Well, certainly there are few occasions in Christian ministry and pastoral ministry that bring more excitement, more celebration than that of a wedding, a wedding ceremony. With all the preparation that goes into it, planning, counseling, a lot of investment by these individuals, and then the fun parts, choosing rings, dress, colors, it all leads up to this very, very big day. And the day comes, and the guests arrive, family and friends take their seat, the ceremony begins, groomsmen come down, the bridesmaids, the music is wonderful, and then you have the bride and the groom standing right next to each other, face to face, they are full of love, their hope, full, they're joyful, and then they take vows. They speak forth these words that have a formational effect, binding them together, making this commitment, and then it's followed by those words by the pastor or officiant, husband, you may kiss your bride. During that time, I usually am looking down, I'm thinking, they're right up front there, are we supposed to look at that? I don't know, but I usually look away. And then the reception, you've got feasting, you've got song, you've got dance. And so it is a joy-filled, hope-filled occasion in life. So much so that the couple can be potentially quite unaware that this is going to be a, if not the relationship their life that not only has the greatest potential for experiencing deep and profound love, it is going to be the central most environment, by God's design, if you end up being married, to be sanctified, where sin is exposed, your weakness, need for growth, and so it has this environment that is the richest and can be some of the most difficult. It reminds me of a conversation I had with one of my pastor friends, close pastor friends, a number of years ago. He had just officiated a wedding and the couple went away on their honeymoon. They got back a week and a half later and they had their sort of first conflict in marriage. And the wife ended up calling some family members. And he, she also called my pastor friend and she She explained the conflict that they had, and it was a somewhat typical disagreement, but it ended in some high emotions. And she said, pastor, I want to go home. I want to go home to mom. I want to go home to dad. And my pastor friend said, you know what I said, Will? I said, you are home. You are home. And that's true. This is your new home that you're going to navigate and you're going to invest your life in. There's a poem that I want to read, just brief, right before our text in Mark 10. They say a wife and husband, bit by bit, can rear between their lives a mighty wall, so thick they cannot talk with ease through it, nor can they see across it stands so tall. Its nearness frightens them, but each alone is powerless to tear its bulk away. And each dejected wishes he had known for such a wall some magic thing to say. So let us build with master art, my dear, a bridge of faith between your life and mine, a bridge of tenderness and very dear, a bridge of understanding strong and fine. Till we have formed so many lovely ties, there never will be room for walls to rise. The text is Mark chapter 10. We're continuing through Mark's gospel. We're on the second half of Mark's gospel. Verses 1 to 10, we are reminded that the Lord does not shy away with the most significant and heaviest of subjects. Mark 10, verse 1. And he left there and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan, and crowds gathered to him again. And again, as was his custom, he taught them. And the Pharisees came up, and in order to test him, asked, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? Jesus answered them, what did Moses command you? The Pharisees respond, Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away. Jesus said to them, Because of your hardness of heart, he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. And in the house, the disciples asked him again about this matter. He said to them, whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery. In our 22 years of marriage, Shelly and I have been on a small handful of marriage conferences. Not as many as we would like, but maybe four or five. They've all been good with one exception. And in that exception, as we gathered in a hall about this size of our sanctuary, about 100 people in there, the team, it was a husband-wife team that was hosting, they came out and they were dressed in costume. That was the first sign. That was the first sign. But within minutes, within minutes, they had us all on our feet. They had us dancing, movement. They're trying to get us excited about being there. They had us turn toward each other. Give your spouse a high five. And I was almost gone at that point. I was not encouraged. I was not built up, to say the least, at that point. Sometimes we just need retreat. We just need space. We need time to get away together. But given the furnace that marriage, the marriage environment can be for many people, I would say for all at times, given the level of brokenness, pain, separation, discord at times, divorce that couples go through. Believers need a whole lot more. People need a whole lot more than emotional uplift. To borrow a motto from one of my pastor friends' churches that he used to serve, their motto was, the beauty of the gospel touching, penetrating the brokenness of life. I love that motto. The beauty of the gospel touching the brokenness of life. That's what we need for our life of faith and in all of our relationships. Marriage is not you complete me. In and of themselves, a husband and wife do not complete each other outside of the Lord. It's two individuals, sinful, messy, broken, yet bound together to walk together the only path that is going to bring flourishing, growth, and joy, and that is the way of the cross. To learn what it means to daily die to self, to be a blessing to another. Notice Jesus's words here are not his in sort of shepherding instruction to a group of disciples The context is Jesus being questioned in fact tested by the Pharisees All right, they want to expose Jesus as somehow an opponent of the law of God the law of Moses and yet as we see with the wonder of our Lord he does have that shepherds heart and he gives that shepherding care and guidance here. We see in verse 2, the Pharisees came up in order, it says, to test him. They asked, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? That's the question that they put before Jesus. We read slightly different words in Matthew chapter 19. There the Pharisees ask, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause? For any cause. Notice the question, though, that the Pharisees are asking, because it reveals a fatal flaw in their thinking about the law, the precepts, the commandments of God. And this is a flaw that will creep into the believers' lives at times. because they're essentially asking, what does it allow me to do? Now, they're after a lot more than that, aren't they? They're looking to test Jesus. They want to expose him somehow as an opponent of the word of God. But how this is so prevalent in thinking today, people's views of the commandments. Just where is there room for liberty to pursue what I want to pursue in life? while still somehow adhering to the commands. More bluntly, what can I get away with? They're interested, we might say, in their rights, not the blessing that comes through responsibility. True obedience, devotion to the Lord and His commands. Look at verse three through five. Jesus answers this with their question, He says, what did Moses command you? They said, Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away. And Jesus said to them, because of your hardness of heart, he wrote you this command. The Pharisees are referring to the only command that we have in the Old Testament regarding divorce. Divorce shows up in several places in the Old Testament. It's assumed in places. This is the single command regarding divorce. So the language, the opening words of Deuteronomy 24 that they are referring to are these. When a man takes a wife and marries her, If then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her. And he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of the house. Opening lines of Deuteronomy 24. Notice that the Pharisees in asking Jesus this question give no circumstances It's just a straight question. Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? Not in this case, not in that case, or this situation. They simply ask, is it lawful? Well, maybe you picked up on one of the key words in Deuteronomy 24, and that's the word indecency. If she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her. Well, in the Judaism of Jesus' day, in first century Judaism, there were essentially two main views of this text in Deuteronomy and of marriage and divorce here. One only allowed for divorce for some illicit affair that occurred. So indecent there would have been understood as adultery, unfaithfulness. One has united themselves to someone else. They've broken the bond. But there was a much looser, a much more liberal interpretation that permitted divorce for any reason. You step back and think about our culture today. You can go right online. No-fault divorce. Call this number. You can consult. They'll bring you right down the path. Think about that. A no-fault divorce. It's like a no-sin divorce. We're gonna see that there are exceptions for divorce, biblically, but there is no divorce that ever occurs where sin is not present. That's to be sure. Jesus clearly sides with not only the conservative view, but if the Pharisees have in their minds what comes through in Matthew 19, is divorce permitted for any cause, Jesus' response to that is an emphatic, absolutely not. No way. While Jesus does provide an exception for divorce in Matthew 19, which we'll see, that is in the case of sexual immorality or adultery, Deuteronomy 24, if you were to examine that, was a protective to families. More narrowly, it was a protective for women. As one dives in and they look at the context, if a man marries a wife, she receives a dowry, a gift from her father. And the man, if he ends up divorcing her, he would acquire that dowry. If she remarried, which the text says, if she remarried, receiving a second dowry, a second gift, and her second husband dies or divorces her, the law forbid the first husband to remarry her. It was to protect her from the likely exploitation of the man seeking her second dowry, this gift, this wealth, taking advantage her it was a protective the disciples you note later asked Jesus in the house about his teaching there in verse 11 and 12 his response he says to them whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her and if she divorces her husband and marries another she commits adultery Jesus's words here need to be understood with the condition, taking in the rest of his teaching and of scriptural teaching, the condition that someone is divorcing on unlawful or unbiblical grounds. It's not every remarriage that is a committing of adultery. Jesus and the scriptures give two exceptions for divorce. Sin is always involved in divorce somewhere. But there are two exceptions. One is the exception of sexual immorality, unfaithfulness, in which case a person has united themselves to another outside of marriage. They've broken the bond of the marriage that they're in. In this case, Matthew 19, is a key text and chapter regarding marriage and divorce. Most believe that divorce from the unfaithful spouse in that case is permitted and that one may remarry. So unfaithfulness has occurred. The second exception is found in 1 Corinthians 7, Matthew 19, 1 Corinthians 7, key texts for this subject. By the way, if I were to commend one text or one small volume regarding marriage and divorce, it would be J. Adams' book called Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage. But the second exception is 1 Corinthians 7, which is desertion, we would call it, a deserting by an unbelieving spouse. And so someone finds themselves in a marriage, perhaps they come to faith, but their spouse is not a believer. And the non-believer deserts. They want to abandon. They want to walk away from the marriage. Paul says the believer is free at that point. Free. And he may re- or she may re-marry. Now, in my pastoral experience and just life experience, as I'm sure many of you have either experienced or observed, there are numerous different circumstances that can be surrounding marriage and divorce and remarriage. Divorce can occur on unbiblical grounds. If it does, one should not remarry, or they should be reunited to their spouse. One may find themselves remarrying when they should not have biblically. In that case, they should remain married. They have bound themselves to that husband, to that wife. Spouses at times find themselves in marriages that are full of neglect and anger, control, great difficulties, in which case one needs intervention, help. I'll mention two things at this point. One, the reason for God's precepts and counsel and attention on marriage is because of its tremendous worth. God has a high view of marriage. The foundation it serves for one another, for children, for society, for the church. As it goes, a healthy society, a healthy culture rests on a healthy church, and a healthy church rests on healthy families, healthy marriages, healthy individuals. You think about the way the modern culture views what a healthy society is and how to pursue and cultivate a healthy society. It's so much about arrangement. We just need to rearrange the chairs on the vessel. That will create a healthy society. But you step back and you think about the neglect of attention upon individuals, godly character, families, how significant that is. God has a high value that he has placed upon marriage and families. Secondly, let us remember in our own marriages, in all of our relationships, whether you're married or whether you're single, in all of our relationships, we were, and we still are at times, that wayward, spiritually unfaithful spouse to our Lord. And yet the Lord pursued us, and he still pursues his people, because he has set his love and affection upon them, that we would know reconciliation and forgiveness. We see in scripture the use of God as bridegroom, as husband, and his unfaithful people. Think of the book of Hosea. There in Hosea 2, the Lord responding to the unfaithfulness of his people, the Lord says, therefore, behold, I will allure her. I will bring her into the wilderness. I will speak tenderly to her. There I will give her her vineyards. I will make for her a door of hope. There she shall answer, as in the days of her youth, as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt in that day, declares the Lord, you will call me my husband. Well, Jesus not only navigates the testing of the Pharisees, he pastors, he shepherds all who would have ears to hear what marriage was intended for, why God created and designed marriage in the first place. And so he takes the hearer back to the beginning, back to Genesis. So we look at verse six. Jesus says, but from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. They're no longer two, but one flesh. But therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. Unlike the culture around us, marriage is not first for one's personal fulfillment. Though marriage may be filled with tremendous satisfaction and joy, it's not for convenience or mere personal benefit or gain. Marriage is this unique relationship. In a certain way, like no other, though similar to the relationship the church has to the Lord, this union, but it is unique. A father and a son may experience love, a mother and daughter, deep emotional tie. Two friends experience real devotion and tenderness. But the marriage between a husband and wife actually, in that marriage, they become, in a way, something, someone they were not before. Two individuals become one. They become one. Verse 8, the two shall become one flesh. They're no longer two, but one flesh. Jesus's view of marriage as he draws upon Genesis 2, 24 is indeed radical. Because it is the fact that these two sinful broken vessels and being united in marriage are reflecting the very nature of God. That word, one, right, one flesh, that's a significant word for the people of God of old in the Old Testament. It's the Hebrew word echad. This is the word used among the people of God recited daily, regularly, in arguably the most important text in all of the Old Testament, right, the Great Shema. That word meaning hear, listen, oh Israel, And what does it say? The Lord our God, the Lord is one. There it is, echad. That word really means many which are one. It's a harmony out of a plurality. That's what's going on in marriage that is to reflect the nature of God. God is one, but he is one in three persons. He is in community, within himself. one in three persons, many yet one. Marriage is a harmony, a unity, out of a plurality or diversity. Some would say that the change is so great, as one is married, it's an ontological change, meaning the very nature of a person changes. They were two, now they're one. As one person put it, the unity is not one of mere cooperation, but of being. There's something deeply profound about what's going on in the design God provided in marriage. And it's so tangible and palpable, it's like, think about two seeds planted into a single pot of soil. And then the days pass and the roots are going down and you just see these two seedlings sprout up, two individual seedlings. But as time goes on and you were to go beneath the surface and into the soil, those roots often are starting to interweave together, right? They're becoming one, binding together. So much so that if you were to go beneath the surface, you may not be able to tell at parts the distinction between one root and the other. They're forming together. And if you tried to pull them apart, and it happens, pieces and remnants of the individual roots would be torn, shred apart, taking parts of the other with them, creating great pain, lasting scars. A lighter picture, I think about my wired headphones. I use those to listen to music while reading. I put them into my computer. I get done, take them out, put them in my book bag. And somehow the next day, I mean, who got into my bag, right? The wires are all bound together, like a ball of rubber bands. Like, what happened? I didn't put them in that way, right? Five minutes to get the knots out, right? Marriage has that interwoven bond, not easily pulled apart. Oneness occurs not only because two are building a life together, sharing a home, they might be having children, opening their hearts to another, but because God has built into that marriage this intrinsic value. He's made it something unique, sacred in a way. It's not valuable because the society says so, It's sacred ground because God created it, He designed it, He made it to be a reflection of Him. One of the more important quotes that I read in preparing for this text or line was from David Garland, and he said, quote, while proclaiming God's will for marriage, we should recognize one cannot restore a failed or broken marriage, we might add, one cannot build a healthy marriage with the mere prohibition of divorce. The Pharisees are asking, is it lawful? Is it lawful to divorce? But we want to be asking, what am I after? What am I after in life? What am I valuing in life? What am I valuing in the relationships that God has placed in my life? Is it the things that my God values? Because we're going to cherish and we're going to handle with care the things that we're valuing. And so a call The value to invest to serve one's marriage is a call to revere and to glorify the Lord. And that's one of the potentially and greatly freeing effects of this truth, that one can serve and love their husband, serve and love their wife, serve and love those around them for a value, a worth and purpose greater than that person themselves. Something that is higher and greater than the character or the behavior or the person, their brokenness, their blessedness. Sometimes, maybe often, our loved ones fall short. They hurt us. They sin. Our friends. Sometimes that is painful. Sometimes those around us are not so lovely. But we have a fuel, a motive that goes beyond those letdowns or disappointments or unmet hopes. There's a well that we are to draw from that has an endless supply of love and grace. It's out of that that we are to serve and to care and to love. We don't want to try and master our marriage or our relationships. We want to serve our relationships by investing our lives in our master and submitting to him and loving him. I cannot think of a greater principle for marriage. If there is one, in all seriousness, let me know. But it is the principle that we see in Ephesians 5, which we heard read earlier, and it is the principle that Jesus speaks of in the farewell discourse in regards to the love that his disciples are to have one for another. Same kind of principle. It's why marriage, in great part, was created and designed. Just a couple of verses again from Ephesians, Ephesians 5.25. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Verse 32, this mystery is profound, and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church. Let each one of you love his wife as himself. Let the wife see that she respects her husband. This mutual submission. Respect. There's a dying, there's an offering of oneself that's being called for, for the other. That's a reflection of the love of Christ, His dying love for His bride, the church. The principle is to love, not according to how another is treating me, but to love according to how my Savior pursued me. Still pursues His people. amidst our mess and our sin, our hard-heartedness at times, where else will one be forgiven and freed, and thus able to pour out and offer love but the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ? In marriage, in any relationship, Jesus beckons us to the cross to see what love looks like. The late Ruth Graham, wife of Billy Graham said, a joyful marriage is the union of two good forgivers. And so marriage, like the Christian life, is to be cross-formed, cruciformed. It's a death of self, an end of self, where something else emerges. The man, the woman, God is shaping us into in the image of his son. In marriage, sometimes that cross means Going on a date with your spouse. I mean, that's not a cross. That shouldn't be a cross. Maybe you haven't been for a long time. You need to. Sometimes it means doing the dishes. Or it means counseling sometimes. Asking for help. Asking for forgiveness. Maybe it means writing a letter. The most important cross bearing, most important offering we can give to our spouse or anyone is not first our love to them. It is first our love to Christ. That's the greatest thing that you can give to those around you, is first a love for your Lord. That's what they need the most. What they need the most is not that they be put first, but in putting our Lord Jesus first. Seek first his kingdom. Seek first your Lord. That's the great commandment. As a result, there is then overflowing joy and gratitude, help and love. And then just recently, I'm reminded of this, our marriages, our relationships, that they be fruitful, godly. We cannot merely believe in the methods that God gives to us. Those methods, we think of those important categories. Consider others better than yourselves. Seek Christ first. Submit and love as Christ does the church. As critical as those categories and methods are, we need more than methodology. We need to believe in Christ's divine agency. His power, whether it is in our marriage or any other aspect of our faith. He doesn't just leave us with a set of methods to pursue. He is divinely at work in the life of his people by his Holy Spirit, in the life of our faith, in our relationships. He's not left us alone with methods. He's presently working as agent in our lives. Praise be to the Lord for it. So let us build with master art, not only in marriage, but in our relationships. a bridge of faith between your life and mine, a bridge of tenderness and very near, a bridge of understanding, strong and fine. Till we have formed so many lovely ties, there never will be room for walls to rise. Let's pray. Oh, dear heavenly Father, we recognize that both the weightiness and the sometimes labyrinth within your word of navigating what you reveal to us As we find ourselves in challenging circumstances, oh Lord, we all need to be sitting under Your Word, learning of what marriage is about, whether we're married or not, for You value it. We want to value the things that You value. We want to uphold those things. Lord, You've called us into our particular circumstance, our lot in life, whether married, whether we have been divorced, remarried, whether we're single. O Lord, help us to align our lives, O Lord, according to your word and how we thank you that you have showered upon us a grace upon grace, that we have forgiveness of sins, that we can come with open hearts, open eyes before you and your throne of grace to sit under your teaching, to follow after your ways. Lord, encourage our hearts anew today. Help us, Lord, to live out of that cross which you beckon us to come, to be crucified with Christ, risen with Him in newness of life. Thank you for your matchless grace and mercy. And we pray, Lord, that you would strengthen us as your people in every way. For we pray these things with thanks, in Jesus' name.