Good afternoon, everyone. It's good to be back with you. We're going to continue through James chapter 3 tonight, and depending how far we get, we'll then work toward, in the next week or two, moving toward conflict resolution. And so we're going to kind of move our communication to then start dealing with conflict in our lives. It's something that I think most of us probably face from time to time. And so how to communicate well as conflict comes about in our lives. And so we want to make sure we're taking and that we understand foundationally how crucial our words are, but then as we start to interact with other people, how important it is for our communication then to honor God in our relationships. And many times when there's conflict, that's a real practical way for us to be able to make choices whether we're going to glorify God in our speech. And so that's kind of the progression where we're headed. As far as review goes, I just want to walk through this quickly for you. There's one thing that most people do all day, and that is talk. The ability to communicate is what separates us from the rest of creation. The word talk seems so normal and ordinary, but there are a few things that we do more, that are more important. And so, as we look at life to the glory of God, our communication is a huge part of how we spend our days glorifying God in a real practical way. four principles for our communication. God had a wonderful plan for our words that is far better than a plan we could come up with on our own. Sin radically altered God's agenda for our words, resulting in much hurt, confusion, and chaos. And then, in Christ Jesus, we find the grace that provides all we need to speak as God intended us to speak. And the Bible teaches how to get from where we are to where God wants us to be. Now, what happened? First of all, God spoke. He was the first one to communicate. And He, therefore, revealed Himself through words. And when He did, it was a world of peace. The world of communication was perfect. There were no communication struggles. How many of you in the last seven days have had any kind, on any level, of communication struggle with any relationship in your life? That did not exist when God initially revealed Himself. When we think of the Garden of Eden, and initially when God communicated with His creation, There were none of those communication struggles. However, because everything reflected the glory of God. But what happened was, Satan spoke. Another voice came on the scene. And for the first time, we see that the authority of God was challenged. The very words of God were questioned. And that had not taken place before. And we see an interpretation of life different from God. So God said, this is how I want you to interpret life and follow me. And then another voice came on and said, no, actually you'll be like God if you just make that choice. You'll actually be better than what you think you'll be. And so therefore the choice is made and the communication was believed. We see that then the first lie was spoken. We see people speaking against each other and start blaming each other. And then from there, you have conflict with Cain and Abel. And as the story goes, we are where we are today, where most all of us would say, on some level, we struggle with our communication. So, Proverbs 18.21 says, So, death and life are in the power of tongue. And so, there are options for us on a daily basis. We can speak words of life, words that glorify God, Or, we can speak words that really reflect the evil one, and therefore we don't glorify God. And so there's this moment-by-moment choice as we walk through life together. And many times in our homes, with husband and wife relationships, there's that constant choice. Are we going to glorify God in our communication? Parent-child relationships, perhaps with our college students here, you have the choice as far as roommate communication, or maybe a teacher in the institution that you're attending, the teacher-student relationship. There's all kinds of relationships. Maybe it's neighbors that, you know, you have options as far as glorifying God with your neighbors or coworkers. Again, the options are endless as far as our communication and whether we choose to glorify God. And the power of the tongue is something that we cannot minimize. And so that's why we want to constantly rehearse it and go back. So, James chapter 3, verses 1 and 2 says, Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment. So a general warning to those people who say, you know what, I wanna use my communication on a regular basis, and I wanna do that with my life. And so James is actually giving a very careful warning to those people, and again, this was in a context, but that those who really just from a very fundamental, basic idea, those who say, you know what, I'm going to spend my life using my words to influence people, There will be a stricter judgment, and so you better be very, very careful when you make that decision. For we all stumble in many ways, and this is where it starts to apply to every person here today. We all stumble, and that word is to trip up. to really to stumble, to knock your foot on something which causes you to fall, which in just a very basic form is we sin with our words, and we all do. And so those of you who raised your hand and said there was a sin struggle, there was a communication struggle, many times we're at fault with the part of the communication that, at least what we tend to invest in the conversation, Many times it's our problem, and we have to see it as that. We have to be honest with ourselves that, you know what, we stumble in many ways. We say things, and sometimes it's not even necessarily what we say, but it's how we say it. Does that ever happen in relationships in your life? Do you ever tell your kids, it's not what you're saying, it's how you're saying it, because how you're saying the words that you are is really telling me what's going on. You have a very angry heart right now. There's bitterness coming out of your heart. So, yes, you may be saying what is true, but that doesn't make it right because it is communicating really what's going on in your heart as far as our attitudes are concerned. And if anyone does not stumble, And what he says, he is a perfect man. And that word perfect there is that idea of a mature man, able to bridle the whole body as well. And so there's great hope for us that if we learn to control our mouths and our communication, then actually we're going to have a much better perspective on the whole of our lives. If we could get this area under control, we would probably experience a lot more of ways that we can glorify God and as far as just general peace in life. Because you're able to really take care of the whole body if you can get this area under control. Now, we've talked about a couple principles. One is from James 1 and 2 there that we just spoke about. Controlled speech is a measure of maturity. And that's that idea that if you're able to control your tongue, you know, the person who can do that, he is a perfect man or a mature man. So, you can kind of evaluate your life spiritually based on your words and what comes out of your mouth. And we don't like that kind of reality. We like to evaluate our spirituality based on maybe what other people do, or our list in our mind that kind of, you know, from our perspective, tells us whether we're spiritual or not. But I think this is actually one of the greatest ways that a person can evaluate how spiritual they really are, and that is their communication. what comes out of their mouth moment by moment in the relationships that God sets up in their life. And again, we don't like that because we like to feel better about ourselves than what we really are. But the scripture is very clear. Maturity really can be evaluated based on our communication and how much of our communication actually glorifies God. So the tongue is a small but significant member. If you go to James chapter 3, we've read verses 1 and 2. I want to keep going there. At the end of 2, it says there that if you're able to really control the tongue or control what a person says, then he's able to control the whole body as well. Now, if we put bits into the horse's mouths so that they will obey us, we direct the entire body as well. Look at the ships also, though they are so great and driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. So also the tongue is a small part of the body, yet it boasts of great things." So the second principle here is that the tongue is a small part of our entire bodies, but it has huge significance. And so, we must take our communication seriously if we want to live life to the glory of God. Now, there's a couple illustrations that the author gives, and you know, this still amazes me. And you think about the time in which James was written, right? So, he first of all talks about horses. So we have an illustration, two of them actually, one with a horse, and from this kind of period of time, a horse would be known, not everyone would own one, right? So we have a day where there's a lot of slaves and things like that. And so when someone would probably envision a horse, it would be more along the lines of a situation where it was a time of war or some sort of strong animal, maybe not necessarily a plow horse, but more something that is strong and really had been wild at one point. And so, again, illustrating the point that the tongue is a small part of the human body, but it has a huge effect. And so, when you take a wild horse and you put a bit or a bridle in the mouth of a horse, and those of you who have grown up with horses or currently ride horses or own horses, you understand this. You can take this massive animal and have complete control over it by this small little piece of equipment that you stick in their mouth, and it causes them to basically go wherever you desire. Now, the second illustration here, and that's the picture that you have here, is that of a ship. And James is writing to people who have been dispersed, and so many of them probably had been on some sort of a boat. That's a pretty good possibility. But in general, just as far as being around and understanding navigation on the waters at this time. Like, this is a very current picture of a boat, but think about when this is written, and the same principle applies, that you can have this massive ship, and yet it's controlled by a very small rudder in the back of the boat. And you can really dictate, and the scripture tells us that even though there are strong winds, right, even though, in verse four, look at the ships, even though they're so great, they're driven by strong winds, and yet they're directed by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Again, illustrating the fact that a very small part of our body can control really who we are as a believer in Christ and so much of how much we glorify God. It's a very small part, but it does boast of great things. And the idea of boasting here is not typically what we think about as far as pride is concerned, but it's more as far as that speech that would have a huge influence or have a great effect. That's the idea of boasting here. And so when James says in verse 5, So I don't know if I'm really giving you any new information, But I guarantee you this is something we need all the time in our lives to be reminded of, because we can easily slip into communication patterns and habits that aren't healthy and don't glorify God. In all of our relationships, there's a temptation to do that. And so we need the scripture to constantly remind us of, wait, you know what, our words really matter. And they have a huge effect on people, and we'll look at that here in a second. The third principle that I want us to understand here about our speech is that our words are potentially explosive. It is so crucial that we understand the importance of our words and the effect that they can have on other people's lives. Look in the middle of verse 5 there. It says, see how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire. And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity. The tongue is set among its members as that which defiles the entire body. and sets on fire the course of our life and is set on fire by hell. So our words are potentially explosive. They can have a huge impact on those people who we come in contact with and they can do great damage. It says, see how great a forest is set aflame by a small fire. you know, over the last year, we've probably seen a lot of pictures of the great wildfires. And perhaps that's what the writer is referring to, the fires that would be, you know, taking place in Palestine there, where a small spark of some sort can start something that is so damaging and it can go on and on and on. You know, you have opportunity to connect with people in a marriage relationship and you start diving into the conflict and what's happening, what's going on. And many times it starts with explosive words. words that have maybe started somewhat small, but in a heart that is hurt, that hurt can grow and grow and grow, and then the words get greater and more harmful, to the point where when you have couples that have all kinds of conflict in their marriage, you start to trace their communication pattern, and they're just constantly hurting one another. And you think about it, it's our words, as simple as that is. Sometimes it's not the extramarital affairs or this and that that's the problem. It's just our communication. And that goes for a couple who's been married for a year. And I've known couples who have been married for 50 some years and they argue and bicker against each other. And sometimes it's nonstop and it's wrong. Like we can't ever justify that. We can't ever say, well, that's just how we are. Now actually, Jesus doesn't want us to stay where we are. He actually wants us to live to His glory, whether we've been married for a year or 50 years, because He really cares about our words. And our words can be so damaging. In verse 6, the tongue is a fire. And this is probably one of the harshest statements about our communication. Look at what it says there. It's the very world of iniquity. Our tongues, it's the very world of iniquity, the tongue is set among its members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of life, and is set on fire by hell itself." Now that's a pretty drastic explanation of our communication, and especially communication that does not glorify God. We have communication problems because we have heart problems, right? And Jesus taught in Matthew and in Luke that what comes out of our mouth is what really is taking place in our heart. And so there's this reflection of what we say to one another, really, and you say, oh, you know, I was kidding, I really didn't mean it. Eh, probably did mean it. Most of the time, when we speak things, we really did mean them. And so, we have this constant choice in our relationships to use our, remember, death and life are in the power of the tongue. So do we use our words to provide life or represent what this verse says, the very world of inequity? Who controls, according to 1 John, the world in which we live? It says that the evil one does, right? And so our tongues can actually represent the evil one and the world that is controlled by the evil one. and it says it's set on fire by hell. It's like when we watch the evening news and it says that the White House said, well, the actual White House is not speaking, right? But it's a representative for, most of the time, the president or the leadership of our country. So then they can conclude, the White House said, well, it's the same idea here, set on fire by hell. Well, who is the authority in hell? It's the evil one. And so, our tongues can be controlled. They can be the very world of iniquity through our speech. And so, again, we cannot take lightly in any way our communication that we live with each and every day, no matter what the relationship. You say, well, you just don't know my mother. You just don't know my mother. I've lived with my mother for all these years. I'm 50 years old and she's still nagging at me. It doesn't matter. Like you can't use that as an excuse. And I don't know any situations where people and their mother don't get along. So that's, you know, I'm just trying to show that it affects every relationship. And we cannot have, as I mentioned this morning, any little compartments in our lives where we're not striving to live for the glory of God. You say, well, this one child of mine, you know, I just, I can, we're so opposite. We just totally miss each other all the time. And I just, I don't know how to communicate. I just can't do it. Yeah, actually you can, but it takes a lot of spirit control in your life. And it takes a lot of really intentional thought about how we are using our words in every way. And I don't know about you, but, you know, I have, we have five children, and you are able to connect with others, you know, some of them in different ways. I love all of my children. But there's one particular child that I just have a really hard time communicating with. and no matter how much I try, and how much we, you know, it's this constant, like, but God requires me to use my communication to His glory with that particular child. It's required of me. I have to live for His glory and communicate with that child in a way that pleases Him and brings Him glory. And so we can't justify in any way with any relationship to say that when we throw words out that are hurtful, we're actually representing the world of iniquity that is controlled by the evil one. And we don't like to think of our communication that way, but when you tear your spouse down, that's the reality of it. We're actually using our words that represent the very world of iniquity that is controlled by the evil one. Which is why they hurt so bad. which is why we can do so much damage in our relationships, because our words are extremely powerful. Another thing I want us to consider, the tongue is like a wild and deadly beast. If that wasn't enough, look down in verse 7, for every species of beast and birds of reptile and birds of reptiles and creatures of the sea is tamed and has been tamed by the human race, but no one can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil full of deadly poison." Well, the news doesn't get any better, folks. So he uses kind of the four characteristics of the animal kingdom. And man has been able to really, according to what God designed to subdue the earth and control it, man has been able to do that. And it says that man can tame the most wildest beasts. And so you have like, you know, crazy things like elephant soccer and donkey basketball. and, you know, the list can go on and on, where you can take these massive creatures, make them do what you want to do, and have these entertainment feats that really are, you look at it and you're like, this is absolutely crazy. But what we can't do, in and of our own strength, is control our mouths. and control our tongues. No man in and of themselves can tame the tongue." It says there because it is a deadly poison. It is a restless evil. So you wonder why there's conflict in your life. You wonder why you say these things and then you're like, oh, I shouldn't have said that. Because this is a major deal, right? Our communication is super important, and it reveals who's controlling us. Are we living in light of the control of the Holy Spirit, or are we living under the control of the evil one and according to our flesh? And that's a moment-by-moment evaluation. And our words, they're like poison. They're explosive. They can cause huge amounts of damage. Our words and our tongue, our speech, it's such a small part, but it has such a huge, significant impact on everything that we do. And the last thing I want us to see is the tongue tends to promote a double standard. If you continue down, it says in verse 9, with it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men. who have been made in the likeness of God. From the mouth come both blessing and cursing. Brethren, these things ought not to be this way. Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce flesh. So there's this part of life, and again, James is very helpful with just real practical illustrations. You have a tree. It's not going to produce two different kinds of fruit. Figs and olives. It's just not how God designed it. It's not the natural way. And you have a freshwater, or a saltwater spring, or a saltwater body of water. It's not going to produce fresh. That would be inconsistent. But what we do, because many times our tongues and our communication are controlled by the very world of iniquity, many times our tongues, we're very inconsistent. So we can, on one side of our words and our communication, we can praise the Lord, we can say we love the Lord, that we're following the Lord, we want to honor the Lord. and then we turn around and with our same mouth say things that we would never say if we really believed the Lord was standing in front of us. That's how inconsistent we are. Our tongues many times deceive us and our hearts as well really because that's what really comes out. We deceive ourselves into thinking that it's okay to on one side of our mouth sing the Lord's praises and then use our communication in ways that really don't glorify God at all. You know, I gave the illustration of the guy this morning, Mark Reif, and as I was talking to his best friend, he said, you know, Mark's father, and I'm not justifying anything, please, but Mark's father, You know, he was a preacher out of a pretty strict, kind of a Hyles Anderson kind of a perspective, and that's the kind of home that he grew up in. And unfortunately, his father was the kind of man who really exemplified this passage. to where he could stand up on a Sunday morning and speak about things of God and then at the dinner table use his words to really crush his children and crush his family and really curse even at times. And there was this This disconnect Where we can be deceived into thinking that you know what we can look really good on the outside When we go out and we're with our friends or we're with our co-workers or we're in our work employment place and or we're at church and you know, we're praising the Lord and we're loving the Lord and telling how people how much we want to follow the Lord and then Somehow, with that same mouth, we feel like it's okay to then cut people down who are closest to us, and perhaps curse, and I could go on and on about the world of iniquity, gossip, You know, so you can come and sing praises to the Lord, and then on the way home, your kids hear you gossiping about people. And you don't think kids pick up on that? Or you can come and have all kinds of ways that you express your love for Jesus, and then in another area of your life, You're free to say and do whatever you want. It's deception. It's wrong. Our tongue and our hearts, many times, we're tempted to live this way. And those of us, those people who are closest to us, they know the truth. They know what's real. And so we have to take our communication seriously. And every word matters. And it matters for the glory of God. Like, that's our standard. Not, well, I'm, you know, you should have heard the way my parents talked to me growing up. I'm far better than they did with me. That's not the standard. The standard is the glory of God. For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. That's the essence of sin. So if he is a holy God, righteous in every way, and desires at every point of our lives for us to be living according to his glory, that means every word that comes out of our mouth is crucial. And our hearts really are represented by our words and our communication. And so we have to stop justifying our sin and stop causing great damage to those people who God has brought into our lives. So whether you're a person who just complains all the time, like some people are just prone to that, and that's their propensity to sin. They just complain and they're negative. The glass is always half empty. And that's how they view the world. And so when you're around them, that's what you get. Complaining, murmuring, discontentment. Like God really cares about that and the influence that you're having on those around you. Because with your negativity, with your complaining, your murmuring, you're probably discouraging those people who are around you. You're not building them up. You're not helping reflect the goodness of God in every life situation. And again, we could go on and on in every aspect of this topic in communication. And it really, really matters if we're going to be people who say, The glory of God is so important to me. That's why I was created according to Isaiah. We were created for His glory, so therefore I'm going to shore up my communication. Like, I'm going to make a change. I want to honor the Lord in every aspect of my life. And so, those of you who raised your hands say, you know, I've had communication trouble. Stop looking at the other person in the relationship. Start with your own heart and with your own words and say, where is the restless evil in my words? Where is the very world of iniquity represented in my words? How can I change to glorify God in this particular relationship? How can I use my words for God's glory? And really strive to be consistent. That we would not, it would not be said of us that we bless, as verse nine says, we bless the Lord our Father with our mouths and then we turn around and we curse men who are made in the likeness of God. And we can make application of that even to bigger and bigger areas where it even goes beyond the relationship pool that is immediate to us. So we use our words to tear down people that we really don't even have much connection with. I have a very strong and a very difficult problem when Christians talk politics and they don't glorify God with their speech. And when the different elections go through, I am really, really strong on it, where Christians somehow justify, depending on who's in the White House from their particular vantage point, that satisfies and really lines up with their political ideology, that they somehow can justify being negative. and really tear down people that aren't even really in their relationship pool. You say, well, I'm standing on truth. No, I actually think you're sinning. And when people get on Facebook and talk politics, it happened a couple weeks ago, and I can't remember what the issue was that hit the fan that week, and you have all these Christians that are spouting opinions that really, none of that communication glorifies God. So if you've been on Facebook, you've been talking, I literally have nothing in my mind. I just remember recently it taking place and specifically during the whole election process. And in this week, it's about gun control and this and that. And you know what? Sometimes it's better as a believer to just live a quiet life. A wise man keeps his words. He keeps his mouth shut in most occasions. And just because you have this new platform called social media that you can now say what you want and put it out there, and you really don't have anyone standing in your face, so to speak, to challenge you on it. But it's a huge part of Christian's communication right now. You say, well, you know, I just, I have convictions and I'm going to stand on my convictions. Well, I hope you do have convictions and I hope you do stand on them, but you're going to be held accountable for how you communicated those convictions. And many times as Christians, we do a lot of damage in the relationships, the evangelistic relationships that God brings across our path. because we blow it, we have explosive words, and we do damage to people. And so, it may not be the husband and wife relationship that you're struggling with your communication. That may be great and fine. It may not be you with your children, or with your parents, or with your coworkers, or your neighbors. But perhaps, it's how you communicate your worldview to the people who are listening to you. And God cares about that area of your life. And so, whether it's our president, I'm all for staying on truth. You know what, when President Obama was in office, What I tried to do at Keystone was to find areas where I could highlight his strengths. So instead of tearing the man down, I tried to highlight and find positive. That man was so affectionate with his wife in public. That's what I learned from President Obama as a very public official. He always was affectionate with his wife publicly. And that's an area where that's really helpful for me. and even take the distinction between what we have now. But it's helping our pocketbooks. Like the economy's doing great. And again, I'm not weighing in. Really, I'm not a political person as far as that's concerned. But we can tear people down when really we could use our words to promote life. And we can find redeeming things about people, and really highlight and focus on those things. Because when we come across as Christians, like, well, we're just better than everybody else. I don't think it really helps our gospel witness. I don't think it does. And yet somehow we justify our words as if we think that they honor God. And they just don't. And so God cares about our words. If you can learn to control your speech, which really is coming under the control of the Holy Spirit, and living under that, because it tells us no man can tame the tongue. But because we are believers in Jesus Christ, we have the Holy Spirit living inside of us, we actually can live life to the glory of God in this area. And he wants to change us so that we actually do please him with our words. And it's a moment-by-moment thing because as soon as we think we have the control of our tongue, that very world of iniquity is right there tempting us saying, And we can say something on this side of our mouth, it's like, ah, just blew it again. So we have hope tonight, but we have to be honest with ourselves. We have to, we have to evaluate our hearts on a regular basis. Does my heart that really is being communicated through my words, does it really glorify God in every compartment, in every area? And that's what God wants. So as we close tonight, let me pray here as we close and ask God to help us in our communication this week. Father God, Our words matter to You, and we want You to be in the center of our lives, and we want to practically apply that, where we are very cautious of every word that we speak. Lord, I pray that You will help us to be able to understand what a huge part of life our communication is, and that our tongues can cause so much damage. They can be explosive, they can start fires that will be very hard to quench, and Lord, they can do so much damage. But Lord, with your control, the control of the Spirit, we can use our words to glorify you. Help us to go into a world that is in desperate need, and be able to speak life and speak truth this week. Thank you for working on us, as our sister mentioned tonight. Lord, you're still working on us, and we're thankful for that. In your name we pray, amen. You are dismissed.