If you will, turn to Ephesians chapter 6 again. In Ephesians chapter 6, we just pick up the reading in verse 4, where we are reminded, "...and you fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." So we're going to continue our study of biblical training with respect to our children, and just by way of review, let me remind you of several things. There's no way we can discuss this and not be central within the Scriptures. And once again, I hope you begin to see throughout our studies that to be ignorant of the Word of God and to properly train your children, I hope you see that you're presuming upon the grace of God to just come in and take over. But God has called us as parents to know His Word, that we minister the Word to ourselves, so that we might learn to minister to our children. So I'm going to remind you of these questions. Since we've started this study series, how well do you know the Scriptures? How often do you refer to the Scriptures in the course of a normal conversation with your children? Now put that in light of what Deuteronomy chapter 6 would teach us. How adept are you at teaching and relating the Scriptures to your children in everyday life? What was the picture of Deuteronomy 6? When you lie down, when you're up, when you're walking. I mean, when you're sitting at the table, that's the picture. The idea here is that the training and discipline doesn't take place on Monday morning or Wednesday evening or on Sundays only. The idea is that the whole life should be about the training and discipline, looking for opportunities. See, we like to try to divide maybe the school work, the math and the history and all these different subjects that we teach, and so those are separate. That's still part of the discipline. That's still part of the training. How effectively do you use the Scriptures to reprove? And when we talk about reprove, we talk about convict your children of their sins. Remember, also we're talking about positive discipline and negative discipline. Positive discipline should be predominant within your relationship between you and your children. Unfortunately, most parents, including ourselves, we let our guard down and what happens is we wait for the external, you know, we see the external rebellion taking place, but we've been missing the cues of rebellion that have been there all along, and we're not ministering the Word of God to deal with that rebellion. Do you reprove in such a way that causes your children to revere God's Word or to hate it? How consistently do you use the Bible when you correct them? How do you use the Bible to train your children in righteousness to help them to do better in the future? So, in our introduction, we saw that the Scriptures are going to be central to our teaching here. We also talked about, just by way of review, that we do have an authority when it comes to the Word of God. I'm going to continue to remind you The Word of God is not just a blueprint for how to live your Christian life. It's not just a blueprint for how we build the church, but it's a blueprint for how you build your homes, how we build a society, how you dare to conduct yourself at work, for example. So we do have an authority. So we emphasize the authority and the sufficiency of the Scriptures. The Scriptures are authoritative, but they're also sufficient to deal with this issue of raising our children up. So there's not really any use to venture too far away from the Scriptures to get advice on how to raise our children. Everything we need to know. Everything that we need to know with respect to life and godliness is found within God's Word. And then we looked in 2 Timothy 3, 16 where we saw the forefront use of God's Word. It is profitable. Remember that? It is profitable for these four different elements that we've been talking about. So, once again, I hope you see that we're going to continue to emphasize the Word of God all throughout this study. And so, You need to learn it. The Bible has also called us to be authorities. It has delegated authority to us to raise our children. This is why when we start delegating our authority over to the church or delegating the authority over to the civil realm, we've neglected our duty and responsibility. Now, a lot of homeschool families, they're good about not letting the civil government raise their family, but then what do they do? They take them to churches where the church then becomes the father and mother and begins to train them in righteousness. And it's a failed model. It's a broken model because it's not biblical. It's not grounded in the Word of God. And we haven't seen blessings from this new model, but actually what we've seen is the curses upon our children. Any church that actually assist a father to be derelict in his responsibility is not in alignment with God's Word. The church should be about the business of preparing the fathers to do the work of the ministry and that first ministry within their home. Once again, I use that word ministry not in the sense that there are the professionals and then there's everybody else. We're all, if you're a call by Christ, in the ministry. You to be ministering His Word to you and to those around you. We also looked at how parenting is defined in society. If you boil down parenting into just making provisions for your family, you've missed what the Bible has said. It's more than just giving them food and shelter and clothing. That's part of it. but you're to be training and disciplining the hearts and the souls of those that are within your home. And so when we talked about this responsibility, we likened it to being a shepherd. You protect them, not just physically, but spiritually from the things that would seek to destroy their souls. So there's a huge responsibility put on parents and with this idea of being a shepherd to their souls, we argue that you must be humble and that there's no place for anger in this. When you're shepherding the soul of your child, we've got to quit reacting out in anger towards them. There's really no role for that. There's no place for that. Go over to James chapter 1. Do you remember what James says about this? You know, we like to give our kids sections of scriptures to memorize, but maybe as adults we ought to memorize this one. In James 1.19, So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. Why? For the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. We need to remind ourselves of this. My concern is that when we lash out in anger and we try to use our anger to make the child conform, what we're teaching them is to have a fear of you and not a fear of God. And so we want to teach our children the fear of God. That's the beginning of wisdom. That's what Proverbs teaches us. We looked also at the condition, the nature, the fallen state of our children. And so we're going to be dealing a little bit more with this tonight as we think about two influences that are some things that influence our children. But when we talk about the fallen nature of our children, the fact that they have stony hearts, they're dead in their sins and trespasses as Ephesians would say. We need something more than our own intuition. We need something more than our humanistic understanding and knowledge to convert that heart. So this is why it's so important for you to bring the only weapon really God has given you to do something, to do battle with your child's soul, which is the sword of the Spirit. It is the Word of God. So once again, think about how you're training and disciplining. Do you understand? I think most of you guys in here understand what Deuteronomy chapter 6 is saying. The question is, how do we apply it? When do we apply it? And so we need to be more proactive. We need to think ahead. I think this is a challenge when we get ourselves so busy that we can't plan for the next five minutes, much less, let's think about a month-long vision for what we need to be working on in our children. So maybe there's some time where husbands and wives, maybe we need to spend more time together and say, okay, we've got these issues of attitude, these issues of deceit, these issues of just all-out disobedience that's going on. And so maybe your children are not yet out there knocking over liquor stores. But where are they? How do you gauge their souls? This evening what I want to talk about is I want you to start thinking about what goes on in your home. I want to deal with things that influence your child and I'm going to talk a little bit about this and then I'm going to transition over to something else. So we talked about the fact that our children have sinful natures, right? But what I want you to understand that there are actually things that can influence or aggravate your child's sin nature. There may be things you're doing in your home. There may be things you're letting influence your children that are aggravating that sin nature that we need to consider. The Bible's clear that we need to acknowledge those things that are going to impact our children. So let's go back. We've seen Ephesians chapter 6. Go to Colossians 3. I'm just going to read passages again. We've already been through these passages. I just want to remind you of where they are so you can find them because these really teach us our responsibility. But in Colossians 3, look at verse 21. Fathers, do not provoke your children. Why? Lest they become discouraged. Go over to Deuteronomy chapter 6 again. Let's look at that one. In Deuteronomy chapter 6, just pick up the reading of verse 4. Here, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and as they shall be as frontlets between your eyes, you shall write them on the doorpost of your house and on your gates." I mean, so when you look at a passage like that, when shouldn't you be talking about God and training your children? When shouldn't you be instructing them? See, these texts presuppose that you have a consistent adherence to the commands that are going to have a lifelong impact on your children. And so the Scriptures are not silent with respect to your responsibilities. So pay attention to those things that influence your children. So let's think through this for a moment, right? What are some things that influence your children? Alright, well let me just get you going. How about friends? What else? So music. Music can influence. What else? Media, alright. Huh? Us? Parents? Alright, so parents. Well, so your church. Under this, and I'll put your values. I mean, you know, the idea of what you value, right? Some people in their home, they value their stuff more than they do their children, and it comes out in the way they conduct themselves within their home, right? Let me give you an idea. What would be more offensive in your home, or think about other homes, if you broke some expensive piece of furniture, or if your child lied? What would get the biggest reaction out of you? That's what I'm trying to get you to think through. These are things that are going to influence your children, whether you like to admit it or not, and they're going to say, well, you value stuff, but I can sin, and I don't seem to get a reaction out of you unless I embarrass you in public. Okay, so let's think about this. Somebody else said something. I missed it. I'm sorry. Scripture? Alright. Alright. How about things like your family structure, entertainment? Let's see what else do I have on here. Oh, what about in your home, right? How you resolve conflict? So, I mean, that will have an influence on your children. I mean, you see, there's a lot of things that influence your children. So let's talk about friends for a second. Don't ever underestimate this one. Remember what 1 Corinthians 15.33 tells us. Bad company corrupts what? Good character, right? Don't be deceived. Evil company always corrupts good habits. You know, there are those who think, well, we'll just be a positive influence. And what we'll do is we'll let these out-of-control kids, and we'll see if our kids can have an influence on them. Well, where are you in this? Rest assured, when children pull your children away, if your children has friends where they're constantly trying to pull your children away from you and your family and the parents, You need to cut that kind of relationship off because there's nothing good going on there. There's no reason why your household shouldn't be one where the children, whatever it is they're doing, can't be done in the open in front of you, right? And there shouldn't be this idea of, we're not going to relate to them because they're young. Remember, when should you be training and disciplining them according to Deuteronomy The best way to have an influence on someone outside of your family is to let them see how you discipline your children in front of them. And once again, we're not talking about negative discipline. We're talking about positive discipline. You need to make sure that friendships are directed toward the pursuit of holiness, not silliness. And I'm not opposed to a good time. But the whole entire bent of a relationship between your children and their friends can't always be revolving around just silliness. Where would you find that? Where do, in the scriptures, do you find that model? I mean, and I'm not trying to be a knothead about it. I'm seriously asking the question. What we see go on today with our children and our culture, where is that ever modeled out in the scriptures? Where is it ever modeled out that they completely separate themselves from the adults? Remember, it's our job to train them, and if you're not training them, who is? When it comes to friends, I don't have to tell you this. You young ones, you answer the question. What kind of friends should you be surrounding yourself with? Yeah. And if someone's not encouraging you in your walk and they're encouraging you to disobey your parents, they're encouraging you to sin, to do sneaky things, kind of walk the very edge. Remember, the path for the believer is narrow, right? The idea between you, if you're a believer, is not to see how close to the edge of a narrow path you can walk. And you don't want friends that are going to push you that way. You want friends that encourage you to stay in the Word. You want friends that encourage you to seek and pursue after holiness, to be about things that advance Christ's kingdom. Let me ask you this, as you're sitting there thinking, does that sound like I'm asking too much? Do you think that that's a request that goes beyond the limits of the Scriptures? Well, let's do a case study. Let's look around in culture. Let's go ahead and look at those, because now we're about, what, five generations of youths who have abandoned God's, or really it's not the youth, it's the parents that have abandoned God's principles, and so they've allowed their youths to separate and to go down this pathway that we're used to seeing. What has been the result? Name me one area of life and culture that it hasn't impacted, that just 120 years ago we would have never seen in this country. Don't ever underestimate these principles and the influences that they can have on your family and your children. What about entertainment? We tend to think at times it can be neutral, but don't underestimate the influence of the entertainment that you have and you bring into your home that will have an impact on them. If you're accustomed to bringing in entertainment that goes against what you say you believe, that's going to have an influence on your children. How about the family structure? What do you think happens when the biblical order of the man and woman relationship within the scripture gets distorted or perverted? What happens if the man is no longer the head and the woman becomes the head within a family? What influence do you think that'll have on your children? Think about the family structures where maybe there's a husband and a father there, but he's absent. What do you think happens? What do you think the kind of influence would that have? What about family values? The things that you fathers and mothers will value, whatever it is you're valuing that's going to impact your children. If you value the spiritual disciplines, typically your children will as well. But, for example, if you're looking for ways to skip out on church, miss church, if you're looking for reasons not to read the Bible, if you're looking for reasons not to pray, don't ever underestimate that's not going to have an impact on your children. If your life is always about making excuses why you can't obey God in a given area, then you should expect to see the consequences of this in the life of your children. If life is organized around knowing God and loving Him, you think that's going to have an impact on your children? If the father has a low view of the mother, don't you think that's going to impact the son? You think it's going to impact the daughter? If they see a humble father who attempts to love his wife as Christ loved the church, then that's going to have a huge impact as well on the children. I mean, the examples I'm giving you here about what you value and the structure of your family, I mean, they're limitless, right? The question is, when you look at the values within your home, are they brought under the dominion of Christ? One writer put it this way, see to it that no one takes you captive through hollow, and deceptive philosophy which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ." And that's straight from Colossians 2.8. The question you must ask is this, are the values of your home based on human traditions and the basic principles of this world or on Christ? Some fathers, because they don't know God's Word, they don't even know where to begin. Others, because you've got your life so consumed with so many other things, you don't start. You wear yourself out with different things, and your family ends up getting not the best of you, but they're way down on the priority list. Let's talk about another one. What about conflict resolution? And this one really can impact children. How do you dissolve conflicts within your home? Through outbursts of anger? Through ignoring the problem? Or do you try to seek the problems biblically? Do you seek forgiveness quickly? Do your children see this? Do they see you making excuses when you've wronged father, mother, right? You ever notice, does your child ever storm out when he doesn't get his way? Where do you think he learns this from? Has he ever seen that modeled in front of him? I mean, there's others we can consider, but I hope you get the point. You want to bring godly factors into your home to influence your children. And see, those godly factors are all the things that God's Word had actually caused you to do. Now, let me address a myth. When you apply these godly influences within your home, I don't want you to buy into this myth that all of a sudden everything is going to get easy and child-rearing produces positive fruit 100% of the time. And remember how we started this study. We do these things that I'm talking about first and foremost because this is what God has commanded and it brings Him glory when you do it. The results are secondary. And we use the example of Noah, right? Noah did what God called him to do, but his would be a ministry that most churches wouldn't fund, right? He only got eight people on the boat. Noah wasn't doing it for the results, he was doing it because God commanded him to. So I want you to start with that in mind, because here's the problem. Remember, we are number one responsible to do what God tells us to do, but it's up to God to change the heart of your children. Here's the words from an author. He said it this way. I have a friend who is a potter. He told me that he can only create the type of pot the clay he is working with will allow him to create. The clay is not merely passive in his hands. The clay responds to him. Some clay is elastic and supple. Some clay is crumbly and hard to work with. And his observations provides a good analogy. You must be concerned with providing the most stable influences, but you may never suppose that you are molding a passive clay. The clay responds to the shaping. It either accepts or rejects the molding. Children are never passive receivers of shaping. Rather, they are active responders. Your son and daughter responds according to the focus of his life, whether or not his heart is towards God or not. If your child knows and loves God, if your child has embraced the fact that knowing God can enable him to know peace in any circumstance, then he will respond constructively to your influence. If your child does not know and love God, but tries to satisfy his soul's thirst by drinking from a cistern that cannot hold water, your child may rebel against your best efforts. You must do all that God has called you to do, but the outcome is more complex than whether you have done all the right things in the right way. Your children are responsible for the way they respond to your parenting. So the first thing I want you to understand tonight is that it's your responsibility to make sure you have influences within your home that doesn't aggravate the sin nature of your child. But that's not the rest of the whole story. The next section is important. Because what happens when you do everything you can to correct all these influences within your home, but yet you see the child rebel? You first need to make sure that the influences in your child's life and those things you found within your home, they're godly because God commands you to do this. It will bring him honor. But understand that your child's responses to these influences is determined by his response to God. Go over to Proverbs 7. I'm sorry, Proverbs chapter 9. In Proverbs 9, we'll pick up the reading in verse 7. He who corrects a scoffer gets shame for himself, and he who rebukes a wicked man only harms himself. Do not correct a scoffer lest he hate you. Rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man and he will still be wiser. Teach a just man and he will increase in learning. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of the wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. Now this proverb contrasts the mocker and the wise man's response to a rebuke and to instruction. But notice what verse 10 teaches us. It's very instructive. Notice the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. And so this helps us understand how a child will respond. Will he respond as a mocker or as a wise man? You see, it's the fear of the Lord or the fear of God that makes one wise. And it's this wisdom that determines how this child is going to respond to those influences that he finds in his home. This is also going to dictate how he responds to your correction, your instruction. And here's the thing you need to understand. Since we are created in the image of God, we have a disposition to worship. The question is, who does the child worship? It's not if he's worshipping, if she's worshipping, but is she or he worshipping God or idols? And keep in mind, your child is never neutral. You need to understand that. They're either obeying God's truth or they're suppressing it. So, when you think about your child, all of you have multiple children. You're going to have to think through every one of them. How do you know which one they're worshipping? And to answer this question, you have to know whether your child is serving and wanting to know God better. And here's the point. Don't be deceived by simply looking at the fact that maybe they clean up well. I look across the landscape here. You clean up pretty good, right? But here's the question. Are they actively pursuing God and seeking to serve Him? How does your child respond to instruction and reproof? Do they disobey you? If they disobey you, that's a pretty good warning sign that there's something going on, right? That's certainly an indication. But here's another one. Do they obey you? But do they do it without rolling their eyes, grumbling, and complaining? You see, maybe many of you have a false security about your children because they'll do what you say, but you're not picking up on the cues of rolling the eyes, mumbling, and complaining. These are all warning signs that the heart is not right. They're only doing it for other selfish reasons, to get you off their back. Maybe they're bigger than you. Maybe they fear your rod and so they don't want to deal with that. And so they're going to do what you ask them to do, but because they do it with such a horrible attitude, it's a reflection of what's going on within their heart. If they're doing things because you're just bigger than them, that's not the same as doing it because they fear God and they respond as a demonstration of their wisdom by doing it with all joy. And my point here is that some of you have been deceived into thinking everything is okay with your child because they obey you. But you need to learn to start discerning the attitudes, the looks, how they interact with one another. Fathers, how they interact with the mother. Do they respect you but disrespect her? This becomes a problem, particularly with the young men as they get older in their teenage years, right? It's a real challenge. Well, since the heart is not neutral, your job is to begin to determine the state of your child's heart. If you've got young children, this is pretty easy because we know that their heart is hardened, we've already been through all this, the nature of their heart. However, for those of you who have older children that have become a little bit more sophisticated in their deception, then your job's a little bit more difficult. And understand this, that an unregenerate heart is always bent towards idolatry. Now why is this important? Because if they're unregenerate, they are always concocting idols that will allow them to do their sin as though there's no recourse for it. And keep in mind, when the Bible talks about idols, it's not always in the context of these little statues that you bow down to. When the Bible describes idols, it can be things such as the fear of man, evil desires, lust, pride. Any idol that would encourage you to conform to the world, being earthly-minded, setting your affections on things below, this is all an indicator of what's going on with the heart of your child. So as a parent, what you need to learn are several things. Number one, what motivates your child? As you think through each one of your kids that are in your family, what motivates them? What desires does your children have? What do they want, and what governs what they want? What are their goals? What are their expectations? What are the expectations that rule their heart? Is it God-focused? Is it God-centered? Is it Christ-centered in their life? Or is it about satisfying the desires of the flesh, whatever it may be at that time? I want what I want, and I want it right now. And I'm not going to be content until I get it. And I may make everybody around me miserable. Or, I might be a little bit more subtle in my sinning and I'm just going to deceive and lie and connive until I get caught. And then I'm going to act like I'm remorseful for it. Don't fall into that trap either. Your children, particularly the older they get, they get a little bit more subtle. They learn how to read you and what it takes to get you off their back. But what we need to continue to do is bring God's Word to bear in their lives and remind them that when you sin, you're sinning because you have the heart of a sinner. And we need to be going to something that is stronger than I can bring you. I need something to help remove the burden of sin. Remember what Paul says, we're all under the weight of sin until the strong man comes and removes it off of you. Until you are no longer under the dominion of sin, but under the dominion of Christ, you're going to continue to behave this way. So when your children, when they interact with you, when they interact with their siblings and others, they're revealing who they're allegiant to. So you have to watch them. You have to pay attention to what's going on, how they interact with one another. And within those interactions, they're going to reveal to you either they know, love, and serve Jehovah, or they respond as children of foolishness and unbelief who do not know God and do not serve Him. And the point of all this is that as parents, you're not just here to make sure they have good influences, even though this is what God has commanded you to do. That's part of it. You need to make sure your child understands that they are interacting with the living God. They're either worshiping Him and they're either serving Him and trying to know and grow in their understanding of God, or they're just trying to coast through life without a relationship with God. And your job is to assess where your child is and begin to take the Word of God and point them in the right direction. Help them understand why this would be unacceptable. Help them understand why they are like this, why they are the way they are, so that they can go to the one who actually helps them. Don't give them a false security that just because they don't embarrass you in public, and they come across, you know, dressed up well and obedient when they're with you in public, but in the home, they're very rebellious. Don't give them a false security as though everything's alright. That's the sign of a wicked heart. And the more deceptive they become only magnifies how wicked the heart is. You need to help your child understand that they are a worshiper. Even if he is a fool who says that in his heart there is no God, he doesn't cease to be a worshiper. He simply worships something that's not his creator. Our task is to shepherd our children as creatures who worship and point them to the one who alone is worthy to be worshipped. But I hope you're starting to put some of these pieces together. Because your role as a parent is not to just do the best job you can to put these influences that we talked about, getting all that straight. That's part of it. But that's not the end of your job. Because how your children respond to all these godly influences is really dependent on their heart, whether they have a rebellious heart or one that is receptive to the things of God. I mean, this is why Proverbs 4.23 says, keep your heart with all diligence, children. Why would Solomon say this? Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life. And as a parent, you cannot only be concerned with the external influences within your home, you must shepherd this heart. And so this requires that you stay in the presence of God and stay in prayer with Him for those children and have the ability to bring God's Word to bear in their lives. And this is why it's so important for you to learn God's Word and first minister it to yourself and then you can minister to them. Parents, let me help you understand it this way. If you are struggling to take the Word of God and minister to your own soul, how will you ever do it for theirs? You first have to start there. You need to learn if you struggle with sin, how do you react to it? How do you respond to it? How do you take the Word of God and minister to yourself? How do you preach the gospel to yourself? You say, well, I'm a believer. Why would I ever preach the gospel to myself? because you know who you are. You know your heart. You know that you are prone to wonder. There are certain things within your life that you're prone to do, and you preach the gospel to yourself. You go to the door today, Father, I have a disposition to outbursts of anger. Help me. Have mercy on me. And you watch what God does in your life. And then you're able to help your children who have outbursts of anger. If you struggle with lying yourself, you know, you think of whatever it is you're struggling with, You preach the gospel to yourself. You go before the Lord to help you in those areas. Then you take the Word of God, minister to it yourself. You meditate on His Word, and then you can help them. So, the other thing you need to understand is when it comes to the souls of your children, you need to see it as a battle. You're in the fight of your life. In the words of one, parents engage in hand-to-hand combat with the world's smallest battlefield, the child's heart. You think through what God's Word has to say about spiritual warfare, the nature of spiritual warfare. What is the only offensive weapon that God gives you to do battle? The Word. The Word of God. You want to provide a stable home structure, one that does not aggravate the sin nature of your children. You want quality relationships that reflect the grace of God. You want to have a home where the punishment is equitable to the disobedience. You want to control the things that influence your children, but understand that's not the end all. Remember, your child will respond to these influences based on the nature of his heart. And keep in mind that the heart of your child determines how he responds, so don't ever conclude that disobedience is is simply... Also, here's another misnomer. Disobedience is never just tied to maturity. And here's why. Selfishness, for example, is never outgrown. Rebellion against authority is never outgrown. It has nothing to do with maturity. A three-year-old who continues to rebel against authority, a three-year-old who is selfish, but is never dealt with, becomes a 20-year-old, becomes a 30-year-old, because a 50-year-old. Alright, let me give you a biblical case study. I want to give you a biblical example of how influences are not the final determiner of how your child will turn out. I want you to think of Joseph for just a moment. Think about his experience. He didn't really grow up in an ideal home in a high ideal situation, did he? His mother died when he was young. He was his father's favorite. He had visions from God that infuriated his brothers to hatred. He was alienated from his brothers because of a gift of a coat that his father gave him. He was thrown into a pit. He was sold to slave traders. He was double-crossed by his master's wife. He was in prison. He was forsaken while in prison. I mean, when you look at the life of Joseph, if life is just dictated by the influences, right, you would think, well, this would be a man that would be bitter, cynical, resentful, angry. If we're just the results of influences in our lives, then this is what we'd expect with Joseph. But what do we find with Joseph? With Joseph, we find a man who feared God and learned to serve Him no matter what the circumstances are. And when he had the chance to show retribution to his brothers in the sense that he could have really gotten them back, he's the second in authority, right? What does he do? He shows them mercy. How do you explain this? Well, he's a recipient of God's grace. And in the midst of all the difficult situations, Joseph manifested that he feared God. My point in bringing you this is to encourage some of you not to despair. Some of our homes are not what they ought to be. But I don't want you to despair over this. God's grace is truly greater than our sin. If you're here this evening and you realize that your home is not established on biblical principles, then repent. But don't lose hope. God can salvage your situation. And for those of you who think that you have all the right influences within your home, you still need to be dependent upon God's grace and pray that He would give your child the grace to respond in wisdom that would result in a fear, a true fear of God, a reverence for God and to His Word. Let me give you one more example to think about. Let's say, and I got this one, I was looking through some books and trying to find examples to get you to chew on some practical things to think about. So let's say you have a child that's deceitful, that sneaks around behind your back, right? We can see this. Maybe some of you fathers, you were like this growing up, right? I know I was. I mean, listen, you young kids, you think you outsmart us old people, but you forget that we were even more clever than you. I knew what made my mother tick. I knew it would keep her off my back. And I played the game well. And she'd have told all her friends, he's a good boy. But everybody knew me. Everybody knew about me but my mom. So, here's the deal. What if you have a deceitful child that sneaks around behind your parents' back, the child lies even when it's not to their advantage? I mean, what do you think about children like this? I mean, eventually, I mean, they'll even do things to steal. I mean, how do you interpret what's going on? How would you interpret this child? Someone will say, oh, well, they're just immature and they'll grow out of it. Really? Left to themselves? Will they just grow out of it? But what leads to this kind of sinful behavior? When you have a deceptive child, for example, what is your response to it? What do you do about it? Well, let's just understand, number one, they don't wake up one day and just say, I think I'm just going to be very deceptive today. That's not how most people tick. So there are warning signs all the way through up to this point, right? So you certainly need to be disciplining them by bringing the Word. You need to be disciplining them if you find these things out. Certainly you need to be disciplining it. But how do you take the Word of God? I'm not going to give you the answers. I want you to start thinking about it. These are real-life examples, right? These are things that are more prone to happen because of the type of parental controls you put over your children. I don't see some of the other things that other parents are dealing with out there because of no parental controls. But this would be really things that you might have to deal with. You need to get them to see first that they're a sinner. And that they have the heart of a sinner. And that the child at this point, when you lie like this, you're an idolater. Why? Because you've concocted a God that allows you to behave in such a way without any recourse. The Bible's very clear about what God says concerning lying, right? And so this happens with children, I think, even within the best of homes. So how should you respond? And my point here is that when you look at this type of sinful behavior, right, is you can't just wait until you see the outward manifestation of disobedience to start the training process, to start the disciplining process. The disciplining process should hopefully take place well before the outward signs of rebellion are taking place. Now here's the thing, when you see the outward forms of rebellion in your mind, what is it, if you were to ask your children, what sins would actually provoke your parents to actually give you physical discipline? Would you bring the rod out for lying? You know, if you put the yes and the no, is this understood? And we're going to deal with this. because in a few weeks we're going to deal with the issue of the rod and the heart. And when you deal with the rod, one of the things you have to make sure, it needs to be very clearly laid out to your children what things they will do will actually bring the rod out. So if they lie, if they steal, if they hit another child, how about if they just disobey? Right? What actually makes you get up and go discipline? What level of sin has to take place for you to get proactive in these areas? I'm not looking for you to tell me right now. I just want you to think through it, because that says a lot about your home. And it says a lot about whether or not you're actually doing anything to shepherd the heart of your child. Well, let me bring this to a close. The point of our teaching this evening is that there are two issues I want you to think about that feed into what your child becomes. We see the influences and the nature of your heart of your child and how they respond to those influences. As parents, you need to make sure you control the things that influence your children. Are you doing things that provoke the sinful nature of your child? Are you allowing things into your home that will provoke the sinful nature of your child? And then also you need to make sure that you're actively shepherding the hearts of our children towards their Creator. And you need to be on your face before God and pray that He will work through your efforts to save them and give them a heart of flesh.