What does it mean to honor your mother? Find out today on Changed by Grace. Welcome to Changed by Grace. I'm Pastor Steve Herbert. Ephesians 6.23 says, Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise. Why are we to honor them? That it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth. Mothers, according to Proverbs 31.10, are worth more than rubies. But let's learn more about this today as we study together from God's Word. It's a very special day today as Mother's Day and we honor all the mothers that are here. The Bible tells us about honoring our parents. Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 2 says, honor your father and your mother. And why are we to honor them? Well, Ephesians 6, 3 says, because it is right. You know, many times we tell our kids different things and they want to know why we tell them this. And really the Bible gives us this answer because it is right. It'll go well with you if you honor them, amen? It will not go well with you if you don't. And of course it attaches a promise here saying that you may live long on the earth. And I would say a second reason why we are to honor them is because of what we read this morning in Proverbs 31 in verse 10. You talk about an excellent or a virtuous wife. It says that her worth or her value is far above rubies. And the word for rubies there could be pearls. It could be corals. But the idea of the verse is her value is greater than these precious commodities. And we understand that, as we have even read in verse 10, when he says that this virtuous or excellent wife is hard to find. When you read that, and I'm sure, ladies, as you heard that as we were reading and probably doing some self-evaluations, and men, as we read that, we're sitting here thinking, praise the Lord for our wives, because this is what we have. We have that precious woman who is faithful and committed to the family. And you don't find that a whole lot today. But here, this is certainly something that we can major on and we should major on. We know that children can say some of the most amazing things. Teresa has actually developed several pages or notes on Facebook of some of the things that our kids say, and the world gets to read it and laugh with us as well. But there was one mother who had overheard her 18-month-old daughter rehearsing some noises that she was making, and her daughter said something like this. She said, sheep go baa, and cows go moo, and dogs go woof, woof. But mama says, no, no, no. And we've all heard that, haven't we? But we've also heard the tender yes. And maybe even sometimes the frustrated yes because we wore them down. Victor Hugo says a mother's arms are made of tenderness. and children sleep soundly in them. When I think of the influence of a mother, especially when I look at my children and especially with Samuel, Samuel is so dependent on us, but when I see my wife hold him and just the rest and the security that he feels, though he maybe can't communicate it in language that you and I can understand, but you can see it. But that's that tenderness of a mother's arms that Victor Hugo points out. Someone also once wrote, he says, I've been caught in my mother's tenderness. She sees my stress and soothes my forehead. She knows my turmoil and hugs me close. She hears my broken prayers and murmurs her love. Yet though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, of pain, of angst, of brokenness, of disappointment, of fear, of anger, and why me, and self-pity, and bitterness, and loss, and yearning, my mother is with me. She brushes my hair, holds my hand, kisses my cheek. Surely mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, for I am caught in my mother's tenderness. And even Paul, when he talked about how he responded to the Thessalonians when he came there into Thessalonica and gave them the word of God, it says that he came with the tenderness of a mother. Mothers are tender. And if they're not, they should be, right? But they are tender, and all of us could attest for that. And it's no wonder that Solomon said in Proverbs 31, 28, that her children rise up and call her blessed, and her husband also, and he praises her. because this is what he has. One day, a noted financial analyst named Sylvia Porter took her calculations to the computer and punched in the average hourly fee for a nursemaid, housekeeper, cook, dishwasher, laundress, food buyer, chauffeur, gardener, maintenance person, seamstress, dietician, and practical nurse. And she found that the labor performed by a mother each year at home would cost a family $23,580 in Greensboro, South Carolina, $26,962 in Los Angeles, and $28,735 in Chicago. And we know that list certainly is not exhausted. If you add the other functions like a coach, a teacher, an interior decorator, a religious educator, a mediator, counselor, and child psychologist, and you punch up the salaries for all of those professions, mom's worth would be at least six figures. Moms are valuable. And when you realize all that your mother does for you, Do you ever stop to evaluate those things? God holds a special place for mothers. We hear in John 19, 26, when Jesus was on the cross, he saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing by, and he said to his mother, woman, behold, your son. And then he said to the disciple, behold, your mother. And from that hour, that disciple took her to his home. He's dying on a cross, one of the most worst ways to die by crucifixion. And what is he concerned about? His mother. And so again, since mothers are special to Jesus, what kind of legacy is she to leave her children? What is she to pass on to the next generation? Is it what one little girl said to her daddy after he read her a story about slaves? She asked, daddy, what is a slave? And he explained it the best that he could. And when he was through, the little girl looked up at her daddy and asked, is this what mommy is? She's not a slave. And I know at times she feels like it. Mothers are influencers. They're models. When Abraham Lincoln was asked, what is the greatest book you've ever read? He succinctly replied, my mother. My mother. As we consider a mother's worth this morning, there are three things that I want to share with you that every mother should pass on to their children. And again, when we look at the tenderness, we look at the caringness of mothers, that is passed on from every mother, whether a mother knows Jesus or not, right? That tenderness of their child. But here's something that needs to be passed on. These are essential. These are non-negotiable. These are the type of things that every mother should pass on regardless. And it will take work to do this, and probably the work will become greater in the later years as their children have grown, but there should still be this continual commitment to pass these things on. And the first thing that I would mention is a mother must give their children the gospel of Jesus Christ. They must give their children the gospel. This means that they must first know Jesus themselves. If they don't know Jesus, then they have no way to pass Him on, right? If they don't know Jesus, they have no way to teach Him the Word of God. And they can try, and they can do it in little cursory manners, and I would certainly say try, and even in those moments of reading the Bible as best you can to your children, and maybe you don't know Jesus at the point that you should know Him, or to know Him personally, But the best way to pass on something like this to your children is to know Jesus personally. Because encompassed in all of that is living. It's seeing life lived out. It's seeing if Jesus is real in your life, not just talking about him every now and then or just bringing him to church or bringing them to church. It's just more than that. And it's certainly more than dropping them off at church. I know that there's been mothers that have done that, but that's because they themselves don't know Jesus. And the greatest value that a mother can place for herself is in a relationship with Jesus. receiving Jesus as Lord and Savior, surrendering her life to Him. And I know even as a father that I pray many times, God, help me, and I've been doing this for 51 years, and I still half the time say, Lord, I don't know what I'm doing. Just when I thought I have figured some of this out with having three grown children and then a 15-year gap and doing it all over again, and my wife and I just say to everyone, we didn't have anything else better to do, so why not continue to raise children? But you know what, in this whole process that we have discovered in the last eight years, is that they're not the same as the first three. They are different. They're not laid back like the first three were. They're loud and obnoxious. And my house is not quiet. Even when you run to another room, just so you can hear someone on the other end of the phone, they follow you. They try to follow you into the bathroom. Praise the Lord for locks on the doors. But you know, they stand there and wait. And we have this whole notion of bringing the cell phone with us into the bathroom, and that's because we have to cry for help while we're in there to come and rescue us from the child that's standing outside the door, right? That's mom calling dad, saying, would you come get them? Yes, now. Stop what you're doing, come get them. But see, you can't talk to your children about salvation if you're not demonstrating that in your lives. And what is salvation? Deliverance. If you have not been delivered of your sin, then how can you talk to them about the need for them to be delivered from theirs? You have to know Jesus first. So, ladies, I would ask you this, have you given your life to Jesus? Have you received Jesus Christ? The Bible says, as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even those who believe in His name. Have you surrendered your life to Jesus? Over in Philippians 2, verse 12, it talks about working out your salvation with fear and trembling. And that's another way of just saying, are you setting yourself apart to God every day? Are you being holy? Are you in the Word? Are you seeking to live the Word? And are you committed to God no matter what you go through in your life, no matter what you experience in your day? I think of Zacharias and Elizabeth that tells us in Luke 1, 5 and 6 that they were both righteous in the sight of God. They both were walking blamelessly in all the commandments and the requirements of the Lord. Both of them were like this. It wasn't just one of them, it was both of them. And I know that when you have an unsaved spouse, that is difficult. And I know that you want the other one to be saved. And you might even plaster repent on their beer cans as they reach for the refrigerator and open it up and they see repent over Budweiser. But you know, 1 Peter chapter 2 tells us, or chapter 3 rather, tells us that the way that you win an unsaved husband is through a godly life, a chaste conduct. And it's not by plastering repent on beer cans and things like that, but it's living a godly life, living a life of obedience in front of them. You know, that's really how we win the world. They see our lives more than they hear our words, though we have to say both. We have to say the words and we also have to demonstrate the life, but it's the life that they're looking at. And so the first thing that a mother is to pass on to their children is that they must give their children the gospel of Jesus Christ. The second thing that mothers must give to their children is that they must teach their children to fear God. There are many things that we're afraid of in this world. I asked a class the other day, what are some things that are standing out to you as events going on in our world? And one person in each class immediately said the same thing, and they said ISIS. And yes, that's something to be feared. That is something to be concerned about. We are more concerned about that than our elected leaders are. They're playing games with it. And we're talking about life and death. We're talking about people that hate Christians. And they say it over and over. We're talking about genocide going on in the Middle East. That it's just being done as political ops. You know, when you look at the TV or you read about it in the paper or you hear the president say that he has them contained and under control and they're a little junior varsity group of terrorists, but they're terrorizing the world and they're taking over the Middle East. And our ally, Israel, America has turned its back on them, or at least the president has and his staff. But the Bible talks about if you touch Israel, my chosen one, it's like touching the apple of my eye, God says. And you take your finger and stick it in your eye, and you tell me if that doesn't irritate. I remember the first time I got contacts, I spent about two hours standing on that counter trying to figure out how to touch my eye. Because it's not natural, right? And it's an irritant. And here in the world, that is something to fear. But let me ask you this, do you fear God more than you fear ISIS? Do you fear God more than all of those things that maybe you lay down at night, and one by one, those things come to your mind? and things that you're afraid of. Do you fear God more? Do you look to God for those things? Do you cast your fear and all your care upon Him, all your anxiety, as the Bible says? But when we talk about fearing God, we're talking about a reverence there, we're talking about an attitude. You know, when I read scripture to the school, and I'll have kids talking and things like that, and my first thought is that they don't reverence or understand the fear of God, but my second thought is that many of them don't know God. Why should I expect any more than that? And I know they can be quiet. I told them that the other day. I said, you know, you were quiet for three hours while we did the SATs. So be quiet. You can be quiet. But in the fear of God, children must understand this. And in order to understand this, they have to see it in Scripture. And the Bible does talk about the fear of God. Let me have you go to Psalm chapter 19. Psalm chapter 19. And we'll just walk our way through a few verses and let you see some of the things that the Bible says about the fear of the Lord. Psalm 19 and verse 9, when it is talking about there in that passage, the Scripture, because it uses different titles for Scripture. Over in verse 7, it calls it the law of the Lord and the testimony of the Lord. In verse 8, the statutes of the Lord and the commandment of the Lord. Then verse 9 calls it the fear of the Lord. And what does it say about the fear of the Lord? It says it's clean. It's enduring forever. And the idea of clean means pure. It's pure. The fear of God is pure. And the Word of God produces that fear. It produces that reverence in our heart for God. You don't get that. anywhere else but here. And moms, if you fear God, that's certainly something you pass on to your kids and they see that. You know, I used to like it. My study has been in several places in our house, but at one point it was in the front room where Samuel has his room now, and we had double doors there, and it had glass in it. And I used to think when my kids were older, and if they wanted to interrupt me when I had the door closed, what I wanted them to see, and this was not an act for them, this was not a parade for them, but I wanted them seeing their dad praying or studying scripture. So I didn't mind the study right there until I'm on the Saturday night panic and they're still banging on the door, you know, that's not helpful. But I wanted them to see that their dad read the Bible. I mean, sure, they grew up in a pastor's home and they went through all the things at church and they've been into everything and they've had to live in the glass bowl, which is very, very difficult. But through all of this to be a family, and to function as a family as best as you could, and to try to forget about all the things that people think about you because they see you in the glass bowl. They don't live in glass bowls. In fact, when you inquire about their house, their home life, it's like, oh, off limits. But you, pastor, you live in a glass bowl, and you're not off limits. We know you. But you see, in all of that, like I said, is that Whether you live in a glass bowl or not, what do you want your kids to see about your relationship to God? You want them to see that you take it seriously, you want them to see that you fear God, you reverence God, you spend time with God, you spend time in His Word. Yes, you're not perfect, and listen, however loudly your sin is is how loud your confession should be, and if you blow it with your kids, it doesn't matter how old they are, you need to confess your sin to them. If I'm gonna teach my kids to say to one another or to say to me or mom, will you forgive me? Guess what? I have to say it to them. And I've said it many times over the years when I have blown it to my kids. And I've had to go to them and say, will you forgive me for what I've done? And it caught on. It caught on because even our young ones now will say the same thing. Will you forgive me? Because that's being modeled by mom and dad. And our kids, as I mentioned about walking in my shoes, my first three love to walk in my shoes. I hide my shoes now, so my last four can't do it. But I have some new shoes, so they're not gonna walk in these. But you know, they walk in your shoes, meaning they mimic your life. They copy what they see. But do you look at them and mirror that back to yourself and say, what they're doing is what they see in me? Unless you're one that denies that. And we have just cause to say, you didn't learn that at home. I didn't teach you that. Because they got that one from their friends. Bad company corrupts good morals. But listen to what the Bible says. Go to Psalm 111. First it says it's clean and enduring forever. Psalm 111 tells us that it is the beginning of wisdom. The beginning of wisdom. If you want the wisdom of God, if you want the fear of God, it's gonna come right there at the beginning. It says right there in verse 10. It says, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. A good understanding have all those who do His commandments. His praise endures forever. So the fear of the Lord is clean and enduring forever. It's the beginning of wisdom. And Proverbs 1, 7 adds that it's the beginning of knowledge, the beginning of knowledge. So if you want to have wisdom, you want to have knowledge, then you need to have the fear of God. And I think we've used that phrase to refer to spankings. They need the fear of God put in them. How many times have you used that one? That's not what it's talking about here, but it sounds good, doesn't it? Well, there are other passages that talk about the fear of God, like Proverbs 10, 27, that the fear of God prolongs days. Proverbs 14, 26 says it's a strong confidence. Verse 27 says it's a fountain of life. Proverbs 15.33 says it's instruction of wisdom. Proverbs 16.6 says it's how one departs from evil. I like that one because that gives me more of a definition there. Because if I'm gonna turn from my sin, how I'm gonna do that is to fear God. I'm gonna have this reverential fear of God and that's gonna enable me and encourage me to turn from my own sinfulness, my own evil. And of course Proverbs 19.23 says it leads to life and satisfaction. We think other things lead to life and satisfaction. We may pursue it in other means, but the Bible says the fear of God leads to that. Fearing God is your highest pursuit. Let me have you look at one more passage. I purposely didn't make you turn to the others because they were just short phrases, but go to Proverbs 8, Proverbs 8, and look at verse 13. See, I do this every now and then so you'll appreciate it when we're studying a whole text and you get to stay there on one page. And you don't have to worry about moving around, but look at this one in Proverbs 8. And look at verse 13, verse 13. It says, the fear of the Lord is, and now it's gonna define it, what is it? To hate evil, pride, and arrogance, and the evil way, and the perverse mouth I hate. That's what it is to fear God. That's what it is to fear the Lord. It's to hate evil. It's to hate pride. It's to hate arrogance. It's to hate the evil way. It's to hate the perverse mouth. And you show your children that you fear God when this is true in your life, when you turn from evil. If you've got a perverse mouth, you need to repent of that, and you need to repent to them as well. And tell them that what mommy and daddy is saying, or what mommy is saying, don't worry about daddy, you let daddy do that too, let him repent. But what mommy is saying right now, this is not good language, and I don't want you to repeat this. You know, they won't repeat something if they don't hear it, right? If mom and daddy have bad language, they cuss, then don't get surprised when the kids start doing it. If they swear, ask yourself, do I swear? Are they picking that up from me? Just look at your own life. Let that be your barometer, if you will. Look at your life and see, are these things true in your life? But he tells us here in this definition, the fear of the Lord is to hate evil. And that's why mothers must teach their children that the fear of God is the most important truth because it is the beginning of wisdom. It is the beginning of knowledge. The fear of the Lord is certainly an attitude. It is a state of mind. It is this attitude and this will and this feeling and this deeds and all these things which are what you put out there in exchange for God's. In other words, you want God's will, you want God's attitude, you want God's feelings, you want all of these things. You want to mimic God in your life, like Ephesians 5.1 talks about, be imitators of God. And then the next verse says, walk in love. And the previous few verses talk about things you put off in your life, things that you put away, that you don't have anything to do with those anymore. These aren't true about God, shouldn't be true about us as followers of Jesus, right? Let me give you a third. Mothers must give their children the gospel of Jesus Christ. Secondly, mothers must teach their children the fear of God. And third, mothers must teach their children to love God, to love God. They must help their children understand what is the greatest commandment. What is the greatest commandment? Well, it says in Matthew 22, 37, which is a quote from Deuteronomy, you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. Have you ever asked somebody that question sometime when they said that they're a Christian? Instead of just saying, are you a Christian? Why don't you ask them something like this? Do you love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength? And then ask them, do you love your neighbor as yourself? That's one that will get you. See, they have to be taught the necessity of loving God because loving God proves one's salvation. If you don't love God, then how can you say that you belong to him? If you don't love God, how can you say that you know him and you're going to heaven? See, you demonstrate in your life by a life that is obedient to God and obedient to his word whether you love him or not. Jesus said, if you love me, keep my commandments. If you're not keeping his commandments, then the questionable, or the question there is, do you really love him? And it's a good question to ask. 1 John 4, 19 says, we love him because he what? First loved us. Our capacity to love him comes from him. Even 1 Peter 1.8 says, though you have not seen him, you love him, and though you do not see him now, but believe in him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory. You haven't seen him, but you love him. Remember when Jesus prayed in John 17, in that high priestly prayer, he was praying also for those who would believe on him through the testimony of the apostles. Amen. You've been listening today to a message called A Mother's Worth and it's made available today by CD and mp3. To get your copy give us a call at 904-651-3351 or you can download the free mp3 from our website by visiting us at www.changedbygrace.org On our website you'll find other messages like this one that will help you in your growth in the Christian life. Well, I'm Pastor Steve Hereford. I do want to thank you for joining us today and hope you'll join us again next time as we study God's Word. Hi, I'm Pastor Steve Hereford. We have started a new church. It's called Changed by Grace Church. We're meeting at 1322 Eastport Road in Oceanway and we would like to invite you to come grow with us. At Changed by Grace Church we offer the same quality teaching that you hear on this station every week. Why not join us this morning at 11 o'clock? At Changed by Grace Church, we're experiencing the love of God through the grace of God. Need more information? Give us a call at 904-651-3351 or visit our website at changedbygracechurch.org.