Thank you so much. Many years ago, I was in one of my favorite places in the world, Sedona, Arizona. And I'm sure many of you have been there. It's a beautiful place in our country. And I was with a group of people and our family and friends, and they think I'm a little strange. I like art and I like poetry. And I found an art studio kind of to the side, if you've ever been there. It's closer to the end of town. The rest of the group, they were looking at T-shirts and that kind of thing. So I walked in that art studio by myself. When I got in that studio, I know a little bit about paintings and a little bit about artists, but I don't know much about pottery. But one wall in the back was full of pottery. And I kind of gravitated to that wall. And I was looking at the pottery. And there was one lady working, and there wasn't a place to check out, but there was kind of a desk, and she was behind that desk. And she seen me in there, it was just me and her and a couple other people that was looking at some paintings. And as I was looking at that pottery, there was one piece of pottery that kept drawing my eye. It was almost, brother Matt, as if it was drawing my attention. I gravitate that one piece of pottery. And I guess the lady kind of noticed what I was doing. She came over and she said, do you like this pottery? I said, I do. I said, man, I really don't know much about pottery. And I know a little bit about your paintings, but not pottery. She asked me a question. She said, which one do you like the best? And I told her that one piece. It was kind of almost right in the middle of the wall with the other pieces of pottery. I said, well, I really like this one. And she said, well, what makes you like that one so much? And I said, I really can't tell you. I said, truth of the matter is, in my eyes, my amateur eyes, there's just something different about this one. She said, what do you think it is? And I said, well, I described some of the colors. I like the colors. And I said, but ma'am, there's some small pieces of pottery that really makes all, in my mind, that makes all the difference in this piece of pottery. And she said, do you know what those small pieces are? And I said, no, I really have no idea. Maybe it's paint or the way they paint it. And she said, no, it's not paint. And I said, ma'am, you gotta tell me. What are those pieces? What makes this beautiful? And she said, well, first of all, you got very good taste. And she told me what that one piece of pottery cost. And it was the most expensive piece on the wall. I said, ma'am, what makes it so valuable, this one pot? And she said, what you are staring at. When the potter made this and he formed this out of clay, There were some broken pieces, just minor pieces that had already been discarded. And he took those discarded pieces, those broken pieces, and he put it in this pot. She said, what makes it so valuable is the broken pieces in the pot. I was down at our friend Stephen Cox's church a few months ago. I told him that story. And I said, but Brother Stephen, what I don't understand is how. I know a little bit about how you make pottery and the wheel and the clay and your hands. Stephen, I don't know how you could get broken pieces in there without hurting your hands. He said, I don't either, but I know who does. And there was a lady in his church at Bible Baptist in Simpsonville and at the university, she took pottery as a major at the university. I didn't know that's possible. I didn't know that was a good thing. I said, well, I would love to talk to her. And he said, well, she'll be here tonight. And he said, tell her that story. And I did that evening. I met her and I told her, I said, man, what I don't understand is how can you get those broken pieces in the clay? And she said, well, now sometimes. When the potter begins to form that clay and he takes those broken pieces, sometimes the pieces, if they're big enough, they cut the hand of the potter. Sometimes there's even blood involved making the pot. She said most of the time, they're so small, they're so minute, that they're like sand in the pottery. And that's what makes the pot so valuable. Man, I have no idea why you're broken. Sir, I really, I can't tell your story, I can only tell mine. But I know this, what makes your story so valuable is the broken pieces in your life. Can I say tonight when God sees something broken, me and you as human beings, we see something that's just discarded over in the corner, God sees the value in your brokenness. Tonight, for just a moment, I want Adlai to sing. I talked to the pastor, and if it's okay, I want to testify tonight. I want to tell you more of my story. The brokenness, my heart that's shattered, it seems like beyond repair. When I see brokenness, when I see the tragedy, I don't see the value. But when God sees your brokenness, He sees the value. You're beautifully broken in the eyes of God. Adlai, you sing and then I'll testify. ♪ Beautifully broken Willingly wasted, lovingly lavish Here at your feet I am beautifully broken Willingly wasted, lovingly lavish Beautifully broken As Mary broke her alabaster box In the same I lay my heart at your feet ♪ Knowing all too well the great, great cause ♪ ♪ I'm following wherever you lead ♪ ♪ Cause I am beautifully broken ♪ ♪ Willingly wasted, lovingly lavish ♪ ♪ Here at your feet I am ♪ Beautifully broken Willingly wasted Lovingly lavish Lord, let me be broken Beautifully broken So recklessly I worship you, O Lord Fervently I cast off all restraints I'm glad to go wherever you are Glad to lay my life before you, glad to remain ♪ Cause I am beautifully broken ♪ ♪ Willingly wasted, lovingly lavish ♪ ♪ Here at your feet I am beautifully broken ♪ ♪ Willingly wasted, lovingly lavish ♪ ♪ Lord let me be broken If you have your Bibles, just for a few moments this evening, I want you to turn to Isaiah 53. Isaiah 53 in just a moment, I'll begin reading at the beginning of this particular chapter. I mentioned this morning, January 6th of 2022, they told my Rachel, she had a few weeks, a few months. At the most, she had a year to live. The reality of that, when we heard that statement, we went back to our house and certainly we spoke to Adlai, and we got in a circle in our living room and we just began to pray. And by faith, we believe God. We trusted God to heal Rachel. And with everything in me, I knew God would heal Rachel. As we began to pray, I had friends begin to call and text. And we received the news that she would have to go to Morgantown, West Virginia, at West Virginia University. This was on Thursday. By Monday, we was at the hospital. The doctor, Dr. McBee, he came in that Monday morning and he kind of looked with a puzzled look on his face. He asked some questions and finally he said, you need to be in the hospital. You should have already been in the hospital. Within two hours she was in a hospital room. They began to run tests immediately, and they thought, and God already started answering prayer. The last few days, in that time, there were literally thousands of people that began to pray around America and around the world, and God was answering prayer. Everything they would test in her body, they thought cancer was already there. It began with ovarian cancer. There were two tumors on her right ovary. and that they thought it had spread everywhere in her body, but it hadn't. Every test that they would run for the next few days, it came back negative, and we were just believing God and just trusting God. And by that Thursday, she would have her surgery. They took her down to surgery, and I went down with her. And when Dr. McBee, the surgeon, came in, I said, Doctor, if it's okay, I'd like to pray. before you take her back to surgery. And he said, that would be fine. And I remember when I prayed by faith, I believed with everything in me that God would heal my wife. That that particular surgery would be a nine to 10 hour surgery. They would literally cut her from the top to the bottom. They would do a full hysterectomy, exploratory surgery. We didn't know it at the time we understood that there was something major wrong, but there was a nine pound tumor. inside of her stomach. About 10 hours later, they came to me and they said, the surgery's over, the doctor will be with you soon. They directed me to a room, and I walked to that room alone, and I sat there waiting on Dr. McBean. I'll never forget, he walked in, he had his mask on, he took his mask off, he shook my hand, and he said, Dale, it was almost as if he was surprised, he said, everything went great. He said, we got, and that's when we discovered it was a nine pound tumor in her stomach. And he said, but we got all that out. And he said, we did the hysterectomy. And he said, undoubtedly she'll have to have chemotherapy. She'll have to have some kind of treatment. He said, but we won't worry about that until we get the results back and the pathology test back. And he said, but right now everything went well. She'll be back in the room in a few minutes. You go up to the room, you wait on her. She shouldn't be much longer and she'll be there. And I remember going to the room. I called Adley, they would only let me in the hospital at that time, and I called those that were there in the parking lot waiting, and I could see in that room, my father was my pastor, and I could see him, and I could see other friends and preachers, and they were in that parking lot, and they had been praying all those hours, and just believing God, and just trusting God. Finally, they wheeled her back in there. And you'd have to know, Brother Matt and his wife and some others knew, my Rachel, she was always smiling and she just went through a 10-hour surgery. I don't know if it was the medicine, if she was half-lit or if she was really happy, but she came in. They rolled her in and she was smiling. It was amazing. It may have just been wishful thinking. I don't think it was, but because of the cancer, she had lost so much weight, but it seemed like the color in her face was back, and it even seemed like her face had already filled out some, and we were just believing God and trusting God for a miracle. Every day, every day, she would do better. She'd get her strength back, and about three, four days later, she was up and she was walking, and then a few days after that, I mean, we were walking around the hallways of that particular floor in the hospital, and they told her, the more you can move, the more you can walk, the quicker you go home, and that's exactly what happened. About 13 days later, Dr. McBee came in the room, and he said, Rachel, I don't have your pathology results back yet. It's taken a while, There's no reason that you can't go home. And we were praising God and giving God glory for that. And she was doing so well. She was getting her weight back, her color came back. And so that day, that evening, we got to go back home and we were excited. We were calling people and telling everybody that she's heading home. And it was an amazing thing to see. Every day at the house, she kept doing better. Her strength come back. It was almost like we were watching our miracle happen. And we'd ask God, to give us our miracle. Two weeks after we got home finally, I was down in my shop and working on some things, my motorcycles, and I heard Rachel. I got a very simple name. It's only one syllable, but I don't know how she did it. She had three syllables in my name, and I was down my shot. I heard her holler my name, as only Rachel can holler my name, and I ran up the steps, and I said, what is it, baby? She said, you ain't gonna believe it. What is it, baby? She said, you ain't gonna believe it. I said, baby, if you don't tell me, I can't believe it. What is it? She said, Dr. McBee called. And that smile, Adlai knows what I'm talking about. She had the sneakiest grin. You know when she smiled that way, either somebody was in trouble or she's about to do something she wasn't supposed to do. And she had that smile on her face and I said, what is it? She said, he told me that this is the best news that I would receive all day. that they got the test results back, and it's just precancerous tumors, or precancerous cells, but he said, I'm not gonna accept that, I'm gonna send it off to three other major medical institutions, and they sent it back off to the Cleveland Clinic and two other places, and he said, as soon as I get the test results back, we're gonna see what we need to do, and we were just praising God, we were just rejoicing. 24 hours later, he called her back. The same news. He said, Rachel, I don't understand. Everyone that got the results, it's the same thing. It's just pre-cancerous, all these things. He said, I don't understand it. He said, I can't give you chemo. He said, there's no way you can have any kind of treatment. He said, we're just gonna watch and see what happens. We had got our miracle. We were rejoicing. We were praising God. And day after day, she kept getting better and better and better. It was amazing to watch God work. that may always go to Arizona in June to the Indian reservations. And we make a, we make a seven, it's almost a 7,000 mile round trip for the few weeks. And Rachel wanted to go on that trip. And I told her, I said, Rachel, maybe this year, maybe I'll just fly out. That's just such a long trip. She said, no, I believe God wants me to go to Arizona. And I said, well, maybe not this year. And she said, I really believe God wants me to go. So we called the hospitals and the doctors and said, we're getting ready to make a big trip and you think it'd be okay? And they said, we'll bring her back and we'll run the test and make sure everything's fine. That's what they did. We took her back to Morgantown, West Virginia. They run every test that they could possibly run. When they got the results back, there's no cancer, no sign of cancer. We were rejoicing, we were praising God. God had gave us our miracle. We went out west. Before we went out, I told Rachel this time that with our missionary friends, we always try to do something a few days after the camp and to fellowship with them and try to encourage them. But I told Rachel this year or that year, I said, Rachel, anything you wanna do after camp and that we'll take you anywhere you wanna go, whatever it might be. And you'd have to know Rachel. She said, well, I wanna go to Las Vegas. I'm thinking, Rachel, we're with the missionaries. They got 32 and a half kids. We may not be able to do that. And she looked at me, she said, Dale, you said anything. And I said, I know, I know. I called my missionary friend, Brian. And I said, Brian, I know we kind of said that we're gonna let Rachel pick this time. And I said, that was our first mistake, but anyhow. And she wants to go to Vegas. And that's what he did the same thing you did. He kind of laughed and he said, no Dale. He said, there's some family friendly things. And she didn't care about that. She just wanted to go shopping. Don't act like some of y'all ain't been to Vegas. I guarantee you have. And you know this, you go through the casinos, you go to the stores. So that's what we did. We had a wonderful time. And I remember we was going through one of the major casinos. And we was walking through there and we had our missionary friends and they had all their kids with them. And we was all in a group and we told everybody, Brian told everybody, just walk on through and we'll get to the shops. And that's what we were doing. I was kind of walking by myself. And I seen Adley over there with her friends. and I noticed Brian's up there, then his wife was up there in the front a little bit, but I didn't see Rachel, and I'm thinking, well, where's Rachel? And I looked behind me, and I didn't see Rachel, and it kind of scared me, and I said, Brian, my missionary friend, have you seen Rachel? He said, no, I thought she was with Luann, and I said, no, Luann's up there, and his wife, and Luann, have you seen, no, I haven't seen Rachel. And I turned around, about 20 yards behind me, there was Rachel, she had long legs, she's about 5'9", She had these wild pants on. That was her personality. I mean, pink and orange, just the brightest things you could ever see. And she had her legs propped up on a slot machine. I'm thinking, dear God, here we go. So I ran to that slot machine, and you'd have to know my dad. I mean, he's the definition of a pastor. Shoes shined, everything just right. So I run to Rachel and I said, what are you doing? She said, take my picture. I want you to send it to your dad. I said, are you crazy? I said, I'm not. She said, yeah, just send it to your dad. So I sent it to my mom. I didn't send it to my dad. And we had a wonderful time. We got home. A couple weeks later, she got sick. She couldn't eat. and it scared me. We called the Morgantown MonHealth at West Virginia University, and we had an appointment scheduled for Dr. McMee. They run the test. When he came back, he said, Rachel, I'm sorry to tell you, but the cancer, it's come back. He said, there's really nothing we can do here now. You'll have to go to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. A few days later, he was in Pittsburgh. The one doctor came in the room. First thing he said is, I'm sorry. He said, Rachel, you're far too young for this. And I don't understand where he got his statistics, but he made this statement. He said, really, there's only a one in a thousand chance for your cancer to come back. And he said, you're the one. He said, this time it'll be a 10 to 12 hour surgery, simply because we got to go back in. They literally cut her from the top to the bottom. We got to do so many different things at this time. It came back, I mentioned this morning, as a mucus type cancer. He said, at the end of the surgery, we're gonna have what is called a heated chemo treatment surgery. And that will take a couple hours. That's why it'll take so long this time for the surgery. I remember this time when they said that. The faith I had in January, knowing, believing God to heal my wife. I didn't have that in July. God, why? God, why would you heal her just to let it come back? God, I don't understand this. Thousands, literally thousands prayed. But yet you allowed her one in a thousand chance. You allowed her cancer to come back. She had the surgery not long after that appointment. This time there were two surgeons there performing the surgery. When he came back after about 11 hours, he said, Dale, we wasn't able to do everything that we wanted to do. He said, when we got in and we seen that her intestines were pressed against the wall of her body because of the cancer, they had to cut some of her intestines out and many other things had to take place. She came back this time. She had an ostomy bag, she had drainage bags. It was not the same. A couple of weeks later, she got to go home, but we had to be trained to drain the bags and learn how to do some different things medically. There had to be home health coming every week. Pastor, this is how amazing God is. Because of the things we had to have medically, because of the home health costs, every Monday, every Monday, have to pay $3,000 to $5,000 for home health. And God did it. One day when the home health nurse was there, one of her drainage banks was filling with blood. The nurse said, we need to call Pittsburgh immediately. And they did. And the Pittsburgh hospital said, well, this is somewhat normal for a surgery. That made you just watching it. It did. It quit bleeding. But by that Friday, it began to bleed again. They called the hospital and they said, you need to get her to the local hospital for blood transfusion. When she was in the local hospital, they accidentally, I'm sure it was an accident, one of the drains came out. They had to call Pittsburgh to tell them what had happened. And she had to be flown to the hospital in Pittsburgh for emergency surgery. I remember watching. that helicopter fly away. I remember thinking to myself, God, why would you let this happen? God, I don't understand how this could happen to my Rachel. They drove me to Pittsburgh. I got there that evening. She was back almost in the same room in the ICU ward. In 24 hours, she had another surgery. The doctor came back after the emergency surgery the next day and said, Dale, we looked, we tried to find where it was bleeding. We couldn't find where she was bleeding. We tried to explore and see some other things, but there's really nothing we could do. And I know I'm a preacher. I know I'm called to preach. I know that. But I thought at that moment, why am I praying? God, I know you can work miracles. I thought this way. As a pastor, as an evangelist, I have seen God heal people. Oh, I know no man can heal anybody, but I've watched God do it. I know God can. I prayed for many people, and it wasn't my prayer that healed them. It was my God that healed them. But if God could heal them, why did God not heal my wife? Day after day, she didn't get better. She only got worse. On November 14th, 2022, I walked in her room. a little bit before seven o'clock, as I did every morning. That was as soon as they'd let me come. The nurse would change shift at seven o'clock each morning. She walked in in front of me in the room. She said, Del, before I leave, is there anything I can do? I said, well, I wanna ask you a question. She said, what is it, anything? I said, I don't know what it is. I said, the only thing I can tell you is Rachel's not getting better. She's only getting worse. It was almost, and if you're in the medical field, you understand this. It was almost as if they were waiting for me to say that. She said, Dale, I want you to talk to the head nurse. She'll be in in just a few moments, and I'll have her come straight to this room. The head nurse came. She was a Lutheran, and she said, Very kind lady. We had many conversations. She would, I don't know why, she would watch me preach on YouTube, she said, and she'd always say, you're very educated. I'm thinking, no, I said, I'm thinking to myself, well, you just read your Bible, it would help. But anyhow, she was a very kind lady, very kind lady. She sat down with a team of nurses. She made a semicircle in front of me. She said, Del, what do you need? I said, ma'am, Rachel's not getting better. Every day that I come in here, she's getting worse. She said, Dale, she's not gonna get better. And I'll never forget what she told me. You need to make a decision today. And I knew what that meant. I bowed my head, but I couldn't pray. I tried. I couldn't pray. I asked God for a miracle. I asked God to save her. But I knew what she meant. I finally lifted up my head and I said, ma'am, the only thing I can tell you is I don't want her to suffer. And she said, that's the right answer. She said, Del, I can't make this decision. The doctor has to do that. And he'll be here, we'll call him now, but he'll be here in a little while and you need to tell him that. I knew that I would have to tell Adlai. But her mom wouldn't be at her wedding. God gives her grandchildren. Rachel won't see those babies. There's a little tea place that I enjoyed in Pittsburgh and we, me and Ali walked there and we tried to talk, but it was almost impossible. When we sat down in that tea place, my phone rang and it was the hospital and they said, you need to come back. And we, we almost ran those two blocks back to the hospital. I got back in the room and the doctor wasn't there, but his assistant was there. She was a Christian, a good godly lady. She said, the doctor's going into surgery, but he wanted to talk to you personally. She handed me her phone. And he asked me the same question, Del, what do you want? I said, I don't want her to suffer. He said the same thing. That's the right answer. He said, I'm gonna tell them to unplug everything and take everything off. He said, Del, it won't be long. When I handed Heard the phone back. I thought I was giving up on my wife. I've preached about faith. God's been so good to me. I've been in every state. I've been to many foreign countries. I've preached just trust God and just believe God. But yet when I needed to trust him, it was almost if I couldn't. The next few hours, people came from everywhere. They would come in. I was sitting on the right side of my Rachel. Adley was on the left side. Her mom and dad was in the corner. One after another, they would come in. They'd say things like this. They would say their goodbyes to Rachel, and they would look at me, and I'm praying for you, and I'm thinking, why? Why? It's too late. November 15th, around 6.30 in the morning, the nurse came. I don't know if I passed out or if I fell asleep, but my eyes were closed. She looked over at me and she said, Dale, she's passed. And in that moment, something overcame in my body that I'd never felt before. I know what it is to have grandparents go to heaven. That's not easy. I know what it is to have friends to die way too early. That's not easy. But when half of you leave this world, there's something different. I had talked about grief. but I'd never felt grief like that. When I got home that night, I couldn't go in the house. We went out to town and I think we went to see a movie. We came back. I walked in the house. I walked down our hallway and to the left would be our bedroom. My daughter had a couple friends there that night. And when I seen Rachel's pillow, I didn't collapse, but I fell to my knees on the floor. God help me. God, please help me. This Bible that I'm preaching out of tonight, I had it beside my bed and I took it and I just held on to it. The grief overtook my body. I thought, Brother Matt, I understood what grief was, but I had no idea. I began to study. I began to read. Pastor, this is a sad connotation for whatever our circle is. I don't have a circle, but whatever it is, this is a sad connotation. Truth of the matter is, the preachers that we know and the books that we have and that come from Baptists and others, there's not much said about grief. I studied psychology books. I studied Christian psychologists. I studied worldly psychologists. God, you're gonna have to help me. God, I can't go on. I must understand this grief. I found that there's many reasons for grief. We associate it with death and certainly that is a major reason for grief. But grief can happen in any way, shape or form. It could be a loss of a job. It could be a separation of a marriage. It could be many things that happen in your life that causes grief. I think sadly, Brother Matt, that we think because we're Christians, we should never grieve. But that is a lie. I've heard this statement in preachers and the great fundamentalists of the day will say things like this. I'm too blessed to be depressed. That sounds good, but it's not biblical. I've heard them get up in the camp meetings and the Bible conferences. We ought to just trust God and get over it. That sounds wonderful. But when you're grieving, you can't get over it. So many times we believe when we grieve, we must be lesser of a Christian. and all those around us. As I began to study, I'm the worldly psychologist, the Christian psychologist, you understand this, that there are many phases to your grief. There are many things, whatever the reason for your grief is, there are many phases that'll happen. Allow me to say this, every psychologist will tell you that there are seven major phases, whatever, oh, there's many phases. We could deal with grief the rest of this week, but there's seven major phases to this grief. no matter the reason for your grief. Number one, whatever the reason for your grief, whether you're saved or lost, there will be anger in your grief. I can honestly say I have not been mad at God. I mentioned that this morning. I tell you, I've been mad at, I've been mad at preachers. I've been angry at preachers saying things about their wife and saying things about their family. I'm thinking, God, what about my wife? I understand this. There's no such thing as a perfect marriage, but me and Rachel had as close to a perfect marriage as possible. God, why would you take my wife? Whatever the reason for your grief, there will be anger. Number two, there's a bargaining in your grief. You'll try to bargain your way. God, I'll do this. God, I'll do that. God, I'll go here. God, I'll surrender. The problem with bargaining your grief, it does not change your situation. But there is a bargaining in your grief. There's always denial in your grief. How many times in the last two years that it's like a wall I run into? God, I can't believe this. Rachel is not here. Whatever the reason, there's denial. Seven major phases, but number four, there must be acceptance in your grief. There are many people that God wants to use. He wants to use your story. He wants to use your broken pieces. He wants to use the struggles in your life, but he can never do it. until you accept the fact for the reason of your grief. Not only is there an acceptance, not only is there a denial, these seven major phases. Number five, there's anxiety in your grief. And if you do not deal with the anxiety, it will lead to depression in your grief. Number six, there's the shock of your grief. They told me, My Rachel's gone. I believe in heaven. I know it's somewhere in the third heaven, but I can't go there, not yet. Whatever the reason for your grief, there's the shock. But here's the message. There's many phases to grief, but everyone will go through these seven major phases. Number seven, there's the guilt in your grief. I remember, I'm almost done, I remember, don't tell my college class students that I'm preaching like this, I'm doing everything I tell them not to do, but anyhow, I remember in March, just a few weeks after Rachel had passed, I was in Pennsylvania with one of my best friends. He would love this area, by the way. He's a farrier, he shoes horses, and I talked to him this afternoon, and he would love this area. But he knows I love hiking, and he took me hiking, We hiked, we saw 12 waterfalls. It was a beautiful day, around 70, 72 degrees. Just a beautiful day. And I remember after we hiked, we went to a little place in Redding, Pennsylvania and had cheese steaks, a place named Tony's. And while we were waiting on the cheese steaks, there was a little record shop around the corner. It was in a basement. If you ever find a record shop in a basement, you know it's a good record shop. I had to go there, and I got some records, and I got me a Johnny Cash record. I wanted the Bob Dylan record, but I couldn't afford it, but anyhow, so I got me some records, and I remember sitting on that tailgate eating my cheese steak, and finally it was later in the evening, we got back to his house, and I went back up to my room, and I laid my head on my pillow, and I was thanking God. God, thank you, finally I've had one good whole day. Thank you, God, finally, and all of a sudden, I felt guilty. for having a good day. I thought to myself, Rachel didn't see those waterfalls. Rachel didn't get to eat cheesesteak. The good Holy Ghost of God reminded me, she's only in heaven, you think she wanted to eat cheesesteak? You think she wanted to see those waterfalls? I'm almost done, here's the message. If God allows the grief, You don't have to feel guilty. Oh yes, you'll be angry, that's natural. Yes, there are things that you will deal with, you'll deny it, there must be, you'll deal with all of those things. But if God allows the grief, you don't have to feel guilty. Can I just say this in closing? Isaiah 53 in verse one, he's speaking to Israel. And notice what he said in verse one, who, he has two questions. Who hath believed our report and to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed? He's referring to Israel, who? Who is it in Israel that will believe, have enough faith that the true Messiah is coming? Who is it in Israel? The arm of the Lord, it has everything to do with the omnipotent power of God. Who is it that will have the power of God in their life? I'm thinking to myself, it must be some great prophet Isaiah. It must be some great woman of God. But watch the Bible, watch the Bible in verse number two. For he, speaking of Christ, shall grow up before him not as a strong mighty tree, but as a tender plant. Jesus, weak and feeble as a root, not out of prosperous fruitful ground, but out of dry ground. Jesus, he hath no form or comeliness. And when we shall see him, there is no beauty, no outward appearance that we should desire him. He is despised. Rejected a man, watch this, a man of sorrows. Three times you'll find this word in this passage and he's acquainted with grief. This word grief in Isaiah 53, it has to do with sickness. We mentioned the deity of God. He was all God. Oh yes, he was tempted in all ways as you and I are tempted. Yet he could not sin, he would not sin. And we understand this. It is sin that causes sickness. It is sin, that's why there's hospitals. It is sin, that's why there are graveyards. But Jesus never sinned. I don't think he ever sneezed. I don't think he ever had a headache. I don't think he ever had to worry about a virus. The only sickness he ever felt. was grief. He's acquainted. We mentioned this this morning. Many have said, I know exactly how you feel. No, you don't. I don't know how you feel either. But there's one that knows how you feel. There's one that's acquainted with your grief. There's one that is touched by the feelings of your infirmities. He is acquainted. Watch the Bible. We hid as it were our faces from him. He was despised. We esteemed him not. Here it is again, the second time. Surely, watch this word, he if born are literally, he's carried our grief. He laid hold, he put it on him, the grief that you feel. Watch the Word of God. Surely he has borne our griefs, carried our sorrows. Yet Israel, we did esteem him stricken smitten of God because he was grieving. Israel said, this cannot be the true Messiah because he's a man of sorrows. This cannot be the one that we are looking for. But yet he carried our griefs. He was smitten. Verse number five, but he was wounded for our transgressions. He was bruised. That's an amazing word. In medical terminology, modern day, it seems like something that is bruised or purple or blue or puffed up in our skin. That's not what the Bible's talking about. He was bruised. It literally means this. He was crushed. For what? Our iniquities. The chastisement of our peace was upon him and with his stripes we are healed. Every one of us all, we like sheep have gone astray. We have turned everyone to his own way. And the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed and was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth. He is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before shearers is dumb. So he opened but not his mouth. He was taken from prison and from judgment, and who shall declare his generation? For he was cut off of the land of the living for the transgression of our people. Was he stricken? Watch verse number nine, here it is. And he made his grave with the wicked and with the rich in his death, because he hath done no violence, neither was there any deceit in his mouth. He did nothing, he even said nothing to deserve this grief. He did no violence, he did not deserve the sorrow, he did not deserve the pain. But watch the Bible in verse number 10. Yet, yet, he didn't deserve it, but look at the pleasure of his grief. Yet, it pleased the Lord. To bruise him, literally crash, His only begotten Son. It pleased Him. If God crushed His only begotten Son, what makes us think that God will not crush us even with pleasure? Look at, not the pleasure, but number two, look at the place of this grief. Verse number 10, Put him, God, God hath put Christ. Third time this word is used. He, God, God, hath put him. It wasn't the soldiers, it was God. Watch the Bible. Put him to grief. God allowed him to suffer grief. Adlai, I want you to help us. I'm done with this. Not only was there the pleasure in his grief, There was the place God put him there. But number three, watch the Bible. Look at the purpose of his grief. Yet it pleased the Lord to crush him, to bruise him. He, God, hath put him to grief, but here's the purpose. Thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin. You know why you're saved tonight? Because God put his son to grief. You know why you're not going to hell tonight? The same reason I'm not going to hell. With pleasure. He put his son in a place of grief. I'm not gonna act spiritual at this moment. I'm really not, that'd be a lie. I would do anything in the world to get Rachel back. Some very so-called spiritual preacher, he come up to me and he said, you wouldn't get Rachel back if you had to. No, sir, I promise you, I'd get her back in a minute. I would drag her out of the balcony of heaven. She wouldn't want to come. Well, I try not to be this kind of husband, but this one time I would make her come. I would tell her just a few more years. God could have done it any other way. But it was His purpose. It was His plan. I wish I could have met you years ago. But I believe God let us cross paths in His time, I really do. But I'm not the same preacher I used to be. I'm not the same person I used to be. You're looking at a broken man. You're looking at a man that just cries all the time now. I wish it could have been different. The only thing I can tell you For the last two years, I've watched God do things in my life I could have never dreamed. I've seen God work in ways I never thought possible. Ma'am, I know, I know if you could change it, you would. Sir, I know if you could stop the suffering, you'd stop it. But you don't have to feel guilty. Because God put you there. There's a purpose.