Okay, man, we are going to pick up this whole issue of perseverance in the family and specifically dealing with the issue of child training and discipline in the home. Now, perhaps you're thinking to yourself, well, hey, Pastor Serban's got nine kids. He must be an expert in this area. Well, let me just say very clearly, not an expert, still learning. not an expert, still learning. So, the issue of perseverance, though, is the issue of continuing to go forward, trusting God to work through me, through my wife, as we discuss various things together and we try to figure out what we're going to do. Here's the newest challenge in the servant home. The newest challenge is we're having children who are growing up and who are getting married, that's the new challenge, and trying to figure that out, and then actually becoming a grandparent, yet still having some young boys and some young daughters in the house who need to be raised. So, the most common expression I'll hear around our house now, because we have a big house, used to be filled with lots of children, the statement is, it's awfully quiet around here, it's awfully quiet. So we're realizing that things have changed and we're having to adapt to a whole new way of working with our family. Now, when we apply this concept of perseverance, I tried to say from the first presentation that the foundation of going forward by faith, persevering, is the fact that God is at work in your life. God is at work. He started something and he's committed to stick with you as you go through your life, through all the different days and all the different experiences. And he's given you a word and he's given you brothers to help apply the word so that you won't be without resources. He's given you His Word, which has all you need for life, all the various principles. It's sufficient to give us what we need. And then we have the brothers of the faith to encourage us and stir us up to do the very thing that we're supposed to do. So that's really what we're talking about here, going forward by faith in the area of child training and discipline. Now, there came a point a few years ago when I was really beginning to wonder Is all of this working? We had been homeschoolers at that point for about 20 years, and the kids were growing up. They were getting to the late teen years, one or two in the early 20 years. And I'm wondering, Lord, is this working? Are we seeing the faith that Cheryl and I have being communicated in such a way to our children that they are going forward and they're following in the example and the faith of their father and mother. That was our goal, to help that happen. Is it working? It's a real question that I had. And here's how the Lord answered it. One day, We were out camping. It was in the year 2003. We lived in California at that time and we went on a big grand expedition all the way up the Pacific Coast up into Washington and Oregon and even over to Idaho. It was a great trip. We're on our way back home in our big 15 passenger van and we pull into the state park which is near Mount St. Helens. And it's late in the day. We're getting all set, getting our tents put up, getting ready for the next day. We have dinner. And as we're going to bed, I'm looking up into the night sky and it is beautiful. A million stars are in the sky. And I think to myself, it's going to be a wonderful day tomorrow on the mountain. And we go to sleep. Well, the next morning, I wake up about six o'clock in the morning to the sound of rain. This is Oregon. And it just didn't occur to me that there's going to be rain the next morning. Well, there was. And I'm laying there in my sleeping bag, nice and warm and cozy. And it's raining. And I think to myself, I'm not going to get out of this bag. I'm going to roll back over and go to sleep again. So I roll over and I go to sleep. And I wake up about an hour later. And it's still raining. And I'm thinking, I don't want to get up. We're talking about breakfast for 11 people here. Got to go out in the rain. And how is this all going to happen? And I'm lying there kind of commiserating. What am I going to do when all of a sudden I start hearing other noises? I'm hearing the clanking of pans. I'm hearing somebody out there at work at the stove, and I'm wondering, is there a raccoon out there or something like that? But I get out of my sleeping bag, I peer out through the little vent in our tent, and I see three forms busy at work. My daughter Elizabeth, my son Nathan, and my son Peter. And I think to myself, hallelujah! They got all their rain gear on. They're out there working at the camp stove. And pretty soon the zipper of our door goes up and in comes a hand, Nathan's hand, and he's got two or three cups of steaming hot chocolate. And he passes them around to the people who are in my tent. And we're just loving it. And then a few minutes later comes a plate of scrambled eggs and sausage and some sweet rolls. And I'm thinking to myself, Lord, it's worked. It's worked. They've caught this vision. of being faithful Christians and going forth and not just waiting for them to be served by others and not just sitting around like I was doing at that moment, but they actually have picked up and started doing something that was hard and they had to push themselves and they made it happen. And so I was very encouraged that day to realize that family discipleship works. How does it really begin to manifest itself? Well, in some very small ways. It's not always in large, dramatic ways. It's in simple ways, like being at the cook stove. Or it's in simple ways, like helping mom with the dishes. Or it's in simple ways like helping Dad with the outside chores, if that's how you break down your family divisions. Mom has the inside, Dad has the outside. It's very typical. That's what we've done over the years. But are your children willing to help in those ways? Are they glad to be together as a family and gather around your family table or sit in your living room as you read the Bible together? That's when you know, in just some small ways, is this all working? Is it coming together? And that's what I want to speak to you about today, is what recipe has God given to us in the Scriptures for us to do so that we can communicate our faith in a winsome, truthful, honest manner to our sons and daughters. Now, I've looked at a lot of passages over the years, but brothers, I keep coming back to this one passage. It's one that continues to minister to me no matter how many times I preach on it and how many times I study it. And that is, and I'm looking for Paul Hunt. Where's Paul? What passage is it? You got it. Psalm 78. I was over at your house recently and I saw it on the doorpost of one of your rooms. And I was very encouraged by that. Psalm 78. Listen to the first eight verses. I'd encourage you to read further, because it is a glorious psalm, and it's a testimony to the faithfulness of God, even in the unfaithfulness of a certain generation, whose children then rise up and go into the land to take forth the viand that God has given. Hear the word of God. Give ear, O my people, to my teaching. Incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable. I will utter dark sayings from of old, things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord and His might and the wonders that He has done. He established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments." What's the setting of this psalm? Well, this psalm is rehearsing the history of Israel. This psalm is going back to a rebellious and a forsaken generation. Those people who wandered in the wilderness, those people who followed Moses' leadership, at least for a time, but kept saying in kind of this naggy voice of, let's go back to Egypt and go back to our enslavement there because we had it better there in Egypt. They're the ones who questioned Moses and Aaron. They're the ones who built the golden calf. in the wilderness and who began to worship it. And God cursed them in the midst of their rebellion and their unfaithfulness. However, as a picture of God's unfolding grace and mercy, you see someone coming forward from even this disobedient generation, their children, who rise up and who do something marvelous and noble for the Lord, and that is they go in and they take possession of the land of milk and honey, the promised land. It's an amazing story of even how in this unfaithful group who were cursed by God, God by His grace raises up their children to go forward and to do the very thing that they failed in doing. It should give you hope. that God, if He works through this unfaithful generation, can work through you and me for all our stumblings, all our failings, all our inconsistencies. God can still use you in all of the efforts you make in raising up sons and daughters. So, let's look at the first couple of verses here and ask the question, what are godly parents to do? What are we to do? Well, the first thing we're to do is to tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord. Now, note that this, if you look at the title of Psalm 78, it is a maskil of Asaph. A maskil is a teaching term, which simply means it's something to contemplate, ponder, or reflect on. And so, as you come back to this psalm over and over again, you're doing that very thing. You're pondering on it, you're reflecting upon it, you're thinking about it, considering all the different aspects over and again. Asaph, who was he? He was the chief musician in the temple. And so, think Solomon's temple back a thousand years before the time of the Lord Jesus. And Asaph is laboring and working there. And he writes this historic psalm which has put the music in the worship of God in the temple. And it was a maskil, a psalm which to be contemplated. He says, incline your ears to the words of my mouth. And in that, he's saying, be attentive, listen, consider, ponder on these words, weigh these thoughts in your mind. He goes on to say, I will open my mouth in a parable. I will utter dark sayings of old, things that we have heard and known that our fathers have told us. And that expression, Asaph is using the phrase dark sayings from of old as a Hebrew expression. And he's simply saying, tell the family stories, tell the traditions, tell the events, the sayings, the collective memories, the spiritual truths, the things that are worth knowing and repeating. Tell your children all of these things. Don't be shy about it. And he's specifically giving this task to the fathers to do it, to tell their children of these various things. Now, Jesus used the same methodology, by the way. What did he do? Well, he told parables. He gave parables. He used life situations that were very familiar to the people that he was dealing with. And he painted these word pictures so they could grasp the idea very quickly and they could remember it. Same sort of strategy here. Simply telling stories of your life, telling of the great things that God has done in your personal experience, plus reading to them from the Scriptures the great things that God has done that have been recorded. That's the basic strategy. Give ear to my teaching. Incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable and utter the dark sayings of of old. that all the things that our fathers have told us. Now, here you see a multi-generational mindset flowing out of this psalm. In American culture, we're very individualistic. It's all about you, it's all about me, and it's very much that way. But the Hebrews didn't think that way. And so as we go back to the Old Testament, we have to think in terms of the covenant community, of a group of people, and of multiple generations, and not just this one individual and how it fared with them. They were concerned about the faithfulness of many generations of men and women who would walk with God, of fathers and of children and of grandchildren and of great-grandchildren who look back to their spiritual forefathers and their physical forefathers and they bore testimony to their faithfulness or they gave warnings about their unfaithfulness. And it's in that latter category that we see happening here. Warnings about unfaithfulness. Now, the whole issue of fathers is an important one to consider. And the question comes up, well, isn't Asaph, or isn't God, through this parable, being awfully gender specific? I mean, can't we just include ladies in all of this? Well, the text itself is very particular. And it says here that the fathers have told us these things. I don't think you can necessarily exclude women from ever telling family stories or saying that they're forbidden from ever speaking to the traditions or spiritual truths. But nonetheless, there is a special responsibility that the men have to do this. And by God's design, He set it up so that you are the head of your family. And that your sons are to, as it were, be understudies and watch what dad does. Because there's going to come a time when you're going to be doing what your father does. And so you have to be thoughtful about that. And so I don't think this excludes women from ever speaking. It just simply says that men, you have a special responsibility given from God and you have to thwart that tendency to follow the sin of Adam, which was to be silent and to say nothing. The sin of Adam. And so, we're to be outspoken, we're to go against the grain of maybe our own culture and to actually lead, to actually speak, to see ourselves having the responsibility of teaching and instructing our family. It is a forgotten art and most men never learn this. I never learned this as a child growing up in my own father and my stepfather's home. It took a grandfather to begin to communicate to me that this was a necessary thing. And so, it's important for us to see that this is gender specific and there's a special role that men have in doing this very thing. Look at what the Lord said to Abraham in Genesis 18, 19. An important verse you might consider memorizing for a father's responsibility. It says, Genesis 18, 19, For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him." It's very interesting to me to see that God uses means to accomplish His ends. God has planned for certain blessings to come to Abraham and his family. But in order for that to happen, Abraham has to be obedient to do the things that God has told him to do. So, God is using means to accomplish the ends. And the means that He's using is Abraham's obedience. So, this is a glorious example. of how it is that men are to be involved in the training of children and making a particular stamp upon the culture of their house. Think about it this way, men. You are establishing a culture of your house. Let it be distinctly a Christian culture and not a culture which is separated into the secular and the sacred. That's the way it was in my household growing up. We would go to church on Sunday and we would be spiritual on that day. But every other day of the week, it was completely contrary to that. And so that was what was communicated to me. And I realized as a Christian father, as a man who started having children, then I had to create a culture that was different. And that somehow the Christian faith was more than just a Sunday only routine. The Christian faith was an everyday responsibility and a privilege at the same time. We had to be busy about being Christians every day of the week. Now, specifically, what are the men to do? Well, he tells us in verse four. We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord and His might and the wonders that He has done. Now, in English, it comes across a little bit awkward in that sentence, but in essence, it's saying that the men are to tell their own children. When it says their children, it's saying, in essence, their own children, how God has been at work in not only their own life, but also in all the lives of the people of God. They're to tell them these various things. The glorious deeds of the Lord and His might and the wonders He has done. Your children should be familiar with biblical truth. Why? Well, because they hear it from your lips. They hear you reading the Scripture They hear you discussing it around your living room or your kitchen table, and your wife should be washed in the Word by you. That doesn't mean you have every answer. In fact, there are times when my wife knows a lot more than I do about a lot of subjects. And I'll say to her, dear, I don't I don't understand that. Can you explain that to me privately? And she does that. And then then when we're out at the next time we have family worship or something like that, then I hail forth as if I knew it from from the very beginning. Well, she's she's helped me. So, you don't have to pretend you know it all, and if there are areas that are dark, glaring, lax in your spiritual knowledge, well, just accept the fact, man up to it, and just continue to be a student, and dig in the Bible, and have the stories come forward. Why? Because God says He will bless that. And He will help your sons and daughters to get what it means to be a Christian, so this handoff from one generation to the next, by His grace, happens. That's what we're to do. Now, there's another example of this, further back in the Old Testament, in the book of Joshua, in Joshua 4, verses 6 and 7. What happened in that context? Well, Joshua's leading the people of God into the land of promise. They're crossing over the River Jordan. And the Lord, by divine miracle, causes all the waters of the Jordan River to pile up into a great heap, up a ways, so that the people of God are able to cross on dry land. And as they do, and they get to the other side, Then the Lord instructs Joshua that he's to designate 12 men there to go out into the middle of the Jordan that's all dry, pick up some large stones, go and build a pillar or a memorial unto the faithfulness and the blessing of God. So that whenever they pass by that site again, their children will say, well, Dad, what do those rocks over there mean? And then the dads have an occasion then to speak of God's faithfulness and how He stopped the waters and He brought them to the land of promise. And so, look at verse 6. It says, this may be a sign among you. This is Joshua chapter 4. When your children ask in time to come, what do these stories mean to you? And then you shall tell them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord when it passed over the Jordan, and the waters of the Jordan were cut off. So these stones shall be to the people of Israel a memorial forever. And so, in this example, we see the kind of teaching that we're to have as fathers. It's this idea of telling stories, of telling of the glorious deeds of the Lord, and proclaiming to our own children what God has done. Let me just say very clearly to you, I believe this is biblical evangelism. Most of us, when we think about evangelism, we have the idea of going door to door, using some sort of track, some sort of crusade evangelism. This example here is covenantal evangelism. God has placed your children in your house. Think about that for a minute. He gave you children. He didn't put them in the family around the corner who are absolute pagans. He didn't put them into the family around the other side who are involved in a cult group. He didn't put them into the family across town who are followers of the Prophet Muhammad. He put them in your home, a Christian home. Either by birth or by adoption, He put them in your home. And they are heirs of the covenants. And they need to understand the gospel of grace from your lips. God gives you that great privilege. That's why as a pastor, by the way, when it comes to working with children and helping them to get ready to make their professions of faith to be admitted to the Lord's table, I look at the fathers and the mothers and especially the dads and I say, that is your job. I'll help you. I'll give you some tools. I'll give you some counsel. But that is your privilege. of explaining the gospel, of telling of the glorious deeds of the Lord to your own children. What a privilege! I mean, from a pastor's point of view, would I want to rob somebody of that privilege? By no means. And so, this is biblical evangelism. To tell the coming generation, or some of your translations, New King James has the rising generation, of the glorious deeds of the Lord. Now, God has given us a method for doing this. It isn't as if you just need to use a biblical storybook or you need to have a little classroom or something like that. He's told us a method. So let's go back to Deuteronomy chapter six. It's very straightforward. Deuteronomy six, verse six through nine. Here's the method. that God has given for the evangelization and the discipleship of our children. Let's start back in verse 4. The Shema. Here, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. A profession of faith. If you say that and you believe that, then that's the mark of the person who loves God and obeys Him. That's the mark of a man who follows Yahweh. Of Jehovah God. And then verse 6, And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart, and you shall teach them diligently to your children, and talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes, and you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Now, a lot of people will say, well, method doesn't really count. It isn't really all that important. We could use other methods. Let me just say, I think you're mistaken there. God has given us a method that He specifically blesses in the raising up of sons and daughters so that they catch the faith of their father and mother. And that is by using His method of simply telling them through all the various circumstances of life, when you're getting up and when you're going through the day and when you're lying down, and having His law and His gospel so prominently interwoven in all the different parts of your life, that they see it as a part of you. Now, a lot of pastors have a special challenge in this area. And I've been a pastor by God's grace now for 31 years. My whole adult life has been committed to pastoral ministry. But the danger that pastors have is that their children can sometimes get the wrong impression that dad does this for work. He's the professional Christian. And then when he comes home, He's just like anybody else. It really isn't an important thing to him. He just goes through the regular routine. And the only reason he reads his Bible is because he's got a sermon to prepare for or a Bible study to give. And those are the only reasons. Thankfully, I learned early on that faith for Marcus Servan has to be real all the time through every day. And there are times I fail miserably in that. But I'm committed to having it be transparent enough so that my sons and my daughters see that dad is a Christian, dad loves God and dad is serious about his faith. Here's the number one way that that communicates. First and foremost, through regular time in the Word, and talking about the things of God. Wow! Isn't that what God just told us to do in Psalm 78? To tell of the great things of God, and in Deuteronomy 6, to do it in the context of everyday life? That's how it communicates best. And secondly, when I fail, to then repent to my own children of my own failings. So that they see they have a dad who's broken by God's Word and who grieves over his own sin and isn't prideful and arrogant and just always gives the impression that he's the perfect Christian because they know otherwise. And so that's the danger for pastors. And I share that with you just so you understand that this issue of being a Christian all the time is something that I go through just as much as anybody else. Now, in the area of method, here is the central question. If we believe that methodology is given of God, That we don't necessarily have to have this sit down formal time of explaining the gospel to our children and going through four little steps and explaining it in that way. That we can just simply tell them of all the things that God is doing in our own testimonies and direct them to Scripture and teach them through all the circumstances of life. Here's the question. Will you obey God? Will you obey Him when it comes to the method that He has given? He's told us in Deuteronomy 6. He's told us in Psalm 78. And you know what? He tells us a very similar message in the New Testament as well. Look to 2 Timothy 1. Verse 5. I am reminded of your sincere faith, O Timothy, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois, and in your mother Eunice, and now I am sure dwells in you as well." Then over to 2 Timothy 3 verse 14, "...but as for you, O Timothy, continue in what you have learned, and if firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it, and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus." That's covenantal evangelism. That's following Deuteronomy 6 and Psalm 78. Only in this case, because there was a father who failed in his mission, there was a godly mother and a godly grandmother. And God blessed it anyways. And brought this young man to faith. His name was Timothy. And so there are many kinds of experiences that we have in the area of conversion, and some are dramatic, life-changing stories where there's a momentary change and it makes all the difference, and there are others who come to faith very slowly, and yes, there's a point in time where things change, but at points it's hard and it's almost imperceptible to see when the change took place. Those are the two extremes. You have the Apostle Paul on the Damascus Road, and you have Timothy growing up in his father and mother's home. Both valid conversions. Both men work together. Both pictures of the spread of different conversion experiences. Both pictures of God working in the lives of people. But God has put little children into your home. And will you commit yourself and will you obey the Lord in the methods that he has given? The every day, every hour type of evangelism, telling our children of the great things of God. Now, let me just apply the same principle to the area of discipline and look at a number of Proverbs. When we had young children in our house, especially within the first four or five months, I thought to myself, this is going to be easy. We're going to get this figured out and we're going to have this child do everything right. And we had a little daughter. Her name was Rebecca, first child born in the Servant family. And she was very compliant, and she was very obedient, and always wanted to please her father and mother. This is going to be easy. And then we had Nathan. Now, Nathan's not here. He's probably going to listen to this later, because this is being recorded. We had Nathan, and all my theories about child training went out the second-story window. And I realized I didn't have a clue. And I got some very good advice at that point from an older Christian man. And he said, you only need one book when it comes to child training. And I was armed with my Dr. Spock, how to raise children that my mother had given me. And being a student of human psychology in college, I had all the resources from child development and humanistic psychology. And he said, no, it's not any of those that you need. In fact, just throw those out. All you need is the book of Proverbs. And I got really curious about that. And I said, do you mean to tell me that all those little Proverbs are going to train me how to raise my sons and daughters? He said, yeah, that's it. That's exactly it. That's what you need. Here's my challenge, Marcus. Here's my challenge. There's 31 chapters of Proverbs. Read one chapter a day. Take your notebook. Start writing down the Proverbs that are relevant to raising children. And you will fill your notebook in short order. And then go back again and read them again. And then start making the applications about how specifically you are to raise them. And do that. And I stumbled and I was frustrated and all the different things I learned at college and from reading the wrong sorts of books and all of that came flooding back into my mind. But the issue became this. Would I obey God? Was I going to put my ideas and the things that I learned over the Bible? Or was I going to have the Bible over the things that I learned in my experiences? Which would it be? And so, Cheryl and I resolved there in about Nathan's second year, when we were struggling through, quote, the terrible twos, that we were going to have the Bible be our only book. And we were going to do it. And we're going to trust God and persevere through it. Now, it got difficult. I'll be the first to confess that, not only with Nathan, but successive children as they came along. And we were having to discipline and train for the 15th time or the 20th time, all on the same day. And we're wondering, Lord, as we're pulling out our hair, does this work? And the answer is, it does. But you must persevere. You must persevere and you must follow God's method. I recalled when I was studying the Proverbs of an event that took place in my own life. In fact, it was that same house back in Florida when I climbed on the train. And I shouldn't have done that. I told you about last night. But in this case, I was just playing out in the backyard. I was about five years old at that time. I was having a good old time. And my father had come home from work that day and he came home for lunch. And he was sitting there at the kitchen table looking out through the windows at his little red-haired son out there playing in the backyard, when all of a sudden he got up, he came to the door, and he said, Marcus J. Servin, come in right now. Now, you know, as a kid, whenever your dad or your mom say your whole name, it's really serious, right? Or you're in some type of big trouble. And immediately, I had been trained by my father to come and I came. And I came right to him. And I looked up kind of wondering into his eyes, well, what is this all about? And he said, come inside right away. And I came in and he closed the door and he went back into his bedroom. And I could hear rummaging around out there and back there. And he came out to the kitchen and he had his big shotgun. And he went into the backyard and he started fishing around back along the fence line where the grass was tall. And all of a sudden I saw him point his gun down and bam. And my eyes were as wide as could be standing on the chair, looking out the back window when he pulled up a long six foot snake, a black one, a cottonmouth moccasin that he saw slither through the fence. while his little boy was out there playing. I started thinking about that story when I was a father, a young father, and wanting to train my children to what type of standard? First time obedience. not second time, not third time, not 15th time, not when dad finally got red in the face and lost his temper, but first time obedience. How was I going to do that? Well, in the Proverbs, we find various verses that speak about that. Proverbs 22, 15, folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him. Well, what about reasoning with the child? What about giving him all the reasons why he needs to obey? Why not explaining to him for the umpteenth time over? Why not warning him? Why not giving him rewards and punishments? Why not doing all these little things? Why not having him sit in the corner as a time out? I mean, why not all these things? Well, because they are not God's method. And they don't work. but God's methods do. Proverbs 29.15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame upon his mother. Proverbs 29.17 Discipline your son, and he will give you rest, he will give delight to your heart, Because you're using the rod of training, and I mean literally a switch or a rod when your child is young, to train him in first-time obedience, for your daughters too by that way, by training them to obey in first-time obedience, to come immediately when you call. Now, that means you can't be capricious or arbitrary. You can't show off to all your friends, look and see how I've got my son trained to obey and give a demonstration. That's being an abuser, I think, of who your son or your daughter is. But simply being very purposeful about what you ask them to do, so they know whenever you ask them, you're serious. And it's not showing off for grandma or grandpa, or it's not being arbitrary or capricious. It's being very truthful and genuine. My son, come here now. Or my son, please do this or do that. Or son, let me tell you what I'd like you to do while I'm away at work today. I'd like you to do this and I'd like you to do that. And then checking up on them afterwards. And the same for your daughters. That is training. Teaching is merely saying with your words, I want this or I want that, and not really training them to do it. And that's what you're after, to train. In Proverbs 22, verse 6, there is a distinction made, I believe, between training and teaching. Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Well, that's because you're not just telling them what to do, you're training them what to do. And you're ingraining it into their system so that they do it. It's the whole point. And so, in God's methods, there is great reward. Proverbs 20 verse 30, blows that wound cleanse away evil, strokes make clean the inmost parts. Or in Psalm 119 verse 67, before I was afflicted, David says, before I was afflicted, I went astray, but now I keep your words. Psalm 119, verse 71, It was good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes. Psalm 119, verse 75, I know, O Lord, that your rules are righteous, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me. Now, none of us like to be disciplined as a child. And frankly, as a dad, I didn't necessarily like to discipline. But it was my duty, and the question was, would I obey God, or would I disobey God? Would I be lazy, or would I be faithful to do what God had called me to do? And there are plenty of times when I wrestled with that, like I said earlier, when it was for the 15th time of disciplining with the rod, or the 20th time in that same day. But the issue is this, brothers. Will we persevere in doing what God has told us to do? And will we use the book that He has given? Notably, the book of Proverbs. That's my simple challenge to you. Whether you have young children, or whether you have older children, or whether at this point in your life you have no children, take the book of Proverbs, get an empty notebook, Read through it, and as you read through it, write down the relevant proverbs. And then go back over it and look for the applications and the implementation of how you will do it. Now, perhaps you're thinking to yourself, well, you know, I have a son who's 15 or 16. I have a daughter who's 18 or 20 who's still living in my house. Obviously, I can't use the rod. And the obvious conclusion is, yes, that is true. At this point, hopefully you've trained them to respect your word. That's the whole purpose of starting with the rod, so that they learn such things early. But even if you have an older son or daughter, and there's a bit of rebellion or strife between you and him, or between you and her, I would still urge you go back to the Proverbs, and to look to God's words and His method, and you will be properly instructed and trained. Because God will give you insights there of how you relate to your older sons and daughters just as much as He will to your younger ones. That's the challenge that I lay before you today. Now, just two days ago, I was in Walmart and I was getting some things there and I ran into this lady. She had two little boys. One was like six months and the other was two years old. And it was like this ongoing cacophony and fight all the way through the store. And it all came from the two-year-old boy who kept resisting his mother loudly and verbally. In fact, I realized as I was going through the store, getting one thing over here and getting one thing over there, I could tell what part of the store they were in by just the loud report that was coming up. And I said, oh, well, that family's over here in row 18. And then I could hear, no, they're over here now in row 25. And no, they're down there by the checkout stand. And it was horrid. Has that ever happened to you? You're in a store, a public place like that. And it's obvious that that mother or the father has no control over their son or daughter. And what was the lady doing? She was bargaining. Son, if you'll do what I say, then we'll get this at the checkout stand. Or she was repeating for, son, I want you to do this. Son, don't do that. And for the first time, the second time, the third time, the fourth time, the fifth time, getting red in the face, finally getting to the point of total exasperation, wanting to beat the son, but couldn't do it because she's in public, and all those sorts of things. But that's not the way God has called us to live. God has called us to train our children. So that we don't have to get angry. And we don't have to come to the point of exasperation. Because when we do, that's when we violate the principle in Ephesians 6 verse 4, where it instructs the fathers to not provoke their children to anger, but to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Well, how do you provoke your children? Well, first of all, be inconsistent so that you aren't reliable and steady and expected. If you're inconsistent, then they're never going to learn to know what you really want them to do. They're never going to know if you're serious. So just be inconsistent. Or secondly, just always lose your temper. And then you're training them in all the wrong things to do. First of all, you're training them not to obey you. And you're training them to finally blow up and lose their temper. And that's the way they're going to grow up and live. You've trained them wrongly. That's provoking your children. But we're called to do otherwise. We're called to discipline them, to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. which involves this training, this method that God has given. And let's go back to Psalm 78 and finish it up. Verses 5 through 7 of Psalm 78. He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn. and arise and tell them to their children, so they should set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments." Here is a specific way that we're to influence future generations. You want to influence your grandchildren and your great-grandchildren? Well, then train your children well. Be diligent in doing the things that God has instructed you to do. And what are to use? Well, he established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel. First thing you do, you teach them the law of God, the Ten Commandments. and the applications of the Ten Commandments. For what purpose? Well, there are three basic uses of the law of God. The first is as a light to expose sin and to point the sinner to the Savior. For example, in Romans 3 verse 20 it says, For by the works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes the knowledge of sin. Well, when we have an eternal fixed standard, such as the law of God, then you're going to bump up against it very readily in your life, and you're going to begin to learn, I'm not measuring up. I am a sinner. And so the law is a light. It exposes our sin, points us to Christ. Secondly, it is a curb to restrain wickedness in this fallen world. That's one of the roles of the Church of Jesus Christ, which is to call the world back to that fixed eternal standard and to recognize that if there wasn't such a law, things would be totally messed up and in total anarchy. But because there is a law of God, it is wrong to commit adultery, and it is wrong to steal from your neighbor, and it is wrong to murder, and those things are fixed. And so we can be thankful to God that He's given us an eternal standard. And to the degree that our own laws are modeled after the law of God, then so much the better society is. It is a curb, a restraint. Lastly, it is a rule to guide the believer in knowing how to live. So, a light that exposes sin and points you to Christ. A restraint or a curb that keeps even the wicked people from doing things that they know or sense they ought not to do. And thirdly, a rule to guide the believer in how you should live. Now, it's the last one that a lot of Christians have trouble with. You mean to tell me that in this age of grace there still is law? Yes, that's what I mean to tell you. That God's law continues on. Jesus said it very clearly in Matthew chapter 5, verse 17 and 18, that not one jot or tittle is to be taken away from the law. We also find in Paul's writings in Romans 3 verse 31, he says, do we then overthrow the law by this faith? By no means. On the contrary, we uphold the law. So the law has been given as a way of living for the Christian. And God has told us in Jeremiah 31, That when we become those who are recipients in the new birth, he writes the law of God on our heart. And so in that respect, there's an ongoing element to the law. It's called the third use of the law. And so we instruct our children in that. And in Psalm 78, we see that that testimony in Jacob, a law that's been appointed should carry on in our life as well. that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children." So, it's your goal, as a Christian dad, you want to influence multiple generations. You want to see your children walk with God. You want to see your grandchildren walk with God. You want to see your great-grandchildren walk with God. Well then, start teaching these things. Tell them the law. Tell them about the Savior, who is the one who gave the law in the first place and kept it perfectly so that sinners like you and me could then have our lives changed and live according to its principles and standards. Now, let me just say that this is not mechanistic, it's not behavioristic, it's not manipulative. All these things are done by faith. And so, Christians, I've learned long ago, and I'm guilty of this too, we're looking for a simple way. Give me a formula. Give me a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 step and have everything turn out perfectly on the other end and I'm happy. Well, I'm sorry to say it's not like that in life. God calls us to be humble men who live by faith and in more areas than many in the area of marriage and in the area of raising our children. It should drive you to your knees. It drives me to my knees. And calling out upon God and saying, I don't know what to do next, Lord, teach me. And He teaches me through His words about what should be done. Verse 7, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments. How did the families of the Old Testament era and also of the early church then train their children? Well, what did they do? Well, by daily instruction led by the Father. Yes, the mother was a willing helper, no doubt. But it was the primary responsibility of the fathers to do this. Secondly, through weekly Sabbath keeping at the synagogue or the temple or the church. They had that regular pattern of being in the Lord's house. For the Hebrew men and boys, it was three times a year. They were to journey down to Jerusalem and be there in the temple. for the Feast of Israel. And beyond that, they had their local synagogues, where they worshipped every Sabbath day, or in their own homes before the synagogues. And eventually we see the Ekklesia, or the churches, those gathering places, where the assembly of believers would come, and they would have public worship. And so you have daily instruction, you have weekly Sabbath keeping, and you have yearly participation in all the various feasts that were required by the Lord. And then you have this ongoing, 24-7, regular involvement in all of life's circumstances. The decisions, the crises, the providences, all those different things that God brings your way, having your children walk alongside with you in the midst of it. When's the last time when you've been faced with a very important decision and you're not sure what to do? And you gather your family around and you lay it all out on the table and you say, we need to pray together and seek God. That should be something you do as a family. seeking His will, seeking His instruction, asking for His wisdom. What a thing for your sons and your daughters to see you as a dad, humble yourself before the sovereign King of the universe and say, Lord, I don't know what to do, crying upon you. They clearly see a man who is humble before Him. And that communicates powerfully. Now, I want you to notice that the context of Psalm 78 was some fathers who had failed. That faithless generation who wandered in the wilderness for 40 years, who abused Moses and Aaron, and who violated the first, second, third, fourth, and fifth commandments, as well as all the others. And God cursed them. They were not able to come into the land. Yet, in this amazing demonstration of God's grace, their children were raised up by failure, flaky parents to go into the land. To me, that is a picture of grace and mercy that God would use Even the stiff necked and unfaithful fathers of that day to prepare a group of sons and daughters to go into the promised land. And in fact, in verse eight, Asaph instructs those who read this psalm, that they should not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast. This is part of telling the stories of the dark saints of God as well. Not only the successes, but also the failures. And so we tell our sons and our daughters of the places in our life, in past generations, and even in our life where we've made a wrong decision. and we suffered the consequences of it, and God disciplined us, and we repented, and we came back to His narrow way. We tell them such things so they can see that Christianity is real. Now, just to give you a closing illustration of a man who was deeply influenced by his father and whose father followed this methodology, let me tell you a few things about John G. Payton. And John Payton was a Scotsman. He was a Presbyterian. The stories come out of this book published by Vision Forum, The Adventure of Missionary Heroism. Great book filled with all kinds of missionary stories. You should read this book to your children. It's really ideal and wonderful. John Payton was raised in Scotland. But he didn't become a missionary just springing up as a boy. He was raised up like all sorts of boys. He had all sorts of issues in his life. But the one thing that really dominated John Payton's life was the diligent faith of his father. In fact, Payton wrote later on, when he was in some very difficult times in his journal, about how he used to, as a boy, used to go and spy on his father while his father was praying. He would wait right outside the door while his father was in his bedroom and he would put his ear to the door and he would listen to his dad intercede for his whole family. And sometimes that would be in a more public setting where his father in leading family worship would then pray for all of his family members and for all the neighbors and all the children would sit there and listen to their dad. This is what he said. If everything else in religion were by some accident blotted out, my soul would go back to those days of reality. For 60 years, my father kept up the practice of family prayer. no day passed by without it, no hurry for business, no arrival of friends, no trouble or sorrow, no joy or excitement ever prevented us from kneeling round the table or in the family altar while our High Priest, the Father, offered himself and his children to God. Now, Peyton's father was a simple laborer. He didn't have any professional skills. He wasn't a learned man, but he was a deeply spiritual man who influenced his son in a dramatic way so that when John Peyton finally had received his training and his calling and his ordination, and he was off to minister in the New Hebrides Islands in the midst of the land filled with cannibals, he had this remarkable experience with his dad. He's walking away to go on his missionary journeys. And he writes, My dear father, walk with me the first six miles of the way. His counsel and his tears and heavenly conversation on that parting journey are fresh in my heart as if it had been but yesterday. And tears are on my cheeks as freely now as then. Whenever memory steals me away to the scene, his tears fell fast. and frequent when our eyes met each other in looks for which speech was completely in vain. He grasped my hand firmly in his for a minute in silence and then saw and then solemnly said, May God bless you, my son, your father's God prosper you and keep you from all evil. And hastening on my way, I vowed deeply and often by the help of God to live and act so as never to grieve or dishonor such a father and mother as He had given me." That's the influence of a simple spiritual man who loves God. Now, perhaps you're saying to yourself, I am a failure in all these areas. Well, Let me say that God uses you in your imperfections, and in your inconsistencies, and in your own limitations, and in your past failures, because God used even this forsaken generation to be the very means that raised up a faithful generation to go into the land. That fact just doesn't escape me. That God uses broken men and women to communicate the truth so that their sons and daughters lives are profoundly changed forever. And that gives me hope. that God can use somebody like me. And my sons and daughters can stand on my shoulders. And they can go farther than I ever did. And by the grace of God, may they do so. So, think on these things, brothers. Take the book of Proverbs. Get your notebook. Start writing them down. And drinking in the truth and the method that God has given to raise up a godly seed that will go into the next generation. Let's pray together. Father, we pray that we'll do this by faith. We pray, Lord, that as broken men, we will not continue to make rationalizations and excuses about why we can't do it or why we don't have enough time to do it or why we've tried before and we've failed, but we'll just persevere in doing it by your strength, based upon the sure and certain foundation of the same God who saved us, also promises to keep us safe. We pray, God, on the basis of that foundation, we will go forward by faith and commit ourselves to your truth and to your methods and obey you in the teachings you've given us in your scriptures. And we pray it all now in the name of Jesus, our Lord. Amen.