Before I begin this morning I'd like to put in a plug for this evening's service. We're going to be looking at the period of time in church history between the exile and the beginning of the New Testament. We're looking at the period of the Maccabees particularly this evening. And I think a lot of us know a great deal about the history of the people of God. Up until the time of the exile when they've been away in Babylon and have returned maybe to rebuild the temple and get things started back up in Jerusalem to rebuild their city up to the time of Nehemiah and that kind of thing. And then there's this gap that we have until Christ comes. And when Christ comes, there's a whole different dynamic in the city. And I'd like to help encourage you to come and learn sort of what's been going on, what prepares the way for that period of time when Christ comes as the Messiah and how ready the people are to hear that. So I encourage you. I learned a great deal in my study this week and it's kind of something I want to share with you. So I hope you can come. Well, let's turn to Matthew chapter 19 today, if you would, Matthew chapter 19. We're looking at only three verses in our focus today, but I'm going to read in the scripture a little bit more than that, just because the context is very important for those three verses to understand them appropriately. Let me begin reading at verse three. Matthew chapter 19, beginning at verse three, and I'll read down to verse 12. Pharisees came up to him and tested him as Jesus by asking is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause. He answered Have you not read that he created them from the beginning made them male and female and said therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let not man separate. They said to him why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away. And he said to them because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives. But from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another. commits adultery. The disciples said to him if such is the case of a man with his wife it's better not to marry. But he said to them not everyone can receive this saying but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it. I'd like to give a couple of illustrations from life that I think maybe parallel something that we're going to look at here in just a moment. Let me begin with the situation where you have a child who's happily playing with his favorite ball. Maybe you got this ball for a birthday present. He's been looking forward to playing with this ball for a long time and he's been playing with it all morning. But then his parents tell him he needs to share the ball with his sister and he needs to throw and play catch with her. And so he takes the ball he throws it on the ground and runs away. He's done. He would rather not play at all than play the way he's being told he must play. Have you seen a child anxious to play a sport? Maybe it's baseball and in line and that child has suddenly decided that he doesn't want to play at all because he's not being allowed to play with a particular person who he wanted on his team. He decides it's better not to play the game at all than to play with the one he's being encouraged to play with. Have you ever seen someone who's not even, well, who is not even going to try something rather than to try it and fail? They're fearful that there's going to be a failure there. Have you ever seen someone, this is a completely different situation, maybe you've seen someone longing to look at a plate full of yummy nuts on the table, but they pass right by those nuts because they realize they're still in the shell and it would require having to crack the nuts to actually get them out. Well those are silly illustrations in one way but they parallel in some ways this the way people in this country are more and more looking at marriage and how they're refusing to become married for those various reasons. One reason is that they're unwilling to enter into a relationship or a situation like that where things are unpredictable and they may have to give up some of their own interests for the sake of someone else. They may have to play the game in a certain set of rules. If he can't have everything his way, he won't play at all. They don't wish to place themselves in a position where they might have to give up exclusive control of time and of resources and so on. A second reason may be that they're astute enough to know that as they look at the statistics that are out there with regard to divorce, there are so many divorces, so many people that they've seen maybe in actuality have failed in their marriages. Statistics say that over half of them will fail. So they in fear refuse to join at all. They've seen so many fail. They're fearful that they too will do that. So avoid it. And then the final illustration points to the reality that some avoid marriage altogether purely because they know that though there's good things in marriage there's good experiences to be had. There's many blessings. It's going to require just too much work. There's too many hard things about marriage and therefore they just avoid it. In last week's message, we were talking about how Jesus had to make a correction in the prevailing view that people had with regard to marriage and divorce. Particularly among the Jewish people and that that viewpoint had actually sort of spilled over into the disciples. The Pharisees brought the question but really the disciples were in in that thinking as well. The idea was that you could enter into marriage with great confidence because you know that if things don't go well if things don't go as anticipated if for some reason there's a problem in the marriage then you have this open door that you can get out you can escape from. that you provided God himself provided permission to all. If there's a problem in the marriage simply to write a certificate of divorce and you're out. But when Jesus corrected that twisted view of marriage and indicated that it was really to be viewed as a permanent bond except in cases of adultery. The disciples then articulate a fear which seems to be so trendy that it almost seems like it came from a person from 2012. Their statement seems to be so familiar to us because we hear it all the time. And here's the question that they put. If people don't have the liberty then to get out of marriage, maybe an unpleasant marriage, a hard marriage, someone that's displeasing in some way or another, then maybe it's better just not to marry at all. Maybe we should avoid that. Surely, if there are no ways out of marriage, then marriage can cause more trouble for a person than to not be married at all. I want to say to you that more and more people in our day are using exactly that logic as they wrestle with the question of marriage. Now, you might expect Jesus to counter to counter that kind of statement with something like this. Not at all. Not at all. Marriage is God's good design for men and for women. It's not hard. It is hard, but not that hard. You should all you have to do is rely upon God. Remain faithful. to one another express the love that God has shared with you and it'll go well. But he doesn't say that. Interestingly enough Jesus doesn't respond that way when his disciples heard the teaching that he had been giving on marriage and divorce and they responded if such is the case for a man and woman that it's better not to marry. Jesus replies not everyone can receive the same. But only to those to whom it is given an interesting response. And as we wrestle with that statement that Jesus makes we have to ask the question what is he referring to when he makes that question when he makes that statement to what is Jesus referring when he says not everyone can receive this saying what saying is he talking about. Is he speaking about his sayings on marriage and divorce that he's been teaching about the difficulty and but necessity to remain in that bond of marriage. Or is he talking about the disciples saying that it's better not to marry. Yes. Yes. On the one hand Jesus is saying that if a person cannot enter into marriage with a resolve to be faithful to the end for richer for poor in sickness and in health until death do us part then it's better not to marry. And this is a saying not everyone can receive. On the other hand Jesus is saying that those who would choose singleness Must know that it's not only for those not it's not it is only for those whom God has especially gifted to be single for whom it will even be possible to do that. So both are hard states to be in both of those are roads difficult roads to to walk on in this life and only those to whom it has been given can exist in the married or the single state. Now I'm going to begin with this idea of marriage being only for the stout hearted for those who are really committed and can do this in a marriage. We have two parties. We have a husband and I have a wife and the word husband is an interesting word. It's made up of two English Anglo-Saxon words the first being whose. It's also a Dutch word. I think it's the idea of house. So whose whose band and the word band refers to a bond. So it's a house bond. The husband is thought to be the one in fact it was actually anciently spelled this way house bond. If there's one thing men and women don't like though. They don't like being restrained. They don't like being limited. They don't like being bound. And yet the husband and the wife voluntarily enter into the bonds of marriage. That's what we call them bonds. They give up to the other all that they are all that they have in their resources their time and their energies everything they give their financial resources in order to farm form one new family unit and enter into the bonds of marriage there. And from the very beginning God declared that to do that was a good thing. He says in Genesis 2 18, in fact, it was he initially who said it is not good for a man to be alone. And yes, he's talking about inhumanity, it's not good for a man to be only a man in this society and not have companionship, but he's also talking about marriage, it's not good in that situation for the man always to be alone. God pronounced blessing upon those who entered into the bonds of marriage, who take on that way he yoke, if you will, of bondage and one man and one woman becoming one flesh forever. He said in his word in Proverbs 18 22. He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. So God pours out his blessing on this bond of marriage. And yet at the same time it is in God's word also in the same book that I just quoted in Proverbs. This chapter is 20 21 three chapters later verse 19. It says it is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman. So shortly after that, a quarrelsome wife is like a continual dripping on a rainy day. Wait a minute. It's the same word that gives stories of wives, this word of God tells us about wives like Abigail, who have time and again had to endure the foolishness of stupid husbands. Makes her life miserable because he's married to this silly man and she has to clean up all the messes that he's made over and over again and so on. So living with a husband living with a wife according to the scripture itself is a difficult thing. It can be hard in a fallen world. Not everyone can easily commit to the permanent bonds of marriage. Matthew Henry speaking about this passage comments about the disciples. He says it seems the disciples themselves were loath to give up the liberty of divorce. Thinking at a good expedient for preserving comfort in the married state and therefore like sullen children if they have not what they would have they will throw away what they do have. If they may not be allowed to put away their wives when they please they will have no wives at all. Unquote. That sounds to me like the boy with the ball. If I can't have it the way I want it then I'm not going to play at all. I'll give away this very ball that I've been wanting to play with my whole life because I can't have it the way I want it. That's the way so many in the United States are now viewing marriage. If I can't marry and get out with an easy divorce if I can't have that safety net there then I just won't marry at all. Maybe I'll live. We'll just live together. You say I'll take the benefits of the marriage in some ways but not take the responsibility or I'll be single and I'll just live a promiscuous life or whatever. You have all kinds of other alternatives that people look to. Did you know that the amount of people who have chosen to live in that single lifestyle has doubled during my lifetime. It has doubled the number of people who are anxious to live that single lifestyle as opposed to being married. People don't like to have limits. They don't like to live within bonds. They want all marriage can give and yet without any of the responsibility, any of the commitment. There's much fear about entering into marriage. But strikes me that in all of the things that we have in this life, some limits, some laws, some restrictions, some boundaries are absolutely essential in our life. for safety for security for our good. And that's true in so many areas of our life. You can't drive on the highway without having some boundaries. It's actually a good thing when they draw a double line on the highway so that you don't pass when you're coming over a hill. That's for your good. It's for safety. It's a law that's put there in place to guide you and keep you protected in that. so that you can have the full access to the highway in the way that's going to be most efficient to you. The speed limit is the same way. It's for your good. It's for your protection. The laws that limit young children from buying cigarettes or alcohol or those kinds of things are there for their good. The fact that there's some limit on height and weight on a roller coaster is a good thing. It's preserving life and so on. It's for your full experience of the best. In the same way, God limits marriage. He puts boundaries on it. He puts some safeguards there. They are for the safety. They are for the security and for the peace of the husband and the wife. But more than that, they are there. Those limits are placed on marriage so that you might reap all the blessings that a marriage has to offer. Without those, if you take off and you you throw away one of those rules or something like that, someone loses the bonds of marriage. Maybe you're quick to violate those rules. Then there can be no joy. There can be no security. There can be no intimacy. There can be no peace, security and so on. The thought of being tied to a spouse. In a difficult marriage where love is not easy. where it's not always rewarding, has always had the capacity to strike so much fear in the skeptics and the doubters and maybe those who are free living, free spirited people. And yet it's not until those people, the wild and the free spirited individuals begin to settle down, mature and consider the commitment that's necessary in making a marriage work, that they can truly experience what marriage has to offer all the good things that marriage has. If he's unwilling to bear the responsibility, if he's unwilling to bear the commitment, then his marriage will be fraught with trouble and suspicion. And bitterness and strife and on and on you can go, man can't stand even the anticipation of the heat, the the that kind of heat, let alone the heat itself, and so they stay away from the kitchen altogether. One writer wrote, It is foolish. It's a foolish, bad tempered thing for men to abandon the comforts of this life because of the crosses that are commonly woven in with them. Far from being a reason to avoid marriage, lifelong and loving commitment and faithfulness is the very thing that makes it most fulfilling. Most desirable. Yes, there are risks, there are costs involved, but gold and diamonds are rarely found on the surface of the ground. You don't just walk out and find diamonds. They're acquired through work and through digging and through endurance. The treasures of marriage are often found only through some hard things, sometimes through testing, through trials. That's when in a marriage you often find there is a deepening of the relationship and more persistence of faithfulness. And you see those in character and on and on. It's better for some not to marry with the expectation there's this easy way out. That's certainly something I've had to say to premarried couple premarriage counseling kind of situations before. It's better for you not to marry than to go in it thinking that there's this exit for you. To do that is to go into marriage with this exit plan is the plan to exit. You've got it already in your mind. You're on your way out. Some prefer to avoid the risks and the costs of marriage, and for some that's a good choice. But those are very, very few in number. Because singleness, which is the alternative. Is at least as difficult, if not more so. Doesn't always look to be, but it is. And so, we come to the other possible meaning of the phrase, not everyone can receive this statement or this saying. And in that sense, Jesus is referring to the fact that singleness is not for everyone either. Singleness is a gift granted only by God, we learn in this passage. Jesus points out that whereas married life may be a rewarding but a hard road at times, nevertheless, singleness is for a very few. Indeed, only those that God has equipped to do it. Singleness has its own problems it has its own temptations and not every Christian is capable of living a godly single life. And yet the scripture here speaks about three categories of people who are single and God has called to be such they have a definite calling of the Lord to be such and Jesus mentions three of these three categories of these. And he does so with an interesting terminology that's, you know, very specific to the day about eunuchs and so on. But let me see if I can paraphrase those to apply it here. I would say that the first category are those who are physically unable to marry in the fullest sense. Physically unable for some reason. Secondly, those who have made been made physically or emotionally unable to marry because it's been imposed upon them by someone else. And then third those who intentionally abstain from marriage so as to be better suited to serve the Lord more equipped to do so in a particular calling or unique way. The first of those two categories are the result of God's good providence. I said although I think it's very hard sometimes to understand how that could be good. And man struggles with to understand how God could allow something or even plan it in his providence to allow something that keeps something good from me. If we say marriage is a good thing and he says it is, why would God in his providence keep that from me? And yet it is good because it's from God. That's always hard for man to wrestle with. Jesus says some God has called to be eunuchs. Eunuchs were men physically but they were also physically unable to bear children or to sexually be united to a spouse. And though naturally that would refer to males if we take it in the simplest meaning of the word that category would I think also however include generally speaking about marriage in general I think it speaks about men and women who are born with maybe some genetic abnormality or who as a result of again if it's caused by others then maybe it's by accident something has happened or there are overwhelming circumstances and barriers that are placed in this person's life to the point where marriage is not a good thing. It's not even a possible thing for some. Some, by God's providence, in that sense, are born to be single. Others have a sense of calling to serve the Lord with such a singularity of heart that they voluntarily give up some of those comforts of marriage, believing that they can better serve the Lord without the distraction of marriage. 1 Corinthians 7, 32 through 34 makes it clear that marriage is a demanding thing. On the one hand, the unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please him, how to please the Lord. But then it says this. The married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife and his interests are divided. It's not saying that it's a wicked thing to have a wife, it's saying that when you do have a wife, there's that can cause a distraction to service. That's not to say that marriage is a burden that keeps one from serving the Lord. On the contrary, God has often given a helper to bring about better service in the kingdom and so on. But with that help often comes a distraction. It's just the way the Lord has designed it. But those who've been so gifted of the Lord to be able to be single in that sort of committed way are not under any necessity of marrying and therefore probably ought not to marry and should remain single. They are less encumbered with the cares of this life and so on. Paul was one who was in that situation. He says in 1 Corinthians 7 8 to the unmarried and the widows I say it is good for them to remain single as I am. There's a pretty good argument that Paul at one point had been married and for whatever reason whether his wife died or whatever that he was now a widower. That he was single and he was willing to commit himself to remaining so I can talk to you about that argument other times you're interested about it. But so God has gifted some to be married and he has some to be single. And both of those are there are difficulties and trials associated with both roads. And it would be wrong to claim that all men and women ought to be married. And it would be wrong to claim that the single life is to be preferred over marriage. In some by some now Jesus tells us each one whether we're called the one or the other how we're to proceed. He says that the one who is able to receive this receive it. We ask able to receive what. Well the teaching on marriage and the fact that it is better for some to remain unmarried. Whichever God has called you to were to receive it and were to dedicate ourselves to living faithfully within that calling. There are trials in each one and there are joys in each one. Ecclesiastes 7 verse 14 says in the day of prosperity be joyful and in the day of adversity consider God has made the one as well as the other. So God makes both conditions a married situation and a single condition. Both of those have joys and they have trials and the Lord makes them both the key. The key point I think that we're moving toward here is that the church must learn to welcome both categories. Those who have are called to marriage and those who are called to be single. God sovereignly calls people to one or the other, some to be married, some to be single, some have what we might call a temporary calling. And I think it's better to say it that way, to say a temporary call rather than a gift for singleness. Some some may have that gift and it is a permanent life thing. But others, I think, don't know quite sure whether they have the permanent gift or not, whether maybe it's a calling of God for this period of time in my life. Whereas God has placed believers whether they check off married or single on their tax status must be ready as a church to support them in their calling. We need to be ready to do that. So we have to learn to think or write about both categories of marriage and singleness. And then we need to then as a church as the body of Christ communicate to the world the society around us what is true about both categories. To think right about them the disciples and the Pharisees had come to think incorrectly about them. And these are people within the church so it's possible that we may be thinking incorrectly about these categories. The Pharisees and the disciples were thinking that divorce was something to have a displeasing wife or something of that nature to have divorce as an option. They thought that was a great privilege of God that God had given them. And in that in such cases to be always bound to the same woman in a horrible situation that was a tragedy in their thinking. And yet that was such backward thinking from what God had intended. And Jesus comes to correct that and set it straight. At the same time they thought that singleness was was bound to be better than a lifetime commitment to a woman and so on. So they're they're they're out of whack. We hear sentiments expressed of that kind in our day all the time. First, how do you respond? Well, I think first we must be careful that we don't buy into the thinking of the world on these two categories, certainly about marriage and divorce or singleness as well. We mustn't buy into what everybody else is thinking. We mustn't go in order to find out what is right and true to our cultural peers. We need to go back to the beginning to what God has designed. What has he said in his word? We must be careful about that. We need to learn to view married life with the spectacles of scripture, learn to find the gold, learn to find the diamonds that God has placed there and find and work toward that. Secondly, we need to commit ourselves to face the challenges associated with whatever calling we receive from God. If you're married then we need to face the challenges there and labor to be faithful within them and those associated with singleness. If you're single in order that you might reap the blessings that God has intended within each of those categories. Those blessings are woven into the very fabric of the calling that God gives you. And so it's important that we work to find them, whether married or single. And that can only happen with a heart that is first and foremost given over to Jesus Christ. This is, again, something you say in a pre marriage counseling, but I certainly say it to Christians, if you are going to be having a faithful, committed and successful marriage, it will only happen as your first love is for Jesus Christ. It won't be if you love your wife or your spouse your husband more. It's as you love Jesus Christ first and foremost. That's when your marriage will be successful. And I want to say the same thing is true for single people. The only way you can live a faithful single life and a godly single life is to have a love for Jesus Christ above anything else. So we must learn to love him and commit ourselves to walk as he would have us walk in those callings. The third we learned and we need to learn to be an encourager of both married couples and singles within the ministry of the church. The challenges upon both of them are phenomenal and you know this in your calling. Whether you're married or whether you're single, you know that that calling upon you is hard sometimes. There are great temptations on both counts. There are great struggles to be faithful in your area. So think of that in terms of a ministry and towards others as God enables you to be a blessing to other people. Encourage those who are married. Encourage those who are single. The challenges upon greater or both are great and they are true for Christians as well as unbelievers. Jesus clearly reached out to both camps as he did his ministry to marry people in singles and he upheld the institute of marriage while he himself was a single man and labored in that. So those who are called long term or even temporarily to be single let me speak to you for a minute. Use your freedom to serve while you have it. Use that. Don't waste the resource that God has called you and given you at the moment. Only a few are able to receive this calling. It's a hard one. But God maybe have called you specifically to it. And those of you who are married don't limit your ministry only to other married couples. Let me suggest that to you. It's a very easy and natural thing to want to have other couples come over to your home and have hospitality and those kinds of things. But remember the single person. While I was in seminary, I had a couple in the congregation of which I was a part take me in every Wednesday evening for a full three years, three years of commitment to me. But it was it would help me through being alone, help me through being single, help me through some of those times that were very hard. It was a great blessing to me. It's like Aquila and Priscilla taking Paul in. They were a ministry to him. They were a great help to him. So I encourage you in that as well. And whatever God has called you providentially to labor and humility to put the interests of others above your own. Married life and single life can be difficult roads to travel, but let me remind you that the Christian is different from the non-Christian. The Christian has help. Whereas the non-Christian doesn't have that help. I quoted from Proverbs 18 22 earlier which says he who finds a wife finds a good thing. But the last phrase that I highlighted there was this that person obtains favor from the Lord. Favor is the same word as grace in the scripture and we need God's grace to be faithful married people. And I think the same is exactly true for a calling that God gives to single people. That he will show you his favor, his grace, so that you can be faithful in it. The Christian single finds the grace as well. And we be faithful in these callings that God has given him, even if it's a temporary calling, may we be faithful in it and serve him well, let's pray. Lord, help us in each one of our particular callings. To have first and foremost a love for Jesus Christ that would seek to serve him in all things. Help us through the temptations, help us through the trials, even the hard times when the road is difficult. I pray that you would be ministering to us that we might learn to be those who think of others before the interests of our own. That we are able to do that and minister. May we be a church that ministers both to married people who are struggling as well as single people. May you enable us to show the love of Christ to all and in this way reflect his glory. We pray this in Jesus name. Amen. Would you turn to Psalm 86 with me? Selection B, 86, selection B.