We're continuing our series called The Battle for Our Emotions. Today we're going to talk about controlling anger. How do we do that? What does God say about that? James 1, verse 19. My dear brothers, take note of this. Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. For man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, Get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. Let's have a quick word of prayer. Father, thank you for your word. Please use it to speak to our hearts right now and help us to have victory in the area of anger. We all deal with it and we all battle with it. So Lord, give us victory from your word, I pray in Jesus name. Amen. All right. Anger. We talked last week about what it is and we talked about how to approach it. We talked about the reasons why it happens. Number one, if we're threatened. Number two, if we feel belittled or be meaned or put down or if in some way we are hindered from progressing towards something we really want. Those are the three main ways anger ends up in our life. And then we talked about several other things. Today, we're going to talk about how to control it. Well, what is the first thing we need to do when we start talking about how to control anger? Well, the first thing I want us to look at is the fact that we've got to understand who we are as human beings. We have to understand our nature. Now, before you and I got saved, we had a natural nature that we inherited spiritually from our father Adam. And so my question to us today is, was it a good nature or a bad nature? It was bad. We weren't born inherently good. That's why you don't teach kids how to say no. You teach kids how to say yes. You don't teach kids how to disobey. We teach kids how to obey. We know how to disobey and say no and I want this. We know that naturally. We're born with that, okay? So we've got to realize we have a sin nature. In James chapter 1, James deals with the temptation process. If you look at James chapter 1 and verse 14, the Bible says, But each one is tempted when by his own evil desire he is drawn aside and enticed. What is that evil desire? That is the production of our sin nature. That is our flesh, the Bible calls it. And we've all got that. Now, when we got saved, we got the Holy Spirit. And according to Galatians 5, the Holy Spirit does battle in our life with our flesh for control of our life. So at least now, as Christians, we have the Holy Spirit to help us. But we still have a sin nature. Almost 600 times in the Old Testament, the word anger or wrath is used. Most of which in reference to God's anger or God's wrath. Interesting thing. Never in all the Bible is God's anger ever talked about in a negative manner. It is never condemned. It is never said that God's anger is ever wrong. However, all through the Bible we are warned about our anger and about our ability in anger to sin. Why is that? Because of this. This is what we have that God does not have. We have a sin nature. He does not. When God becomes angry because He's God and He's perfect, none of these things are possibilities with God. However, with us, because we are sinners, all of these things are possible with us. That's why Paul said, in your anger do not sin. The emotion of anger is not sin. It's what we do when it comes that creates sin. So, what are some of the things we need to watch out for? Well, take your Bible, turn to Proverbs chapter 18. Hold a marker in James 1 because we're coming back there. We've got several verses in Proverbs we want to look at. By the way, they're all real close to each other, so they're easy to go back and forth and get to. Let's look at these. There are six things, tendencies, that we have relative to anger that we need to watch out for whenever we get angry. Number one, we have a tendency to misinterpret situations. Look at Proverbs chapter 18 and verse number 13. The Bible says he who answers before listening, this is his folly and his shame. Do you ever do that? Do we ever answer before we have completely listened to what we're being told? Have you ever had a conversation with somebody and maybe it was a a we'll call it an argument. We'll call it a spirited discussion. And you are stating your fact. And as you are stating your fact, about halfway through, the other party begins to state their fact longer and louder than you are stating yours. And so what do we do? We raise our voice and we get louder and then they get louder. You ever watch any of those Corp shows on TV, them judge shows, those things are hilarious to me. You ever listen to them? How many times during one of those shows does the judge have to tell one or the other to shut up? Be quiet, you'll get your turn, let them talk. Why? Because this is what we have a tendency to do. We have a tendency in a situation that has been spawned by our anger. We have a tendency, once we've heard the first two words, immediately we go to an assumption because of our anger and we're not listening anymore. We're formulating, how am I going to answer this? And the moment that formula gets completed, it starts coming out. We have no clue what the other person is saying because we ain't thinking about that. We're not listening. Why do we do that? Because we have a sin nature. And it has a tendency to do that. It's self-preservation. So we have to be careful. Number two, look at Proverbs chapter 14, verse number 8. Proverbs 14 and verse 8. The second thing we have a tendency to do is assume without knowing all the facts. In Proverbs 14, verse number 8, the Bible says the wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their way. Look at verse 15, same chapter. A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man, a wise man, gives thought to his steps. You guys ever been in the mall and seen that store? I think it's still there. Items that were sold on TV. Ever seen that store? There's a reason why there's a store for those items that were sold on TV. Because what they do is they market these items on TV. You don't find them in any real stores. They market them on TV to people who fit this verse. Verse 15. What does verse 15 say? It says, A simple man believes anything. Oh, this is the greatest gadget ever invented by man. Do you know what this thing will do? It will make you look like Elvis. for three payments of nineteen ninety five it can be your and it's such a great deal will probably have a double portion for nineteen ninety nine well what they do is they do that until all of the simple people who believe anything have spent all their money. And then they have to take it off the TV because there's nobody left but the wise people who ain't going to listen to them. And they stick it in a store called Things That Were Sold on TV. And they sell them for $5.99, not $19.99. And you get three times the amount, not one. That's a crude example. But Satan uses this tactic all the time in our lives. We don't think through. what we're doing. And anger is a huge tool that makes this a whole lot easier. We get angry, what's the first thing we want to do? Vent. I ain't got time to think about this. I need to respond now. Why do we do that? Because we have a sin nature. And we all have to watch out for that. We're all susceptible to that. Number three, we have a tendency to make mistakes in judgment. Go back to Proverbs chapter 18, look at verse 1. An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends. He defies all sound judgment. What does that mean? That means he doesn't make sense. Everything that makes sense goes out the window. And when we get angry, isn't that a lot of times what happens? We do things that don't even make sense because we're angry. And it's proven because after we calm down, what do we normally end up doing? apologizing for doing something so stupid. But what happens is that anger appeals to our sin nature, and we have a tendency to make mistakes in judgment. It clouds our judgment. Number four, we have a tendency to react with revenge in mind. Proverbs chapter 24 and verse 29. Proverbs 24, 29. Do not say, I'll do to him as he has done to me. I'll pay that man back for what he did. The Bible says don't do that, OK? So in Romans 12, we all know it, God told us in Romans 12, vengeance is mine, I will repay, sayeth the Lord. Who has the right to exact revenge on others? God. That's it. We don't. Only God does. But by the way, he says, I will. I will take care of it, but you let me do it, okay? Number five. We have a tendency to look at things from a selfish perspective. Back to chapter 18, verse number one. An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends. I will tell you, every one of us in our sin nature has this issue. Every one of us. That's why Jesus told his disciples, he said, if you're going to follow me, you have to deny yourself and take up your cross and follow me. Why? Because our sin nature is naturally bent towards selfish issues. And we all have it. And unfortunately, it ain't going away until we get to heaven. We're going to constantly have to battle that selfishness inside of us. And it's never going away. And then finally, number six, we have a tendency to allow our anger to control us instead of us controlling it. Look at Proverbs 25, verse number 28. Proverbs 25, verse 28. Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control. Proverbs 29, verse 11. Great verse when it comes to anger. A fool gives full vent to his anger. Ever heard somebody say, well, I just need to get it out. Well, God says, no, you don't just need to get it out. You need to deal with it properly. You don't need to just get it out. Things have been said in getting out our anger that have caused emotional damage in relationships that for a lifetime will never be able to be repaired. we don't need to give full vent to our anger. We have a tendency to do that because we're human. But God says that's foolish. What does it say a wise man does? A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. Now, I will tell you this. Go back to James chapter 1. I will tell you this. I am not the master of controlling anger. As a matter of fact, I probably learned more from studying this for my own life And anything I have actually prepared for in a long, long time. Because I have a tendency to really struggle with this. And God has taught me so many things. Let me show you this. There are basically three responses that we can have when anger hits our life. Number one, we can blow up, like the girl on the phone. I have a tendency to do that. Number two, we can clam up, like the girl with her arms folded. This is probably the most dangerous. Because according to Hebrews 12, this is what produces bitterness that grows up and gets bigger and bigger. And then every time that area of our anger gets touched, that bitter sore full of pus spews out all over everything. And this anger, that is the source of it. That's where the bitterness comes from. And then finally, number three, we can listen up. That's what James says to do, right? Here's the secret of controlling anger. The key to controlling anger is what we do when anger enters my heart. It's not being angry. That's why Paul said last week, in your anger do not sin. Being angry is not a sin. It's what I do when I get angry that can become sin. That's why understanding our nature, and because we have a sin nature, what we have a tendency to do, these are the things we need to watch out for. Because these are the things we have a tendency to do when we get angry. Alright? So, two key ingredients that are very important in dealing with anger. And I'm going to read you these. You don't have to turn there. They're found in Ephesians chapter 4, where we read last week. Ephesians 4.31 says, Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger. all tied together, brawling and slander along with every form of malice. And then the next verse says, be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other as Christ forgave you. So how do I get rid of bitterness and rage and anger? I have to learn how to be kind and compassionate and forgiving. Now, are these things, when we're angry, easy to do? They're not for me. They're not natural. You know what these things are? These things are produced in us by the Holy Spirit. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance. That's where forgiveness comes from. So I've got to be controlled by the Spirit of God in my life. This is not natural, but it is necessary to control anger. So, in closing, what are the five steps to take when anger strikes my life. Now, please understand, we're not dealing now with how to go back and deal with bitterness that has been spawned in our life because of anger from a long time ago. That's a whole other lesson. Unfortunately, we don't have time to deal with that. But what can we do right now? If I leave this afternoon and I go to the Super Bowl party and the New England Patriots are up by 21 points with two minutes to go in the Super Bowl and I get angry. What do I do? How do I handle this? Okay, here's what we do. All right, James chapter one, five very simple things. Number one, step back. Number two, be quiet. I was actually thinking of how I could alliterate these, you know, where they all started with the same letter. And I had another phrase for be quiet, but shut up didn't sound very nice. So I didn't put that in there. But step back, be quiet, stay controlled. Recognize and resist temptation. and then do what's right. Let me show you these real fast, and we'll be done. Hold on just a second, okay? Number one, step back. James says in verse number 19, he says, My dear brothers, take note of this. Be quick to listen. The word quick literally means to be ready or willing. When you and I get angry, the best thing for us to do immediately is to step back and take a deep breath. Open our ears and close our mouth. Now, what am I listening for? Primarily, I'm listening for the Holy Spirit of God to calm my heart. This is not necessarily talking about going to a counselor and listening to them tell me what I need to do. In that moment, I need somebody to speak to me immediately, and it's the Spirit of God. Step back, take a deep breath, be ready to listen. Number two, be quiet, slow to speak. If we had time, I could take you through numerous passages in the Old and New Testament where anger and saying the wrong thing, evil speaking, are combined together. And it's uncanny how God relates those two things. What is the most common way you and I expose our anger? By doing what? By saying something we shouldn't say. We scream, we yell, we shout, we say something ugly. We say something, maybe it's not loud, maybe it's not direct, maybe it's kind of underhanded. Maybe it's some little comment that we know takes a knife and digs into something we're mad about with somebody else, and we just kind of turn it a little bit. It's not blatant and open, but we know exactly what we're doing. So our tongue, that's why James says, is the hardest part of the body to control. So I've got to step back. Be quiet. Number three, he says, be slow to become angry. Last week we talked about the three words that are used in the Greek language described as anger. One of them is agathe. That's this word. It's the idea of the attitude of anger being seated inside of me. It's not an outburst. It's not the first sense of anger. It's that anger that has kind of gotten in me and settled there. James says, be real slow to let that happen. In other words, control yourself. Don't let the moment anger hits your heart, it get right down inside of you and start controlling you. Stay controlled. Step back, be quiet, control yourself so you can think straight. Number four, recognize and resist temptation. He says, after he says do all this, Verse 20 says, for man's anger does not work the righteousness of God. What that means is man's anger, when responded to in the flesh, does not present a Christ-like life. That's what he's talking about. So, he says, here's how you deal with it. Verse 21. Therefore, be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to get anger, and therefore, here's what you need to do so it doesn't happen. Number one, you need to get rid of Moral filth and evil that's so prevalent. What does that mean? I need to step back, be quiet, compose myself, and ask myself, what is it I'm about to do that is not right? What am I about to do that I know God would not approve of? And get rid of it. And then number five, do what's right. He says, after you get rid of the moral filth and the evil, then accept the Word that has been planted in you. How do I accept it? Humbly. You know, for most of us when we get angry, the last thing you want to hear is a Bible verse about how God says, you want to calm down and let me take care of this. I don't know about you, but when I'm angry, I'm not exactly in a worshipful mood. That's why James says, I need to get rid of the moral filth, get rid of the evil, and I need to humbly accept what I know God has taught me. I've got to humble myself. You're not going to tell me what to do. I'm mad and I'm going to deal with this. Don't tell me what to do. God says, humbly, I've got to accept what He tells me to do. And then you know the rest of the passage. Beginning of verse 22, James is the one that talks about, don't just be a hearer of the Word, but be a doer. I've got to do what's right. Now, these are the five steps we can take when anger hits our heart. And it will help you. However, there's not a step on here that James talks about that's easy. Not a one of them. Ultimately, I have got to want to be the person God wants me to be more than I want to do my own thing. And that's where the real battle is. Because me personally, I'm not like that all the time. I can be a very selfish, worrywart type of a person. And I can get angry over some very simple and basically stupid things. So this has really helped me. to start thinking through this process. So, hopefully, take these things, put them on the wall in your house, on the mirror in your bathroom, something. And the next time you feel anger hitting your heart, try those five things and see if they work, okay? Now, next week, after we have our little challenge for the capital campaign, I'm going to go into the study on envy and jealousy. And what does God say about that? How do we handle that in life and deal with that, okay? Father, thank you for your word and for all that you've done for us. Help us, Lord, as we battle this huge enemy in our life called anger. May we respond properly so that we live a life that exemplifies Christ in Jesus' name.