divorce, that the exception cannot refer
only merely to divorce. It must necessarily include remarriage. to apply the exception only to
divorce destroys the meaning of the verse and leaves you with
what Murray calls nonsense and untruth. It's just not true that
to divorce your spouse makes them commit adultery. It is only when an unbiblically
divorced person remarries that the adultery is actually transacted. An unbiblically divorced person
who would remain single and celibate continues to be bound by their
original marriage to their spouse and they do not commit adultery
unless and until they engage in a conjugal act. And so this exception covers
divorce and remarriage. Not just divorce, but divorce
and remarriage. So the force of the exception
is this. If a husband engages in an adulterous
sexual behavior, the wife may divorce him and then may remarry
without sin. She is not considered an adulteress
if she remarries in such a situation. She is innocent and she is free
to remarry. He has destroyed their marriage
by his act of adultery and now she has Christian liberty to
divorce him and remarry another man if she so chooses. Now in all fairness we must turn
it around and say it the other way too. If a wife engages in
adultery, the husband is free to divorce her and remarry another
woman without sin. That innocent husband would not
be considered an adulterer if he remarried in such a situation
because he is innocent and he too is free to remarry. The adulterous
wife has destroyed the marriage through her adultery, and so
the husband now has the Christian liberty to divorce and remarry
if he chooses. It works equally for men or women. This is exactly what our Westminster
Confession of Faith says. In the chapter on marriage, Paragraph
5 reads as follows, and listen closely. Adultery or fornication
committed after a contract being detected before marriage giveth
just occasion to the innocent party to dissolve that contract. In the case of adultery after
marriage, it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce. and after the divorce to marry
another as if the offending party were dead. That's what I've been
trying to say. That's what the scriptures say.
Divorce is a terrible thing. It must be avoided at all costs. And it is wrong in many, many
situations. It spawns more sin and new sin. But in the exceptional case where
one party, one spouse has committed adultery, the innocent spouse,
the spouse that has been aggrieved in this, that spouse is free. That spouse may divorce and remarry
if they choose. Well, how should we apply Christ's
rule and his exception to modern society? What does this mean
for us today? I think the first thing that we
have to recognize is that the divorce culture, recreational
divorce, is clearly contrary to God's creation ordinance,
to his moral law, and to Christ's explicit teachings. our culture
is desperately out of sync with God's clearly revealed will. And the church must again stand
for the truth and speak the truth in love. The church must again
declare that divorce for any reason except for sexual immorality
is sinful. To remarry in unbiblical situations
leads to adultery and it is sinful in God's sight and so we must counsel unbiblically
divorced people to remain unmarried or preferably if possible to
be reconciled again to their estranged spouse The church cannot
turn a blind eye to the divorce culture of our day. We can't
just shrug our shoulders and say, well, that's the way it
is and there's nothing we can do about it. Oh, yes, there is.
We can open our mouths and speak the truth again. We can speak
for God and for Christ and declare, thus saith the Lord, We can also work pastorally to
promote reconciliation in failing marriages. To that end, the church
today must actively work to strengthen and support marriage as an institution
and as a concept in our culture. More and more, the institution
of marriage is under attack. All sorts of forces have been
fighting against marriage for a very long time and they have
done damage to the institution. Marriage is often viewed as something
optional and something expendable. You might try it out and if it
doesn't work, well, cast it aside and try again. And people are
casual and careless in throwing away relationships. And the damage
done to our society is immense and lasting. The church must lead the charge
in protecting marriage and in helping marriages within our
own body. And when we see married people
struggling in their relationships, We should come alongside of them
and offer them comfort and assistance, help and counsel. And in cases where adultery is
committed, the church must be brave to step in and to adjudicate
the matter. We cannot just let these things
go. and run their natural course.
The church must step in and investigate and see who is guilty and who
is innocent. Where there are guilty church
members, adulterers and adulteresses, the church must apply the discipline
prescribed in Holy Scripture. and where there are innocent
people who have been harmed through no fault of their own, the church
must also step in and protect and comfort and help them. It's
no time for the church to simply wag its finger and condemn in
a general way, but where there are people who have been harmed
by divorce, the innocent parties We need to help them. We need
to protect them. And we need to reassure them
of their God-given rights and freedoms. Well, there's obviously more
that can and should be said. What about desertion? What about
1 Corinthians? Well, next week we're going to
look into that and seek to understand the desertion clause and what
God is saying to us there, and then hopefully wrap up with some
very practical issues. May the Lord bless His Word to
His people. Let's pray. O Lord, You have
created this glorious institution called marriage. You are the
one who founded the first home and brought the husband and the
wife together and made the two one. And you, O Lord, said that
no man should put asunder what you have brought together. O
Lord, help us in our day to stand against the tide of divorce. Help us to speak clearly and
to think rightly on these matters and to help those whose lives
are ravaged by divorce. For we pray it, Lord, in Jesus'
name, amen.
Jesus & Divorce, Pt 2
Series The Gospel of Matthew
In this second installment, we look at Jesus' statements on divorce and remarriage. First we focus on Jesus' general rule, then we look at the adultery exception, and close with practical suggestions for the 21st century.
| Sermon ID | 51308179122 |
| Duration | 35:00 |
| Date | |
| Category | Sunday - AM |
| Bible Text | Matthew 5:31-32 |
| Language | English |
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