All throughout the Word of God you find many references to the tongue. You find lots of references to the words that come out of individuals' mouths. It's interesting to me to note that the different individuals who encountered God in the Old Testament gained a much greater sensitivity about their mouth. For example, Job's theology changed at the end of Job after he was asked a series of questions. You may recall the passage where he said that his theology was built upon everything that he had heard. But all of that changed when he said, mine eye seeth thee. His theology changed greatly but in his remorse he said, I have uttered things that I understood not. I spoke about things of which I was ignorant. We've all done that. If I could take back the problems that I have had as a result of things I've said, I would have a problem-free ministry. I have, I joked with an individual, for years I kind of developed the saying, seldom have I been caught speechless, many times I wish I would have. And I joked for years that I would have that put on a t-shirt. Lo and behold, someone actually sent me that on a t-shirt in the mail, and seldom have I been caught speechless. It's rare that I'm going to be caught speechless, very rare. It does happen, but it is rare, but it has been far too many times when I wish I had been caught speechless, when I wish I did not say what came to mind. Isaiah, when he saw the Lord high and lifted up in Isaiah chapter number 6, he immediately responded by crying out, Woe is me, for I am undone, because I am a man of unclean lips. I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips, for mine eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts. Words have a very unique power, the greatness of which I think is seldom considered. In fact, power of a person's words far exceeds physical strength. The irony of the power of words is that the physically weakest individual is actually capable of the greatest damage by the words or the manner in which he chooses to speak them. At times we read of examples in which words were chosen wisely. They made a tremendous impact on the hearers. At other times we discover words were not chosen wisely and they actually made a negative impact on the hearers. You find examples of this both in secular as well as biblical history. Compare for example Winston Churchill and Adolf Hitler, two individuals who lived at the same time, both of whom were capable by their speeches to wield great influence and affect nations. But yet they use their tongue in two polar opposite ways. Proverbs chapter 18 and verse 21 reminds us that death and life are in the power of the tongue. I think that probably everyone here has a desire to make a positive impact for Christ. You may not know the exact plan of what God is going to be doing, but your desire is to receive a degree, to receive training that will enhance your effectiveness to be able to serve him. You may spend years studying and even achieving good grades. You may graduate with multiple degrees. You may receive glowing recommendations for ministry. But can I tell you that if you wish to minister effectively to people, and that should incidentally be the heartbeat of every one of us as believers, not just those training for full-time service. We're all to be involved in the ministry. But if you wish to be effective for Christ, you have to learn to speak effectively. And I'm not speaking this morning on the mechanics of effective speech. I'm speaking on the manner of effective speech. How I go and say things. Because if we wish to make an impact for God, we have to develop and exhibit the qualities of sound speech. I've entitled this message, The Balances of Sound Speech. Often a person who embraces extreme positions, errors. I have seen this time after time after time. It's true theologically, you take theological extreme positions and you're 99.9% of the time going to be wrong. The balance has to be there. You take extreme positions practically and oftentimes you're going to be wrong. There has to be balance when it comes to your theology and there has to be balance when it comes to your practice. When you adopt the extremes of things, you oftentimes begin to create all sorts of unnecessary problems. But one of those areas that has to be balanced is our speech. And there are three different tensions that we will discuss here in this message tonight, or this morning rather, that I believe sound speech is going to successfully balance. So let's begin. Number one, sound speech balances accuracy of content with spirit of delivery. Sound speech balances accuracy of content with spirit of delivery. I've had you turn to Titus chapter 2. Paul has assigned Titus to a ministry on the island of Crete. It is an island that is located off the Southeast edge of Greece. His ministry though was definitely not one for the faint of heart. In fact, it included correcting a number of problems. Paul said in Titus chapter one in verse five, this is why I left you here. He said, I left you here so that you would set in order the things that are wanting. I want you to set in order things that are undone. Well, that sounds like a lot of fun, doesn't it? Let me just tell you, that's ministry, okay? And I've been around it for all of my life and that's it, okay? If your idea of ministry is a glowing picture of 8 to 5 in your office with no interruptions Monday through Friday, You are going to have a really hard reality check one day, and I hope it happens before you graduate, okay? Because ministry is a lot of work. It is getting dirty a lot of times. It is setting in order things that are lacking. Have you ever tried to get someone to do what they don't want to do? That's ministry and that's typically why things are lacking because they didn't want to do it. The exciting things are typically not lacking. I left you there so that you could set in order the things that are undone and I also left you there says Paul in Titus 1 in verse 5 so that you could ordain elders in every city. Quite a responsibility. I would say it's a rather broad ministry description. As you get into Titus chapter number two, you find where Titus is instructed. There are certain groups of people that you need to say certain things to, the older men and the older women, as well as the younger women and the younger men, even including servants and pastors. Right in the middle of that conversation or that instruction we find Titus chapter 2 and verse number 7 where he addresses Titus specifically. He says, Titus, if you want to be effective in ministry, you're going to have to be exemplary. It says in verse 7, in all things showing thyself a pattern of good works. You're going to have to exemplify what it means to have godly conduct. in doctrine showing uncorruptedness, gravity and sincerity. But not only do you need to exemplify godly conduct but you also need to exemplify sound speech. Verse number 8, sound a speech that cannot be condemned. That he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed having no evil thing to say of you. The word that is translated speech is the well-known word logos. It describes the means whereby the mind expresses itself. There's a thought that comes into your mind, good, bad, or indifferent, and you express that. You express that thought by means of your words. this particular context, it is probably best understood as being equivalent to the message that Titus is going to communicate. It's interesting to me in verse number 8 that Paul does not really address the content of the message. Verse 7 does speak more of maintaining right doctrine, but that is not the focus of verse number 8. The focus of verse 8 is on the manner in which this message is going to be communicated. You need to communicate this message, this word, and you need to do so with soundness. It needs to be sound. It needs to be something that is healthy. It needs to make its desired impact. Do you realize that it is possible for a person to be right in the content of his message and still ineffective in his communication of that message? There are people who have all of their T's crossed and their I's dotted as far as the content of the message. but the manner in which they communicate that message is a manner that is unhealthy and the result of that is inevitably going to be that it is ineffective. Now you might be sitting here thinking, okay, well, I'm not a preacher and I'm not going to be communicating a message. You are going to be communicating a message because anytime that you communicate, you are communicating a message. I won't ask for a show of hands because this would not apply at a college such as this, but my guess is some of you have roommates that irritate you. I know it's shocking, it doesn't happen here. Some of the other schools I have heard of that kind of thing. Roommates who really irritate you and you would like for certain things to change. How do you go about trying to make that change? Be careful. Never in my wildest imaginations would I have had the privilege of being a dad of three daughters. My family is four boys, I was the youngest of four, my wife is the only daughter in her family, she was the middle, younger and older brother, and we fully expected boys. I've learned, I am learning, I have not yet learned, the importance of communicating my message to my daughters. I love them dearly. But oh, have there been the times when the tears have flown. They would come down the stairs. Daddy, daddy, how do I look? You can't answer that question. I'm just going to say that. So I didn't. That was still the wrong answer. There was no way for me to win this. Turn around, tears would start flowing. Mommy, Daddy said I'm ugly. They didn't say you're ugly, but that outfit is ugly. You're going to put words in my mouth and let me at least go ahead and fill this in. I finally reached the point with my daughters where they still to this day would know this saying and now they're 22 and 20 and 18. Never ask a question that you don't want answered. If you're going to ask me how your hair looks, that's fine, but I'm going to tell you how I think your hair looks. If it looks nice, I'll tell you that. If I don't think it looks nice, I'm going to tell you. It's been a rough growing up process for me. How we communicate that message is so critical. Because if we don't do this with a proper demeanor, our message is ineffective. I want you to think about the people God's brought into your life. Think about the unsaved with whom you work. Communicate the message soundly. Be smart in how you share the plan of salvation. You may have the Romans road memorized, highlighted, marked in your Bible and everything. That person may simply need someone to talk to. Accuracy of content is of little value without proper demeanor in delivery. Let me say it again, accuracy of content is of little value without proper demeanor in delivery. Paul says you need to have sound speech that cannot be condemned. It's a translation of one word and it suggests that it has no legitimate basis for attack. Now to be clear, it does not mean that there will not be an attack made. People are not always going to say nice things about you. But what they say ought to not hold any weight. The idea with the word pictures a person who is actually acquitted in a trial. Here's the statement that was made and when the evidence is considered, the verdict is rendered this man is innocent of that. The statement is still going to be made. And again, I would challenge if your idea of ministry is that everyone's going to love you, go back to your dorm room and find out how well that's working because that's probably going to be it on a much grander scale. Not everyone is going to love you. Not everyone is going to think you're doing the greatest thing. Not everyone is going to say positive things about you. But you ought to have a lifestyle. and a manner of speaking that those things that are said about you have no basis. They end up proving to be illegitimate in the end. The reason that Titus is to ensure that his message is healthy and unable to be attacked is stated for us at the end of verse 8, that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed. having no evil thing to say of you. A person who is of the contrary part is a person who is in opposition. This opposition is not in personal opposition to you. This opposition is ultimately in opposition to God. We're not identifying the enemy. Oh yeah, he's the enemy in my church. No, he's a person. He needs to be ministered to. It might be challenging, but you've got to adopt the right mindset. He's not in opposition to me. If I am sharing the word of God, ultimately his opposition is with God. This is the person who is of the contrary part. What do we do with that person? I just want him out of the church. I tell you, yeah, you let him come into my office and I'll tell him a thing or two. I got a few things I'd like to say to him. Now, to be clear, I've had those conversations with people where it's, listen, I've got a few things I need to say to you. I'm not saying that there aren't times where these conversations do not have to take place because there are those times. What you're doing is not right. How you are acting in this church is not right and this is not going to be tolerated. There are times for that. But Paul says, Titus, you need to have sound speech that can't be condemned so that your opponent may be ashamed. So that those who are in opposition would actually be put to shame. You realize that if Titus were to ignore the importance of the manner in which his message was conveyed, he could possibly create a situation in which those who are in opposition would actually be validated or perhaps emboldened. I told you that preacher was like that. I told you she was like that. Ladies, if you end up marrying somebody who's in the ministry, be careful when your husband is the one who's the person who's being attacked. Your immediate reaction is going to be to want to respond in defense. Tame down. He doesn't need two fights. Okay? And that really is typically what's going to end up happening. Just settle down and let the situation get resolved, but we don't need to compound it and have two problems. I can't believe he said that about you. to stay out of that. Sound speech that cannot be condemned. Clearly from this passage it becomes evident that the effectiveness of one's message is directly linked to the manner in which he delivers it. He concludes having no evil thing to say of you probably because he has no evil thing to say of you. They didn't have anything evil to say. Now I don't know about you, but I want that kind of a tongue. I've got the other, unfortunately. My daughters can all attest to that, now you all can as well. Should have heard that chapel speaker, he said his daughters were ugly. No, he did not say that, okay? Boy, I put in some pretty ugly situations. What do you do, I'm gonna go back to this here for a minute, I got just 30 seconds. What do you do when they're wearing navy blue shirt and navy blue pants or navy blue skirt? You tell me what do you do. Exactly, thank you, now I don't look quite so bad. These are not the same colors, okay, this doesn't match. No, I'm free. All right, so you look at it and you say, all right, here's how we have to learn to speech. This is the manner in which we say things. Titus. You can give all of this instruction to the young men, to the older men, to the younger women, to the older women, to the servants and the masters, but you need to exemplify good conduct, verse seven. And you need to exemplify sound speech. When you are communicating this message, Titus, you need to do so in a healthy manner. in order that people have no legitimate basis to attack, not just the content of what you said, but the manner in which you said it. And when it's all said and done, those who are in opposition to you, if you've done this correctly, will have nothing evil, nothing bad to say concerning you. Sound of speech, not only does it balance accuracy of content with delivery, but the balance of sound of speech also balances graciousness of character with perception of need. I wanna turn to Colossians chapter four. Originally, this was the only text I was going to be in. Sound of speech, secondly, balances graciousness of character with perception of need. Colossians chapter 4, if you look at the context of verse 6, you find that it is within the context of advancing the kingdom of God through our witness. Paul even asks that these believers pray for him that he would be given an opportunity to be able to speak the mystery of Christ But it's interesting, even Paul recognized the importance of the manner in which he speaks, verse four, that I may make it manifest as I ought to speak. Never thought of Paul needing boldness, but he prays for that in Ephesians 6. Paul says, I want you to pray that I'm given the opportunity, but I also want you to pray that I make it known properly. And so within the context of this, he gives the instruction in verse five to walk in wisdom toward them that are without. Be conscious of how you act around the unsaved, redeeming the time, making the most of the opportunities. And then he gives us this insight in verse six. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man." In large part, we might say the focus of Colossians 4, 2-6 is on establishing good relationships with individuals, including those who are outside the church. These relationships necessitate that we engage in regular conversation. but we do so with an intent praying for opportunities to be able to share the gospel message. It's okay to talk about normal things, okay? You don't have to walk up to somebody and immediately start the plan of salvation. Hi, my name's Dan. I want you to know God loved you. It's okay to talk about normal things, to look for opportunities. and to pray for God to direct opportunities. You may discover they're already saved. You may discover they've got tremendous hurts that you knew nothing about. Be real with people. Let them know how much you truly care about them. And part of that is developing relationships. But what we find with the content of our words, if you are taking notes, letter A under point number two would be this. Words must maintain a graciousness of character. Words must maintain a graciousness of character. The Bible says, let your speech be always with grace. That word always suggests always or at all times. At all times, your speech, my speech, is to be gracious. So does God permit a single moment of speech that is ungracious? Kind of hard to argue that, isn't it? I sure feel better though after I said that. Do you realize the Bible never permits an individual to vent, fly off the handle, or say whatever comes to mind? Well, I just needed to get it off my chest. Why were you even thinking that way to begin with? That's the biblical response. It's really hard to suggest that I've got the right to just say whatever comes to my mind when I read of the phrase temperance or self-control in the Bible. It's the fruit of the Spirit. The idea then that I can just vent and say whatever comes to my mind or exhibit a total lack of self-control is something that should never characterize us. Gracious speech, on the other hand, is to characterize us at all times. So what does it mean to have speech that is characterized by graciousness? Let me give you five things. This first one is the really intelligent one. Gracious words, number one, reflect the work of God's grace. told you is really powerful, really intelligent. It took me all night to think of that. Gracious words reflect the work of God's grace. Why do I say that? Because if you are a believer, you are a transformed person. You are different. Your outlook is different, your life is different, and your speech is to be different. I've heard far too many professing believers have a mouth that doesn't sound as though they have experienced the work of God's grace in their hearts. Now they'll show up to church and they'll check off all their duties for the week, but their mouth reveals something much differently. What about the scribes and the Pharisees? They knew the law. knew it better than you and I know it. They were experts in Old Testament Scripture. But listen to how they spoke to Jesus. Their words did not reflect the work of God's grace. You've probably heard the saying, give a man enough rope and he'll eventually hang himself. Let a person talk long enough. and they'll eventually reveal themselves. Just sit back and listen. If my speech is to display the work of God's grace, then I cannot speak words of bitterness, anger, or condescension. Because it starts with this premise, I am what I am by the grace of God. You are what you are by the grace of God. The ground is level at the foot of the cross. We all start at the same place. Number two, gracious words seek only the well-being of others. Gracious words seek only the well-being of others. It goes to say that if my words are seeking the well-being of others, naturally, I'm going to avoid all forms of speech that is destructive in its nature. So I'm going to avoid anger. I'm going to avoid slander. And I'm going to avoid gossip. Every morning I do a devotional online and just am going through the book of James and just finished the section of the tongue in James chapter 3. I wasn't even convicted by it in the least bit, I'm teasing, but what a challenging passage of Scripture that that is. One of the thoughts though that really struck me is how much do I spend time talking about somebody else? How much of our conversations are geared about whoever it might be? It reveals a heart problem. If my speech seeks only the well-being of others, then I will avoid anything that is destructive or detrimental to them. Number three, gracious words seek only the glory of God. Gracious words seek only the glory of God. Bible tells us there are certain things that God hates. God hates pride. God hates selfishness. God hates the concept of self-advancement. I often use my tongue to make myself look better in the eyes of everyone else. When I do so, I'm no longer seeking the glory of God, I'm seeking my glory. I joked with Dr. Beale that I had an introduction all written out for him to say about me. It was very glowing. Amazing how wonderful of a person I am. He didn't read it, needless to say. But it's okay, he still has a copy of it, maybe he'll read it next time. What's the purpose of all of those things? Do I have to tell someone else how great of a person I am? Far too many preachers are focused on themselves and not on the glory of God. Our gracious words should seek only the glory of God. Number four, gracious words seek only that which advances God's kingdom. Gracious words seek only that which advances God's kingdom. There are some things that we say that are a detriment to the cause of Jesus Christ. We get our focus all caught up on how it affects me and what it's doing to me or my reputation. Let's think bigger than that. What's it doing to the cause of Jesus Christ? Sound speech will strive to avoid anything that hinders the advancement of God's kingdom. Number five, gracious words reflect an abundance of God's word. Gracious words reflect an abundance of God's words, Colossians chapter 3 and verse 16. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. You can tell, as well as I can tell, someone who spent time with the Lord. It may not be, by the way, that they advanced a bookmark. It may be that they read one verse and pondered it for a considerable time. But you can tell they spent time with the Lord. Why? Because their speech gives that away. Not only must words maintain a graciousness of character, but letter B under the outline, words must be perceptive of need. Let your speech be always with grace. Now notice seasoned with salt. It's a lot of discussion as to all that is meant with salt. Salt was a commodity then of immeasurable value. In fact, even slaves were sold within the Roman Empire because of salt and the value that it had to that society. was used for a variety of purposes. Often we think of it as a preservative. It was a purifying agent. Babies were rubbed in it, kind of interestingly. 2 Kings 2 indicates that Elisha purified a polluted spring with salt. But among other things, it was used as a seasoning agent. What does it mean to have speech then that's characterized with salt? Well, I think it would suggest that, number one, our words are to be life-preserving. I already mentioned Proverbs 18 and verse number 21 where the Bible tells us that death and life are in the power of the tongue. With that little member of your body, you've got the ability to tear someone down, or you've got the ability to lift someone up. As believers, our words ought to be life-preserving. It ought to preserve life, not destroy it. Number two, our words should be purifying. Speech that is not purifying is by default corrupting. James wrote in James 3, out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. Doth a fountain or a spring send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? The answer is no, it can't. Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? Again, no. Can a vine figs? Again, no. So can no fountain yield both salt water and flesh. If what comes out of the headwaters is corrupt, what is it downstream? It's still corrupt. It's not better. It's actually going to be worse because it picked up more corruption on the way down. Our speech, our words ought to be purifying. Thirdly, our words ought to be enhancing. If we were to ask Chef Marco if he uses salt, I think the answer is going to be yes. In fact, well, he's got the Italian flair, so I can't say this completely true, but I'll bet salt is going to be one of his top five Flavor enhances. What happens if he doesn't use salt? Everybody else uses salt. And after we've salted it enough, we tell him how good his meal was. Prior to our salting it, no. Some of you have perhaps, no, I should not say this, never mind. Message on speech. What would happen? What would happen if we were to take the entire bag of salt and pour the entire bag on one hamburger? Is it enhancing? What happens with too much salt? It becomes quite offensive and might even lead to death. You know, sometimes you don't need to say what comes to mind. I'm learning this. When the proper amount of salt is used, flavors are enhanced. When you are dealing with people, discern how much salt to use. Don't just pour it all on. It doesn't need that much. Seasoned with salt. I've heard people, oh, I just tell it like it is. Well, stop. Very simple. Because your acting like that is detrimental. It's detrimental to the cause of Christ. It's offensive to people. And to be quite honest with you, it's irritating. So stop. Nobody needs to hear that. Nobody wants to hear that. It doesn't do any good. Salt is used to enhance flavor. When you have the right amount of salt added to your speech, it is effective. It is, to use the analogy, flavorful. Number four, our words are to reflect our responsibility. Jesus described his disciples repeatedly as the salt of the earth. Wouldn't it be fitting then for our words to reflect our responsibility? So we've noted that sound speech balances accuracy of content with spirit of delivery. We've noted that it balances graciousness of character with perception of need. It's to always be with grace at all times and seasoned with salt. Number three, sound speech balances the issues of the temporal with the reality of the eternal. He says in verse number six that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. Here's the result of effective speech. Maybe the purpose of it doesn't really make much difference. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, in order that, or for the purpose that, you may know how you ought to answer every man. Let me say that if your speech is not characterized by graciousness and is not seasoned with salt, you are a hindrance to the spread of the gospel. Much of our speech is unfortunately focused on the wrong thing. I would rather make my point than disciple a believer. I would rather be certain that I'm right than to be right with God. I would rather give them a piece of my mind than the message of salvation. I would rather prove my point than demonstrate God's love. What's the problem? I've developed a wrong focus on the temporal, and I've lost sight of the eternal. The person with whom you are speaking is going to spend an eternity somewhere. I don't want my words to be a hindrance to the cause of Jesus Christ. I don't want to substitute the temporal and get my point across at the expense of the eternal. Let me close with a word of prayer and we'll have Dr. Beal come. Lord, I want to thank you for this time. Hope and pray that this has been a help to us. I pray that you would help us to truly examine our own lives and examine the manner in which we say things to be certain that we are truly above reproach. I thank you for the passages that we've been able to study. And Lord, I ask that you would challenge us here in these closing moments in Jesus' name. Amen.