Well, congregation, let's turn then to the book of Proverbs this morning for good and rich instruction and practical matters from the word of God. Proverbs chapter 22. One of those verses which I expect we have memorized, even if we didn't immediately think about that when we saw this text, if you hear it or if you've already read it, you say, oh yes, of course I know that verse. And so let's Ask the Lord to lead us further in understanding matters pertaining to training covenant children. So Proverbs 22 six will only take up the first part of the verse this morning and the next part the next time we are together here. Proverbs 22 six will read the verse train a child in the way he should go. And when he is old, he will not turn from it. So this morning, train a child in the way he should go. Let's ask the guidance and the help of the Lord this morning in this proverb, shall we? Father in heaven, there are so many things that we are already probably considering or we did in hearing about this text or in years past we have learned. We pray, Lord, that you would bring all of those things together now, and by your spirit, dear Father, lead us in the truth. May we see the implications and the applications of the life of a Christian, those belonging to Jesus Christ by grace, in our families, parent to child, as we are all children of you. Lead us to understand your word by your spirit, we ask this morning. In the name of Jesus, our King, amen. Dear congregation of the Lord Jesus Christ, and if I can say it in this very simple way, one thing we must always be thinking about, must always be contemplating, when we hear gospel truth, God's message, is how his word then comes to us. We must always be thinking, apply, apply, apply. What does it mean to me? Just how does the sweeping gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ apply to me and my life, my circumstances, my particular challenges and blessings, and of course, as we come to the text, in relationship to families. We can think historically for a moment, and the best reformers and Puritans, what they would have done with a text like this, and emphasizing the experiential applications of the text. Not just a couple of words on the page, not just a familiar verse maybe that we've memorized, but to dig into it and say, well, what all is involved? What's included in these simple, humble words? Train a child, or the old language, train up a child in the way He should go. And that's, by the way, if we're thinking historically of how the Reformed and the Puritans would have dealt with a text like this, if I might say it now this way, if we were at this moment to turn open the back of our blue Psalter hymnals to our baptismal form, we would find that kind of experiential, applicatory language where the baptismal form says, quote, and the parents shall be bound to further instruct their children in these things. That's experiential language. We shouldn't allow the world to say there's a vast degree of separation between the word, the Bible, and our lives, because there isn't, and historically that's easily proved. Our Reformed fathers would have seen applications just flowing out of these few words for a long and deep river. The Proverbs, work into us by the Spirit the practical aspects of Christianity. It's a very different kind of genre. It's a very different kind of writing than the narrative sections and Paul's epistles and other things. The Proverbs, what are they? They are super concentrated, thematic blasts, like 22.6. Train up a child. in the way he should go. Parents, apply gospel truths every day by training up your child, your children in the way they should go. And so it is absolutely necessary that every covenant family obey this command. Now I'm not being harsh and I'm not being legalistic and overly dramatic by that theme statement. It is what the text says. It is absolutely necessary. that every covenant family obey this command. This command is based on an authority structure. This command is based on a necessity. This command requires authority, and this command requires accepting the necessity, which we'll get to in the last point. The necessity is one the world would entirely disagree about. would not like at all. We'll come to it. So it is absolutely necessary that every covenant family obey this command. And first of all, this command is based on an authority structure. I'm gonna say something that's gonna be a little shocking, but you'll get it immediately when I say it, because we need to confirm and agree that we do not ask infants at baptism if they agree with and will allow themselves to be baptized. You're thinking, now, why did you say that? Because, of course, they're children. But it's the day that we have arrived at, you see, where some people are thinking and even saying now that we should ask children their permission for anything that goes on in the life of the family and in relationship to their being under the authority of the parents. There's been a revival of something in America that began in England, Europe in 2018. I checked. Because when I heard it a couple of weeks ago, I thought, now this is as weird as it gets. And it's not something new, it didn't start in America, it started in England in 2018, you can find it out. And what I'm talking about is this. The idea that, and you're gonna think I'm crazy when I say it if you didn't hear this, the idea that parents should ask permission of their infants to allow them to change their diaper. I told you you would think I was crazy and saying that, and you're snickering, right? That's actually a philosophy going around right now. Check it out. Google it. The idea, beloved, is so crazy and we laugh at it, but the underlying structure of that is what is the authority relationship between the parent and the child? What has come home to roost because of the worldliness, of the turning on its head, of the giving of trophies for participation, which was going on already, of course, in the 80s and the 90s, that has come now to roost in children being the authority in the home. Is that what the Bible allows us to think is good? Or do we have a different perspective? We need then to overly state what should be obvious, and I'm gonna say it. This proverb only, quote, works, dare we put it that way, only works if the biblical authority structure be accepted. The child, verse 6a, needs to be trained by the parent, not the other way around. Now if you think it's a little crazy for a parent to ask permission of the infant to change the diaper and you think that goes nowhere, look at how teenagers, many of them, not all of them, but how teenagers treat their parents in the worldly scheme. And you'll see it's no laughing matter at all. Again, thinking of our baptism form, it speaks much about God's promises, doesn't it? Our baptism form speaks much about God's faithfulness, and of course, that's always first, His promises, His faithfulness that has preeminence, but then secondly comes in the form and in the biblical structure and in God's mind of wisdom, the address to the parents. What should the parent do? And in that baptism process, if you can imagine it now for a moment, you'll remember what I'm just about to say, that in the baptism itself, the child is not asked anything. And you say, well, of course, in most cases, we're thinking about infants, yes. But why is that so meaningful now? Well, this is one place, beloved, where we begin to see such a close link between three, a close link between three crucial biblical truths, covenant, the gospel, and authority. There's another place we just dealt with last week where we see this same triple connection, and that is in church discipline. The connection between covenant, the gospel, and authority. It's found there as well, but it's found here in parenting. God has given to parents, children, to raise them in the covenant by living and explaining to them gospel truths. Parents shall be bound, says again the baptism form, and they're asked, do you promise and do you intend, and all of you parents were asked this at one point, whether you're now grandparents or great-grandparents, or in those parenting years, you baptized your child, this question came to you, do you promise and intend to instruct this child, these children, as soon as they are able to comprehend? Why those kinds of statements? Why are those things significant? because of a necessity to which we will turn in a moment, but first, because God created society. And in his creation, there are parents and children. There's a dad and a mom, and there are children. There are the trainers and the trainees. There's dad, there is mom, you are the trainers. Children, you are the trainees. And until you age out of child years, you'll remain to be the trainees. And some of you who have adult children realize that at certain moments in your life, you're still the trainer. And your adult children at certain moments, not always, not all the time, but at certain moments, your adult children are still the trainees. And that's a good thing. It's a blessing. But let's put it another way. Because here's what the world doesn't like. Dad, mom, especially dad, you are the disciplinarians. This is the structure of the text. Our children need this authority structure. You see, secondly, this command is based on a necessity. Train a child in the way he should go. I want you to know that there's a silent subject to the first part of verse 6a, train up a child. There's a silent subject there in terms of the English language and in the Hebrew it's no different, a silent subject, but having said that we need, maybe, maybe we're shocked, we need to be at least aware that for millennia that silent subject was well understood. There was never a question to who was being addressed here, which group was being addressed? Well, it's parents, they're the silent subject. Parents must do something. They must train. But train in what? In the way he should go, she should go, they should go. And here we find another truth, dare we say it, assumed for millennia, children need to be taught the way they must go. Why? Because, shock of all shocks to us, I say tongue in cheek, they need to be trained in the way they should go because they are sinners. Because they are sinners. And so they must be taught the way they must go, and we are the ones to teach them. We must understand that covenant relationship, in terms of parent to child, brings with it a necessity. And we must then be, as covenant parents, convinced that we have a responsibility to our children, a necessity that we owe to our children, that God has placed us in a relationship with them, and indeed over them, which brings to it a calling and a duty to train. Teaching our covenant children in the gospel. Covenant, gospel, and authority have by God all been placed together so that our children, though as the baptism form says, born dead in their trespasses and sins, will be taught by us all the volumes of the gospel library. All of the various aspects of the relationship that they are being led to have with our glorious God will be taught to them, and the primary leadership of that training is in the home, the parents. Does the church have a part? Yes, of course. Do other Christians in relationship with that family and those children have a part? Yes, of course. Where's the primary place of responsibility? It's with the parents. to teach the child which way they must go. Which is where? Where must they go? What does the text say? Train a child in the way he should go. Where is the way? To which way are we pointing them? You know the answer to that. We are pointing our children to Jesus Christ, who is the way and the truth and the life. Our children are not pagans. But neither are they as the Roman Catholic Church errs is a mistake and it's saying neither are they by baptism saved. It's not baptismal regeneration. We reject that language and so the parents must train them in the way, showing them Jesus Christ. And so this is the place for getting our minds and hearts around what we might call a theological necessity of this training. This is why this command, and by the way, the first word there in verse six, train, in the original Hebrew is like the force of it which we feel in the English. In the original Hebrew, the word train is an imperative. It's a command word. We must train as it is a command by God to us. So that we can then see a clear biblical, confessional, and thus theological and practical truth that children need to understand well, as soon as they are able to, their own need for Jesus Christ. We're going to get very practical and specific about that in a few minutes. But first, we need to grasp the big picture. I'll say it again, parents, your children are not little pagans, but they are little sinners. They're children born in the covenant. We believe God's promises, and because we believe God's promises spoken to them, we train with all energy, we pray with all vigor. We show them Jesus Christ in every aspect of life, from morning till night, and all of the challenges and blessings that come into the life of the Christian family. We are training them to look to Christ, to love Christ, to run to Christ. May I say it more forcefully? Parents, your responsibility is to press your children into Jesus Christ. to give them no alternatives. And this is why I kind of began with a humorous picture of a parent asking its infant, is it okay that I change your diaper? Because we should not, as our children get to teenage years, listening to our children say, is it okay that I run after Baal? Is it okay that I run after Astaroth? Is it good that I go after idolatry? Dad and mom, what do you think? And parents nowadays are supposed to say, well, it's up to you, do whatever you think is best. Wrong, no, forget about it. Train a child in the way he should go. Say to your children in every possible way, at every possible moment, be in Christ. Jesus Christ is your only hope. It's a necessity, you see. It's not an option. And we need to get to some practical matters in terms of that, so let's go thirdly to see this command requires authority. Train. Parents, train. Be parents. Be parents. To understand all that is required here, we need to briefly outline what training in terms of the gospel means. There are three component parts to this training, which three will reveal why this command, train up a child, requires authority. First, This training sets forth a clear expectation of righteousness. The Christian parents set forth to their children a clear expectation of righteousness. We'll work that out in a minute. Secondly, this training requires a constant application of loving discipline. Constant application of loving discipline. We'll see why in a moment. Third, training children mandates a constant living out of the grace of Jesus Christ. Training children requires living out a mandate of the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. We need to see all of those things now in practical ways from the text. But we mention them here so that we might understand what God is dealing with in this proverb. That at a most basic level, in covenant families, he has ordained authority to guide in these ways. Reasoned Christian authority. Spirit-led, sanctified thinking and behavior from parents to set forth to children the reality of these things. Because once again, children are not going to do this. They don't know. They don't understand. They're sinners. So here what we are talking about in terms of the parents designing a home and designing a family life that sets forth these three component parts is the working out of the Fifth Commandment. Honor your father and your mother. There needs, you see, to be authority to expect that. The same way when sinners err in their ways in terms later on in their years as they're getting older and the elders say to them, no, now you need to do this, and they disobey the elders, they can be brought under charges in violation of the fifth commandment. Because you see, it exudes authority. It's God's plan. God says to the parents, a command word, train. And the children must be, by the parents, trained. This is why both Ephesians 6-1, as we read it this morning, and Colossians 3-20, the fifth commandment is said to be the first commandment with a promise. It will go well with you when you obey dad and mom. Your life will be fruitful and things will go well in general terms with you. Children, therefore, must expect to be under the authority of their parents and the biblical worldview will be set forth before them, before the children, by the parents because the parents are in charge. For example, and we'll come back to the matter of spanking in a few minutes, Most parents do not yet understand spanking to be a loving action that helps set up the authority markers for the children necessary for the rest of their lives. Something timeouts and mere words simply do not accomplish. setting up authority boundaries which the children need to learn that will benefit them the rest of their days. Have you ever watched, and my wife and I sort of like watching these real police shows where the police are out doing their jobs and they pull over this person for speeding and the other person for violating this rule of the road, and sometimes you'll notice when somebody is pulled over, they're compliant to the police officer, yes officer, no officer, here's my paperwork officer, and the next time somebody else is pulled over, they're like, who are you, I'm not gonna do anything you tell me to do, I'm gonna be as, Difficult as possible. How do people arrive at those different kinds of attitudes about authority structures, beloved? It begins in the home with parenting. Make no mistake about it. You parents must parent. God has put you in that family circumstance, now I say this tenderly but firmly, he has put you in that family circumstance not to be the best buddy of your children, Not to be their best friend while they're still in the home under your authority. That will come later, we pray, when they're adults and you can be the best friend of your child, that's great. We look forward to that. But not when they are under your authority, under your roof, in your home. Don't be their best buddy, that's not your calling. You're the parent. There's authority. God has invested you parents with authority. Train. Train. The baptism form, parents shall be bound to instruct. We, dads and moms, are, quote, to cause them to be instructed. The church comes alongside. We have Sunday school. We have catechism. We have Bible studies. You come for corporate worship. All of that is instructive. It builds. It trains. It teaches. But it begins in the home. It must begin in the home. You are the authority. Train. Parents, sometimes because of the world, sometimes just because of the busyness of life, This is hard. We get tired. We like our hobbies, we like our downtime, we like our TV shows, whatever it is for you. But beloved, none of those things must take priority over training. Not your hobby, not your causes, not your downtimes. None of those things are to be higher on your priority list, a thing more important to you, dad and mom, than train. Not your vacations, not your investments, not the rest of your family, your extended family. Because you see this command requires authority. and that authority is best won in their lives by love. It is something they value more when they see the love, the time, the energy, the effort from you than the time and the energy, effort, and love that you give to anything else in your life, like your golf, I'm not trying to pick on golfers, or your building of models, if you like to build models, anything else, they need you. Well then, fourthly, this command requires accepting the necessity. Parents, train them in the covenant, in gospel themes. This is our necessary labor as covenant parents. Those gospel themes, again, in broad terms, are the following three. I mentioned them a minute ago. Let me say them again. First, a clear expectation of righteousness. Well, why that? Because this reflects God's nature. It sets forth to our children a world, a world where God is. Do you realize that children being raised in a non-Christian, un-Christian, un-covenant home are being raised in a world, being taught by their parents, that they live in a world where God isn't? That's as simple as we can put it. They are being misled by parents, as well-intended as those parents might be, as much as those unbelieving pagan parents love their children, and we don't dismiss the fact that they love their children, but they are being misled by those parents to think they live in a world where there isn't a God. And thus, because there isn't a God, there is no such thing as right and wrong. There is no righteousness, you see. But God is, isn't he? And if we admit that, which we readily do, then we ask the question, well, what kind of God is he? And we come quickly to the answer to the question, what kind of God is he, with the word he is holy, holy, holy. And in terms of everything he does is righteousness. And so what we are called to do as parents in the lives of our children is to define for them that world. and say, look child, there is right and there is wrong because God is. He's a thrice holy God and because he is, there's right and wrong. Parents, you may think I'm belaboring this, but I'm gonna say it again. It is your responsibility to define that world for your children. Train them. Train them. Secondly then, by a constant application of loving discipline. Now if you don't like these things, you can argue with God in the Bible. I'm gonna tell you what he says. I must do nothing less. He says that a constant application of loving discipline in terms of how he evaluates it is using the rod. not sparing the rod, and by which we mean lovingly spanking our children, disciplining them. Threats don't work. If you say to your children, if you do that again, I'm going to, that doesn't work. I'm gonna count to three, and if you don't stop that, it doesn't work. It simply doesn't work. And more than that, it's not how God treats us. We'll see that in a moment more. Spanking. Spanking keeps our children out of jail because it defines for them very carefully laid out expectations and the implications of crossing the line. And when righteousness is thwarted, when disobedience occurs and the violation, the transgression, that's the technical word, happens, and discipline comes swiftly, lovingly, wisely, not angrily, not out of emotional outbursts, but when discipline comes, our children learn there are boundary markers. Remember my illustration a few moments ago of the two types of people who are pulled over, and when the police officer comes to the two types of people, one says, yes, officer, no, officer, here's my paperwork, officer, and the other says, who are you to pull me over? I can tell you with some degree of certainty, though I'm no prophet or the son of a prophet, that one sort of child, now adult, was probably lovingly disciplined, and the other was not. It's not the only answer, it's not the perfect answer, but it surely is what God says. Beyond that, Proverbs 23, verse 14. Let me read this. Proverbs 23, verse 14. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death. What kind of death? Spiritual death. And such discipline prepares the child to understand grace. The loving application of discipline prepares the child to understand grace. Because thirdly, we must accept the need to train them by living out before them the gospel, the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. Now I want to be more particular to the parents on this one for a moment. Parents, do you know that your children know that you fight? Especially as they get older into their late adolescent and into their early teen years, they know that you argue. They hear it. They hear parents arguing. Yes, they do. Do they hear parents reconciling? That's so important. It is so important for parent to say to parent, husband to say to wife, you know I sinned against you when I was yelling at you, please forgive me, and for the wife to say, yes you were and I do forgive you in front of the parents, in front of the children that is, when the children know that the parents were fighting. To say that openly in front of the children when it's appropriate to do so, Otherwise, what happens to begin to foment in the mind of the child is that dad and mom only fight all the time, and that's all I ever hear is them arguing and fighting, rather than hearing them asking one another for forgiveness and providing forgiveness in front of them. Because what's gonna become a more significant necessity when your children get into their teen years, and they get pretty wise, and they've learned some things, and they're growing in their spiritual life, and you, the parent, sin in regards to them, and believe it or not, that's gonna happen, when the father or the mother sins against the child, and that's gonna happen, The parent must be big enough and spiritually mature enough to go to the child and say, will you forgive me because I sinned against you? And to wait for the child to say to the parent, yes, I forgive you. Because what is that? That's the gospel. That's the gospel. That's a family built around the gospel growing in godliness in such a way that Christ is glorified in the wonderful relationship of brother to sister and parent to child and child to parent that we should want and expect when we get to our later years and you, I don't wanna make you feel uncomfortable, but get to our later years and the phone rings and you hope it's not that brother or that sister calling because you really don't wanna talk to them. We have to deal with these things now. We have to deal with these things early. So if we're thinking about this, beloved, and we're wondering about where these expectations come from, of setting up a clear illustration of righteousness, of having a regular and patterned response of discipline, and of growing them in the gospel of grace, what we are just now talking about is nothing else than what the second question and answer of the Heidelberg Catechism says. What three things are necessary for you to know to live and die? in the comfort of the gospel, to live and die happily, what three things? First, how great my sin and misery are. Second, how I'm set free from my sin and misery. Third, how I am to show thanksgiving for such deliverance. But if we say to our children, there's nothing different between right and wrong, do whatever you want, let your heart lead you, How will they know? How will they know what sin is? How will they know salvation from Christ, grace and mercy received from him? How will they know any of those things if there is no discipline applied, no gospel spoken? We must train. for the sake of the gospel, for the sake of the kingdom, for the glory of God and for the application of the merits and mercies of Christ in covenant families, parents, train. Amen. Oh Lord, how we are thankful for the rich supply of gospel grace that is found in Jesus Christ, even for the arduous, painful, complicated task of parenting. O Lord, be with our parents. May they train in such a way as to show they are owned by Jesus Christ, lovers of his grace, and find their sufficiency to be in Jesus, and our children will see it, and they too will love what Jesus Christ has done. Help us in these things we ask in his name, amen. Congregation, let's stand. We'll sing now 417. Savior, like a shepherd, lead us. Let's sing the stanzas, 417.