It's a great privilege to be here. It really is. And like you said, my name is Paul Washer. I'm 49 years old. My greatest claim to fame is that I'm married to a woman by the name of Charo Casado de Nunez. She's from Peru. Her name is Charo. And I have three children, Ian, who is nine, Evan, who is seven, and Rowan who is three and a half. And I have pictures of all of them if you'd want to see them after the meeting. My greatest hope here is that you would come to understand that walking with Jesus Christ is above absolutely everything else. It's about loving God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. And to realize you cannot make a claim to doing that unless you love your neighbor as yourself. And your neighbor is the person closest to you. I've done a lot of things in my life. I've been a missionary for many years in many difficult and horrible places. I've had to do a lot of difficult and costly things. But the hardest call of discipleship in my life has been marriage. It's not because of my wife. But it's because of what marriage really involves. Most of what you probably think about marriage is not true. Amy Carmichael, many years ago, famous missionary to India, said that missions was an opportunity to die, was an opportunity to die to yourself. You say, well, that's not doesn't sound that appealing. No, it doesn't. Unless your heart has been regenerated by the Holy Spirit and you're truly a Christian, that will not be appealing at all. That will be disgusting to you. What do you mean an opportunity to die to myself? I want to live for myself. No, Jesus said that to find life, we must lose it. And the greatest opportunity I've ever had to lose my life was in marriage. See, marriage is about making a commitment, guys. to one woman with everything that you have. I travel around the world preaching. I direct a mission organization. I have a great deal of responsibility. The number one ministry in my life is one woman. And I mean that. One woman. She comes before my ministry. She comes before my children. One woman. Now, I almost want to stop and talk to management here for a moment, because I've kind of got a dilemma. What you really need is going to take more than 45 minutes. What I teach on this usually takes about three sessions of an hour, because you see, we can't tweak you. I know this is going to be offensive to you, but you're totally broken. We can't tweak you. We can't add a few little silly Christian clichés onto a secular life and that result in true discipleship. I'm sorry, it's not going to happen. I'm talking about following Jesus Christ. You say it's not difficult in the United States. The most difficult place I've had to follow Jesus Christ, the most costliest place is the United States. And if it doesn't cost you anything, it's because you've bought in to American Christianity. But that's not why I'm here at all. I'm telling you, if you're just the normal, typical evangelical, you're wrong about almost everything. We are so far removed from Scripture that if someone comes to us with Scripture, we think they're out of their minds. Well, I'm going to come to you with Scripture. And I don't know, I'd love to do this about three or four times here on campus so we could get through the whole thing. So I'm going to start tonight. And if it bores you and you never want to come back again, that's fine. But I'm not going to jump right into courtship. Because there's fundamental issues you've got to get to first. Now, one thing I want to look at just for a moment is what was called and still is called the Christian Manifesto, and that's the Sermon on the Mount. In Matthew chapter 7, Jesus makes a very important statement. He contrasts basically two gates. One gate is himself. And the other gate represents absolutely every other person or ideology telling you there's any other Savior other than Jesus Christ. There's only one gate and it's Jesus Christ. But then he says there's not only one gate. He says there's one way and it's narrow. And see, American evangelicalism is a direct contradiction to all of that. Much of what you believe is a direct contradiction to that. You see, if I were to reinterpret the words of Jesus looking at the typical young evangelical or the typical evangelical today, it would be this. The gate is small. You can only be saved through Jesus, but the way is broad. Then you can live just like the world. You can define everything just as the world defines it. Just make it Christian. Now, he said there's a small gate and he said there's a narrow way. That word in the Greek speaks of two things. One, It's narrow in the sense that there's great opposition against you. If you are going to walk with Jesus Christ, you are going to be opposed by everything in the world and by the great majority of evangelicals. You're going to be opposed. But also, the word means confining. The old commentary writers and theologians would put it this way. Imagine walking on the narrowest of paths where you almost have to turn your shoulders to be able to walk down that path, because on both sides is sheer rock going up as far as you can see. That's the Christian life. That Jesus Christ has done more than die for you on a tree. He told you how you're supposed to live and you have no right to live any other way. I'm sorry, that's discipleship. And so what you have to see is that this this Lord, he's Lord of absolutely everything, absolutely everything. I live in a culture that always demands its rights. I'm called to give up every one of them. Every one of them. So that which is written to the scriptures and let me ask you a question, I'm just going to throw some things out. How much of your life is defined by what the Word of God says, by what Jesus says, and how much of it is defined by culture? Just think about that. How many Christians do you know could open up a Bible and go down biblically, verse by verse, and show you why they do what they do in their relationships with the opposite sex? How many Christians do you know could open up the Bible and go verse by verse and tell you, this is why I dress this way. This is why I talk this way. This is why I'm in college. Almost no one. So you see. Putting on a Christian T-shirt doesn't make you radical. Even saying you believe in Jesus doesn't make you radical. Entering in the narrow gate is allowing Him to define your life and not in general terms. See, there's your problem. Oh, Jesus is everything to me and Jesus is Lord. OK, specifically, though, explain to me what that means. What does it cost you? How have you changed your life from the course the rest of the world is walking in? Well, I don't know what you're talking about. Therein lies the problem. You don't know what I'm talking about. You know, one of the most terrifying statements in all the Bible is when Jesus says, Not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven, he will enter in. Now, in Hebrew, the New Testament, of course, was recorded in Greek, but We know that the writers were principally Hebrew with a Hebrew mindset. And here's something that's very, very important to understand. In Hebrew, in order to emphasize or give clarity, repetition is carried out. For example, Isaiah chapter six, In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw also the Lord high and lifted up, and a train filled the temple, and above him stood the seraph, each one having six wings, with two they covered their face, with two they covered their feet, and with two they did fly. And one cried unto the other, Holy, holy, holy. Now that repetition, It's very important. It's saying above everything you need to know about God, He's holy. Well, in the same way, when Jesus says, not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord. Will enter the kingdom of heaven. You know what he's saying? He's saying not everyone who emphatically confesses me to be Lord will enter the kingdom of heaven. So what is your confession of faith in Jesus Christ worth? Zero. Not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my father who is in heaven will enter. Now, we have to come to a big conclusion here. Big question. Your salvation depends upon it. Is Jesus teaching that in order to be saved, we must believe in him and also do the will of the father, which means salvation is by faith and by works? Absolutely not. Salvation is by faith alone. But how many of you have ever heard the term born again? Any of you? You know what that term's come to mean in America? That you prayed a prayer and asked Jesus to come into your heart. Or that you believe or you made a decision. No, born again refers to regeneration. Recreation. It's that passage in Second Corinthians 517, if anyone be in Christ, he's a new creature. You see, if you've truly believed in Jesus Christ, here's what happens. Your heart changes. You really become different. And as a different creature. You live a different way, this is the way it works. A lost man has a nature of a lost man, the Bible teaches that it's it's evil. inclined toward evil. That's why you don't have to teach little children to lie. That will is controlled by that nature, and it works this way. If you have an evil nature, a bad nature, then you have bad affections, bad desires. And if you have bad desires, they control your will and direct you, you see? Now, in the same way, in order to fix all this, you've got to go back to the very core of the problem, the heart. And if you have believed in Jesus, if you truly have unto salvation, you have been regenerated and your heart has been changed. And that new heart has new affections. And those affections are righteous and holy and Godward, and those new affections drive your will to a different life. You know, a lot of people think that Christianity is they think Christianity is. doing all the righteous things you hate and avoiding all the wicked things you love in order to go to heaven. No, that's a lost man and religion. A Christian is a person whose heart has been changed. They have new affections, but like a child that's been born, they're going, I have new affections. They're Godward. I love God. I want to be conformed to the image of Christ. But how do I do it? And that's where the word of God comes in. It's not burdensome to you, forcing you to do what you don't want to do and keeping you from doing all the rotten things you want to. No, you've been changed. You just need to know how to walk now. The problem is, because the gospel presentation in America is so weak, pray this prayer, ask Jesus to come into your heart, you're saved. So many people think they're saved, but their heart, their desires, everything has not been changed ever. And so then you get them into a discipleship program and you try to force them to walk like a sheep when they're still a goat. It doesn't work. So the first thing is the gospel of Jesus Christ. The evidence that you're a Christian is not that you confess faith in Jesus or you're a part of some Christian ministry or anything. It's that your affections have changed. They're Godward. You love Jesus Christ. And you have no bones about, if it says in Scripture you're to do something, Okay, let's do it. He said it. He's master. That's what Lord means. Now, you remember in also in this passage where it says that the way is narrow that leads to life. And there are few who will find it. That's terrifying. There are few that will find this way that leads to life. Now, that's what it says. Now, some people think, well, what Jesus is talking about there, there are a few people who confess Him and all the atheists and everybody else, the big majority of the world and Hollywood and Sodom and Gomorrah and everything. It's all going to hell. But those of us who confess Jesus Christ, we're the few that are going to be saved. No, that's not what he's saying. In the context, he's saying this. Among those who claim me to be Lord, few will be saved. That's the context. You see that? Among those who claim me to be Lord, few will be saved. That's why he then says, not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my father who's in heaven. That's amazing. And it's a total contradiction to American evangelicalism. It is. Now, one last thing before we go on, and it's this, he also said, that on that day, he will say to this great majority of people who said, Lord, Lord, he will say, I never knew you. Depart from me, you workers of iniquity. Now, first of all, he says, I never knew you. You know, however, one today, it's kind of an evangelical cliche. Do you know Jesus? That's really not the question. You see, I could go up to the White House today or tonight and I could knock on the gates and I'm sure guards would come out and they'd go, you know, sir, can we help you? Yes, I want to see President Obama. And? And I go, well, I know him. Am I going to get in? Am I going to see a president or a king by saying I know him? Absolutely not, I'm not going to get in. But if while I'm talking to these guards, President Obama walks out and goes, Paul, hey, let him come on through. I'm going in. Do you see the difference? You know, Jesus, I don't want to be trite with you, but big deal. Does Jesus know you? And that word, no. In the Greek, it really has no big significance. It's just ginosko. It's just the Greek idea. But when you infuse it with the Hebrew idea, it's amazing. It refers to a relationship that is intimate, so intimate that oftentimes, even in the New Testament, in Matthew chapter 1, it's used with regard to sexual relationship. And what he says, you and I never had an intimate relationship. What? You went through that track and then prayed the prayer at the end? What's that? I never knew you. You didn't come to me, seek me. We didn't walk together, talk together. You didn't seek me for counsel. You didn't follow my law. You didn't treat me as king. You weren't a part of any of the principles or commands of the kingdom. Absolutely not. I don't know you. Depart from me. And then he says, workers of iniquity. Now, to us today, that doesn't... Mean very much? But the Greek word is anomos. Anomos is law. A is a negative sort of particle that prefix that says no law. And this is what he's saying. Depart from me, those of you who claim to be my disciples, but you lived as though I never gave you a law to obey. Now, isn't that frightening? How many of you? are guiding your life based on principles, commands and laws and statements of wisdom that Jesus has given. How many Christians do you actually know that are living that way? It's apart from me, those of you who said, Lord, Lord, and considered yourselves to be my disciples, but you lived as though I never gave you a law to obey. That's something. That's something. But it's true. It's just true. I'm twice the age of you guys. I still sometimes, in the quiet hours of the evening, sit alone with the Word. Do I know thee, O Lord? After all these years of walking with him, I have tremendous assurance of salvation. And the blessings in my life, his guidance, his discipline in my life, all of it summing up that, yes, I know him. He knows me. But you have to understand, you come out of a Christianity that in its theology is absolutely despicable. Now, how do I come off saying something like that? You know, it's a pretty big statement, isn't it? Me standing up here and saying that American evangelicalism is Well, see, here's what you need to understand about Christianity. We're a historical religion. That means if one of you guys, you pull out your Bible one day and you interpret a certain verse and you go share it with someone and they ask you, how do you know it means that? You go, well, that's what it means. How do you know? Well, one of the ways that you will know is if you go through 2000 years of Christian history and everybody else disagrees with you, you're probably wrong. Right? Well, guess what? That's where we're at in America today. You go back a hundred years and try to find the superficial gospel that's being preached today. You go back just a hundred years and try to find what we are today. Then. Go back to Augustine or century, for that matter, go to Luther, go to Calvin, go as far as you want Puritans, early evangelicals in England, whatever you would like. We're an aberration. I'm not saying this to hurt you. I'm saying it because it's true. It really is, and you need to be afraid about it and you need to get serious. What did you expect? It's what Jesus said one time, what did you expect going out to see John, a reed shaken in the wind or someone who wears fine clothes? Those who wear fine clothes live in king's palaces. Did you come here tonight? to just to hear funny stories about how bad I messed up in dating and try to then say to you at the end, don't do the same. Jesus loves you. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to tell you the truth. We're going to go into Scripture, but thing is, we're not really going to start. We can't start with courtship because there's another underlying thing. Do you truly know him? And then as knowing him, are you willing to commit yourself to following him? Not a man, not some kind of sectarian view of Scripture. But are you willing to get into Scripture and look at the grammar and look at the history and decide, am I going to live a Christian life or am I going to be conformed to this age? What am I going to do? Now, this is particularly important. In the area, though, that we're talking about tonight. And that is marriage. You live in a culture that hates Marriage. You live in a culture that hates men and you live in a culture that hates women. You live in a culture that hates children. You live in a culture that hates home. And hates family. Matter of fact, you live in a culture that hates just about everything God loves. And you have not escaped without being tainted by it, none of us have. So let's look at some things. First of all, we must be aware of our reality as a people before we ever even start talking about courtship. We must be aware of our reality as a people. I want to give you a passage that's quoted twice in the book of Judges. And if you guys want later on, if we do this again or something, I'll just bring notes. You guys can have all the notes, whatever. But. In those days, there was no king in Israel and every man did what was right in his own eyes. Now, we don't have a king. That's fine. But we have a heavenly king. We have an authority. And what this passage is saying, that in the days when Israel had no authority whatsoever governing their land, everyone did what was right in his own eyes. Now, let me ask you a question. All the decisions you make as a young person, how many of those decisions are based on you doing simply what's right in your own eyes? And how many times specifically have you gone to Scripture looking for the answer with regard to anything? Do you see what I'm saying? You say, well, God's given us wisdom. Yes, he has. But that wisdom must be honed in his word. You see, I want you to think about something. Sixteen hours a day, most of you are awake. Some of you probably maybe a lot less. I don't know. But most people are 16 hours a day. And how much time are you in the word? And yet, for 16 hours, you are bombarded by everything the world wants you to know. Do you see that? Everything the world wants you to know. You're bombarded by 16 hours a day. And then maybe, since the Christian community really isn't that serious about devotion, piety, and the study of Scripture and prayer, we've got all these little books and gimmicks and stuff where you can get it all done in 15 minutes and put Jesus back in the closet. You see, your mind has to be renewed with the Word of God or you'll be just like the people of Israel. They did what was right in their own eyes. Don't you know that they stood there with all those pagan countries all around them saying, hey, we're the people of God. Yahweh is God. Yet they were doing exactly what the nations were doing. Guess what? So are we in America. So are we. Listen to this, Hosea 4, 6, My people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge. Specifically, guys, listen to me, girls, in marriage, people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge. You don't realize that the very things you're doing right now will impact your marriage. The very things you're doing now will impact your marriage. Guys, every time you go on the Internet and see something you're not supposed to see, it is going to impact your ability to love your wife. And to lay down your life for her. What you're doing right now, the things you're doing without knowledge, being right in your own eyes are absolutely destroying, destroying the possibility of a grand future. Yes. Now, He says, my people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge because you have rejected knowledge. I will also reject you from being my priests. One of the greatest doctrines of Christianity is the priesthood of the believer. This idea, though, that you think that just because you know Jesus now, you're going to be this person who is a servant of God and this mediator to help men come to know him and all these different things. And yet, because of your lack of knowledge, he cannot use you. One of the things you've got to be very careful about in student ministries. You go out, you witness to somebody and you get them saved and then you take them through a few discipleship books and you tell them to go disciple others. No, I know that goes against everything you believe, but I'm telling you, no. What do they even know about being a human being in Christ? So, well, they can share what they know, they can share all kinds of error. We have to realize that we are to be a people who are knowledgeable when the Word of God comes, when we open our mouth, the Word of God comes out, not just something we can repeat from a little book we've read. We must be very careful. Discipleship is necessary, but there are some things that need to be done to make it biblical. Can't just turn people loose saying all kinds of things that aren't biblical. Now, he says this. Listen, Isaiah 1, 4 through 6. A last sinful nation, people weighed down with iniquity, offspring of evildoers, sons who act corruptly, who have abandoned the Lord. They have despised the Holy One of Israel. They have turned away from Him. Where will you be stricken again as you continue in your rebellion? The whole head is sick and the whole heart is faint from the sole of the foot even to the head. There is nothing sound in it, only bruises, welts and raw wounds not pressed out or bandaged or softened with oil. Every person, the greatest, most well-known preachers, theologians and others, isn't this what they're saying? The church in America is just beaten to pieces? Do you know, I travel all over the world working with missions, and one of the things that people in other countries lament is how their Christianity has been destroyed with the influx of American missionaries. By the easy believism we have, our trite little ways of leading people to Christ and our worldliness and our ungodliness. They said, don't send them. Don't send them. Yes. They're the same people who, when they come back from mission trips, tell you that 500 people got saved. The only problem is none of those 500 people went to church the next day. One Romanian. Leader told me, he said, Paul, if everything those groups that come over and do evangelism here in our country and those evangelists from America and their crusades and all that stuff that goes on, if what they say is true about how many people have been saved in their ministries in my country, then everyone in Romania has been saved four times. It's all a lie. And it is. What part of your Christianity do you want exported? And what part should be quarantined? What part of your life would you want other people to have? What part of it is so biblical that it ought to be proclaimed to the nations? You see, we are a people that are this way. Let me give you an example of what I mean. I'll give you two examples. One is this. Now, I'm not against swimming or going to the pool or whatever, but I just want to give you an example for you to maybe think a red flag. What Christians wear to the beach today. I'm not saying pro or con, I'm just saying this. What Christians wear to the beach today. If someone had dressed that way 60 years ago, the secular authorities would have either had them incarcerated or fined or sent off for mental counseling. Now, that's true. Do you realize that? Now, I'm not saying right or wrong. The only thing I want you to see is, man, if in 60 years what Christians do today was considered illegal and insane by lost people 60 years ago, could something be wrong? See, we don't think there is. He said they have eyes, but they cannot see. They have ears, but they do not hear. The heart of this people has grown like wax. Do you see the problem there? We give another example with regard to Christian knowledge. Several years ago, a friend of mine from British Columbia sent me a book on logic. Very important. You ought to study logic. Sent me a book on logic. Well, I had studied logic in college. have my master's degree, all kinds of things, studying logic, philosophy, theology. Well, I read through the first chapter and I thought, man, this is hard. This is tough. So I read through the first chapter three times, understood where he was going. I could deal with his terms. I could converse back with the pages. OK, I get this. I closed the book and I think I went in the kitchen to get something to eat. I came back and I looked at the front of the book and I was like, That's unusual. It was like an ink blot type block drawing on the book. I kept looking at it. Why is that there? It was a picture of a schoolmaster, a headmaster standing like this over a group of children that looked to be like eight years old, that he was like drilling them. And I thought, why is that on this book? I opened up and started reading the preface of the book, and I realized It was the logic primer for grade school children in the colonial period. You see, here's my pleading with you. When you are completely removed from history and you're entertained to death, I mean, some of you guys, 15 year old men have led other men into battle and some of you guys are in college and the only thing you can think about is saving up money for the next Xbox or Halo. When you separate yourself from history, you have no barometer. You have no way of seeing how far have we fallen? Where are we compared to everyone else? And then if you just take the scriptures and you turn your Christian youth groups and Christian college groups into entertainment and fun and all these different things, just like the world, but Jesus is thrown in there and you got everybody full of noise and everything going on. No one can stop and think. Where are we? What are we? What have we become? What are we? And that's what I want you to see. You see, I can't come here and just slap down a few little principles for you to take home. It's the idea of, look, you've got to realize, first of all, things are dramatically wrong. If I am going to follow Jesus Christ, I need to get in the word. I need to use that head of mine. I need to study Scripture. I need to ask some serious questions about the Christianity I'm in, because the Christianity that I'm in at this place and time in America differs from Christianity all over the place. It is an American brand. And it's dangerous. And that's where we are. Now, I want us to look at a few other things. And this is very important. We must be convinced that the entirety of our lives must abound to the glory of God and be submitted to his revealed will. Now, notice there I said we must be convinced that our lives are to abound to the glory of God. Now, most people would say, hey, man, yeah, glory God. But then I throw in the part, according to his revealed will, and that's where the kicker comes in. You can talk all day about the glory of God. Jesus said, if you love me, you will keep my commandments, which cannot be kept if they're not known. You know what the greatest problems is? You're going to hate me for this, but I'm going to tell you anyways, it's this. Our poor view of soteriology, which is our view of how people are saved and what it means to be saved, is so twisted and trite compared to the classic works in theology and scripture. That what we've done is we've done this church, basically. is all about church growth principles, about getting people in, getting people in, getting people in. Make the church big. We're growing. We're thumping. We're going. So what do you do? You go out in the community. You go out into your culture and you find what they want. Well, if you're going to have a college group or you're going to have a youth group or you're going to have this or that, man, you've got to have the music, you've got the lights, get some Xboxes in there. Let's go and we've got them coming in. We're doing all this stuff. And here's what you do. You end up redesigning the church for the carnal man. So you have this church designed to meet the pleasures of a carnal man. So the sheep that just want Jesus, they starve to death. While everyone is trying to keep the carnal man. And that's wrong. That's wrong. And so Scripture is not proclaimed boldly from the pulpit. There is no exhortation. There's no prophetic standing up and saying, thus saith the Lord, you're wrong, because that would drive all the people away. And we can't have that. Of course, also, we can't have that because we built that really big building for all those people to get in and somebody's got to pay for it. Someone came to our church one time and they said, but. They said, brother Paul, I love you, but. You know, if we take someone who doesn't know anything about Jesus to any one of these churches around here, you know, they fit right in. I mean, there's all kinds of stuff. But you guys, you start church by praying for half hour, the entire congregation. Then it's very simple, but powerful theological songs. And then the Word of God is preached for an hour. Very, very, I mean, this line by line, just Scripture, Scripture, Scripture. How would they adapt to something like that? You see that question? What he's saying is that we can take them to churches where it'll be just like the world for them. They'll be entertained, happy, everything else. Guys, that's not what we're supposed to do. I want you to have the most blessed life in the world, and I see a machine eating up young people like you every day, a machine. of American Christianity just eating you alive. A whole bunch of the world and a little bit of Jesus. What you need is to make a decision, not about courtship, but about Christianity itself. Are you going to follow Jesus Christ according to His Word? Or are you going to follow Him according to culture, which has so infiltrated the church that you can hardly find it? This is an important question. Now, I want us to look at a few things, a few contexts that are very, very important. I'm going to have to skip over some things. And what I'm going to do is I'm going to give you a thing on just a thing for a moment on recreational dating and then hit a few points that are very important. And if we ever do this again, I'll come back and teach it at length point by point. The first thing I want you to realize that recreational dating is heretical. It is not scriptural and it is extremely, extremely dangerous. Let me just read for you. The practice of recreational dating is so far removed from scripture that it is not even addressed. It is a recent phenomenon that is not that only that not only is not found in scripture, but is hardly found in the annals of human history. It is simply the product of a godless and lawless culture that is motivated by ignorance in the flesh rather than the Scriptures of the Spirit of God. Why do people date without any intention to marry? Now, recreational dating, that's what it means. And recreational dating is exposed in this way. Some guy says, I'm going out with so and so. And you go, oh, really? What? I mean, you know, how did God show you that this is the person that you ought to marry? They go, what? I mean, they're like, what are you talking about? Well, yes, as God showed you is a possibility of marrying this young woman. Well, no. Well, then why are you going out with her? Well, because because why? Let me give you a few reasons. One, to satisfy the lust of the flesh. Either through immorality or entertainment. You're just dating this person. What are you getting out of it? What commitment are you making? What are you doing? Secondly, to satisfy heartfelt passions that may be biblical, but not seeking them in God's way. What do I mean by that in the context of a lifelong commitment to God and embracing and embracing without the sacrificial demands of such a commitment? And what I mean by that is this. is wanting to enter into a relationship that requires no long term commitment whatsoever. So that you can take off at any time. OK, let me let me give you a few examples. Even in marriage, a young guy will walk into my office and he'll say, you know, Paul, I'm in love. I have a two-by-four I usually keep behind my desk. Whenever someone walks in like that, I just smack them with it right upside their head. Kind of clear their mind a little bit. I say, so you're in love. They say, yeah, I'm in love. I go, well, what do you mean? Why do you want to marry this girl? Well, man, she's just beautiful. Okay. And I just love being around her. Great. We can talk. And I just feel like she completes me. She just fills me. I mean, I just want to be with her. And I go, wow. OK, so, you know, but let me just throw that back at you, make sure I'm understanding you. You want to be with this girl because she meets all your selfish, self-centered passions and desires. Is that what you're telling me? No, that's not what I mean, but son, that's what you're telling me. You want to be with her because she's beautiful. Fine. What happens when she's not beautiful anymore? Secondly, what happens when someone else comes along who is more beautiful than she is and that person will come along? You want to be with her because you can talk with her. OK, what happens when you can't talk with her anymore? What happens when someone else comes into your life that you can talk with? You leaving her? You want to be with her because she's lovely. What happens when she's not lovely? Do the unlovely not need love? Tell me, son, I'm confused. Help me out here. Do you see? So much of what we participate in is not true. The whole idea of love. Have you ever heard people say, well, almost every song you've ever heard, we fell in love. You ever heard that? Can you go to scripture for me on that one? It's not even a biblical concept. You fell in love like you fell through a manhole. What did you I mean, what does that mean? You fell in love. I'll tell you what it means. Or, man, it was just bigger than the both of us. It overpowered us. It was bigger than the both of us. Do you know what that kind of language does? It allows you to get involved in a relationship you shouldn't be in and consider yourself a victim. It was too big for me. It just took a hold of us both. What did? What? Chemistry. Oh, OK. What do you mean by that? What do you mean by chemistry? Well, I'll tell you what it is, my friend. The Word of God has a word for it. It's lust. Lust, which at its root is just selfishness. She had what I wanted. I fell in love. No, love is not something you fall into. It's not this power that controls the universe. It is a thing. It is a commitment. I love my wife and I think my wife is beautiful. As a matter of fact, I love my wife now more than when we met. But here's what I want you to see, the difference in Christian love. I believe God called me into the ministry, and if I don't fulfill that ministry, I will be outside the will of God. I also believe that ministry is an irrevocable calling. Now, my marriage is much of the same thing. What do I mean by that? Oh, I think my wife is beautiful. I love being with her. But the basis of my marriage is this. God has called me with an irrevocable, inexcusable calling to lay down my life for one specific woman all the days of her life and to serve her unconditionally Whether she deserves it or not. Do you see that? You say, well, that's just entrapment. I mean, you could throw your whole life away doing that. What did Jesus say? What was it? Those who lose their life for my sake. Well, I don't think he meant that. Well, then what did he mean? Because where you're going at has no cost. My friend, listen, I have walked with him for over 30 years. Well, nearly 30 years. And what I can tell you is this. I've never lamented one sacrifice or one thing I've had to give up in serving Him. I have lamented many times when I have kept me for myself. Do you know what it's like to be a Christian? It is to be solely dedicated to one individual, Jesus Christ. And then when He brings that one individual, the only individual in the world with whom you're going to be one flesh, and He brings that individual into your life and you commit yourself to her, And you instead of going, oh, she was in an accident and she's terribly deformed, the very thing that attracted me to her is now gone. Or she's gone old or she has become wrinkled or she has gained weight or she has done all these things instead of the modern mind, which says, OK, all these things, I'm out of here because I'm not getting any longer what I bought in for. The Christian mind says. Because of these things. She needs me now more than ever. More than ever, she needs my love. More than ever, she needs to see that I think she's the most beautiful person on the face of the earth. More than ever. And it's costly. It's worth it. The love. Let me just throw you something in about romance. Have you ever heard a guy, he says, wants to divorce his wife because he says, well, I just don't love her anymore. Why? Well, she's not this, this, this and this. Or he'll say, I just don't have any romantic feelings for her anymore. When a man who claims to be a Christian walks in the room and tells me that, this is what I tell him, repent. He says, repent of what? Repent of not serving your wife. And he says, what do you mean? How's that going to cure my lack of romance? Where does every good and perfect gift come from? From God, he says. OK, is romance and a passion for your wife a good and perfect gift? Absolutely. If it's a good and perfect gift and you don't have it anymore, what's the only thing that can cut you off from the blessings of God? Sin. OK, what is your sin? Your sin, sir, is you're consumed with your own passions and your own desires and your own lust, and you're not consumed with serving this woman. If you will go back and start serving her, loving her, giving your life for her prosperity and her benefit and her enjoyment, God will bless you with the good and perfect things that you desire. You see, Christianity just turns the whole thing on its head. And it needs to be turned on its head. I am married because I believe that God has called me with an irrevocable calling to lay down my life for one woman, my wife, Charo. Do you see that? And a person is more important than a ministry. My wife is to be, as you may not know this, even over my children, even though I love my children. I love my children. It's a battle not to love them wrongly. But the greatest thing I can do for my children is to love their mother with a passion. If I want to have happy, secure children, they just need to see me love their mom with a passion and they're going to look up and go, well, this home's intact. Dad's not going anywhere. They just need to see one argument for their heart to begin to quiver. Now, I'm just going to shoot some stuff off the top of my head off of this teaching real quick so that we can go ahead and have something of a question and answer. The first thing that I want you to know. Is that Paul told Timothy to flee youthful lust. Timothy was a young man, he said, flee youthful lust. You live in one of the most lustful and exposed ages in history. Not because men have gotten worse, it's just the opportunities have gotten greater. Internet, media, everything. So you're bombarded by every sort of image and every sort of lustful thing. Young man, if you want to have a passionate love relationship with your wife, guard your eyes. Because here's what's going to happen. Does any of you remember Cindy Crawford, the famous supermodel, Cindy Crawford? I was listening to her one time. I think it was CNN or something. I don't know where it was. I think it was an airport. And she said a statement that I thought was remarkable. She said, what everyone needs to understand is Cindy Crawford doesn't look like Cindy Crawford. And her whole point was, after they take a picture of me, they do all kinds of things. They make my legs longer. If I'm bent this way in that little roll of fat, they take it out. You see, here's the problem, young man. You fill your mind with a bunch of images of something that's not even real. Not even those girls look like that. And then you marry and you enslave your wife. Do you see that? You see how it can mess with your head? You didn't marry a beautiful woman. You didn't do this because our whole view of beauty is just absolutely twisted and perverted. I hate it. Because it kills women. It kills them dead. That's why one of the reasons why you want to protect your eyes, because the more you protect your eyes now from looking at media and looking at other human beings, the more you will be able to passionately love one woman. That's why clothing is important. Really. Now, another thing that I want you to understand. Notice that when he talks about the devil in Ephesians 6, he says that we wrestle with him. And he doesn't tell us to run. He says, wrestling, wrestling. We wrestle not with flesh and blood, wrestling. But when it comes to youthful lust, he says, don't wrestle it. He says, run. Let me give you a little principle. You will not be able to be in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex alone for any normal length of time without falling. It's just not going to happen. It's not going to happen, and you know it. You've already been there, many of you. And when you say falling, you say, well, I haven't. No, falling comes long before what the world today says falling is. You cannot do it. I'll hear one time a young guy came to me, he's getting ready to go to seminary, he's a college student, really loved the Lord. I knew he did. He came to my office and this guy, he was a man's man. And he just breaks down crying in the office. And I said, what's going on? He said, well, you know, my my fiance and I and and we want to be holy. I said, yes, I know her. She's a wonderful girl. And I have great respect for you. What's the problem? Well, we get together and we make these commitments that we're not going to do this and we're not going to do that and we're not going to have physical contact and we're not going to go too far and all these things and all these grandiose ideas. And we read Scripture together and we pray together and then we end up doing something that we hate. Oh, yeah. Mm hmm. I said, what are your What do your campus counselors tell you? Well, they tell us that it's difficult. We need to read the word. We need to pray. I said, tell them to call me. Because they shouldn't be counseling anybody anymore. They're so far off from the biblical picture, it's unbelievable. You can't be strong enough to do something that God already told you not to do. Don't be alone with someone of the opposite sex where you can be in a position to compromise yourself because it will happen if you stay there long enough. That is the biblical mandate. You can't be spiritual enough, strong enough, bold enough, anything else. It's going to happen. So don't do it. Just don't do it. You say, well, that's costly. Welcome to Christianity 101. Welcome. What, you think you were going to get Jesus without cost? That you were going to go to heaven and be just like the world? No. Sorry. It's not going to happen that way. It's not going to happen that way. Especially for you guys that are Christians. You get in a relationship with a girl. You don't practice these principles. And one night you just go too far. And it doesn't help the relationship. You know, you've got to kiss a bunch of toads or whatever it is before you find your prince. That's not true. More toads you catch, more warts you get. The whole thing is, is Guy, you may be in a relationship with a girl that God may want you to marry, but because you're not leading correctly and you're not establishing the principles you ought to be establishing and you compromise yourself with her morally, you think she's looking at you now thinking, what kind of spiritual leader is this? He's led me down a trail that's caused me great pains. And then she's thinking about you. He must think, what kind of Christian am I doing all these things? Young man, let me tell you something. If you want to know where God's going to lay the blame, it's primarily going to be at your doorstep. more than hers. Yeah, you're responsible, she's responsible, but you're responsible more than she is. Have you ever asked yourself this question? When? When can I start thinking about the opposite sex? You ever thought about that? Let me just give you a few pointers. And again, we get another opportunity, we'll go through all this. But let me just... Let me give you, first of all, time of awakening. You know, if you protect a child as a child should be protected, they will wake up to the idea of the opposite sex in a romantic way somewhere around 11, 12. I know that sounds ridiculous to you today. But it also sounds ridiculous to you today that I will not take my boys to the mall. Because I do not want them to see what's hanging on the walls. And I do not want them to see most of the girls and the guys that are walking around that mall. You think that's ridiculous, too. But the Bible says, above all things, I'm to guard the heart of my children. So when he wakes up. And he realizes, wow. Dad, can I talk to you about something? Yeah, sure. Let's talk. All right, let's say he's 13 years old, 12 years old. That's a time of awakening. The world will tell you the lie that when he awakens to these things, it is a sign he ought to begin to participate. Absolutely not. When he awakens to these things, it is a time for him to prepare. To prepare for what? To be a man. To be a man. Same thing with a girl. To become a woman. Manhood. You have been raised in a generation that has three levels. Boy, adolescent, man who functions as a man in society. Right? Now, if some of you guys were standing over there and I need some help and I said, hey, boy, come here, what would you say to me? You'd be mad, wouldn't you? Who are you calling boy? Well, let me ask you, what are you then? I don't want to be smart. I'm just asking a question. Are you a man? Does society look at you as a man? Well, then, according to the Bible, you are a boy. I'm sorry. That group of adolescent thing in there, that's not in the Bible. It's nowhere in history, guys. And it's led to guys being little boys. And then when they're 12, they become an adolescent and they stay there until about 36. It's a wonderful little movie you could watch called Master and Commander. And Russell Crowe, he portrays Lucky Jack Aubrey. And they're going after the English or going after the French privateers. And they're chasing one another around the seven seas. What's amazing there is when they lash the two boats together for warfare. And an army is to be led from the British vessel onto the French pirating vessel. It's amazing. The men are led into battle by a boy that's about 15 years old. What would he be doing today? You see, because they don't teach history and they don't teach the Bible, and we've bought into everything psychological, everything secular, nothing biblical, then we have all these things in which even secular authorities are crying out now saying, are there any men? So when you're awakened, it doesn't mean as a beast you go out and try to mate with something. When you're awakened, it means that if things are correctly done, then you are taken under the wing of your father. You have been since you were born. You're taken under the wing of your father and he trains you to be a man. It is his great purpose in life. Is that happening? No. But it can. Let me share with you something. We are going through right now in the United States something of an awakening, OK, in Christianity. Now, it's not what you think. The media hasn't grabbed a hold of it. And it's not the awakening you think. I'm not talking about TV preachers. There's a genuine awakening going on, much of what happened, very similar to what happened with Wesley and Whitfield. And Daniel Rowlands and the Christians of Wales and England and things like that. Very similar to what happened in the Reformation is going on. Very similar to what even happened with the Puritans. And it is this. We've about come to the end of our rope in the superficiality of evangelicalism, and God is raising up men and even young men and women who are turning back to the idea of truth. Is there truth? And they're going back to the scriptures. And they're studying the old paths, as it says in the Scriptures. And they're discovering. Usually the first doctrine discovered is the doctrine of salvation. Where are we wrong? And it always leads to this. We've reduced salvation down to the acceptance of a creed. Most of the people who claim to be Christian are not. And we've got to re-teach the Gospel and the doctrine of regeneration. What it means to be born again. And that's happening. You see guys like John Piper, John MacArthur, R.C. Sproul, all these different guys popping up. A great blessing. But here's what you've got to see. That Reformation then has to make its way into the Christian life. And as it makes its way into the Christian life, you see radical changes. What does it mean, according to Jesus, to love a woman? What does it mean, according to Jesus, to be a man? What does it mean? What am I supposed to do as a man? You know what the great evangelical community would tell me? You're writing books. You travel around the world. You need to give yourself all the ministry. You've got to do this and that and everything every day and all this. No, I don't. I go home. Why? I have a family. In the providence of God, my number one responsibility is to love a woman. And if ministry has to suffer because of it, it suffers because of it, because God doesn't need me in the ministry. He desires that I'm obedient. Bible did that for me. Saved me from destroying a woman, children and a family. And then after her, what is it? I have two boys and a little girl. Well, you're supposed to be in Nepal preaching. Why aren't you doing that? Because I have responsibility here, right now, here to three children in the providence of God. To do what? To teach those boys to be something their father wasn't. Young man, I hope that you will grow up. I hope that you will marry and I hope that you will marry soon. I hope that you will grow up soon and marry soon. And this is why. You want to know one of the reasons for all the immorality? Because you were awakened to the opposite sex, which is a wonderful thing, by the time you were 9, 10 or 11 years old. In the cultures before, you would have married less than 10 years after that. But because in our culture, most young men don't marry until they're in their 30s, they have to struggle for sometimes 15, 20 years with a godly desire that they can't fulfill because they're not married. I pray that you will marry. And I pray that if you're offered the most tremendous job in the world making six figures and everything else, but you realize you can't do that and love one woman and you can't do that and disciple your own children and pour your life into them, you'll turn down that job and take something that pays half of that. Remember the cost of discipleship thing? And that you will love that one woman and you will invest your entire life in those children. And then you'll be an example of what it means to be a Christian. This is what we're talking about. This is it. Now, I know that this goes against everything, especially if I start teaching about women. I mean, I know that, I mean, Well, let me just throw some things at you so you can be mad at me for a while. I was with Vody Bauckham a couple of years ago and we were up on a platform together. If you haven't ever heard of Vody Bauckham, look him up on the Internet. He's a good friend of mine. He's just a wonderful guy. He's like Apollo Creed, but bigger. And he teaches on the family. And these three girls were in this conference and they were sitting there and just looking at them, you could tell these girls were sharp. All three of them, they're sitting there, one of them raised her hand, said, well, I'm going to all three of us, I think two of them were studying to be doctors and one of them was going to be a lawyer. And they said, we're going to be a doctor, we're going to be doctors and lawyers and we're going to be mothers. And Vody said, how? How? We're going to do it, how? What do you mean, how? Okay. Average doctor works somewhere around 75 to 80 hours a week. Lawyer, about the same. Who's going to raise the kids? Who's going to raise them? Who? I'll tell you who. You're going to hire somebody to do it. They're going to be born and you're going to put them in a preschool. And then after preschool, they're going to go, praise the Lord, they're going to go into public school. and be totally indoctrinated with everything you say you don't believe. And then when you pick them up from wherever they're at, you're going to take them to football and basketball and soccer and everything else. And what you're going to have in the end is not a family. You're going to have a condo where the people come in and they don't even know each other. Why are you having children? Somebody's got to raise them. But see, you have been told that as a woman, to love a man and to raise godly children with him is despicable. That's what you've been told. It's despicable. It is a waste. People say, yeah, you just want the women to stay at home. I stay at home too. I try to get to the office as early as I can. I come home. When I come home, we have a rule. When I'm away, the children belong to my wife. When I get home, they're mine. Poop and all. Until I put them to bed and I'm the last one to kiss their brow. So don't be throwing all this off on women and then just acting like some Neanderthal. You see, God gave a family even before He instituted the church. And see, here's a big problem. Some of you won't get married and say, yeah, just me and my wife have a really good time. You don't understand the just tremendous blessing of children because you live in a culture that kills 4,000 babies a day. 4,000 a day. You see, and that's impacted you. How many of you young guys, man, I don't want to tie myself down. Like what God made was horrid? You just want to run around in bachelor packs all your life, going to cool pizza places and watching football? Is that what you're saying? You see? You came in here thinking you're going to get one thing, you got something completely else, different. And I'm not saying this to hurt you. I'm saying this to help you. In Jeremiah chapter 6, he says to the prophets, he said, you told them peace, peace, when there is no peace. And that's what preachers are doing today. Just come along and join the six flags over Jesus. Have a good time. So you can be a Christian and have a good time. You can be a Christian and look just like the world. No, you can't. I'm sorry. Christian means to die to yourself and serve. And in that you find life and you find joy. You do. And we didn't get to touch anything of what I wanted to touch. But tonight, you see, you've gone to so many little dating things, probably where you've heard little things about dating and oh, that's nice. I wanted to come in here and just hammer you because I love you. Because I hate what's happening. I've been in universities longer, I think I was born in a university. And I want to tell you something, it wasn't until I had my first son that I realized I've studied everything you can possibly study. Greek, Hebrew, patristics, you name it. And if I raise this child, I'll raise him just like a pagan because I know nothing about the practical Christian life. And start going back in the scriptures and then affirming it in history. Looking at the greatest Christians or what is held to be the greatest Christians throughout history and finding their life contradicts mine. So somebody needs to change and they're already dead, so they probably won't be changing. There's so much more to Christianity than what you think. And it is absolutely wonderful. It is. It is. It is. One last thing, when you talk about this, let me ask you a question. What if I just did a historic biblical study of femininity and womanhood? Have you ever done that? And what do you know about being a woman? How do you know that you just didn't buy into everything culture had to sell you, or if I did the same thing with with regard to masculinity or manhood? How do you know if you haven't studied scripture in this, that you just didn't buy into the whole bill of sale of culture? Things need to change and they can change, but it's going to be by returning to the word of God. All right, let's pray. Father, I thank you for this time. Lord, I feel so bad having to jump over so many different things. But Lord, just to awaken for a moment. Lord, if we be pagan, then let us be pagan, but if we'd be Christian. Then let us be Christian. Let us be Christian. Lord, that we not have an impact on the world because we we are like the world, but because we are completely the opposite of the world. Help us, Lord, Jesus. Please visit our Web site as hot crime missionary dot com. There you will find information about the ministry, our purpose, beliefs and methodologies, and extensive information about the missionaries we are privileged to serve.