If you have your Bibles, would you join me please in Romans chapter 15. This hour that we'll spend together, and I don't mean the sermon, don't panic. I mean the 11 o'clock hour, is different, it's distinct than the rest of the week. We're coming together right now, we are opening the Bible, and it is intensely relevant. We're gonna read some verses that in direct context are written to a group of believers. It is to a church. I believe with all of my heart that the principles the Apostle Paul communicates are principles of Christ-likeness. This will revolutionize your relationships with other human beings. This will directly impact your marriage. This will certainly impact your ministry. This affects your life in the workplace. Here in Romans chapter 15, the Apostle Paul is going to offer up a direct assault against selfishness, which is natural for every one of us. We're living in an age of selfishness. So much so that one observed this. Cameras now are only used to take photos of ourselves, not of anything around us. How many of you liked to see a selfie of your own face? Anyone? I hate them. I don't need to see this from here. I need to see this from far, far away. We think in our minds that the only thing that matters is ourself. It's not a new thing. Even the ancient myth, the one of Narcissus, was told that he fell so in love with his own image. that he could not pull away from his reflection in that water, couldn't even find the desire to pull away from his own reflection. He was so entranced and in love that he actually died there in complete isolation, utterly alone, a pointless existence, which is always the destination of selfishness. The reality is, it's not just for our era, it's for all eras. It's not just for your generation, it's for all generations. Unfortunately, millennials have been stereotyped as a self-centered, selfish, lazy, and apathetic generation. But the reality is, even baby boomers in the 1970s were designated the quote-unquote me generation. It's not just for your generation or my generation. It's not just for this time in history or that time in history. Selfishness is part of our default setting. And the observation that every believer, every follower of Christ must make this morning, and you must come to grips with, is selfishness is the polar opposite of Jesus Christ. Self-centeredness and self-promotion is the opposite of godliness. Charles Spurgeon. The preacher from the 1800s said, selfishness is as foreign to Christianity as darkness is to light. It has no place in your journey. Another observed this, selfishness is a many-headed monster. It's so many-headed, it's hard for us at times to even define whether our motivation is selfish or not. I love what one said, he observed this, you might be a couch potato that's always expecting others to serve you your pizza. And that's selfish. He said, or you might be endlessly serving couch potatoes pizza, deeply desiring that they make much of your service. It's such a many-headed monster that whether we're sitting or serving, the core of all of it can ultimately be selfishness. Every follower of Jesus Christ desperately needs these principles. This is ark altering for the gospel message in this local community. This is life changing for you in all of your relationships. In fact, in 1 Corinthians 13, when the Apostle Paul was communicating the basic tenet, the definition of what real Christian love looks like, he says this specifically in verse five of 1 Corinthians 13. That kind of love, Christ-like love, does not behave itself unseemly, note this phrase, and seeketh not her own. True Christ-like love is never searching out its own means. Paul was writing to the church at Philippi. He's attempting to refocus the church. To refocus the church, he says this in Philippians 2.4, look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. True love does not seek its own. To refocus a body of believers, Paul said, every single one of you, stop looking out for your own end, your own agenda, your own preferences, your own things, and every one of you get resolute about looking out for careful consideration of the things of others. He gets downright tough with them. In verse seven, or verse three of Philippians 2, he says, let nothing, not one single thing be done through strife or vainglory. But in lowliness of mind, let each of you esteem others better than themselves. Everybody in here. and this is so counterintuitive to our culture, must see everybody else in here as superior to them. How many of you, if you had the option, would rather fly first class or coach? Anybody a coach or just by choice? What if to fly coach, we were gonna go ahead and put you by the lavatory, right by the door? Not one person in here would choose, if given the option, to fly coach by the lavatory. Everybody in here would prefer first class. Unfortunately, that filters and matriculates its way through every area of our lives. Each of us deems ourselves as probably the 20% of the entire flight that actually matters. And it begins to taint and tint every relationship, and every conversation, and every interaction. And thus it infiltrates our marriage, and it affects our home, and it pervades our workplace, and it dominates the church. And Paul is stepping up, and he is saying quite plainly, humility, lowliness of mind is the counter to modern culture. It is how we address selfishness. Let not one thing be done through strife, no jockeying for position. Let not one thing be done through vain glory, trying to make yourself seem more important. Which brings us to Romans 15. A stunning segment of verses. Three verses really impart the third, where the Apostle Paul's gonna convey something that upon a cursory reading just seems so light and frivolous as to have no impact on us, but it's a direct assault on who we are. It's a scathing rebuke to how we see life. It's equipping for every single relationship represented in the room. He writes this in verse one. We then that are strong, ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let every one of us please his neighbor for his good to edification. For even Christ pleased not himself." Every once in a while I try to enter into the personality of the Apostle Paul. He's wrestling in his mind with the believers in Rome. He's given them a whole lot of doctrine in the first portion of this letter. And in the second portion of this letter, he's really practical with them. And he's wrestling with them, trying to help them understand how to navigate life in a city like Rome as a follower of Christ. He has the audacity to say to them, don't anybody in that body live to please themselves, but rather every single one of you seek to please everybody else. And then to conclude his argument, you can almost sense a huff in his voice. He says, because even Jesus didn't please himself. He's helping us learn how to actually serve each other. And the first principle we can see is this, we're supposed to support each other. What do we do when someone aggravates us? What do we do when someone around us, maybe even spiritually, has an error, or in fact, has some spiritual immaturity? How do I interact with people that aren't quite where I'm at? that don't quite have life figured out like I do. He says plainly in the first verse, we then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak and not to please ourselves. What should we do? We should bear with people that aren't where we are. We should allow for imperfections. We should recognize that not everybody is a finished product, and when we recognize that, we bear with them patiently. One wrote this, if you're prone to judgmentalism, this verse is a big pill to swallow. If you're not the kind of person who has to be, or is allowed to be wrong, you're the kind of person who must always be right, and must always have their way. You won't like this principle at all, because the strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and the weak in here are believers. This is in the context of a church. And when Paul says you ought to do this, he means this is not a suggestion, this is a mandate. You should bear the weaker believers along. Oh, this is so equipping for a church. What happens when not everybody is at the same place on the journey? We patiently bear with one another. That's what we ought to do. When our kids are little, we have these moments that are so freeing. We have these moments in their lives that are so monumental. In fact, I can remember when the kids could hold their own sippy cups. Anybody remember that? If you've ever driven a car with one hand, and trust me, this was more my wife than I, and had to hold a sippy cup in the other, in the back seat, you know how freeing it is when those two little mitts can handle a sippy cup, and they can hold it themselves, and you can once again drive at 10 and two. There's another monumental moment. It's when the child can actually clip themselves into the car seats. Because there's a window of time where you're loading the kids into the car seat, and be honest, everybody that's coming behind is getting a scene they shouldn't get. You're crawling over chairs and over boosters and helping buckle and clip kids in, but there comes a moment where you just open the door, they hop in, get in and clip themselves in, and you think, this is freedom, man. The moments when they take their first steps and you're waiting with your phone, trying to video it, they're hobbling around and you celebrate them taking their first steps. But for some reason, we vacate that in the rest of life. We just expect everybody should figure me out. Everybody should know how I like things. Everybody should adapt to my personality. Everybody should be mature. Everybody should know all the Bible. Everybody should grasp all the principles. And instead of applauding little steps, we live ticked off and resentful because not everybody's where we're at and not everybody's serving our needs and preferences. And Paul says, stop. Even as a Christian, your responsibility is to bear with those that aren't where you are. One pastor likens it to coming to a chasm where there's a rope bridge. I'm not a huge fan as I age of heights. Some people might come to a rope bridge and it'll be over that deep chasm and they'd be able to run right across the bridge. I'd say the majority of them are kind of 18 years old and younger. The kind that get on the rope bridge and start to bounce it and you lose your spirituality and maturity and Christianity, letting them know you don't want them to do that. Whereas someone else might come up to this chasm and they know they have to cross the bridge, but instead of running across or bounding confidently across, they're holding tightly to the rope and they're inching their way across. How foolish would it be? For someone who was brave enough to cross the chasm fearlessly, to go back and lay hands on the individual who was scared to death and force them to cross at the same speed. There's danger you might lose them in the crossing. And Paul is addressing the church and he is saying plainly, recognize. People are onboarding at all different destinations on their spiritual journey. And if you're stronger, bear with patiently those that aren't where you are. Within your marriage situation, recognize this as a reality. Within the work situation, support each other. When he says bear, he does not mean with an attitude of begrudging. but literally in love and tenderness. Don't get angry with them. Don't cut them off from your love and concern. Rather, patiently instruct them. Edify them to their own good. They don't need criticism. They need instruction. They don't need neglect. They, in fact, need attention. Paul said as much when he wrote to the church at Galatia, bear ye one another's burdens. So fulfill the law of Christ. bear each other along on the journey, and in so doing, you impersonate the Savior, support each other. The second principle, relationally speaking, is don't live to please yourself. That's so hard to do. That's what he says plainly in the second part of verse two, not to please yourself. Don't do it. Don't live to please yourself. There is nothing more counterintuitive than this. We literally enter the world screaming for attention. We literally enter the world screaming to have our hunger satiated. We live our lives all about pleasing ourselves. And Paul says, not for the Christian. Serve each other. Support each other. Don't please yourself. In verse 3 he says plainly, Christ pleased not himself. That's not how Jesus lived. How is it that Jesus lived not pleasing himself? Jesus himself said, the Son of Man came not to be ministered unto, but rather to minister and to give his life a ransom for many. I'm finding more and more the classic passage in all of Scripture for Christ's likeness is Philippians 2. We've already been in there a little in verses 2 and 3. Here he comes back in verse 6, he's speaking of Jesus and here's what Paul writes, Jesus, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God, but made himself of no reputation. and took upon him the form of a servant and was made in the likeness of men. In essence, what Paul is declaring unto us is Jesus is God in the flesh. And in a very real way, Jesus laid aside his deity and all the privileges of heaven in order that he might take on human form. The principle is this, in effect, Jesus opened his hands and allowed his royal privileges to slip from his grasp. Jesus demonstrated humility by letting go, not by holding on. By giving, not by grasping. Maybe this principle alone could be taken into every marital counseling setting and we could hear over and again, get over yourself. It's not about you. If you want to be like Jesus, let it go. Stop holding on so tightly. For Jesus demonstrated his humility, which enabled him to not please himself, but rather others by letting go, not by holding on to. So many Christians are defeated by holding on to everything. Because it's about them. I internalize better than any human on earth. I can remember things that were done to me in third grade. And I'm not talking like major life things, I'm talking like missing out on Smarties. I'm talking like having to be third in line. I can internalize. One of the reasons I like to internalize is listen, resentment feels pretty good. I can villainize someone in my mind and heart that may not be a villain at all, but it feels good to me to argue with them even in an inner monologue alone. I can remember what you said and how you made me feel. And if you give me reason to distrust you, good luck ever getting back into the circle of trust, because I remember that feeling. And it's like a little banquet. And I'm like a little fat guy that sits down and feeds on that emotion over and over again because that resentment feels so good. I like to think about it and meditate on it and villainize you. And I actually reenter into the emotion and I feel it all over again. And it's damning. It's self-pleasing, it's self-centered, it's self-focused. Jesus demonstrated by letting go. He could have tightly grasped everything, but it would have cost us everything. He let go. Here's a simple principle. Support each other. Allow for imperfections. Bear with tenderness and love. Give some instructive. Don't cut people off. Give some attention, not some neglect. And don't please yourself. The third and last principle is simply this. Serve each other. He said this in verse two. Let every one of us please his neighbor for his good to edification. It is so easy. to tear other people down. It's easier to do demolition than it is to do construction. In fact, I assure you this. If I had to build phase two, we'd be in trouble. But if I had to knock down phase one, I have a chance. And I am a construction doofus. I can't even do Ikea furniture. But I'm pretty sure I could knock this building down. I mean, I'm pretty sure I could rent some equipment and drive right through that wall. It's so much easier to destroy than it is to build. Building takes specific care, and it takes some concern, and it takes some trades, and it takes some drawings, and it takes some time. Destruction takes a hammer, man. It takes a little bit of energy. And Paul is saying, in the context of the church, to believers who are gonna get in a car together and drive home, to people who have to go in and maybe be the lone Christian in the workplace, support each other. Bear the infirmities of those who aren't where you are. Don't live to please yourself. That's not how Jesus did and you should impersonate the Savior. And in fact, you should live your life to serve each other and the purpose is to live to build each other up. And that even affects the words that we use. Let your speech be always seasoned with grace so that it ministers good and grace to those that hear. It builds people up. Choose your words to serve each other. Live out your actions to serve each other. It's our aim to build each other up with humble love and sympathy. And again, unfortunately, those words, it's not about you. Back again in Philippians 2, Paul said this phrase, let each esteem other better than themselves. An utterly unnatural realization. Quite literally, esteem is this, everybody in here is more important than you are. That feels like a prison. It feels like if we begin to view everybody as more important than us, we're gonna end up on this miserable little isolated island, but what we grasp is within the body of Christ, if everybody lives like that, we actually take our encouragers and defenders from being just us, and we add 999 other people to it. 999 other people who edify us, who encourage us, who defend us, who work to build us up, and this esteeming each other as more important is not an act. It's not mere patronizing behavior. You actually come to the conclusion that other people are more important than you. Just let that sink in for a second. I was traveling this week, speaking. And when I do that, whenever I do that, no matter where I go, I am a guest speaker. There's maybe no better spot in all the world than to be a guest speaker because people dote on you incessantly. My wife traveled with me this week. God bless her. She had to see me in that arena. You show up, people drive you, people pay for everything, they gift you things, they introduce you and while you're listening to the introduction, you're like, I'd like to meet this guy. Who is this guy? It's you, you're that guy. You get up there and you start speaking and the church is like, what? We didn't even know the Bible existed until you got here. You, are you kidding me? You said Jesus, good for you. You're incredible. Then they walk you to the lobby and as the church leaves, they hug you and they tell you things like, I've never heard anything like that. She stands back and she thinks to herself, oh no. Don't tell him this stuff. See, but then you come home and it's like, oh yeah, I'm this guy. See, a prophet is not without honor except in his own country. Come home and you're like, oh yeah, they get like 156 of these engagements a year. You could easily dive into in that moment in that church setting with other Christians and you could think to yourself, yeah, I'd love to see you have this service without me. See what I just did. I'd love you to try to do what you did tonight minus me. And you know what, they're doing it today. We can all enter into this moment. We have this capacity, humanly speaking, to think that we matter more than other people matter. We step away from recognizing that what God has assembled in this place, he's the divine orchestra leader, and this is his little symphony, and every instrument plays their part, and your instrument is no more important than anybody else's. All of us are playing our part. It's not a patronizing thing. It's a recognition that everybody here is more important. Everybody here is superior to me and what's most damning to your marriage and what's most damning to a church ministry is when everybody sees themselves as more important than everybody else. Discord and division are on the way because it's all about you. Your thing has to be elevated and it must be the thing. You need the attention and the pat on the back and if only people did it like you and said it like you said it and it's a trap that all of us can fall into and it's so healthy for all of us to humble ourselves and intentionally serve each other by recognizing you are superior to me. And the beautiful truth is it all balances out because you see me as superior to you, which means you give up your seat and you work a little harder and you park a little further, you stay a little later, you show up a little earlier because it's not about you. We serve each other. This is arc-altering. This is life-changing. This is so counter-cultural that too few of us are doing it. The natural thing to do is look out for number one, but Paul said plainly in verse four, look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Nobody out to win points. Nobody out to win popularity. Nobody out to get some platform of attention or some pat on the back. Everybody playing their part. Support each other. Okay, great. Not everybody's where you are yet. Bear with them. Recognize that once you thought the chasm was deep and you didn't trust the bridge, it's gonna take them a little time to get across. Stop pointing fingers and criticizing and edify them. Help them to cross the scary bridge. Applaud when they can buckle themselves in and hold their own spiritual sippy cup. Clap just a little and remember to celebrate the little movements forward and acknowledge the honest endeavor while allowing for some imperfection. Stop living to please yourself. Recognize quite literally according to scripture, we're to see everybody as superior to us. Serve each other. This is what Christ intended. I'll close by reading what one pastor said. He said, Paul makes us face the question. Why do I do what I'm doing in the church? In the home? In the workplace? Am I driven by self-centered motives? Even when I'm supposedly helping others? Am I self-serving even while serving others, wanting and hoping to be noticed so that I receive the appreciation and recognition that I think I deserve? Whether I express it outwardly or not. Do I nurse resentment when my hard work is ignored? When my feelings are hurt? When my ideas aren't followed because that little bit of resentment taints everything? Whose interests am I really pursuing? Ultimately, Paul's mandating. He's telling us this is what we ought to do. We ought to be like Jesus. We ought to serve each other. And in the context of this study from Hebrews chapter 10, we're to give careful consideration to accomplish that. We're to get creative about serving each other, but it begins by patiently putting up with each other. Because true love, God's love, Christ's love, doesn't seek its own. Rather, it recognizes and acknowledges that everyone is superior to them. It doesn't mean we go around with a woe is me mentality. We just think of ourselves less and think of others constantly and actively serve each other, work to build each other up. How can I help you get to the finish line? Today my responsibility was to go to Romans chapter 15, read verse one, two, and a part of verse three, and say let me equip you with these principles to make it this week. Let me build you up this week, but you're not off the hook, because you've got that responsibility for every person in this room incessantly. Would you please bow your heads with me for just a moment? Thanks for listening this week to the Graceway Baptist Church podcast. For more information about our church and our ministries, head on over to our website at gracewaycharlotte.org. We are a church located in South Charlotte. We are growing and our ministries are doing big things for Christ. If you're looking for a way to get plugged into what we're doing, email us at info at gracewaycharlotte.org. Also, stay in the loop with everything happening by following us on Facebook and Instagram. Our handle is GracewayCharlotte. Thanks again for listening to the Graceway Charlotte Podcast. We'll see you next week.