The following message is brought to you by Baltimore Bible Church. For more information about this ministry, please visit us online at www.baltimorebiblechurch.org. So let's now open our Bibles and follow along as we loose the scriptures and let them speak. Heavenly Father, we thank you God so much for this morning that we can gather together to think about you, to hear from your word. Father, not only to hear your word, Lord, but to think about the ways that we can apply it in our lives and there's no more important place. to apply your word than in our marriages. So Father, I pray that you would help us to think rightly, to think deeply, Lord, and just to think personally, Lord, about the application of your word to our lives today. Father, we pray for just strength and grace for your servant, Pastor Matt White. Father, we look forward to hearing from him, as well as from his wife. Father, we pray that you'd allow us to take the things that we learn here, Lord, not only to apply to our lives, but also to share it with others who aren't here today, Father, that we'd be able to spread the teaching, Lord, that we receive here to those couples that we might have an opportunity to get together with, to meet with, to share a word, Lord, that we've learned, Lord, and just see that just filter through the rest of the church. Father, we thank you, God, so much for this place where we can gather together and have a meeting like this. And Father, we just pray that you're honored and glorified in all that's said and done. this morning. Father, we pray that you'd hear our prayers, that you'd receive our worship, and that you'd bless us with your word. In Jesus' name we praise you and give you thanks. Amen. So this morning I have the privilege of introducing a dear friend to you, Pastor Matt White and his wife Amy. I got to know Pastor Matt during my time out at the Master's Seminary. He was the children's ministry pastor out at Grace Community Church. He's a native of West Virginia, so don't hold that against him. Just joking. He's a graduate of Appalachian Bible College and the Master's Seminary as well, and now he's the pastor of Bellcroft Bible Church in Bowie, Maryland. So very thankful for him and for his wife being here with us today. They've been married for 23 years, am I right? almost 23 years and they have four children, so very thankful to have them and being able to share their experience and the wisdom from the word of God with us, which is what we most want to hear as we gather together is to hear from God himself. So, Pastor Matt, come on up and bless us with the word. What a blessing it is to be here with you. I'm humbled to be a part of this. I'm excited. I'm so thankful for your pastor. I know you know this, but I think it's healthy and helpful for you to hear it from someone outside. You are immensely blessed beyond more than you can even imagine. to have a pastor like George. He not only is a godly man who loves his wife and family, but more importantly, as you're going to learn as we go through this time together, as great as that is, there's a greater love that supersedes that, that should drive everything, and that is a love for God and His Word. And your pastor is one in which his whole life radiates that, and therefore the love he has for his wife and children is nothing more than a fruit of that love that he has for his Heavenly Father and the Word. It's a joy for me to be his friend because he makes me a better man and a better pastor. So when we were looking at a number of churches and we saw this one in Maryland, we started getting serious about potentially coming here. One of the great joys on our hearts was to be able to be this close to George and Jennifer as well as Pastor Tom at HOPE. So praise the Lord. Feel free to make fun of me for being from West Virginia. I'll just tell you that right now, you have full freedom to do that. Everybody does. When I was at Grace Community Church, I had the, it's still kind of comical to think that I was on staff at Grace Community Church, because it was never a dream. I remember actually when they asked me about it the first time, I said no, because I thought they were joking. And I went home and told Amy, and she said, how was your day? I said, oh, it was kind of strange. She said, well, what was wrong? I said, well, they asked me about going on staff and being one of the pastors. And she said, well, what did you say? I said, no. And she said, what do you mean you said no? I said, well, they were clearly joking. They wouldn't ask me to do that. She said, I don't think they joke about that. So eventually, when it happened, and I was talking with Pastor John, and I said, have you ever hired anybody from West Virginia to be on your staff? No exaggeration. Don't tell anybody. And that's actually, Matt, you were there one night. We had Pastor John come and speak at a children's ministry gathering. You were the guard. You were his bodyguard that night. I remember you were sitting on the front row. Amy and I were there with he and Patricia. And he got up and started telling jokes about moonshine and Matt White. So I'm used to jokes on West Virginia. It haunts me, trust me. It rolls off the back. I can take it. some of the West Virginia isms will come out no doubt that's the way it works but if you have your copy of God's Word I think it would be helpful start this morning our time together in this day of really remembering and reflecting on the beauty and priority of marriage as it has been designed by God we want to start in his word we want to filter all that we say through his word but turn in your copy of God's Word to Psalm Psalm 127. This is a great place to start. This will set our trajectory for our time together as well as our mindset. Psalm 127, verse 1. The Word of the Lord says, Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. This is a powerful passage as it pertains to marriage, to family, to home life, to everything. The Lord must be about building the home. The Lord must be about building the marriage. Because anything other than that, as the scripture says so clearly, will be in vain. I'm afraid for many of us, we lose sight of that. And we take the hammer out of the hand of God and start to build our homes and our marriages ourselves. And then we wonder why the walls are starting to fall down. And so in many ways, what this weekend is, is a reminder for many of us, some of you it might be, there might be some fresh information, but for most of us, this will be a reminder. And I don't apologize about that because that is truly the ministry of the word and the ministry of the pastor is one of recollection, not one of innovation. So I'm not coming here to try to wow you by some new insight. If that's what you're looking for, then I'm gonna let you down. But if you're here to be reminded of things you already probably know, then you're going to you're in safe company because that's the way that's the ministry of the word. That's the ministry of the Lord's day. We get together. We will tomorrow. And George will be at Belcroft and I'll be at Baltimore Bible Church. And I'm excited about that. And I'm going to just remind you of the things God has already declared. And that's a blessing. And so that's what we'll do today. But starting in this passage, we learn really quickly that unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. The Word and your relationship, and I'm going to repeat this over and over again in like a hundred different ways, so I'm telling you now so that you walk away with what I think is the most important truth that you can learn today or be reminded of. The Word and your relationship with Him is the bedrock for a beautiful marriage that honors and blesses all those you come in contact with. Your relationship with the Lord and your submission to the scriptures is in every way the secret to a successful marriage. If you want to know the secret to a successful marriage, that's it right there. It's not rocket science. It is. It is loving the Lord God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind. And then out of that, the fruit of that is what? Loving your neighbor, i.e. your spouse as yourself. And that's it. That's really what it boils down to. It's nothing more than that. It's nothing less than that. It ultimately is your love for God spilling over into your love for your spouse. And where does that love then get fostered, get fed, get fertilized? Through the scriptures. So a love for God is never devoid of submission to the scriptures, right? They go hand in hand. And that's what really this weekend's really all about. is like the most crucial building materials used in crafting a custom home, like this one. This is pretty custom. I don't think I've ever walked up marble steps in a home before. It's pretty amazing. Your marriage is much like that. Your marriage is within it, is like the materials used to build a custom home. Think about it biblically speaking. Before you're supposed to have a family with children, God calls you to have a godly marriage. This is his design. And it is that godly marriage, that godly relationship between a husband and spouse that creates the materials that God then uses to build the home, right? And so when those materials aren't used rightfully, or those materials aren't used at all, then the house begins to be built without walls. And you can imagine a house without walls. What happens when a storm blows and you don't have walls? Or you have like, here you go, here's a West Virginia one, and I've seen this. You have houses with cardboard walls. There are such places in West Virginia. We've seen them. We've been through those towns. And they have literally, they literally have cardboard walls. in their houses. They don't make it through the winter, right? So many of our marriages are much like that, right? We're building a home with cardboard walls because, what I just said, we're building the home. Psalm 127 makes it really clear that God must be the builder of the home. And while that sounds simplistic, what is scary about it is we forget that and we take the hammer out of his hands. The reality is your marriage is much like the floor joists, much like the beams, much like the timbers that hold up a home. And the strength of your marriage will often direct and dictate the strength of your home. So one of the reasons why this weekend is so serious is because the impact, the impact that your marriage has upon your home, your children, and their homes, right? For those of you who are older and have grandchildren and have children who are married, Never forget this, that your children need you more now than they did when they were in diapers. We lose sight of that. We think, you know, my children need me now. I have, have you ever heard of family planning? We didn't. So we have everything from teenage daughters with hormonal issues to a three-year-old son in diapers. We didn't think that through. Yeah, not very good. But Lord uses it in our sanctification, and he's growing us, so we have a 15-year-old, an almost 14-year-old, a nine-year-old, and a three-year-old. Like what happened there? Yeah, God is blessing us and teaching us. But the reality is as desperate as my three-year-old wild son needs us now, he's gonna need us 10 times more 20 years from now. And that is a truth that we often lose sight of in marriages. So the fact that we've been married 23 years and many of you have been married longer than that, we often kick it in neutral. Right? And we're like, all right, our kids are out of the house. They're in college. They're married. We're good. We're done. you've just gotten started in so many ways. So the strength of your marriage needs to continue to grow because it feeds the marriages of those around you, not only your children, but your friends. This is an exciting thing about this weekend is because we're feeding one another, we're encouraging one another through this. So your marriage is in every way materials used to build a custom home, but not only your home, the homes around you. And so as God is building this home, he's building others. God designed that marriage in so many ways, your marriage. God designed it to be the thermostat in your home. Okay, and George connects with this. He already knows where I'm going as a heating and air conditioning guy, right? The thermostat does what to the home? It controls the environment. Okay, your marriage in your home is to be the controlling mechanism of your environment. So your children's lives ultimately are controlled, they're guided and directed by the stability that your marriage brings into that home. That's God's design, that you would be a thermostat in your home, the husband and the wife in your one flesh relationship. Sadly, if we're honest, we are not the thermostat, we're the thermometer. our marriages are controlled by the environment. A thermometer moves up and down based upon the climate where it's situated. So especially when you have young children, the marriage is often controlled by the children, not the other way around. Or often controlled by the job, or even as pastors, often controlled by the ministry, right? Your marriage has now become the thermometer, not the thermostat. And so, but when God builds the home, he's building a thermostat. He's building a place by which you are an ambassador, a representative. Your home is a mini embassy, right, for Christ in this world. And around you, everything in so many ways is impacted and controlled by the love and the truth that's radiated from that marriage. It's amazing. And that's God's design, and that's what he's building, and that's what he desires. And so the goal for For me, for this seminar today, is that as we come together under God's word, we will be reminded of this ultimate truth that God really wants our marriages to be the building materials by which we help others build their marriages as he's building all of our marriages together, right? that our marriages would be a thermostat, not a thermometer, that God would use our marriages to the praise of his glory to continue his work of ministry, both in the home and out of the home. You know, the seriousness of marriage is seen on so many levels, and it's gonna come out multiple times as we work through different texts this morning and today. But one of the things that we were talking about earlier is the interplay, the interconnection, the inseparable link between the church and the home. You see this throughout the scripture, right? They are inseparably linked. They are undeniably connected. There's a symbiotic relationship always between the home and the church. You see this even with pastors and elders, right? Where does a pastor and elder always start? Where is he proven in the home? A pastor and elder is disqualified if his home is disruptive, right? It's in the home that it begins. So in that sense, in so many ways, the home actually feeds the church, right? So it's the man of God that is learning how to walk with God and lead his family in God that then is ready and prepared to go in and lead the church of God. So it begins there in so many ways, right? But then what happens with the church? The church turns around and even with that man and all the other men and women and families in the church, the church is feeding them and strengthening them and sends them where? Right back into the home. And so you have this cycle that is nonstop where the home is growing. Parents are evangelizing their children. The number one disciplers are the parents of the children. They're discipling them. They're evangelizing them. They're then seeing them grow and, by God's grace, come to the knowledge of salvation and come to Christ. And then what? They're ushered into the church through salvation, right? And then they grow up in the church, and they're being discipled there. And then what? They cycle right back into their own home. And it's just this beautiful symbionic relationship. But when the home breaks down, As it often does, guess what happens to the church? That cycle has been broken, and the church is weakened. God's designed from the beginning, as we'll see. The home comes first. And yet, the home, as we'll see in Ephesians 5, the marriage, was always designed by God to be this inseparable link to the church. It's amazing to see this interplay played out. But we lose sight of that. So why am I telling you this right from the very beginning? Because Baltimore Bible Church, which I know you love, because you're here, okay? Baltimore Bible Church is interconnected with your marriage. The strength of your marriage in so many ways is helping establish the strength of this church. You wanna bless this church, you want to see this church grow, you wanna see this church be all that God's called it to be, one of the best things you can do is have a godly marriage, and you will be doing your part in helping feed this church to be a God-honoring church. Can't miss that. We lose sight of that. We see our marriages as islands, right, to ourselves. No one knows what's going on. We're doing our own thing. We walk into church, hey, Pastor George, all is good, all is good. Meanwhile, you and your wife have been arguing all the way to church, and trust me, God knows and it comes out, it comes out. And so don't lose sight of that, that though this is a marriage retreat, a marriage getaway, George called it, so many ways this is church 101, because this is in so many ways where it really begins. And we were talking this morning, I was telling George, Dr. Boozman is one of our beloved professors and leaders at the Master's Seminary. I was talking with him one day about this reality, and I'll never forget, he was one of the most gentle men you would ever meet, just a gentle giant. When he spoke, you listened, because just wisdom just exuded. Even when he smiled, it was like wisdom on smiling. Just, am I not right? He's just amazing. And Amy got, and I know Jennifer, and Nellie got to know his wife, and she was just the example of Proverbs 31. I mean, just amazing people. So he, but he didn't speak loud, he didn't speak, you know, with that tone of authority, but with the wisdom of authority. And I'll never forget, as pastor, one of the pastors there working on a bunch of family ministry stuff, and I was asking him for help, and he said, I never forget he put his finger up and he said, Matt, don't you ever forget this. He said, you will never have a strong church if you do not have strong families. Pour into the families and watch God purify the church. Never forgot that, never forgot that. Comes right out of scripture. And so I don't want this weekend to be, here's the, just about us, just about you, because it's about so much more. It's about each other, and it's ultimately, believe this or not, it's about the church, because that is God's primary plan, and even what marriage really is all about. It's about his church, and the beautiful picture of the wondrous love between God the Father, God the Son, and his bride. the church. So that's what we're going to be wrestling with and seeing. So as part of this introduction, I just want you to know, and I'm going to remind you of this in gentle ways. Some may be a little bit more exhortive, but I'm going to tell you now, and I do this as a pastor, I just front load it because I want you to hear, I want you to learn, I want you to get this. You need to walk away with being reminded and exhorted of this truth right here. Your marriage ultimately is not about you. Your marriage is ultimately not about you. And that is something we cannot hear enough. Because I will tell you, as a pastor, at Grace, when I was there, I did tons and tons of marriage and family counseling, because that was my role. That was my position. But since being a senior pastor, I do even more. I counsel all the time, every week. Most of my week is filled up with counseling. And I'd say 60% of my counseling is marriage counseling. And just this week I was counseling a couple married 10 years, counseling a couple, a spouse of a couple who they've been married 40 years, and counseling a couple who is courting, is a young man, 27, from Albania. He's an Albanian pastor who's here in the States for the whole purpose to get a wife. That's an interesting journey, right? and the girl he's here to take back to Albania is the daughter of somebody in our church. So you can see the spectrum of counseling, right, just in one week. But one thing that never fails in counseling when you're dealing with issues, the heart, when you get to the heart of marriage issues, when you're dealing with sin issues in the marriage, at the heart of every sin marriage problem is the heart of a self-centered perspective. When you boil down and you're working your way in, sometimes it's one-sided, right? It's one of the spouses lost their way and this is totally about them. Oftentimes it's both in different ways and they've lost their, but that's at the heart of marriage problems is a self-centered heart. And you're going to see that come out, and you need to remind that. But what happens is the Lord has stopped building the home. So here's an overall plan for our three sessions, just to give you the bird's eye view, so to speak. First session, I'm just going to be working through a bunch of reminders. And we're going to learn about the priority of marriage. I want us to be reminded, and I've already started, about how important marriage is in the plan of God. The next session, we're going to zero in on the priority, or better yet, the passion of a God-centered husband. So we're going to see the priority for a God-centered marriage. And then next session, we're going to focus most specifically on the passion of a God-centered husband. What does that look like? I'm going to give you a very clear picture of what that looks like. I need a picture. I need an example. I want a model. I want you to paint it for me in color, and that helps me. I need all the help I can get. And then we will definitely save the best for last. The wives and we will focus on without question the privilege of a God centered wife and look at that. So that's how we're going to really grow in and hopefully focus on the fact that marriage is a priority in the heart and mind of God. I think it was David Paul Tripp said this or said something like this in one of his books or maybe in a seminar that I heard him speak. He said, all of life really comes down to this. It's a glory war. And I remember when he said that and then I found the book in which he was speaking out of and read it. and wrestled with that through the scriptures, and there's a lot of truth in that, especially when it comes to marriage. At the end of the day, marriage really is a glory war. It's a war in this way. Will your marriage be about God's glory, or will your marriage be about your glory? At the end of the day, that's really what it comes down to. Are you fighting for your pleasure, or you're ultimately fighting for God's pleasure. That's what glory is all about, right? It's giving God the pleasure he deserves, giving him the praise and the honor that he deserves, having our lives bring him pleasure. Oftentimes in our marriage, actually most of the time if we're honest, most of the time it's all about our pleasure. Most of the time it's not even, I said it wrong, most of the time it's not even our, it's my pleasure. As a husband, it's all about me, what my wife does for me, or better yet, what my wife is not doing for me. Same thing with the wife, what my husband is failing to do, what my husband has not grown to be. Whatever it is, it's all about us, or better yet, me. When in reality, the builder, the master builder, God Himself designed marriage. You're going to see this as we work through the day. Designed marriage that it's all about Him from start to finish. And we have to keep fighting for that. We have to keep fighting for that on every turn. And that's a blessing. And that's a blessing. So this morning as we work through this and continue learning, I want to just give you God's perspective about marriage before we jump into Genesis 1 and 2. Just to establish what God designed marriage for and ask you a few questions. Here's a few thoughts. As you study the scriptures, you learn really quickly that God designed marriage for companionship, for partnership. I'm going to say a lot about that in the last session. That there would be this beautiful, sweet union of partnership between a husband and wife. You see that in Genesis 2.18. We'll see it in a minute. But there's also this reality that he designed marriage to be about Loyalty and dedication, longevity, right? A husband and a wife shall what? Cleave together. We're going to look at that in a minute. Cement is what the word literally means. They shall come together in an unbreakable union. That there would be this picture of dedication. He designed marriage ultimately, right, for procreation. And you see this command right in Genesis chapter 2, right? Fill the earth. Multiply. Genesis chapter 1, go and fill the earth. Subdue it. This reality of parenting, education, discipleship. Marriage is given for that purpose. Deuteronomy 6 declares that. Ephesians 6 declares that. Malachi 2 declares that. Not only that, marriage was designed by God for ministry, for service. Wives are given to men to be helpers in ministry, co-laborers. A huge design of marriage. You see that again in Genesis 1-28, Ephesians 4, Ephesians 5. But here's one that we often lose sight of. And this is why I think it's imperative that I bring this out in the beginning. It'll come out multiple times. We forget that part of God's design in marriage is our own sanctification. This is huge because we don't like it when the sandpaper comes out. We start to fight against one another when God is actually doing the very thing He designed, when marriage is doing the very thing He designed it to do. Provoke my sin in the sense of convict me, confront me, help conform me to Christ. We don't like that. You know, leave me alone. You deal with your own sin, I'll deal with my sin. That's not God's design. God's design is that marriage would be an avenue by which our sins would be afflicted through our partners and through the wrestling that we go through that God would bring us closer to Christ. And that's a marvelous gift of marriage, and Ephesians chapter 5 just makes that so clear. So clear, we'll look at that. And then ultimately, without question, I believe, undeniably from scripture, that the greatest purpose and design of marriage is divine exaltation. That your marriage is to be a megaphone for the glory of God. It is the greatest platform for praise and glory to God, because it is, and Jesus says this in Ephesians 5, we'll look at it, that your marriage is to be a placard of the gospel to the lost and dying world. And we'll see that even before this session ends. So the question is, that's what is declared in scripture. I have in my notes, I could have given you, you know, five scripture references, but I don't want to try to trump George because I know that's his style. But I could have given you five scripture references for every one of those, right? Right? But the question comes down to not simply knowing the word. The question comes down to living it. So that's what's declared in scripture for God's design for marriage. You start out a seminar like this asking yourself, is that what is displayed in our marriage? Do we radiate a partnership? Do we radiate co-laborers in ministry? Do we understand that our marriage was designed for the education, discipleship, the evangelism, the procreation of our children, not just physically but even spiritually, that God has designed the home to be the primary evangelistic tool in the heart of the child, not the church. It's not George's job to evangelize all your children individually. He does that from the pulpit. He does that as a shepherd. But at the end of the day, it's your job and my job to evangelize our children and to disciple our children. You are the number one discipler of your child, be it diapers, even into the time when they become parents. You just don't stop. Different way, no doubt, but still through the scriptures, by example, through exhortation. What a blessing. So marriage ultimately then, by God's design, prepares us spiritually. It grows us theologically. It impacts us emotionally. It equips us practically, and even through the blessing of marriage, it thrills us physically as we get to walk together in so many different ways in marriage, whether it's through the relationship of sexual union, but beyond that, just the physical union of being together as husband and wife. I can tell you without reservation, and this will come out, because I can't help it, that woman right there is my best friend. I will tell you I have a number of brothers who I love to be with, and I enjoy their company. And George is like top of the list, right? How can you not love being with George? But as much as I love being with George, it pales in comparison to being with my wife. I can't wait to be with this woman, and I never get enough of her. She gets enough of me, trust me, and you'll figure that out by the end of the day, but I love her, right? And that's, again, that physical union where you get to journey through life together. We weren't meant to be alone. We're gonna see that in a minute in Genesis chapter two. And the fact that God brings us together and builds this house of blessing together, we can't lose sight of that. And 23 years into it, we were talking about it this morning, I feel like I'm just starting to love my wife. Because I'm actually just starting to know her after 23 years. And what a blessing that is. We haven't plateaued at all. I feel like we're just getting started. And that's a joy. That's the joy of the journey of marriage. And what a blessing. So by now you should be asking, what is a God-centered marriage, right? What do I mean when I'm using it? I'm going to use that a lot as we go through the notes. You'll see in your notes each one of the points there is we start with number one, the priority of a God-centered marriage. Well, here is some biblical perspective on this. As you study God's Word, as we will, you'll see that a God-centered marriage ultimately is this holy union between a man and a woman that is, without question, grounded in God's Word It's this holy union that is grounded, it's rooted, it has its foundation in the Word of God, but it's also this union that is guarded, protected, ultimately by the Gospel, right? It's the Gospel that guards and protects and gives life to this union, but it's ultimately given, this union, this God-centered marriage is given or driven by the purpose of God's glory. A God-centered marriage is always driven by what God has said through his word, what God has done through the gospel, and who God is as revealed in his incomparable character. The God-centered marriage is one in which the love between a husband and wife is ultimately the overflow of their primary love for God above everyone and everything else, including one another. So if you want to strengthen your marriage, if you want to secure your marriage, you need to bless your life by growing in the scriptures. It is the scriptures and your walk with Christ that will invigorate your marriage more than anything. The secret to a successful marriage is having a solid walk with Christ above all else. Oftentimes when I do weddings, I'll use this phrase at the end, and I'll tell the couple, I use this phrase, if you will covenant to hold hands with God through Christ individually, If the wife, if you wife will coven, if you will make a covenant right now to always hold hands with Christ, walking with him side by side through your time in his word, through your obedience to him, through your service to him, through your worship to him, through having him as the citadel of your life. And if the husband will do the same, if individually they will hold hands with Christ every day of their life, they will never stop holding hands with one another. That's the secret. That's what it's all about. And as you know, you don't need me to tell you, but it's my job as a pastor to remind you, you know as I know, what is the first hand we let go of? It's the hand of Christ. We put aside our scripture, we put aside our scripture, we put aside our obedience, we put aside our worship, right? And then we wonder why it's not working. Oftentimes, right, a seminar like this will focus in the wrong direction and talk about, you gotta have time with your spouse, you gotta get away, you gotta do this, you gotta do that. And there are time for those things, but that's secondary. In many ways, that's tertiary, that's lower level. What you need to do is get away with God. You need to be with Him. You need to be growing, as 2 Peter 3, 18 declares, you need to be growing in the grace and the knowledge of Christ above all else, above all else. And I hope some of that will even come out in our testimony time as we go through the Q&A at the end. So Matthew 22, 37 to 39, I believe is one of the greatest verses that strengthens and supplements marriage at every level. You'll know Matthew 22, 37, 39, love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, with all your strength, and love your neighbor. And likewise, right, love your neighbor as yourself. It begins with your love for God long before it ever begins with your love for your wife. And so the God-centered marriage really is that. So, if you're going to fertilize, nourish, if you're going to foster a deep and abiding love for God, if you're going to seek to grow in this reality, especially so that it feeds your marriage, then where do you begin? Well, I think it begins right where your notes are, reminding one another of the priority of a God-centered marriage. So if you have your copy of God's Word, turn to Genesis 1, and we know these verses well. I don't feel like we need to read all of them, but I just want to look at some of this in the beginning here as we work through this first session. Genesis 1 and 2 is a marvelous passage of scripture. When you get to day 6, the animals are created, and then ultimately man is created. And so if you're in Genesis chapter 1, you get to verse 26, and now we have this beautiful story of the creation of man. Verse 26 says, Then God said, Let us make man in our image after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the heavens, and over the livestock, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. Right away you see something's different about this creation. He is superior to everything else. He is over. It's repeated in the ESV that I'm using. Over, over, let him have over. And what's being declared here that this creature here is way different than everything else. And this is huge because this creature is going to be put into a divine union in a minute that's different than everything else. And so God is establishing that. Verse 27, so God created man in his own image. That hasn't been said yet. That hasn't happened yet. This creation is far and above, way different than anything else. Literally, God did save the best for last. That's a biblical concept, right? There you go, in His creation. Saves man and woman, the best of His creation for last. So God created man in His own image. In the image of God, He created him. Male and female, He created them. And God blessed them. And God said, to them, be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, of the heavens, and over every living thing that moves. Now flip over to chapter two. You'll know this in Genesis. So Genesis one is kind of the bird's eye view of creation. It gives us all six days there. And then seventh day, he rested there at the end of chapter one. That gives us all of creation in one chapter. And then chapter two then goes back and gives us really the highlight of the pinnacle of creation, creation of man and woman, and ultimately marriage. So starting in verse 18, the Lord says, then the Lord God said, I love this, it is not good that man should be alone. I will make a helper fit for him. Don't miss this, okay? I'm gonna bring it out here in a minute, but I'm gonna tell you now, because it's crystal clear in the text. Who ultimately instigated the ordinance of marriage? God did, and notice when he did it, long before Adam even knew he needed it. Don't miss the sovereign love and design of God. It's kind of like the book of Job, right? When you're reading the book of Job, you can't miss the fact that it's hard for us to grasp it, it's hard for us to deal with it, but it's true. God instigates that whole deal. Not Satan. God instigates the whole deal from beginning to end. He's sovereign controller and he's got a perfect plan for it and he's instigating it. So it is right here. We often think of marriage as Adam coming to this point where he's naming the animals and he's like, oh man, woe is me. Where's my partner, right? And he does. But why does he do that? Because God instigates it. God says, I'm gonna put Adam in a place where he recognizes it. But I've got it all under control. I've got a plan. I'm gonna bring it all together. Don't miss that. So it is with your marriage. God is divinely working and pulling it all together for his ultimate purpose. This isn't happenstance at all. This is sovereign work by a loving, perfect God. And you, even in the hellish days of your life, right? And we have that in times in our marriages, right? We go through those seasons, right, of sin and we're growing in godliness and we're struggling. Or others around us are struggling. You can't lose sight of the perfection of God in the plan of marriage. He is doing his work and growing and training and establishing godliness. And what a blessing, what a blessing that is. So he brings the animals to Adam. Adam names them through the process. Adam says, wait a minute, something's missing. Verse 20. The man gave names to all the livestock, to the birds of the heavens, to every beast of the field. Strong, conversative, contrasting conjunction. But for Adam, there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, upon the man. And while he slept, he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh through the rib, and the rib the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. I believe this is probably one of the greatest points of praise right at the very beginning of scripture from a man. We read it and we don't read it with emphasis, but we should because I believe Adam was this was the wow moment. I was telling our story a little bit earlier this morning at breakfast. They were asking about how Amy and I met and I was telling them about how It's amazing, we were married, because the first day we met, I never talked to her. Thankfully, her sister was there, so Amy had somebody to talk to. because I was in the wow moment, but I was speechless. I couldn't talk to her. This is Adam. The Lord brings in now his helper, and he wakes up. Imagine you fall asleep. He falls asleep, and he wakes up, and there she is. Never seen anything like this, but he's gone through the naming, and what does he say? This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. You know, ladies, it's helpful for you to be reminded of this. Don't ever forget, man was taken out of the dust of the earth. You should go up to verse 18 and circle out of the ground. Man in many ways, he's creaturely in so many ways. Because all the creatures it said is made out of the ground and man was made out of the ground. But woman, and again, this is, I mean, it's a joke, but it's important. Woman is different. She is way different. Why? She was made out of man. That is not a small thing to miss. because the design of marriage is showing the inseparable link that man will have to creation as the leader, as the keeper. Says this in Genesis 2.15. He was what? To guard and keep creation. Man has a very innate inseparable link to work and to creation because God made him. He's inseparably connected to the dirt and the dust and the work that God demanded in the garden. But woman is different. She is intimately connected to man. Her intimate connection of work is tied to the man, to her husband. And that's the design, that she's the helper. And you see this, of course, in the New Testament that we'll look at, where she's to be submissive and supportive and a helper of her husband, because that's how God made them. And so even in the creation, material brings out the majestic nature of a woman. She is way different. And Adam knows that and brings that to light. Verse 24, therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. This is just a glorious passage. Right away, here's what we see from this passage. One, without question, God is the divine designer of marriage. God is the ultimate author of marriage. That's, in large part, without question, what makes marriage majestic. It is his handiwork. He declared that it is special and demonstrated that it should be honored. This is declared multiple times, Hebrews 13, 4, Malachi 2, 16, this reality that God not only is the author of marriage, but that marriage is special to him. And I'm going to turn this on you in a minute, so write these down, pay attention, because I'm going to show you something that's so important. One, marriage is a divine design, therefore we must understand, therefore it comes with priority. Number two, marriage is a superior and exclusive relationship. Did you notice in the text, right, this relationship between the man and the woman was way different than the relationship between the female animals and the male animals, right? It was way different. They were all created out of the ground. But this woman and this man were created differently. Nowhere does it say that God breathed his breath into the creation. That only happens through man. And nowhere is a creation created out of another creation in the story here. So we see that it's a different relationship, but more than that, it's an exclusive relationship. This relationship is way different, because at the end of the story, what happens? The man and the woman, and again, there was no parents at this point, so God is establishing the divine order, which shows that this passage is the divine order, the paradigm, the pattern for all of life, because why would he say, therefore a man shall leave his father and mother? and Eve didn't have technically physical parents, right? So he's saying this for us and for the church, and we'll see that in Ephesians 5. But this relationship that God is establishing in marriage is exclusively superior to all other relationships apart from God. Because why? The man and the woman shall, they shall leave, the man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast, that literally means cleave or cement to one another. Nowhere is that language ever used in the parenting child relationship. Nowhere. Doesn't even come close to that. This relationship is way different. I have a I have something I do in our home from time to time, depending on the climate of our home and how the thermostat is working in our marriage. I am known for this, that I will readily, or when it's appropriate, make sure my children know that I love their mother more than I love them. And that sounds harsh, doesn't it? Like that comes to your ears and you're like, ooh, that doesn't sound very nice. And they know what I mean. They know I love them dearly. But the love that I have for their mother is not the same kind of love I have for them. This is an exclusive and superior relationship. They understand that that woman was here long before they got here. And by God's grace, if he gives health and life, that woman's going to be here after they leave and go start their home. And that's God's design. And they need to know that because, you know, children, they're just like us. They're selfish. They're in a glory war. It's all about them. And they want the parents to be what? All about them. And they need to see right from the beginning, we love you and you're a gift and a heritage from the Lord. And we're sacrificially giving our lives to raise you in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. But you need to know you're not coming between this relationship right here. This is superior and exclusive. And we have left our parents, and we have cleaved to one another, and we're one flesh, which means even though you weasel into the bed, and we love that, and you come in there with us, even now, we love that, right? And we do. We got like one of these family beds, and it's like, come on in, kids. I mean, we just love it, because they don't stay there very long. And then it's like, ah, so we got that three-year-old now. We're just like, ah, stay here a little longer, because the rest of them are gone, out of there, right? But while they may weasel in between us, They're not coming between that relationship. And that's what's being established here. This is superior and exclusive. One plus one equals one. It's a one flesh relationship. You are one. You are tied together. You are not two. You're one in this mysterious, beautiful union that is glorious, that cannot be broken. It is exclusive and superior. It is a lasting covenant. It is not temporal, meaning in This contract cannot be broken. It cannot be negotiated. It is a binding covenant between a man and a woman. It is lasting till death, till death comes. That for a Christian, right, now we know divorce is reality, and we know the sad ramifications of that, and we know that oftentimes that comes because people are married and you have a spouse that's a believer and one that's not, and they abandon, and we know immorality comes in, and we know there's exceptions for that, and we praise God in his grace and mercy. But for two Christians, for two genuine followers of Christ, divorce is unheard of biblically. There is no option. This is a permanent marriage. There's no option. You don't even bring it up. It's not even there. And so this is a lasting covenant, one that cannot be broken unless God breaks it through death, right? Because God brings that as he brings life. So it's a lasting covenant. They shall come together. That's what the whole idea of cleave means. It's that word in Hebrew speaks of a bond that cannot be broken without breaking the two things that are put together. It's strong, it's a lasting covenant. Number four, notice in marriage, the relationship that God creates, this is foundational to all society. The marriage relationship was foundational to humanity. It was through the marriage relationship that the world ultimately is filled, right? That the world then grows and procreation happens and society is established ultimately through the conduit of marriage. If you think that's not serious, look at our society and look at the breakdown and the demise, and don't miss the fact that it ultimately springs out of the demise of marriage. Our society is what it is, and all the racial tension, all the financial problems, all the political issues, and we can go down the line of all the cultural storms that blow through our world, and you can trace them all back. to this breakdown in the home, where there's no thermostat, there's just thermometers, and that reality. God's design from the beginning was that the strength of the society would be established through the strength of the marriage. This is his design. And number five, lastly, this reality, and we'll go here later, but I'll give you the scripture reference, because I've gone way too long already on this, but I know you're not used to that, so. Thank you, George, for preparing the way well. You parted the Red Sea. I can just walk right through, brother. I've done the same for you tomorrow. So preach the word tomorrow. Don't even look at the clock. I never do. But no, it's not only a foundation for humanity or society, but marriage is ultimately, Ephesians 5 makes this crystal clear, as well as other passages. Marriage is a living illustration of Christ and his church. From the beginning, this marriage is to picture Christ and his church. Now, I want you to think about something to show you. My whole goal in this session is just to remind you and provoke you in thinking about the priority of your marriage. And I know I'm speaking in general terms of marriage in general because we're looking at the text and scripture and that's what it does. But don't miss it. We're talking about your marriage. The priority of your marriage, okay? Now I want you to grasp this connection, because this is going to elevate the priority of marriage in your mind. I want you to see the connection between the marriage relationship and the salvation relationship, and God's design for marriage and God's design for salvation, and the beautiful interplay between the two, okay? What do I mean by that? Number one, Just as marriage is a divine design, ultimately authored by God, so is salvation. The gospel is a divine design. God is the author of salvation from beginning to end. He is the author. That's what makes the gospel so authoritative. We speak not as, hey, let me tell you a way to get to heaven. I would never use that. That's heresy. and tell you the way to get to heaven. Why? Because God's designed. He built the road. This is his conduit to go from hell to heaven. It is through the gospel. It's a divine design. Therefore, it has priority over all other teaching. All other teachings are subservient, whatever they may be, even if they're neutral and good, they're subservient to the gospel. Because why? This is God's word. This is God's plan. This is God's design. So you see the divine design of salvation. Acts 2, 23 talks about that. Acts 4, 28. Ephesians 1, 4, what? That our election was set before the foundation of the world. We were in Christ. This reality that he designed this long before we were even thought of by way of our physical parents. Not only that, salvation is a superior and exclusive relationship. Just as your marriage is a superior and exclusive relationship to every other relationship that you have, salvation is superior and exclusive. Jesus Christ said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. That is language of exclusivity. Jesus is declaring and saying without question, there is nobody else. Acts 4, verse 12, there is no other name in heaven by which you must be saved. That's exclusivity. He's saying this is a superior and exclusive relationship. It's only in me, Jesus says, that you find eternal life. Not only that, salvation is what? A lasting covenant. It cannot be broken. Praise God for that, right? You trust in the Lord with all your heart, you don't lean on your own understandings, but you confess your sins, you repent of your sins, you turn to Christ, and what? Thou shalt be saved. It's a promise. It's a promise that God makes. It's a covenant. It's a promise he doesn't renege. It's a lasting covenant. You start to begin to understand now the priority of marriage because the marriage is supposed to picture that reality. So when a marriage is broken, God is saying, this cannot be because this is a picture of my relationship, my marriage to the church, which cannot be broken. It will never be broken. I'll never walk away from them. And now you start to see the priority of this and the importance of it. Not only that, is it a lasting covenant? Think about it. Salvation is the foundation for all eternity. It is the foundation for eternal life. Just as the marriage is your foundation for humanity and society upon the earth, salvation is the foundation not only for a productive society on earth, but ultimately for an eternal humanity in heaven, right? It's only through salvation that heaven is filled, right? Just like it's only through a godly marriage that the earth is filled. The salvation relationship is one in which without question, has ultimate priority. And the marriage is a relationship that is supposed to have priority as well, ultimately because it's connected to that salvation relationship, because it pictures that, and it's through that that you start to understand. When you understand how and why God has designed marriage, we are driven to keep him at the center as we strive to follow him by fulfilling his plan as the designer. When we understand the inseparable link between the gospel and marriage, we are driven to keep God at the center because we are reminded it's not about us. It's not from us. It's not for us. It's all about him, just like the gospel. It's not about us. It's all about him. It's all from him. It's all for him. So I labored a little long on that because that sets the tone that shows you where my heart is, where the scriptures are, that shows you exactly right from the beginning what God's design is. And again, I love this. We're going to look, we're going to be Ephesians 5 the whole next session. And if I had time now, we'd read it. But I love the bookends on marriage from Genesis 1, what we read, 1 and 2, and then you go to Ephesians 5 and he turns around and quotes all of that and says, all of that from the beginning, no one really knew this till now, but what God was doing was painting a picture that points to his love for his church. And that's what it is. We know that now this side of the cross. The people before Christ came, they didn't understand all of that, right? But through progressive revelation, we know that. So looking back, our marriage takes on even a deeper significance than it did even in the beginning because we are here to proclaim the picture and declare the glory of Christ through the gospel in our marriage. That is huge, and one in which most of us don't even think of often. But what an honor and privilege you have to co-labor together in being a placard of the gospel to your children. to your children. So when I tell my children that, right? And say, listen, you need to understand that the love I have for your mother is great. It's different. What do I get to do? I get to turn around and tell them about the love that God has for his children, which is way different than the love he has in general for the world. Are you kidding me? Because our children just think God is, you know, God's loving, and we understand why they think that, and we build on that. But his love for mankind, as benevolent as that is, right, he gives rain on the just and the unjust, as thankful we are for that, is there any comparison to that? that he has for his own, his chosen? There is no comparison. But don't we often lump it all together? Well, so in our marriage relationship, I'm demonstrating for them the very thing that God designed in marriage to show them that this relationship is special. And you can have this relationship with God. You can have a love like that with Him if you will just turn from your sins and trust Christ as Lord and Savior. That's the marriage relationship. That's the placard. That's the picture. That's what we're talking about. That's the design. What a blessing. What a blessing. So, next on your notes, I've already said a lot of this, but the priority of a God-centered marriage is not only seen in the nature of marriage, we've looked at that, but it's also declared in the scriptures, right? So God declared, and we looked at this in Genesis 1, 27 to 31, that marriage is a tremendous blessing. God declares in Malachi 2, 13 and 16 that marriage is what? Sacred. God declares in Hebrews 13.4 that marriage is honorable. God declares in Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3 and Ephesians 6 that marriage is the primary relationship in the home. Don't miss that. Long before there's children obey their parents, there first comes husband, love your wives, and wives submit to your husband. That marriage relationship is primary. Everything else feeds out of that. It comes first. God says, no doubt, in Matthew 19, that marriage is, without question, significant, right? In Mark chapter 10, what is it, verse four, or verse nine, where he says what God has done built, brought together. What God has brought together, let no man separate. It's significant. It's significant. It's huge. It's huge. So what are, let me give you just a couple of these, and you can write these in your notes. So if God declares this in his word, and just so you know, and I'm showing restraint here, okay? So I'm trying to build a rapport with you so that you don't shut me down as I keep going, because I know how it is. We preachers, we just keep going. And so I'm thinking of you, I really am. Because in my notes, I have us to read Ephesians 5 and that section, so I'm not just, again, because I'm building on that and quoting that and building off of that. And so that's really the heart of what this section really is building off of, the priority of marriage declared so clearly in Ephesians 5. And we're going to spend all afternoon on that in the session with the man. But I want you to just think with me for a minute. What is the fruit? So I asked you a provocative question in the beginning. We looked at what God's designed marriage for in the beginning, companionship and dedication and all of that. And I ask you, this is what Scripture declares. Does your life display that? Right? So now I want to show you, okay, if If your life, your marriage together is God-centered, what will it manifest? I wanna give you some practical fruits, some practical pictures, if you will, that you should, snapshots you should see in your own marriage at some level if your marriage is God-centered. This will help you evaluate and say, are we really co-laboring in a God-centered marriage, okay? And this isn't long, but it's clear, okay? The first is, if your marriage is God-centered, and I've been saying this in multiple ways, so you'll connect right with it. If your marriage is God-centered, then your marriage will manifest that it holds priority, i.e., your marriage holds priority over all other earthly relationships. So if your marriage is God-centered, and you're like, yeah, we got this, Pastor, I don't know why Pastor George called you here, because we got this. I mean, this is old hat for us. Then if you got it, quote unquote, then your marriage will demonstrate that it holds priority over all other earthly relationships. You know, I remember looking at this verse when we were engaged, because I worked for my father in a family business, and I really thought, I wonder if I can pull this off. In Deuteronomy 24, 5, listen to this passage. I love this. I don't know why we don't do this. Maybe I'll try to talk one of my sons when they get married into doing this, but this is really helpful. Listen, Deuteronomy 24, 5. When a man takes a wife, he shall not go out with the army nor be charged with any duty. He shall be free at home for one year and shall give This is where you're gonna get to say amen, women. He shall give happiness to his wife whom he has taken. Now some of you might say that, I don't know, a year with my husband, that first year might not bring too much happiness, right? But I mean, think about God's design from the very beginning, right? In Deuteronomy, in the law, for the nation of Israel, it was established that that relationship would have priority. Even if you're a young strapping man who would have been valiant in war, you're exempt from going to war the first year. You're exempt from any duty. You just stay home. You spend time with your wife. You start to foster that relationship. Build her the kitchen she wants, right? Get her ready so she can be a good helper. I mean, spend that time, right? Think of the, again, there's no question here that God over and over again establishes the priority of this relationship over all other earthly, and I use that to make very clear that the number one relationship is your relationship with Christ, with God through Christ. But earthly relationships, it takes priority. It takes priority. And so this brings out the whole leaving and cleaving thing. And I want to just say something before I go to the second one. George and I were talking about this a minute ago up here, and it was pretty funny with the sound stuff. But there's a phrase that I've learned. You should write this down. It's called purposeful neglect. We often think of neglect as being a negative thing, but at times it can be very positive. George and I were talking a minute ago, and I was saying how oftentimes at our church, I pride myself on not knowing. I literally, there's so much I don't know about our church, and I'm happy about that. I.e., I don't know how to turn on the sound system. Actually, we had a funeral not too long ago, and all the people that are normally there couldn't be there, and I happened to be there, and the people that were, it wasn't, they weren't with our church, they were just using our church, and they came in and they needed help with the sound system. And they're like, Pastor, can you turn on the sound? I'm like, I wouldn't even know where to begin. And I went up and tried, but I was a disaster. I don't know how to turn on the sound system. I don't want to know how to turn on. We got other people. That's their job, right? I don't want to know how to do this or that. It's purposeful neglect. Why? Because my purpose is to be what I'm to be about. The Word of God, the prayer for the people, the leadership, the shepherding. That's what I'm about. You want to talk about His Word? You need counseling, you need prayer, you need shepherding, you need somebody to cry with you? Let's do that. Somebody to turn on the sound? There's nothing wrong with that, right? Absolutely, that's a blessing. But that's your job, brother, right? That's not my job, right? That's purposeful neglect. You know what? That needs to come into our marriages. There are so many things we get involved in as husbands and wives that we just need to let go. And we need to make time for one another. We need to neglect that. One of my dear brothers, Matt Wehmeyer, you guys remember him, right? We came really close when our lives crossed over and Amy and his wife got to spend a lot of time together. And I remember Matt and I talking about marriage. one time over lunch, and he taught me this and I never forgot it. He said, Matt, his name was Matt, and I remember Matt and I having this same conversation, Matt and Matt, and like how do you interact when your name's Matt and Matt, and it gets confusing sometimes, right? And so I remember having this conversation with him and he taught me, he said, Matt, he said, never forget, there are gonna be times in your marriage you're gonna have to buy time. I'm like, what do you mean by time? He said, you're gonna have to buy time with your wife. I said, what does that mean? He says, you're gonna have to take her out to dinner just so you can have time with her. You're gonna have to spend the money so that she's not cooking, so that the kids are with somebody else, and literally what you're doing is it's not about the dinner, it's about time with your wife. But ministry gets so busy, life gets so busy that sometimes you just have to purposely neglect saving the money, because we were talking about finances at the time. And he said, there comes a time where you just got to spend money to invest into your marriage. And you have to buy time. And I've never forgotten that. That's been something that we've done probably more than we should. We like to buy time, right? That's a blessing. We're buying some time on this weekend, right? Our kids are gone. We're buying time. But it is, right? It's that purposeful neglect. It's like, you know, this isn't something we would normally do. But this is helpful. We need to get away. Why? Because we're showing that this marriage relationship demonstrates a priority. And that's what you'll do. Here's something you can write down as it pertains to this priority. Four words. Truth. Truth. plus tenacity. So truth, the plus sign, tenacity. The plus sign, tenderness. The plus sign, time, equals a successful marriage. What do I mean by that? Truth, your marriage has to be based upon truth, the truth of God's word. We talked that the God-centered marriage is rooted in the word. But that truth needs to be, here you go, you need to cling to that truth with tenacity. You cannot let go of the truth of God's word as it pertains to your marriage. His design, his declaration, the world is constantly fighting to divide us from God's word. It's telling lies, deceptions, billboards, I mean, the nonsense that comes across my phone, every time I turn it on, it irritates me. Oftentimes, I just turn it over. I just can't stand all the news feeds. So much of it's just lies. It's garbage. And a lot of it is seeking to divide my marriage and my family, pictures of stuff. I'm like, I don't care about that. Why are you sending me this junk? It's the world, right? We live in a cesspool of lies. And so you must cling your life to the truth of God's word With tenacity, you will not let it go, but however, as it pertains to your marriage, the tenacious hold of truth must always come through the conduit of tenderness towards one another, right? Because we understand, especially men, some women as well, but especially men, you can be a tenacious guarder of truth, a tenacious defender of truth, a tenacious declarer of truth, but you lack all tenderness, right? You're just like I was a little bit ago when I was standing up here doing the George Whitfield, right? And it's like, you're just like literally chopping everything. And there's a time to chop. George and I, we chop, right? I preach, I do that. But you can't do that all the time, especially in your marriage, right? There needs to be a tenderness, a love for one another. And then here is the ultimate ingredient to the whole thing. It takes time. It takes time brought together through all of those components, like mixing up batter for a cookie, right? You put all the ingredients in, and then what do you got to do at the end? You can put all those ingredients in. If you don't put it in the oven and give it time, you're done. So it is with marriage. You need the time component and let the sauce simmer, so to speak, and let it go. And that's that priority. The God-centered marriage will not only have priority over all other relationships, here's another P word, but your marriage then will demonstrate purity. It will demonstrate purity. I don't need to say a whole lot about that because it's pretty self-explanatory. But in our day and age, we lack a tremendous amount of this, don't we? Our relationship with other women, men, your relationship with other men, women, whether it's through Facebook. I remember when Facebook came out. I have to this day, I'm not on Facebook on any social media for multiple reasons. And because I want nothing to do with that for all kinds of reasons. But I remember when it came out and knew this is not going to be good. And I know no less than five of my friends who have now been divorced, and it all started on conversations through Facebook with old friends. It's like, listen, we can say we have a God-centered marriage, but if your marriage isn't marked by purity, when no one's watching, you do not have a God-centered marriage. So it's not about when you're together like this, that's easy. We all come together, sing kumbaya, we all love Jesus. This is good. It's not about that. It's about when no one's watching and you're in your car on your way to your job, you're at your cubicle in your office, or it's 11 o'clock at night and you're at the computer and everyone else is in bed. That's when you'll know if you have a God-centered marriage, because it's coming. The temptation's gonna come, the thoughts are gonna come, the screen's gonna pop up, whatever it is, whatever it is, your heart, your heart, right? All temptation comes from the sin and the lust of your own heart. It's there, it's boiling. The fire will turn on. Whether or not your marriage is God-centered will be displayed on how you respond to that. Your marriage will defend purity, will defend purity. Not only that, another P. If you have a God-centered marriage, your marriage will embrace permanence. Permanence. This will be displayed in the fact that you will stay with each other through thick and thin. You will work with each other through the good times and the bad times. A God-centered marriage does not abandon, does not neglect in the negative way, does not turn around, does not Deny it holds the course. Through whatever storm comes. Sickness and in health. The God centered marriage will also and this is this is the ultimate one if you are. Claiming to have a God centered marriage, then you will have this without question. you will display the preeminence of Christ above all things. The preeminence of Christ above all things. Colossians 118. He that is Christ is also the head of the body of the church. He is the beginning of the firstborn from the dead, so he himself will come to have first place in everything, including your marriage. Christ must be above all. He is all in all. But He must be all in all in our marriages. And that is the fruit of a God-centered marriage. Are you with me? Is this a blessing? Okay, do I have time for one more? Because in all honesty, as most preachers, this is the best part. And I've lost all my time. I know George never does that, right? I can summarize this because this actually, for Amy and I, this has impacted us probably more than anything we've learned in the scriptures. When we started to grapple with this truth that I'm about to show you from the scriptures, this changed our whole marriage. This changed our whole perspective in relating to one another and ultimately fighting sin, because that's really what it's all about. Turn back to Genesis chapter three. So we've read, we looked at Genesis 1 and 2, now I just wanna just peruse Genesis 3 quickly here at the end, and I wanna show you something that is massive. Maybe a reminder for you, maybe not, but definitely needs to be understood. So we saw the beauty of the design of marriage, we saw the beauty of the union of marriage brought together, and Adam and Eve now are together, they're one flesh, and now they're in the garden. Now the serpent, chapter three, verse one, now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field the Lord God had made. He said to woman, did God actually say you shall not eat of any tree in the garden? And the woman said to the serpent, you may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, you shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that's in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it lest you die. But the serpent said to the woman, you will not surely die, for God knows that when you eat of it, your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil. So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food and that it was a delight to the eyes and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate." I honestly think that's probably the saddest verse in all the Bible. And she also gave some to her husband, the second saddest verse in all the Bible, who was with her. Third saddest verse in all the Bible. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day. And the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord. That's a sermon in and of itself. They hid themselves from the Lord among the trees in the garden, verse 9. But the Lord God called the man and said, where are you? And he said, I heard the sound of you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself. And he said, who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree in which I commanded you to eat? And the man said, the woman whom you gave to me. She gave me fruit of the tree and I ate. Then the Lord said to the woman, what is this that you have done? The woman said, the serpent deceived me and I ate. This is without question one of the most important chapters in all the Bible. You go wrong here and the rest of the scripture is done for you. This is pivotal. But here's something that And I can summarize this quickly. And here you go. I don't know if you've ever stopped to contemplate this right here. And all of this that I've been talking about, especially this, is to just show you the priority of a God-centered marriage. The fall. We all understand Genesis 3. The fall, right? The disaster of Genesis 3. We're all living it. We're all living the results of this. Have you ever stopped to consider that the fall happened within the context of a failing marriage. It was a marriage that failed that instigated the fall. Had this marriage been God-centered, the fall would have never happened. You think marriage isn't a priority? It was the marriage that went wrong that opened the door for the world to fall. You think that marriage isn't important? It's huge. Now, think for a moment, because I see the light bulbs going on, right? Think for a moment. What happens now every day in our world as the marriage fails? It's like the fall happens all over again in our lives and in our society. It just keeps recycling. So what happened in this marriage that brought about? Well, you had this reality of the threat of sin. Watch Satan and what he does. Now we looked at in a cursory way, but we looked at it and you understand this creation and we saw the beauty of God's creation and we saw how things were created. Now you saw right from the very beginning that man was to be the pinnacle of his creation. Man was called to subdue, have authority over all creation, including the animals. What do you see right from the very beginning of Genesis chapter three? the animal is subduing the man. The whole thing is turned upside down because that's Satan's plan. He always thwarts, he always undermines everything God does. So instead of the man having dominion, God says, okay, Satan says, watch this, I'm going to bring an animal in who's going to have dominion. So the animal is speaking to the man versus the man speaking to the animal. The animal is directing the man versus the man directing the animal. It'd be like the horse putting the bridle in us. We're not going to have that. We put the bridle on the horse because God commanded us to have authority, to subdue it, to use control, to have sovereignty, small s, over the world. That's our command. That's what God has given to us. Here we see the animal having sovereignty, small s, over the man. Totally, totally wrong. Not only that, who does the animal talk to? The leader? God established it. We're going to see this next session, the man to be the leader. He goes right around that and talks to the woman as if she's the leader. Just totally undermines God's plan. Goes right around it, rolls reverse. Now the woman is acting in the chair of the leader, right? And where's the man? He's there. The text said he's right there. He's with her. But he's acting in the role of the follower. The whole thing is turned upside down. The marriage has failed. Everything that God designed now is coming unglued because the people are not what? Following the builder. God has ceased by way of building this marriage, not him, but they stopped following the master plan that he designed. And it's starting to fall apart. Think about it. Role reversal, that's what you see here. Creation takes authority. Women take leadership. Men take submissive roles of subservience, right? Role reversal. That is exactly what our world is filled with and wanting to see come into the church and wanting to see in our lives. That role reversal and rejection of God's plan is the doorway through which the fall came into the earth. And our world, even our churches, are screaming for this. Women pastors, women elders, women leaders, all this just crazy stuff. It's just like, wake up. Go back and read Genesis 3. Look and see what happened when they did that. Didn't turn out good. Not going to turn out good here. We need to be reminded of this as it pertains to our roles as husbands and wives. Adam, look. Adam did not protect his wife. God make that very clear in chapter 2, verse 15. That was his ultimate role. Was interesting in the Hebrew in Genesis 2, 15, you go back and you look at the two words in the ESV. I think it's a guard and keep, but in the Hebrew, when you flesh out those two commands, literally comes up with this reality of serve and protect. Isn't that interesting? Because what do we think of when we think of like leaders, police officers, men who are, you know, we know women do that as well, but by and large that position of leadership is there to what? Guard and protect us, serve us. Serve and protect. It's on the side of almost every police car. It comes right out of Genesis 2.15. That was the man's role. That was his ultimate role, was to serve God and protect the garden and all the creation, including his wife. And he fails. He doesn't protect, he doesn't lead, and he doesn't even take personal responsibility for his failure. Pawns it off on the woman. Eve did not submit to Adam's leadership. Eve did not seek her husband's help. Eve instead led her husband rather than following her husband. Eve did not obey God by fulfilling her role as a wife. Between Adam and Eve's failure to fulfill their roles, the fall happens. It continues to happen today. The results of their sin, you saw it, they're separated from God, they're separated from one another, they're separated from unstressful work, they're separated from the joy-filled garden, they're separated from everlasting earthly life. This reality, this reality is repeated every single day as God's design for marriage is neglected and rejected. So at the end of the day, it really comes down to this. What's gonna be the picture of your marriage? Genesis chapter two or Genesis chapter three? Genesis chapter two is a beautiful picture of a God-centered marriage. Genesis chapter three is a sad picture of a man-centered marriage. What do I mean by that? Eve and Adam both were stuck in their own self-pleasure. It was all about what they wanted, not about what God wanted. Man-centered marriage is marked by discontent, autonomy, self-pleasure, personal exaltation, self-preservation, that's what you see in them pawning off the blame, and role rejection. God-centered marriage is marked by peace, dependency, God's pleasure, humility, self-serving, and role celebration. The God-centered marriage celebrates the roles that God has given to us as husband and wives. We don't reject them, we celebrate them because it's his perfect design. So is your marriage man-centered or God-centered? Will your marriage continue to be God-centered or will you fall into the trap of being man-centered? That kind of sets us up for what's to come next, okay? So George, I'm gonna close this in a word of prayer and then you direct us on where we go from here, okay? Father God, thank you for just the institution of marriage. Thank you, Lord, for just your phenomenal design. Thank you for how you so sovereignly and personally and intimately wove us together as creatures, but more specifically as partners, Lord, in marriage. We are so thankful for your continued sovereign work in our lives and for the Word of God that is always true and always right to guide us, to guard us, to lead us into paths of righteousness. Help us, Lord. Our hearts are wayward. Our lives are sinful. Lord, we need your sovereign provocation to Move us beyond where we are and to protect us from where we want to go. And to move us where you've declared us to be. Do your work in us and through us throughout this day that our lives may be all about you and our marriages may radiate the glory of Christ to this lost and dying world. For your pleasure we ask in Jesus name, Amen. To hear other messages or to find out about upcoming events or where we meet for weekly church services, please visit us online at www.baltimorebiblechurch.org. 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