If you will, turn with me to Ephesians chapter 6. In Ephesians chapter 6 verse 4, let me remind you of this passage. And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. And we're going to continue our study of biblical parenting. Once again, this will be a multi-week study for us as we we consider what God's Word has to say about the nature of our children and how God requires us to raise them up. When we went through this last week, I'm just, by way of review, going to hit a couple of high spots for you. But remember, when we go through a study like this, it's going to be highly biblical intense, okay? Because there's really no way for you to raise your children. I mean, the church has abandoned God's Word in a lot of different ways, and raising children has been one of them. And we see the product of what's going on in our world because of the abandonment of God's way. We think we know more than Him. As we talked last week, the Bible is the blueprint not for only how to build a church, not only how for the Christian to walk, but it's the blueprint for everything. The building of a society, the building of a civil government, the building of your home. And so when we're ignorant of the scriptures and we abandon the blueprint, we should not expect the blessings of God, but rather we should expect the curses of God. Now, since the bulk of our study is going to be around the use of the Scriptures, there were some questions I asked you and I'm going to ask them again. Number one, how well do you know the Scriptures? Would you say you're competent in them? If not, what are you willing to do so that you do become competent in the Scriptures? So that you might bring them to your children. And we're going to study tonight the nature of your children and anything short of the omnipotence of God, which is found through His Word, you're not going to be successful here. Number two, how often do you refer to the scriptures in the course of a normal conversation with your children? Number three, how adept are you at teaching and relating the scriptures to your children in your everyday life? Number four, how effectively do you use the scriptures to reprove? When we talk about reprove, we're talking about convict your children of their sins. Do you reprove in such a way that causes your children to revere God's word or for them to hate it? Next, how consistently do you use the Bible when you correct them? And then finally, how do you use the Bible to train your children in righteousness to help them in their walk in the Lord? So these are things that we need to consider because When Paul says here in Ephesians chapter 6, and you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord, you need to understand, without the continued use of God's Word, it is not possible to raise them. Remember what we read in Proverbs 29, 15 last week. It's the rod and reproof that give wisdom. And when we bring about reproof, we're talking about conviction. Where does conviction come from? From your human wisdom? Or do you want to bring godly wisdom? And once again, you're going to give me the right answers, just by the way I phrased the question. But are you doing this? If not, why not? So we also talked about the authority of God's Word. Before we can really get into any study of raising our children up, we need to understand the authority and the sufficiency of Scripture. And we read out of our confession last week that the whole counsel of God concerning all things necessary for His own glory, man's salvation, faith, and life is either expressly set down or necessarily contained in the Holy Scriptures into which nothing at any time is to be added, whether by new revelation of the Spirit or traditions of men. And the question for you is, do you believe that? Do you believe that the Word of God is sufficient for us to walk a godly life? Turn over to 2 Timothy chapter 3. Let's review this passage. 2 Timothy chapter 3, we read this in verse 16, "...All Scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and for instruction in righteousness." And from this passage, we see a four-fold use of the Scriptures. When we come to the Scriptures, we see this four-fold use that it is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and instruction in righteousness. So we looked at that last week. We saw that the Word of God is living. It's powerful. It has the ability to open and lay people open. So the question for you is, do you believe that the Word of God is sufficient? And if you do, then it'll impact the way you conduct and handle your children as you raise them. Next, we saw that because the Word of God is authoritative, the Scriptures have called you as parents to be authorities within your home. So since we understand that we're under the authority of the Word, we need to understand that God has called us to be authorities within our home. As parents, we are to exercise authority as God's agents. This means that we may not direct our children for our own agenda or for our own convenience, but we must direct our children on God's behalf for their own good. And when we talk about our children being under our authority, the purpose is not for us to hold them under our power, but really to empower them to be self-controlled individuals who live freely under the authority of God. That's what we desire for our children. And I think the best description between your relationship, or one of the best descriptions between your relationship between you and your child is that of a shepherd. You need to be shepherding that child to guide him, to nourish him, to protect him. So let me just, before we move into our next section, let me just give you this exhortation concerning God's Word. God has called you to be in authority. You're in authority over your children. And the question for each of you this evening is whether you intend to look to God's blueprint for how to raise and structure your home, how to raise your children. Are you gonna look to some other standard? And it's interesting, John MacArthur talks about, you know, a lot of guys our age, probably not John, because he probably lived back during that day, but anyway, back in the early 70s, remember, John, there was the big battle over the inerrancy of Scripture back in the early 70s? What were you, 30, 40? Yeah. So, I'm just messing with John, but listen, when we go back, we have forgotten what they fought over. And so, there's some things that John MacArthur tells us, I just want to give these to you to think about. And the Scripture is under attack. Again, it's always under attack, but number one, when Scripture is attacked, we are required to defend it. The Word of God is attacked, and so it's being attacked within homes because the Word of God is not being utilized within the home because people don't see it as sufficient. We look somewhere else. We're looking to the world's standards in how we raise our children. Number two, Scripture is authoritative, and because it's authoritative, we are called to declare it. So Scripture is authoritative and we are called to declare it. Number three, Scripture is accurate and we are to demonstrate it. Scripture is accurate and we are to demonstrate it in front of our children. Because part of discipline, and we're going to deal more with this next week than we are this week, but part of discipline doesn't just come when your children mess up. The majority of your discipline should be in a positive format where you are continuously encouraging them in the Lord and you are exhorting them in the Lord. And you got all kind of opportunities to do this with your children. So if the only time they hear the scripture is when there's a rod associated with it, that's going to leave an impact on your children. It's going to influence them in a certain way. The majority of your influence and the majority of your discipline should be in a positive nature. And I'm going to explain to you why here in a little bit. Number four, the Scripture is active through the power of the Spirit, and we are required to deploy it. The Scripture is active through the power of the Spirit, and we are required to deploy it. I thought those were some good ideas, some reminders that MacArthur teaches us. Now let me ask you this, when it comes to delighting in the Word of God, I want you to think about this. If you stop delighting in the Word because you think there's something else better than the Word of God, then you are one step away from denying the Word of God. If you stop delighting in the Word because you think there's something better than the Word of God, you're one step away from denying it. And I want you to think about this too. You won't obey what you don't believe, and you won't believe what you don't obey. And you need to understand that when it comes to your children, your actions speak a lot louder than your words. I want to leave you with this thought before I get off the authority of the Word of God. This comes from Matthew Henry, and he's instructing. This comes out of one of his sermons, and he's instructing his congregation. You must read the scriptures to your families. He says, I hope none of you are without Bibles in your houses. Thanks be to God we have them cheap and common in our common language that we can understand. And he reminds his congregation, when the potpourri reigned in this land, English Bibles were scarce things. He says, a load of hay, it is said, was once given for one torn leaf of the Bible. That's how scarce they were. But now Bibles are everyone's money. He says, it's better to be without bread in your houses than without Bibles. For the words of God's mouth are and should be to you more than your necessary food. Don't you think about what he just said there. Do you believe that? How many times do you not neglect going and eating, but you will neglect the Word of God? But what will it avail you to have Bibles in your houses, Henry says, if you do not use them? to have the great things of God's law and his gospel written to you if you count them as a strange thing." And he's talking about you're just unfamiliar with them. He says, "...let me therefore with all earnestness press it upon you to make the solemn reading of the scriptures a part of your daily worship in your homes with your families." And John and I were talking about this earlier as I was driving from Raleigh today. And it's interesting, you know, we still talk about the Puritans today. You ever wonder why? It's not just because they were doctrinally brilliant in how they understood God's Word. It's that they were willing to apply it without compromise, even to their own detriment. That's why we still read them. This is why we're still impressed by them. They were willing to lose property before they would ever compromise the Word of God, or let their children be under something other than the pure Word of God. And that ought to be our attitude concerning God's Word. I'm not sure we have that. But if we want to see true reformation in this land, if we want to see true reformation within our homes, what are you willing to give up if the Word of God is not faithfully being taught within your homes? If it's not faithfully being used within your homes? Any questions on the Word of God before we move on to our next section? I hope you understand the importance of God's Word. To look to anything else is to your child's detriment. So this evening what I want to do is I want to deal, take your hymn books out, turn to page 673, and this evening I want us to consider the fallen nature of man and really this is just going to be a continuation of what I've already told you last week. You need something powerful enough to deal with the nature of your children. And I want you to understand, if you're taking notes, this is part two of the study. This is the fallen nature of man, and I've subtitled this, yes, this includes even your children. The problem is, is we tend to look at our children, now we can see the sins in everybody else's children, but we tend often not to see them in our own children. And we don't understand, or at least we tend to forget, that they have sin natures, and that nature must be dealt with. Okay? In our confession, I'm going to read several sections here just to familiarize you with what this church believes. It says, if you're on page 673 there in chapter 6, paragraph 1, it says, and threatened death upon the breach thereof, yet he did not long abide in this honor, Satan using the subtlety of the serpent to seduce Eve, then by her seducing Adam, who, without any compulsion, did willfully transgress the law of their creation and the command given unto them, and eating the forbidden fruit which God was pleased, according to his wise and holy counsel, to permit, having purpose to order it for his own glory." Paragraph 2. our first parents by this sin fell from their original righteousness and communion with God and we in them, and that's important, whereby death came upon all, all becoming dead in sin, and you need to understand what that means and how that applies to your children, and wholly defiled in all the faculties and parts of the soul and body. Paragraph three. They being the root, talking about Adam and Eve, and by God's appointment standing in the room and instead of all mankind, the guilt of the sin was imputed, and corrupted nature conveyed," you need to understand what that means, "...to all their posterity, descending from them by ordinary generation, being now conceived in sin, and by nature children of wrath, the servants of sin, the subjects of death, and all other miseries, spiritual, temporal, and eternal, unless the Lord Jesus set them free." This is the state of mankind because of the fall of Adam. And from this, we derive two doctrines that you need to become familiar with because it's going to be important as you try to raise your children. The first doctrine is this, total depravity. The second one is total inability. Total depravity and total inability. Let's talk about total depravity first. This is what one theologian said. He says this, First, man in his raw natural state as he comes from the womb is morally and spiritually corrupt in disposition and character. Every part of his being, his mind, his will, his emotions, his affections, his conscience, his body, has been affected by sin. This is what is meant by total depravity. His understanding is darkened. His mind is at enmity. And when we talk about enmity, children, we're talking about hostility. His mind is at enmity with God. His will to act is slave to his darkened understanding and rebellious mind. His heart is corrupt. His emotions are perverted. His affections naturally gravitate to that which is evil and ungodly. His conscience is untrustworthy, and his body is subject to mortality." That's a pretty sad state for man, right? Everything about us gravitates towards evil, not the glorification of God. Now, we could talk about many weeks, or I could spend a lot of weeks talking about the theological implications of this doctrine, and we're going to deal with this as we get further in Romans chapter 3, particularly when we get out of verse 8. I'm going to deal with this doctrine in more detail. But suffice it to say, turn to Genesis 1-26. I just want to hit a couple of high spots for you so you're familiar with the biblical backup to these doctrinal statements. Now in Genesis 1, we have the pinnacle of God's creation starting in verse 26. Then God said, let us make man in our image according to our likeness. Let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, over the cattle, over all the earth, over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. So God created man in his own image, and the image of God he created him, male and female he created them. So God created man originally in his image, and through the scriptures what we see is that God created man upright, holy, and knowledgeable. But we know something drastic took place. Something's not right with respect to mankind. I want you to see after the fall. Turn over to Genesis chapter 5. So we know in Genesis 3, they ate of the fruit. They fell. Not only did they bring all of mankind into condemnation, but now we have inherited their fallen, corrupt nature. And I want you to see this in Genesis 5, look at verse 1. This is the book of the genealogy of Adam. In the day that God created man, notice he made him in the likeness of God. He created them male and female and blessed them and called them mankind in the day they were created. And Adam lived 130 years and begot a son in his, notice this, in his own likeness after his image and named him Seth. That tells you a lot. And it's interesting that God made Adam in his image, but now after this, after the fall, Adam now has children after his image, so something has happened. And because of this, because mankind has a sinful nature, he by nature, or he by definition, is a sinner. He's sinful by nature, and thereby he's going to sin. He's going to gravitate to this. Let me ask you this, those that have young children. How long did it take your children to start disobeying you? Did you have to teach them? Did they have to be influenced by public school kids or anything like that? It didn't take any time. Why? Because they have a fallen nature. Turn over to Genesis chapter 6. Look at verse 5 and 6. Notice this. Notice then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth and noticed that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. Now because of this, God purposed to destroy the earth and save one family. But you understand what the flood didn't do. The flood did not remedy man's fallen nature. So when we come to Genesis chapter 8, now this is where Noah is off the boat. They've already had a covenant made and then we're going to see also that he offers sacrifices. But just jump in the context and look at verse 21, "...and the Lord smelled a soothing aroma." And the Lord said in his heart, I will never curse the ground for man's sake. Although the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth, nor will I again destroy every living thing as I have done." So once again, the flood did not remedy man of this fallen nature. He still has these sinful dispositions because of his nature. Let me give you just one New Testament text. Turn to Ephesians chapter 2. Ephesians chapter 2, notice what he says in verse 1, "...and you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sin, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the Spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lust of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others." So, Paul talks about us at one time, those who have not been recipients of grace, as being dead in our sins and trespasses. So what can a dead man do? Spiritually speaking, a dead man can't do anything until the Spirit of God works within him. And you say, okay, well, we get the point. Man's sinful. Nobody really argues about that, right? Well, it really depends on how you define sinful. If you mean sinful in the sense that no one's perfect, then a lot of people would agree with you. They don't have a problem with that. If you define sinful in the sense that man is totally corrupt and sinful to the core, then guess what? There are all kinds of objections from outside the church and especially within the church. So there's many of those who think with enough education or increase in one's financial standing that man will show us how good he is. But that's not what these verses teach. These verses tell us that man is totally depraved. You see, if we continue to tell people that they're inherently good, then they really don't see any need for a Savior. and you keep reinforcing that in your children, why would they ever see a need to come to Christ? So it's up to us to tell them the truth, and the truth is that they do stand condemned before a holy God, and that without a work of God taking place in their heart, they're gonna continue down this downward spiral of sin and sin and sin. Now, if you can understand total depravity, then you're ready to understand the next doctrine, which is total inability. Alright, so let's talk about it. Since man is totally corrupt, And he's incapable of changing his character. In other words, he's not able to behave in a way that's contrary to his nature. Right, children? Why can't a dog behave like a cat? He doesn't have a nature of a cat. So why can't a sinner not behave in a way that is sinful? You know, something's got to happen to his nature. A radical change has got to take place within the individual. He's unable to change the fact that he cannot love, discern spiritual things, or choose the things that please God. He can't do anything about that until the Lord does something in his life. But instead of listening to me, let's look at what the Scriptures say. Go to Matthew 7. We'll look at a few verses. Matthew 7, look at verse 18. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. It's just impossible. A bad tree will never produce good fruit. And until there's something that takes place within the heart of an individual, especially your children, right? What good would you expect to come from someone whose very nature is corrupt? Turn over to John 6. Now, notice what Jesus says here in John 6. Pick up the reading in verse 44. All right, so let's do a grammar lesson. What's the difference between can and may? One deals with ability and the other one deals with permission. He's not saying you don't have permission. All have permission to come to God. The problem is, according to Christ, they just can't do it. Do you see what he says? No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him, and I will raise him up at the last day. Drop down to verse 65. Notice what he says there. And he said, Therefore I have said to you that no one can come to me unless it has been granted to him by my Father. So when we talk about total depravity, and when we talk about total inability, what are we saying? We're saying that man in his fallen state is unable to change himself, but we're also saying that man is unable to come to God, And so if the natural man is left to himself, he dies in his sins and trespasses. Turn over to Romans chapter 3. I'll just read this one and leave it with you. But this explains a lot about what Paul's teaching here in these first several chapters of Romans. But in Romans 3, he says this. What then? Are we better than they? Not at all. Starting in verse 9. For we have previously charged that both Jews and Greeks, they're all under sin. And that preposition under has this picture that you're under a weight You're under something and you can't get it off of you. And you need a strong man to come get this off of you. And that's what Christ does. By the power of His Spirit, He comes in and He removes this off of you. But I want you to see, because we're all under sin, what's the consequence? As it is written, there is none righteous, no, not one. There is none who understands, there is none who seeks after God. They have all turned aside, they have together become unprofitable. There is none who does good, no, not one. Their throat is an open tomb, with their tongues they have practiced deceit. The poison of Asp is under their lips, whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness. Their feet are swift to shed blood. Destruction and misery are their ways, and the way of peace they have not known. And there is no fear of God before their eyes. So we see the condition of man. We see the problem, right? And so, this means that God actively has to come and deal with man. I mean, this is why, for example, in Galatians 1, Paul writes, Jesus plucked, or the Greek word might better be translated, delivered us. Now, if you're in a home that's in fire, you know, the fires are raging around you, and a fireman comes in to deliver you, The whole idea of deliver means he did something for you. You're trapped. You're stuck. You can't get out. Someone has to come in and snatch you out. They have to pluck you out of that situation. And this is exactly what Christ does for us. And what you need to understand is that these doctrines certainly do have implications with respect to evangelism. You know, when we're talking to those that we live around and that sort of stuff, we come in contact day in and day out. but this has huge implications with respect to your children. Are you starting to get the picture? Do you understand if all you do is bring the rod, is the rod sufficient to change the nature? That's why you have to bring the rod and reproof. So the Bible teaches something drastic took place at the fall of Adam. Not only did we receive judicial consequences of his fall, in other words, Romans 5 teaches us that we are condemned, but we also received his nature. And as a result of Adam's fall, we've inherited this sinful nature. And since we act according to our nature, then we sin. And your child's behavior is only a response to them reacting to their nature. And so at the heart of raising your children, you need to bring the gospel of grace to bear on that child and allow God's Spirit to change His nature. And so because the nature of the heart, remember, is dead, is unresponsive to the things of God, we need something on the order of divine omnipotence to do something, to intervene. And God has given us the means by which He does intervene. He's given us the means of grace. He's given us the sword of the Spirit. He says it's sharper than any two-edged sword. Okay? Turn over to Proverbs 4. Any questions on that one? Before I move off that, I'm trying to lay out the foundation of why we're going to be talking about the things we're going to be talking about over the next several weeks. If you don't understand the authority of the Word of God, you're not going to get anything else. If you don't understand that, yes, even your children are sinners too, You're going to keep misdiagnosing the problem, and you're going to keep disciplining one aspect of the problem, and you're not going to bring the full weight of God's Word to that child's soul. Proverbs 4, look at verse 23. Keep your heart with all diligence. Why would he say that? He says, for out of it springs the issues of life. So this teaches me that a person's life is a reflection of his heart. Our behavior is an expression of the overflow of our heart. What you say, what you think, what you do is a reflection of your heart. Remember the old bump the teacup analogy I gave you? What happens when you bump a teacup? Whatever's in it comes out. And how you behave, how you talk, how you respond is a reflection of what's in your heart. If you're prone to anger and bitterness, that's a reflection of your heart. If you're prone to be arrogant, haughty, it's a reflection of your heart. Turn over to Mark chapter 7. Let's look at a few more passages. I'm reading these things because I want you to have access to some of these texts that teach on this and support what we're going to be doing. But in Mark 7, 21, from within, out of the heart of men proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, theft, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within and defile a man. So when you see someone out there who is an adulterer, when you see someone out there who's a thief, when you see someone who is a murderer, any of these vices that you read about, what's it a reflection of? That's right. It's what they are inherently. Okay. Go to Luke 6. Look at Luke 6. Let's see. It's picking up in verse 45. A good man out of the good treasures of his heart brings forth good, and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. So passages such as these are instructive when it comes to shepherding your children. You see, if you don't get this principle, then it's easy for you to get sidetracked with just behaviors only. You see, if your goal is just to change the behavior, but you don't deal with the heart, then you're going to only see temporary results, but not lasting results. And so let's face it, dealing with external behavior, why? Just out of curiosity, any ideas why we just deal with external behaviors? It is. It's relatively easier, and then there's one other reason. Yeah. Makes you look good, or another way to look at it is it makes you look bad if these external behaviors go awry. Right? How many times have you had somebody come and tell you, oh, your children are so well-behaved, and you kind of get all puffed up, and then the next setting, it's like, you know, it's like a circus around the dinner table out to eat, right? It looks crazy, like you've never instructed them at all. So, once again, I think it's easier to deal with the external behavior because it's the first thing that alerts us that there's a problem. And what I want you to understand is you get this doctrine of total inability and the doctrine of total depravity, you're going to start dealing with the problem before the external behaviors even start festering their head. Does that make sense? This is why next week we're going to deal with the whole issue of Discipline is not always in a negative sense. There is a such thing as called positive discipline. When does the positive discipline take place? Family worship, as you sit around the table, as you rise, as you walk, as you're, you know, all throughout the day we have opportunities to exhort and to encourage our children in the Lord, in the Word. And so as you bring the Word of God to bear in their heart, think of the Word of God as just plowing up that ground, plowing up that heart. that's being made ready for the grace of the Holy Spirit to come through there. If you're only dealing with it in the negative sense, you're missing out on the huge benefit and all these other times, all these blessings that you could be encouraging them. Okay? Let me ask you fathers this. Do you want me to only just come to you and deal with you when I see the negative? Yeah, I don't want you doing like that. Right? Then why do you think your children would? You want to be positively exhorted. You want to be positively encouraged in your walk in the Lord. You don't always want the negative rebuke. Nobody wants to sit under that. You don't want to sit under it, so don't make your children sit under it. Okay? So... What's the problem? Well, one said it this way, the problem is this, your child's needs are far more profound than his deviant behavior. Remember, his behavior does not just spring forth uncaused. His behavior, the things he says, the things he does, reflects his heart. If you really are to help him, you must be concerned with the attitudes of the heart that drive his behavior. And then he goes on to say, a change of behavior that does not stem from a change in the heart is not commendable, it's condemnable. And I think that's true. That's exactly the problem. That's exactly, you know, that was the problem actually when you think about it. That's the problem Jesus dealt with when he was dealing with the Pharisees, is it not? He was dealing with the Pharisees because of their hypocrisy. You know, in other words, he told them, put no confidence in the one who honors with just his lips only. or even with his actions, but yet at the same time, his heart is far from God. Remember, the Pharisees were not being chastised because they didn't pray or do charitable giving or any of those things. They were being chastised because they were doing it for the praise of men, and their heart was far from God. Jesus, remember, he referred to these kind of people as whitewashed tombs, clean cups, who are filthy on the inside. And so, I think this is what we do to our children when we demand behavioural changes without addressing the issues of the heart or addressing the heart that is driving the behaviours. Well, some of you may be asking yourselves, what must we do when it comes to correction and discipline? Well, I think you have to deal with the external behavior because God's law demands this. However, what I'm trying to get you to think about is don't be content with just correcting the external behaviors. You begin the process of showing your child something of his behavior because it's a result of his straying heart. Now, I've been trying to read through some of these books to get some examples. I'm gonna give you an example to think about, all right? This is a typical one. I've seen this example in several of the books I was reading on some of this. Two children are playing and a fight breaks out over a particular toy. How is this usually resolved in your home? Now don't give me the right answer. Tell me what you really do. Two kids are fighting over a toy. All right, so the one screaming the loudest hush them up and let them have it. So that's one way we normally handle it. What else? So you take the toy away. What else? Yeah, who had it first? What's the big deal here? Who's the owner? Now, let's ask the question. Now that you know what you know about the depravity of Now what do we need to be dealing with? A heart, right? See, justice operates in the favor of the child who was quicker to the draw or whoever was to get the toy first, right? When we say, well, who had it first? However, if we start looking at this situation in terms of a heart issue, then it's different. When you start looking at the situation with the heart in mind, it becomes obvious that both children are at fault here. Why? because they're both displaying a hardness of heart. They're both displaying sinful attitudes towards one another. What are they actually saying? What is the child actually saying? I don't care if he's one year old. He's actually saying, I'm concerned only about myself. I want this toy. My happiness depends on me having this and I will have it and I'm going to be happy regardless of what it means to you or how it hurts you. Now, that's what's going on in the heart of that child. What are some scripture texts that need to be used to deal with that. This is how you start bringing the Word of God to bear. Alright, what else? Alright, what else? Alright, better to give than to receive. Alright, what else? Any others? You could do that. Seek ye first the kingdom of God. So what else? How about be ye kind one to another? How about that one? How about Philippians 2? Think of others better than yourself. Look out for the interest of others. How about trying to figure out a way of just, you know, at the end of the day, what they're fighting... Alright, let me give you another example. Now John, you can't answer this because we talked about it earlier today. Now here's a scenario. Don't assume that just because I give it, my household is guilty of this, but let's just use it anyway. What happens if you have a bunch of kids and a limited supply of hot water? And certain kids may want to... Why are y'all looking over there? Right? We're not talking about my family, we're talking about y'alls. Alright, now let's just say a kid or a couple of kids, whatever, right? They want to go in there and and just enjoying themselves because it does feel good, you know, a good hot shower, and thirty minutes later they're just still in there enjoying themselves. Now what's the problem? Think about all the different things that go on that lead you to this type of behavior, and then what happens when dad gets in there and there's no hot water left? Alright, so let's think about that scenario. Not dad, but just, we're not focusing on me, right? We're focusing on y'all. And so the idea here is what's the problem? There's a lot of problems here, right? When you start thinking about it, you bring it to a hard issue. What's going on? Alright, so selfishness, right? I know there's a limited amount, and I don't really care. I'm just going to continue to enjoy myself, and it feels good. Look, right? I get it. A good hot shower feels good. Nobody's arguing over that, alright? So they're only thinking of themselves. What else is the problem here? Huh? Sure, inconsiderate. Thinking of themselves, inconsiderate. What else? They're not thinking of the other person, right? What else? Not thinking of the power bill, right? Because they don't have to pay for it. Alright, what else? Alright, let me ask you men this. Is that unreasonable? I mean, would you believe that when I get a shower in the morning, By the time I pretty all this up, I get a shower, I brush this hair, I do a little shaving, and then five minutes, I'm done. That's about it. I get on and I'm about my business. Now what happens when you sit there and consume 30 minutes primping and prettying yourself up, and then you go spend another 15 to 20 to 30 minutes muddling around the kitchen to find you something to eat? What have you just now done? You have squandered an hour of time every day if you do this, right? So it's not only are you not thinking of others, but it's actually, that's a horrible use of your time if we're to be preparing ourselves for God's service or moving on with the day. So how many times would your children tell you, I don't have time, I can't pray that long, I can't read the word that long. Well, you know if you got out of that shower, if you learn how to eat more efficiently, There might be a lot of time in a day that you could spend with the Lord growing. So there's a heart issue here that they don't get, and you're going to have to help them get this. But you've got to think like this. You need to start thinking biblically through these situations. Right? Alright. Any other questions on that one? Any other examples that y'all might think of? Because you need to think of these as scenarios ahead of time, so that you know how to respond to them biblically. Because what happens if you're not able to respond to situations like that biblically? What usually happens? You rant and rave because there's no hot water. Instead of positively dealing with this, when would be a good time to handle this? Well, you know, you deal with it in family worship. Hey, I've been noticing there's a problem here. five kids, we're consuming a lot of time in the bathroom, right? We can waste a day just in that area. So, why don't we come up with some more, and help them understand, this is why we need to become more efficient in these areas, because we're squandering time. We're not thinking of others, okay? Alright, any other examples you guys might have that, you know, I wouldn't think it would happen in your house, but any ideas, any examples of that? So, We're going to start dealing with this as we go further in our study. We're going to start thinking about that. So this scenario starts to look a lot different when you start looking at this. Take, for example, two kids arguing over a toy. When you start looking at them as two sinners that need to be dealt with, and we start thinking to them that both kids prefer themselves over another, this is violating some kingdom principles here. As a result, what they're doing is they're actually breaking God's law and just by simply saying, well whoever had it first and taking the toy and giving it to that person is not really dealing with the heart issue that's going on. If you can get this, then I think the discipline in your home takes on a whole new direction. It now makes the heart the issue and not just the behavior. Once again, I'm not sitting here teaching you don't deal with the behaviors. You've got to deal with it. You've got to discipline it. But don't stop there. Start working on the heart. And this is going to do wonders. When you start thinking like this, it's going to do wonders with your own walk with the Lord because you know you can't change the heart in and of yourself. You don't have the ability, the power to change the heart of your child. You need something else. You need the very omnipotence of God in your home. And so you've got to bring and use the tools that He has given you, which is found in His Word. And as you bring this approach into discipline, it's going to change your family worship. Can you now imagine how does family worship start looking? Instead of fathers, if you're just reading the Word of God and closing it, now you start taking the Word of God and you start becoming purposeful with it to deal with issues of the heart. You know, some of you guys are studying through books of the Bible. That's great. But there might be times where you have to deviate from a study of a book and start dealing with a text that addresses a sin issue that's going on within your house. But be able to know the Word of God well enough that you can do that. Okay? So it's going to change your family worship because family worship should be a time of positive discipline of the Word where you're exhorting, where you're encouraging your children. And also, this can be a place where you give them practical examples of application during that worship time. And once you focus changes in your disciplining process, you can now start working with the child to help him understand why his heart has strayed. And it's going to start pointing him. Do you see what happens? I mean, ultimately, do you see what happens when you start disciplining your children in this way? Where is it ultimately going to point your children? To Christ. That's the only place he can go. It would point him to a Savior that frees people who are enslaved to sin. It changes the nature. It changes the heart. And so you need to learn to be able to take your child and work him backwards from the sinful behavior to exposing the motivating issues of that sinful behavior. You must learn how to engage them and not just reprove them alone. Now, reproof is part of it. But what I'm saying is just for proof alone. And this is going to cause you to rethink how you handle yourself in your home. It's going to inform your methods. It's going to shape how you approach your children. It's going to change your devotion in your prayer time with God. Wouldn't it? It's not so hard to go to the Lord and pray if all you're doing is beating them. If all you're doing is disciplining them with the rod, that doesn't take a whole lot to go to the Lord over. but to now take their souls before the Lord and say, I don't know, show me from your word how I take this and discipline my children with the word of God. That's gonna cause you to go on your face, it's gonna humble you, and that's what you need anyway. Okay? So our desire during this study is we need to learn how to bring God's word to bear in the raising of our children, okay? Let's stop here and we'll pick up next week because I want to start dealing with some factors that influence your children. So you've got these children with these fallen natures, but there are certain things you may be doing in your home that aggravate the sin nature of your child. And so we're going to start talking about some of those factors within your home and what you might need to do to start changing some things within your home and start bringing some godly influences that will positively impact your children.