Good morning, welcome to Trinity Reformed Baptist Church, Jackson, Georgia. It's April 10th, 2016. Join us now as Pastor Brandon Smith continues our sermon series in the book of Ephesians. You'll turn your Bibles to Ephesians chapter 5. We'll begin reading with verse 21. And be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. The husband is the head of the wife as Christ also is the head of the church. He himself being the savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her, so that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in all her glory. having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great, but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church." The world screams out for relevance and pragmatism. They want to be relevant and they want to know what works. It's interesting, the broad evangelical church also screams out for relevance. And they want to know what works. But interestingly enough, when the Scripture brings forward that which is relevant and that which works, The world and the broad evangelical church reject the scripture when it provides both lessons and gives answers to both questions from a theologically biblical basis. One pastor said, how quickly the plea for relevance is muted when relevance arrives. It's interesting, you read a verse that says, wives be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord, and everybody all of a sudden screams and groans. As if Paul somehow, some way, had no idea that women had been mistreated in history or in the present day. All of a sudden, this teaching becomes antiquated. It's only for history. It's only something done so far in the past. But you know what? Paul is screaming that this is relevant and this is practical and it works. He's doing so on a theological basis though. Remember, He's building every teaching off of that which He's already said. He's already told us about God the Father in election. He's already told us about God the Son in redemption. He's already told us about the Holy Spirit in regeneration. And so now He's building off of those major doctrines to say this is how the elect, the redeemed, and the regenerated act. This is what they do. And this is what they strive to do and seek to do. In verse 21, Paul introduced the importance of subjection in a broad sense. Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. That was my last sermon a few weeks ago, a couple of weeks ago. But then he connects that broad understanding to a particular idea of roles and relations in life and the church. And he says, wives be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. Now Paul writing that is not a man who is a chauvinist, is not a man who hates women. Paul was aware of the depersonalization of women in Greek and Roman and even Jewish cultures. A Jewish man once thanked God he was not a Gentile, a slave or a woman. And for Romans, a woman had the status of imbecile. So therefore in these cultures, home life was extinct and fidelity was non-existent. But the problem with this depersonalization of women was that women were prized for their beauty, charm. They were placed up on a pedestal and assigned an unreal value. They were priced as a commodity and became property to be collected and discarded. One theologian said women came to be regarded as a useless but sometimes charming ornament. Paul's aware of all this. He's not writing this in a vacuum as if he's not aware of the culture around him. Many commentators and modern day commentators suck the meaning right out of the text. They act as if somehow because we're modern and we know more and we understand more that the text couldn't possibly mean what it says. Or they discredit the text by putting onto the text things that the text never was meaning. Verse 22 says, Wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. Number one this morning, remember, subjection is the responsibility of the wife, not the husband. Remember, subjection is the responsibility of the wife, not the husband. Subjection places the emphasis of action and reaction on the part of the party named. Who's named here? Wives. Be subject to your own husbands. Now the meaning of the word is to subject oneself to another. Now think about that for a minute. This is something the wife does. She subjects herself to another. The Christian wife subjects herself to her husband. It doesn't say here that the husband beats the wife into submission. That's not what it says. This is not talking about all the gross, heinous sins that can be committed upon women. This is talking about wives subjecting themselves to their husbands. It's something the wife does, not the husband. And it actually means that, to place yourself under another. It is a term that is used in the military status as the idea of rank. It's not taking the equality of the man and woman in Christ apart. In Christ, brothers and sisters in Christ, we are equal. But in life, God has given order. And this order is not nonsensical. It's perfect. It's a perfect order. It stems all the way back to creation. God gave it to his people. Now, gender, some people say, wow, this is all about gender. You know, you read that all the time. I can't tell you, you know, now universities have all of these classes and you can even get degrees now in women's studies. Now, there's nothing wrong with studying women. what they've done throughout history. The Bible tells us of some great women in history. The problem is that's not what they're doing. Most of these classes and most of these studies are trying to go against the God-given order that we find in creation. That's nothing to do with whether a woman is smarter than a man. That's not what God or Paul is arguing. There have been plenty of women that were smarter than a lot of other men. It's not an issue of intelligence here, it's an issue of obedience. This is written in command. Wives, subject yourselves to your husbands. Be subject to your own husbands. It's not a matter of gender. Gender applies to the marriage relationship, true. Because that's what God did when He created man and woman, Adam and Eve. Eve was created out of the side of Adam, but yet they were given to one another as what? Man and wife. That was the purpose of Eve, was to be a companion. Even in Genesis 3, 24, the idea of wife is right there in the very word, the Hebrew word that is used. Gender and marriage go together. Man and woman are to be given one to another. But even though gender applies to the marriage relationship from creation, it does not dictate the totality of submission. Remember, we're not working off of an idea here where we're saying the only people in all of life that are to submit are women. And women, you better submit. That's not the idea here. This Word has its pronouncement throughout all of Scripture. Creation, submit to God. Right? Children, obey your parents. Employees, listen and heed your employer's words. Slaves, you're masters. The idea of submission is throughout the scripture. But now Paul has brought it to a specific place. It's not gender based. It's based on the relation in the home. Wives, be subject to your own husbands. Now we know what a wife is from Genesis 3, 22 through 24. This companionship. taken out of the side of Adam. We know what submission is from Genesis 1.1. God created. In the beginning, God created. From the very beginning, submission is the idea of the Scripture. This should not be lost on us. We somehow, we act like anarchy is a part of Christian religion and it's not. The world wants you to believe that anarchy is a part of Christian religion, that revolt is a part of Christian religion, and that's not the goal of Christian religion. Are there times for just warfare and to have those types of discussions? Yes. But if you look at the predominant teaching in Scripture, it's submission. Creatures submitting to their Creator. Mankind. submitting to their Creator. Wives submitting to their own husbands. Children submitting to their parents. The fifth commandment gives us the idea of submitting to authority. Paul is not working off of something here to depersonalize the woman, to make females something awful or terrible, or to throw them aside as just mere ornament. He's trying to give us something that the whole of the Scripture is based on. Why should she submit? Out of obedience to the Lord. She submits because she is the wife of her husband. If the Lord has blessed you enough to be married and you are a wife, you should submit because you are the wife of your husband, your husband. It doesn't tell her to submit to any man. It doesn't tell her to submit to anybody else's husband. The scripture says, submit to your own husband. That's where the working relationship is. That's where the communication is supposed to be between man and wife, husband and wife. Paul will further tell us about children and he will further tell us about masters and slaves. But all of this is about relation in the scripture. Relation. When you've noticed that the word does not indicate the need for the person in the headship role to press or beat someone into submission. Anyone who skews the scripture here, they're taking it totally out of context. I can't tell you the number of times I've had discussions with people about this text or the one in Colossians like it, and they automatically go to all the terrible things that have been done to women down through history. You mean to tell me that a woman has to submit when a man's begging her? Paul doesn't have to make all those caveats, because Christianity is not irrational. Christianity makes sense. If a man is beating his wife, then he's not the proper head of his home, because a proper part of that headship is protection. If you read the commentaries, many of them, they'll say something very pointed about these things, and then they'll give all these caveats, all these different things. Yes, but this. Yes, if this. No, if that. Yes, but. Yes, but. Paul doesn't have to do all that. Ladies, if you're a Christian lady and your husband is commanding you to sin against God, that's not proper headship on his part. And you know you should not disobey God to disobey a man that wants you to disobey God. That's not what Paul's speaking of here. The culture wants you to come up with all of these outs and all of these different scenarios. But you know what? That's just childishness. When you try to tell your children to obey, what happens? If they're unconverted, especially most of the time, what do they start doing? But, if, would dad, mom, can I ask a question? And what should your answer be? Son, daughter, you're my child and God has given you to me and you are to obey. Ladies, let me ask you a question. Do you want your children to do that to you or your husband in the home? Then don't do it to your husband, especially in front of your children. Paul's pretty plain, he's not being ugly. The wife's objection must be informed and disciplined with that submission owed to God. Now, notice what Paul says. Wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. Now we're going to have that phrase a couple of times. First of all, he said in verse 21, in the fear of Christ. Verse 22, now when he brings it down to wives, he says, as to the Lord. He begins the idea of a simile here. A comparison. You need to submit to your husbands as to the Lord. The reason your husband struggles with submission to his Creator is because of his own heart. The reason that you ladies struggle with submission to your Creator is because of your own heart. And the reason that you would struggle in submitting to your husbands is because of your own heart. Your mind needs to be transformed by the renewing of God's word that you would submit yourself to your own husband as to the Lord. That's the only caveat you need. You don't need all these other caveats. Even some good modern scholars, one modern commentator who I just absolutely love, I was amazed to read his section on this. He's always noted for his brevity and clarity. When it came to this section, all of a sudden he had almost 18 pages of ands, ifs, or buts. It's just not that necessary. The only reason the world needs all of that is, number one, because they're unconverted. The second reason the world needs all the ands, ifs, or buts is why? They don't like obedience. What does the world like? The world likes chaos. But God created an order. As Paul writes, as to the Lord, he begins a simile, which is a figure of speech comparing two unlike things that is often introduced by like or as. According to Merriam-Webster, And then the OED says, a comparison of one thing to another. An ornament in poetry or rhetoric. Here's this comparison. It begins right here. Now, we often want to look at it in verse 23, as Christ also is the head of the church. The idea of a husband loving his wife as Christ gave Himself up for her. Those ideas. But really that simile, it begins right here in verse 22. As to the Lord. And then Paul even takes it further in verse 24, but as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. The church is in submission to Christ because Christ is the head of the church. The simile, the comparison is between the husband and wife and Christ and the church. The husband is head of the wife. The wife subjects herself to the husband. as to the Lord, just as the church is subject to Christ. So what does that mean? So also wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. There are times your wife may come and ask you a question about something, men. And to you, it seems small and insignificant. Be careful how you answer though, because she might be striving to submit in everything. Don't make light of her coming to you. Be thoughtful and gracious. It's hard to do. There are times, even in my own life, I recognize I may get asked a question from Beth, and I think to myself, I don't know why she's asking me. She knows. But she came. It's a mission to ask that question in everything, in everything. The in everything is commensurate with submission to God. She's not to submit where anything is outside of God's moral precepts. Ladies, if you are married or if you hope to be married one day, God never wants you to sin against Him, even if you would call it submission to your husband. Submission is always as to the Lord. As to the Lord. Well, secondly this morning, we want to remember headship is the responsibility of the husband, not the wife. Remember, subjection is the responsibility of the wife, not the husband. Secondly, remember headship is the responsibility of the husband, not the wife. Scripture does not open debate on the matter of headship in a marriage. Paul is not asking for discussion here. He's not bringing up for debate. He's not going around and taking a consensus. He's not asking, you know, 60 minutes to weigh in. He just says, for the husband is the head of the wife. As, here's that continued simile, as Christ also is the head of the church. He himself being the savior of the body. This morning I won't get to every aspect of headship. There's going to be some things that I'll say the next week about this because Paul's going to go further. We won't get to it all this morning. But I think here's a starting point. The word means the head, and has the unmistakable connotation of authority in relation to another. Now, you can go read all kind of commentaries out there, some of them good, some of them really bad, and they can give you all types of definitions about the word here that Paul uses for head. That word in the text, it just means one in authority, the head. That's its meaning. You can try to do something else with it if you want to, but it just doesn't mean anything else. It's like when Paul said, you were once dead in your sins, the word dead meant dead. People try to take the word dead and make it something else. Well, they weren't really dead. They were kind of sick. He wasn't really meaning that exactly. No, he meant that exactly. And here he says it. For the husband is the head of the wife. It's a term of authority. Is authority to be abused? No. Is it okay for a husband to have sinful authority over his wife? No. But remember, Paul is speaking to a body of believers. He's already told them about God's work and salvation in their lives and what God had done. And He's saying to them, as Christian wives and as Christian husbands, this is what you ought to do. So what's that also telling you? The world won't get it. Don't look to the world for them to understand how you act inside your home, how you react inside your marriage. The world won't get it. But are we here to please the world? It said, wives, be subject to your husbands as to the Lord. Husband, you're the head of the wife as Christ also is the head of the church. This simile helps us to see the greatness of this picture. Calvin put it this way, he says, this is the reason why wives should be obedient. Christ has appointed the same relation to exist between a husband and a wife as between himself and his church. This comparison ought to produce a stronger impression upon their minds. Husbands, you're to be the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. That ought to be a strong impression on your mind. Will you achieve perfectly what Christ is as the head of the church? Husbands, no. Ladies, will you achieve perfectly? Subjection, no. But there ought to be a strong impression upon your mind. that this is not just some antiquated view of women in history that Paul is just bringing forward to depersonalize women even more, to make men greater even more. No, this is based in God's order. God produced this order in creation. Yes, it is true, Christ is the Savior of His body, the church. Husbands. You're the head of the wife as Christ also is the head of the church. What does that mean? What does that give us an idea of? He Himself being the Savior of the body. What did Christ do in procuring the body? It is true. He's the Savior of the body. But the simile, I think, goes a little further. Now, if you read the commentaries, they'll give you one view or another. This is about Christ as the Savior of the body, and it only depends on this issue of Christ being the Savior of the body. And other commentaries will say, well, this is about the husband being the Savior of the wife, or something of that nature. Well, I think there's a little bit of both and. You know why? Because it is true that Christ is the Savior of the body. But it is also true in creation, Eve was created out of Adam's side. So the husband is the protector or savior of the woman's body. It's true. Are there some women that are physically stronger than some men? Yes. We can have all types of cases where we go after those types of things. But the truth of the matter is, The woman was taken from the man's side. And just as Christ was the protector and savior of his body, the church, so should the husband be the protector and savior of the wife, of her body. Taking care of her. The idea of provision is here given. husbands thinking rightly about providing for their homes. There is a simile that Paul is sticking with and we don't need to walk away from it. Although it's not perfect in every way, that's not what a simile does. Most of the time it compares unlike things. We cannot compare husbands and the perfect work of Christ, for a husband will never be that. We cannot say that a woman will ever be perfect in submission, as the church will one day be unto Christ. But here it is, this comparison given to impress upon our minds the importance of the order that God gives. This is not to be taken lightly, or Paul wouldn't use this analogy. Well, I want to leave us with several observations this morning. Number one, order is the backbone of God's creation. Order is the backbone of God's creation. Watch how the world works. It's really about chaos, really. I want to talk about order. And unless there's some serious thought about God giving order to his people, most of society eventually ends up somewhere in anarchy. I mean, it just happens. Even in our American culture, we revolted against Britain for particular reasons we thought were good reasons, and we can have that debate whether they were or they weren't. I tend to be an American through and through and say, yeah, we should have done that, all right? But there's been plenty of revolt and anarchy even throughout our own country. The 60s and 70s were full of it. But when you look at what God did in creation, the backbone of His creation is order. It's order. Secondly, God's order extends to every portion of life, including the home. God's order extends to every portion of life, including the home. What's Paul telling us? He told the Athenians in Acts about the order of creation, but when he preaches or writes to these Ephesian believers, he tells them about the order of salvation in chapter one. And when he tells them about the great order of salvation, what does he derive from that? He continues to draw a picture of order until he comes to what? Order in the home. Order in the home. Thirdly, a marriage without subjection is dysfunctional. A marriage without subjection is dysfunctional. The submission of a wife is a religious obligation. She may be in many things man's superior. in sympathy, in delicacy of sentiment, in warmth of devotion, in moral heroism, and in patience. Still this obedience sits gracefully upon her, as in harmony with all that is fair and feminine. This is not a superintended obligation. It springs from the affection and softness of her very nature, which is not fitted for robust and masculine independence. Do men need to be subdued to God as Creator? Yes. But God created men a certain way and God created women a certain way. And He created them that way for purpose. This doesn't mean, ladies, that you lose your personality. Some of you ladies have strong personalities. It's just true. You're strong people. You have strong personalities. It doesn't mean that you lose that personality. More than likely, that's one of the reasons that your husband married you is he loved your personality and loves your personality. But what it does mean is that you're willing, even though your personality might be strong in places, you're willing to submit to your own husband as to the Lord. For if you're not willing to submit and you become the head, then dysfunction will ensue. I think Calvin put it succinctly when he said, wives cannot obey Christ unless they yield obedience to their husbands. It's just an issue of obedience to Christ. It's not about losing your personality. It's not about losing who God made you. It's doing what God called you to do. Number four, a marriage without headship is out of order. A marriage without subjection is in dysfunction. And a marriage without headship is out of order. I remind you of my illustration a couple of weeks ago about a husband and wife getting in the car to be able to go out to eat dinner and neither one of them can make a decision on where to eat. So they just sit in the driveway. Five, ten minutes goes by, where do you want to go? I don't know, where do you want to go? Well, no, where do you want to go? I don't know, where do you want to go? Do you have a taste for anything particular? I don't know, what about you? Do you have a taste for anything particular? Well, what do you feel like eating? I don't know, what do you feel like eating? Was there anything that just crossed your mind earlier that you wanted to eat? I don't know. What about you? You see how it could just go on and on and on and on and on? A marriage without headship is out of order. Isn't it great when you walk up to one of these vending machines and you put your dollar in and you press that button for a Sprite and it says, out of order. What do you get? Nothing. When a marriage is out of order, you get nothing. If God has given that marriage children, you get nothing in parenting, but chaos. Children gone wild. Because there's no order, there's no headship, there's no subjection. And the children say, well, chaos must ensue because nobody else seems to be in charge here. And what will children do? They will take off with chaos left to themselves. A marriage without headship is out of order. Husbands, I implore you this morning, take up your role in a godly way Be thoughtful about leading your home, communicating with your spouse, and speaking with your children. It doesn't mean that a husband loses his personality either, but it does mean that husbands engage. You cannot be the head of something when you're not doing anything. If you're not engaging in what's going on in your home with your wife and your kids, you can't be the head of anything. So it's going to be out of order. It's going to be out of order. Paul's simile is one where he wants to leave us to think rightly about our relationship to husband and wife and to put it in a perspective like no other. as to the Lord, as Christ is the head of the church. He doesn't leave it to some analogy in the world. He doesn't leave it to some small, little insignificant idea in the world. When he makes this simile, he wants us to think rightly about how important our relationship is in the home between husband and wife. And he uses this comparison between Christ and the church. Shouldn't that impress upon our minds how important it is to think rightly about it? Please put all the caveats aside, put all the way the world wants to degrade the text aside, and just think plainly on what Paul said. There's no chauvinism, there's no depersonalization of women here. Ladies, if you are a wife, it's your responsibility to subject yourself to your husbands. Men, if you are a husband, it is your responsibility to be the head of your home. There's absolutely nothing here to degrade any of you. It's all done for proper, right order to the God who created us. And saying to Him, you know what? God, it works because you gave it to us. Do you think God would be stupid enough to tell you to do something that's not going to work? It's relevant. It brings order. And it works. Because apart from these type of things, It's dysfunctional and out of order. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, You're merciful to us in Your Word that You don't leave us without necessary understanding of order and truth. And yet, Lord, You never leave us in the bindings of legalism to think these actions somehow are part of our own salvation. But you give us the proper understanding that we do these things as a part of our daily worship to you for what you have done through the person and work of your son, the Lord Jesus. May we think rightly, not as the world thinks, but as you would have us to think. May we glory in you alone for the order you've provided in your church. It's in the name of the Lord Jesus we pray, amen.