Life to the glory of God seems such a big topic, but actually is so very practical when we think about it on how our everyday lives are lived in the choices we make moment by moment, and communication is one of those areas where we can always grow, we can always change to be like our wonderful Savior. As we have been looking at this topic over the last several weeks, We will have a couple week break, and then we'll come back and finish it up, and then we'll move on to another aspect of life to the glory of God. But we've been kind of working through a number of thoughts, and by way of review, I want to just kind of walk through those. God has a wonderful plan for our words that is far better than any plan we could come up with on our own. Sin has radically altered God's agenda for our words, resulting in much hurt, confusion, and chaos. And I'm sure even in a group this size, some folks experienced just that this week. You experienced words that were hurtful. and there were confusing words and maybe even chaos at some point in the different relationships that we have. But the good news is that in Christ, we find the grace that provides all that we need to speak as God intended us to speak, and the Bible teaches us how to get from where we were and where we are to where God wants us to be. And so there's great hope this evening as we talk about this subject of communication. It's been wonderful to hear how God has been using it. I had a mom come up today and express to me that she has been interacting differently with her son, and has been able to even apologize at times when that was necessary, and so thankful how The Lord is working in our lives. Conflict many times comes because of our words. Conflict really many times is a difference in opinion or purpose that frustrates someone's goals or desires. And we don't like conflict, but many times we see it in our lives in different places, and yet we have to know how to handle it, and we have to know how to handle it from a biblical perspective. As we looked at the kind of the responses to how sometimes words come across and relationships go, there are all kinds of ways that we can respond, and yet there are some specific ways that I would suggest that God wants us to respond, ways where God wants us to respond. There's the escape responses, which are not good things, where you have, you know, people who want to just kind of run away from the problem or not take it seriously or not deal with it, just kind of sweep it under the rug. And many times, even in families, you have siblings that have grown up, and for years and years and years and decades, things were just never dealt with, and things just kind of kind of get swept under the rug and there's problems there and there's always these tensions at family gatherings or things like that because the conflict was never dealt with properly. And then you have the opposite of that, the attack responses where many times we wanna go and we wanna solve the problem and we want to really take care of the issue and play a role that maybe we shouldn't necessarily play and in that many times it ends up and it can go the full spectrum. as James tells us, even to the point of murder. And we see that on a regular basis in our society. But the middle section there really are those peacemaking responses where perhaps we start with the idea of just letting love cover all the way to the end of full accountability, but in an appropriate way. And so God has given us the information that we need in order to handle conflict correctly. Now, whether we choose to take that information and apply it, or many times we're tempted to flight or to attack, but those ways never really go so well in the conflict. And so, we've looked at four scenarios. of peacemaking. We started with glorifying God, that's where we want the foundation to always be, and the primary motivation. And then we worked at really the humble approach to, as you're dealing with problems, to make sure that you're fully evaluating your own heart before you go to deal with conflict. And so there's this process of really evaluating, as Scripture uses the log in our own eye, and really deal with the issues of our own heart before we go to try to deal with issues in other people's lives. And we looked at ways that we can do that, and I just will quickly walk through those. When we talk about confession of sin, we want to make sure that we do it carefully and appropriately. We don't want to just flippantly try to solve our communication or conflict problems by just quick, things that really don't refeel a heart that says, you know, I've really evaluated my fault in this, and I really want to change, and I really want to grow. And so we need to address everyone who's involved. We need to avoid things like if, but, and maybe. Hopefully that in the last couple weeks, you've had opportunity to, I'm sure, at least, I kind of hope, not because you've sinned, but because there is sin, I hope that you have been confessing your sins to other people, and I hope that you've been doing it really carefully, and so you've kind of eliminated words like, if I offended you, or whatever situation, we could fill in the blank there, but we need to avoid those things and just humbly just admit specifically what God has shown us as far as the fault that is in our own heart. And yet many times it's so difficult, it's so hard to just be humble and admit. But if we would just do that, many times we would diffuse the conflict and really things could be resolved much, much faster than what they tend to be. Acknowledge the hurt that many times our words are hurtful. or our actions, and then as well accept the consequences, and many times there are consequences, and we don't like those. I try to encourage my kids all the time, your choices have consequences, and we don't get to pick those. But all of our choices do have significant consequences. and then really try to change, alter our behavior, choose to be different, and then specifically in the area of communication, if there are hurtful words that have been coming out of your mouth or a pattern that comes out of your mouth, then stop, be honest with yourself, look to the Lord for help, and change the behavior. Don't just accept that, well, this is how I am, this is how my father was, this is how I've just always done it, this is my ethnic background, and so therefore, I kind of have the right to do whatever. No offense, Robert. I've never heard him say that. Anyway, we have to be very, very careful that we don't use anything outside of our circumstances or anything to justify, really, our own sin. But we need to make the changes where possible. And then ask for genuine forgiveness. So, that's kind of where we left off last time. And I wanna move to, really, the third aspect of peacemaking is to gently restore. And if you take your Bibles and turn to Galatians chapter six, Galatians chapter six, I would like us to start here this evening, and we're gonna talk about confrontation. I hear people say from time to time, well, I just don't like to confront. Well, my response to that is you really don't have an option. If you're going to obey the scriptures, there's probably going to be time in your life when you have to speak truth into someone's life and confront them. And it doesn't matter, you know, what you, how you view conflict. People say, I just don't like conflict, and so I would never get involved in confrontation, because I don't want to have the conflict, and I don't want to have to deal with it. Well, that's just a flight response. Galatians 6 chapter one says, brethren, if anyone is caught in any trespass, that's kind of all-encompassing, right? If anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, each one looking to himself so that you too will not be tempted. And then it continues to bear one another's burdens. So confrontation really, I would suggest, is part of the Christian life. And as we interact and deal with others, you will see folks who are caught in a trespass. And so therefore, God can use us. And that's really how we have to view it. We have to view it as God can use me as an instrument of righteousness, a tool in someone else's life, if I will do it carefully, in the way that God designed it to be. But so many times, confrontation does not go that direction. Confrontation happens at points of anger and points when it's not very, very helpful. But sometimes the word confrontation itself has kind of a negative connotation for us. And I don't know what it kind of conjures up in your heart, but maybe it's like heated arguments or debates and things like that. But that's not necessarily what I'm speaking about here. I'm talking about when there has been a conflict and you have taken time to evaluate your own life and how God has really revealed your own sin in the situation, you have made appropriate amends for that, then there can be an appropriate time where a confrontation that is done with a spirit of gentleness can actually help the other party involved. Or it doesn't even necessarily have to be around that kind of conflict, it can be with our own children, or our coworkers, or our friends, or our family members, whoever it may be, that word anyone, if anyone is caught in any type of sin, then we should go to that point and help restore. But we are encouraged in other passage to warn, to admonish one another, Loving confrontation with truth is really the purpose. It's for the purpose of change. And we want to help each other grow. I think you want to help your kids grow. I think you want to help your spouse grow. You know, so many times in a counseling scenario, I will say to a couple, you know, it's okay to confront one another. And then sometimes there's a variety of responses, and many times, because of fear, a woman's like, oh, I could never confront my husband. Well, actually, that's not very biblical. And for years, down in Florida, we really tried to help women understand, because there were a number of counseling situations that we had to deal with, where the men were abusive at some point, and we really encouraged the women to speak truth into their husband's life. Now, that all has to be done appropriately, and I understand that. But if you have a home, and your wife cannot speak truth into your life, without you getting angry, men, that's a problem. That's a problem. Because Scripture, before, we love to kind of bring out the submit to your husbands. Before that, it says submit to one another. And I think in a healthy marriage relationship, there should be confrontation happening, because who better than the one who knows you the best and sees your life day in, day out, who better to speak truth in your life? And so many times it's with our spouses, our children, and then those relationships that we have into our lives. But some things to consider before confrontation. I would say often, many times confrontation, it's confused with personal irritation and anger. And the confusion is it's supposed to be with biblical perspectives and with biblical purposes in mind, but Many times it's just our own flesh that's the center of our thoughts when we're in a confrontation mode. And so within that marriage relationship, you need to be very, very careful as you speak into each other's lives. We want to have a biblical perspective, and we want to accomplish God's purposes as we confront one another. Sometimes there's poor data, that's been gathered that leads to incorrect assumptions about the facts? How many times have you gone into confrontation mode, and you can raise your hand, it's okay. How many times have you gone into confrontation mode, and you had the whole situation wrong? Like, you had wrong information, the facts were not clear, and you actually made some assumptions, and you got into the confrontation, and you're like, whoa, I think I'm wrong here. How many of you have had that experience? Yeah, and so there is this importance that we must be very, very careful before we confront, because we want to make sure that we're accomplishing God's purposes through it, and we want it to be healthy. I would say as well, our motives many times can be wrong. And so before we confront, we should be very, very careful that we are clear and we've taken time to evaluate our motives in working with our children. We have to just constantly be evaluating our heart. We want gospel fruit to come out of their heart, not just, we don't want them just to conform. Because they can conform now, but that doesn't mean long-term they're gonna love Jesus. And so we can confront them all day, and our motives can be, you know, we just want them, we want them to conform. I mean, I'll be very honest with you. I try to always be. But even this morning, my wife's down in Florida, and I saw my kids sitting in other places in the congregation that they typically wouldn't, and I'm looking at them, and I'm thinking, what are they doing over there? And in my mind, I'm like, they need to be listening. I want their attention right up here. And I had to sit here and think to myself, you know what? What is my motive? Yeah, I do want them to be hearing truth when it's being sung and things like that. But in that moment, I think I just wanted them to conform. Like I wanted to be able to look at them and them look picture perfect. Why? Because I don't want anyone to know that my children struggle. But that's my heart, and that's many times our hearts. When we deal with our children or those who are close to us, many times we just want them to change because it's better for us. And our motives aren't necessarily godly motives. And so it's this constant evaluation that we must look at our hearts and make sure we're doing it with the right spirit. Inflammatory language and condemning words, emotional tones, that's cut off back there. they often stain the confrontation, and that is so true. If you go in attack mode in confrontation, and you use all of these words that really tear down and hurt, it's not gonna go well, and it's not going to accomplish the things that God designed and desires as he has given us the opportunity to confront one another in our relationships. So, Number five, often adversarial rather than moments of loving concern for the person who needs your rebuke. And it's something that is difficult to constantly think about, especially in relationships that are close to us. and yet the love of Christ is what should be flowing from our hearts, and we need to think about the heart of the person that we're trying to restore, not get them just to conform. As far as definition, oh, I'm sorry, I got one more. I didn't have them all written in my notes here. Scripture is often used more as a club than a mirror of self-awareness and a guide to change. Scripture many times we can use as a club as opposed to just what God intended it to be, and that's a mirror of our hearts, and it reveals our flesh and where God wants us to change and then how we can change. Now, oh my goodness, I am so sorry. They just keep coming. Often confuses human expectation with God's will. And this goes back to motives as well. But so many times in our conflict, the expectation is not met. And it's really, we want them to obey the moral aspect of God's will. That's what we want for people, because that's what looks like Jesus. but it's our expectations of what we want them to be, how we want people to treat us, or what they look like, all of those things many times end up confusing the matter. Often demands that change can be immediate event rather than a process. How many times have we spoken words to folks and we want instantaneous change, and yet we don't do that in our own lives when God speaks to us. where we are quick to shape up and really make sure everything's, we're very patient with ourselves, but we're very impatient with the weaknesses of others. And so these are some things to consider before definition of confrontation, a loving exhortation with the truth for the purpose of change. A loving exhortation with the truth for the purpose of change. Some things to consider in regards to confrontation. I would say you must approach someone when they believe you have wronged them. So, that's put it on the side where you're potentially at fault. Even if they believe you're at fault and you don't, I still think it is important that you should approach that person and try to deal with it. If you're aware of it, you may not even be aware of it. You know, I've had situations in churches where there's conflict between individuals and you kind of weed through all the stuff, you boil it down and it's, well, this person didn't speak to me at church. Okay, maybe they didn't see you, or they had something else on their mind, and so, you know, there's grievances that a person can really hold onto that, you know what? you may not be at fault at all, but if you're aware of it, it's good to just go to that person and really try to make things right and express, you know, your, I did not mean to in any way miss an opportunity to say hello to you, or, you know, my mind was somewhere else. Again, not excusing sin, that's not what I'm talking about, but there are situations where, you know, you may not be at fault, but it's still good to go, and then there are those times when you are at fault and you must go. and you must make that right. I would say as well, you may approach someone when you believe they have wronged you. And why do I say may? Well, there's that response in peacemaking where we said that sometimes you can let love cover. And there are those occasions where you may, it may be the right opportunity, but it may be not the best time. And so you have to just with wisdom try to make that decision. But then as well, you may choose to overlook a wrong that is committed against you. So you may approach when you believe they have wronged you, you may choose not to. And so that's kind of like a framework as to how we can think through this idea of confrontation. Now, some things to consider as we confront, and these aren't up actually on the screen, but just is the situation dishonoring to God? Has it damaged your relationship? Is it hurting others? Things like that. Those are good questions. I think questions always help us. as we go through situations in life that help us evaluate what the next step should be. And so, let me just encourage you to always be asking yourself, and just try to really evaluate your heart with good questions. But as we as we look towards kind of a biblical model for confrontation And we're gonna take the word encourage and just walk down and and hopefully this will be a help to you So I would say number one and we've spoken to it already examine your heart confrontation always begins with you because we struggle with sin and We must begin with ourselves, and we have to make sure that we have dealt with our anger, our self-righteousness, and our bitterness, and really start with just a humble heart that has made, really, every effort to make sure that we're in a good place before we confront. I would say the second thing is, is note your calling. Confrontation is not based on your opinion. Truth is at stake. And that's why it's really important to be able to discern the issue that you're really going to the person concerning as far as the confrontation. Make sure that this really is an issue where truth is at stake, because that's the point. If anyone is caught in a trespass, restore them with the spirit of gentleness, and that restoration is you want to see truth lived out in their lives. We are called to speak to one another truth in a very loving way. Your goal is to get people to see God's view of their lives. So when you go to confront someone, you really want to come alongside and say, hey, God says this in his word, and this is how it's not showing up in your life. And so let me help you with that. And if you do it in the right spirit, if the person is a believer, then hopefully God will work in their life where they will accept that. I guarantee you they'll remember it. I'm sure we all could give illustrations and maybe if we have some time at the end, I would love to hear of situations where you have been confronted and it did not go well as far as the way they confronted you. It wasn't done as we are describing it. And then maybe a few examples of how it was done well and how you were able to respond to that. So I'd like to have some moments of conversation here at the end. But know your calling. It's truth that's at stake. Check your attitude. Some biblical attitudes that we need to make sure we are putting on. We are putting on kindness, right? Compassion, gentleness, patience, forbearance, compassion, Those are the kind of attitudes we want to go when we're speaking to another person about their sin, we need to go with these kinds of attitudes. If you don't go with the heart of Christ, which exemplifies all of these things, many times the confrontation will go well and it'll bring more damage than actually help to your life. Now God can use it all. God can use an angry person who is confronting you. God can use that in your life, but as far as the person who is doing the confrontation, it would be appropriate and right if we focused on the attitudes that are encouraged in scripture, where we're putting off the anger and we're putting on the kindness. Think about how you would want to be confronted. Think about how you'd like to be confronted. Hopefully you're being confronted by someone. You have someone in your life who's saying, you know what, you're not in a good spot and you need to look to Jesus. If you don't have that kind of relationship in your life at any point, that's pretty dangerous. And it's really not that healthy. There should always be, we should always have the kind of relationships where it's a close friend, or again, maybe a spouse, whoever it may be, but someone has the freedom to speak into your life. Because we all have blind spots. we tend to think we're better than what we are. We have blind spots. And sometimes it's that outside help that really is what God can use to help us continue to be like Jesus. But we need to, as we go, make sure we are thinking about the attitude that is coming out and being portrayed as the words come out of our mouth. I would suggest own your own fault. It's vital to enter moments of confrontation with a humble recognition of who we really are. It's helpful to say things like, you know what, I struggle with certain things. To own your own sin and to really communicate a heart of humility when you're talking to your kids, it's important that you show to them, you know what, you struggle in the same way that they do. It just looks different, perhaps. Maybe it doesn't. But there should be this humility when we're talking to others where we don't talk from above them, we actually talk beside them. And so many times it's a talking down in confrontation that really hardens a heart. as opposed to coming alongside and really portraying a heart of humility that will help the person because they can identify, oh, you struggle with that as well? And there's some understanding along those lines. I would suggest that we use our words wisely. So many times, I mean, this is a communication series, but we can get it so wrong in our confrontation. We must be very, very careful, and we need to ask God for help to carry out His message. Remember, note your calling. Know that it's truth that you want to communicate, and it's God's truth, and so we ask Him to help us use our words wisely. We pray for wisdom. Plan your words. Proverbs 12 verse 18 says, Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise, it brings healing. So we want to make sure in our communication, especially in confrontation, that we're very, very careful. The heart attitude is correct, and then what we say is so, really, so much according to scripture, and really it's the truth that we're communicating. I would say timing is involved. that with the wisdom, sometimes it's just not appropriate to confront in a moment of where there's perhaps extreme anger, or something is happening in this place. You know, you can realize that God is in control of a situation, and He can take care of it, and so sometimes I even tell couples, you know what, if you cannot resolve the conflict, take a break, go seek the Lord, and then come back and talk to each other. And it's amazing how many couples just, they live in constant conflict, and there's this ongoing, and it gets heightened. Sometimes at night, it gets heightened, and there's just, there's not wisdom in the conversation when things could go so much differently. if they were just, some wisdom would be applied to the situation. And when peace and a clarity of mind has been restored to the heart, then you go and you deal with the situation. But so many times, like we said, the timing is really, really poor. And maybe there's been a time in your life when someone came to confront you and it was just not the right time and place. And if someone had just thought through it a little bit better, perhaps it would accomplish a little different outcome. Reflect on Scripture. I would say the content of our confrontation must be biblical. We're supposed to, according to Ephesians 4, we're supposed to speak truth. We're supposed to make sure it's the Bible truth that we want to see implanted in someone's heart and life. We want them to understand it. And so we enter confrontation with a clear understanding of Scripture and what the Scripture says about the issues that are at hand. And we don't want to use the Bible as a club, take passages out of context, to say to people things that God never intended them to say, and we want to be very careful, but it must be the scripture that we use in our confrontation. I would say as well, we need to be prepared to listen. The best, most effective confrontation many times is interactive. It's not a lecture from someone. It's kind of a conversation, and we need to give the other person an opportunity to talk. Sometimes we need to give our kids an opportunity to talk, and we're in lecture mode, and we're gonna confront them. We're gonna solve all their problems, and we're gonna implant truth in their heart, and they're gonna get it. And we all know how well that goes. But so many times, we need to be prepared, even in the confrontation process, to listen. We can't look into the heart and read someone's mind, and so we need to engage in conversation, maybe ask questions as to how they're interpreting your words. and listen for things like repentance. Perhaps God's working in their heart, and God's helping them change in that moment, and you can be then the tool to take them from just the confrontation then to actually the restoration that God designs. Grant time for a response. We like immediate action, right? We want immediate change in behavior. and we want immediate change in attitudes. But so many times, it's really a process that God uses, and we need to give time for the Holy Spirit to work in people's lives. So you may go through this whole process and confront, and there may not be a point of change in that moment, and that's okay. You're focusing on what God wants you to do. But then you go from that point and you pray that the Lord will use it and accomplish His purposes, the truth will settle in and people will hear. But we need to give a little bit of time for people. And again, sometimes it is instantaneous, but when we look at sanctification, it's a process. Would you turn to 1 Thessalonians chapter five if you would? 1 Thessalonians chapter five. Verse 14. As far as philosophy of ministry, this is one I've been, you know, over 20 years ago when I kind of worked through this passage. This has been so helpful for me to just kind of discern as opportunity for ministry comes about and counseling cases. There's all different kinds of situations and Paul speaks of this in chapter five and verse 14. We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly Encourage the faint-hearted, help the weak, and be patient with everyone. And those three categories kind of help us understand where a person's heart can be, and even in time of confrontation, that sometimes it's an unruly person that we're trying to confront, and they're just not hearing it, and so you want to change them, and you forget God is the change agent, that God is the one who does that, and so sometimes you understand, okay, I have warned and I have admonished, and I'm gonna step away. But then sometimes it's different. It's that there's an encouragement needs to happen with the faint-hearted and then help the weak, that those who really sometimes can't stand. It's really, the idea is in a moral realm here where people cannot stand on their own, and so, Sometimes we're needed to come stand and hold them up. But that last phrase there, and be patient with everyone, that's the part where we don't like it. Because we want change, and we want it right now. And yet, that's not what happens in our own lives. We're very patient with ourselves, but we're very impatient with other people. And we need to recognize the point of the conferencation is to deliver truth and let God change the heart. So many times we wanna change people, and we want them to get it. And we're not gonna leave this conversation until they do. Not sure that that's the best approach. We need to grant time for the Holy Spirit. And so, the initial conversation, it may not get resolved. But don't give up. Maybe it's another conversation. If you do it well, maybe you can have another conversation about it. And if that doesn't work, maybe another conversation. It could be a very long process of change, but God can use us. He does use us. If we will take His word seriously, and we will really apply things like this in the principles that He gives to us, He can use us to help people grow and change. And the last part I would suggest and so important as we think about confrontation is, I don't know why that just went, that slide, there we go. We need to encourage people with the gospel. Encourage people with the gospel. And it's God's grace that allows any of us to change. but we need to give gospel hope to those people who we're trying to confront. You've spent so much time helping them see, you've evaluated your own heart, you've tried to be very, very careful, you've pointed out the wrong. Now give them hope. In counseling conversations, many of you enjoy counseling or you have many opportunities to do that. Give people hope of change. If we don't believe the gospel can change people, then we're all a mess. And so as we go through the conversation, encourage your kids in the gospel. The gospel can help them change. Your spouses. The gospel can help them change. You're co-workers. And there is a distinction, I think, in how we deal with things with unbelievers, because they're not going to understand truth. You may want to speak truth into their lives, but they may not necessarily understand. So you can confront in a way, and I think there's an appropriate time and place to do that. But I'm talking specifically more towards believers here, and we need to let people know that they can change because the gospel does what to our hearts? Well, it frees us from ourselves. It frees us from our sins, so we're no longer bound to the sins. So the confronting that you're doing and the truth that you're trying to really help them understand so that they change their behavior is grounded in the fact that the gospel frees them from that behavior, and they really can grow to be like Christ. There's hope. The power of the Holy Spirit lives inside of us, and so we all can change. It's the kindness of the Lord that leads people to repentance, and it's God's kindness, and we need to communicate that in the confrontation. God is being kind to you in pointing out this area of your life. And so, many times it means that we need to put our clubs down and approach people with grace, the grace of the gospel. And so, I'd like you just to kind of think, critique the last time someone confronted you, okay? If you can, just in your mind, remember the last time that someone confronted you, and did it look anything like this model? Or did it look very, very different? I wanna as well ask you, where have you avoided confrontation, where there are people in your life that you know you probably should speak into the situation, but you've chosen not to do it because of an excuse, like, well, I don't really, I'm not a confrontational person. I hear that a lot. I'm not a confrontational person. Well, I think you should be in a good way, in a biblical way. I think that's important for all of us if we're gonna have healthy relationships. So as we close this evening, would anyone be willing to just share a time where perhaps you were confronted, and you were confronted in a way that really does not reflect this model or the scriptures, and it didn't go so well? Or a time when you were confronted, and it was done in grace, and you could just share with the group, anyone willing to say that? And we're kinda all gonna just accept the fact that We need to be confronted, and so telling your story does not make you unique, all right? We all need confrontation. Is there anyone who would say I would be willing to share tonight? We have a couple microphones here. Oh, you're the microphone guy. I thought you were coming down to talk. You got a story? Anyone at all? Confrontation that did not go well, or a confrontation that did. Over here. Yeah, I'm Dustin. Well, it's kind of a confrontation that hasn't happened yet, so I don't know if it's going to go well or not, but at my job I work hand-in-hand with another guy, and I kind of feel like he's not pulling his weight, I guess. I feel like I'm doing a majority of the job, and I've really been avoiding it because I don't want to be that guy that calls somebody out, and I'm on the the aspect where nothing's really changing and I'm starting to harden my own heart towards it. I can feel not wanting to get close to this guy or really, you know, have any kind of conversation with him because of it, so this is definitely going to help me when it comes to time to talk about it, so. Good, good. Praise the Lord. Who would be next? Right behind. Well, I don't go to this church, but I love that list. Yet. But I would like to... I'm trying to recruit him. One thing that, and I'll be honest, my wife has encouraged me over the years, if I could add to that list, which is an excellent list, is... When I know I need to confront someone, I go through that list. But I also pray and just ask God to prepare my heart, but also to prepare that person's heart that I need to confront. And I think that's important if we really bring it to the Lord in prayer. And again, pray for the right attitude on my part, humble heart. in mind, and then again, like I said, pray for that person that God would prepare their heart to be accepting of that. Yeah, that's good. By the way, he's not local. I'm not recruiting him from another church locally. He's from Miami, so. Who'd be next? Confrontation over here. So I actually wasn't really able to think of a time. I know I've been confronted before, and I'm sure it's gone both ways. But I am reading this list and realizing how how short of glorifying God I'm falling and confronting my kids. And I think a lot of it's because I just grow weary of having to deal with the same things from day to day. And I know I very often don't confront them correctly, and I see that glaze go over their eyes, and I know nothing's happening. every now and then I do come in the right spirit and I see a difference in the way they hear me and the way they respond and very often I have them come back to me later and ask forgiveness or write a little note and leave it on my desk or whatever and It's just making me think I need to write this out this week, and I need to be reading through it step by step. I'll probably have it memorized by the end of day two. So this has been very convicting for me. Someone else. My kids get really nervous when I do this, because I think I'm going to tell on them, but this is about me. When I was a senior in high school, I had a friend that wasn't a very good friend for me, and I had a Christian English teacher. And I would kinda just go to her room sometimes after school and talk to her. And she just said to me one day, she said, about this friend, she said, what does this friend do for you that helps you grow closer to God? And she just started asking me questions that would make me think about my relationship with God. And then she, at the end, said, you know, I'm just really concerned that this person might tarnish your reputation for Christ. And that was all she said. And she was just, she said to me, if you ever wanna talk, you know, my door is open, you can come and talk to me. And I went home and I really, really thought about this person in my life. And just from the questions that she asked, and I'm sure she prayed about it too, God really convicted me about that relationship, and I ended up just, you know, distancing myself from that. But it was just asking questions, and she was just talking to me like she was my mom, because she really cared about me. So, that's good. How many of you remember as a young person someone who confronted you in your life? So those probably either went really well or didn't go so well. And you probably remember the difference. And we have a host of young people in our congregation, in our church family, and another large group of younger kids that are growing up. And they need to be confronted. They do. But we need to do it in a way that honors God. And so many times we get our clubs out as adults and we want to, you know, kind of beat them into shape. And really we need to be very, very careful that, what a great example, years later, that a teacher had that kind of an impact and she remembered it clearly because it was done, it was done well. It glorified God through the process. Other comments? Shortly after I got saved, my old pastor's wife in Brooklyn was giving me a Bible study. And my language wasn't too good back then. I mean, if you could believe that. No, not at all. Well, one time, I don't know what I said. I said something that I probably can't repeat here. And she just gave me a verse. And I don't remember it word for word, but it was about a beautiful woman without discretion is like a swine with a golden ring. How can I argue with that? You took it well. That's great. Another comment or two? Anything? Yes. And then Madeline in the back. Go ahead, Rob. I just wanted to add to that, that whenever she did that in the future, the kindness of this person just went like this. She pointed to the nose. She did, really. And I almost had to stop. OK, so I'm a teacher, and I work with a lot of other women. And so there's gossip, and there's just a lot of things that people say behind each other's backs. And so there's been a lot of times where there should have been confrontation, or there should not have been confrontation, and things have been said that shouldn't or that should have. And so it's been hard to kind of find a balance in a situation like that. And so this has just been really helpful going forward to choose my words wisely and really think about what I'm going to say and say things when I should or not say things when I shouldn't. Yeah, that's good. An environment, in a secular environment, I mean, the way that a confrontation is handled, I mean, that has huge gospel ramifications. And if you're known as the person who is the peacemaker, who can handle a situation of conflict in a way that honors God, it really does, and it can give you an open door and an open window to then speak the gospel truth, right over here. You gonna grab a mic for her? Thank you. So the company I work at, the company itself fully believes in you confront the person, you don't do that, you don't go behind their backs, you don't gossip and discuss it. In fact, there's a book called Fierce Conversations that they recommend we read and all that. I've been there for a year and so I see this in practice a lot. And it goes both ways. And what I have realized is that, because even this past week, and it's not always your Christian walk, they might not agree with the decision or that kind of thing. And so, what I've realized is a lot of this goes to trust in that person. If you have a relationship of trust, that you've built on trust with that person, then that's, gains you huge insights into they aren't doing this to hurt you, they aren't doing this out of a bitter heart or whatever. And when it goes poorly is when that trust isn't there. Because it has gone both ways for me. And when I reached out to somebody this week because I got some indication that they didn't agree with the decision, I trusted them. I was like, I can go talk to them about this. And I did and we worked it and it was fine. It's those times when those people that the trust isn't there, that it goes poorly. That's a good comment. Anything else? Right here, Brian. When I was, years ago, when I was a new Christian, as I became a Christian, I decided, okay, now that I'm Christian, and I'm gonna change the way I live, I'm gonna start changing others. And so, there's one person I had in mind, he was actually my brother, And I thought, okay, I'm gonna work on him. So I started reading scripture, and the first scripture that the Lord put on my heart was, before you can pull the sliver out of your brother's eye, you better pull the log out of your own. So I had to take a step back and realize that before I could start confronting people, I needed to look at myself first. Yeah, that's good. All the way in the back, Destry. I was a little concerned that you were ignoring me. No, just those bright lights. I'm in the cheap seats. I actually should be closer. Someone, a few comments back. I think I've got a brother that this reminded me of in high school. We had a youth leader who challenged him in a very negative, very wrong way that it was God's will for him to go to this camp with the rest of us. And he was very aggressive about it because my brother was, I guess he felt like that this was going to, if he got to this camp, his world was going to be changed. And so, just to be clear, that confrontation ended in me having a brother that's now 39. He has no interest in church at all. And I can, you know, ultimately he's going to have to be responsible for that. I mean, that's, it's not this man's fault. But there was a, there was definitely a confrontation there that was like a cutting of the cord. in my brother's life as far as any interest at all in church, pursuing Jesus or anything. And I share that story with folks a lot and think about it often because there was, and I even went back to this gentleman years later and kind of brought it up to him. And that didn't go over well either. It was just, it was a very unfortunate thing. So, death and life are in the power of the tongue, and we have the opportunity this week to go into a world that is in need and speak life in our homes, in our workplaces, in our neighborhoods, and I pray that we will remember some of these things so that we can continue to strive to live life to the glory of God. Let's close in prayer as we finish. If you wouldn't mind praying for me, I have the opportunity to preach in chapel at Faith Baptist Bible College in Ankeny, Iowa on Wednesday. I'm preaching in the Bible College and in the seminary chapel. So I'll get to see Dean Taylor, hopefully spend some time with him. Very excited about that. And so would you pray as I head out there this week that God will really give me a wonderful opportunity to minister. All right, let's pray. Lord, thank you so much for your continual work in our lives. Thank you that the gospel gives us hope that we can continually preach to ourselves the fact that you have freed us from our sin, and so we can change to be like your son. And so, Lord, I pray in our communication this week, we will strive to grow and change, and I pray the opportunities for confrontation that no doubt will be there, that we will take those, but we'll take them very carefully And Lord, help us to be mindful of your word and the attitude and spirit in which you want us to speak truth into other people's lives. Please help us, Lord, to really radiate your glory as we go about our day and week as we have opportunity in your holy and precious name, I pray. Amen. Thanks so much. You're dismissed.