I pray to open your Bibles to the book of Ephesians, please. We're going through the armor of God. But I forgot. Today is what? I'm in trouble. No, guys, you're in trouble. First of all, my difficulty with today is my bride is not here. She's been gone for several weeks now to see her family in Mexico and and pretty tough having Valentine's Day without a Valentine there. But when you especially when you know she's but she'll be home Tuesday night. Not that I'm counting, but at 822 she's going to be coming in. And so I said that we were going to go back and relook at a passage. One of the fellows came in this morning, said, I really dread today. But he has no idea how tough it's going to get. Ephesians, Chapter 5, please. Ephesians, Chapter 5. This is a wonderful text. It really begins with this thing about hupotasso, how we are to be in subjection one to another. verse 22. Well, verse 21 begins by saying submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. And then we go through a series of of husbands and wives submitting themselves to one another. Children submitting themselves to their parents and parents to their Children and and employers and employees. And we've already studied the text. But I did not make the application from the context of the husband, beginning in chapter five, verse 25. And I want to say this morning that as we have looked at this text in the past, one in the context of God's love for us as he loves the church to in the area of wives, we look at the matter of submission, the manner of submission, the motive and the model of submission. And so we've come really to the guy part, beginning in verse 25. Let me review just a couple of thoughts. Before the fall, Adam and Eve had a perfect marriage. Their love was beautiful. It was perfect harmony. Adam saw Eve as bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh. He saw us perfect. There was nothing to criticize. And he had no critical spirit. They were naked. And because there was no wrong or wickedness, there was no selfishness or self-will that was in its purity so beautiful. And then the fall came. And when then they fell, the fall brought sin. And there was the disobedience of Eve as she disobeyed God. And then there was the disobedience of Adam as he disobeyed willingly, knowingly. He was not tricked like Eve was. There was that reversal of the roles that took place. There's a selfishness and self-centeredness that began at that moment. It almost sounds like we shouldn't say it this way, but there became a curse, not only upon man, but a curse on marriage. The first murder was between two brothers. In chapter 4 of Genesis Lamech, we see him as a polygamist. In chapter 9, we see where Ham did something very immoral with his father, whereby he cursed, Noah cursed Ham. We see Sarah setting up her husband for adultery with Hagar. We see in Chapter 19 two cities completely destroyed because of homosexuality. We see in Chapter 34 where Shechem rapes a young girl by the name of Dinah, Jacob's daughter. In Chapter 38 we see where Tamar seduces her father-in-law Judah. From the very beginning, after the fall, we see the downward spiral of the home and of marriage. I'd like for you to note with me in verse 25. Here we find very clear words. One, love is submitting ourselves one to another. Love is submitting ourselves one to another. And so our wife who patassos to our leadership, we who patasso to her by loving her. Submitting. Number two, love is sacrificial. You notice with me, please, in verse 25, it says, Husbands, love your wives. How? Here's our example. As what? Christ loved the church and gave himself. He sweat drops of blood. His face was beaten where it was hard to be recognized, his beard was plucked out. His side was whipped to where his back would have hung like crimson icicles dripping with blood, nearly disemboweled. He was so weak that he fell underneath the burden of carrying the cross. There on Calvary, an execution squad drove nails into his hands, nails into his feet, and he was lifted up between heaven and earth and died on the cross for you and for me. The text says, Husbands, we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself. For us, for us. And so there's not a person that's good enough for Jesus to go through what he did for you and for me. And beloved, the world is the ungodly concept of love is that it's object in its orientation. It's it looks at beauty and it says, as long as it's beautiful, I love it looks at characteristics or personality. And as long as it's a good personality, I love that person. But when it disappears, when it dims, then the love is withdrawn. And beloved, in the while we were yet sinners, Christ loved us and died for us. And so we submit to our wives by loving them sacrificially. That word here, love, the word agape, is a complete, comprehensive love. It's an unconditional, uncompromising love. It is a full, fulfilling love. Loving. Romans 5, 7 says you'll hardly ever find someone that you would be willing to die for And very few would even die for the very best of people. And yet Christ loved us and died for us. Beloved, that is our example. It's an unconditional love. You know, I think we get love turned around. Love is not getting. Love is giving. For God so loved the world, He what? Gave His only begotten Son. And so, guys, we are to give ourselves to our wives. And you say, but Pastor Larry, you don't understand. The feeling is not there the way it once was. Guys, you can go out and you take a car or let's say a new motorcycle. And when you really, really admire that, and give it your attention, there's going to be an affection for that object. And, Beloved, we need to make the object of our affection our wives. And don't allow any transference of affection to anyone else. The first step down a road to the destruction of your marriage is the transference of affection that belongs to your bride to someone else. Love is unconditional. Love is giving, not getting. And can I remind you, it's a choice. You say, Pastor Larry, it's easy for you to talk about your bride, Josefina, because she's a sweet girl. Beloved, she is a Mexican and she has times that she, but anyway, apart from that. Beloved, I picked her out of all the women in the world. And guys, you made the choice for that bride of yours, for that wife. I didn't. You made a choice. You then make that choice. The object of your affection and the increase of your affection, your love for her will continue to grow. It will just continue to grow. It's a choice. We choose where we're going to express our affection, give our attention. And so what a person chooses to love, to be the object of an affection is what you're then attracted to. Guys, I think the most powerful thought here, this love is in the command. There's something about bravery. following the command of our CEO that means something to a guy. This morning, we've got guys in Afghanistan that are facing danger. And as the Taliban is out to kill every one of those guys from America and their CEO, their commanding officer says, guys, march in that position. They don't turn around, say what? They say, yes, sir. And our Commander-in-Chief, the Lord Jesus, says, guys, love your wives. It is a command. It's God's will. And, beloved, when the beauty and the personality changes or the attractiveness disappears, it doesn't change our orders. When I first met Elizabeth, my first bride, And I saw her and my heart began to skip a beat. And her developed the closeness, the relationship. And she was the object of my affection for those 33 years until I say she left me for someone better when she went to be in glory. And I remember walking into a room years ago, nine years ago, Down in Mexico and see a little Mexican girl and her face, I thought it was hooked up to batteries. It was just shining, radiant. I walked back to my room and said, I did not know that I would ever love again because my first love was with the Lord. And God put a special love in my heart for Josie. And as time goes on and the body is not what it once was. or the personality might change or things just the body's got to fall apart. That's the only way we're going to get out of this body to get to heaven. But that doesn't change the command. The standard is set and there's no room, guys, for being brutal or bullish or brutish. There's no room for being macho. There's no room for being chauvinistic. And if the beauty and the personality and the attractiveness disappears, it doesn't change anything. Our pattern is God's pattern. I mentioned to you that there is a curse that was put upon man and effectively affecting then also marriage. Beloved, you reverse the curse by following God's command to love your wife no matter what. One, we are to be in submission by loving our wife. Two, we are to sacrifice for our wife. Number three, we are to sanctify the relationship. Love is sanctifying. Notice it says in verse 26 that he might sanctify it and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. And so we're using the picture of Christ in the church, the picture of the husband loving his wife. And so, guys, what you really, really like, what you love, you don't want it to get dirty. That's why you go out and you wash that special car or that special motorcycle, whatever it is, and you can't take care of it. You don't want to disgrace. You don't want to defile. You don't want to demean that which you love. And so we have a responsibility, guys, to love and bring a sanctifying effect to our marriage. The word holy here, set apart, the old Jewish custom was when you gave a ring, you said, thou art sanctified to me. So we're to do everything in our power for there to be purity in our relationship with one another. and around the home, especially around the relationship that we have with our wife. That's why you can't watch some of that TV program. You can't watch some of those movies. That's why you can't listen to some of the music, because it brings ideas and thoughts that are not holy and pure. In ancient Greece, young brides were taken to the river on their wedding day, and they were ceremonially cleansed as a symbol of of being presented to the groom, being presented to the marriage bed, being presented at the altar as pure and perfect. And so we're to make sure that we take an active role in providing a pure and a holy context for our bride, for our home. You'll notice in verse 27, please, he's going to present us A glorious church. And notice the words, no spot, no wrinkle, nothing. And one that is not unholy, but holy and has no blemish. Five different ways to say the same thing. And what is it that does it? The word. So in the Christian context is the word of God, the word of a hit on my heart that I might not sin against thee. And beloved, don't listen. You need to memorize scripture with your wife. You need to have daily devotions with your wife. You need to set an example to have your wife, your family with you under the preaching and teaching of the word of God. It is the word of God. Rima is the Greek word R-H-E-M-A. It's the word that brings the purity in your marriage. Rima. So discussing the Sunday school lesson on your way home or discussing the message, especially this one on your way home. And so there is the love is submission to one another. Love is is it is a sacrifice. Jose has been gone several weeks. When you get married and you choose someone to love, it is a sacrifice. I can get up anytime I want. I can go to bed anytime I want. I mean, these last couple of weeks. I make cozy coffee every morning. I bring her a little cookie or something sweet every morning before I go to work. She's still in bed. She's Mexican. And so I love her every morning. And when she's gone, I don't have to do that. I choose to do that. I don't say I have to in a bad sense, but I choose to do that. And if I don't want to do that, by the way, I do make the bed every day. But if she's not there, I don't have to think about that. And when it comes to doing the dishes, I don't have to do them, but I've done my dishes. I want you to know I've done dishes every night when she's been gone. But I don't have to do that because you're not there. You see, see, love is submitting. I have submitted myself to that relationship where there's some things that I'm just not going to do or I am going to do because of that. I'm submitting myself to her. It's sacrificing, not doing what I want to do, but it is doing what is right for her and for for the relationship. It's sanctifying. It is selfless. Notice verse 29. Love is selfless, so men ought to love their wives as their own bodies. Guys, you get thirsty, what do you do? You go get something to drink. You get hungry, what do you do? You eat a bag of potato chips. I mean, we take care of our body. We get tired, what do we do with our body? We put it in bed. What do we do when we're all greasy and grimy? We clean up our body. Our text says men ought to love their wives as their own bodies. Can I say even more than our own bodies? And so when the body needs something, we say, OK, got to do it. And beloved, listen, 1 Peter 5, 7, casting all your care upon him. Now, listen, we should cast all of our care upon him because he want. He cares for us. Beloved, here's our example. So we should cast all of our care upon our wife because we care for her. Do you understand that, beloved? Guys, do you have that? And so we care for her the way that he cares for us. Think of Philippians chapter four. It says, My God shall supply all. I'm going to personalize all of my needs. all of our needs according to his riches and glory. Beloved, that's our example. We are to supply all the needs of our bride, all the needs of our wife, emotional needs, physical needs, financial needs. We're to supply when she needs encouragement, we're to encourage her. When she needs strength, we're to strengthen her. When she needs help, we're to help her. When she needs love, we're to love. It counts no cost, and it does not measure merit. You say, and beloved, it doesn't matter if it's received or rejected. We're still the do right guys, whether it's appreciated or resented. And we are to keep on loving, even if it's not responsive or it's not reciprocal. So it's not my desires, it's not my likes, it's not my opinions, it's not my preferences, but it's her desires, her opinions, her preferences. Look at verse 29. There's no guy that's ever hated his flesh or bod, but we take care of it. We nourish it and cherish it. And so we are to do that with our wines, supply their needs, whatever need is, we're to be there to meet it. And James says, if a guy doesn't supply the needs of his bride, he's worse than an infidel. Cherish it. And the Greek translation of the Hebrew Scriptures in Deuteronomy is like a bird that's making a nest and caring for its nest, sitting on the nest and protect it. And so, guys, you need to get the idea that we're to care for our body. And she is bone of our bone and flesh of our flesh, so we've got to care for her. And so we see that Our love should be a submitting love, sacrificial love, sanctifying love. It should be a selfless love, and then there should be a secure love. Look at verse 31. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and the two should be one flesh. When I married Elizabeth, I said, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death us do part. And through those 33 years, whether good or bad, whatever took place, beloved, it was until death us do part. She was taken to glory. Sometimes I want to ask guys, I say, what part of this do you not understand? Death means until she's gone, until death us do part. When I married Josefina, I have no idea what I said because it was in Spanish. I do, I do. I made her translate it for me before I said it. When we were engaged, she said, she said, here, say this. I said it and she was laughing, her family was laughing. It said, it said something about, and husbands obey your wives in the Lord. I got it corrected before we said the words. But anyway, look at your text. It says we're members of one body, and so it cannot be separated. Listen, one of the great truths is God has chosen to keep us secure in Him. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish. Beloved, when you put your faith and trust in Christ, you will not perish in eternal hell. You have everlasting life. What kind? Everlasting life. That means it begins and it has no ending. And beloved, that's the kind of security your wife needs to go, needs to have. You need to go today and in front of your family today, reach out and take your bride's hand or on your way home in the car and say, kids, Hold up her hand and say, I just want you to know that daddy will never, never, never leave mommy. The security that that will bring. He is our example of his security for us as example. Our text says. We can't be separated from him, and so we can't be separated from our mate. Last book of the Old Testament says God hates divorce. You say, yeah, but I don't care whatever you say. The Bible says God hates divorce, putting away. No, no, no, no. And we're to hate what God hates. Your text says, for this shall a man leave his father and his mother. I think some folks still not got a hold of that. I mean, mom and dad, I love them very much. They're 85 and 86 years of age and but They're not my first priority. Josefina is. Apron strings are cut. A man is to leave his father and mother. Leave, in tense Greek form here, abandon. I mean, it means to break the relationship or the union that once was there. And I still call my mom and dad every couple of days and respect them. But the relationship is different now that I have set up my own home than it was when I was under their authority. Beloved, do you understand that? Kata. And they shall be joined unto his wife. Last year I built a little Harley Davidson bobber. I've been working for a couple of years on another one. And I weld two pieces of metal together. And as I trim it down and cut and I blend those, weld those two together, the iron melts from one side to the other side and it may break somewhere, but it won't break it that well. It's stronger than other parts of the metal. That is exactly the thought here. He should be joined unto his wife, stick together, glued together, cemented together in their marriage relationship. And I want to underscore, beloved, that you understand that the new relationship is stronger than the old relationship because you break ties with mom and dad and you never can break tie with your life, your wife, as long as she's living. That's powerful thought. It is permanent. You can separate from a parent than you should, but you can never separate from a partner. And the reason is because the two are one flesh. One flesh. Bone of my bone. Flesh of my flesh. Genesis 2. And so we are fused together into one identity, into one entity. Love is sacred. Notice verse 32. Your love for your wife is sacred. When I was in Bible college, preparing for ministry, We had a counseling session, and I remember the fact it was taught by our coach at that time. And he said, guys, when you and your wife have physical intimacy, it will be the most sacred moment of your life. And I thought, what? I mean, that doesn't even seem to fit, but beloved. in the purity and the holiness of marriage. It is a sacred moment when a husband gives himself fully to his bride and she gives himself fully to her husband. And, beloved, this is why it's imperative that a young person keeps their purity until that wonderful, glorious moment In purity, they come together in the marriage relationship. It's sacred. It's a picture of Christ in the church. It's a portrait of Christ in the church. And every marriage that struggles, and every marriage that fails, hurts Christ. It breaks the picture of Christ in the church. It's called a mystery. That couldn't be seen in the past, but now presently seen. Mega mystery. I'll say the picture is of Christ in the church and then of our love for our wives. It's mega. It's a mountain of truth. Sometimes we get the idea, the measure of a man is how much money that he can make or how much, how big of a house he can build. or how far up a corporate ladder he can climb. The measure of a man is how many church services he comes to or how much money gives to our new our building fund. The measure of man is he rides a Harley Davidson. Beloved, the measure of man is how much he loves his wife. That's the measure of a man. And it's special. Verse 33. Love is special. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular, individually, love your wife, not someone else's as himself. And so it's very special. Nevertheless, Greek word You know what? It's like the Greek word, that ends it. That ends the discussion. What he said about the marriage relationship and a husband love his wife, I mean, that's it. I mean, there's no way to change it. That's it. Very special. With her being gone to see her family in Mexico a bit, I could have hired someone else to do the dishes. Maybe I should have hired someone else to clean the house. You can hire someone else to do your washing. You can hire someone else to do your ironing. In immorality, you can even hire someone else to meet your intimate physical needs. But beloved, your relationship with your wife is above everything. It is special. It is the treasure that must be treasured of everything else. I need to close. And then it says, and then you will see the reverence she has for you. You say, Pastor Larry, my wife does not respect or reverence me. Guy, I will guarantee you. I'll guarantee you that you're not loving your wife as Christ loved the church. And so what do we see in closing as we move through this text? In closing, we see this review. We see, number one, that love is submitting. We submit to our wife by loving her unconditionally. Number two, we see that love is sacrificing, not doing what we want, but what she wants, what's best for her. Love is sanctifying. So purity and holiness and protecting her from bad thoughts. Love is selfless. Love is secure. Beloved, she needs to know. But until the day she breathes her last breath, that you're going to just pour out your love. And even if she goes through a time where she's emotionally struggling or where she needs to know that you're not going to leave her or forsake you. Because Jesus said that about us. Love is secure. Love is sacred. That's why he said, Thou shalt not commit adultery. Love is special. You may love your house. You may love your job. You may love your hobby. But beloved, that which you love most on this earth needs to be your bride, needs to be your wife. It's special. Yes, all the guys and also even the boys, all the boys and men to stand, please. Father, it's humbling as a man to stand with these men. Help us to get a handle and grasp and get a hold on these principles and love our wives biblically in these seven areas. We pray for young men that are standing and boys that are not married. We pray you give them godly mates and may they die to self. and love them until you return or take us to be with you. Father, we commit the marriages, these men and these future marriages of the boys to you. Father, we pray that would be a testament to the truth of your love for the church. Thank you for challenging my heart and the heart of each of us men today. In Jesus name we pray. Amen. You can rest if you can stand, please. There will be counselors for the. And the deacons at the wall, if we can pray with you or help you in any way, it would be we would be honored to do that. And I trust that. Take the truth, so the text was special to my own heart, to your heart, And God will strengthen our marriages for His honor and for His glory. And all God's people said, Amen.