If you take your Bibles and turn with me to the book of 2 John. The book of 2 John. You can pick any chapter you want to. 2 John. I'm going to preach a message tonight that I have never preached on this topic before. I asked my dad if he'd ever preached on it. He said, no. I asked him if he'd ever heard anyone preach on it. He said no. And so that always makes me a little weary. But with our theme being what it is, just searching throughout. Those who preach, I think, understand this. Sometimes you sit down and the Lord just, there it is. And other times, The Lord kind of, it's more of like a crock pot. Everybody know what I mean? It's sitting back there cooking, but you're just letting it get to where it needs to be. All right. And, uh, I, uh, since we, for about four weeks now, the Lord's laid this upon my heart. And, uh, but because it's something I never heard, it took my time and I really sought the Lord. I studied. I tried to get the Lord's heart on this because it's not an easy message. It will be a message that I think will be beneficial for a lot of people. It will apply in this way that you'll be able to help others with biblical counsel. But I'm going to preach tonight on this, what the Bible says about being a single parent. Because, and again, you say, well, that's not me. Well, you need to hear because, unfortunately, right around 30% of the children in the United States of America as of 2012 are living in single-parent homes. And the Bible does talk about it. And we want to look at it. We want to study it. We want to see what the Bible says. I'm thankful tonight that there's never been a topic The Lord called me to preach when I was 16. Surrendered to it. Done a lot of studying since I was 16. More in the last eight years than ever before. But done a lot of studying. And I'm thankful that there's never been a topic that I've not been able to find in the Scriptures. Even if it doesn't say in black and white, there are just principles from the Word of God that apply to everything. This book is the answer to all of life. We want to look at it and I hope you'll go with me and think I may say some things tonight that may rub us the wrong way. But I encourage you that if it's something that said that rubs the wrong way to look at the scriptures and remove me from the picture and just look at the scriptures tonight. But second, John, let's read the book real quick. But first, let me give you my background. Why this text? I was searching scriptures. What does the Bible say? Where does the Bible address this? You know, when you read the New Testament, you have the Gospels and then you have the books written to the churches. Epistles that are written to maybe a smaller unit, like John would write, he would address just in the next page over in 3 John to the elder and to the well-beloved Gaius, to the man's name, to the church. God believes in authority. If I say that to say this, I think we all can understand this, that if God was sending a message to the Webster family, he would address it to Brother Rob. Everybody follow that. All right. He's the authority in that family. All right. If God and God doesn't send messages to personal families. Right. But, you know, if he did, as they did in the epistles, right, it would have been given. And what caught my attention was the book of Second John. Read it with me. The first verse. Then we'll stand and read the book. But the elder and to the elect lady and her children. Well, it's always addressed to the man, to the leader in the home. But this letter John wrote to the lady and her children, God believes in authority. Amen. John would not have written this letter to a wife without addressing the man. He would have addressed it. So I believe, you know, you say, are you stepping out on a limb? I don't think it's much of a stretch at all. I think we have here, obviously, this lady is getting instruction from a man of God for her and her children. I mean, no matter what you want to go, that's what this book is all about. So we're going to study this and see what we can learn for a single parent and her children. Let's stand, if you're able to, and let's read this book very quickly. Says the elder and to the elect lady and her children whom I love in the truth, and not I only, but also they that have known the truth. For the truth sake which dwelleth in us and shall be with us forever. Grace be with you, mercy and peace from God the Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father in truth and love. I rejoice greatly that I found my children walking in truth as we have received a commandment from the Father. And now I beseech thee, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment unto thee, but that which we had from the beginning, that we love one another. And this is love that we walk after his commandments. This is the commandment that, as you have heard from the beginning, you should walk in it. For many deceivers are entered into the world who confess not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an antichrist. Look not to yourselves that we lose not those things which we have wrought, but that we receive a full reward. Whosoever transgresses and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son. If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him Godspeed. For he that biddeth him Godspeed is partaker of his evil deeds. Having many things to write unto you, I would not write with paper and ink, but I trust to come unto you and speak face to face that our joy may be full. The children of the elect sister greet thee. Amen. Father, I pray you take the message this evening. God, I have sought your face. Lord, I believe this is the message you want for us tonight. I know that. God, I yield myself to you. And Lord, anything you want said, let it be said. What you do not, close my lips. God, may your word be lifted up tonight. Teach us your word. Help help those in this situation. God, to not look at it as a handicap or as a problem, but as where you have placed them and do it for the glory of God. God, I love you and I pray to take this message, please. In your name, I pray. Amen. Thank you. Be seated. This book is written to this lady and to her children. Apparently, this lady was very hospitable, this lady. And as it would have been understand, they didn't have a holiday in on every corner. All right. When people travel from place to place, they were welcomed into their home. And that's one of the great ministries that a lady can have is hospitality. And so this this lady had had obviously this is a place where she had opened her home and there are people who were coming and would stay as they were passing through. But John apparently got word that there was some problem. I'm not saying that she let someone come in, but maybe she had a question. Should I? I kind of get the feeling in reading this letter that John's responding to her. All right. and giving her these answers. And then maybe this person came. I am just giving some thoughts that possibly could happen before we get into the passage. But perhaps someone had come. And even back then, understand this, there were deceivers. There were false teachers and they were very smooth talkers. Read the other epistles that Paul would write. All right. He warned over and over again to watch out. Don't listen to these false teachers. There could have been one that knocked on our doors and I'm passing through. Can I stay at your place? I'm a preacher of God. And maybe she heard some of the things that he said and said, well, what do I do here? And John is addressing this. And John basically says this, good principle for all of us tonight, that if someone isn't preaching the gospel and they're going around preaching against that Jesus is Christ, the Son of God, don't receive him into your house. Don't help him out. Don't pat him on the back. Don't tell him it's OK, because it's not. Don't help him in any way. Amen. I did not say be rude. I did not say slam the door in her face and kick him. All right. I didn't say that. John didn't say that. But he did say this. Don't welcome him to your home and don't help him out. They're an antichrist. They're wrong. They're deceivers. And that's and that maybe is maybe the context of the letter he wrote. I want to look at it in this light. What is he saying to this lady? And to her children, what can what can we learn from this? What can we glean from this that in applying it to to this situation? I first want to say this, that with every family, it was whether your single parent home or whatever the case is. I want to say this first. This is important. There's no such thing as a normal family. If you said, well, mine's normal. No, it's not. There's an old Chinese proverb that says every family has its hush. We all have things we go through. We all have our own challenges. Every family in this room, we have challenges and we have things we have to deal with. Don't let the devil try to beat you over the head saying you're not a normal family. Oh, yes, you are. And we'll get to that in just a second. But with all families, here's just three basic principles. Number one, always win, parents, any conflict of the wills with your children. Always win. That may nod your head because that's important. All right. You can't lose. If it's a battle of the wills, you have to win. Amen. You have to win. I didn't think I'd have to stay here very long, but apparently everybody's staring at me really weird. You have to win. If you tell the kid to stand up and the kid looks at you and says, I don't want to stand up. That child has to stand up. He has to. She has to. You have to win. I don't know how Alex was. He was a young one. I was here at church and there was a conflict of wills. I don't know. I can't remember what it was. Something about picking up a piece of paper or something. He wouldn't say yes, ma'am. All right. That's all right. Just told to do something. And my wife said, Alex is a little boy, a little bitty thing, said, say yes, ma'am. He said, no. She said, say yes, ma'am. He said, no, he wouldn't do it. We handled it. Well, I was here. She handled it biblically as she should. And was addressing the situation. For five minutes, ten minutes. Repeatedly saying, Alex, say yes, ma'am. He didn't want to. He did not want to. She called me, got me out of class. I don't know what to do. Alex will not say yes, ma'am. You know, what do I do? I simply said this, you got to win. You got to win. Now, I have to say this for the world we live in. You do not physically abuse a child. You don't bruise no child. You don't strike no child in anger. If you've lost your cool, leave the room. Don't you ever hurt a child. There, I said that so no one can get mad at me, right? That's the fact. Amen. But there is proper discipline. Finally, finally, Alex said, yes ma'am. He's had his ups and downs and he's still a kid. Something changed that day. You can't lose. Parents, if you lose, you'll lose your child. If you lose that battle, you say, well, I just love him and I'll just address it later. You'll lose later. You've got to win that. Number two, be gentle. Be gentle. Because you're trying to get the heart of your child. And the heart is a very fragile thing. Be gentle. Never get angry. Never get mad. Be gentle. Number three, be consistent. You've got to be consistent. Now, I give those guidelines. That's for everybody. Now, let's address what we're preaching on tonight. Just under 30 percent of the children in the United States of America last year were raised in a single parent home. That means that there were. Twenty five million children in the United States of America. Raised in a single home. I'm just going to put it as a preacher did this study and I do not know how he came across it, but he published it with great confidence. So be it as it may, but here's what he said. that out of those children that were raised in a single parent home, and I'm going to use the phrase, stay clean. And by that phrase, I don't mean they were missionaries, right? By stay clean, I mean this, they did not go to jail, they didn't get arrested, and they're living a productive life in the United States of America. Out of those 25 million, 70% that were raised by the father in the home, stayed clean. Of those that were raised by the mother, single mother in the home, only 30 percent stayed clean. Let me add one more thing. Eighty four percent of the children of the 25 million in this home that are being raised in a single parent are being raised by a mother. Only 30 percent stayed clean. I'm not saying don't don't get ahead of me. You say, well, that's it. I can't do it. Oh, yes, you can. It's all through Scripture. The problem is the vast majority of people out there trying to do this don't want to do it the Scripture way. Amen. That's the problem. The problem is not your situation. The problem is neglecting the Word of God. Everybody got that? Because that's important before we go on to the message. Everybody see that? The problem's not your situation. You say, don't sit there and say, well, this is my situation. I can't. Yes, you can. Because the Word of God tells you you can. This is not an discouraging message. This is to say, this is what God said. You can do it. Amen. All right. So but the problem is, obviously, the world doesn't want it. So what are the points? Got these down to be as quick as I can. Number one. Single parents living in a single parent would get it from the book of Second John. Number one, accept your position. Without bitterness. Accept your position. Without bitterness. So where do you get that? Verse number one. The elder and to the elect lady. Not the word elect means. Chosen. This lady was chosen for what? She was chosen to be the mother of these children. She was chosen to raise these children for the Lord. She was chosen. So where's the husband? I have no idea. But I know that she was chosen by God to do this and to raise her children for the Lord. She was the elect lady. She was chosen. The word elect means chosen to fulfill God's purpose. Understand this, no matter who you speak to is in the situation, it first needs to be understood. This situation did not come by a surprise to God. You're here and God wants to use you in this place to do something wonderful. Say amen for that. Amen. Yes. God wants to do some great things. You have been chosen. It is easy to get bitter. In this situation. Why is the temptation to be bitter in this situation? Because there's really only one of four ways that you find yourself in this position. Number one. It's possibly the death of a mate. We've got folks in our church in that situation. The mate has died. And they find themselves. I had no idea what would happen this week when this message was given from the Lord. Somebody like, for instance, Jennifer Grisoulas finds herself in this situation tonight. What a tragedy. What a tragedy. And listen. It's easy to get bitter. It's easy to get upset. To grow angry at God. As we talked this morning, if you're God, how could you let this happen? The devil will say that to you. When you're dealing with people, this is real, OK? This is real. You see, no matter what I say, the rest of this message, if the man or the lady who is a single parent is bitter, It isn't going to help much what I have to say later. Because bitterness robs you of just thinking. Bitterness just makes you angry and you don't want to hear it. So there has to be a check here. Am I bitter? The death of a mate can happen. And what should happen? Now, I want to take my time. Is everybody OK with that? OK, good. All right. You know, you can't leave. All right. But 1 Corinthians chapter 7. I hope you don't. This is important. How many people have heard a message before on being a single parent? All right, this is this is it. All right. So we I'm not saying it's going to be the best. You'll hear a better one by tomorrow. All right. But but at least it's a starter. All right. Look over in First Corinthians in chapter number seven. We're going to address. We're going to cover the angles because it's important we understand what the Bible says. In First Corinthians, chapter number seven. In verse number eight. First Corinthians, chapter seven and verse number eight. Says, I say, therefore, to the unmarried and widows. It is good for them if they abide, even as I, but if they cannot contain, let them marry for it is better to marry than to burn. Now in this verse of scripture right here, what he's speaking of, he's talking to the unmarried. And if you read it in context, he's talking to is even directed as the Virgin, as the person who has yet to be married to that person or to the widow. Paul said, you are free to remarry. So a person who has not yet been married or a person whose spouse has died, the scripture says you are free to marry if God brings that person into your life. Amen. Look, this is easy stuff so far, right? That's what the Bible says. Amen? The Bible says you're free to marry if that situation's arrived. If your spouse has died or you're yet to have been married, you are free to marry if the Lord brings someone into your life. But I also want to point this out there at the beginning of this chapter. Now, concerning the things wherever you wrote them to me, here's the foundation for all the rest of the teaching. It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Please don't forget that in everything we're going to say tonight. I say this to single parents, whatever the case may be. If your spouse has died, that's the situation we're talking about. If your spouse has died, yes, if God brings someone into your life, absolutely wonderful. Free to remarry. That is scriptural and we're right on the Bible on that. Amen. But remember this, until you're married, keep your hands off. Amen. You say that's for the teenagers. It's not what the Bible says. It doesn't say it's good for the young men to keep off the young women. A man and a woman. That's what it says. Amen. So what that means is you say, well, I'm free to remarry. My spouse has died. You're speaking to someone trying to give them counsel. Yes. But don't neglect this, because they have the same lust and the same wicked sin that a young person has. And they're going to get in trouble. And God said, keep your hands off. Amen. You say, well, they're adults. They can handle it. There's not an adult in the world that can handle that. Because we're all flesh. And you keep your hands off. You don't have your hands all over each other. You say, but I'm 40 years old. I'm sorry, I don't see it's something separate in the Bible. You keep yourself pure until God brings you together. Amen, Preacher, that's the truth. Verse number 39, I think verse number 39, it says there in the same chapter, the wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth. But if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to marry, to be married to whom she will only in the Lord. So what's that verse saying? The verse is saying this that a husband and wife, if they have made the marriage commitment, that should not ever be broken and neither one should ever remarry anyone as long as they're alive. But when one spouse dies, then the other person is free to marry. But that person you marry, it needs to be in the Lord. In other words, both parties need to be saved. Both parties need to have God's blessing on it. Both parties need to be right with him. Having kept their hands off living a pure life that the authorities in their life say, yes, this is God's will. This is no doubt God's given peace. This is what you ought to do. Amen. You have here that now this happens. What I say all this to say this, if you're if you're a man and your wife dies, you don't bring a date to the funeral. If you're a woman and your husband passes away, you're free to remarry. But that spirit of growing in you needs healing from the Lord. Let God lead you. If it's God's will, He'll lead the person into your life. Without a doubt in my mind. If it's God's will, He will. And you'll know it. And everyone around you will know it. I beg you to watch the scriptures with me because I'm going to do my best to stay right here in scriptures. But understand this, folks, we we need to to let God do these things, let God bring these people into your life, accept God's grace. So the reality is you can become a single parent very quickly by the death of a spouse, and it can bring great bitterness if you're not careful. A second reason why it's easy to become bitter is because obviously, number two, you can become a single parent because of divorce. What a tragedy divorce is. Malachi chapter 2 and verse number 16 says that the Lord hates putting away. Lord, it's not his will. Now, I understand the world that we live in. Now, everyone, please stay with me. All right. Look, we deal with this. And say, what happens if we've been down this road? You serve God. Amen. We serve God. Look, we're not going back and digging up things and trying to hurt people. All right. Wherever you're at, go on and serve the Lord. Amen. Because every family has a touch. There's all we could all we could pick each other to death tonight. All right. But let's go on and serve the Lord. Amen. But let's lay down some facts, because I've never met one divorced couple that would say this. Oh, I hope every kid goes through what I did. God forbid. And we have to keep teaching the Bible, and especially this is the part that I try to stress every time we talk about a hard subject like this. Those who have been down this road ought to be the number one cheerleaders of the preacher tonight to say, yes, young people, listen to this. Don't go down this road. It's a reality. We need to understand God's viewpoint on it. The mind of God is this. He hates it. He doesn't want anyone to go through it. If you look over real quick, we're in first Corinthians, first Corinthians, chapter number seven, and in verse number 10, real quick, first Corinthians seven and verse number 10. And unto the married, I command, yet not I, but the Lord, let not the wife depart from her husband. But if she depart, let her remain unmarried. Or be reconciled to her husband and let not the husband put away his wife. Folks, the scriptures, I don't really need to say much, do I? The scriptures are pretty clear. God wants you to stay married, you see, with this irreconcilable things, we are we are separating from each other. We can have we can talk about that at a different point about what the Bible says about this, but the Bible is clear here. We're just trying to stick with our subject. The Bible is clear here that if there is a separation there, stay unmarried. So the Bible says, amen, we all read the same verse, amen. If she depart, let her remain unmarried. Turn over real quick to Matthew, chapter number 19. Matthew, chapter number 19. Matthew chapter 19 and verse number four. Matthew 19, four says this, and he answered and said to them, have you not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female and said, for this call shall a man leave father and mother and so cleave to his wife and they twain shall be one flesh. I'm going to pause here for just a second. You know, I divorce is such a tragedy because when two people marry together, they become one flesh. And I don't know about you, but when you tear apart one flesh, it's really disgusting. It's devastating. You know, Brother Roberts, the other day, he stepped out, but he was doing some sawing. Oh, he's Brother Jordan, right? Remember when you were sawing some stuff? He was right out there. And all of a sudden, I heard a, I got my finger off! You know, we were like, whoa! And we ran out there, right? It wasn't quite that bad, but it was a bad cut, right? That was not a pleasant day, was it, Brother Jordan? Why? Because your flesh, it's not supposed to be ripped apart. When you two have married, you're one flesh. You can't tear that apart without a whole lot of hurt. And a whole lot of devastation. And a whole lot of scar. And the Lord says, their twain shall be one flesh, verse six. Wherefore, there are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God had joined together, let not man put asunder. That's the mind of God. Verse seven, they say to him, why did Moses then command to give her writing a divorcement and to put her away? All right, the Lord, you said not they shouldn't be parted. Why did Moses say that there could be a divorcement? Look at verse eight. Moses, because the hardness of your heart suffered you to put away your wives. The Lord's answer is this. You were going to do what you were going to do. I don't think the Lord is defending Moses here. But the reason he did it was because people are going to do it and they have hard hearts. The reality is tonight that, again, every sin is forgivable and go on and serve the Lord. And yes, I am all for that. But listen, there are people who are going to say to messages like this, who will hear it across the world, who will say, well, I don't care. This is what I want to do. And you'll go on and do what you want to do. But understand that the Lord said it's because of the hardness of your heart. You're doing what you do. We'll keep reading, he says, Moses, because the hardness of your heart suffered you to put away your wives. But from the beginning was not so. So what's that saying, Lord said, that's not the way it should be. God created marriage. He knows what he's talking about. Verse nine, and I say and do so ever so put away his wife, except to be for fornication and shall marry another committed adultery. And who so married her, which is put away, doth commit adultery. So what's that verse mean? Just what it says. That when someone leaves and because the hardness of heart divorces and disobeys God in this and remarries and goes against what God has said not to do, they've committed adultery. That's what the Bible says. He said, well, preacher, it's OK whenever because of because of I've heard this in some of you, you know, well, the escape clause in marriage is adultery. Well, I've yet to find that in Scripture. And I'm going to share you my heart tonight, OK, and we'll just everyone can take the word of God and study it, and we can all have, you know, sit down and talk about this at a good Bible study institute, if you like. But it says there in verse number nine, it doesn't say save for adultery. Read the verse, this servant shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication. There's a big difference between fornication and adultery. Fornication is a sexual sin outside of marriage. Amen. That's what fornication is. Adultery is that same sin within the bounds of marriage. So what is he talking about? Simple illustration, Joseph walks and he visits his engaged, espoused to be wife, married, and she's with child. What was the first thing? Joseph loved her. What was he going to do privately? Put her away. Why? Because humanly, just with the eyes, she had committed fornication. They had not yet been married and understand that it took for the Jews, when they were espoused, they were to be married, it took a bill of divorcement to break that engagement up. And so when fornication was it was there, they could withdraw from being engaged in that marriage. And the Lord does give that escape for the Jew and the same thing would apply today. You know, if you're engaged with someone and they go commit fornication, you're not bound to marry that person. Now, we can argue and try to have debates over this, but I'm trying just to stick with what does the Bible say? That's what the and when we just look at the Bible for what it says, it makes life a little bit simpler and black and white. Now, I know an application, it becomes a difficult thing, but that is what the Bible says. And so in review. What are we going to get from this? That number one, a person obviously can become a single parent because of death and it can be easy to become bitter. But that person, if the spouse has died, they are free to remarry if it's in the Lord. Secondly, a person can become a single parent because of the tragedy of divorce. And if that is to take place, the Bible says clearly, I believe with all my heart that while there is a separation and that may happen, but that person should not. Number one, they should try to avoid being divorced. But number two, if an unbelieving depart or whatever the case may be, they separate, they should, according to scriptures, I've studied it. And this is my stand on that. And I'm not saying that's because that'll back the stand. You understand, the stand of the church is what the church does. I can say whatever I want. All right. But I am telling you from studying the word of God, how I see this is this. Is that that person should not remarry. And if they remarry, there's adultery there. Now, here's where it gets interesting. Well, is this a physical act of adultery or is this the spirit of adultery? You say, what's the spirit of adultery? Well, the Bible says if a man looks upon a woman in lust after he's committed adultery in her heart. That's what the Bible says. So do we take this as if Scott Mullis goes and commits adultery tonight? That's a matter of church discipline. That should be handled as a church. Amen. So how do you handle this? I'm not giving you an answer that this this is there's so many questions that will lead to this question, this question. It does. It almost ends. It leads to endless questions and things that have to be debated. And the point of this message is not to try to figure all this out tonight, but to say young people do it right. Stay away from this stuff. Wait on God's choice for you. Marry the one who God wants for you and build a strong marriage. Don't go down these roads. So when this stuff goes on, it does. So how do we handle it? I don't know. I have to travel that road together. But I will say this, I can't go around and pat people on the back and tell them I'm happy for them. If I walked in and Brother Phillips is drinking a beer and he's laughing, this is good beer. That'd be the only part you remember from this night. It's me saying that. All right. Yeah. But here he is, and here he is drinking it. I'm not going to say, well, Clarence is happy. I guess I'm just happy for you. It's wrong. And I can't say it's OK. So you say, what happens? What do you do? You love people. You try to help people. You encourage people. You have enough love in your heart to sit down and say, what does the Bible say here? And talk about it with people. But you don't hog it and say, well, it's all OK. We'll just ignore the Bible and whippedy-doo. We can't. We have to hold the Bible. If we quit holding it, folks, go home. It's over. We have to stand somewhere. So we've got to see what do we feel is God's Word. Let's stand upon the Word of God because you can't go wrong there. You love people. You understand that? Not out of the spirit of anger, not as some judgmental spirit. Well, yeah, I'll correct them. Shame on you. The same thing that if I saw, you know, using silly illustration is about to fill thing going to do this. Right. But if I see that, I'm not going to say, well, that's it. I'm done with him. I'm going to go with tears in my face and say, oh, brother, can we look at this? This is not right. Let's talk about this. But I can't pat him on the back and say, well, he's happy. We'll send and make everybody happy. Amen. I know it's hard, but we have to see these things. So they're going to go and do it for the hardness of their heart. So how do we handle it? I don't know. But I know this. When I went and saw my grandfather and said, Papa, I'm going to become a pastor. Is there any good advice you can give me? He said, number one, son, take a day off. I don't know why, that was his first thing he said, right? He said, burn out. He said, and you'll quit. He said, number two, he made me get out a pen. He said, write it down. He said, always help people do right, but never help people do wrong. And I didn't quite get the gravity of what he said, but I wrote it down like he said. And it just take me a few months being a pastor to realize what great wisdom that was. You do not say when people do wrong, get mad at them and slam the door, but you can't help them. You understand? I'm not going to go buy a case of beer for Brother Phillips. I'll be done with you. I'm not going to buy a case of beer for Brother Carr. You understand? I'm not going to help him do wrong. But I will always help him do right. I'm not going to go buy the case of alcohol for him, but I'll be the first one at his door to try to help him break the chain of addiction to some bottle. And I'll be the first one on my knees to ask God to help him get victory over it. You see, a person who goes through a divorce can become bitter. That's why we've got to be honest in this. What does the Bible say? If you're in these shoes, say, what do I do? I met a person one time. I don't have all the answers, but I will say this impressed me. I met a person one time that had been through this on second marriage, read this passage of scripture and just simply said this. I'm so sorry that I broke God's heart. But I'm going to go on and serve the Lord. That was a great spirit. So I'm in those shoes. Just see it tonight, say, God, I see that. Help me to do right now. Amen. The Bible doesn't say go back and do this or that. The Bible doesn't say you're married to everybody back in the past. The Bible doesn't say all these other things. The Bible just says there it is. Go on. Serve the Lord. Number three, the third reason why someone can become bitter or become a single parent is because of desertion. They've been deserted. Look back in First Corinthians, chapter number seven, we'll go back there. First Corinthians, chapter number seven, and in verse number 10. First Corinthians, seven and verse number 10. It says, and into the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord. First Corinthians, seven, 10. Let not the wife depart from her husband. But if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband. Let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord. If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath a husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. So what's being said so far? Stay married. You find yourself where one is a believer and one is not. So what do I do? Stay married and be the greatest husband or the greatest wife that you possibly can strive hard to be that. Verse 13, And the woman which hath a husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him, for the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife. So what's that verse saying? One person said this one time. Does that mean my lost husband is automatically saved? That's not what that says. What that's saying is this, that your marriage is still a marriage in the eyes of God. You say, You know, I'm a believer and they're not, so our marriage is disannulled. The verse is saying quite the opposite of that. Your marriage is sanctified. And the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband. Else were your children unclean. There's the definition. You understand? Your children were not born illegitimately. Your children were born under the sanctity of the home and the marriage. Whether one's a believer and one's not, it doesn't matter. God still recognizes the marriage. It says there, verse 14, else were your children unclean, but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. You say, what's that verse say? If they leave, there may come a point. You have to let them leave. So what's it mean, not under bondage, it means this, you don't have to grab hold of their ankles and be drugged through filth and dirt the rest of your life. If they want to leave. And again, what I do not believe that it's talking about you file for divorce, that's not what it's saying. What simple passages that say, excuse me, my wife, if I if my wife's a believer and I'm not a believer, God is saying this, that, hey, listen, as long as as both of you are content to dwell with each other, stay with each other. And as a wife, as a believer, you got to Stacy ought to strive to be holy, to try to show by her conversation, Peter talks about, her holy life, what God can do and that God convict the heart of the husband. And now listen, if you know a lady in this situation or vice versa, understand this, that the spouse, an unbelieving spouse, will have great conviction in their life from this. And a lot of times that will come across as anger or resentment towards your faith. But what it is to be from the Bible, because the Bible says the husband or the wife that's not the believer, they're going to notice the conversation of the life. They're going to see what God is doing in their life. And what's going on is not hatred towards the faith. It's not bitterness towards the spouse. It is this. The Holy Spirit's burning in their heart. And as a believing spouse with an unbeliever, that's not your cue to run. That's your cue to be there for them as much as you can right now, because God's dealing with that lost spouse. And it will come across as anger and it will come across as hatred. It'll come across as something like, well, I just can't stand your faith or you ever since you become a Christian, you're this, this and this. And it will come across that way. But understand, based upon the word of God, what's going on is that unbelieving spouse is being convicted by a Holy Spirit. I cannot promise a happy ending to that story. But I can promise that that person will make a choice. Back to me and my wife in the situation, if I'm an unbeliever and I say, no, that's it, I'm done. And I walk out the door. What this person is saying is she doesn't have to follow me around everywhere I go. She can allow that separation, but in the other scriptures that we read, she should never remarry. So what happens if they're 19 when this happens? It's a tragedy. But that's what the Bible says. So what happens if she goes ahead and gets remarried? What do you do? Hopefully she would see that it broke God's heart, but we as a church help her go on and serve the Lord and raise children for the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen. See, these are all really touchy situations. I go back to this. Children do it right. Stay away from this. But we are dealing with this. And listen, parents, if we don't take a biblical stand, what do we expect our children to do? If we just had everything on the back, what do we expect? And for that situation, if I as an unbeliever were to leave, believe me, great bitterness can come in her life. God, you said that me trying to live right would get a hold of him. It did. But every person has a free choice. There could be a great ending. I as an unbelieving husband might finally realize what is going on, fall on my knees and ask Christ to save me. And boy, what a wonderful thing that is. Amen. Some of you in this auditorium, you got saved before your spouse or vice versa. And what a day when both of you got saved. Amen. Great day. But everybody has a choice. It can be by desertion or number four, by disaster. How do they become a single single parent? By disaster. So what do you mean by disaster? Could have been a moral failure in their life. Losing their purity. It could be just making applications. A husband or a wife could break the law and be incarcerated for 30 years. I know of a Christian couple right now in the state of Texas whose her husband was biblically disciplining their child and he got arrested and he's 25 years in prison. And I think he's on like his 10th or 12th year right now. She's been forced to be a single mom. Now, the husband's alive, but he can't have any part of it or very little. A moral failure, something like an imprisonment. I think in some, in many ways, a military life can leave this situation for a period of time. You can become bitter. Something such as a terrible sin like rape or something like that can leave someone in this situation. Believe me, it's easy to get bitter. It would be easy to become angry at God. Bitterness is like a poison. Once it runs into your system, it becomes, as Peter said to Simon the sorcerer, he said, I perceive that you are in the gall of bitterness, the poison of bitterness. You're in the bond of iniquity, he said. Once you're bitter, you become a slave to it. It poisons your entire spiritual being. If you're bitter tonight, and what it does, it poisons your being and holds you in bondage. It's hard to think right. To be just in your thinking. To make choices. Listen, a single parent is made to make even more choices. And you can't afford to be bitter. If you find yourself or you know someone in this situation, it would be a wise thing to do to go to some Christian person And say, can I ask you a question? Do you see bitterness in my life? And say, please tell me. Because bitterness is one of those things that we never see in ourselves until it's too late. We have to guard against bitterness. I'm not going to begin to finish this message tonight. This rehearse point, number one. Number one is this, accept your position. Did you know, says to the elect lady chosen to fulfill God's purpose. If you know a lady or a man in this situation, now they look at me. Here my last minute, all right. Then accept it. You're not second class. Everyone say amen. You're not. You're not a different kind of family. You're not. God has you where you are. And he has a purpose. What I'm about to show you, Lord willing, next week. Not only are you in a unique position, but I believe God has even a greater role in your life. that God is going to fill some positions in your life that are precious and dear. I guess we all could just say this. When we go through hard times and hard situations, we've all, I hope, come to learn this, that His grace is sufficient. And when we need more grace, the Bible says, He giveth more grace. While the need may be there for more grace, I'm glad to tell you that we serve a God who loves giving more grace. And he will help you through the situation and be there in the situation. The bottom line is this. Don't get bitter. Don't be angry. Accept the position where God has you. Embrace it. That's how I want to raise my children from the Lord. Can it be done? This lady did it. Johnson, I have no greater joy than to hear your children walk in truth. Eunice and Lois did it. I know there was a husband in the picture, but he was not saved. They were doing it on their own. I think Timothy turned out just right. And if you get the teaching that was a couple of weeks ago, Brother Williams was here. It's not some special blocks that you have to have, necessarily. Don't take me wrong. You don't have to have a man and a wife in a perfect situation to have good kids. You need God's grace. You need God's mercy. And there's not one of us that don't need that immensely. We'll finish next week. Father, Lord, I pray you take just these opening thoughts in this message. Father, I hope I did what you wanted and I didn't get very far. I think it's important what we covered tonight. Just laying the groundwork. God, I pray now, or the message we just got to sit and think about. Look at your word. Father, there may be some here tonight in this situation. May they search their heart. Ask God if they're bitter, find someone, accountability. But tonight, not make an excuse, but embrace as an elect chosen for this purpose. To rear their children for you and have a godly home. Father, maybe there's some wrong spirit in one of our lives tonight. Maybe some bitterness. Maybe fathers, we just looked, maybe realizing some decisions we've made in the past, we broke your heart. There's been things in my life I've looked back and I realized later how you felt about it. Lord, I've had to come to you and say, I didn't know, but I see it. I'm sorry. I want to go on and serve you. Maybe some tonight just want to come with that heart tonight. Get up and go on and serve you. And we as a church determined tonight to help and to love. that never condones sin.