Open your Bible tonight, please, to the book of Philippians. That's where we're going to be this evening, Philippians chapter 4. And did everybody get a handout? Here, anybody need a handout? Just raise your hand up really high. The ushers are right there ready to give you one. I don't see any, oh there's one right down front here. Bob, just hold your hand up high there, the men will make sure you get one of these handouts. So, and just so you know on this handout that we have with the logo that's at the top that has next steps and you see this guy on these steps and and all of that. I had somebody a while back, and Brother Phil, I can't remember if that was you or not, but I think it might have been Phil Lemp, who said to me, we've been coming here week after week and I noticed that that guy is always on the same step. Well, that's just a graph, okay? It's a graphic. pretend maybe it's an escalator or something like that that's going on to a moving sidewalk and we're making progress, okay? And that's all that is there. So we're in Philippians chapter 4 and if you're visiting with us, This evening, for our Sunday nights at Bible, we call it, we've been considering our essential relationships. And we've identified seven of those relationships that we are in the process of covering this year. I began with our relationship with God, and we spent three sermons on that, just trying to give us some practical instruction about the most important relationship that we have. relationship with with God. Pastor Bob's been dealing with our relationship with others there and last week you know Jason Padgett shared a terrific message with us on the friendship between Jonathan and and David and Pastor Bob's going to finish the topic with others here in the near future but this evening I want to address for us as we're moving forward here a matter that deals with all of our relationships because it deals with us personally. The common denominator that I have in my relationships is me. And the common denominator that you have in your relationships is you. It's you and God. It's you and others. It's you and your family. It's you and your co-workers. It's you and your neighbors. It's you and the world in general. So I want to deal tonight with us. with us as individual people. I want us to think tonight, as you can see in the handout here, about attracting relationships, becoming a person that people want to be around. And we're going to look at that out of Philippians chapter 4, And the first eight verses. Now just to remind us of where we are in Philippians, I know many of us here, Philippians may be your very favorite book in the Bible, such practical instruction for our Christian life. But just if you're not that familiar with it, let me just lead us up to the prior chapter in chapter three of Philippians that deals with the subject of Christ's likeness. That is the believer's goal. That is really our prize. That's what God intends. And you remember those verses in Philippians 3, that we might be conformed to the image of Christ, being conformable to his death. Paul writes there in verse in verse 10, verse 11, if by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead. Not as though I already, but I'm in this process of growing and God is changing me to conform me into the image of his son. That's what that is all about. And as we're in this process of seeking to be conformed to the image of his son, Any one of us in here who that has been your goal, you've really striven to do that in your life. You have been confronted in a very powerful way with the big three enemies that we have as Christians. The world, the flesh, and the devil hate our conformity to Christ. And so the culture, the world in which we live, it is no friend to God to help us on to God as the hymn writer said. The world's not going to be a help, it's going to be an enemy for us. You understand your flesh and my flesh, every step that we take toward God, our flesh opposes. It is not subject to the law of God, Romans tells us, neither indeed can it be. It will always oppose every step that we take toward God. And then, of course, our arch enemy, the devil, is always going to be standing against any measure that we take to be conformed to the image of Christ. And so those enemies just combine to really assault us as we are pursuing a desire to be conformed to the image of Christ. So that's what we've got in chapter 3. Then we get into chapter 4 where we're going to be in these first eight verses. And I explain all of that because the first word in chapter 4 is the word therefore. And that's exactly what Paul is hearkening back to, that word, therefore. It's pointing back to this process of our being conformed to the image of Christ. And Paul is exhorting believers, and you see what he says there in verse one? Therefore, my brethren, dearly beloved and longed for my joy and crown. And then he says this, so stand fast in the Lord, my dearly Beloved. He's speaking to us here about the importance of us standing. The imagery here is of a platoon of soldiers that are standing shoulder to shoulder together as they're marching forward until the victory is won. That's the image of this word here. It's a military term and that's the picture. Soldiers standing side-by-side, we're on a mission and we're not stopping till the mission has been completed. That's the image that is here, is standing fast. So, well, how do we do that? And Paul goes on here in the next eight verses and he gives us several basic principles that lead to stability in our lives, which is what makes us attractive to other people. No one wants to be around unstable people. No one wants to be in unstable situations. We like stability. and we're attracted to stable people. When we are looking for role models or people that we can seek counsel from, we are not going to chaotic people. We're going to people who, it appears, they have a measure of stability in their lives, and that's attractive to us. Whether that's people that we see, young families, young parents are looking at parents that are above them, and they're looking at how they've raised their children and things that are important to them. Well, they're not going to just chaotic families. They want to go to the stable ones. They want to say, OK, can you can you just tell us what was so important to you as you were raising your children? Because those stable families, those stable individuals, they are attractive and they're attractive to to all of us, not chaos. We'd much rather be in a stable situation and we would prefer that our children, right? Every parent here, you want your children to be in stable situations. You want them to seek out friends that have a measure of stability about them, not friends that are just wildly chaotic and don't seem to know what in the world, which end is up. Stability is attractive to us. And so how do we become stable people and therefore attract relationships rather than repelling them? That's what I want us to look at tonight and that's what Paul is dealing with here in Philippians chapter 4. So we're going to look at five characteristics, qualities that we as Christians ought to strive for in order to make us attractive people no matter what the relationship is, whether it's home or work or the neighborhood or church or whatever it is. These are qualities that help us to become stable people. Just listen. We're just going to read all the verses together and then we'll walk our way through them. Philippians 4 verse 1. Therefore, my beloved, my brethren, dearly beloved, long for my joy crowned, so stand fast in the Lord, my dearly beloved. I beseech you, Odias. and I beseech Syntyche, that they be of the same mind in the Lord. And I entreat thee also, true yoke fellow, help those women which labored with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and with other my fellow laborers whose names are in the book of life. Verse four, rejoice in the Lord always. And again I say, rejoice. Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. And then, of course, these are probably the most familiar verses here to us, maybe in chapter 4, except possibly verse 13. Paul says here in verse 6, Be careful for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your request be made known unto God. And the peace of God, that kind of peace which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue and if there be any praise, think on these things. And maybe we'll just read verse nine. Those things which you have both learned and received and heard and seen in me do. And the God of peace shall be with you. I want us to note five qualities that make us attractive people, no matter what the relationship is that we are dealing with. And the first one is this in your handout. We ought to strive for a spirit of unity. not a spirit of division. A spirit of unity and not a spirit of division. He's emphasizing here the importance of unity in our relationships and to attract people. You want to be a person who promotes unity and rather than division. And I think we all understand that. You don't want to be around people that are constantly creating issues with other people, that are constantly dividing people. That's not godly. God is for unity. God is not for division. The devil wants to divide everything that God puts together. Whether it's a church or it's a family or whatever it is, the devil is always wanting to divide. That is not God's heart. When the Lord Jesus came, and some of you may be thinking, well, I thought when Jesus came, he was saying, well, no, I'm going to divide. He's talking about truth there. When he's coming, he's going to preach truth, and there's going to be a total difference from truth and non-truth. But when we're talking about truth, we are talking about something that's very near to the heart of God, and God is for that. He is for unity. And you know the word beseech when Paul's using here in verse 2. Again, he's just telling us the heart of this. This is an imploring. This is a begging that Paul is doing here. And God intends that his children are working together in unity rather than being split apart by division. You have a note in there that has the one another passages. I don't think, I was just reflecting on this earlier today, I don't think I've ever preached through in the 28, nearly 28 years here, I don't think I've ever preached through all of these one another passages. That's a great study. Looking at all of those and just categorizing them in the different categories to kind of streamline things. But I have them listed here and I just want you to listen. I'm just going to read through these. And this is the heart of God about our unity. One another, He says. Just listen to these. Romans 12, 10. Be kindly affectioned one to another. That says a lot. Same verse. Preferring one another. 12, 16, be of the same mind one toward another. Romans 13, verse 18, love one another. 14, 10, let us not judge one another. 14, 19, follow after that one may edify another. 15, 5, be like-minded one toward another. 15, 7, receive ye, that means accept one another. Sorry, I lost my place. My place there. Yeah, 15, 14, admonish one another. First Corinthians 12, 25, care for one another. Galatians 5, 13, by love, serve one another. 6, 2, bear ye one another's burdens. Ephesians 4, verse 2, forbear one another in love. 32, be ye kind one to another. And again, forgive one another. 519, speak to yourselves to one another. 521, submit yourselves one to another. Colossians 3.9, lie not one to another. 13, forbear one another. And again, 13, forgive one another. Verse 16, teach and admonish one another. 1 Thessalonians 3 and verse 2, increase and abound in love one to another. 1 Thessalonians 4, 18, comfort one another. There's so many different things that God is telling us to interact with people, one another on. Chapter 3 in verse 13 of Hebrews, exhort one another daily. Chapter 10 in verse 24, consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works. James 4.11, speak not evil one of another. Chapter 5 verse 9, grudge not. Don't complain against one another. James 5.16, confess your faults. one to another. 5.16 again, pray one for another. 1 Peter 1.22, love one another with a pure heart. 1 Peter 4.9, use hospitality one to another. 1 Peter 5.5, be subject one to another. 1 John 3, 11 and 23 and chapter 4, 7, 11 and 12. love one another and second, John five, love one another. So you can see the interactions here. And that's a great study, by the way, just to pull those down into all the different categories. But you can see those words. Those verbs that that God is using when he's talking to us about our dealings with one another. And you notice that none of those are telling us to divide ourselves from one another. We are engaged, actively engaged in the lives of each other. Which, of course, is promoting a spirit of unity, and you want to be that kind of person. We want to strive to be people that are engaged in one another's lives, trying to help and bring people together, not pushing them apart and dividing them. So that's important. We need one another. And the more isolated that a believer is from fellow Christians, the more unstable that person is likely to be. So we need one another, we need the fellowship of one another, we need the involvement of other people in our lives. And that's the spirit of unity. In your notes here, what does unity mean? You see the essence of unity in verse 2, when he says to them, he says to these ladies here in the church, euodius and syntyche, that they be of the same mind in the Lord. That's the idea of unity. It means, in your notes there, to live in harmony. That's what it means. Unity means to live in harmony with one another. You want to have unity in your family, you want to be in harmony. A unity in a church. It's a church that the people are, not that they're cookie cutters of one another, but they're walking together in harmony, even in the midst of their differences there. So it means to live in harmony. Well, here's a question in your notes there. Is there ever a time when conflict is acceptable? Is there ever a time when conflict? So we want to be people of unity. Is there ever a time where we're not going to be people of unity? Only when truth is at stake. Only when truth is at stake, we may have differences amongst ourselves. And in any organization or relationship with relationships, that's going to be true. None of us is exactly the same. And we're going to look at things differently from time to time in our personal choices and our personal preferences. And we can maintain those differences and still dwell together in unity. But you can't if truth is at stake. If someone's coming in and saying, well, you know what? I don't believe Jesus is born of a virgin. I just don't believe that. That's just crazy. Well, then we're talking about truth. We're talking about clear truth taught in the Bible. Well, that has to divide. Then you have to say to that person, no, that's not right, and that kind of teaching will never be welcome here. So unity is what we want to strive for. And the only time that there may be acceptable conflict is over truth. Clear, revealed truth in the scripture. That means personal conflicts that we have with one another. Those have to be resolved. I don't know what those are. I'm sure that they happen in all of our lives, in any church. Sometimes things happen, people get their feelings hurt about it. I'm not aware of any of those things right now, but I'm not foolish enough to believe that there are none of those. that those things happen in a church. Well, we have to always, being a person of unity, you want to always strive to get those things resolved. Always. Whether that's in a family, whether that's with your co-workers, whether that's with your neighbor, or whether that's in your church, wherever that is, you want to always get those conflicts resolved. We don't really know anything about these two ladies Except verse three tells us that they were good workers in the church. They were good workers in the church. And that reminds us that even mature believers can get sidewinded from time to time about things, even mature believers. And you can see that there when Paul is saying there, Help these people. These are women which labored with me in the gospel." That word labor is a strong word. They labored with me in the gospel. And now they're in trouble with one another. Help them that they be of the same mind. And then he uses a word, suzugas, true yoke fellow. That word has the idea of two oxen that are pulling together on the same load. That's the word there, true yoke fellows. Some of the commentaries think that this word tsutsugas is actually addressing a specific person. That instead of using that phrase, he's actually using a name. And we don't know that. Some have suggested, some actually suggested Paul's wife or Timothy's or Epaphroditus or are different ones. Some believe he's talking to the church as a whole, but we don't really know if this is an actual person's name or not, but the idea is Paul is just urging them, come together and help these people. And one of the ways that we can attract people around us is to be a person who promotes unity in our relationships rather than division. And can I just say, it is difficult to underestimate how important unity is to God. It is difficult to underestimate that. In any relationships, God-ordained relationships, when God has put a husband and wife together, God intends that they dwell in unity. When God's put a family together, God intends that they dwell together in unity. When God has put a local church together, He intends that that local church dwell together in unity. And there are so many places that we can turn to. Some passages may be coming to your own mind where you know how important that is to the heart of God and what God has to say about that. It's very difficult to underestimate that or to overestimate the importance of that. Be a person that has a spirit of unity. Then you get to verse four, and you know what that is. Be a person of joy, a spirit of joy. You like to be around joyful people, not sad people. And you like for your children to be around people that are joyful, happy souls. You want that. And that's something that's attractive to you, and you want that for your your family, you want to be a joyful person. And, you know, this is what Paul says here, rejoice in the Lord always. And again, I say rejoice. We're commanded to have this spirit of joy about us. That is a present imperative there in the original language, which means it's supposed to constantly be happening, a habitual practice. And it's not a particular emotion or feeling. It's not just a fatalistic resignation. Well, you know, whatever's going to happen is going to happen. So you might as well just put a smile on your face and go on. That's not what this word is. That's not the idea of a joy. Joy is a deep down confidence. Here's the way I like what John MacArthur said in his commentary. He says this, joy is a deep down confidence that God is in control of everything for the believer's good and his own glory. And thus, all is well, no matter what the circumstances. That's a good thought there. My joy is God is in control of everything. Because, you know, we can often find reason cannot find reason to joy in our circumstances. We can often find reason for that. The general wickedness in the world, the sorrows that come with life, the misery and suffering that we deal with from time to time. There are plenty of reasons that come about in our circumstances that can cause us not to find joy in those circumstances. Sometimes we don't find joy in people. People hurt us. People disappoint us. People change. You think about the circumstances here of these people. I wish we don't have time to go, I'm going to have to skip that, but if we look back in Philippians and the people that Paul is writing to, and the circumstances that they were enduring were challenging times. So here's the question in your notes. Where do we get our joy? Paul says, rejoice in the Lord. Here's your note. The only sure, reliable, unwavering, unchanging source of joy is God himself. And that phrase, rejoice in the Lord, introduces an important spiritual principle for us, spiritual stability is directly related to how a person thinks about God. And you see this in your note here, the secret law of the soul is that we operate based on what we know and believe about God. And that is true. Pastor Bob reminded us, I think maybe on a Wednesday night, a few weeks ago from what A.W. Tozer said, when a man thinks about God. The thoughts that come into his mind when he thinks about God are the most important thoughts that he has. It's the most important thing about him. What we think about God, that is the secret law of the soul that I am going to operate based on what I really know and what I really believe about God. So our knowledge of God's person is a cause for joy. The individual who knows great truth about God is going to find it a whole lot easier to rejoice than the person who doesn't. I wish we had time to park there, but we don't. And then also, our knowledge of God's words is a cause for joy. And I put down just some of the promises of God that we find in Philippians 4, 19. He's going to meet our needs. Psalm 84, 11, For the Lord God is the sun and shield. The Lord will give grace and glory. No good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. And then you'll have to look at Matthew 6, 28 to 33. But we must note as well that powerful word always that you see there in verse four. And that, of course, highlights the truth that a spirit of joy is to always be the spirit of our life. And that any of us who's walked with the Lord long, we know that that can only be true when we're not looking at our circumstances and we're not looking at people. There's a confident relationship that we have with God and we know something about God and we have seen him working in our lives and in the lives of others. And so no matter what the circumstances are, no matter what the offense was or whatever, I can have joy in my life. Those don't have to rob me of this. Okay, number three is a spirit of graciousness. It's a spirit of graciousness. You say, well, where is that? It's actually in the word moderation. When Paul says there in verse five, let your moderation. Be known to all men that that word moderation, it's a very rich word. A lot more rich than an English word conveys. And so you have it, it's translated in different ways. When people speak about this, then they may speak about, for example, sweet reasonableness, generosity, goodwill, friendliness, magnanimity, charity toward the faults of others, mercy toward the failures of others. leniency, high hearted, big heartedness, forbearance, gentleness. There are just a few ways that people would define this word. It occurs four other places in the Bible. And I'm going to show you all four of those just real quickly. First Timothy three, three, not given to wine, no striker, not greedy, a filthy lucre, but patient is the word, not a brawler. Not covetous. Similarly, Titus 3, 2. To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, showing meekness unto all men. James 3, verse 17. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, and here's the word gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. And then 1 Peter 2.18, servants, be subject to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward. And when you look at the contrast that are made in these verses, gentle, not a brawler. And to the gentle, but also to the froward. There are opposites there. So moderation, I don't know if this is in your notes or not, moderation refers specifically to how we handle ourselves in the midst of injustice. I wish our time, I'm looking at that clock and it's really fleeting away. This is what is the idea of this word moderation. Instead of having vengeance, it's me having a gracious spirit. This word, I think this is in your notes, has the idea of a humble graciousness that produces the patience to endure injustice, disgrace, and mistreatment without retaliation or bitterness or vengeance. And what's the key to that? What's the key to having a gracious spirit? Let your moderation, he says, be known unto all men. And then he tells us the Lord is at hand, he says. And that, of course, is the Lord is near. And this is in your notes, the stable believer lives with a constant awareness that God is near. And he is always at work. He has a very present help in trouble. So I can be gracious, and you remember what Romans, this just comes to mind, Romans, is it 15, 17 or somewhere around there, where Paul is exhorting us there, don't take vengeance, right? Where God says, vengeance is mine. I will repay when you're suffering injustice. Be gracious. Don't be spiteful and vengeful. The Lord is at hand. God knows what he's doing. And for whatever reason, God has allowed this into your life. And so be gracious about it. God is keeping the score and God says, Vengeance is mine. I will repay. And so be a gracious person. And you like being around gracious people. You don't much care to be around spiteful people. You don't much care to be around vengeful people. You don't want your children around people who are constantly seeking to, in spite, treat people wrongly. You don't want your children around that. You'd much rather be somebody that has a gracious spirit about them. So there's a spirit of graciousness, number four, and very quickly, a spirit of faith and not fear. Faith and not fear. And Paul tells us here, you know these verses well, so we're just gonna scoot right through. Paul tells us here, this is what we have a right to be anxious over, to worry about. And of course, you know the answer to that, nothing. Be careful. be anxious. You heard us when we talked about this word before and it's a really picturesque word. Our heart are being pulled in different directions. Our hopes are pulling us one way, our fears are pulling us another way. That's our anxiety. That's what anxiety is all about. We look at our resources. Oh, I don't have the resources to cover that need. So I get anxious. I'm tied in knots. My fears are saying that bills do and I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know how I'm going to pay for it. Oh, now you know what? Now, OK, this is going to work. Well, then we're more hopeful. And we just go back and forth and back and forth in those kinds of moments. That's worry. That's anxiety. And Paul says, no, no, no, you don't have a right to do that with anything. And we understand that worry is Satan's device to rob the believer of his peace. And he often does that in our lives. We often live just very anxious lives. And it's the devil just robbing us of peace. People become worried or anxious because they do not trust God's wisdom, power or goodness. They fear that God is not wise enough. He is not strong enough or he's not good enough to prevent the disaster. Now, that's a very strong statement, I know. But really, when the rubber meets the road, that's what's going on in our lives. Difficulties come and we're overwhelmed in a situation and we're looking at it all within ourselves and our own resources. or we're not looking at God rightly. And we question whether he's wise and what he's allowed here, or whether he's strong enough, powerful enough to deal with this situation, or whether he's good enough. It's in his heart to help me in this situation there. And then instead of worry, as you know, here's what you have a right to pray about everything. And we like to be around people that are confident people, have a faith in God that's just so inspiring to us instead of fearful people. People that are constantly tied in knots about this and this can often get us tied in knots with them. And we want to be around people that are just, they're inspirational. They just love God and they are confident in who God is and what God can do. And so they just encourage us. Well, we want to be around those people. And then finally, number five, a spirit of wisdom, not foolishness. And here Paul is addressing just the matter of our thinking, And we don't have time to go into all of those different words, but in your notes here, the Bible clearly teaches that people's lives are the product of their thoughts. And I give you Proverbs 23, 7, for as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. That's biblical truth. My life is a product of my thoughts. Mark chapter 7, 20 to 23, and he said, that which cometh out of the man, that's what defiles the man, for from within, out of the heart of men proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness, all of these evil things come from within and that's what defiles the man. That's what makes him think wrong and do wrong. It's what's coming from inside of him. As a man thinks in his heart, so so is he. Well, then he goes on to tell us in verse eight. Now, think, think along these lines. And, you know, these words, we don't have time to go through all of them. What's true and honest and just and pure and lovely and is of good report. Then think on those things. And so your last blank there, remember this, right thinking is a choice. Paul says, think on these things. Don't be trapped by other things. Think on these things. So this is how we attract relationships. Focusing on these kinds of qualities in our lives And we ought to pray this for ourselves and for one another. And just looking at them again here, and I specifically put a contrast in there just to help us get that concept. We want to be around people that have a spirit of unity about them, not division. That's attractive, unity attracts. And the same with joy instead of sadness, joy attracts. Graciousness instead of vengeance, graciousness attracts faith. attracts, fear does not. Faith attracts and wisdom attracts, not foolishness. None of us want to walk with foolish people and we don't want our children walking with foolish people. We want them to walk with wise people. And these are qualities that attract, and this is true whether we're talking about our relationship with God, whether we're talking about our relationship with others, our relationship with our co-workers, our relationship with our church family, our relationship with our neighbors, our relationship with the world in general, no matter what it is, these are things that make people attractive to one another. And so we want to strive to have this kind of a heart and a spirit in our lives. Well, let's pray together.