shall we turn once again to the letter of Apostle Paul to the Corinthians, 1 Corinthians chapter 7, and we shall read verses one and two. Now concerning the things whereof he wrote unto me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. We continue with our studies on this epistle, this letter to the Corinthians, and our title today, this evening, is Is Marriage Your Calling? Is Marriage Your Calling? So in this letter, So Apostle Paul is responding to the question that the saints in Corinth have raised. He can write only that which the Lord reveals to him. but that which he has not been given a direct revelation is using his conscience. That too he proceeds to write with the permission given to him by the Lord to speak what is in his conscience. We look at verse 6, 1 Corinthians chapter 7 verse 6, but I speak this by permission, by permission and not of commandment. It is good for a man not to touch a woman. In simple words, Apostle Paul writes saying that it is good for a man not to marry. He does not say it is bad to marry, but it is good, good not to marry, which means it is for a good reason. It means there is a good reason attached to it. But he immediately adds in verse 2, nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband. It is good for a man not to touch a woman, meaning not to marry a woman, have physical intimacy by marriage, but in order to avoid fornication, sex outside marriage, illicit sexual relationship, let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband. Marriage therefore prevents fornication and adultery. So it is good not to marry, but not to the expense of committing fornication. If a person cannot and does not have the calling to single life, celibacy, he or she should marry, should have his own wife and have her own husband. Now, once married, the word of God goes to say in verse 3, let the husband render, that is give or yield, unto the wife due benevolence, that is kindness, goodwill, and likewise also the wife unto the husband. This means there must be a mutual give and take between the husband and the wife. Verse four. The wife had not power of her own body, but the husband. And likewise also, the husband had no power of his own body, but the wife. Meaning the wife has no authority or right over her own body, neither do the man have authority or right over his own body. Authority in regard to what? Authority or right to refuse having physical intimacy in a marriage relationship. One must yield to the other. A wife or a husband should not say, this is my body, I do what I want and when I want. When a husband has a need, it may not be the need of the woman. Similarly, when the wife has a need, it may not be so with the husband. Tiredness, moods, anxiety, and many other things can make a marriage partner withdrawn. But here comes the necessity to understand each other's need. and yield and render and give. In fact, physical intimacy on a marriage bed done with love and caring can be much beneficial for tiredness, for anxiety, for sadness and sorrow. Touch is a wonderful healer and husband and wife should not forget this and bury themselves in their own cocoon. Marriage bed is not the time to bring in arguments. Marriage bed is not the time to bring in solutions and anger or the problems that took place at work or with family members. Marriage bed is not the place to settle feuds. Once in bed, all other things must be kept out of our mind. It is time to get together, appreciate one another, thank one another, praise one another, find comfort and strength in one another. Allow nothing to part you in thoughts and in deeds. Marriage, bed, is your temple to be of one heart and mind. What God has put together, let no man, not any bad experience of the day, put you apart. Where is the place that a husband and wife find themselves best together after the long hours of busy day, it is in the bed. Do not defile your bed. Verse 5, defraud e not one another. Our authorized version uses a stronger word, defraud. Now the new version uses deprive. Do not defraud. It's a strong word. Do not rob one another. Do not rob one another's right that brings joy, that brings happiness, that brings pleasure and comfort and intimacy between the husband and wife. Verse 5 continues, except it be with consent. So do not rob one another except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourself to fasting and prayer, and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. Paul says, you can have a time to abstain from physical intimacy. Do this with consent, with mutual agreement for a short time. And when you do this, do this with the reason to fast and pray. Do this together. Be in it together and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you for the lack of self-control. Don't remain without coming together, without resuming your physical intimacy for a long period of time. Why? Because Satan can tempt you to fantasize and get attracted towards another for this one purpose to have physical intimacy. One of the marriage partners can become so preoccupied with spiritual things That this person totally neglects the other person's need to come together. The word of God says, be careful, be careful. All don't have the same amount of self-control. This person can be tempted by person to go and commit fornication or adultery. So, we must be careful. In verse 2, he writes, nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. But now, having got married, one person, if that person is so preoccupied with praying and fasting, that the other marriage partner is deprived of physical intimacy with his beloved. Well, he says this is dangerous. This can be dangerous. Why? Satan will take advantage of this and the one who is weak will fall into temptation and can be led into adultery. Being over spiritual will not help. Separating from your husband or your wife will not help unless it is agreed by both and that too for a short time, short time. Then Apostle Paul comes to explain why he said in the first place, why he said this in the first place. Verse one, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. He says in verse seven as to why, why? For I would that all men were even as myself. Paul was not married. By choice, he remained unmarried. He was sure that marriage was not his calling. He had the right to marry. We all have the right to marry, but is that your calling? Yes, we all have the right to marry, we are free to marry, but is that your calling? Paul says in 1 Corinthians chapter 9 verse 5 and 6, have we not power? Don't we have choice? Don't we have liberty to lead or to accompany about with a sister, a wife, as well as the other apostles? Like the other apostles, don't we have the right? Don't we have the liberty? and as the brethren of the Lord and Kephas, and he continues, but every man had this power, a proper gift of God. One after this manner, that is back again, I'm going back again on chapter seven, verse seven, but every man had this proper gift of God. One after this manner and another after that. So we all have the choice, the freedom to get married, but then he says, every person has his proper gift of God. One after this manner, another after that. And I have chosen, Paul is trying to say, to be unmarried. This is my calling. But he says, every man has his own calling, his proper gift. He nevertheless goes to encourage the unmarried and the widows not to get married. Verse 8 and 9. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, that is, they cannot control their feelings, their desires, Let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn. Let no one burn with the desires, he's saying, of having a partner in life. Burn with the desires to have intimacy with the opposite sex. And this, he says, with the view again to avoid fornication. Let each one have their own wife or their husband. The next thing the Word of God says to the saints in Corinth is namely to the married. Verse 10, and unto the married I command, yet not I, But the Lord, let not the wife depart from her husband. Verse 11, but and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And let not the husband put away his wife. Marriage is for life. A husband is not to put away his wife at the first problem he encounters with her. A wife is not to run away to her mother and depart from her husband at the first opportunity she feels uncomfortable with her husband. Problems are bound to arise. All manner of problems. Marriage is a challenge. There could be poverty. No proper house. no proper job, but marriage is not only for the rich and to the well-to-do people. There will be problems of agreement and disagreements, likes and dislike, and cultural issues, Marriage is a choice. You choose to marry the person you want to live with him or with her for life. You choose because you love that person. And most of the marriage failures are with people who fall in love, who make a choice, demonstrates 100% acceptance. And then within week or weeks, of marriage, this person is a different person altogether. Love, acceptance, the time of being on cloud nine, the laughter, the fun, telling everyone about what a lovely person I have found, all goes in the bin. Finish. Where did that love go? This can be spoken as carnal love, worldly love, which we hear sung by the pop entertainment singers. And this is what Christian young people making a choice to marry must be careful about. They must be very careful. We must not be carried away by what the world teaches us about love. and marriage. You know, we hear people say first have a good job, then have a house, have a good bank balance, have a car, and then think of getting married. But what do you do in the meantime? Fornicate? have relationship with the opposite sex just for fun? The word of God says in 1 Corinthians 7, verse 2, nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Because the world puts some priorities for marriage, does not mean that Christians should follow it. God has instituted marriage with different priorities. Today, the world looks at marriage in a very different way than from how God looks at it. The world looks at marriage with the idea of security and comfort. I will marry if that man or a woman have enough money. I will marry a person that has a good job, who has a car and a house and so on. This marriage is not based on love, but on money, on security. The marriage that God has instituted is one of agape love, agape relationship. The marriage that God has instituted is based on sacrificial relationship. It is based on giving and living in unity. It is based on submission and caring. The Lord knows the seriousness and the consequences of free sex or sexual revolution. Today, our society is reaping what we have sown. The lust of sex has no boundaries. Once a person feels full with adult heterosexual sex, they move on to desire man for a man, woman for a woman. Not satisfied, they will seek to go after little children and even animals. The perverse heart will take in anything that their evil imaginations call for. God instituted marriage for our good. God in his wisdom created man and a woman, just two genders. God brought them together and they became one flesh. Now we can clearly see that God did not tell them after he brought them together to become one, he did not tell them leave the Garden of Eden and go and become one in another country, carry on your life in some other place A couple that gets married don't have to leave their father, mother, their church, their synagogues, their town, their job, and go far away from them to become one flesh, to become intimate. A couple can become physically one, one flesh, even with 20 people around in a house. All you need is privacy, a room of your own. Nowhere in the scriptures we are told that so-and-so got married and they left their throne, they left their home, they left their temple duty, their village or town and went to a different city because God asked them to do so. Eli's sons and His daughter-in-laws were still in Shiloh and continued to work in the temple. Samuel's sons, he sent them to be judges in Beersheba. Yes, so for a reason, for the job that was allotted to them, they had to move there. And so it is with people. Sometimes the husband and wife move to different places, even different countries, because of jobs. But they move together. So we see in Eli's son that their wives did not depart from them, neither did their sons depart from their family and their work. Look at verse 10, and unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, let not the wife depart from her husband. but and if she depart let her remain unmarried or she be reconciled to a husband and let not the husband put away his wife. So wife departing or a man putting away his wife is a very negative thing. This must not happen, not done. The man and the woman married to one another, having become one flesh, nothing can separate them. They may live all by themselves or with 10 other people in the house. They may be here or there and even if they are separated, because of war, because of job, or because of sickness, one in the hospital, nothing can separate that which is joined together. Marriage is more than physical. It is a joining of the hearts and the spirit. So one don't have to move out into an island of their own to show their oneness as marriage partners. You got to bloom. where you are planted. For God has a purpose. God has a purpose where he wants to plant a couple. In God's sovereign plan for his people, he knows what he's doing. Jeremiah 10, verse 23, O Lord, I know that the way of man is not in himself. It is not in man that walketh to direct his steps. especially so when it divides two people. No. God has a plan. He has a purpose. And we got to seek his purpose. Psalm 37 verse 23, the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord and he delighted in his way. It is the Lord who directs dear friends and therefore we must submit to him and his ways. The place does not make a difference in marriage. What makes a difference is love towards one another, commitment to one another. People cannot destroy your marriages. If you allow others to take charge of your marriage and they influence you to do contrary to God's word, yes, then it can. But it is a marriage partner that will either make or break the marriage. You do not run away from your marriage partner because of poverty, because of culture, unless, of course, they are eating flesh, human flesh, or causing you to sin and go against God's word. So please don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying that you should forcefully stay in a setup that is making you sin. Neither is the Lord commanding us to do so. The command is to flee sin. and it is important. We cannot make a norm that you got to be in the house with the rest of the family or you got to move. No, we got to see what the will of the Lord is and your circumstances. Marriage is a challenge. Marriage is not only to procreate, but to love and become one in flesh, in mind and heart. The marriage vow is not a vow that deceives, for it clearly says, I take you to be my wife or my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part. According to God's holy law, in the presence of God, I make this vow. So, the vow that we make is not fantasy. It is a reality. It understands the challenges that it poses in marriage life. And so understanding this, we make a choice. We make a choice. So marriage, that's why we got to ask ourselves. We are making a serious vow. We got to ask ourselves, is marriage my calling? Am I called to live this challenging life? You see, this means circumstances cannot and should not break up marriages. Challenging circumstances is no reason for a marriage partner to depart from one another unless there is violence, unless there is unbearable oppression and a person is driven to commit suicide. Even when a person commits adultery, that partner can still be forgiven, still be forgiven. Let not the wife depart from her husband, and let not the husband put away his wife. Today's world gives us the understanding that once a person is married, they should cut off with their parents and family members. Actually, the enemies of God and his word has, in a very clever way, brought this idea of freedom and the idea of independence. And so, from the age of 17 or 18, a young person is encouraged to leave the house and live on their own. This is done so that the youths will live with youths and do what the youth want to do. This is done so that the young men and women will break away from their family traditions and from their religious traditions and do what the world will inspire them to do. Now, when a young man who is brought up without having any link with the family attachment, they would utterly shun the idea of living with their parents. So being brainwashed by the idea of freedom and independence, living as a community will be a thing to be abhorred. The idea of departing will not hurt at all. The idea of departing when challenges come will be the most natural thing to do. Let me get out of here. I want to be independent. I want to be free. However, from the commandment given to the people by God, we understand that children's responsibility towards parents continue even after they get married. The fifth commandment says, honor thy father and thy mother. Solomon, as a king of Israel, honored his mother. 1 Kings 2 verse 19, the Sheba therefore went unto King Solomon to speak unto him for Adonijah and the king rose up to meet her and bowed himself unto her and sat down on his throne and caused a seat to be set for the king's mother and she sat on his right hand. He honored her, although he was a king. The Bible says in Proverbs chapter 23 verse 22, hearken unto thy father that beget thee and despise not thy mother when she is old. Proverbs chapter 30 verse 11, there is a generation that cursed their father and doth not bless their mother. We should not be surprised when the nation departs from God and his laws, when the nation takes young people away from the Word of God, starves them, starves them, and does not allow them to drink in the pure water from the fountain of the living God in Christ Jesus, there will be a generation that curses their father and does not bless their mother. You know, the Pharisees, the religious teachers, tried to twist the commands of God to make people follow their man-made traditions. They encouraged men to break the command of God, which says, honor their parents. And Jesus said to them, we find this in Mark 7, full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own traditions. Jesus says, for Moses said, honor thy father and thy mother, and whoso cursed father or mother, let him die the death. But you say, if a man shall say to his father or mother, it is korban, that is to say a gift, by whatever thou mightest be profited by me, he shall be free, and he suffer him, allow him no more to do ought for his father or his mother. making the word of God of none effect through traditions which he have delivered and many such things like things do he. So how are the Pharisees breaking the command of the Lord? The Lord says honor your father and your mother but the Pharisees began to teach saying the gift The money, the substance, or the support by which a man must help his parents, if you give that as korban, as gift, as dedicated to God, then men need not honor their parents. They are free. The money by which you are to support your old parents, if you give it to God as a gift, you are made free from honoring your father and your mother. You see, they made people believe that money given to God can give them the freedom to break God's command. Money plays a big role, dear friends, big role. That is why if you give children money right from their age, small little age, and as they grow up, they know that they have got a power of money with them. They will easily reject you. They will easily dishonor you. Why? They've got a strength of the money that they have. You see, well, I can go. If not, the government will give me help, you see, and so I will leave. Who wants you? Who wants to be under you? You see, so we must check what is our values and our beliefs based on materialism or godliness, worldly or biblical. The Lord Jesus Christ says to them, you make the word of God of none effect through your traditions which you have delivered and many such like things you do. What man would do such a thing? A man who wants to have his own way of life and not become responsible for the welfare of his parents, he would easily ease his conscience by giving some small donation to the Pharisees, perhaps in honor of God. He feels, oh, I have done my bit. After all, God understands. I've done this to God. Yet others would run 50 miles away from their parents to avoid any responsibility towards their parents. Yet others would hand over their widowed parents or even their parents to the church. The Word of God commands saying in 1 Timothy chapter 5 verse 16, if any man or a woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them and let not the church be charged that it may relieve them that are widows indeed. So don't pass your responsibility on the church, on others. Let them, that is the family members, give aid to the widows. Now, it must also be taken into account that a parent can have dementia or mental illness and it becomes absolutely difficult to manage. Now, in this case, to place them with specialized people to care for them would be the right thing to do. Again, the scripture says in Ephesians 6 1, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, which is a first commandment with promise, that it may be well with thee, and thou mayst live long on the earth. Colossians chapter three, verse 20. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Why are these commandments given right from the Old Testament to the New Testament? So that the children still be attached to the parents. in the right sense of course, you see, so there will be a continuity of the things they have been taught by the Lord and that is so very important. What they have given to us, we give back to them in their old age, in their sickness, in their poverty, in their disability. Remember as children we were not able to do many things, but they did that to us, to you and me. You and I cannot do this if we break away from them entirely. You'll remember one of the disciples of Jesus wanted fully to follow Jesus. But he said, but first let me go and bury my father. It was the responsibility of a good son to look after his parents in their old age. It was the responsibility of the son to care for his parents till their last breath. So he tells Jesus, allow me first to go and bury my father. Not that his father was dead, but he was saying, let me fulfill my obligation. And Jesus rebuked him, not because he did not want him to fulfill the obligation towards his parents, but he was rejecting the Savior. Rejecting the Savior. He was putting away the very God that gave him the command to honor his parents. Following Christ Jesus makes us more faithful towards our parents, to do good to them. Love your neighbor as yourself. Look, how could a tribe survive if every couple that got married left their home, went far away to make their own family? The tribe of Abraham, just a couple, started with just a couple, Abraham and his wife Sarah. They became into 66 when they left for Egypt. The tribe of Israel lived together. If each couple separated, the moment they got married, there would not be any tribe left on this earth. It is similarly in the church. There are only few couples here who are not yet married and then they get married and they go with the belief that they have to go leave the church, leave the place, go far away. Who will be left in the church? So there's something wrong in the thinking. It is not biblical for sure. The whole purpose of Satan is to divide and rule. He does not like people coming together as a family and expand this family. On the other hand, Jesus forms a family, a nation, a kingdom. The Lord Jesus Christ saves people from sin and establishes his church. And we are told that the disciples lived together as a community, sharing everything they had. They lived together. Surely there were couples that were saved and they shared house with others. We know that some disciples were already married before they were called by Jesus to follow them. They live together. The very idea of the church is about a bride and a bridegroom. But this bride and the bridegroom does not live alone. There are other members of the bridegroom. The whole church is a bride of Christ. Besides, the idea of the church is like the house. The house is not made of only one or two stones, no. There are a whole lot of stones that goes into making a house. They are all laid and built up as a house with Jesus. as a cornerstone. The whole house is the church. The church is a community. A person who is born again is not called to live a lonesome life, an individualistic life. We don't live an individualistic life, independent life. This is how the world, with the strength of money, have been living. The idea of individualism, independent lifestyle, is of the world. It has entered into the church from the world and from worldly people. Sadly, it has become a mainstay in the church, and this is because, before our conversion, And after our conversion, we have continued to live in this manner. Be careful, dear friends, and especially young people, do not be deceived by an individualistic philosophy. It is not of Christ. The triune God himself is three in one, and these three, the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit, they are one in heart and mind. Jesus prayed for his disciples that they may be one even as we are one. Let not the wife depart from her husband, and let not the husband put away his wife. We are not to break away, but unite. The question we are asking is, is marriage your calling? If marriage is your calling, then you are getting into relationship not to depart from your husband, not to put away your wife, but to form a union and live as a unit. God did not establish marriage to live as individuals, but as community. There are only two most important commandments. As you and I know, thou shall love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is a first and great commandment. The second is, like unto it, thou shall love thy neighbor as thyself. This love of neighbors begin with husband and wife, and it extends to the rest of the family members, and the human race, but if you cannot appreciate the love that your immediate family gives and you cannot love them, how will you love your marriage partner and the world at large? Before getting married, check Check if your mind and your heart is in line with God's calling to get married. Marriage is not something that changes like the fashions. The fashions come and go, they keep changing all the time, but marriage is for life. It will remain for life only if we are ready to adapt and give heed to the principles laid by God. Let us pray. O gracious Father, be Thou our strength, O Lord, Help us to examine ourselves. And we know, Lord, when we come to Thee, Thou will show us the way. Thou will give us the courage to stand by Thy word. Help us to humble ourselves before Thee, dear Father, and to walk in the way that Thou has shown to us. May Thy name be exalted in our lives. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.