That sounds about right. You know, we use those cliches a lot about preaching. You know, we're going to turn the preacher loose. You know, we're going to sick the preacher on you, you know. Makes us sound like a rabid animal. And most of the time, that is what we look like by the time we do get there. I mean, he prophesied. I'm not kidding. I just told somebody that if it doesn't go well, I got my wife with me tonight, so I'll turn her loose. She's a much better preacher than I am. Matter of fact, she is speaking at the Little Ivy meeting there in the couple's marriage conference. And so she does a whole lot better. So I just drive her around meetings that she preaches. But I'm thrilled to be here. I have thoroughly enjoyed coming to these meetings. I enjoy getting to teach and spend time with young people. That is in my heart, and I'm very thankful for that. But I love these kind of meetings, the home, the family. We don't have a perfect marriage, by no means. We could if I wasn't in it. If I want anyone to have a marriage, what about that? But we have a really good time. And our children, they've grown up in the ministry and around the good things of God. We don't have perfect kids. If you came tonight trying to figure out how to have a perfect marriage or perfect kids, probably at the wrong meeting. But if you came in tonight and said, Lord, we need some help with this outfit, you're probably at the right place. Somebody say amen right there. I do wanna make this, Miss Chris handed me this, and so I need to give you a few things before we get into our message. So Miss Chris wanted me to give you the rules, okay? How many of you are unmarried? You're not married. Raise your hand tonight. Raise your hand. You're not married. Okay. So that's good. You really need to get a hold of this. Some of these men, these senior men that have a little bit of gray, a little bit of white, they've already got this nailed down. But I'm going to help the rest of us. Okay. You ready? Ready. Here we go. Number one, the female always makes the rules. Okay. Number two, the rules are subject to change without notice. Number three, no male could possibly know all the rules. Get this now. Number four, if the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some of the rules. Let's go and get an altar call, right? I mean, I think this will probably... Okay, number five, the female is never wrong. You're just scared to death. You don't know the laugh. You don't know. You don't know where we're going with this. All right. Number six, if it appears the female is wrong, it is because of a large misunderstanding caused by something the male did or said wrong. Or thought. Thank you, preacher. Number six, if rule number six applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding. Number eight, the female can change her mind at any time. Again, people are just scared to death. Do I laugh? Do I? I don't know what I do. Number nine, the male must never change his mind without written express consent of the female. Number 10, the female has every right to be angry or upset at any time. The male must remain calm at all times unless the female wants him to be angry or upset. Why don't you matter about that? The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset. Number 13. We're at 16. I'm about done. The male is expected to read the mind of the female at all times. We're about to have a revival tonight. First time it's about to break out. Number 14, at all times what is important is what the female meant, not what she said. Am I saying it right, Ms. Chris? Number 15, if the male does not abide by the rules, it is because he can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a wimp. If the male at any time believes he is right, he must refer to rule number five, which is the female is never wrong. All right, so we have copies of that out, and we'll sign those. Ms. Chris will sign those. Did I say it all right, sis? All right, just making sure. Again, I'm thrilled to be here and very thankful for the goodness of the Lord in my life. My wife and I got saved at 14. She got saved, you were 16, is that correct? 17. Two years later, we got saved at the same youth camp. We went to high school together. We kind of ran in different crowds because she was cool and pretty and I was not. I come from a generation where if you were going to be a preacher, you had to be, we were a little bit on the nerdy side instead of the cool side. Now this preacher is a little bit cooler. I was a much more nerdier back in that day. Believe it or not, all right? But she got saved. I was at the youth camp and we immediately began talking and courting and dating. I thought, praise God. The captain of the cheerleading squad got saved and the homecoming queen got saved. But I thought, now Lord, you've saved her, but it's going to take a miracle to get her to fall in love with me. And then lo and behold, the Lord let me have her. Praise God. And so we started courting. When we got married, I was 19, she was 20. I was a spoiled mama's boy. She was a daddy's girl. And so because of that, we got married and the Lord moved us about an hour and a half from everybody. She could not get mad and leave me because she didn't know where we were. And so that's right. And so we, I honestly, my wife and I, we had to grow up together. Believe it or not, I am an adult, but we had to grow up together. And that was the goodness of the Lord. And we had to learn at a very young age to depend on the Lord and to just learn how to work problems out. When I was trying to chase a mouse, and missed the mouse and busted cans of Sprite underneath our countertops and made a horrible mess trying to be macho when I really wanted to run from the mouse myself. We even worked through things like that. I remember, now you ready? Oh, here it is now. And I know somebody can go further back. I remember when the Wendy's dollar menu was a dollar, okay? And me and Wheezy, okay, her middle name is Louise, and so I refer to her as Wheezy, not because she, well, she did have asthma, but that's not why I call her that. It's not like a terrible joke. But I grew up watching the Jeffersons, okay? And so anyway, so I mean, me and I started calling her Wheezy, all right? And so you may put me in the back. I'm going to have to go to the back, all right? Yeah, that's right, we'll send her back, we'll send her out. But the Lord, we just had to learn, we had to learn to trust in God, and grew up together, and raised us, and so I'm very thankful for that. Here in Ecclesiastes, I wanna get to verse number eight, down to verse number 12, I wanna read the verses, and just give you some thoughts here. I would like to have came in and preached a familiar message on the home tonight, I really would have, but God just really started putting some fresh things in my heart over today. And so I pray it'll be a help and a blessing to us. All right. Ecclesiastes chapter number 4. Let me begin reading verse 8 down to verse number 12. And I do want to help you if you're married or pursuing marriage, whatever stage you're in. We're going to ask the Lord to help us. All right. Look at verse number 8. The Bible said, And there's not a second. Yea, he hath neither child nor brother. Yet is there no end of all his labor? Neither is his eye satisfied with riches. Neither saith he, for whom do I labor and bereave my soul of good? This is also vanity. Yea, it is a sore travail. And this is a familiar verse. Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow, but woe to him that is alone when he falleth, for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat, but how can one warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him, and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. So a great passage of scripture that is going to deal with the benefits of not being alone, dealing with the benefits of being together. And I want to deal with that tonight better together. If you walk through the text, I think you can make many applications. You can talk about family. You can talk about friendships. But there are some phrases in here that interchange out. Let us know he's not just talking about family and friends. He is referring to our spouse. And so when we look at this passage of scripture, I think it's giving the implication of the bonds that God forms that God intends us to be better together. Now this may be my carnal mind here, but I was thinking about there are some things that are good by themselves, but they are a whole lot better together. For example, peanut butter is a wonderful thing. I love peanut butter. I eat it on a spoon and whatever it is, I love peanut butter. But somebody had the great idea to put peanut butter with jelly and we really got to hold something good right there. Say Amen. When I think about this, macaroni is great, but everybody loves macaroni. I mean, macaroni is good, but it's better when you put cheese with it. Then there's great duos. I think about Andy and then his sidekick, Barney. When you think about one or the other. What about, you think about Bill and Hillary? No, that's not a good example. All right. So here at the church, even when you think about the church, you think about Brother Doug and you think about Miss Chris. When we're viewed that way, when we're viewed that way, and I believe we ought to be, God puts us together, God makes us one. And because of the work of God, I should forever be better with my wife than I am without my wife. You should be better with your husband than you are without your husband. To those of you that are not at that age yet, you're a child, you're a teenager at home. It should be that we are in fact better together than we are apart. It should always be said that. I don't want to be Miss Crystal and I on Saturday. We'll be married 23 years. What about that? Now if you'd have had me come in here 10 years ago, I would have told you everything you needed to know about marriage and raising children. But could I say this? I know less tonight than I feel like I know when I started, but I am enjoying the journey. Somebody say amen right there. And so we ought to be better together. I want you to just get that far. We'll get to that in just a minute. If we are going to be better together, I've got to learn something about a spirit-filled life. I was just meditating on this. You know, your home has a, just like the believer has a carnal man and a spiritual man, your home has a spiritual man and a carnal man. I would love to say that we are always spiritual, but we ain't arrived just yet. Somebody help me now. There are days when everything goes well and we're going through the house and singing Jesus Loves Me and we're quoting verses and that kind of stuff. And then there are days we feel like we need to go soul winning at our own house. But the truth is, by the help of the Lord, it should be, and I want to try to drive this in, that even on those days, God intends us to be better together. As a matter of fact, the longer we're married, the closer we grow, and there is this desire to do things together even more. As a matter of fact, when I do things now, I have good friends, and I've got good preacher friends, but there's nobody I would rather be with than with my wife. It should be that. That's natural. If you're around work and people are planning different things and they complain about their marriage and they're like, Lord, I wish I could get a break from this. Man, you ought to raise your hand toward heaven and say, Lord, thank you for what you gave me in my home and my family that I'm not looking to get away, but I'm looking to stay and to build better what I have. Some of you young people don't realize just how good God's been to you. Yes, you've got a roof over your head, you've got a nice bed to sit, and those things are wonderful, but the fact that you have a Christian home and your parents are together, you ought to raise your hand toward heaven and say, Lord, thank you for what you've given me, and enjoy the good blessings of God. As a matter of fact, there are probably some people here that you didn't grow up in a Christian home, and you didn't grow up around this kind of atmosphere, but yet because of Jesus, your children don't have to know anything about that old life in the way that you're raised. And I say, hallelujah. And so God's building that. So then let me give you this. Anybody involved in your life should always know that you and your husband, your wife, your family, you're a package deal. Okay, if you don't get nothing, I want you to get that. In other words, you can't get one or love one or have a bond with one and not have a bond with the other. For example, oh help me Lord, if I were to, Brother Aaron is back here and I said, Brother Aaron, I sure do love fellowshipping with you and we're planning to go out. Brother Aaron, if you don't mind, if you could leave your wife at home, she is an aggravating lady. You know, she just knows everything. She's so loud and boisterous. You know, and of course, she's none of that. But if we were to do that, then Brother Aaron should take offense and say, hey, wait a minute. You and I can't be close if you've got off against my better half. Say amen, Rapte. And too many times, so that way, that mentality is, I don't let anything come in between us. As a matter of fact, young people, you got to be careful about people coming into your life that always want to pull you away and tear your parents down in front of you. You should mark them. You should mark those who are always trying to divide. I'm glad the Lord Jesus Christ said it like that. To love Him means I've got to love Him. I've got to love the body of Christ. I've got to love His bride. I love other people. And so that ought to be the same mentality that we have toward one another and those who are trying to get into our family. All right, now watch this. So here in the book of Ecclesiastes, we're going to see a lesson about God putting people together for a purpose. And to the unmarried and the youth, I want to try to mold, ready? I want to try to mold some right expectations into your life. Now let me say, if you're, is anybody engaged to be married yet? Do we have any engaged couples here? Just checking around. Okay, all right. So that means we're doing pretty good. Everybody's married. Wonderful. All right. But I find this, Brother Doug, that it seems like that we have a lot of people out of our good churches that are getting married that have the wrong expectation about what marriage is. Now, there's reason behind that. Sometimes it is because all they've done is watch Hollywood. They've got their idea of marriage about Hollywood. And the problem is, you see how the movie turned out, but then it goes off, and you don't see the mess that would go on behind that. Sometimes our idea of marriage is molded by that family member who may be the loudest, but they're on about their fourth or fifth marriage, but it's amazingly enough, they have the best marriage advice to give out. It's kind of like taking mechanic advice from the guy in the yard who's got 14 cars broke down. It's like a used car lot out there. And so, getting the right expectation is such a key in life to what God's doing and what God's making. So when I do marriage counseling, but pre-marriage counseling, I asked him, I said, give me your expectation. And I had a guy come back in and he said, I just expect her to, you know, have supper on the table when I get home. I thought, well, that's okay. But is that all you want out of your wife? Is that all you expect marriage to be? How many ladies would love to have the only responsibility, I mean the only, just to have supper on the table? Somebody help me right there. But it's a whole lot more than that. And so this verse gives us some good expectation. Now, let's walk through our text to get to our point and then we'll go eat here in just a little bit. I'll be done shortly. Look at verse number 8. Look at verse 8. So first of all, better together, he's going to give us the first thing. He's going to deal with balance and fulfillment. The Bible said in verse number 8, there is one alone And there is not a second. Yea, hath neither child nor brother. Yet is there no end of all his labor, neither is his eye satisfied with riches. So now he's talking about him being alone and there is warnings all throughout the word of God about being by yourself. What about that? There is a warning beginning with Joseph. The Bible said in Proverbs, in the multitude of counselors, there's safety. And so there is a dangerous thing. When I am with my spouse, I have accountability for what I'm doing and where I'm at at all times. And that is a benefit. Because I want to be clean and I want to be right. You're heading for trouble if you start trying to do things behind their back. and have these secret plans that are being made there, and the devil will use that to drive a wedge between you and your spouse. Young people, you don't need as much alone time as you think you do. Now, I realize this. We need that. I'm not talking about our time with God. I'm not talking about spending time. I'm talking about getting off by ourselves, opening ourselves up to temptations, when the truth of it is, if I were to have my wife with me where we're supposed to be, If I'm with my family, then we're helping each other to keep our life clean for the honor of the Lord Jesus Christ. We're not living all these different lives, okay? So he dealt with being alone. He deals with balance and fulfillment, learning that. Can I say this? I believe God desires our marriage and our home to be a place of fulfillment. It might not be a perfect place, but I'm glad and I honestly, Lord knows my heart, I'm glad to have a little piece of heaven on earth while I'm on my way to heaven when I walk through those doors. I love being at home. When I get through preaching a meeting somewhere, if I can get to the house that night, I'm going to the house. Amen. There's never been a hotel room nicer than getting back home to Wheezy. Amen. I mean, it ought to be that. And sometimes if we're not careful, we're looking for satisfaction in other places and we're missing the fact that God gave us something wonderful in our marriage and our family. And so God says, don't try to get satisfaction out there. You invest and build into your home and make your home the place where you're satisfied and you're fulfilled. So verse number eight, he deals with this thing about sorrow, all right? A matter of fact, we're talking about being alone. Think about this. As a matter of fact, when God looked at Adam, the Bible said he looked at him. There was no help meet for him. He was alone. So him being alone was one of the things that, for one of the reasons that God gave Adam a wife. He looked down and he didn't have anybody spending his money, didn't have anybody telling him how to drive. Somebody help me. And so God made a woman. Might need to give another altar call right there, amen. But God looks at it, it's not good. And that man needs somebody. He saw a poor man and says, he can't match. How many of you do this? Before you go out, you go over to your wife and say, how's this look? You're checking it to match. But here's what I do, Mr. Chris. When she's looking, I make sure I give her one of them right there. How's this look, darling? Does it look as good? I mean, I got her attention, I got to take advantage of it, ain't I? So it deals with being together for fulfillment. Verse number 9, look at this. Now they're better together in labors. Verse number 9, the Bible said two are better than one. Two are better than one, great statement, because they have a good reward for their labor. Immediately we recognize the need for work in the home and the need for work outside the home and the joy of working together in the home. As a matter of fact, I find that when we have some unity together, there is a fulfillment that comes from doing the work of God that comes from nothing else. And when I think about that labor and that reward, I want my children to be fulfilled in working for the Lord Jesus Christ. I want them to experience that. And I remember some of the happiest times growing up with my family is when we were serving God together. I enjoy singing with my family. About 90% of the time, I throw them off key. Anybody else? Oh, yeah. You know, I'm the only person who ever got voted out of his own family singing group. I said, okay, I'm going to start another one. We're going to be the dividers. And, you know, and that's great. Yesterday at our church, we did something, I don't know, I have not recovered from it yet. Yesterday we had, we were at a youth meeting late, was preaching up on the side of Marion, and we got in late with our young people, and so I didn't plan this out right, but we kept our teenagers with us all day at church yesterday. You know what that means? It means I didn't get no nap. We kept them all day, honestly. So we played some games, we had some activities, and if you're just feeling froggy, I say jump out, ask your pastor if you can keep them all day and just see how you're doing. Amen. I went home last night, and I have one of my kids here, and I don't mind that, my oldest daughter Lydia. But Mr. Chris, when I went home last night, I put it on my head, we had people that helped us. But I could not have done that yesterday without my wife and without my kids helping me yesterday. And I'm telling you that was more fulfilling and more rewarding than if my son had won a championship Or if my daughter was the most popular girl in Greenville, and I want them to be successful, and I want God to bless their life, but if I teach them success, and I teach them how to make money, and that's great, but if somewhere I don't help cultivate a desire to do the work of God, I have missed this thing. But not only have I missed something for them, I've caused my entire family to miss out on the joy of serving God together. There comes some time to say, well, if I go down there, I'm going to hinder it. No. Grab that little family up and realize we do have problems. We're not perfect. But if God will help us, we're going to back our church. We're going to back our pastor. If we had, if somebody said, well I ain't gonna go to church, I ain't gonna go in fussing and fighting. Everybody's gone to church fussing and fighting before. Join the crowd, come on in. Just don't point out, don't point them out, don't give one of them testimonies. I just want to thank God we made it, because I'm going to tell you, we was fighting all morning, and my wife, and don't give one of them, because your kids already did it in Sunday school, so you know that's going to save you time. I mean, you know, But just say, hey, together we're going to church. Together we're going to go on visitation. Together we're going to help the youth department. Together we're going to go feed a family. I mean, just give. Because here's what he's saying. If you'll do that together, God said, I want you to enjoy the reward together. And every honest person in here would have to say they would not be what they are without the spouse that God gave them. My goodness, you talk about, thank God for, thank God, listen man, you know this. If you're in a ministry, you can't do what we do without our wife. Amen goes right there. But it's not just about the men in the ministry. It's in every home. Lord, help us never to take for granted what God has given us. Those things can change in such a moment. Thank God. When you got off work, man, I'm about to have a spell tonight. When your day closes, you're not looking to go down to Joe's pool hall to hang out with the boys. You're heading home to mama. Say amen and shout to victory and walk in and say, honey, you a whole lot better than anything out there. Praise God. And just have a little honeymoon at the house. You're welcome. Praise the Lord. All right. Together makes the labor better. Notice, look at verse number 10. Verse number 10, for if they fall, here it is. If they fall, if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow. Woe to him that is alone when he falleth, for he hath not another to help him up." There's a couple of things I noticed better together in our failures. Anybody failed along the way? Man. Again, we didn't come because we don't have any faults. We got here tonight because we know that we are leaky vessels and we need the God of heaven to help us. Everybody has problems, but here's the difference. You ready? Here's the difference tonight, believer. Everybody's got problems, but we face them with Jesus. Listen, I've been amazed. I have been amazed. I'm 42, right? Thank you, Weezy. 42, in May I'll be 43. When I grew up in the ministry, my dad's a pastor. We hung out with the Lord a couple years ago. And it's what I've been amazed by, preacher. I have been amazed, in that time frame of being in ministry, I have been amazed at some of the things that when people would just let God do it, I've been amazed at the things that God has brought people through. And you think, we ain't gonna make it. Listen, there's been storms and battles you faced. There's things you didn't handle right. There's things if you could go back. But here the truth of it is, God is faithful. He is blessed not because of me, but in spite of me. And when those times come, He reminds us that God put you together to help even in the areas that we fail. Our marriage is only as strong as we both are. It didn't work. Listen, no one person is spiritual enough for two people. My husband is a giant of the faith. And that's wonderful. But it doesn't matter how spiritual he is. His spirituality is not going to make you spiritual. Your wife may be as spiritual as Joyce Meyer. And if you are, you're in trouble. I promise you, you don't run the house. But she may be a spiritual giant. I mean she I mean and just a pillar, but here's the truth, sir It doesn't matter how spiritual she is. Her spirituality is not going to make you spiritual Young people you may have some great parents that love God But I'm telling you it's up to you to pull your way and carry your spirituality and say Lord I know I've got some weaknesses, but I want you to help me and you think about this a matter of fact when God looks at us and I can't go in all this when God looks at us he sees one flesh and He said, look, he didn't see no more twang. He said, I see one. Here just a few months ago, Mr. Beck and Brother Trent got married. I've been a lot of Wednesday. I don't know if I was just emotional that day. I don't know what it was I don't know if I hadn't had enough coffee. I don't know what but I cried through her wedding. They got all tore up Paper Papa thought I was mad or I don't know what they thought I was just upset and crying and everything else beautiful a beautiful thing there All right, and but that God it's no longer brother Trent. It's not just brother Trent and it's not just miss Becca God made one So now, and I know they ain't been married long enough to ever get mad at each other yet. Say amen right there, Becca. Cut you a lap right there. Woo! But sometimes if we're not careful, we'll view our spouse as, well, I'm doing good and they're not. But that's not what God says. When God looks, he doesn't say, well, you're doing good and she's not. God says, no, y'all, you, y'all are not doing good. Right? dwell with them according to knowledge. That means I get under there and I got to learn that load and help them. And what that will do, me getting in there and working on failures and problems, it keeps me from being a Pharisee at my own house. Because we all have our doctorates in pointing out problems. We're all good at that. Well, our home would be spiritual if it weren't for you. Our home, we'd have some peace if your mama wouldn't come back and whatever you throw out there. But the truth of it is, there's failures and there's problems. But if they're going to get fixed, guess who's got to get in there and go to work? We do. Now, I know y'all don't, at our house, me and Weezy, we don't fuss or fight. But we have had some strong discussion. Strong discussion, right? And kind of where we are, you know, when we moved into the metropolis of Conestee, South Carolina. Man, we can't, we can't, we can't, yeah, uptown. We can't, if we want to get out in the yard and have a knock down drag out, the whole church is going to know it. I mean, it's, I mean, they're all around us. And, but listen, you're going to have them. But I'm telling you, let God get in the middle, don't just let it be you and her, or you and the kids. Let God get in that thing, and let God help you work through that, so that that big failure doesn't have to become a destructive thing in your Christian life. Alright? Let me give you this. Verse number 10, better for encouragement. Well, I'm telling you, this is one point that I really wanted to drive in. Look at verse number 10, encouragement. But woe to him that is alone, he falleth, for he hath not another to help him. Now let me give you this, we're better together for ways of encouragement. Nothing is more powerful in our message, in our marriage, and in our family than our words, especially encouraging words. We like to be bragged on. So what I do at our house, man, I'm going to give you some help right here. I mean, I don't believe that, oh, just the dishes, that's the woman's job. That's fine if you don't have that mentality. But our house, every now and then, I like to unload and load the dishwasher. I run things at my house. Let me tell you what I do. I know that Weezy's going to get home. She teaches at our school, and I know she's going to walk in the door about 3.02. So I make sure at about 3 o'clock is when I'm loading that thing. Because I want to hear her say, oh, thank you, honey. Superman. But I like to hear it. We like to hear when she says, oh, I don't know if I still got it or not. She says, oh, you still got it. You look good. We like those things. Okay, but I thought about this. We have a generation today that has forgotten how to communicate. I mean it's on us. We're attached to our cell phones. We text. We do business. We email. We do all of those things. There's nothing that can take the place of just putting all that down and sitting in front of each other and talking and communicating. It's a wonderful thing to do. People, you ready? I'm telling, I know people in their house, I've seen our youth group, I've seen it in our youth group. We're going somewhere, sitting around, and instead of telling the person to people over, they'll pull the phone out and text them. Get that text. Talk, you know. So we used to say, you know, when I was a youth kid, I was like, man, I can't get that crowd to be quiet. And now we can't get that crowd to put their phones up. So that's the battle that we have in our day. But I'm telling you, that has forgotten how to, you ought to have times where you're not communicating by cell phone and technology is not dictating, but you just put everything aside and just talk. You remember when there was a time in your marriage where you were satisfied with just sitting and looking at each other? I love you. Well, I love you. You sure do look pretty. Well, you smell good today. And that was wonderful. And you talk, and now we get married, and sometimes if we're not careful, we'll forget that because we've been out and out. Here's what's important about it. A husband who constantly talks down to or ridicules his wife, she will respond with resentment and lack of effort. Come on now. You know I'm right. And Lord help me never to talk to anybody better than I've talked to my wife. Lord help me to never address a lady with respect and then disrespect the wife that God gave me. That works both ways. A wife who is constantly harshly will cause her husband to retreat and may never come out of that shell. Somebody say, well, I just don't know why they don't talk any different. We get in this pattern of criticism, criticism, criticism. You don't build a better man by criticism. You build a better man by encouraging. Come here. You build a better wife not by criticism but by encouraging. You say, I don't believe that. Try it. You try and tell me if Valentine's Day, you don't get something better on Valentine's Day than you got last year. I'm just telling you, you trust me on that thing. You trust, I heard somebody say, wow, bless God, I don't celebrate Valentine's, that's a pagan holiday. I know it is. But you go ahead and go get your wife something, see how that works out. Come on now. All right? You and I have the ability to build a better spouse just by edifying one another. You have the ability to build better children by edifying. All of us have looked at our kids, raised our voice, and said, what are you doing? We've all looked at them and said, you act just like your mama's side of the family. But you know this, and that anger and frustration, Some say, Brother Doug may have to straighten all this out when I get done, but somebody said, don't whoop your kids when you're angry. And I heard one guy say, well, what kind of weirdo whoops his kids when he's in a good mood? It's a great day. Get over here, boy. Wham, hallelujah. What kind of weirdo are you? Save a little bit of anger. Save a little bit. We're all about having war. Say amen right there. Okay, now here's the key. Here's the key to building up. Ready? This is key. Don't ignore the compliments. Don't ignore the effort. And sometimes we can get critical of ourselves. He's trying to build you. You're trying to build her. Don't ignore that, but respond to that with thank you. Acknowledge that. There it is, that's communicating again. Look at verse number 11. I wanna hit this very briefly, but you're not gonna, here's the thing about verse 11. There may be friends and friendships and things, but you don't get to verse number 11 and not realize it's talking about husband and wife, talking about marriage, okay? All right, in verse 11, if two lie together, they have heat, but how can one be warm alone? And here's what I wanna say about it. You have to be careful about coldness. in our marriage. You'd be amazed at how many people went to church yesterday and their family hadn't spoke a word all week. And so that poor preacher had to try to get and have, we're trying to, it's time to worship now, and that family hadn't, and that coldness sets in. You know what happens? Coldness spreads. Okay? We have to be careful of the word coldness in our marriage, cold responses, cold feet. Anybody ever got run out of the bed by some cold feet? Say amen right there. That's about as sinful as about anything I can preach on tonight. I don't know. I'm convinced. I'm convinced Weezy sometimes, I don't know why it's an odd hobby. I'm convinced sometimes she goes and sticks her feet in ice. And they say, let me just see if I can get my feet 17 degrees below zero and then put them right on his back. Warm them up, darling. That has nothing to do with the message, but it happens. It fits. Now here's the key about verse 11. Remember this. Our marriage is designed to be a place where all our needs are met. You'll talk about that. It's a place where we come together, a place of satisfaction, a place of joy, a place where needs are met. We know the divorce rate. We know the adultery rate. We know how the rates of pornography are climbing in America. at alarming rates. It used to be, it used to be just something that men did in private and look at those things. But we're in a day and hour where it's growing the amount of women. It's accessible. The devil puts things out there. I'm not going in detail, but it blows my mind the amount of men and young men that have to get counseling dealing with pornography in independent, fundamental, premillennial Baptist churches. And those are things that God designed that home to be on the lookout. Because we go to our home and our home is to be that place where we're finding everything that is needed and required and given to us by God. That is why I want to keep investing in my home and investing in my marriage and investing in my children. Because the more you invest in, the more you get to draw out. You say, well things are hard and things are difficult. Well just hang in there. One day you'll have some grandkids and then all the problems will be over. No. Look at verse number 12. You ready? Battling for adversity. I didn't ask Patrick how long. I'm going to be done here in just a few minutes. Look at verse 12. Verse 12. If one prevail against him, two shall withstand him, and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Better together heart and mindset will help us battle the enemies in and outside of our home. especially the enemy of just taking each other for granted. Just, well, they're going to be there and I don't have to take time for them today. You know, one of the most valuable things you can give somebody is your time. I don't have to stop. I don't have to have that conversation. I don't have to do that. And sometimes when you're trying to divide that out, I need to give my husband the right amount of time, my wife, my kids, my church, all those kinds of things. The only way to do that is if you're making sure you make time for him. You have a lot on you. How many of you moms homeschool? Man, who homeschool? Well, that's your heart. We did it for a while and finally some things changed and we were involved in some different ministries. I'm telling you, if you homeschool, you don't really have time for a whole lot. Somebody say amen right there. And then you're trying to keep invested in the church and there's all the work and the responsibilities and that can get a little bit overwhelming. You don't get a holiday. Matter of fact, when your kids, all that means is you gotta watch them all day and for them to do whatever. You don't get a paid holiday. Say amen right there. Alright. And so better together. Alright. Not taken for granted. I'm going to tell on myself here. I'm going to tell on myself here. I think this might help us. I remember me and Weezy. We were, we'd gone to a marriage conference. And we were speaking at the marriage conference. And we were getting ready to leave. I mean we're coming home. And I know nobody else, none of the other preachers have done this. Surely, but surely I'm the only bonehead. But we were getting ready to leave. And I just made a little light hearted comment. You know what I did? I'm at the marriage retreat trying to help other people's marriages and I done hurt Weezy's feelings. I preached a meeting the week before and I was rushing in. I was rushing in and I was going to preach that marriage conference and me and her were going to rush home and it was going to be in the pulpit Sunday and then I was heading to a meeting again. You know what I was doing? I was doing a lot of rushing. I was taking for granted that she needed a little bit more time. And if I needed to counsel everything, it would be worth it to make sure I give her her time. Sometimes we just get a little bit too distracted. Let me ask you a question. If I were to ask you tonight, how's your husband doing? How's he doing? Could you answer that question? If I were to ask you, how's your wife, how's she doing, how's she doing, how's she doing with the load she's under, could you answer that? If I were to ask us, and here's the convicting part, if I were to ask you how are you kids doing, could you answer that? And what we're being warned about here is the adversity that comes, whatever the adversity is, then we're better together for it. When I got married, we've got this on our video somewhere, alright, ready? Back when they put weddings on videos. I'm not a guy holding a big old, like a big old, like I had a suitcase, videoed our wedding. Anybody else? And he's got that on him. They come to the back. Brother Roy Goodson, he's in heaven now. Brother Roy helped officiate our wedding. Brother Terry Dietz was preaching the night that, was preaching the night I got saved. Two years later he was preaching the night that my wife got saved. And he did our wedding. And I remember I was back there, I was nervous. I was excited, but I was nervous. And Miss Chris, Brother Roy asked me, he said, what are you excited most about about getting married today? I said, I'm excited about it just being me and her. I'm excited about that. And here's what Roy Goodson told me. He said, Brother Aldridge, he said, when you get married today, he said, you are to never live another day of your life as if she didn't exist. I'm going to be constantly reminded of what God gave me. I'm going to be considerate. And I have to do those things on purpose. Now I'm going to be reminded I'm married. I got one of those eternal wedding bands. Amen right there. You take your wedding band off. But it's a whole lot more than that. If I'm thinking about her, I'm praying for her and I'm helping her fight her own battles. Let me give you these things and I'll be done. Notice this. Let me give you some things that are better together. You ready? Salvation is better together. I don't know hearts here today, but if you don't know the Lord, then I'm praying you get to know the Lord. I'm praying you get saved by the grace of God. It's amazing the difference Christ makes in a home. Every church represented here, you've had people walk through your church doors. And you come in thinking, man, I don't know how they're going to like this. And they're different, and they don't understand anything you do. And probably today, that same family's in the choir, was in the choir yesterday, teaching Sunday school classes, living for God. I'm telling you, Jesus makes all the difference. Salvation's better together. Growing spiritually is better together. I mean, that's exciting. I get excited when my wife comes and says, this is what God's been doing in my life. And then, oh my, what about when one of our children comes to us? And they bring that nugget, that God. You remember the first time when your kids come to you? Remember the first time your little boy came to you and handed you an outline? I got me a message ready, Daddy. Remember that? Remember the first time your little girl brought to you and she'd been reading Mama's devotional books? Say, hey, Mama, I got me a devotion together. Man, those are wonderful things. Keep pouring in, keep growing spiritually, and sometimes that takes us men, that takes us parents driving and pulling and making, oh my, admitting we're wrong in some areas, but grow together spiritually. Don't depend on one to do it all. Ready? Praying together. It's nothing like both of you joining in prayer over something and then seeing God do that. But then, when you're doing all that, make sure you're praying for each other. Nobody knows them better than you do. Pray for them. You know their faults. You know what they're dealing with at work. You know what they're going through. Praying together, serving God together, raising children is better together. Everybody's come different generations, I know that. But I can promise you this, there is no substitute for mama, and there's no substitute for daddy. Give it your best. I remember, you ready, for those of you with small children, I remember that day of liberation when it was time to leave and go somewhere and I didn't have to pack a diaper bag. I thought, great, I can't believe it, honey. I mean, my shoulder's going back in joint. But you know what happened just the moment we quit packing diaper bags, you know what happened? Lydia wants to start driving. Listen, you don't know worry until you pull out that iPhone and you pull up. You ready? Here it is. Find my iPhone and you're watching the little girl drive two miles up the road. You don't know worry yet until you're watching the kids drive somewhere. Somebody say amen right there. Listen, some of y'all, I can't wait for y'all to get married and have youngins just so y'all can see how bad y'all worried us today. Managing money. Somebody say, what money? You know, both of you are kind of circling what money you have, daring the other one to touch it. I saw where you stopped that. What's that Amazon Prime box doing out there in the yard? Are you listening? Aging is better together. Getting older, better together. Facing difficulties and problems is better together. Having fun is better together. Sometimes it does us good not to take ourselves so serious and have a little bit of fun. A couple weeks ago, I did something I knew was going to rile Weezy up. And I did it knowing that it was. I just wanted to see if she still knew how to fight. She did. Now she knows I'm a little bit skittish. I don't watch horror movies. I don't watch anything with suspense. If I watch it, I'm googling the end. I can't take it. My heart won't take it. I start having heart palpitations. I don't care. I can't take it. She gets the greatest joy out of either scaring me, like jumping out behind. She knows, hey! She gets the greatest, or just seeing me when I don't know how something's going to turn out. She'll just get, and she just, ah, it's the greatest thing in the world. Yes! It's just sick to sleep with one eye open. We've been married a month. I'm on the other end of our, and we, I mean, we got married, we lived in a little box. Man, we was so poor we had to put tracks on the wall for decorations. When this maniacal woman, she comes sneaking back, it's dark, it's late at night, I'm in there, just doing nice stuff. And this, I'm in there, just minding my own business. Woo, it scares me half to death. What are you, what in the world? What are you doing? I'll take you back to your daddy. We had some fun. She had fun. If you're both not laughing, it's not fun. Got me? Okay. I see these couples, they put these videos, these couples and they're like, slam this one in the face with a cream pie. No, no, no. That's wicked as a devil right there. Better together. Here's what he said. He said, if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him. We've all heard this. We've heard it preached, it's so often represented in marriage, a three-fold cord is not quickly broken. Better together, both of us are relying on Him. These are some unusual days. Again, I'm 42. I can remember my childhood growing up, the world that I grew up in is not the world my kids are growing up in. But I'm glad I got the same God, same Lord, same Savior. His grace is sufficient. If God brought you this far, He can take care of the rest of the way. Don't let the devil drive a wedge. At our couple's retreat last year, Pawpaw Lockaby and Miss Lockaby, they hadn't been at church in months. One of the last things they were able to do with us before her health got bad, they went on a couple's retreat with us. Pawpaw Lockaby spoke for just a few minutes and he took a wedge out. He started hitting that wedge and he said, don't ever forget, the devil is right now trying to put a wedge He's looking, what happened today that I can bring back up. Where's the weakness at? Where's there some ill will at? And he's looking in the children's lives, he's looking in our marriage, he's looking in our personal lives. He's looking for somewhere to drive a wedge in, to drive us apart. We're gonna make some commitments tonight. Lord, help me, help me. I'm begging you to help us. be better together for your honor and for your glory. Let's bow our heads for just a minute. Brother Doug, I don't know if you normally do an invitation. Let's do an invitation. Let's all stand together for just a few moments. We've had a wonderful time. Great liberty But I do want to take some time to give a little invitation. Maybe if the Lord has touched your heart tonight, folks are already moving, and I'd like to ask you to join them if the Lord has touched your heart tonight. Better together, better together. Make some commitments tonight. Not to grow apart, not to get too busy, not to get too occupied.