I want to thank Dr. Custer for this opportunity to preach from scriptures this month of May on this important topic of raising children. My wife and I are very thankful to be here at Trinity. It's a wonderful place to be. We've been here since 1986. And this is the church that I was ordained at. This is just this is home for us. Somebody came up to me not so long ago from the church are very kind. I wasn't offended at all and said to me, Greg, are you interested in pastoring the church here in the community full time? I know the church is looking for a pastor and I could recommend you that way. And I didn't really ask him the name of the church or the location immediately. I just said, no, I'm not interested. If I'm here in Greenville, why would I be? Why would I want to be anywhere else but a Trinity? Maybe the Lord one day would have our family to go minister somewhere else, maybe in a different state or Maybe on the mission field, that would be wonderful. But if we're here in this area, this is our home. I appreciate so much, Dr. Custer, and the other elders that we have here, and all the people here that make up our church family. And tonight as a family, we address a topic, and that topic has to do with raising children. And so this evening, I bring an introductory message that I entitled, simply enough, A Biblical View of Children. A Biblical View of Children. Now, as I preach tonight, I think I'll be fine. I feel fine. My voice may give out a little bit. And if it does, I'll just take a sip of water. And if you'd be patient with me and even pray for me, as you would think of it, I certainly would appreciate that. But I do even sense now that the fact that people have prayed for me this afternoon because I feel just fine. I'm thankful for your prayers. How are we supposed to raise children? How are we supposed to raise children? Think about it. If you want to get a driver's license in the state of South Carolina, you have to take a test. You have to take a test to show a certain level of confidence. And if you don't pass that test, you don't get a license because you're not considered competent enough to drive a car. If you would like to fly an airplane in, I would assume anywhere in the United States, you have to take, I would guess, a series of tests. And if you don't pass that series of tests, you don't get certified if that's the right word to be a person who's able to fly because you're not considered competent enough to fly an airplane. We take different people, for example, teachers, and we make a law that says if you don't have a bachelor's degree, you can't become a certified teacher because you don't have enough education. The same holds true for accountants and physicians. But isn't it interesting that We really don't do that with children. We just assume that two people come together. There's a child and immediately somehow by that biological act of fathering or mothering a child, that somehow they should just know how to raise children. And that's a problem. And as Christians, I think we realize it's a problem because we look around at the world that's surrounding us and we realize that our world is in a mess. We live in a world that continually tries to bring up same-sex marriage as an acceptable way of having a family. They talk of all the different alternative families that are acceptable. And now we have, in the not-so-recent future at least, our president's wife talking about the concept of the global village. Somehow they're not my children, but they're our children, and they're the responsibility of the nation rather than a parent or a set of parents. And then when we as Christians maybe give forth our viewpoints that are biblical, people laugh at us. People mock at us. They say, what do you want? Leave it to Beaver, you know, and everybody laughs as if somehow that is so outdated and so incredibly foolish that nobody would want to have a traditional home anymore, where dad goes out and work, where mom stays home and takes care of the children. And a biblical view of a family is believed. in practice. Well, what do most of us do? I'm convinced of it. I see it in my own life, sometimes for good, sometimes for bad. I think what most of us tend to do is we tend to raise our kids just the same way our parents raised us, because that's what we're comfortable with. Now, some of you come from some pretty good homes and you have godly moms and dads, and that's great. And you simply use your mom and dad as a pattern in raising your children. That's wonderful. The problem is there are some people in this room who come from less than wonderful homes. And for you to use your parents as a pattern is maybe not a very good thing. I think maybe you've heard this of that little story. I don't know if it's true or not, but there was a woman making a ham on Thanksgiving one day and she took the ham and she put it in the pan. And right before she put it in the pan, she cut off a couple of inches off the end and put it in the oven and cook the ham. And her daughter said, Mom, why do you cut the end off the ham? And mom says, I don't know, that's just the way my mother did it. And so that mother then called up her mother and said, why do you cut the end off the ham? And she said, I don't know, that's the way my mother did it. Well, the great-grandmother was still alive, and they finally said to her, great-grandma, why do you cut the end off the ham before you make it, or why did you do that growing up? And she said, because we had a very small oven, and a full ham wouldn't fit in there. And we do this. I think of a good friend I've had who's no longer here. I think this is safe to say. I don't think you could identify him. And he was a good guy. He and his wife attended Trinity here in his family. And every now and then he and his wife would have a disagreement, not a knockdown, drag out fight, but every now and then they would have a disagreement. And he says, Greg, it gets me so frustrated because every time we have a disagreement, my wife storms out the door, jumps in the car and drives around and she'll be gone for two hours. And then finally she'll come back. And I said to him, I said, where did she go? He said, I don't know. That's what I'm asking you. What do you think? And I said, well, why don't you just sit down and ask her? He said, well, I guess I've been afraid to. I said, well, just ask her. He said, OK. So he sat his wife down and he said, listen, he said, whenever we get into a disagreement, you just leave and you're gone for two hours. Where do you go? She says, nowhere. I just drive. He said, why do you do that? She says, well, that's what my mom did when my mom would fight with my dad. He said, so why do you do it? She said, I never thought about it. That's just the way it's always been. And that's just what I've learned from my mom and dad. Some of us fall back on how our parents have raised us. Others go to the library. We get books on how to raise kids from a Christian viewpoint. And some of these books, no doubt, are good. And we do have some good books in our library here. But you know, many of these books really take a quasi-Christian view, take a little bit of some psychological approach, and mix them together in a way that really, I think, is often more harmful than helpful. For example, you can pick up a book by Kevin Lehman called The Birth Order Book, and it'll tell you the whole key to raising your kids is whether they were born first or second or third. Because we all know that if they're born first, they have a certain type of personality about them, right? Because we all know that there's more firstborn presidents in the world, right? Well, my response is there's more firstborn people in the world. So, of course there is, but there I go thinking, OK. And there's other books that if you don't want one on birth order, you'll find one that says, why don't you find out personality type? And so you can pick up a book by somebody, for example, like Tim LaHaye, and you'll find out the whole key is finding out whether your child's sanguine or choleric or melancholic or whatever. And if you don't like that, if you want more of a warm and fuzzy version, you get a book by a guy like Gary Smalley. And in his personality test, rather than using cold names like Caleric, he uses the otter, the lion, the beaver, and the golden retriever. And allegedly, if you can identify what kind of child you have, then you'll know how to raise that child. And many people take psychological tidbits and mix them with the Bible. Other people, what they do is they tend to take points that are quite minor but they make them major. For example, you can read a book on how to feed your child God's way. Feeding your child God's way. Now that's an interesting thought. I've read this Bible through a number of times. I'm not saying I can remember every single verse, but the best I know, I've never seen God's way of feeding a child in this book. And yet there are books written on feeding a child God's way. Christian authors who argue, should a child have a pacifier? Or is that maybe deception? because they're sucking on it, but there's nothing there. All right. Is this a good thing? Biblical potty training or how to make a list of chores on the refrigerator? And don't get me wrong. There are certainly principles that apply to feeding children that I think are wonderful, that apply to training children that are wonderful. But we don't need to take these minor points and make them major points. Some people would say, you know, we need to do we just need to return to traditional family values. Now, I guess many of you are familiar with Dr. Laura on the radio. I don't listen to her regularly. Sometimes when I'm in my truck, I'll listen to Dr. Laura and hear what she has to say. And she always talks about doing the right thing. Now, go and do the right thing. And I've always wanted to say to Dr. Laura, what is the right thing? I mean, she ends her phone calls with, go and do the right thing. Someone tell me, what is the right thing? She's a practicing Jew. What is the right thing? See, we have to have a standard somewhere if we're going to have family values. Whose family values? We have to have a standard if we're going to do the right thing. What is the right thing? We find the right thing in the Bible. And I am convinced that the greatest need that we have is to identify basic principles of scripture and apply them. My guess is when I'm done preaching tonight, and maybe even four weeks from now, some of you are going to even be a little disappointed with me. Because you might think, Greg, everything you've said, I already know. That's fine. I am convinced that what we need to do is to master the basics. We don't need a new technique. We don't need Mazak's view or your view of raising children. I honestly believe that what we have in Scripture is enough, and if we will simply identify by God's grace the principles of raising children and apply them consistently in our home by God's grace, that God will bless our families. You say, why do you believe that? Because of 2 Timothy 3.16. Let's go there just by way of introduction, please. 2 Timothy 3.16. In 2 Timothy 3.16, we'll read through verse 17 as well. Paul writes that all Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable. And then I'm going to jump down to verse 17. That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works. Now note verse 17. That the man of God might be perfect or adequate, thoroughly equipped for every good work. Does every good work include the work of being a parent? And the answer is yes. So in the Bible, do I find everything that I as a father need to be perfectly equipped to raise my children? Yes. I don't need any type of insight from any type of psychologist, and I teach psychology. I don't need any type of insight from anything other than God's Word. In this book, according to 2 Timothy 3, 16 and 17, I find everything I need to do what God wants me to do. So what I'd like for us to do is to simply consider a few foundational biblical principles of child rearing. And I don't preach these to you as one who can stand up and say, trust me, because I've done it. Because I haven't done it. And my children are in their elementary school years. And thus I admit, I come to this task with a sense of fear because I don't know the future. And if my children were raised and all serving the Lord as pastors, wives or missionaries or faithful lay people, I would be speaking with a little more confidence, a confidence that I don't have right now. So when I preach this evening and the next three weeks, I simply say I preach to myself. Some of you have raised families. And you have raised godly children. And your children are faithfully serving the Lord. And you might even be sitting tonight thinking, Greg, you haven't even been through this and you're talking about it. All I could say is I covet your prayers and trust that you would pray for me. That maybe my children would follow the paths of yours. I'm going to ask two very basic questions to cover two very basic points this evening. My first question is simply this, are children a burden or a blessing? My second question, are children headed for heaven or headed for hell? Two very basic questions. My first question again, are children a burden or a blessing? You know, throughout history, it's been true that many people have viewed children as a burden. If you study the Roman culture in the New Testament times, you'll learn about a practice called exposure, where parents would take their children, typically daughters, because they didn't want daughters, they wanted sons. And they would take their little girls and after birth, they would just walk out to the side of the hill and put those little girls on the side of the hill, basically saying to the gods, OK, you gave me a daughter, you take care of her. And it's said that in certain hillsides in Rome, you had to be careful where you step because the side of the hill was littered with the decaying bodies of young girls that had been abandoned on the sides of hills. Now, that sounds pretty gruesome to us. I'm not sure that a modern day America with our legalized abortion is a whole lot better. And we have women who become pregnant and for whatever reason, they go out and they kill their own flesh and blood. And they get an abortion. Why? Because they view their children as a burden. And every now and then we hear, even as we've heard in the last year or so, about that girl who was at her prom and stopped dancing long enough to birth her child in the restroom, cast it aside in that restroom and go back to the dance floor so she didn't miss the next dance at her prom. And this is how we sometimes view children as a burden. Now, most people would never really do something like that. I think none of us would do that. But I sometimes wonder about the jokes that we make when we maybe see big families. I mean, what do you say to people that have many children and yet she's expecting again? And you say something like, hey, you know, we're not Roman Catholic. You know, we don't believe birth control is sinful. Ha ha. And everybody laughs. And that troubles me. Because why would we have such a negative view of children? The comments that we sometimes make to the parents who have the children, the comments sometimes that are made by the parents to the children themselves, such as if we didn't have to pay for your clothes, we could afford a vacation or two, or if your medical bills weren't so high, we'd have a nicer car. I think about the unkind action of parents to children. You know, on more than one occasion, we've been out at a soccer game, baseball game or whatever. And here would be I'd be walking with one of my daughters and in front of us would be a mother that would just slap her kid across the face or cuss out her kid. And my daughters would look at me and just say, Daddy, what? Why do they do that? And of course, it really is kind of a good thing because I have a chance to explain to them, honey, they don't know Jesus. And because they don't know Jesus, they don't know how to love their children. And yet we see this all the time, many people seeing children as a burden, but that's not God's picture. You say, what is God's picture? Let's go back to Genesis 1 and find out, please. And let's find out that children are not a burden, but God blesses us with children. Children to be a blessing. Let's go back to Genesis 1, please, and look at verse 28. In Genesis 1, verse 28, before there was sin, no sin in the world at all, The Bible says, and God blessed them, and God said to them, be fruitful and multiply. Here's Adam and Eve in the garden, the first man, the first woman. And what was God's will for Adam and Eve? That they be fruitful and that they multiply. And thus, it's no surprise at all. Turn over to Genesis chapter four and verse one. It's no surprise at all that this first man and this first woman recognized that their child was a gift from God. Because Genesis 4.1 says, Now the man had relations with his wife Eve, and she conceived and gave birth to Cain. And she said, I have gotten a man child with the help of the Lord. Eve didn't say, Hey, Adam, look what we did. I mean, this is what we know. Eve and Adam both realized that their child was a gift from God. And thus we read throughout the Old Testament that God blesses women by opening their womb. And God sometimes removes His blessing by closing their womb. And it doesn't surprise us at all when we get to Psalm 127 and we see God's view of children. Let's go there, please. Psalm 127. We'll be looking at a number of passages this evening. Not spending a lot of time in any one, but hopefully answering our question. Are children a burden or a blessing? Psalm 127. And I think you can follow with me. I'm reading from a New American Standard. Some of you may have a King James. It'll be a little bit different. But in Psalm 127, verse 3, what does God say about children? Behold, children are a gift of the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. God tells us in verse 3 that children are a heritage or a gift. God has given me my children as a heritage. It's a word that has the idea of inheritance. Something wonderful that you pass to the next generation. I don't know. This isn't true in my house, but maybe some of you have come from families where there was really expensive china or really expensive vases or something like that. And as maybe your great grandparents passed away, they took that coveted vase that was incredibly nice. And they gave it to you as an inheritance. God says children are an inheritance. And we pass them from our generation to the next. And that's how we should view our children. I couldn't help but think what Joel Weaver's father was thinking of this morning as he preached. Missionary Joel Weaver was here this morning, and he was preaching, and his dad was here. And if some of you know, because you were here, if I understand right, it was his father who started missionary work in Africa. And here was his dad sitting in the pews, watching his son preaching a message on the importance of mission work in Africa. Wouldn't it have been a neat thing? Maybe I should have done this to go up to him. And I did introduce myself and say hi to him, but to have said to him, hey, dad, how does it feel? How does it feel to see your boy preaching the faith that you preached, living for the Savior that you've lived for, seeing what you consider to be the most important thing in life, living for Christ, and now you had a child and he's doing the same thing? I can't speak of that. I haven't experienced that. I hope to. I pray that it will happen in my life. I hope one day that I will have the privilege of seeing that. His dad saw that. That's what this verse is talking about. Children are a heritage of the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. God gives children as a reward, as a gift. My wife has said this to my daughters on many occasions, and she'll say something like this to them. She'll look at our oldest daughter, Angela Joy, and she'll say, you know what, honey, I'm so glad Jesus gave me an Angela Joy. And she's said it so much, now I say it. and I'll take my daughters aside one at a time, and I'll say, I love you so much. Now I just say this, do you know why I love you? And they just roll their eyes and say, because Jesus gave us to you. Okay. But that's alright. Because I want them to know I see them as a gift from God. Children are a heritage or a gift from the Lord. Children are a reward from God. But let's go to verse 4, and it gets even better. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They shall not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate." You say, what's going on there? Okay, let's look at verse 4. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. I've read a lot about World War II growing up, and I remember reading accounts of say the Battle of the Bulge, where the American troops were cut off from their supply lines as the Germans made a big, just a big bulge in the line, I believe it was somewhere in Belgium, and how the Americans were cut off supplies, and how they would fix their bayonets, and guys would be on the front line with two and three bullets each, and that's all. And just praying that somehow planes could come by and airdrop supplies to them. Why? Because they didn't have enough bullets. But you know, once those supply planes would come by and drop their supplies and they would be able to replenish their ammunition, why, they'd be sitting in their foxhole with a bunch of ammunition and they'd have a sense of confidence. They'd have a sense of blessing. You would never look at the guy in the foxhole next to you and say, wow, buddy, you got a lot of ammo. Why didn't you stop? But you would say, what a blessing. that I have been blessed with this ammunition." That is precisely the figure that Scripture uses of children. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. How blessed, verse 5, is the man whose quiver is full of them. How blessed. Now again, people will say, what does that mean? It means how blessed is the man whose quiver is full. You say, how many does it take to fill a quiver? I don't know. You know, the best thing I've ever heard is different people maybe have different sized quivers. How about that? But if your quiver is full, it's a blessing. You say, why? Because look at verse 5, please. They shall not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate. You say, I don't follow it. Okay. The gate was the place of business. The gate is the place where people took you to court. You say, what's the picture here? The picture is of a man who's a little bit older now. And there are guys that are trying to take advantage of him, and there are people that are maybe trying to do something unlawful against him, maybe trying to take his land, maybe trying to take his belongings. But you know what the Bible says? That that kind of man is not going to be ashamed when he's at the gate with his enemies. You know why? Because his boys are there. That's what's going on in this verse. If I could put it in more of a modern type, it's the picture of a man who has sons, faithful sons, God-fearing sons, and somebody comes up to that man and tries to maybe rob that man or hurt that man, but before they can, his boys step up and basically say, you mess with my father, you're messing with me. And we see the great picture of children being a source of security even in our old age. And as we would start to get older and our health would fail and we can't do the things we normally could do, what a blessing to have God-fearing children who are there to help. This is the picture of children. Are they a burden or are they a blessing? Clearly, the Bible teaches that children are a blessing, not a burden. Let me make a couple of applications before we move on. First of all, I'll make just three simple points. Number one, very basic. Children should be desired. Children should be desired. It is a normal thing to desire children. Now, please, I realize that everybody's not blessed with children. And in an audience like this, we may have people that would love to have children, and God has not blessed that person with children. It's such an important thing. Why don't we go ahead and turn to Psalm 113 and verse 9, because there's a verse of encouragement for those couples. Psalm 113 and verse 9, God in His sovereign goodness sometimes does not permit a couple to have children. You say, Greg, what do you do as you talk with them? I go to Psalm 113. And what does it say? It says, He that is God makes the barren woman abide in the house as a joyful mother of children. Praise the Lord. God is able to meet the need of any individual. And when a person knows God and fellowships closely with God, that fellowship with God can bring a joy that is as great or even greater than having children. And yet, I still go back to my point, children should be desired. You know, in the New Testament, every time you read a passage about pastors, it always assumes the pastor is a man who is married. And it always assumes that the pastor is a man who has children. I did not say the pastor has to be married and have children. I didn't say that. But the assumption of Scripture is always that the man of God is a married man with children, at least as this, at least as the New Testament. It doesn't mean, again, he has to be married. We know that there was a time in Paul's life, at least, where he wasn't married, when he wrote 1 Corinthians. But it is assumed that we would all desire the blessing of children. I sometimes do premarital counseling. I don't do a lot of it, but I have the privilege of doing a couple here from our church that are getting married this Monday. And one of the things I ask, Crystal and Tim, I ask every couple, is, how many children are you planning on having? I never ask, are you planning on having children? I ask, how many children are you planning on having? And we talk about that. And if they were to say to me, you know, Brother Greg or Mr. Mazak, whatever, we're not planning to have children, I would of course ask why. And maybe they would say because we want to be missionaries to a really incredibly tough place where we just couldn't. Okay, fine. But if it's just we just don't want to have children, I would immediately open up Scriptures and say, that is unbiblical. That is not pleasing to God. God would have it that couples get married and bear children. Children should be desired. You know, the world culture has influenced the church so much. We have this, I don't know if this word is even used anymore, but at least they used to use this word called being a yuppie, where what's the goal? The goal is to get married, have the really nice car, have the big house with the pool, have your own career, and then once you have your career and you're satisfied, then maybe have your two children and that's fine. I'm not saying it's wrong to have two children. I'm not saying it's wrong to have one child. But we have this idea that somehow, well, I'll just have this few children, and that's not the idea of Scripture. Children are a blessing. They should first of all be desired. Secondly, they should be grounds for thanksgiving. You know, sometimes we hear people complain about children, and I guess in the heat of the moment, that's easy for all of us to do, especially when they're young. But we should be thanking God for giving us living assets. if you will. And thirdly, children should be a priority. You know, I try to talk to people older than me to learn what I can. I sometimes talk to them about how they let their daughters date because I'm trying to learn things. I sometimes talk to guys about how they did Bible devotions in their home because I'm not from a Christian home and I'm trying to learn things. And I sometimes hear older men say things to me, and I don't think I have enough hands, enough fingers rather, to count how many times I've had an older time with your kids. Maybe you can prove me wrong, but I've never once in my life had a guy come up to me and say, Greg, if I could do it again, I would spend less time with my kids. I would to God I would have spent less time with my kids. I should have worked more. I should have hunted more. I should have fished more. Man, I threw my life away. I poured my life into my kids. I have had grown men with tears in their eyes. Say to me, Greg, spend time with your kids. When I was your age, I didn't. I was wrong. Learn from my mistake. And I thank the Lord that those men come to me and share that, because by God's grace, I won't make the same mistake. Children should be a priority. Now, people say, come on, you're giving the positive. And I've had this raised to me as I've talked about this issue. Greg, the world is so evil. How can you bring kids into this evil world? Everybody's different, I guess. When I think about how evil the world is, it makes me want to have more kids. I think that's another missionary. That's another pastor. That's another Christian that's going to go out and lead someone to Jesus Christ. What if God the Father looked down at the world and said, what an evil world? How could I send my only son to earth to die on a cross? I mean, I know that's not the same thing, but think about that. The Bible says, and our brother preached it this morning, how shall they hear without a preacher? Romans chapter 10. As I think about how evil the world is, I'd say, why don't we Christians have more kids? And then we have more people to spread the gospel. Others say, well, Greg, it just costs too much money. My wife and I were smiling about this the other day. We used to go to a church. a number of years ago, where the pastor used to say, if you have one child, it takes it all. And if you have 12 children, it takes it all. No matter how many you have, it takes it all. I can't really vouch for that being true, but I know for us, it just about takes it all. And that's fine. Children, yes, cost. But God says He'll supply all of our needs, Philippians 4.19, including for our children. And some people say, well, I couldn't do all the things I really want to do in life. Well, I suppose that's so. But Proverbs 29.17 says, Correct your son, he will give you comfort. He will also delight your soul. And as I'm raising children for Christ, I would find delight in those children. I think maybe sometimes we have selfish values and we want so many material things and thus we limit our joy, maybe even by limiting our children. I don't remember who asked it. It might have been our pastor here, Pastor Custer. It might have been somebody else. But I still remember somebody once standing up at a pulpit and asking the question, what can you take to heaven with you? What can you take to heaven with you? And of course he was trying to get us to think, not our houses, not our cars, not our bank accounts, but there is one thing we can take to heaven with us, and that's our children. Are children a blessing or a burden? The biblical picture is clear. Children are a blessing. We need to let our children know that they are a blessing. We have a fairly good emphasis, I think, here with our children. We're starting a vacation Bible school. We have a fair amount of money set aside in the budget for one week of vacation Bible school. You say, is it worth it? It's worth it. There are children. You say, well, you have Bible clubs and Sunday school and all this time and effort you put into the children. Are the children worth it? And the answer is yes, they're worth it. We need to see them as worth it because God says our children are a blessing. Question number one. Are children a burden or a blessing? And biblically the answer is, our children are a blessing. Question number two, and the only other question we'll ask this evening. These little, tiny, wonderful blessings, are they bound for heaven? Or are they bound for hell? And that's the question that we'll address now. I wrote up two little case studies, if you will. Two little paragraphs about two different situations parents might encounter with children. And these are fictitious. Please don't think I have someone in mind because I don't. And in fact, if I use any illustrations this evening, it'll always be of somebody fictitious. Even when I teach a school, I tell my students this, and so I'll mention this this evening. If I use an example, if I say, you know, there was a guy from Utah I once knew, and he was a counseling major over at BJ, I'm normally thinking of a girl who was maybe a nursing major from Spain. And so I tend to change things quite a bit, okay? So please, if you think, ooh, I know who that is, no. Now you might say, okay, well, what if I reverse everything and figure, no. No, you can't. You can't do that. That's too hard. Okay? I want you to picture a four-year-old girl. who refuses to sit still in church. She insists on talking out loud and hitting those near her, picking up books from the hymn rack and throwing them. Whenever her parents take her out to discipline her, she throws herself on the floor and begins a temper tantrum. Secondly, I'd like you to think of a college senior in a Christian home who has grown his hair long, gotten a tattoo, wearing an earring, all contrary to his parents' wishes. He consistently comes in after curfew, refuses to get out of bed to go to church on Sunday. When you try to talk to him, he simply says, I'm 20 years old. Don't treat me like a kid. If you try to make me live by these rules, then I'll leave. Here's a four year old who tells basically her parents, I'm not going to sit in a service and you can't make me. Here's a 20 year old who basically says to his parents, I'm not coming in when you tell me to and you can't make me. Question, what would the parents do in these two situations? Answer, it depends on your view of children. How do you view children? And there's basically only three options. Option number one, many people believe that children are good or innocent. And we take a look at these little bundles that moms bring in all wrapped up in receiving blankets and we say, how angelic. What a cute little baby. And people do baby talk, and I won't do that, but you understand what I'm saying. Oh, what a little chariot, maybe you might say. And you know what the problem is? We're confusing naivety with innocence. Is the child naive? Yes. But is it really innocent? Many would have us think so. In fact, that's what humanistic psychologists believe. They'll teach you that children are basically plants. And all they need to do is just have a little bit of water and a little bit of food and the right amount of life and they'll grow. That's all. For example, I have some flowers out on our front steps now. They're pansies. They've been out all winter and they've bloomed really nice this year. And now with these last couple of days of heat, I think they've seen their days. Now, what did I do? Did I walk up to the pansies yesterday when I was out in the yard a little bit and say, Bad pansies. Wicked, sinful, depraved pansies. I didn't do that. Why did my pansies die? You say because of the heat, not enough water. It doesn't mean they were bad pansies. They're good pansies. They just happened to not flower. That's what many people believe about children. And you say, the children went bad, the child went bad. Yeah, but he's basically a good kid. If I had a dollar for every time a parent of a teenager has said to me, Greg, don't misunderstand, he's really a good kid, I'd be doing very well financially. Greg, he's a good kid. He really is a good kid. I visited teens down in Greenville Detention Center. I visit unwed mothers with their children. But Greg, she's a good girl. Many people believe that. Our criminal justice system believes it, right? You commit a crime, you go to jail. What's the whole goal? To rehabilitate. You think about that word, rehabilitation. What does that mean? You were really good, but you got in a little bit of trouble. We're going to get you back to being good. Rehabilitation. So let's send him out so that he can learn a job or something. And this is what many people believe. And this is basically the theme, if you will, of our 60s generation. That everyone is good. And if it feels good, do it. And let everybody just be free. Let's just all do our own thing. You know, I think of, I was unsaved at the time, not in the 60s, I was too young then, but in the 70s. I've listened to rock music all my life and so many songs in my mind that are there forever, I guess. And I think about Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, one of the great groups to our young people today, our young people in their teens listening to the music of guys in their fifties, which is interesting. And one of their songs, it has a line in it that says, if you believe in justice, if you believe in freedom, let a man live his own life, rules and regulations, who needs them? Let's just all be free to do our own thing. And it's those kids of the 60's that are the parents of today. And how does that translate into raising children? I want my child to be an individual. That's right. I want my child to be an individual. I want my child to think for himself. To be an original thinker. And I immediately said to him, please don't insult me like that. If I am an original thinker, then I need to ask God's forgiveness. My goal in this life is to have my mind renewed so that I think like Jesus Christ would think. I am to conform my life to this book. See, we're not in this life to be our own persons, to be our own selves, but that's what many people think. Don't teach a child that he has to act a certain way, dress a certain way, you might hurt him. Don't teach him that he has to go to church. Don't teach him that he has to go to youth group, take piano lessons. Be in the house by a certain time. Attend family devotions. Get a haircut. Take out his earring. Hey, loosen up. Let him alone. He'll just be fine. That's what many people believe, is they believe the children are basically good. Let's go back to our two fictitious people. I'll start with the four-year-old daughter. Mom, why won't your four-year-old daughter sit still during church? Now, don't get me wrong, I know a four-year-old is going to be a little bit up and around, that's fine. But Mom, why won't your four-year-old sit still? Here's the response of somebody who believes in the goodness of their child. Well, Greg, that's just her personality. And you see, she's kind of tired, you know. God makes some children more obedient than others, I suppose. And you just need to understand, she's not really being bad. She's just being herself. And that's the kind of thing I hear Christian mothers say. You say, Greg, don't you think it's true that when you're tired, that maybe you are more likely to be bad? Well, let me ask you a question. How come it's not true when you're tired you're more likely to be good? Mom, what's the kid doing? Oh, she's sharing again. She must be tired. Yeah? No, you know what it is? It's the fatigue allows the real person to come out. Let's go to the college senior who's rebellious. And you say, well, what's wrong with your son? He doesn't come to church anymore. He looks like a worldly person. What's going wrong, mom or dad? Well, it's normal for a child to be rebellious. Every kid needs to sow as well, don't you know? It's all part of finding out who you really are, of getting in touch with yourself. Yes, he may stray a little bit, but he's basically a good kid. He'll be alright. And that is contrary to Scripture. And yet there are people who believe, number one, that children are good. There's a second option, number two. Some people believe that children are born neutral. They are a blank slate. There's a word for this. It's called tabula rasa. It's a word of philosophy and psychology and behaviorism. Children are like dogs. Are dogs good or bad? Are dogs good or bad? And the answer is what? If he does good things, he's a good dog. If he does bad things, he's a bad dog. So if the dog bites the owner, and messes up the house, he's a bad dog. If the dog bites the robber and protects the master, he's a good dog. Children are basically like dogs. They will do whatever they're taught to do. B.F. Skinner wrote a book on this called Walden 2, which is pretty much mandatory reading on all college campuses in the 1960s, about how you could set up a utopian society, and if he could control the environment, He could control the children. They're just like dogs, they do whatever they're taught. This is popularly politically. In Greenville here, I don't think we have a good example of this that I know of. I know in Cleveland, I think in Atlanta, there's an example that I'll use here. I didn't grow up in Cleveland, but I grew up in the suburbs. And in Cleveland, they had a set of housing that were called the projects. The projects, I don't know if that would mean anything to you. You say, what are the projects? Well, politicians decided that the reason we have people on drugs, the reason we have prostitutes, the reason we have gangs is because people have bad environments. So they would go in and they would bulldoze literally blocks of substandard housing and they would build apartment buildings that were really nice and all connected together and they were called projects. And thus now when you walk into the projects, what do you find? Do you find wonderful places where former gang members and prostitutes say, Oh, welcome to our community. What a blessing. Last time I was up in Cleveland, it was in the newspaper. I guess it was a city council passed a law. They would no longer require a Cleveland police officer to go into the projects unescorted. Too many were getting shot in the back. and there was a controversy because they would have a call and they would radio and they would send an officer in and the officer would refuse to go in and the higher ups would discipline him for not going in and finally they said no, we cannot in good conscience send a police officer without someone looking at his back. One police officer in the project is not a good risk. If somebody is in there dying, we'll just let them die. Until we can get two police officers in the project, then we'll go in. You say, what's my point? It didn't work. But it's a very popular idea. Now listen to this. I think this is very popular in Christian circles. You have a good kid. Must have been from a good home. Yep, probably the good home made the good kid. You have a bad kid? I bet you the parents were hypocrites. I bet you the parents probably went home and fought, drank, used drugs, listened to rock music, and then came to church and only pretended to be godly. You say, what is that called? That's called the behavioristic view. That is not a biblical view. Don't get me wrong, parents have a great deal of input in the child's life, and we'll be talking about that more, Lord willing, starting next week. But you can't say that a household, that an environment will determine the child. Influence, yes. Determine, no. Many people believe that children are neutral. Let's go back to my two case studies. The four-year-old who won't sit still, and she's sitting in front of you. What do you think? Well, she's never been taught to sit still. If her parents would beat her every time she hecked it up in church, she'd be just fine. I've trained dogs in my life, buddy, I know. It works with dogs and it works with kids. Okay? How about the college-age senior? Well, I knew this might happen when he started hanging around with those boys from across the track. He's really not a bad kid. He just tends to be a follower more than a leader. If we can just wait until things settle down and find some new friends for him, everything will be okay. And I've heard that all the time. He's maybe a neutral kid, but he's with the wrong crowd. And then I say, why did he pick the wrong crowd? Well, the answer rhetorically is because he's a bad kid. You see, the Bible doesn't teach that people are good. The Bible doesn't teach that people are neutral. You say, Greg, you've been talking a lot here and we haven't been in the scriptures yet. I know. But I simply want to make the point to you. that in our Christian circles, even though they wouldn't say it by the way we act, sometimes we have people that actually believe their children are good or neutral. And the Bible teaches neither of these. The Bible teaches that children are inherently evil. Let's begin in Romans 3, please. Turn to Romans 3. We'll look at a number of passages, make a few comments. Romans 3. How does God see mankind? Romans chapter 3, beginning with the second part of verse 9, both Jews and Greeks are all under sin, as it is written. There is none righteous, not even one. There is none who understands. There is none who seeks for God. All have turned aside. Together they've become useless. There is none who does good. There is not even one. Their throat is an open grave, with their tongues they keep deceiving. The poison of asps is under their lips, whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness. Their feet are swift to shed blood. Destruction and misery are in their paths. The path of peace have they not known. There is no fear of God before their eyes." That is God's view of people, and that includes God's view of children. Now you say, how do you know that applies to children? Is it possible that maybe once we hit an age of accountability that all of a sudden we become sinful? But until then we're pure and wonderful. No, that's wrong on two points. Number one, there's never taught in the Bible an age of accountability. Now we tend to reason out that maybe there is, and I'm not saying there's not, I'm simply saying that's not something clearly taught in Scripture, but there is something that is clearly taught in Scripture, and that's Psalm 58, verse 3. So let's go and take a look. When is it that people become wicked? Is it when they're toddlers in their terrible twos, or maybe in elementary school where they meet other bad kids, and those other bad kids corrupt our nice kids? Is that possible? No, because look at Psalm 58, verse 3. The wicked are estranged from the womb. Those who speak lies go astray from birth. When does a person become sinful? It's at least from the point of birth. You say, wait a second, so maybe what happens is that the moment a person is birthed, they become sinful. No, it even goes back farther than that. Turn back just a few pages to Psalm 51 and look at verse 5 for me, please. Psalm 51 in verse 5. Psalm 51 in verse 5, David says, Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me. You say, what does that mean? at the precise moment of conception, at the moment you became... I don't know if you know this or not, but before there was a you, the first thing you ever... I don't know how else to say this. The first thing you ever were was a zygote. Okay? That's the first thing you were. It's a zygote. Before you were a zygote, you weren't. You say, what was I? The moment you became a zygote, you were sinful. At the moment of conception, At that very moment when I was in my mother's fallopian tube, when I was conceived, when I was a zygote, I was sinful. And you are sinful. Children are conceived sinful. From the very moment the conception takes place, they are sinful. And that sinfulness comes to every part of their being. And thus, theologically, we have a phrase. It's called total depravity. Total depravity. What does total depravity mean? It means that in total, every single part of a person is sinful. There's not a part of you that is not sinful. There's not a part of me that is not sinful. And we walk back to our nursery down there and we look at all those cute little kids. and every one of them is completely and totally sinful. In fact, turn over to Proverbs 22, please. Proverbs 22. And we'll see even more about the sinfulness. Proverbs 22. We come to a verse like verse 15, and we should be not surprised at all that foolishness, Proverbs 22.15, is bound up in the heart of a child. Where is it? In the heart of a child. What is the greatest problem that faces your child? What is the greatest problem that faces my child? The greatest problem is that foolishness is bound up in their hearts. It's not that they've hung out with the wrong kids. It's not that their teachers don't treat them right. It's not that somebody said something mean to them. It's that foolishness is in their hearts. And I talked to parents who say, if I could just get a different teacher, if we could just get a better youth pastor, if we could just not have the kid next door, my kid wouldn't have problems. Some people who have means even go out and buy farms. And they homeschool their kids on farms. Which would work perfectly if foolishness was not bound up in the heart of a child. But you can't get your child away from his greatest enemy. For his greatest enemy is within. It is the sin that is rampant in the child's heart. That's the problem. And thus the reason you and I even today struggle so much is because the sinfulness of our hearts. Turn with me to James chapter one, please. James chapter one. And I know we're turning a lot, but please turn to James chapter one. Because of what I teach, I have people come to me with problems frequently. And I have people say to me, you know, Greg, I'm having problems. And you know, the problem is I was raised in an abusive home. And because I was abused as a child, I have all these problems. I hear this stuff all the time. I was raised in a home where my dad left when I was five. And don't get me wrong, that would be terrible. I was raised in a home where mom died when I was young. I was raised in a home where my brother slapped me around. I have a roommate who doesn't love me, who takes my money. And it goes on and on and on. And that's why I have problems. But that's not why you have problems. That's not why I have problems. Do you want to know why we have problems and why our children have problems? James tells us in James chapter 1 in verse 14. Each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. tempted and carried away and enticed." You say, what do you mean? Both of those words, especially for the guys, are words that come out of the domain of fishing and hunting. What do you do when you go fishing? You put a juicy worm on a hook. Why? Because you want to carry away the fish. You want that bass to see that big old fat worm squiggling out there and go, huh, I'm going to go check it out. And then once he gets close and he starts getting real close, he says, hey, I'm going to swallow it. And you've hooked your bass. Why is it that I have problems? Why is it that you have problems? Why is it that our children have problems? Because of the lust of their heart. Because of the lust of their heart. I'll give you a concrete example. Two weeks ago, we had a worker at the university talk to my wife about my youngest daughter having a problem with another girl in the nursery. And this other girl has been hitting my daughter and has been acting very unkind to my youngest daughter. And it's been going on for some time. So this girl was doing this and my daughter did something in response that was unkind. You say, what did you do? As soon as I found out about it? And by the way, you say, how did you deal with that? I've been working for the last couple of weeks with my youngest daughter on a very simple principle out of Romans chapter 12, overcome evil with good. That's what makes Jesus happy. Overcome evil with good. Once I found out about it, I said to my wife, I said, let's go. Let's go have her talk to the lady involved. Let's have our youngest daughter ask forgiveness and let's go talk and make sure everything's fine. And my wife's response was, that's fine. If you think that's what we should do, let's do that. But are you sure that's the right thing to do? Because really, it wasn't our daughter that's the problem. I said, I know that. But my daughter responded to sin in a way that was equally sinful. We need to have her ask forgiveness. You see, my daughter's problem was not that somebody was picking on her. Because if my daughter was living for Christ the way she should, she would have overcome evil with good. And she would have said to that girl who called her a mean name, she would have said, what you said made Jesus sad. I'm going to say a prayer for you. That's what she should have said. But she didn't say that. You know why? Because she has a wicked heart. And so what did we do? We took our daughter back to the woman who's in charge of this area and we had her say, I'm sorry, I did wrong. Would you forgive me? Why? Because of the sinfulness of her heart. That is the problem that my daughters have. That is the problem that your children have. Let's go back to our two fictitious examples. Why is it that we have four year olds who won't sit still in church? Now, again, there's room for wiggling. OK, I think we all know that. You want to know why we have four year olds who won't sit still in church? Because no one's going to tell me that I have to sit still. You can't tell me and God can't tell me and I don't care if you're my mother or not. I don't like sitting in this church and I'm not going to take it. And if you try to discipline me, I'll throw myself on the floor because I will be my own God. So there. And then we have parents who say. Greg, could you start a children's church ministry because our four year old just isn't able to sit in church? And I pray to myself, God, please help those parents. Please help those parents realize that the problem is right here. It's a sinful heart that refuses to submit to God. It is called sin and it is deep and it is in their kids. Let's go back to the college senior who refuses to have a curfew or abide by the house rules. You know what the problem is? It's the same thing. It's a grown-up temper tantrum. No one's going to tell me that I can't wear a tattoo or have an earring or that I have to come in at curfew. I'm 20 years old, Dad. You're not going to tell me." And just go on and whatever is appropriate there. And that's the boy who says, I reject your authority, Dad. I reject your authority, Mom. And you know what's really sad? I reject your authority, God. Because our memory verse says, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. You say, why did you pick that verse for this week? Because every time a child disobeys you, he or she is shaking his or her fist in the face of God. It is a sin against God. I had a very lengthy discussion with one of my daughters this week, and I don't want to be specific to embarrass anyone, but basically, I explained to her there was a certain expectation I had for her. And she said, Daddy, the other kids don't have to do that. I said, I know that. She says, Daddy, the Bible doesn't mean you have to do that. I said, I know that, honey, but the Bible says children obey your parents and the Lord for this is right. You have to do that. And she said to me, Daddy, it's so hard. She said, Daddy, we all want to do what we want to do. And I said, honey, that's my problem. And that's your problem. But if you love Jesus, you will do what Daddy asks you to do." And she said, I love Jesus, Daddy. So that's what I'll do. And it was a wonderful time where we hugged and prayed together. But see, still that problem is there. And I'm dealing with it. And I'm well acquainted with it. Because I know at first hand, it's the same problem that I have and you have. And thus we turn back to Proverbs 28. Proverbs 28 and 26. And I use all these different verses, lest you think I'm overemphasizing my point. Proverbs 28 and 26. He who trusts in his own heart is a fool. And I am trying to raise my daughters I have a lot to learn. I'm not saying I'm the authority, but I am trying to raise my daughters to not trust their own heart, but to look to Jesus Christ. You see, we have a problem, people. And our problem is that our children are not bound for heaven. Our children are bound for hell. Our children want to go to hell. Every single part of their being is sinful. And yet, as parents, God calls us to intervene. So what do we do? Well, that's what we'll talk about the next three weeks. But I'd like to just mention, obviously, the most important thing. And it's our primary goal. Our primary goal must be to see our children come to Christ. To come to Christ. to come to Christ and get a clean heart, a new heart. When a person comes to Christ, God changes the heart. Now, we still have the flesh, so it's still a battle, but we must realize that our goal is not to raise good kids, it's to raise Christian kids. I've been doing this youth pastor thing long enough. I've seen some good kids come through our youth group. They never sassed me back. They never were mean to me. They always sat respectfully and they didn't know Christ. And as they got out and went on in life, it was evident they didn't know Christ. They were good kids, but they were lost kids. Our goal is not to raise good kids. Our goal is not to raise smart kids. I think about the emphasis we put on report cards. We had report cards in our home recently. And we have report cards and some kids get A's. And what do we say? Wonderful. And then some kids have C's. And what do we say? Terrible. You know, I look at my kids and I say, did you guys study and do your best? Yes. Then I'm proud of you. And I don't care if you got A's or F's. What I care about is when I talk to your teacher at conference time, are you being obedient as part of your love for Jesus Christ? That's what I want to know. And if there are Christian examples in the classrooms and they get C's, I don't care. And yet we have parents that would emphasize maybe music. And I want my kids to be musical. And they're more faithful in their music lessons than church attendance. Something is wrong. And whether it's academics or music, or if you're from my background, it would be sports. Where there's always time for another soccer team. Always time to get your son to soccer. Maybe not enough time to bring him to prayer meeting, but always enough time to bring him to soccer. And we're going for the wrong goal. Our goal must be to see our children converted. You see, that heart that the child has is the same heart that everyone in this room has. Every single person in this room deserves to go to hell. From the youngest person in this room to the oldest person in this room, and I don't say this to be unkind, you deserve to go to hell. From the moment you were conceived, you deserve to go to hell. And the only chance we have is if we will accept the Lord Jesus Christ as our Savior. Jesus said to Nicodemus, unless a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. We must pray, we must long, we must teach for our kids to come to Christ. You say, how can you get them to come to Christ? You can't make it happen. But it's a natural thing to happen. I've heard pastors say something to the effect, it's the most natural thing in the world for a child who was raised in a Christian home to come to Christ. You say, how do you do it? It just happens. I close with three brief illustrations because I have three daughters. With my oldest daughter, one day I was putting her to bed and she looked at me and she said, Daddy, am I saved or am I not? But see, she's been coming to church and she's been coming to Sunday school and she knows that word. Daddy, am I saved or am I not? I got so excited. I said, honey, I don't think you're saved if you've never asked Christ to save you. Would you like to be saved right now? And she said, will you read me a book, daddy? And I went, oh, oh, I was so sad. But I didn't push it. She wasn't ready. It was about a day or two later. My wife had made dinner. And my oldest said to my wife, before we asked the blessing, would you mind if I asked Jesus to come into my heart and wash my sins away? I said, she'd been coming to church. She's been hearing this in Bible time. She knew that. She prayed and asked Jesus to save her. My second daughter, I'm riding in my truck on a Saturday. She says, you know what, Daddy? I think maybe I need to get saved. I'm so excited. I pulled off the road. Let's pray. She says, well, we'll just do it tonight when we go to bed. And I went on. I'm going to miss it again. And then I didn't push it. I didn't push it. And I prayed, Lord, if this is for real and you're working in her heart, let her bring it up tonight. Of course, I prayed that day. And that evening I was putting my second daughter to bed and she said, hey, Daddy, remember what I said in the truck? And I said, what, baby? She said, I said, I want to pray to get saved. Remember, can we do it now? And she professed Christ as her Savior. One day around the kitchen table, we're all sitting around talking about how we're saved, the natural thing in a Christian home. And my youngest daughter said, I'm saved, right, Daddy? I got saved when I'm a baby." And I said, honey, nobody can be saved when they're a baby because the Bible says you have to confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead. So I know you weren't saved when you were a baby, honey. She said, then Daddy, am I not saved? And I said, well, if you've never asked Jesus to save you, I guess you're not, but you could now. Would you like to? And she said, well, yes, Daddy, of course I would. And all three made professions of faith. And I'll be honest with you, can I tell you with 100% confidence that all three are saved? And I think you know the answer is obvious. It's possible. There's the beginning of a faith there that I intend by God's grace to nurture, to encourage. I trust that it's saving faith. You know that many kids get to high school and say, I realize now I never was saved in the past. And thus, as junior highers or high schoolers, they say, I'll get saved now. I've seen that in our own youth group. And that's fine. But we have a start. We have a start that is necessary. A change of heart that only conversion can bring. Because our children may be a blessing, but they're not headed for heaven, people. They're headed straight for hell. And God calls upon us as parents to intervene. and to see if by His grace we can save them from hell. Not that we can save them, but we can see Christ save them from hell and take them to heaven with us.