Book of Ephesians chapter 5. I may go to 1st Peter chapter 3 as well if you want to go ahead and find your place there. Ephesians chapter 5 and then we will also possibly make it to 1st Peter chapter 3 but we'll see about that here in just a little bit. But Ephesians chapter 5, we'll begin there in verse 25 as we talk about on Sunday nights going through our family life series and what the Bible says about the family. And we mentioned a number of different things last Sunday night. what the institution of the family was and where it began, how God created it between man and a woman and a number of other different things. And so we learned a lot last Sunday night about how the Christian home started and what it's made up of and all those different kinds of things. Well here in Ephesians chapter 5 we are going to see another New Testament example of how the Lord describes the the Christian home and what all is going on there. And of course between the husband and wife and the Bible lists a number of different things that the husband and the wife are supposed to be, supposed to be for each other. And we can relate this and the Bible also shows us how we can relate these things to Christ and the church and as the church is the bride of Christ and that the Lord Jesus is the head of the church and those types of things. And so we see that analogy that the Lord makes in Ephesians chapter 5. And we can see a number of different things that God says about the responsibilities of both husband and wife in the marriage relationship. And some things also in the book of Genesis that we didn't quite cover last week, but we will get to some of that. But I think in Ephesians chapter 5 and we begin here in verse 25 and we are going to focus on tonight on what the Bible says about the husbands. I believe that is a good place to start since the Bible does show us in the scriptures and as God founded that in the book of Genesis that the husband was to be the head of the home. and we see that here in Ephesians chapter 5 as well. And so as we are going to begin we want to make sure that what I want to do is begin with the husbands and say what does the Bible say is the duty of the husband to be towards his wife. I believe since the husband is the head of the home, that was the best place to start. And so that's what we want to look at this evening. And so as we begin there, well, let's just go ahead and begin in verse 22, and then we'll run down to verse 25. But I want to really zero in on verse 25 and following. But let's begin there in verse 22. The Bible says, Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, let the wives be unto their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it. And so as we look in Ephesians chapter 5 and we begin there in verse 25 there's a number of different things I want us to see. And of course as we look at these verses I believe as we look across America today one of the things that we can definitely see is that we see homes that are in distress all across the country. In distress all across the country because I believe that the devil has done a really good job of keeping husbands and wives of course from being towards each other what they ought to be. And when that happens and when that takes place, of course it begins to throw things all out of whack. And we find ourselves being stressed out. We find ourselves ready to quit and ready to give up and throw in the towel and those kinds of things. Now there's many different reasons why those things do. I'm not getting into all that tonight. I just want us to see this evening that whenever we as husbands, when we are following the example that Christ has set for us to be in our lives, and that we are being the men of God, that God has called us to be, the husbands that God has called us to be, that it can have a tremendous effect on the home. And I know it goes vice versa. I've heard people say, well, you know, marriage is 50-50, but I just disagree with that a little bit. I just believe it's 100-100. I think both people should put in 100 percent, not just both people putting in 50 percent. I think that's kind of the problem. And sometimes you just get people putting in, they just, one says, well I'll put in 50, another one, but I understand, I get what they're probably talking about that, you know, it's that, you know, both sides have to put in some. Well they do, but both sides need to put in all that they can for things to be successful. And so I believe we just put in 100 and we put in 100. But all across America I think what we see is we see that of course the Christian home is breaking down, falling apart in many different aspects because we're not just sticking true to God's Word and following the pattern that God has set forth. But you know whenever we do we find and we see that God has set forth such a tremendous example for us to live our Christian lives by, where our Christian homes can be so productive and be so joyful and so happy. And we see here in verse 25 that the Bible says, as we begin with the husbands, the Bible says husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and He gave himself for it. I think that's one of the very key factors that I think that we see in a Christian home and in a Christian marriage is that when husbands, whenever we are loving our wives as Christ loved the church. Now let's think about that. Now the Bible says husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church. He didn't say husbands love somebody else's wife like Christ loved the church, right? He didn't say husbands love some mistress somewhere. He didn't say husbands love whoever it is that you start falling for. No, the Bible says husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church. God has a desire for men to love their wives. And so, you know, when men will love their wives as Christ has loved the church, that can make a tremendous impact in the marriage. But when that's not happening, When that's not happening, when that's not taking place, then what you see is you see that the wife begins to feel like she's not receiving everything that her husband has to give and that she feels like she is that You know, she's hurting on the inside. She feels sorrowful on the inside because she feels like that her husband perhaps maybe doesn't love her because he's not giving her exactly everything that she knows that he possibly can. For whatever reason, he's holding back, whether it's through anger, through jealousy, or because she said something, done something, whatever it is. But we see here that the Bible says husbands love your wife even as Christ also loved the church. And so we think about that. What kind of love is that? That kind of love, the word that's used there is the word agape, and that word agape there is the same kind of love that Christ has towards us, and that would be why the Bible says, husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church. And so what kind of love does the Lord Jesus have towards us? Well, His love towards us is unconditional, is it not? I mean, doesn't God love us despite who we are and despite what we do? Of course He does. He loves us every day, even though we sin every day. His love for us never wavers. Those that die lost and go to hell will die lost and go to hell with Jesus loving them. And so the Lord Jesus, He loves the world, He loves His people, and He tells the husbands in the home that you need to love your wives, even as Christ loved the church. Love your wives unconditionally. That means when she comes home and she's not in a good mood, you know what you need to do? You need to love her. You need to love her unconditionally. You know why? Because one of these days you're going to come home in a bad mood, and you're going to need her to love you too. Does that make sense? Yeah. Well, hey, listen, we all have our days and we all have our moments. And I tell you what, whenever we love each other as Christ has loved us, I tell you what, it also has a way of not just demonstrating the love, but it has a way of making the other person see and feel that much more special. And the Bible says, husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and he gave himself for it. So we see an unconditional love, we see a forgiving love, we see all different kinds of things here, but we also see, he says, that he gave himself for it. You know, the Lord Jesus loved us so much that He gave Himself for us. As the bride of Christ and the Lord Jesus is the husband, we have the Lord Jesus, our husband, in essence, loves us so much that the Bible says that He died, He gave Himself, He gave everything that He had, He gave His own life for His bride. And the Bible says, listen, as husbands we ought to love our wives even the same way. We should be willing to give all that we have, even death itself. But we should be willing to give all that we have. The Bible says that he gave himself for it. lot of men that will, they'll give their wives something, but they won't give their wives themselves. They'll give their wives maybe, they'll give their wives whether it could be possessions, maybe they'll give their wives money, they'll give their wives different things, but they won't. But what are they looking for? They're looking for love, they're looking for time, they're looking for attention, they're looking at all these kinds of things. And this is what they cherish and want the most. And you know the money and the possessions and the wealth and all that kind of stuff as we talked about this morning is just superficial. What is it that our wives are looking for? Well our wives are looking for our love. Our wives are looking for our attention. Our wives are looking for our time and a host of other things. The Bible says that the Lord Jesus He gave Himself for His bride. He gave Himself for the church. He died for it. He gave everything that He had for it. And we think about us as husbands. Are we giving our wives ourselves? Are we giving our wives what they desire? And what is their desire? I'm not talking about material things. I'm talking about are we giving them us? Because when we got married, isn't that what they wanted? I think for most people anyways, the spouses, the couples married each other because they loved each other. And them is what they desire. They didn't marry each other because they, I guess some people marry somebody else because they got money. I guess some people marry somebody else because they're popular. But when two people come together and then marry because they love each other, their desire is for them to, for them just to come together and know each other and give each other their time and love and attention. That's what they desire, and that's what our wives, I believe, desire with all my heart. They just desire us, and they want us. They want our attention. They want our love. They want us as men to be around. Listen, I think sometimes we can be around so many other different things. We can get so involved in so many different things that we forget that the most important things that are so special and so dear to us are right there at the house. You know, I think we've got to be careful that we don't that we don't waste our time gravitating towards so many other things that's out here in this world when we have a wife at home or kids at home that desire to have their dad, that desire to have their husband there with them so that they can love on them and know them and grow with them and learn from them. And I think that's what the family needs. I think that's what the family desires. And so the Bible says, Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and He gave Himself for it. When the Lord Jesus died for His church, He gave everything that He had. As men, are we giving our bride, are we giving our wives everything that we have on the inside? Are we in essence coming to this place where we say, you know what, the most important thing in my life, of course, is the Lord, and the second most important person in my life is my wife and my kids. The Lord, the Bible says, He gave Himself for His bride. He gave Himself for the church. And so, man, are we doing that for our wives? Are we giving ourselves, are we offering ourselves over to our spouses? This agape love, this strongest word that can be used for love. And that's the same kind of love that the Lord Jesus has for us and it should be the same kind of love that we have for our spouses. That love that is unconditional. That love that is that love that is forgiving, that love that is greater than any other kind of love that there is. And the Bible says, sorry, that that's the kind of love that we should have towards our wives, that agape love there. Now there's different words that are used in the Bible for love. Now the Lord didn't ask us to love our wives with a phileo type of love, like a friend has towards a friend. No, because when we have a marriage relationship, the love is different. There's different types of love. And the Bible says, listen, husbands, when you're going to love your wife, you're going to give her everything that you have. You're going to give her yourself. And I think one of the reasons why that we see families in such turmoil today is because we see that the husband and the wife, both, they're not giving themselves to each other. They're not offering themselves towards each other, giving themselves fully and wholly towards each other, because they're so busy giving themselves over to so many other things in life. that they're no longer giving themselves to the ones that mean the most to them. And the Bible says, husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and he gave himself for it. Colossians chapter 3 verse 19, the Bible says, husbands love your wives and be not bitter against them. Don't be bitter against them. Have you ever, you know, we say, well, what does it mean to be bitter? Well, how's the idea of being distasteful or nasty or unpleasing, you know? And so what does that mean? When the Bible says in Colossians 3, 19, for husbands to love your wives, to be not bitter against them, well, what does that mean? What's he talking about? Well, he's saying that, listen, what you want to make sure that you're doing as a husband is you want to make sure that you're not being bitter towards them. You want to make sure you're not being nasty. Don't be unkind and rude and harsh because, listen, I tell you what, we can trade things back and forth between husbands and wives, and we can be bitter towards each other and be rash and be hurtful and speak and say things towards one another. that can definitely bring a damper on the evening. You have a husband and wife that are going at it in the evening for whatever reason. I tell you what, it makes for a long night. And then they go to bed at night and they won't talk to each other and they wake up in the morning and they leave without saying I love you and without saying goodbye and it just goes on and on and on and on. Listen, I can tell you this, we want to make sure that we do. is that we do as the Bible says and we want to make sure that we are not bitter. The Bible says husbands love your wives, be not bitter against them. Don't be rude and don't be harsh and don't say evil things and don't be wicked towards them, being hurtful and all these kinds of stuff, learning to tame our temper. Because unconditional love has this idea that despite what is being said, despite what is being done, I'm gonna love you unconditionally regardless. And listen, hey, sometimes our wives come in maybe home from work. Even us, we come home from work. And sometimes husbands and wives, they've had a rough day. There's been a number of different things that's happened throughout the day. And sometimes they'll bring that stuff in home from the workplace or bring it in from maybe a family dispute somewhere, something's going on or whatever. And so they come home together and they find themselves at odds at each other because of some other things. Sometimes they don't even have nothing to do with them, but they just, all this stuff just gets brung out, it just gets brung out from other places and comes together. And then next thing you know, they find themselves in the midst of an argument and then they begin to speak these bitter, harsh words and hurtful words against each other. And the Bible says, listen, Husbands, love your wives, don't be bitter against them, but to love them, and shows us to love them unconditionally. Because when we find out what agape love is, listen, love in general, love in general, you know what love is? Love is, love's not so much as an emotion as it is a choice. Love's a choice. Love is a verb, love is a verb which shows us that it is an action word. But love is not so much as an emotion as it is a choice to make. The Bible shows us that Jesus, he loves us with an agape love, an unconditional love. The Lord Jesus chooses to love us. You know, I've heard people say, and even in Bible college and going through counseling and all different kinds of things with folks, I've heard people say, you know what, I've fallen out of love. I've fallen out of love. Well, it's not the fact that you don't love them anymore, it's the fact that we're choosing not to. And the reason why we're choosing not to is because of a series of things that's happened that has brought us to this decision that we don't want to love them anymore because of what they're saying and because of what they're doing. Now, I know that's just a broad stroke. There's many different issues and there's many different things that bring all this stuff to be. But I'm just trying to paint this broad picture for us to see and understand that is love an emotion? Yes, it is, but it's more of a choice than it is anything else. We choose to love. And so we see here in verse 25, the Bible says, Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and he gave himself for it. And Colossians 3.19 says for us to love our wives and be not bitter against them. Don't be bitter against them. And the second thing is not only do we need to love our wives, but I think we also, the Bible shows us in verse 26 that we need to sanctify our wives. You say, what does that mean? Well, take a look at it. The Bible says that you might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. Now, the Lord Jesus, or the Bible, is giving the essence of putting this analogy together of the marriage relationship between the husband and the wife. And what's it like? It's like the bride of Christ, and it's like the bride, which is Jesus the church. And what does the Bible say about it? The Bible says that Jesus, what he does, that says that he sanctifies and cleanses it, which is the church, with the washing of water by the word. And so what does the Lord Jesus do? The Lord Jesus, he cleanses and sanctifies his church through his word. You say, well, what does that mean for us? What does that mean? Well, in the same sense, as husbands, what are we to do? We do the same thing. We are, in essence, to help our wives to become the wife that they need to be And our wives are to help the husbands to be the husbands that they need to be. That's why we give 100% and 100% on both sides. What does the Lord do? The Bible says, let's go back to verse 25. Husbands, love your wives. Even as Christ also loved the church and he gave himself for it. that he, talking about Christ, that he might sanctify, which has the idea to cleanse and set apart, that he might cleanse it, set it apart with the washing of water by the Word. And so, as in the marriage relationship, what we do is, as the marriage relationship becomes prosperous, the marriage relationship becomes productive, when the husband decides within himself that he's going to love his wife as he's supposed to love her, regardless of the situation, He's going to make the choice to decide to love her and then what he's going to do is he's going to do everything he can to help her to be what she needs to be. Help her be the Christian wife that she desires to be. Loving your wife like you should. Help her to shine. Help her to stand out. Help her to be the woman that she desires to be. I pray and ask God all the time. I tell Amy, pray for me. Pray for me. Help me to be the man that God needs me to be. Help me to be the husband that God needs me to be. My wife tells me all the time. Will you pray for me that I'll be the wife that I need to be? Will you help me to be the wife that I need to be? My wife says that to me all the time. I tell it to her all the time. Why? Do we do that? Because we know that we both need work, right? Don't we all? We all need some work. We both know that we need work and we both want to be the best that we can be for each other and we both know that the best way for us to do that is by us coming to, by the Lord Jesus being the center of our life. Just as the Bible says in Psalm 127, Well, the Bible says, except the Lord build the house, the labor in vain that build it. And so we want the Lord to be the center of the home. But listen, I need my wife's help along with the Lord, but I need my wife's help for me to be the man that I need to be, the leader that I need to be in my home. And my wife needs my help to help her to be, other than the Lord Jesus, to help her be the wife that she needs to be. And so we are helping each other to grow each other so that we can be the best for each other. Man, we sanctify our wives, we set them apart, we do everything we can to help them to grow, to help them to be a better person, just as we need their help for us to be a better person. And so we see that in verse 26. Now what else do we see? You know, I think it's interesting that as we get into all these different things, We see so many illustrations that God uses to show that the home can be so productive if we just follow the plan that God has in place. You know, the beautiful part about all of this is that both the giver of this love, this agape love, the receiver of this love, they both benefit. The Church, the Bride of Christ, receives the benefits of God and His love. And the Bride of Christ gets washed and cleansed and benefits from the love of Christ. And so everybody benefits from each other. And that's what we do as a marriage. We benefit from each other. We draw from each other's strengths. And we understand each other has weaknesses. Hey, we all have weaknesses, right? Sure we do. We have our strong points and we have our weaknesses in our life and so what do we do? The Word of God helps us to get these things right in our life and we help each other as husbands and wives to grow and to be what we need to be for each other. And so what's the next thing? We see there in verse 27, what's the purpose? What's the purpose of the Lord Jesus washing the church and cleansing it and trying to make it as bright and shiny as He can? What's the purpose? That He might present it to Himself a glorious church. The whole purpose in the Lord Jesus saving us and washing us and cleansing us is so that he can present the church to himself, a church that is glorious, a church that is clean, a church that is nice. In the same aspect, in the same way, why do we help each other to be the husband's wife that we need to be in our relationships? Because we want them to be the best that they can be, not just for themselves, but for us. for us as well. The Bible says he does this for the church that he might present it to himself, a glorious church without spot and without wrinkle. And so that's what we do for each other. We help each other to be the husbands that we need to be and we help our wives to be the wives that they need to be. We do this trade-off back and forth so that we can help each other to grow in the Lord and so that we can present each other as better husbands and better wives for each other as the days go on. Every day, becoming a better wife. Every day, becoming a better husband. Every day, helping each other to shine that much brighter. Every day, encouraging each other. Every day, being there for each other. Every day, loving each other and doing everything we can to help each other to be even better for each other than we were the next day. The Bible says in verse 27 that he might present it to himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that it should be holy and without blemish. And so the whole idea is that when Jesus saved us And when we got saved as the bride of Christ of the church, He wants to present the church to Himself without a spot, without a blemish. And that's what we should be doing for each other. And the Bible says that as husbands, we should be helping our wives to be the same way. And so there in verse 28, we also see something interesting. The Bible says there in verse 20, it says, So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies, and he that loveth his wife loveth himself. He that loves his wife loves himself. Well I would agree with that. You know when Whenever we love ourselves, we would treat ourselves with, I mean, I'm sure most of us in here would treat yourself kindly. You would do good for yourself. And so I think in the very same aspect, what we want to do to our husbands and do to our wives is that we would want to make sure that we are doing all that we can to treat them just as we would treat ourselves. The Bible says in verse 28, so ought men to love their wives AS THEIR OWN BODIES. AND HE THAT LOVETH HIS WIFE LOVES HIMSELF. AND SO ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON. THE BIBLE TALKS ABOUT HOW MEN, YOU NEED TO LOVE YOUR WIVES. MEN, DON'T BE BITTER TOWARDS THEM. DON'T BE HARSH. DON'T BE RUDE. DON'T BE ANTAGONISTIC, YOU KNOW. BE FORGIVEN. YOUR LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL. CHOOSE TO LOVE YOUR SPOUSE. AND HE SAYS, LOVE YOUR WIVES EVEN AS YOU LOVE YOUR OWN BODIES, EVEN AS YOU LOVE YOUR OWN SELF. That's how you should love them. A wife that is beautiful, a wife that is honored is definitely a wife that is treasured. And whenever we help our wives to be the wives that they desire to be, When we help our wives be the wives that they desire to be, not the wives that we're trying to make them be, not the wives that we're trying to strong arm them to be into what we want them to be. But husbands, when we try to help our wives to be the wives that they need to be in the sight of God, how God wants them to be. Not the kind of wives that we are mandating for them to be. Not the kind of wives that we say, you be this kind of person or else. But as our wives are trying to be the women that God has created them, the women that they want to be for the Lord and the wife that they want to be for you, we should be doing everything we can to help them to get to that point. Just as men, we need our wives' help to get us to that point. But a wife that is beautiful and a wife that is honored And a wife is a wife that is definitely treasured. And whenever we hold them into esteem, and we do everything we can to pour ourselves into them, and we do everything we can to love them, and to honor them, and to cherish them, what's going to happen is, is we are going to see them, we're going to see our wives as a treasure, we're going to see our wives as someone who is valuable, But I think what happens across in many homes is the wife isn't seen that way. There's many wives that are trying to change their, many husbands that are trying to change their wives and the kind of wives they want them to be. And vice versa, there's many wives out there that are trying to change the husbands into the husbands they want them to be. And so what we have to do is we have to say, you know what? We want to be who God has created us to be, but we want to honor God first and foremost. But as we honor God, as we honor God in our lives, we help each other to honor each other. And because when we do that and we pour ourselves in each other, we then begin to treasure each other. And I think one of the great things that we see across America today in many homes is that husbands and wives, there's many, I'm not saying everybody of course, but I think there's many homes, Where husbands and wives don't really honor each other. They don't really respect each other. Some of them really don't love each other. They're just two people living in the same house just trying to get along and make it through the day. There's a lot of folks that are living in very difficult situations in their homes across our country for many, many different reasons. But what we see is that whenever we see our spouse as a treasure, we look at it differently. We look at it differently. And I can tell you what, if you look at your car as a treasure, then what are you going to do? You're going to make sure you clean it up. You're going to make sure it looks nice. You're going to make sure you change the oil. You're going to make sure you do all these things. You're going to pay attention to it. You're going to make it look good. But if you don't look at it as any value, If you don't look at it, it's valuable. If you just look at it as a junker and just an old clunker, you know what? You're probably not going to care if it gets dirty. You're not going to care if it gets messed up. You're not going to care about changing the oil. You're not going to care about doing all these things. Why? Because of your perception of how you value your vehicle. And I think the very same way it goes for our marriages is we have to value it, see that there's value to it. We value each other and when you value each other you treasure each other and that's what we need to make sure that we do. And what's the next thing? Well, notice what the Bible says. The Bible says there in verse 29, He says, So what does he do? The Bible says, "...but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church." So the Bible shows us there in verse 29 that what we need to do is we need to, as the Lord Jesus nourishes the church, as He cherishes the church, what we as husbands, what we need to do is that we need to nourish our wives. and that we need to cherish our wives. You know what that word nourish there actually means? You know one of the Greek words that's used for to nourish, man the Bible says for us to nourish our wives. You know what that word nourish there means? Has the idea to make fat. So men, your job is to make your wife fat. That's what the word actually means. It has the idea to make fat. And I'm saying that because what I'm trying to get us to see is that that's where that word nourish there. It's coming from the idea that husbands, you are giving your wives what they need to succeed in their life as a woman. and as a wife and as a mother. You are doing everything that you can to nurture them, to help them, to make sure that they have what they need to be successful as the woman and as the wife that they desire to be in their life and for their home. Because I believe there are a lot of moms across the United States, I believe there's a lot of moms throughout the world that what they want is they want support from their husband, They want love from their husband. They want attention from their husband. And they want their husbands to help them to be the wives and the moms that they desire to be in their life. And they want that help, and they want that support, and they want that attention, and they want that love. But oftentimes we're so busy, sometimes nourishing so many other things. making sure everything else has what it needs and making sure everybody else has what they need that we forget about the most important people inside of our own home that require and need the nourishing of the husband and that is of course our wife and even our children. And so the Bible says that we need to nourish our wives. Give our wives what they need. You nourish them. You help them to grow. You help them to... We see here someone who is living a healthy life in essence. Because if something is well nourished, then that means it's healthy. But if something is malnourished, that means it's not getting what it receives. And there are probably, and I would dare say, many malnourished wives across our country, many malnourished homes across our country tonight because men are dropping the ball and not nourishing what they ought to be nourishing. They're so interested in nourishing so many other things that they're forgetting about, the person that stood in front of them on that wedding day where they made a vow to say, you know what, I love you before God, I promise to honor you and cherish you for the rest of my life. And the Bible says that's what we need to do, we need to nourish our wives. And what does he say? And to cherish our wives. Nourish them, make them healthy, make them spiritually healthy, help them to grow, help them to be successful. Encourage them, because that's what they need. I tell you what, moms come home from work, the moms that do work, moms that don't work and they stay at home with the kids, I tell you what, whether you work it, whether the moms are working somewhere, or whether the moms are staying at home taking care of the kids and taking care of the house, listen, that's a lot of work either way. It's a lot of work either way. Whether you're a mom and you have a full-time job and you have to leave the house and go to work, or whether you're a stay-at-home mom, listen, that's a full-time job too. Listen, I'll tell you what, my wife, Amy, whenever both the kids were small, she stayed at home. She stayed at home for 10 years. while I went to work. And when the kids got up old enough, she decided that she wanted to go to work. I didn't make her go to work. I didn't tell her she had to go to work. She decided that the kids were up to a point where she felt like she needed to go to work because she was ready to get out of the house after sitting at the house for 10 years. I mean, she was about done with it. She was like, alright, I need to get out of here. And you know, I can't say that I blame her, because every time I came home, I saw them. I love them half to death, but I came home to a bunch of screaming young as many nights. And I tell you what, the moms that are taking care of our kids are something special. The Bible says we need to nourish them and cherish them. We help them to succeed. Listen, we've got to help each other to succeed. And as husbands, that's what we want to do. We want to help our wives to succeed. We want to help them, encourage them. That's how we nourish them. If you nourish something, it's healthy. You give it what it needs to thrive. You give it what it needs to succeed. And as husbands, that's what we needed to be doing for our wives. We need to be giving them everything that they need to succeed. Giving them everything that they need so that they can be what they desire to be in their life. And you know what that is? Their desire in their life is to be the best wife for you that they can be. under the direction and guidance and the power of God. They want to be a wife and they want to be a mother and as husbands we should help them to be that. Not only that, but we see there in verse 29, the Bible says, "...for no man yet ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it even as the Lord the Church." We nourish it and then we see that word cherished. What does that word cherished there mean? That word cherish there has the idea to keep something warm by tender loving care. That's what that word cherish means. To keep something warm by tender loving care. You know what my wife and I did before we came to church today? We went out, my dad went home after lunch, he went home. And after he went home, we was at the house and we walked outside and I tell you what, it felt wonderful outside. Today was a beautiful day. And it felt wonderful. You know what we did? Well, we were standing there, and she looked at me. She smiled at me, and she said, you know what I want to do? I said, I sure do. And so we went walking around to the back of the house, and a while back, she had bought this off of Facebook Marketplace. She bought this hammock. She said she wanted to go lay in the hammock. So you know what we did? We went out there, and we laid on the hammock together. and curled up on that hammock and just laid there beside of each other and just held on to each other and fell asleep while I was out like a light while I was snoring. And we just laid there and just went to sleep. Listen, I'm not saying I'm all that by no means. I'm just saying that that's kind of what that is, is that you nourish each other, you cherish each other, You hold on to each other with tender, loving care. What is it that our wives are looking for? Our wives are looking for men and husbands that will love them, cherish them, that will help them to succeed as a person, as an individual, as a mom, as a wife, and all these different things. And that's what we want to do. We want to cherish them. We want to keep them warm. We want to make sure that we are tender to them and that we show them that we care about them. Just like the picture of the Lord Jesus holding his church close by his side, keeping her warm, protecting her and caring for her. That's what the Lord Jesus does for us. He holds us and he holds us close by his side and he protects us and takes care of us and that's what the Bible is saying the husband ought to do for his wife. He ought to hold her close by his side. He ought to keep her warm. He needs to protect her. He needs to provide for her. He needs to show her that he loves her and he needs to do that through tender love. love and care through nourishing and through cherishing. Showing her that you are there for her, that you protect her. You know what my wife said, I'll let you in on a little secret. As we were laying there, my wife, she put her head on my chest and she said, you know what? She said, this is my favorite place. She said, when I lay my head down on your chest right here, she said, you know what? She said, I just feel like everything's okay. I just feel like everything's safe. You know what that says a lot? That says a lot to me as a husband because I'm thinking, you know what? I'm finally doing something right. Because I feel like sometimes I fail so much, even as a husband and as many other things. But whenever she laid down beside of me, and she was laying there, and I had my arm around her, and she just had her head laying right here on my chest, she said, this is my most favorite place in the world. She says, I feel like when I'm laying right here, and she's been saying that, that wasn't just something she come up with today, she's been saying that since we've been married. And she says, you know what, when I just lay right, she said, when I put my head on your chest, I just feel like everything's gonna be all right, and there's no worries, and everything's gonna be just fine. That is part of the job for husbands. You know, listen, did it take a lot of work for me to do that? Was that I mean, what did it take? Just just an act of kindness just to say, you know what, honey, I do love you. And I want you to lay down beside me and hang on to me. And and I want us to spend time together. And I mean, that takes it takes no work. It's just the idea just to show each other that you do care about each other. And I think there's a lot of homes across America that are missing that, you know? And hey, listen, not every home is perfect. My home's not perfect, your home's not perfect. There's lots of different things that we go through that challenge us at times. But we can do what we can to nourish each other and cherish each other. Remember whenever maybe you and your spouse, when y'all were dating, remember how you maybe used to do things, you know? Maybe it was you used to take her jacket off or pull her or put her jacket on or take her jacket off whenever she was going to go somewhere in the house, or open the car door for her, or pull her seat out from underneath the table and slide her back in, or whatever it is that men do whenever they're trying to woo their woman into marrying them. And then over time, you're just like, yeah, you can open up your own door. Yeah, you can grab your own jacket. I don't know what it is, but I tell you what, every time it's just like, ah, yeah, okay, yeah, you can, you know, I remember one time my wife cracked up at me and I just laughed and laughed and laughed. We was going somewhere, we was going somewhere, and she just happened to get to the door before I did and she opened it up and I just went on through and I just turned around and laughed at her. And I'd done that, and I'd done that just because, you know, because I generally, you know, open the door for her when we're coming into church or a building or something like that generally. I try to anyways. But I'm just saying that there are things that we did whenever we were dating each other that sometimes we just lose grasp of that. You know, we say, well, I've just gotten too old for that now and I've moved on past that. We're not in the dating years anymore. That's true. I get it. I understand. You know, relationships change and sometimes you don't do some little small things that you used to do. But I tell you what, it doesn't mean that we shouldn't. Because I tell you what, those things are special. Those things are special. I think, you know, sometimes we lose sight of it, and sometimes we forget about that we've done those things, but I tell you what, it is nice when you go back and you remember, hey, you know what, I used to do this, and I used to do that, and you start doing that again, what does it do? It puts a smile on her face, puts a smile on your face. I mean, it just makes things more enjoyable. And knowing that even those small things, you know, I think most of the times, me and our wives aren't looking for us to jump over the moon. They're just wanting some of our time. They're just wanting some of our affection. They're just wanting some of our love. They're just wanting us to help them to be what they want to be for God, what they feel like they want to be for you, what they feel like they want to be for the kids. And they just want some help and support in that. And I think as husbands, the Bible tells us that's something that we should offer them, that we should do what we can to help them make that happen. They are a prize. They are valuable, and they should be cherished. Now, let's leave right here. Let's go over to 1 Peter 3. 1 Peter 3. And we're going to look at this, the last thing right here. which is we need to learn our wives, learn our wives. I think sometimes we can, as men or even as women, I guess, but as men, we can know the stats of every football player, every NASCAR driver, but sometimes we couldn't tell you what in the world our wife likes. We couldn't hardly tell you anything about our wives, but we can tell you the stats of any football player, baseball player, basketball player. There's many guys that can tell you all kinds of stats about all kinds of sports figures, or tell you everything that makes a motor run, tell you everything, all these different kinds of things, but couldn't hardly tell you nothing about their own wife. I think the Bible shows us that we need to learn our wives. Know about them. Notice what the Bible says in 1 Peter chapter 3. He says, "...likewise you eyes be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the Lord, that they may also without the word be won by the conversation of the wives, while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." We'll get more into that here in just a little bit. But in 1 Peter chapter 3 and verse 7, I tell you what, let's just go down to verse 7 instead of reading all that because most of that pertains to the women and we'll get to that later. Let's go down to verse 7. Notice what it says. It says, Likewise ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge. Dwell with them according to knowledge. So men, what does it say? The Bible says, men, you need to know your wife. You need to know your wife. Know what they like. Know what it is. What is it that means something to them? Are we going to cherish them and value them? And if so, we show that by having knowledge about our spouse. Having knowledge about them. You know, I think one of the things that our spouses desire is to know that we know about them. I remember one time, I was at, what was it, Cornerstone, when I was passing the church up there. And I always, we always did the, we always did the Valentine's Banquet. And when we'd done the Valentine's Banquet, I was always the host. I was always the one down here asking the questions. Everybody else was up there with the next year, or one of the years. They said, all right, you're always the host. Why don't you and Amy get up there? So we did. And we got up there, and we came down. We was the last couple. It was tied up, tied up. And so they themselves come up with a question. And the question was, what's your wife's favorite color? And I missed it. I missed it. I had no idea. I began to think to myself. I thought, man, what is it? I mean, she likes all different kinds of colors. What is her favorite color? And I began to just ransack my brain and was thinking and thinking and thinking, what is her favorite color? And I looked at her and she was wearing a red blouse and I said, red. And then she about knocked me out on the floor. Come to find out it's teal. I had no idea. I learned the hard way. But I think the Bible says, Dwell with your wives according to knowledge. Know who they are. What is it that they like? Can we tell our wives what they like? Do we know what their favorite color is? Do we know what their favorite dish is? Do we know what they like to eat? I mean, do we know anything about them? I mean, you know, sometimes I think we can be so guilty of living with the same people up underneath our roof and have no idea who they are. have no idea who they are, what they like, what they dislike, or anything about them. I think the Bible says, know your wives, have knowledge about them, dwell with your wives according to knowledge. Not just knowledge about the Lord, but dwell with them with knowledge, know them, learn about them. And I think that's what the Bible's showing us here, and I think that's a key to having a successful marriage relationship in the home is for husbands and wives to know each other, to know each other. All right, well, let's be dismissed on that. Let's pray, Father, we thank you so much for your blessings today. We thank you so much for how good you've been to us. Lord, I pray that the message tonight was profitable to us and it has helped us in some way. Lord, we thank you for your love and grace. Lord, I pray that you'd keep us safe as we leave tonight and that you'd bring us all back together on Wednesday. And we love you and thank you for all we know you're gonna do in this, we pray in Jesus' name, amen.