Good morning, everyone. Thanks. No, me and technology, there we go. Thanks once again to the church and for the opportunity to stand before you and to open a couple of verses from God's Word. If you've got a Bible, would you please turn with me to Ephesians chapter 5. Ephesians. In fact, I'm going to read from chapter 4 verse 17. We're talking at the very, looking at the topic of fathers who are not in heaven. Fathers who are not in heaven. Listen to the word of God. So this I say and affirm together with the Lord that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles. in the futility of their mind being darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their hearts. Chapter five, verse one, therefore be imitators of God as his beloved children and walk in love just as Christ also loved you and gave himself up for us as an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. Father, we pray that as we come to your word that you would help us to hear it and to understand it, to heed it, to be the kind of fathers that are farthest, that are pleasing to you. Lord, we pray that you would enable me by the power of your Spirit to lay your truth plainly and that you would give us fertile hearts that would hear the word and bear much fruit. We ask for this in Jesus' name. Amen. The Lord has given us many great provisions and many great blessings and When the Lord created Adam and Eve, even in the Garden of Eden, the Lord didn't say to them, well, there you are, you can just figure it out. The Lord, in his wisdom and greatness, gave them counsel. You can eat from every tree, but of that one you shall not eat. You are to exercise dominion over the birds and the plants and all the animals. And so even as fathers, when we live this side of the Garden of Eden, this side of Genesis 3, we realize as broken men that we don't have to figure it out all by ourselves. the Lord has given us instruction. And one of the places, just one of the places we'll go to today is Ephesians chapter six, verse four. And in Ephesians chapter six, the Lord tells us, his instructions to fathers, his fathers, do not exasperate your children instead, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. There are many other places that fathers are given instructions, but just for today, this is the one we will consider. We notice in that verse that there is a negative action to avoid. That is something fathers should not do. Fathers are to avoid exasperating their children. But also there is a positive instruction. There is something that we need to look to, an action to develop. Instead, we are to bring them up in the training and instruction. of the Lord. So my aim today is to look at what does it mean to exasperate our children, and in what ways do we commonly do it. What does it also mean to explain, oh sorry, to explain what it means to train and to bring up our children in the instruction of the Lord. Now, time is always my foe, so I hope I'm able to do all those things, and then I'll give some practical applications and suggestions. Just the background, as we come to Ephesians 6.4. It really, it starts in 4.17 that I read, where the Apostle Paul is saying to this little church in Ephesus that this is how you used to live, this is how the Gentiles are, but you are no longer one of those. As God's beloved children, you are to live differently. And then later on in chapter 5 verse 17 he says to them that we are to make sure that we live as wise, not unwise. So the implication is that the Gentiles who live lives that are unwise, who are darkened by their understanding, live a particular way. But you God's people are to be wise. Verse 16 he explains that the wise make the most of every opportunity living godly lives. Verses 18, he contrasts the wise and the unwise. The unwise get drunk from wine and live debaucherous lives. But the wise, on the other hand, are filled with a spirit. Not drunk from wine, but filled with a spirit. And then verse 19 to 21, he explains what it means to be spirit-filled. See, it doesn't mean that you speak in tongues. But it's a person who admonishes and encourages one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. In other words, as we speak to one another, that we constantly have the Word of God pouring from us. You know, it's interesting, when Paul wrote There was no printing press. People didn't commonly have the Bible. But they had the Psalms. They used to sing those. They used to sing spiritual songs, packed with theology. And so when they came to visit one another and encourage one another and pick one another up, or if one was grieving or mourning, they would recite these songs to one another, the Psalms, to plunge one another out of darkness and bring each other into light. So they used to speak God's word to one another. That's what it means to be To have the word of God residing in you and just coming forth plainly as you speak. But it also means that your whole demeanor towards life is one of thankfulness. That you go around being grateful for what the Lord has given you. Being thankful for the very many small blessings that he's given you. Verse 21, that they are a people who is submissive, who submit to one another and consider each other more important than themselves. Verse 22, the spirit-filled wife is a wife that submits to her husband, or the wise wife is a wife that submits to her husband. Verse 25, the spirit-filled husband is a husband who loves his wife as Christ has loved the church. Chapter 6, verse 1, the spirit-filled children are children who obey and honor their parents. And fathers who are spirit-filled are fathers who do not exasperate their children. So just by way of background, as we come to this verse, that we understand that what Paul, the background, the foundation that he's laid for us, is really to understand that as God's people, we're meant to live differently. We're people who are not controlled by wine. We are people who are controlled by the Spirit of God. And the results that that produces in children, in wives, in fathers, are as follows. So with fathers, he says, don't exasperate. This is the negative to avoid. What does it mean to exasperate? It means to goad, to irritate, to provoke, or to frustrate. Now, by profession, before I was a pastor, I had studied to be a teacher, and I lectured in a college for a little while. And I've loved teaching ever since I was a child. And when our kids were born, and I did this with my cousins' children, even when their kids were born, I would always try and figure out what was happening inside their brains, inside their minds, you know, figure out this human development. And I would play little tricks with them. You know, I'd put something in front of them and when they're trying to reach it, I'd move it and see what they're going to do. And you know, I'd do these little things and I did it with our kids. And the kids would get frustrated. They'd lunge for it, they'd move forward, they'd get upset. And my wife would say, don't do that. You're frustrating them. You see, I wasn't realizing. that by giving them a goal and a target that they couldn't reach, that they were becoming frustrated and angry. And I think so many times the Bible tells us as fathers, as we just go by a general demeanor of life, it is so easy to do things that provoke or frustrate our children. And I'm going to highlight some of those things. The result of kids who are frustrated by their fathers is that they grow up angry, is that they grow up wrathful, or that they grow up resentful. I remember when I was in college ministry, there was one particular young man who stood up for me who had come from a house where no matter what he did, it was never good enough for his father. And his whole life was just a resentment towards his dad. Interestingly enough, even when his child was born, his whole parenting model was shaped not on what the Bible says, but as a reaction to what his father had done to him. And so his father had done this, and he was going to go 180 degrees from the other side and do the opposite, without evaluating whether or not it was biblical. But he knew what it had done to him, and therefore he was going to avoid it by all costs. The results of a father who exasperates their child. Now, we need to understand, as Paul says this to Ephesians, the cultural context is that fathers are the absolute authority in the family. A father at this stage, if a child is born to them and they're displeased at their child, perhaps if the child is a different gender, the father has desired to have a boy and instead he has a girl, he could legally take that child and put them out to the cold, leave them exposed, and they would die. He could legally kill his children. This is the kind of cultural context in which Paul is saying, fathers, don't provoke your children. And so for this little church in Ephesus, maybe 15, maybe 20 people huddled together, sitting in somebody's living room, to hear this letter written to them, what Paul is saying is really revolutionary. They've never heard something like this, that a father is to not provoke, is not to use his authority like a lion does. but is to gently come alongside his child and train them. And oftentimes when I've said this message, I've heard people come to me and say, but this is not part of my culture. See, we don't do things this way. In our culture, we do things differently. And this is exactly what they said back then. But nonetheless, Paul insisted on it and said, remember, we are a people who are spirit-filled. And so I think some of the things that I shared today, for some of us, it might be difficult. It might be hard to hear. It might be convicting. It might be challenging. Or sometimes the bar might be so high that we think, I'm never, ever going to make it. But at least I think we must get comfort from the fact that Paul has already told us that we are filled with the Spirit of God, that he enables and he equips us to do that which we cannot do. The implications of being Spirit-filled, it goes without saying, but things that go without saying often need to be said. It's number one that you need to be born again. If you're not born again, you cannot do that which the Spirit requires you to do. Number two, the implication of being Spirit-filled is that in Galatians, Paul marks for us what are the fruit of the Spirit. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and so forth and so forth. And the question is, how do I become Spirit-filled? Do I, when I'm born again, receive the Holy Spirit of God, and that's it? Or are there certain things that as a Christian, certain disciplines that I need to continue doing and harnessing and being faithful in? I think as people who are spirit-filled, we need to watch and guide our relationship with the Lord carefully. I think it is hard to be spirit-filled without never ever reading your Bible. I think it is hard to be spirit-filled without coming to gatherings like this where we have the Word of God taught to us. I think it is hard to be spirit-filled without being in the habit of being on our knees and speaking to our Heavenly Father. And so if we're going to walk as a people who are spirit-filled, yes, all of us, when we come to the Lord, have got the Spirit of God. Ephesians tells us, as a seal that marks us, that indwells us. But the more spiritual we are, the more we have to have connection with the Word that the Spirit has caused to be written for us. the more we have to be a people who praise and who in our lives manifest the fruit of the Spirit. So fathers who want to make sure that they don't exasperate their children are fathers who want to live a life that is controlled by the spirit. This will enable us in our relationships to our children to manifest the fruit of the spirit, to be loving, joyful, peaceful, kind, and so forth and so forth. I think one of the ways in which fathers can exasperate their children is through criticism. Always saying things that are hurtful to our children. Always belittling our children. Showing no confidence in them. And sometimes it is not in everything that they do, but in one specific area. So when it comes to academics, they can never do it. Or when it comes to fixing the car, in that particular area, our kids can become so frustrated in the way in which we relate to them that we don't believe that they can do it. And whenever they offer help in that area, it's, no, don't worry, I'll do it. Oh, forget about it. Oh, no, no. We can exasperate them in such a way. It's never praising or complimenting them or congratulating them for anything that they do well. It's never thanking them for anything useful that they do or contribute to the family. So I think in what we say to our children, we ought to be careful. Now I'm not saying we should never be critical of what they say. But it should never be that what they hear from us is always criticizing and never praising. Or that the criticisms are often what they hear coming from us. I think the opposite effect is also true, that we have this halo effect that our kids are angels, that they can never ever do anything wrong. that they're darlings, that they're stars, right? So when the child can do wrong-wrong, when the child is praised for everything that they do, even when they do something mediocre, you go, oh, brilliant! Oh, this was the best day which I've had in my whole life. And so the kids grow up thinking that they are always the best. And when they come face-to-face with reality and life and people say, that's not really like that, They don't know how to handle it. I don't know if you have the show Idols here. In South Africa we have Idols and it's these people that sing. Now we never had a TV back home so I didn't get to watch it a lot. But I remember once as a family we were on a trip and we stayed with my uncle. And my uncle, as we arrived, he was watching this and I had no clue what was going on. You know, there was this at least three people who were on the show who were supposed to be singing at some singing competition, but they could not sing to save their lives. And first I was shocked that they got chosen to make it onto the show. But what really horrified me is as the judges were saying to them, you did not make the cut. You know, there's these interviews, two little, I don't know, two-minute snippets with each of them. All of them were horrified. Oh, I know I've got talent. You just can't recognize it. All their lives, they had been told by their mothers, oh, that sounds beautiful. Oh, that is amazing. And so even though, I mean, I can't sing to save my life, and I love music, but I know I can't sing. Because my family was honest enough to say, don't sing so loudly. But you see, these kids have been frustrated throughout their lives because in their family's eyes they could never do any wrong. And then when they came face to face with the truth, they just could not handle it. And so, we're told in the Bible about David, when his son Adonijah rised up against him, that David had never once crossed him or disciplined him. Even in that instance, to say to him that you are not to be king, Solomon is to be king, his father had never done that. And so we can understand why Adonijah just thought, you know, this belongs to me. The frustration of a dad who had never disciplined, rebuked, corrected a son. And sometimes we think we've been loving. I have quite a lot of cousins, and some of them are good at raising their kids, but some of them, they don't discipline their kids. Because they think it's loving. Because they think you've been cruel if you do that. And it's very interesting the pattern that you see arising. The kids who are the most troublesome, who don't want to go to school, who are in and out of school, who have even occasioned prison, are the very ones who have not been disciplined. And it's, you know, who has been the loving parent? It is difficult. It is hard. It is not nice to discipline your kids. But it is necessary. I think the third way, so the first way in which we can exasperate our kids is through being critical. The second way is having this halo effect. And then a third way is by us coming across as being the perfect dad. Being right all the time. Never saying anything wrong, never doing anything wrong. And so sometimes kids have this. Dad will never say that he's perfect, but we know that if something is wrong, and Dad is wrong, and we challenge him, somehow he's going to make it look like it was our fault. And so we never model to our kids what it means to ask for forgiveness. We never say, you know, I'm so sorry, I blew it. I shouldn't have. A few months ago, before we left Cape Town in South Africa, the kids had done something. I can't remember what it is. It's been a hard day. My wife was at home with them, and she was really angry. And she came out, and she was speaking to them, and her voice was higher than usual. And after she had gone, my little girl came with the Bible, and she turned to 1 Corinthians 13, and she put it on the bed, and she left. And so my wife picked it up, and it's the chapter on love. And she said, you know, why are you doing this? She said, well, mom, I think there are things in there that both you and I aren't doing. And she said, OK, well, what do you think I'm not doing? She said, well, I think we're not being loving to one another. Love is patient. Love is kind. And then she went through the whole, and so she said to her, Honey, I'm sorry. Won't you please forgive me? Come pray with me. And, you know, I came home and she told me all. And I thought to myself, how remarkable. One, that my daughter had known that the way in which to correct her mother was through using the scriptures. But two, it was that my wife was humble enough to acknowledge and to admit to this six-year-old that she had done wrong. And in that moment, we call them teachable moments, my daughter saw, and it's happened a few times, but she saw what it meant to ask for forgiveness, and how to respond when somebody points out a sin in your life that doesn't feel comfortable to point out. She had that modeled before. Sometimes it's when we're irritable. We frustrate or exasperate our kids when we're irritable. When we come home after a hard day's work and the pressure has been on in the office, and maybe you've been told things that you didn't want to hear at the office, and the kids know, you know, when he drives in this way, stay out of his way. And so it's not the discipline in that house that evening is not dependent on whether or not the kids have violated God's law or not. It's solely dependent on God's mood or the kind of day that dad has had in the office. It might result in yelling and speaking in a raised voice or totally withdrawing. You know, it's just, I don't want people around me. But the kids learn very quickly that that is irritable. And I think if we're honest, we all have certain trigger points, right? For me, it's if I don't sleep enough. There's many things I can do without, but sleep is not one of them. So if I don't sleep very well, I become irritable. And it's easy for me to blame the sleep It's not the sleep, it is me. And I need to know that I have this particular weakness. And so when I haven't slept enough, that I pray for the Lord to help me, to enable me not to be an irritable father. but a father that treats everybody the same. That sleep doesn't become my god, the idol that determines how I treat others. Or the hard day at work. Sometimes we exasperate our children when we are inconsistent. I think there are things that frustrate or exasperate children. There are few things that exasperate kids as inconsistencies. When they never know what is allowed or what's not allowed in the house. You see, we're inconsistent. The one day we discipline for this, and the next day we just let it slide. And so the child never learns what it is. Or the child does it, and they think, you know, there's a 50-50% chance. And we learned very soon, after we'd had our little one, that we had to be consistent in discipline. And the more consistent we were, the less we had to discipline. Sometimes my wife calls me and it's been a hard day. It's 10 o'clock and I'm sure all the mums can relate to this. It's 10 o'clock and there has been four or five spankings already. And you think to yourself, how am I going to make it to the end of the day? And sometimes she'd call and she says, you know, I don't know if I'm doing this right. I'm so tired. It's 10 o'clock and so and so has had five. One child has had five spankings already. What am I doing wrong? Should I carry on? Is it even worth it? And sometimes I have to take an early lunch break and go home and sort it out. But most times I encourage and say, you know, you're doing the right thing. I know it's hard at the moment, just carry on. And after a couple of minutes, sometimes the child has to come onto the phone and I have to speak to them. But you know, she just has to persevere another two or three times, have that consistency, and guess what? For the next week, that child is an angel. They're the best child that we've ever had. You know, but it doesn't happen often, but every now and then there's just that one day where they will test you and push the boundaries and push the boundaries and keep pushing. But whenever we crack at that point, we find that they've realized, ah, we can push the boundaries. But sometimes we just feel like giving up. And it's so important at that moment to just be consistent. That they know consistently, if I do something foolish, there is a negative consequence. If I do something wise, there is a positive consequence. They make that link early enough. It helps. Another one is one of the ways in which we exasperate our children is through favoritism. There are few things I think that can crush the soul of a child than the knowledge of knowing that I was not loved like so-and-so, or so-and-so is favored, or so-and-so is treated better. We read in the book of Genesis about how disheartened Joseph's brothers were to learn that their father loved Joseph more than they did, to the point where they actually wanted to kill him. Reuben, the elder brother, had to talk them out of it and say, you know, let's rather sell him. to the caravans that go to Egypt. And I think sometimes we show favoritism. We are a family that's a sporting family, or a musical family, or an academic family. But this one child, he just doesn't fit. And so we very subtly let them know, OK, we are musical, and you are sporty. And it's nice to be sporty, but this is really where it's happening. And so we tend to favor those child because we value sports or music more that excel in that. In our church there is a family with different children, eight different kids. And it is amazing that from the same set of genes that the kids can be so different. The one is into computers like you will not believe. from the time he was eight. He knew about modems and programming. Eight! The one is into literature. By the time he was 11, he had written everything that Shakespeare had read twice. The other one is into nature and adventures. Out in the back, he's bringing in snakes into the house and bugs, and the arrests just scatter. And so it's for us to know that our children are different and we ought to treat them like that. And we need to make sure that we esteem and value the different gifts that God has given them. And that we don't place a higher value on some than we do on others. One of the ways in which we exasperate our children is if we try and live our dreams through our children. And so maybe you could never do the sports or the athletics, and you're going to make sure that your child can. It doesn't matter if the child loves it or not. We have the thing in South Africa at the moment that my generation is the first generation after apartheid that has been liberated to go to university at a mass volume. And so many parents who had dreams of becoming doctors, And engineers and accountants are now forcing those dreams on their children. And many kids who have got no desire to be a doctor end up being doctors for no other reason but the fact that they want to please dad. And they frustrate themselves in a career that they don't have the gifts for, that they don't enjoy, because dad wants to be happy. And so it's important, I think, that we do want to encourage our kids to do different types of things, but that we be very careful that they're following their dreams and not our dreams. So those are some of the ways in which we exasperate our children. Instead, it says we ought to bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. What does it mean to bring them up? You see, the instruction to bring them up, first of all, you notice it's not given to the church. It's not given to the school, it's given to fathers. The fathers are to actively take part in bringing up their children. The school, the church, may complement what we do at home on a daily basis. So at home we should be doing this all the time, and the church just complements that. I'll give you an example. There's a guy in our church, the same family that I spoke about with eight children. They drive for about an hour to get to church, and then they drive back with eight kids. And on their way back to church every Sunday, this is what they do. They talk about what was taught in school, in church. And it's amazing, he always starts with the youngest so that they don't copy the answers of the eldest. All right, what did you learn? And then he moves to the next one, and he moves to the next one, and he moves to the next one. So what is he doing? Why is that so important? Number one, he communicates to the children that church is just not for the adults. The church is for them as well, that when they're in church, that he's expecting them to be sitting and listening and hearing what is happening. You see how he's bringing them up. Secondly, he gives him the opportunity to find out, you know, did they hear that correctly? Can I clarify? Are there any things that they were confused about? Thirdly, it gives him the opportunity to reinforce what they were saying in the car, what was taught in school throughout the whole week as they go through life. Those lessons can be reinforced. As they watch TV, as they read the papers, as they're on the playground, he can reinforce what they've been saying to him, make sure that they've learned the lesson. He says, remember when Pastor Raines said this? This is exactly what he meant. You see how that child is behaving? Remember when you were doing this on Wednesday? This is what Pastor Raines was talking about. He's pointing it out. Fourthly, it teaches the kids to be accountable. For me, when I heard this about this gentleman, it was a huge help to me. It held me accountable to know that the people and their children are listening attentively to what I'm saying, that they're going to pick it apart on their way home, and they're going to come back. Oftentimes, those kids would come to me immediately after I've preached, say, oh, that was a very good sermon. I mean, this guy's 11 years. That was a very good sermon. But you know, at this point, I think, 11 years old. At this point, this is what I think. It held me accountable to know that my sermon was being taken apart like that. So as fathers, it is our role to bring up our children, not to outsource it to the school or to leave it to moms. I think moms do play a role in bringing up our children, but oftentimes, dads just, they're lazy. They give that responsibility over to the mom, And they think, you know, I've got a very busy job, and I just need to focus on that. Or they just drink. And so they end up having a passive role. So the encouragement is that dad should actually take an active role in doing that. So we are to bring them up in the instruction of the Lord. What does it mean? To instruct talks about giving verbal guidance. It includes teaching, correcting, rebuking, encouraging, and verbally pointing them in the right direction. This means having family devotions with them every night. It means praying with them. It means applying the word of God in their lives on a day-to-day basis. It means correcting them. We weren't always doing this. But we learn very quickly when we correct our kids. One is, if they've done something wrong, to not just tell them that they've done something wrong, but to tell them what the right thing to do is. But secondly, to, as much as possible, connect it to the Word of God. And so if one speaks in a way that is not kind to their brother, that we ask them, you know, was that manifesting the fruit of the spirit? No. Which fruit was it not manifesting? Kindness. And so they can see continually that the Bible is the standard. That's instruct. Training, on the other word, means It's the idea of disciplining your child. You know, it's spring now. It's supposed to be spring anyway. You see a lot of people outside here getting ready. They're getting their bodies into shape. They're running. In South Africa we have a race called the Comrades Marathon. It's one of the biggest races in the world. It's on the same scale as the Boston Marathon. You get people from all over the world coming. It's 96 kilometers through heavy terrain, up and down the hills, rows and rows of hills. There are people who die doing that race. There are people who get heart attacks. There are people who just never make it across that line. And it is said that the top athletes who train for that race come back, rest for two days, and start for next year's race again. They discipline their bodies. They beat their bodies into submission. And so the idea here of training your kids, it's discipline, not just in the sense of punishment, but in the sense of making sure that your body is submitting. That your children have certain spiritual disciplines, certain exercises, certain routines that they have as they go through life that will form a biblical worldview. And I think oftentimes as evangelicals, we're very good at instructing our kids, at verbally letting them know what the scriptures say. I think oftentimes when it comes to training, we're not so good. Because oftentimes, you know, with training, the kids look at what we do. You know, we can tell our kids this is what we believe, but the kids know what we really believe is in how we behave. It's in the things that we do. So we can tell them that we love church, and we can go to church every Sunday, but what is our demeanor when we go to church? Is there a sense of joy and excitement that we're going to gather along the Lord's house, or is there a sense of duty and obligation? See, those are the things they pick up on. We can tell them that you should be kind, But then we speak to them with very short breaths. And we think, you know, why is this child not so kind? You realize, well, that's the way I speak to them. That's what I'm training them in doing. So what's our attitude towards church? You know, we've touched on that a little bit. Is there a sense of joy and excitement when we come to church? Do the kids grow up thinking, oh, this is exciting. You know, a child might ask you at some stage, Dad, It's 90 degrees outside. Johnny is going to the beach. Why are we going to church? And how you coin that answer is so important. It could be a sense of, you know, we really got to do this. Or it could be a sense, you know, there was a stage when I would have loved to have gone to the beach on a Sunday, pardon me. But the Lord has done a marvelous work in my heart. And because of that, it's a delight for me to be in church, to be amongst these people, to sing praises to him, to sit under his teaching. And as you unfold that, you actually, and you share the gospel with them once again, and let them know why it is that we go to church, why we look forward to being in church. You know what that does? It gives them a view that church is not just something that we do, but it's something that we're excited about. In our family, I can count the number of times that our children have missed church. We're in church all the time. And it's very important for me that they understood it wasn't just because dad was a pastor, but it was because we wanted to be there. So even when we're on holiday, the first thing we did is we looked at the place, and before we booked it, we made sure that there was a church that we could go to. See, they're not here today because they're all ill, and that's the only reason why they ever miss church. And so even when we were on holiday, they knew that we were going to go to church. There were some churches, towns, that once they were here, they knew they were going to see us. Oh, it's May, we were thinking, you know, it's time for your holiday. There you are. So church, Monday to Friday, we go to school, and Sunday we go to church. Our attitude towards family devotions, you know. What view do we give them about family devotions? I don't know what times you have your family devotion. Some households do it in the morning, some do it in the evenings. In our household, when we wake up, everybody has his own devotion in the morning. And then late at night, we have our family devotion just after dinner, along the dinner table. And we try and make it a fun time, something that we all look forward to. You know, we spend time at the family. We talk about the Bible, we discuss it, we laugh about it. But it's the Word of God, and then we pray. And sometimes you have those days when you've been out the whole day and you're just tired. You woke up, you went to a prayer meeting, you went to the beach, you went to see grandma, and you come home and you just want to collapse. And the kids say, Dad, we forgot to read the Bible. And you're looking at them and you're thinking, oh no. And you just want to say to them, you know, get your pyjamas on, brush your teeth, take your showers, and go to bed. And you realize, you know, if I say that to them, if I say, you know, it's been so tired, why don't we just skip that for today? That what I'm training them to do is to say, you know, if I'm tired enough, it's okay to miss the Word of God. See how subtle it is. But then you look them in the eye and you say, you know, thanks for reminding me. Grab your Bibles. And while they do that, you pray, Lord, give me superhuman strength to make it through the next 40 minutes. It's the worldview that they develop. It's dealing with calamities. When the paycheck has run out and it's three days before payday, when the phone rings and so-and-so has passed away, when the phone rings and this cousin is in hospital, that they realize and learn what is dad's first part of call when calamity hits. That we often, when we hear things like this, we get them together and we share the news with them and we say, let us pray. You know what that trains them to do? That when hardship and calamity hits, the first thing we do is go to God. Besiege His throne. That's training. It's looking at global issues and helping them understand them from a biblical worldview. It's what happened at Daytona the other day. I was reading about another shooting, a high school shooting. and talking through them and helping them understand what's going there, but looking at it from a biblical perspective. It's reading missionary biographies at special times, maybe every Sunday after church, or Sunday after lunch, or Saturday evenings. But you make it a fun activity, that they grow up with these stories about what God is doing in foreign countries amongst these people, how the gospel is going out, that they look up to these people. but it's not just dry, that it's something thrilling that they look up to. And I'm running out of time, I'm rushing through these last ones, just to say in conclusion that we have a Father in Heaven who does not exasperate us, who lovingly gave His only Son for us. And so maybe as I share some of these things to you, there are some things that are jumping out at you and you might be thinking to yourself, oh no, I've blown it and my kids have left the house already. And to say that there is grace, that there's still opportunity and time to influence. There's still time to pick up the phone. And it struck me how many times I have, in counseling situations, dealt with fathers like this. But they say, you know, when I picked up the phone and I phoned my son and I say, you know, I'm so sorry. For the fact that when I brought you up, I never did this, I never did this, I never did that. That what he does for the relationship is just unbelievable. And the chances for the father to continue influencing the child and the grandkids is just unbelievable. And so, it's never too late. And for us to remember these things are hard, but we do have a Father in heaven who is patient and loving and kind and gentle with us. And as Paul says that we are to be imitators of our Father in heaven and to look to him for strength. Let us pray. Lord, thank you that you have not left us in the wilderness. with regards to how we ought to raise our children, but that you have given us your word, and that your word does guide us and lead us. Lord, in addition to that, as if though that was not enough, that you have given us your spirit, who enables us and equips us to do this. Thank you for having given us the church, fellowship, fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord, who can come alongside us, who can encourage us, who can rebuke us, who can gently nudge us in the right direction. Lord, help us to be the kind of fathers that are pleasing to you, to be man after your own heart. We ask for this in Jesus' name. Lord, we pray for the mothers here, who as they're listening to this, who look at their husbands, who just have so much to discuss with them, maybe, and to encourage them, who know what the standard is, and who know what to thank them for, that they've been doing right, but also what to nudge them in the right direction for. Lord, we commit our sons and daughters to you and ask that they might be men and women who love lives that are pleasing to you. And that the result of doing this is not that men praise us, but that you alone are glorified. Amen.