Now we're going to read from the Bible, and this evening we're reading from the book of Ruth, chapter one, verses one through 18. Now it came to pass in the days when the judges ruled that there was a famine in the land. And a certain man of Bethlehem, Judah, went to dwell in the country of Moab, he and his wife and his two sons. The name of the man was Elimelech, the name of his wife was Naomi, and the names of his two sons were Malon and Kilion, Ephrathites of Bethlehem, Judah. And they went to the country of Moab and remained there. Then Elimelech, Naomi's husband, died. And she was left and her two sons. Now they took wives of the women of Moab. The name of the one was Orpah and the name of the other Ruth. And they dwelt there about 10 years. Then both Maelon and Kileon also died. And so the woman survived her two sons and her husband. Then she arose with her daughters-in-law that she might return from the country of Moab, for she had heard in the country of Moab that the Lord had visited his people by giving them bread. Therefore she went out from the place where she was and her two daughters-in-law with her, and they went on their way to return to the land of Judah. And Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, go return each to her mother's house. The Lord deal kindly with you as you have dealt with the dead and me and with me. The Lord grant that you may find rest each in the house of her husband." So she kissed them and they lifted up their voices and wept. And they said to her, surely we will return with you to your people. But Naomi said, turn back, my daughters, why will you go with me? Are there still sons in my womb that they may be your husbands? Turn back, my daughters, go, for I am too old to have a husband, if I should say I have hope, if I should have a husband tonight and should also bear sons. Would you wait for them till they were grown? Would you restrain yourselves from having husbands? No, my daughters, for it grieves me very much for your sakes that the hand of the Lord has gone out against me.' Then they lifted up their voices and wept again, and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her. And she said, look, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods. Return after your sister-in-law. But Ruth said, and treat me not to leave you, or to turn back from following after you. For wherever you go, I will go, and wherever you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. Where you die, I will die, and there will I be buried. The Lord do so to me, and more also. If anything but death parts you and me, When she saw that she was determined to go with her, she stopped speaking to her. This is the word of the Lord. How can love be measured? How do you measure the amount of love that someone has? I remember being in college and overhearing a guy telling his girlfriend over the phone how much he loved her. He promised in this phone call that he would swim across any ocean to reach her. He promised that he would climb the highest mountain to get to her. And a year later, he broke up with her. Now, tonight we look at how to measure love. We look at the bonds of love between three women, and each of them lost her husband. Naomi is this widow and an immigrant in Moab, but then the other two women, her daughters-in-law, there's Orpah, there's Ruth, Naomi's two daughters-in-law, Orpah and Ruth also each loved her own husband and lost her own husband. And so you've got these three widows, each of them loves, each of them has lost, and each of them will make a choice. Verse six, Naomi, leaves Moab after 10 years, and she starts to return back to her homeland, to Israel, and Naomi has just, there's nothing left keeping her in Moab. Her husband's dead, all of her sons are dead, and then in verse seven, the other two widows, her two Moabite daughters-in-law, Orpah, Ruth, they decide also, they decide that they will emigrate from Moab. They too are also recently widowed. and they decide to accompany their mother-in-law to her homeland. Now, these three women are bound together in marriage, bound together in husband loss, and they deeply, deeply love one another. Let's look at what each of these three women teach us about how to measure love. Here's what we learn. First of all, we learn that love counts the cost. Love counts the cost. Then secondly, we learn that love shields from cost. Love shields from cost. And third, love incurs great cost. Love counts the cost. Love shields from cost. Love incurs great cost. So first, love counts. the cost. And here we're focusing on this one woman, Orpah, Naomi's daughter-in-law. And we see in the text that Orpah, Orpah loves Naomi. And look at the great, first of all, look at the greatness of Orpah's love. Verse eight, Naomi says to Orpah, you, Orpah, have shown to me, you have shown me chesed. You have shown loving kindness to the dead, and to me." She says, you have shown loving kindness to the dead and to me. And what she's saying is Orpah loved her husband, Kilian, and their marriage was interracial. They came from different countries, but they loved one another. And so Naomi, the mother of Kilian, says in verse eight, Orpah, you loved my son. And in addition, Orpah also loved her mother-in-law. Orpah loved Naomi. That means Orpah loved her foreign mother-in-law, her daughter-in-law. Orpah's daughter love for Naomi, it was able to transcend these cultural differences that often make it so hard for people to be close because they're from different places, different worlds. Orpah loved Naomi to such a degree that Naomi, the mother-in-law, the foreign mother-in-law, Orpah loved her so much that Naomi felt loved. by her foreign Moabite daughter-in-law. And I would say about Orpah, that daughter-in-law, I would say that was a notable success for Orpah. The question for us is, are there people from other places? Are there foreign people, internationals in your life? And do you love them? And do they feel loved by you? I mean, and there are plenty of immigrants in our land today just wondering if they're wanted, wondering if we love them. Or are there people in your life, maybe they're from the same country, maybe they're from this country, but are they from another world? Maybe it feels like they're from another class, socioeconomic class. Maybe they're from the inner city and you're from a rural background. Maybe they're boomers and you're Gen Z and it's just like a totally different world. Do you love them? And do they feel loved by you? Or how about just in-laws? You've had this mother-in-law, daughters-in-law. How about in-laws? Maybe you're like, yeah, how about them? Do you love them? Do you love in-laws? And do they feel loved by you? A love is truly great when it makes those who are foreign, those who are from another world. A love is truly great when it makes those who are foreign feel at home with you. And a love is truly great when it makes those who are not family feel like they're family with you. Orpah's love for her foreign mother-in-law is so great, she is willing to emigrate. to leave her homeland Moab and to return with Naomi to a foreign country, to Israel. Verse seven, Orpah packs up with Naomi and together they take their luggage and they went on the way to return to the land of Judah. So we see the greatness of Orpah's love. Now let's look at the limits, the limits to Orpah's love. So Orpah's thinking with her mother-in-law maybe something like this. We are, you know, my mother-in-law and I, we're both bound in marriage. I married her son. We're bound by loss. I lost my husband. She lost her husband. Mom lost her husband. I love her. How could I leave her? How could I leave her in this? And Naomi, the mother-in-law says, Orpah, you stay. Stay here. Stay in Moab. Don't leave Moab. There is no future for you back in my country. So two things you need to understand about this context for these women. For a woman in those times, for a woman in those times, without a man, you were exceedingly vulnerable. They lived in a patriarchal society. One commentator says, widows in the ancient Near East had lost all social status and generally were also without political or economic status. They would equate, these widows in the ancient Near East, they would equate to the homeless in our American society. Typically, they had no male protector and were therefore economically dependent on society at large. For a widow woman, how could you make a living? The positions for women, widows at best, they would just give you subsistence salary. You could count only on lowest class living. So they were very vulnerable. And secondly though, for a woman in those times, in their context, without a man, you were nothing. Without a man, you were nothing. You had no meaning, you had no significance. Without a man, you had no name. There were no roles of decision or of power in society. And without a man, you had no children. And that meant your life would be forgotten. There would be nothing written. there would be nothing remembered. If you are a woman and a widow, you needed to find a man. You either remarry or you go back, the man would be, you go back to living at your father's house. And so verse eight, mom, Naomi says, don't go with me. There are no men in your future with me. I'm too old to have any more sons who could be your husbands. Then verses 18, 11 through 13, she basically says, look girls, I am past menopause. And so Moabite women in Israel, it was even worse, this idea of going back. Like maybe they might be thinking, well, if we go back with you, Maybe you, Naomi, have connections. You could speak well for us back in Judah and maybe husbands maybe there in Israel. What you need to understand is this. Moabite women in Israel Moabite women had a sleazy reputation. It was just a historic, major prejudice that would have been in place because of the history of Israel when they encountered the Moabite women on the verge of the edge of the wilderness. And so Naomi is saying, for you to come back, for you two, my daughters-in-law, for you two to come back to Israel, You would be foreigners, you would be immigrants in Israel, and you would be Moabitesses. And there's no future for you in my country. Stay here. Find a man. Marry a man here. Have a family here. And so here we see the limits of Orpah's love. Orpah loves her mother-in-law Naomi deeply, and we credit her for that. But Orpah ultimately chooses financial security, and maybe we could say chooses personal significance over love. She goes with pragmatism over love. Orpah chooses pragmatism over devotion to Naomi. And for Orpah, the calculation is clear. I love that. I love that woman. I love my mother-in-law. I love Naomi, but there is no man and there is no family, and there is no future for me with Naomi. And so Orpah turns back. What's the limit to your love? What is the limit to your love? I mean, we all have people in our lives. Maybe it's something like this. This is the limit that we have in our love. I love you. I love you, but not more than keeping up my numbers at work. I love you, but not enough to listen to you talk for 20 minutes straight or 40 minutes straight. Is there a limit to something like this? I love you. I love you, but not more than I love me time in the evening. Not more than I love me time on the weekends. Or if you're a believer, what is the limit, not of your love to people, but what is the limit of your love to God and to God's people? Maybe the limit for you is something like this. I love you, God. I love you, but not enough to lose my friends over you. Or I love you, Jesus, but not enough to leave my home and maybe engage in short-term missions, medium-term missions. Or, I love your people, Jesus. I love the church, but not enough to pour into people with no expectation that they've got something in return for me. Not enough to pour into people who will do nothing to increase my earning potential or to expand my network of contacts or nothing to increase marriage prospects. Believer, from the beginning, the call of Jesus Christ is take up your cross daily. Take up your cross every day and come follow me. That's what Jesus says. When was the last time, this is the hard question when we look at Orpah for us. When was the last time that following Jesus cost you something? what was the last cross that you picked up? Notice that for Orpah, she chose her own security. over love. Orpah's inner dialogue was, how much do I love Naomi? How much do I love you, Naomi? I love you enough to weep together, but not enough to give up my future and my dream of having my own family. So we see Orpah's love, we see Orpah's cost, and we see Orpah's choice. And for us, we have love. We have to weigh the cost, count the cost of following Jesus, and we make a choice. For instance, have you ever risked your career security to follow Jesus? Have you ever opened your mouth to speak the concerns of Jesus, to say something that you know would reflect Jesus' priorities, Jesus' values? Have you ever opened your mouth knowing that if you do so, You will lose social respect. You will lose stature. Love counts the cost. Now, next, we look at this. Love shields from cost. Love shields from cost. And for this, we look at another widow. We look at Naomi. Love shields from cost. Naomi begins the journey back to her home country. But Naomi, as much as she loves her daughters, these daughters-in-law, she loves them enough that she will shield them from cost. Naomi loves them, we see that in verse 12, turn back my daughters. She fully embraces them as daughters. Turn back my daughters. Verse 13, would you hold yourselves back from having husbands? No, my daughters, for it grieves me very much for your sakes that the hand of the Lord has gone out against me." You see what she's saying there? She's saying, my life is cursed. My life is cursed. And if luck were a thing, I have had the worst luck. And so she tells her daughters, just don't don't stay close to me, don't get close to me. People lose, people lose loved ones when they get too close to me. My husband, my sons, your husbands, they died. God has cursed my life and I love you two daughters. I love you too much to invite you into my cursed life. With Naomi, you see this, love shields from cost. Love doesn't want it to cost the one whom you love. We noted Naomi's bitterness, her bitterness against God, and we'll look more at that next time. But even in her bitterness, even in Naomi's bitterness of heart, Naomi does not become utterly self-focused, self-absorbed. How much does Naomi love her daughters, love Orpah and Ruth. Naomi loves them enough to shield them from cost. And isn't that what good parents do? Isn't that what good parents do for their own kids? I read this striking thought in Adam Young's recent book. He said, good parents give. Good parents give and only give to their kids. Good parents don't take from their kids. Good parents give their kids a place for their kids to unload emotionally. Good parents give their kids a place to unload the kid's anger, to unload the kid's fears, to unload the kid's sadness. And good parents don't put their kids in the position of having to be their parents' emotional support. don't lean on their own kids to support them, to support the parents emotionally. Parents go to other adults for that support. And so like my kids, my kids don't need to shoulder all my criticisms of their mom. My kids don't need to shoulder my anger at my boss that's tearing me up. My kids don't need to shoulder my fear about what's going on with the money. And Naomi, even in pain, loves them enough to bless them in her bitter life. Verse eight, look at verse eight. Naomi says to these daughters, go, return each to her mother's house. The Lord, here's her blessing, the Lord deal kindly with you as you have dealt with the dead and with me. People will tend to criticize Naomi, for her bitterness, for her dark suspicion, for her resentment about God's dealings, but give Naomi credit for this. She still, Naomi still has sufficient love in her suffering to think about the good of others, to consider the good and the welfare of others. She's still got sufficient love in her suffering. while she's suffering to bless others, to pray the goodness of God for her daughters. So maybe you're in a hard place, and it really is a hard place, and your life feels cursed, cursed by God. Can you, in the middle of that, can you look out from yourself and all of your problems, can you look out from yourself enough to pray blessing on others, like Naomi, may the goodness and mercy of God come to you and come to you. So love shields from cost. Thirdly, love incurs great cost. Love incurs great cost. And here we look at Ruth. Her mother-in-law has told Ruth and Orpah, daughters, you've got no future with me. Go back to your fathers. Go back to your fathers. Find love. Find husbands. Find the family that you've always wanted. And so Orpah chooses to turn back. Orpah chooses what looks like security, chooses the familiar, the comfortable, but Ruth chooses love. And with Ruth we see this, love incurs great cost. Ruth incurs great cost to herself. Love chooses great cost. Now how great a cost will this be? Verses 16 through 17. Ruth swears her devotion in a covenant. Naomi urged her. Well, your sister-in-law is going back to her people and to her gods. Go back with her. But verse 16, Ruth replied, don't urge me. Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go, I will go. Where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God, my God. And where you die, I will die, and there I'll be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me." Listen to the cost that Ruth is willing to take on herself. How much does Ruth love her mother-in-law? Ruth loves her so much, she is willing to give up her dream of having her own family. Ruth loves her so much, she's willing to give up her chance for a husband. She's willing to stay single. She's also willing to give up financial security. Naomi is practically, her mother-in-law is practically homeless. But Ruth says, where you live, I will live. You may end up in a boarding house, I love you so much, so will I. Ruth's also willing to give up her citizenship. Your people shall be my people. Ruth begins the, Ruth, Ruth, who is native, Ruth begins the emigration process to stay with Naomi. And for her, that meant going to another country where she would be shunned. In Israel, good Jewish boys would not talk to a Moabitess. The Moabitesses were, they would say they're slutty, they're idolaters, they're those kind of women. There's no marriage material there. All that Ruth is willing to take to stay with Naomi. And Ruth is also willing to give up her life, her lifetime. She says, where you die, I will die, and there I'll be buried. She is making a lifetime promise, the kind that you make in a wedding. Marriage is until death do us part. It's a lifetime promise, the kind that you make in adoption. I will be your father, I will be your mother for the rest of your life. She's willing to convert also, to adopt Naomi's faith. Your God will be my God. And so Ruth, in the greatness, in the greatness of her love, Ruth renounces security, she gives up social standing, she turns away from the gods of her people, and she invites on herself homelessness, poverty, she promises her loyal love for a lifetime. And Ruth, to top it all off and to seal the deal, Ruth invites God's curse on herself if she were ever to quit on her mother-in-law, Naomi. So Ruth 1.17, the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts you and me. You see the magnitude. the depth of her love, Ruth's love, she commits for her lifetime. I mean, in our time, in our context, we are very reluctant to even try a three-month free trial for some kind of coffee club. We're really reluctant to do that. And you wouldn't dream, you wouldn't dream of making a 10-year commitment to some corporation, some employer. You wouldn't dream of signing a 10-year lease for an apartment. There are very few commitments, very few commitments with a lifetime term that is even possible to make. In marriage, marriage is one of them. You commit for life. With parenthood or adoption, you also commit for life. And in following Jesus, you also commit for life, don't you? And this one way, in this one way, Ruth is just blazing in her great love. She commits to Naomi, she commits to the God of Naomi, she commits to the God who seems to have cursed Naomi, and she commits to the God whose hand seems to be turned against her mother-in-law. She commits to that God. And Ruth commits to this God and he says, may you curse me. May you curse me if I break my commitment to her. Let me be cursed and do, if I do, as Orpah did and if I ever turn back from this woman. And so it's just, it's astounding. It's astounding. Naomi, who's a foreigner in Moab, the mother, Naomi, has this native daughter-in-law who loves her so much that she pledges lifetime term commitment. How do you measure love? I mean, that is a measure of huge love. Naomi loves her girls so much that she will not invite them into her cursed life. But Ruth loves Naomi so much, she willingly enters Naomi's cursed life. Ruth says, it's like, it's as if Ruth is saying, how much do I love you? I love you enough to make a permanent commitment and to take the curse of God if I ever leave you." How do you measure love? How do you measure love? We all want to be loved and we wonder who will love us? Who will love us deeply? Who will love us when we're cursed and we're radioactive? Who will love us when we're poor? Who will love us when we are mentally disadvantaged or debilitated? Who will love me when I become a social leper? Who will love me with a lifetime commitment? There is only one person who can love you with that degree of love and that kind of love. in the gospel, Jesus Christ counted the cost. What did it cost Jesus to love us? It cost him the respect of society. He moved towards sinners. He moved towards disreputable people and their bad reputation rubbed off on him. He moved towards bad girls and bad boys. He was the friend of sinners he counted the cost. And in the gospel, Jesus Christ shielded those he loved from the cost. We're the ones with the cursed lives. Our sins have brought death and shame and wrath on our heads. But Jesus said, I won't avoid your cursed life. I will wrap myself up, intertwine and mesh myself in your cursed life. Let your cursed life be mine. And let me take the curse and the cross for your sins. I mean, think about that. He took all of that. He took my curse. He took my blame. I won't even take the blame for being late to an appointment. What I'll say, maybe kind of like sideways, is, oh, I'm sorry we're late, but she forgot about the appointment, and that's why we're late. I'm not even willing to take blame for something that little. And in the gospel, Jesus Christ loved us so much, he incurred the greatest cost. Galatians 2.20, the Son of God, Jesus, who loved me and gave himself for me. Jesus said, I pledge my life to you. I cleave to you. I cling to you until death do us part. Naomi, the mother-in-law felt like the hand of God was against her. Jesus said, let me feel the full hand of God against me so that you can have the hand in marriage of the only man who will make you something. And so today I ask you, will you cling to him? Will you cling to that man? And if you have, Do you see your conversion, do you see your commitment to Jesus as a lifetime, whole life commitment to Jesus? If you're a child, maybe you have prayed, Jesus, I confess my sins, I believe that you died for me and that I'm forgiven and I commit myself to you. You, even if you're a child, when you make that commitment, You're committing yourself to Jesus for your whole life. You've got a choice, even tonight. Will you turn back? Will you turn back when it just doesn't seem practical, when it seems like it's just gonna be more and more loss? Will you ever turn back like that one widow, or will you commit your life like the other widow? And here's something else I want us all to see. The text that we have looked at tonight tells us that anybody can be saved. Anybody can be converted. The original hearers and the original readers of this text, they were Jewish. And for them to read this account There would have been this strong discomfort that really grated against their prejudices and their sensibilities. To read this account, they would have been scandalized. Reading about Ruth, and they'd be thinking, her? A Moabitess? Mixing her family and bloodline with God's people? And all that means is, no matter whether you've slept around all over town, or whether you've wasted your family's resources on your habit, or whether you've just been a general public nuisance. And you know that you're unworthy, that you're unlikely, and that you're unlovable. Anybody can be saved. Anybody can commit to Jesus for life. So in closing, three things. If all of this sinks in and it persuades you, you've got this persuasion, it's just not possible. I can't be loved, but Jesus loves me like no one else can. Well, first of all, It makes you less desperate. It makes you less desperate if you're single. The women at that time were nothing without a man. They felt like, I've got to have a man in order to be something. Jesus is the only son of man who takes nothings and gives them everything. It also makes you less alone if you're widowed or divorced. It makes you less worried if you want children but you don't have children. Because you enter into this community, this community of Jesus and the people, and they become family when you've got no family. And it gives you a father when your father's gone. The second thing is this, it frees you It frees you to walk away from what seems secure and comfortable. It frees you to walk away from that. Could God, could God be calling you to leave your home and to leave comfort and security and familiarity? Could God be calling you to attempt something in another world, to attempt, maybe to attempt foreign missions? Could God be calling you to step out and to bring another culture, another world into your home? Maybe to attempt foster care? Could God be pushing you to try something that seems like another world? To try urban ministry? To try evangelism ministry? To try ministry to those who are elderly but you're young? To try ministry to those who are homebound and you're well and young? The third thing is When this all sinks in and it becomes true and real for you, it gives you a heart. It gives you a heart for people from other places because you've got this conception, this picture that's always playing in your mind that Jesus was from another place. Jesus entered a foreign country. Jesus experienced rejection in the foreign country. Jesus became an immigrant. to find me and to bring me in. And that gives you an empathy for people from other places. Jesus was a foreigner. How can I welcome foreigners? Remember when Emmanuel Ambani, Ambani came and has spoken to us at different times, and he came from Cameroon. And he came here, and he's still here. But he related the common experience of so many immigrants, internationals, who are living here, who are living even in Norfolk. And what he disclosed was, they're lonely. Can you open your doors, open your tables, open your calendars? Can you help the lonely know that they are loved? Let's pray. Lord Jesus, we have been loved by you. And one of the things that you promise is that knowing you, we will never be alone. And you say, look, I will be with you always, even to the ends of the earth. And Lord, we thank you that you are all alone. You died alone on the cross, alone from us, alone from God, so that we could know that your spirit and the presence of Jesus and the Father would make a home within us always. Lord, I pray that the magnitude of your love for us would be great in our sight, and that we would have a love for others that's like the love you have shown us. Would you make it so in our individual lives? Would you make it so in our congregation? We ask for the glory and the likeness of Jesus. Amen.