This evening, I want to talk about foundation stones of a godly home. It's a little bit of an overview of what I think it takes to have a godly home. It's not including everything that you could talk about, of course. Lord willing, tomorrow evening I'll be talking to the men about what manhood is about. And Sunday morning, to the ladies, then Sunday evening about child training If God continues to lead that way so this evening foundation stands of a godly home Why does a godly home matter so much? Does it matter? Yes, it does. I have four things that I just can briefly gonna mention as as some reasons for that a godly home is God's plan for replenishing the earth and Genesis 128 talks about that God said, behold, I'm sorry, I have the wrong verse. God blessed them, Adam and Eve, and God said unto them, be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. And he mentioned it later in Genesis as well, that his plan was for mankind to reproduce. Especially God had an emphasis on fruitfulness. I don't know if you've thought about that, but God loves fruitfulness. He loves multiplication. He loves when things multiply, when there's an abundance. And if you grow food in your garden, or if you're a farmer, you see that happen. You put some seed in the ground, and there's a multiplication, at least in a typical year, of that seed. Actually, an unbelievable multiplication of that seed. In that seed is the power to reproduce in a way that is astounding. And in mankind, there is also the seed of reproduction and the ability to reproduce and to not only their offspring, but in other ways to be productive, to create things, produce things. And the second reason why a godly home matters so much is it's God's plan for raising up a godly seed. Malachi 2 talks about that and other places, but just maybe a quick reading or a few verses there. Yet you say, wherefore, because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously, yet she is thy companion and the wife of thy covenant. Talking about how men were treating their wives. And did not he make one, yet had he the residue of the spirit, and wherefore one, that he might seek a godly seed? Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. A lot there I'm sure we could talk about. But one of the things that is important, and I think this will become clear this weekend, for a godly seed is how the husband and wife relate to each other. A third reason why a godly home matters is a godly home is God's plan for showing the world his love for the church. specifically through the husband loving his wife is a mirror, is a picture of God or of Christ loving his church. And the woman loving her husband, picture of the church returning that love. And a fourth reason is a godly home brings warmth, security, love, and many, many blessings, Psalm 128. I think I'm gonna read the whole chapter. Blessed is everyone that feareth the Lord, that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labor of thine hands, happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. Thy wife shall be the fruitful vine by the sides of thine house, thy children like olive plants round about thy table. Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord. The Lord shall bless thee out of Zion, and thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life. Yea, thou shalt see thy children's children and peace upon Israel. Speaking of Psalm 128, let's go ahead and read Psalm 127 as well. except the Lord build the house. They labor in vain that build it, except the Lord keep the city. The watchman waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows, for so he giveth his beloved sleep. Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man, so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them. They shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate. Four foundation stones, and you might choose some different ones, but this is the four that we're gonna look at this evening. Four foundation stones for a godly home. Number one, the Lord must be the master builder. He's the architect, the designer, and the one who runs the project. Number two, man and woman roles must be clearly defined and properly lived out. Number three, your marriage relationship must be your first ministry. Number four, there must be moral purity in the home, birth before and after marriage. And yeah, of course, the husband and wife and the children. So looking at these, each of these this evening, fairly briefly on the first one, the Lord must be the master builder. And this is coming from Psalm 127 and reading it here in a different version. If the Lord, Psalm 127, one, if the Lord does not build the house, The work of the builders is useless. If the Lord does not protect the city, it does no good for the centuries to stand guard. It is useless to work so hard for a living, getting up early and going to bed late for the Lord provides for those he loves while they are asleep. There's some interesting things in Psalm 127, especially for those of us probably who have children that are teenage years and older. And one thing I've noticed already, and those of you that are older than me know this, that unlike what we used to think, we thought when our little children became big, our work was gonna get much easier, right? You know, but as grandparents, it just goes on, doesn't it? The weight, the care for your children, your grandchildren, and seeing sometimes their challenges and struggles and sleepless nights with their young children and all those things, it goes on. And sometimes, whatever stage you're in in your family, young children, teenagers, both, or a grandparent with young children, young grandchildren, there are times when it feels heavy. And we worry and we fret and we lose sleep over some of the things that we're struggling with. And I notice here, well, first of all, I think verse 1 and 2 really hit this well. God is giving us some direction for those times. First of all, He's saying, you can sweat, you can toil, you can cry, you can stay awake all night, trying to fix the problems, but give them to Me. Unless I am your master builder. He says You can work all you want and it really isn't going to turn out that well And in the meantime, you're gonna get really really tired Verse 2 says it is vain for you to rise up early to sit up late to eat the bread of sorrows and and this other version here I'm not even sure which one this is It says it is useless to work so hard for a living getting up early and going to bed late. I've noticed in reading this verse in various different Bible versions that it's translated pretty different. But one of the pictures that I get that I think what God is saying here is that you can go to bed and sleep and while you're sleeping he will take care of your problems. I don't mean he's gonna fix them all while you're sleeping, but I mean give them to God and then get some sleep. And God is so powerful that he can fix your problems without your help. You don't need to lay awake helping God fix your problems, your challenges, your struggles and your difficulties. And so get some sleep. God can take care of those things while you're sleeping. Give it to him. God must be the master builder. Moving on to the second one, man and woman roles must be clearly defined. What is the role of men? I am looking for an answer. What are men supposed to do? Lead out. Protect and provide. Any others? Serve. It's a good one. It's one of the ones that we sometimes kind of forget about, don't we? In our leading and protecting and providing. Be an example. Which is most important? Doing everything right as far as your teaching and your child training or being a good example? And just walking with the Lord. Well, I won't get you to answer that question necessarily, but your answers were very good. One of the things that has helped me a lot in thinking about men's roles, in fact, was the Penn Valley Men's Seminar where I taught with you and your sons. And you introduced me to a few books In going into that the study for that of several books you mentioned one was tender warrior I think you were the one that introduced that book to me and I love The title of that that's the title of a book by Stu Weber If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it I There's a few things in there that you might not agree with. He was a military man, obviously with different values along that line. But there's many things in that book that paint a picture of manhood that are absolutely spot on and that we sometimes miss. And just the title itself is a total paradox. How can you be a tender warrior? Believe that because I'll be talking about that more tomorrow evening anyway, but I love that picture The role what is the role of a woman? Now the man answered the man answered for themselves, so I Don't know if the ladies are going to answer for themselves here, or it could be either one. I guess What is the role of a woman? Anyone Submission. Being a helper or a helpmate. Keeper in the home. Encourager. Who's best at taking care of three-month-old babies, the men or the ladies, as a general rule? Mothers. Why is that? Yes, that's the word I was looking for. They are the nurturers. Now the Bible says that we as men are to bring our children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. So we are also to nurture, but the women are much better at it and they have the tools in a, in a more pronounced way for, especially for young children to take care of them, to nurture them. And God has created it that way. So, looking at Genesis 2.18, I'm going to point this out now, and I'm going to talk probably more about this in one of the other sermons. But it says here, Genesis 2.18, the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone. Have you ever thought about it that after God made, he made the universe, he made all the things on earth as well as the universe, the stars and the sun and all the planets and so forth. When he talked about man being alone, he said it's not good. Now he made the man alone. And after he made the man, and the man was alone, he said, it is not good. And so he says, I will make him and help me for him. Or a suitable companion, some versions say. Someone who is a helper that is suited for the man. And I'm going to be talking much more about that later as well. But I'd like to go next to Ephesians 5 a bit. Tonight, again, I'm just kind of scratching the surface of some of these ideas a little bit. And we'll come back to some of this with a little bit more detail later. But Ephesians 5, this is not new to you, I understand. The picture that I get as I read Ephesians 5 is God bringing marriage back to what it was originally meant to be. Now, I know our marriages here are never going to be quite like Adam and Eve before the fall. Because we deal with shame, we deal with guilt, we deal with all kinds of things that they didn't deal with. But it seems as though after the fall, the rest of the Old Testament, in a sense, God kind of left mankind play out their fallenness. He just let the picture unfold. And even with His own people, He allowed some things for them that we kinda shake our heads at now, like multiple wives and divorce and remarriage, he allowed that for them. And he allowed them to treat women a bit more like property. David, the king, God says he was a man after my own heart. And yet he had multiple wives and he didn't get along with some of them. It was really kind of a mess. But it seems as though for some reason God said, I'm going to let this picture play itself out. And man is going to see how depraved and how evil, how wicked they really are. And you see that throughout the Old Testament. The violence, the immorality, things that, again, we wouldn't allow in the church today, would we? And then it seems, and Jesus obviously, when he was here, he began calling us back. In fact, not just began, he did call marriage back to how it was. He said, for the hardness of their heart, I allowed divorce and remarriage and all those things. But he said from the beginning, it was not so. And he, I believe that he calls the church now back to more of a, the way it was before the fall. And while we never quite get it right, we can have a much better experience as God's people, born again, his spirit with us, and following the scriptures, we can have a much better experience than they did in the Old Testament in their marriages and their homes. So Ephesians 5, and again, I think Paul here, through the Holy Spirit's leading, he's talking here, and we know that, he's talking at the same time about the church and Christ and the man and the woman. It's a parallel, it's almost inseparable, the picture. So I'm gonna go ahead and read it, and then we'll move on, well, we'll be looking at a few things here. Verse 21, I think it's, Well, actually one time I started reading verse 22 in a marriage seminar and the experienced teacher that was part of the teaching program there, he stopped me and he said, don't forget verse 21. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself For it that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word that he might present it to himself a glorious church Not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies You love yourself a lot. I'm sure of that He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord of the church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh. And of his bones, for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband." So again, I believe this was God, through Paul's teaching, calling the church back to God's original design for marriage. In verse 22 to 24, the wives are called to submit to their husbands as the church does to Christ. And this call to submission is not what we sometimes think it is. It's not a negative thing. It's not negative at all. when it's in the proper context. This is not a call for the wife to be a doormat to be stepped on. Or to be a servant so that the man can do all the things that he wants to do in his life. Necessarily. And we'll talk a lot more about that later. But this is an opportunity when the woman comes under her husband to be protected and provided for by him. And we as men are given all the tools that we need to be protectors and providers. You mentioned that before, someone did. Maybe it was you, I don't remember. You're given all the tools to do that. And when we are protectors and providers are when we really get revved up, right? That is when we really feel fulfilled. We burn with, what is the word? We just love to do it. It fires us up when we can protect and provide. Remember when you first began doing that? For the lady that you married, before you were married, you began protecting her and providing for her. Maybe you went out for supper, you paid the bill, and maybe you opened the car door, whatever you might have done, but you began being a protector and a provider for her, beginning stages of that, and you loved it. Why do we not always keep doing some of those things? What happened? He said. Yeah. It is meant to be a tremendous privilege for the wife to come under the husband. But man, are you worthy? Are you a safe place for your wife? Not all men are. And I don't mean, I'm not talking about abusive men, I'm just talking about so many cases where the wife longs to come to her husband and just bring her problems, her cares of the day, but she knows he's either gonna kinda start growling about it, or he's gonna try to fix them right away, and she just wants you to listen. A wife who refuses to come under the provision and protection of her husband is missing out on a huge blessing that is offered to the woman in a marriage. However, we as men have a big part to play in making that a blessing for them rather than a fearsome thing. Submission for women includes a call to modesty. 1 Timothy 2. 8 to 9, and this is in the ESV, I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling, likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with broided hair or gold or pearls or costly attire. And 1 Peter says some of the same things, to not Have the external become your focus. Doesn't mean you can't be beautiful. Doesn't mean you have to look terrible. Doesn't mean that you can't take care of yourself. That's not what it's saying at all. It's just saying not to have an undue focus on the external. To where that becomes a snare for yourself, for other men, for the role that God has called you to as the The the helper and the Encourager like you were talking about in In the lives of the men in your in your life and by the way Women have a special power To be encouragers to men not just to their husbands mothers to their sons sisters to their brothers, and even singles to each other when done in the proper way. I remember so well as an 18-year-old young man when I first was called to lead the youth group in some ways, and some of the youth girls occasionally would, in a very appropriate way, just tell me that they're blessed by the job I did leading out that evening or whatever, and you think that didn't make a big difference in how I felt? I didn't take it wrong because they didn't come to me in the wrong way. And let's not snicker or belittle those that do that. That's appropriate when done in the correct way. You have a tremendous opportunity as young ladies and all of you as ladies at any age to be a support and encourager to the men in your life. It's one of your roles. For men, as it relates to Ephesians 5 here, the protection and provision by the husband for his wife should be in all three dimensions, spiritual, emotional, and physical. The emotional one is one that we often miss. But when a woman is cared for in all three of those dimensions, she will be a radiant woman. Men, are you up to the job? Stu Weber in the Tender Warrior book says, men are to be a king, a warrior, a mentor, and a friend. And he has some powerful stories in there that illustrate that really well. Moving on to number three. Your marriage must be your first ministry. I always am a bit nervous when I say this because this can be taken wrong and there's so many ways we can misunderstand each other or different ways of looking at things. And when I say that, I'm not saying your marriage is to be lifted up above God. But in the home of the relationships on this earth, when your marriage receives the proper care, attention, and nurture, it feeds everything else in your life. Everything else in your life grows out of that. your work, your ministry, your children, everything will blossom in a way that it can't otherwise. And so many times, this is not a downer on hard work and mission work and all these other good things that we say, oh, we can make our ministry too important, we can make our work too important, and I'm not here to scold you for those kind of things. The point is that when we have the proper focus on our marriage, it energizes the rest of our work. Never sacrifice your altar on the marriage, I'm sorry, I'm getting my mix all talked up here. Never sacrifice your marriage on the altar of ministry. This is not to put a downer on your ministry, whatever ministries you might be involved in. But it says in Ephesians 5, 25, husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church. And in the ESV, it says he gave himself up for her. Sometimes there's things that we need to give up. for our spouse. And this goes both directions, by the way. I tend to always talk to the men more. Number one, the reason I do that is because the burden is on the men, first of all. Ephesians 5 puts it there. And secondly, because I'm a man myself. So out men to love their wives as their own bodies, Ephesians 5, 28. And out, when we do that, when the relationship with our wife, physically, emotionally, spiritually, is healthy, not perfect, healthy, there's a freedom that comes into our life that allows us energy to do the work God has called us to, and has allowed us to minister in ways we never dreamed we could. a number of years ago God Finally got my attention and through various circumstances Which I can't figure out to this day how he managed to do it with me He got my attention and taught me some things that changed the way I relate to my wife the value I put on her and and the I quit trying to fix her. And after those things happened for some time, I began to notice, and she did too, the difference. So many ways that changed. In fact, several years ago, I was preparing to preach at the annual ministers' meetings. I think it was in Plain City. I had preached at in Kansas at the minister's meeting a number of years before that and I told my wife that this time I'm not as nervous now It was the second time so that could that's a difference I guess But I said there's something different. I just don't feel quite as nervous about she said Immediately she said it's because our marriage is different now and I said, what? She said, yeah, that's why. There was a freedom in my spirit that I did not know had changed. Two little stories. There was a visiting minister who gave a message to the congregation. After the minister was finished, a young preacher commented to the older preacher, Brother Tim preached a good message today. He must be a good man. The older preacher responded, yeah. He preached a good message, but I don't know if he's a good man until I meet his wife." The young preacher had a puzzling look on his face and replied, what do you mean? The older preacher responded again, if her disposition is downtrodden, sad, if she is looking down, then he is not a good man. But if she is full of life, smiles, well-kept and happy, then he is a good man because she is the reflection of his glory. 100% a fact. It is so true. Second story, there was a pastor who had a very successful ministry and other pastors were seeking his advice during conference. The pastor walked on a stage and he spoke a few words And they were shocked at what he said. He said, to love and honor your wife is the success of your ministry. And walked off the stage. A lot more that we could say and I'm going to have to move on here a little quicker than I was going to, but just a few comments from Genesis 2 21 25 where God caused Adam to sleep and he took that rib out and he made a woman Brought them together and they were husband and wife and You've thought about it. I suppose how quickly Satan came to them after That marriage at least it appears that way. We don't know the time frame for sure. Of course, but it seems as though From the very beginning, as soon as that happened, he began to plan an attack. Why? Why was he so interested in that marriage? Anyone have a comment on that? Well, this is what I wrote down. Marriage as God created it, strong, committed, and loving marriages are foundational and imperative to a lasting culture, a society and a country. And I believe that without strong, committed marriages, any culture is on a countdown to destruction. But as God's people, It's God's people. We are called to much more than just surviving marriage, like the world can't even survive them. They don't last. They literally split up. Well, we don't do that, but we are called to thrive. The last one, just a few things on moral purity in the home. A lot that could be said here, and I'm gonna have to abbreviate it a bit. But in Proverbs 6 and 7, it talks about the strange woman, and it talks about the young man who falls for this woman. And it gives some serious, dire warnings about what happens when we allow the sexuality that God has created us for to be misconstrued, to be twisted and perverted and used in the wrong way. Sexual oneness or deep emotional oneness with any person we're not married to leaves us less than whole And there's a bunch of Bible warnings about that 1st Corinthians 6 15 to 20 ESV flee from sexual immorality every other sin a person commits is Outside the body but the sexual immoral sexually immoral person sins against his own body Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you whom you have from God you were not your own For you were bought with a price to glorify God in your body and I would just like to say This is for the younger men here now. Unmarried young men, especially. Speaking of being a protector, in the context of courtship, you have a responsibility to protect that young lady that you're courting by providing spiritual leadership, including reading the Bible, praying together, whatever it might be. Also providing emotional protection by not going too far too fast. Now, the whole courtship thing is meant, if it continues, to lead to emotional oneness ultimately, but in the right timing. And protecting her physically by keeping your hands to yourself. Now, exactly where the lines are, we can debate on and on. Hands off, almost hands off, whatever you want, you can argue that thing on and on. But a young man who does not respect a young lady by keeping proper boundaries, and we all know what they are, We all know what they are. Even if they're slightly different, we know in our heart what the proper boundary is. A young man who refuses to do that is violating that young lady's space, and he's violating her body, he's violating her person, and we have no business with our hands on a woman that is not our wife. Because until the day we're married, she could be another man's wife. And this is one of the areas where young men, single young men, need to be that protector. Rather than getting what we want, protect that young lady that is our calling. Stu Weber says, men stand tallest when they're protecting. And it will be worth every minute. The effects of moral failure are astronomical. And I need to close, but I'm just gonna briefly give a story. The young man I went to school with, and he was exceptionally attracted to the young ladies. Now, I was attracted to them as well. I noticed them, even in his second, third, fourth grader, I did. But this young man, his mind, Ever since I knew him, it was in the wrong place. And as he grew up, he entered into a dating relationship. And sometime later, I hadn't seen him for years, we met up in our youth group years. And he came to me one evening crying. And he said, my violation of her boundaries has caused our relationship to end. The young lady that he loved, that he wanted to marry sometime. And because he had violated her as a person and not respecting her boundaries, it drove the disrespect deep enough that they ended the relationship. He eventually married someone else and continued to struggle. As far as I know today, he's doing okay. But when we have deep patterns of wrong thoughts and actions in the area of immorality, it takes away God's blessing and brings a lot of pain and regret. Think about that, and especially use young men. Protect that young lady. And whether you're dating or not, protect those young ladies. That is your calling. Our calling as men is to protect them. I'm gonna close with that.