Good morning, everyone. And happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there. We will recognize our mothers at the end of service. So if you didn't get a rose this morning, you're in luck. You'll get one today. At least one. Nearly as soon as we concluded last Sunday, I began thinking of this upcoming Sunday being Mother's Day. And if you were here last Sunday, we concluded our two and a half plus year study through the Gospel of John. And so there was this respite between that and what we pick up next. I'll be quite honest with you, Mother's Day, placed on calendar by man, no matter how important and how special and how good it is, it was placed on the calendar by man. and it's an important date, not directed by God because God tells us to honor our mothers every day. So I'm always a little bit torn when we come to Mother's Day and Father's Day and those kind of things and how we handle them as a church because yes, we should honor our fathers and our mothers, but we should do that every day, not just because some man put it on a certain day as a holiday. So make no mistake, mothers are definitely worthy of our honor and our praise. but not over the honor and praise of our Lord and our God. Like I said, we finished John, so it's a good time to pause. And Marty, I think, probably even anticipated the fact that where I told him I feel the Lord's leading us to go to next, he kind of picked the songs out based on that. So unless the Lord changes, or Marty kind of acts like they might fire me between now and next Sunday if I continue my ministry here, he said, so I don't know what that means. Maybe I'm getting a pink slip after the baptism this morning. We're probably gonna go to 1 Peter after this Sunday. But I did go back and looked at what I preached on in previous Mother's Days. In 2020, I wasn't, it was late in the year August of 2020 when I accepted the pulpit ministry here. I've been filling in though from February until August for those of y'all that were here back then. So this is the five year mark. Actually this year's five years that I've been here. 2020 was about, the portrait of a mother from John. And then in 2021, it was a charge to honor our mothers from the book of Ephesians. 2023 was a portrait of Samuel's mother, Hannah. 2023 was the identity crisis that I preached on and a couple of different responses there. 2024 last year was on Proverbs 31, a wise and virtuous woman. There are a lot of places we can go to to uncover what God says about womanhood. And quite frankly, there's no way we could cover all that in an hour anyway. This deserves a multitude of sermons to kind of unpack that. However, I do want to have a major focus on Proverbs 31 again this morning. Thinking about that, it's also been said that Father's Day is often utilized as a day when the man stands in the pulpit and beats up on the dads for all their shortcomings and their failures and their faults. Granted, we have plenty of those. And Mother's Day sermon is usually all about lifting up, praising while avoiding a challenge of any kind to mothers. Well, y'all know me well enough to know that that's kind of not how I work. And we've probably all found that largely to be true, that that's usually the way Father's Day and Mother's Day is typically handled. But if we're being faithful to God's word, and if we're speaking into this culture in which we live, both of these days of recognition, Father's Day, Mother's Days, should be a much more balanced approach to uplift fathers that need to be uplifted while challenging them. Likewise, praising and honoring our mothers while also challenging them. There should be a balance there, I believe, because the Bible is such a balanced book and speaks so balanced about these roles. And not just fathers and mothers, but men and women. There's a balanced approach we must have. This was further emphasized this week, because I struggled a little bit with where I'm going with this message today. And Malia and I had dinner last Thursday night with a couple of other pastors and their wives, and something we've been planning for quite some time. So we were able to go meet together, and eat together, and enjoy some fellowship together, and closed fish camp down. They were kind of running us out of there, because we stayed so long. But it was great conversation, great fellowship with other pastors and wives. We were discussing discipleship and Bible studies, and the men were kind of talking over here, and they're laying in the women on the other side of the table talking. But, you know, we're at the same table, so we're hearing what's being said somewhat. And I heard one of the pastor's wives make a comment very similar to what a very good friend of mine's wife has said many times when it comes to women's Bible studies. So my ears perked up because she said almost the exact same thing I've heard from a very good friend of mine. And this very good friend of mine has said that she doesn't like going to women's Bible studies very often because they usually devolve away from a Bible study into all kinds of other things instead of the Bible study itself. She admits there's a time and a place for that, for women to share their burdens and share their struggles. She said, but if we're here for a specific kind of study, let us do this study. Specifically what this pastor's wife said the other night, just in conversation, she ultimately summarized it by saying this, we need, comma, I need more Titus Two women in my life. I thought, okay, that's interesting that she would say that. What does she mean by that? Let's take a glance at that text of what she is referencing, Titus Two, verses three through five. Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips, nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may instruct the young women in sensibility, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be slandered." Her point was we need more women speaking into the life of other women and giving instruction and direction of how to be godly women. And I commend her for just coming out and saying that. I think she even admitted that she's kind of at that age now where she's transitioned from being the one that needs to be poured into to pouring into other women herself. But that really shouldn't be earmarked by an age either, I don't think. The spiritually mature women who may be in their 30s can speak life into these young ladies very easily. And they should. That's the first challenge, as I spoke to keeping a balanced approach to this. We also spoke about the cultural influences in regards to that and what the culture says about womanhood and what the culture says about the family. Now I'm not going to re-preach last year's Mother's Day message but many aspects of that sermon are still ringing in my ears so y'all get the ringing today too. Our culture once so focused on feminism, specifically coming out of the World War II experience, where the husbands and the sons and the men were overseas fighting this great evil, so the women had to do the work. They had to, to supply and support the war effort, to put food on the table, and because of this great evil that was in Europe and Asia and the Pacific. And out of that, And at its core, we began to see this perversion of God's plan, purpose, and direction really start to take deep root, I think. From a very good thing, we saw the enemy start using it for a very bad thing. Here's part of the perversion. Coming out of that, many women were told that their worth was directly connected by them breaking free from a biblical cultural norm or biblical worldview norm and the grace and the beauty and the embracing of God's high calling for women and to embrace or to reach for something, quote unquote, more, which isn't more at all. Anything that's split from God's view of women and womanhood and motherhood That's not more, that's very much less than what God has called women to be. The feminist movement at its core never was about lifting women out and up to a position they perceived as what they deserved, but rather it's a result of the age old lie of Satan all the way back to the dawn of man. God had created Eve as the perfect complement to man. his help mate not greater than not less than from his side to represent equal but different. Equal but different in role in perspective in task in everything about the body itself. equal in worth, dignity, and purpose to man, yet uniquely different in that purpose. Genesis 2, verses 18 through 25. They're not on the board. This is some of that last minute throw of verses in there thing that I do. Genesis 2, verse 18. Then Yahweh the Lord God said, it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. And out of the ground, Yahweh God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky. And he brought each to the man to see what he would call it. And whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. And the man gave names to all the cattle and to the birds of the sky, to every beast of the field. But for Adam, there was not found a helper suitable for him. So Yahweh God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man. And he slept. Then he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. And the Lord God fashioned the rib, which he had taken from the man into a woman. He brought her to the man. Then the man said, this one finally is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. This one shall be called woman because this one was taken out of man. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Perfectly created by God as a perfect complementary helper, and the vice versa is true as well, that the man is to help the wife in perfect complementarianism. Man in the role as head, but yet in equality with the woman. who was to be his companion in completeness and unity. Satan's first attack on humanity came in the form of attacking this union that God put together. Make no mistake, don't think about the fruit of the tree, which is just a tool he used. The attack was on this union and upon what God has said. It was an attack upon God. questioning God's purpose. Genesis three, verse one through four. Now the serpent was more crafted than any beast of the field, which Yahweh God had made. And he said to the woman, indeed, and has God said you should not eat from any of the tree of the garden? And the woman said to the serpent, from the fruit of the trees of the garden, we may eat, but from the fruit of the tree, which is in the midst of the garden, God said, you shall not eat from it and you shall not touch it lest you die. And the serpent said to the woman, you surely will not die. And we all know what happens next, don't we? But before we get there, let's pray. Father God, thank you for bringing us to this place this day. Lord, we thank you even though I made much of the fact that man has put this day on the calendar. Lord, we do pause to celebrate our mothers, our wives, those whom you've given to the gift of motherhood, but Lord, not just for them alone, for the single women, for those who perhaps have not had children, they still have a motherly influence on many other people, whether they be. teachers or Sunday school teachers or whatever role you might have. Lord, one of the most glorious, beautiful things about womanhood is how you use women to pour into the life of children. It is a high and lofty calling you've called women to. So Lord, let us pause to give thanks for your creative power and your purposes and what you've done. And let us honor our mothers as rightly we should. And Father, if there's something in this message today that you use to bring someone to repentance, that you might use to bring someone to saving faith, Lord, we would like to rejoice with angels in heaven and give you honor and glory and praise. In Christ's name I pray, amen. So we left off before we prayed with Satan coming to Eve and questioning what God has said. We know what happened next, don't we? The fall did, in fact, happen. She did take of the fruit. She did, in fact, give to her husband. They both ate. Their eyes were opened. Then came the curse. The serpent first, Genesis 3.15. And I will put enmity between you and the woman and between your seed and her seed. He shall bruise you on the head and you shall bruise him on the heel. We shared a couple of weeks ago, immediately after the curse or immediately after the fall, this is pointing towards a redeemer that will be coming. This is pointing to Christ Jesus. Then verse 16, to the woman, he said, I will greatly multiply your pain and conception and pain you will bear children. Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you. Before we get to the primary text, a couple of comments to make on this. Your desire for your husband is not the desire, the healthy desire within a marital relationship. This is a desire to go outside of the standards of what God has set forth as plan and purpose. To rule over is what he's saying there. So keep that in the back of your mind. Before we get into the primary text today, one more point. I've already mentioned feminism. Let me just say this out loud. Feminism is dead. The same people that brought it up are the same ones that killed it through their political stances, et cetera, et cetera. The damage has been done, though. The damage has been done in our culture. Why is it dead? Because it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to destroy the family. That was the purpose and plan of it, to destroy the family, and it wasn't enough to destroy the family. The nuclear family, the man and the woman and the family, was damaged, still is damaged. Why did it fail? Because God's plans and purposes do not fail. Ironically, the same type of people that spearheaded that movement did the same thing with the next cultural cancers to infect us. We see them today. The no-fault divorce. Easy to get a divorce. It's expensive, but easy. The sexual revolution. of the 60s and 70s. The homosexual revolution was next. Today, lines aren't just blurred or not just moved, but they're gone. Gender identity is the tune of the day and has effectively done more damage to the picture of the family and what true masculinity and true femininity is supposed to be than anything before it. And the battle continues. Succinctly, all these things I listed destroyed feminism. Because you can't support that last one and still support women's sports or women in whatever. You can't. What shall we do then? Shall we be discouraged? Dismayed? Is it all just a lost cause? No. God is still on his throne. God is still sovereign. We preach the truth. We tell the truth. And mothers, you may play the most critical role of all in this, because most of the time, you're spending more of the time with the children. You are rearing the next generation. It is a high, holy, glorious, praiseworthy calling, but it is not easy. I know I'm preaching to the choir. It is hard. You're fighting culture every day, protecting those little minds every day. One more thing before we look at the verses that I keep telling you we're going to. Look at the type of woman, the type of wife, the type of mother that you're to be. The seeming crumbling of culture around us is not outside of the sovereignty of God. He is still in control. He told us it was gonna happen, and it is happening. Romans 1. not on the board either, verses 18 through 32. Let me just read through this and see if you have seen, based on what I said earlier about this timeline of events that have happened, see if you see this playing out. Romans 1, starting in verse 18. For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness. Because that which is known about God is evident within them, for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world, his invisible attributes, both his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made so that they are without excuse. For even though they knew God, they did not glorify him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their thoughts and their foolish heart was darkened. All the precepts and promises of God thrown out the window. Professing to be wise, they became fools. and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the likeness of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures. This is where self-worship starts coming in. Therefore, God gave them over in the lust of their hearts to impurity so that their bodies would be dishonored among them. We're moving further along. For they exchanged the truth of God for lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the creator who is blessed forever, amen. For this reason God gave them over to dishonorable passions. For their females exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural. And in the same way also the males abandoned the natural function of the female and burned in their desire toward one another. Males with males committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error. And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them over to an unfit mind to do those things which are not proper, having been filled with unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil, full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice, they are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, violent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful, and although they know the righteous requirement of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, They do not only do the same, but they give hearty approval to those who practice them. So you don't have to be doing it anymore, you just say it's okay that they do it. Are we there? Now, let us finally, you might be saying, turn to Proverbs. Proverbs 31 primarily, familiar to many, especially this time of year, We often even hear comments about being a Proverbs 31 woman. There are books written about being a Proverbs 31 woman. There are ministries, Proverbs 31 woman. This is the last chapter of Proverbs. And the book of Proverbs is a book of knowledge and understanding and teaching, right? That's what the Proverbs are. This is the last chapter of it. It serves as a bookend to this entire collection of wisdom teachings. It began in Proverbs 1, and we're gonna just touch on a couple verses here. Early on, we see Solomon, who didn't write the 31st, but Solomon's purpose in Proverbs 1, 1 through 5. The Proverbs of Solomon, the son of David, king of Israel, to know wisdom and discipline, and disciple, I'm sorry, discipline. To understand the sayings of understandings, to receive discipline that leads to insight, righteousness, justice, and equity, to give prudence to the simple, to the youth, knowledge, and discretion, let the wise man hear an increase in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire guidance. To understand a proverb and an enigma, the words of the wise and their riddles, the fear of Yahweh the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. Ignorant fools despise wisdom and discipline. Hear my son your father's discipline and do not abandon your mother's instruction for they are garland of grace for your head and ornaments about your neck. So that's how Proverbs starts. Now we're gonna look at how this book concludes. But before we do that, as we shift to that, we're introduced to King Lemuel. Y'all ever heard his name anywhere else in scripture? The answer to that is no. He's not found anywhere else in scripture. We don't know a ton about him except that he's not a Hebrew king. We just don't know much about him. But in this collection in the book of Proverbs, we see bursting forth with wisdom and with instruction. It's important to see the first nine verses before we get to the more well-known verses of 10 through 31. He introduces himself and the words that his mother had given to him. His mother, what oh my son and what oh son of my womb, oh what son of my vows. Emphasizing her position and her authority to speak to the king because she's his mother. And saying, I'm gonna give you insight, perhaps that she had entreated to God for him just like Samuel's mother Hannah had. And then she goes on, or he goes on with recording what she said, do not give your excellence to women or your ways to that which blots out kings. So this is instructions to abstain from sexual immorality. It's not a prohibition against marriage, as she will soon describe to him the type of wife to look for. He's saying don't give yourself to other women. Don't give yourself to all these other things. Preserve, protect, keep yourself for this woman she's about to describe. And then as she goes on, It is not for kings, O Lemuel. It is not for kings to drink wine or for rulers to desire strong drink, lest he drink and forget what is decreed and pervert the justice of all the afflicted. So she's saying this is an admonition against being a drunk as a leader, as it clouds judgment and you can't make the right decisions. And then she goes on. Give strong drink to him who is perishing and wine to those whose soul was bitter. Let him drink and forget his poverty and he will not remember his trouble any longer. This is reserved to those who are truly suffering in life. And then before we jump into the meat of the text today, open your mouth for the mute, for the justice of all those passing away, open your mouth, judge righteously and render justice to the afflicted and needy. This is the mother speaking to the king of how he should be as a righteous, just ruler. Be just and righteous. All this speaks about his character. And then it shifts. And then it shifts to these last set of verses. And the importance of having a good spouse. And I know you're thinking, but brother, this is Mother's Day. We're talking about a spouse, everything else. This is the most important thing to speak about first. His mother shifts to the importance of a wife and future mother, specifically a wise and virtuous one, as we know the text speaks of a wise and virtuous woman. Something very interesting before we jump in, I don't know how many of your Bibles have it broke out. I have a single column Bible, which makes it easier, instead of the paragraph form, but verse 10 through 31, you may have a copy of God's word that has this strange looking word above each one of these verses. And it's a Hebrew, and it's Aleph and Beth and Gamil, and it goes on and on and on. There's 22 of them, there's 22 verses left. Those 22 verses start with the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet, Aleph, and then it goes on. The next letter of the Hebrew alphabet starts the next verse. So we're seeing poetic form here. Why does the writer do it in that such way, in this kind of acrostic type way? Because it's easier to remember. This is something that he is to commit to his memory. You remember it. We use similar language as students, perhaps. I know I remembered how to look at the colors of the rainbow with an acronym, ROYGBIV, anybody else learn it that way? Red, orange, yellow, et cetera. Same thing with this, you're to remember it because of the way it's laid out in the Hebrew alphabet. A, B, C, D is how each verse starts. Why? Because you're supposed to commit this to memory, he's telling her. She's telling him, I'm sorry. So let's start off with this. An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above pearls. Who can find? This is a mother telling her son it is of utmost importance to find an excellent wife. A suitable partner, the right life partner. Folks, life is hard enough. Life is hard enough. It's filled with sorrows, it's filled with pain. Being in union with a spouse should be helpful, not hurtful. Should not make it more difficult in life. That's what she's telling him. More valuable than, depending on your translation, valuable jewels. Some of y'all says rubies or pearls. Really, it's a generic word for extremely valuable jewels. After dealing with his character, the king's character, for nine verses, the next 22 deal with the excellent wife. John MacArthur says what we see here in regards to the excellent wife's character is broken down to six main characteristics. So if you want to just take one thing away, pull it back up. If you want to take six things away, here are the six things to take away. The main characteristics that she points out. who this woman is as a wife, who this woman is as a homemaker, who this woman is in her generosity to neighbors, to others, who this woman is in her influence as a teacher, who she is as an effective mother, and the primary thing he mentions is who she is in regards to her devotion to God. Now, this isn't describing a specific woman. This is not the mother saying, OK, I know this lady over here. I'm going to describe her and hand this to my son. It's a broad approach, but it is a portrait of a godly woman. Therefore, it's important for current single women, as well as for wives, for mothers, for granddaughters, for teenage girls, for little girls, for little boys and teenage boys and single men to hear this laid out. It's a guide for single men and what to look for, and it's the example or standard for young women and for older women. These have practical, easily recognizable characteristics, culminating in her spiritual condition being the most important. We often would just pull Proverbs 31 and go to those verses that were on the screen to begin with, right, about the motherhood part. She doesn't start there. She goes through all these other things and is giving it to him. What is the opposite of this woman? Who is the opposite of this woman? Well, I'm glad you asked. A contentious wife is a constant burden to her husband. Scripture tells us that too. Proverbs 19, 13 and 14. A foolish son is destruction to his father, and the contentions of a wife are a constant dripping. House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, but a wife who is inside is from Yahweh the Lord. I think if you have other translations, it says a quarreling. Before we go any further though, because some of you guys might be getting a little comfortable in your chairs. Before we go any further, it's important to point out you men aren't perfect. This man is far from perfect. You can cause much damage to your bride. Much damage to your bride. Proverbs 20, verse five through seven. Counseling the heart of a man is like deep water, but a man of discernment draws it out. Many a man will call out his own loving kindness, but a faithful man who can find. A righteous man who walks in his integrity, how blessed are his sons after him. It's easy for a man to call out his own loving kindness and look at what I've done. Faithful isn't just talking about in regards to unfaithfulness adultery. Faithful to your wife. Faithful to the bride of which God has given to you. Supporting, uplifting, being there for her. It's easy for us to run these verses about years. You're supposed to, you know, I'm ahead. You do what I say. We can do so much damage to our wives. Children, you can do so much damage to your mothers. An excellent wife, when found, is more valuable than anything a man can ever attain on this earth. You might think, well, what about salvation? I'm talking, that's the eternal, I'm talking about on this earth. We men can also tarnish and do so much damage to such a wife. I've said many times, and I'll say again, the person you are closest to is the person that will often hurt you the most. The most precious thing a man will ever have is a woman that we're about to describe. To stand with him, to comfort him, to uplift him, to tell him the hard things, to be faithful to him, to love and nurture their children, and most importantly, to love the Lord. Let's look at these character traits. Verse 11, the heart of her husband trusts in her and he will have no lack of gain. What does that mean? The most important relationship in the home is between the husband and the wife. Now, we live in a culture that means, when they say what I'm about to say, they mean something. They're not looking for something wrong, but it's wrong when they say, my children are everything to me. We are to raise our children so that they will go out and start a life and be productive members of society and follow and trust the Lord. The relationship in the home, the most important relationship in the home is between that husband and that wife, the mother and the father. That is a picture of the church too, by the way. It's Christ being the bridegroom and the church being the bride. That's the most important relationship in the home. that reflects on and in the children as well. Even if they may push back on it and act like they don't see it, that is what the children need to see is a healthy, thriving relationship between the husband and the wife. The most important aspect of that relationship is trust. It's not love first, it's trust first. Without trust, everything else crumbles. the heart of her husband, trust in her, and he will have no lack of gain. Not just fidelity, not just, I'm not talking about adultery again. You can be emotionally checked out. Someone to talk to, someone to be open with, to discuss what troubles you. The husband should be able to go away to work to provide trusting her faithfulness to him, her faithfulness to the family, and her faithfulness above all else to God. She desires his well-being and he knows it. They share burdens in trust. There should also be a growing trust as the years go by in marriage. as well throughout the life of the marriage. Once trust is compromised, it is nearly impossible to regain it and build it back. The analogy I have in my head all the time, this isn't a biblical analogy, this is a Greg analogy, okay? Trust is like a home that's been built, and you've got the foundation, and you build, and you build, and you build, and then a fire comes. Something destroys that trust and wipes it all out. If the foundation's secure, you can build it back. But it's not easy. And it takes time, sweat, tears. What is the foundation, though, is key. Is it the foundation in the Lord? Is it the foundation in the lustful, emotional feelings when you first got together? Or is it your foundation in the Lord? Also, no lack of game. The same description of a woman's role was given in 1 Timothy 5 when speaking of taking care of the home, 1 Timothy 5, 14. Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no opportunity for reviling. She handles the assets of the house appropriately, she's not wasteful, and trust continues to grow. She deals bountifully with him, verse 12, for good and not evil all the days of her life. She is particularly focused on others' needs, and that begins with her husband. Remember, this is a wife, a mother, telling her son what to look for. This little phrase literally means in good times and bad in the original language. She is to be his biggest supporter, protecting his character, more on that in a little bit. She wants him to be happy and joyful, to know she loves and cares for him. Duty and devotion and love are on display here. And the husband is to love his wife. Again, man, I hope you're not getting comfortable getting in your chair because I'm about to give you something else. Ephesians 5, 25 through 27. Husbands, love your wives. If it stopped right there, you'd be like, yeah, I can love her. Just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her. so that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and blameless. Men, there's nobody sitting here who loves their wife like Christ loved the church. There's no one who ever listened to this message at any time in the future that loves their wife like Christ loved the church. It's like when Jesus, the Sermon on the Mount, he said, what's the standard? Sermon on the Mount. What's the standard for the Christian life? To be perfect as my father in heaven is perfect. It's a standard we will never reach, but we're to reach for every day. We'll never get there. But what does it really mean? He tells us, gave himself up for her. That's really the meat of what we can do here on this earth. Give ourselves up for our wife. Does that mean you're gonna go die for her? Well, you should be willing to, but really what it's saying is just an extension of what the whole Christian life is. die to self daily. You die to self daily. Both of these relationships, the husband and the wife, is built upon that, the trust, yes, and the fact that it's not about me. If everything in my life is pointing to what can I do for my wife and what can I do for my family in service and servitude to God, And she's doing likewise. I'm gonna tell you right now, problems go away. You still have the financial things we gotta wrestle with and all the things of this world, but in regards to the relationship itself, it's the same thing with the Christian life. It's the most selfless thing we can do to just give ourselves away. What I want doesn't matter as much as what my wife needs. And vice versa, it works both ways. Verses 13 through 24 of Proverbs 31 deal with her managing of the home. Now this is a concept completely foreign to many in our culture today. Largely because of the culture we discussed at the outset of this sermon, outside work isn't prohibited though, okay? Let me say that, outside work is not prohibited. Many try to take that stance, but that's not what the Bible says. But it is not to be the primary focus or intent of the woman's responsibility. Because, quite frankly, it's hard to survive on one income these days, isn't it? It's extremely hard. It's doable, but it's very hard. We've basically done that for nearly 17 years. Malia has her own business, but it's not a full-time, it's a seasonal type thing, and it's hard. I know, it's hard. Verse 13, she searches for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight. Well, that's kinda, I don't understand what that's saying, brother. I'm gonna help. She finds what she needs to perform her task and she enjoys doing it and it brings her honor and glory. She finds what she needs to perform her task. She's industrious, verse 14 tells us. She is like merchant ships. She brings her food from afar. Again, that's kind of contrary to how we're living here in Hickman County. What's merchant ships? We're not going down to the docks. The Duck River doesn't have a bunch of flotilla coming in that we go get our goods and services from. What it means is she is industrious. She's not idle or lazy. It's not a matter of reluctant self-denial. It's not gritting of teeth that, ah, I've got to give up something I want to do. It's done for in a joyful way. This type of woman is giving herself to those who she loves. Like a merchant ship from afar speaks to her willingness to go the extra mile to take care of her household. Whatever it takes, I'll go do it. That's what it's talking about. A merchant ship that knows what it needs and it's not at the next dock or it's not at the next port. We're gonna go as far as we have to go to get what we need to take care of those I love. That's what that's talking about in today's context. She rises while it is still night and gives food to her household and a portion to her young women. In those days, she would have to rise before the sun came up because the husband's leaving the house at sun up. He's got to go to work. So in those days, she had to rise before the sun, make sure that his day started off correctly and the entire household started off correctly. This responsibility was taken seriously and also, remember, there's no refrigerators, there's no microwaves, there's no coffee pots. I mean, everything's done from scratch right then. This makes me think of something whenever I managed a crew and this, you might say, I don't see how the parallel works, but I think there's definitely a parallel to this of, I used to remember before I'd send my team out every single day, no matter how hard I had to get on them about something they had done, No matter what kind of instruction or safety brief or whatever I had to tell them about that morning, I'd always remember that the last thing they leave that place with that morning would stick with them for hours throughout the day, if not all day. And I would give them something uplifting and comforting before they would leave that crew room every single morning. Because you carry that heart and that hurt for a long time. She made sure that her family started off their day right, or as best that she could. Verse 16, she makes plans for a field and buys it. From the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard. She identifies something that would benefit the family and she takes action to secure it. This increase is for the family and for the provision of the family. What about money? You're thinking, well, where's our money coming from to do this? Well, we're gonna get to that. It'll tell us. This is a busy woman. She's not idle. She's not slack. She's up early. She's busy throughout the day. But she's doing all of it out of love and benefit for the family. Not to increase her own self-worth. Her identity is not found in what she's doing. The man was still the primary provider, but she was to help increase and help the family in any way she could. Verse 17, she girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong. You're like, whoa, wait a minute. Just throw that verse out. I mean, she's into this, you know, some kind of CrossFit or something. Not that she's focused on working out or something like this, but because of her diligence and her commitment, she is healthy. Have you ever noticed, you know, the more you do, you might be sore. especially as we're younger, but being in motion helps everything. Sitting around being idle or slack, I heard, you know, many of y'all know about John McArthur and his health issues he's had recently, and he had a couple of major surgeries, and he said that when he got out, he had to heal from the surgeries, but he also had to heal from the time in the hospital when he was just laying around, and if y'all ever had a hospital stay, you can relate to that. You have to overcome that, but you also have to overcome just the slackness and the idleness that you have to go through sometimes. We handle major surgeries a little bit differently most of the time now, knee surgeries and stuff like that. They try to get you up and moving because they understand that. You can't just lay around. But more importantly, her strength and her commitment come from her working for the household and because of her relationship to the Lord. We'll see that in just a moment. She senses that her gain is good. Her lamp does not go out at night. She understands this is good, this is holy, this is righteous, this is good to take care of my family. Pleasing the Lord, her husband, her children, not doing it for personal gain or for praise, but because it is good and because it is right. She shall receive a reward of praise and honor from her husband, her children, and we're about to see from everybody that knows her because of the kind of person she is. Her lamp doesn't go out. She's physically busy, but her personal lamp also, I think, it shines brightly as a beacon of virtue, of wisdom, of devotion. People see her as this bright light and this example of womanhood and motherhood and as being a wife. To me, I think of it this way. The woman, the wife, the mother is often the North Star or the lighthouse for the family. To take the focus off of her, you'll come crashing into the rocks of the rocky shoreline because she's to be the lighthouse for the family. She gives wholly of herself, selflessness. I've said it before, I'll say it again this morning already. If we were all better at giving of ourselves and being selfless, all of our relationships would be so much better. Every single relationship would be so much better. That's a struggle we all have. We want to please self first. She stretches out her hands to the staff and her hands hold fast the spindle, back to her gathering, working what she needs to do, doing it diligently, knowing it is good and beneficial. She extends her hand to the poor. She stretches out her hands to the needy. She's generous to those in need. She's generous to those in need. 21, she is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She doesn't fear the future. She's not anxious for what might come. Why? She is prepared and she is committed and she is doing what she should be doing. For her family and herself. She makes coverings for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple. She's prepared for what she needs, and she's made it for her family and for herself. Not just for comfort, but also as she could continue her work. Not cheap threadbare, that's the point here. It's not cheap threadbare, it's not just whatever we can find. Remember, she's going off to get what she needs. She's finding the best, she's doing the best. Dignified in color and quality. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits with the elders of the land. Well, what does that mean? We don't do a lot of gates sitting at the, you know, with the elders of the land these days. But that's where the leaders would be in the city. They would hang out at the city gates. They're saying her husband is known, not for how good he is, her husband is known because of what kind of example his wife is. And the elders know him because of her, as much as because of what he has done and accomplished. The others are envious of him because of the type of wife he has. She makes linen garments and sells them and gives belts to the tradesmen. Okay, now we see where the money's coming from, right? She's doing this work and she's doing so much of it and it's been such a blessing to her that she's able to even sell. She gives to the poor and needy, but she sells to those who can afford to buy. So she's making her own money too. So to kind of go back to the point of saying woman can't work, she's doing it. And being quite successful, apparently, because she can go buy a field. Strength and majesty are her clothing, and she smiles at the future. She's prepared. She loves the Lord, and she knows that the future bring no calamity to her that they cannot overcome. More important than what you say or what you do is your character. She's clothed with spiritual strength and majesty. Her character is consistent, strong, unwavering. She can smile at the future because she is consistent. She doesn't fall into temptation. She does good. She brings honor to her household and her family. A person such as this, trusting God, can smile at the future. Trusting Him, but also knowing they are doing what is good and proper. And not just kick back thinking, I know God's gonna take care of it tomorrow. No, she's industrious. She's putting her hand to the plow. Not bringing reproach on themselves or her husband or her children. She's dignified and elevated a person to emulate. What about her character, though? Verse 26, she opens her mouth in wisdom and the instruction of love and kindness is on her tongue. Spiritual commitment, commitment to her family and to those less fortunate proves she is wise and worth listening to. Would you not listen to a woman such as this? Here she exercises that wisdom. She's a helpful guide for her husband and her children and everyone else within her sphere of influence. People seek her counsel. Proverbs 1.8, remember this verse, we read it earlier. Hear my son your father's discipline, this is Solomon, and do not abandon your mother's instruction. She watches over the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Reiterating her focus and her commitment first to those of her household, not resting in their need. What is the result of this woman living this life? What is the purpose in this? And she's doing so to the glory of God. Why is this woman who you should strive to be, who is she? Who is this woman that the single man should look for and look to? Because some of this you're thinking, well, if I'm a young single guy, I don't know any of this stuff about her yet, right? Is she gonna do all these things? I don't know. It's a good question. You see it in her character. Verse 28, 29. Her children rise up and bless her. As for her husband, he also praises her, saying, many daughters have done excellently, but you have gone above them all. Now these are the verses, when we think about a Proverbs 31 woman, right? And we see the cards, this is the only text we go to. Look at everything before it that points us and drives us to this woman. She's highly esteemed by her children, by her husband, not perfect. She's not a perfect woman, we don't see that anywhere, but she's honored and she's praised by those who know her the best. Who knows her best? Her husband and her children. As her children grow older, they respect and the reverence only grows, realizing everything that she sacrificed for them. Men, husbands, oftentimes we don't realize everything she's sacrificing for us either. Definitely we don't as children until later in life when we look back and look back at what mama sacrificed for you, and then you see it. Is there a greater reward for a mother than verse 28 and 29? Her husband rise up and bless her. As for her husband, he also praises her, saying, many daughters have done excellently, but you have gone above them all. What is he saying? I know a lot of good women. I got a lot of good mothers, a lot of good wives, but you, outshine them all. And finally, most important than everything else we've said this morning, verse 30. Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. This woman reveres God above all else. Seeking to please and honor him leads to how she acts with her husband and her children. You cannot overemphasize that. The relationship with the Lord should be seen in all your other relationships. And first and foremost, it's between husband and wife. The woman who truly loves, honors, and fears the Lord to be this woman. Proverbs 9, 10, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. Verse 31, give to her from the fruit of her hands and let her works praise her in the gates. Praiseworthy indeed. This woman should be sought for, young men. Not a lot of young men in here, but young men. This woman should be who you pray God will conform you to, ladies. She is deserving of heaping praise. You may think, brother, this is impossible. Thank you for ruining my mother's day. Sin, our current culture, has so polluted the standards today that we're looking to the wrong place for affirmation of what a woman should be, what a wife should be, and what a mother should be. Let us conform to what God has said. One other thing I want to say, We are to look to God, he changes not. The culture shifts and sorts and just goes deeper and deeper into debauchery. God does not change. The standard here is the standard today. The standard I read about for men and how they treat their wives is the same today as it was when Paul wrote that letter to Timothy. And when he wrote the letter to the church at Ephesus. We could have gone so many places today to lay this out. We could have preached on this for another month. to lay out the responsibilities of the wife and mothers and womanhood, but I was led back here. I'm deeply grateful for the mothers here. I'm deeply grateful for my mother and my grandmother. I want to thank y'all. I want to praise you for this high calling that God has placed upon your life to rear children, to be such an important influence in the lives of the next generation. But I also want to challenge you through what we just read. I don't want you to leave here downtrodden and say, well, I'll never reach these things that are laid out here. I want you to feel loved. I want you to feel the gratitude of your children and those that aren't your children that just recognize your womanhood. And recognizing this high holy calling that God has put in your life. And as I said before, single women, women that don't have children, You're no less than the mother that has 10 children. You have a unique role and responsibility and a point of emphasis that God has put in your life to speak truth into the lives of others. He created women that way. If you think, brother, I understand the teaching, it's clear. I didn't have to explain a whole lot there, did we? It's clear. The world is wrong and God is right. and we've all fallen very short of the standard that I've laid out here for men and women both. Praise God that he has provided for us this truth. Our God is merciful, he's gracious. Beseech him as you desire to honor him more in the standards, in womanhood and manhood, that he would give you the grace to pursue these ideals more today than yesterday. I'm gonna say this again as we close. Mothers carry a tremendous responsibility in the life of children and in culture. Culture. As I've said, you spend more time with children, typically, in the family life, but this culture needs biblical women. It needs men that'll stand and trumpet the truths of God's word and will be raised families. But women are so, such a linchpin to what's going on in our culture, to hold it together. So I thank you ladies. I thank God for the wonderful gift that he's given to you as a woman. Equal to man. Equal to man, but different. Different roles, different responsibilities, not less than. The last thing I'll say before we close, and I know I've gone a little long-winded today and we got other stuff to do too, but ladies, as important as motherhood is, as important as being a wife is, your identity is not primarily found in those titles and those gifts. Your identity is found in who you are in Christ Jesus. And because of that relationship, everything else flows. Father God, we thank you for the time you've given to us today. I thank you for the instructions. I thank you for the direction. I thank you for the truthfulness of your word. Lord, I thank you for the mothers in our midst today. Those that might be listening. I thank you for womanhood and how beautiful it is. The only thing that could complete Adam on this earth was the perfect helpmate, and that is woman. I want to praise your holy name. I want to thank you. I hope that you uplift these ladies that are here today, Lord, that you would comfort them and give them peace and strength and realize that. They are enough in you. That you breathe life into them, Lord. I pray that you give encouragement to our mothers. That you would take hold of them and comfort them. Lord, that these. Men that are here would love their wife strongly. Watch out for them. Keep them safe. Comfort them and love them. Father, we love you and we thank you in Christ name, Amen.