Yeah, that's fine. I gotta get my stuff out of here. You're fine. So I have a gift for everybody tonight. And so I'll get that going. And while they're handing that out, then I'll tell you a little bit about us. So if I could have, I need somebody, a young man or young lady, who knows who the couples are in the crowd. Who knows that? Anybody? Like Joseph, do you know that? You don't? OK. All right. So here's what you're going to do. a bunch of coupons in here, and this is on your honor, the husband and the wife, or if you're here with your girlfriend, boyfriend, however that works, you can take one of these, and you have to promise to honor this coupon, okay? And so, for instance, this one says a coffee run. So you can give this to your spouse or your significant other and say, here, I need a cup of coffee. And you've got to run for coffee, right? To the kitchen doesn't count, all right? Here's another one that says, I win this argument. Now, you might want to just save this. for some time, right? And so no peeking in here. You're going to hold this up so they can't really look in it. And then they're going to reach in there and find one. And there is a wild card in here, so you fill in the blank. That might get dangerous. But anyways, you go ahead and pass that out. All right? Two per couple, one for each person. One for each person. Yep, man and wife. Girlfriend, boyfriend. Really? I think that's cheating somehow. All right. So as your pastor said, I'm Devin Dawson, and my wife Jenny, we're in Lodge Grass, Montana. And glad to be there. And yeah, you can give my wife one too, but I got more in the house. So I appreciate your pastor and his wife and their family and everything. So it's a joy to be here this evening. Nice to meet some of you folks. We're going to be, in the, well we're going to be all over the place, but I'm going to start off in Hebrews, Hebrews chapter 11, and I don't know that I'm a very good Very good Valentine's Banquet speaker. Okay. I don't know that That these are always exactly what people are expecting but I do try to think of something and pray about something that's going to be a help to you and a help to all of us and I know that some of you are our Members here. Some of you are visitors some of you are the whole gamut of people. And so I trust that this will be beneficial to you and to everybody here. The title of my message is How to Have a Successful Marriage. But as we get into this, you're going to see that this doesn't just apply to marriage. It applies to all facets of life and all different relationships, and then just even to life in general. Churches have banquets like this and we have different things throughout the year in order to help the family, to help marriages, to strengthen and to encourage and just to be a blessing. And in our day and age, in our society, we need this, don't we? And there's an all-out attack on marriages and the godly examples that we find in scripture for all of those things. So I do appreciate that. We had a little bit of, in the skit this evening, I don't know if I would say marriage advice. There was a little bit of, I think, marriage advice trying to sneak out of that skit. And it's amazing how the single people, I'm not going to call him a dummy, but I do know he's single. He said he wasn't married. How the single people have all kinds of marriage advice. It seems like it's my two single sons who seem to just know everything about marriage. And my one, my youngest son, he says, you know, when I get married, my wife gets mad at me. I'm just going to wrap a towel around her neck, kind of like a cape, and say, there, now you're super mad. And I don't think that's going to diffuse the situation at all. But I don't know. We'll see what happens when it is his turn, right? The philosopher Socrates said, by all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. if you get a bad one, you'll be a philosopher. So, I don't know what that says about Socrates. You can think about that one well. As I began thinking about this message, I wondered where I could find some good marriage advice. I wanted to come in and try to help you. So, I already told you that asking my single sons wasn't the place to go for marriage advice. So, I went where everybody else would go, I went to the Internet. I came across, And so I thought, well, that ought to be a good place to get some marriage advice, right? This is what they had to say on her list. Focus on each other's strengths. Don't expect your partner to complete you. But still, do things together and have fun together. Choose to be attracted to your spouse. Focus on their positives. And it's not only the physical that is attractive. You can focus on some of those things that you just love about your husband or your wife, some of their qualities, and some of their character that is just attractive to you. Laugh with each other. Be kind to one another. Appreciate each other. Men, accept and expect change. Women accept and expect no change. I added that one on there. I thought that was a little more appropriate. I didn't think she had that all exactly right. You know, there's that saying that women get married expecting their husbands to change, and they don't. And men get married expecting that their wives won't change, and they do. And so that's a little. Confusing to some of us. From Purdue University, the researcher John Gottman says that the magic ratio that makes a relationship work is five to one. That is five positive interactions between partners for every negative interaction during a conflict. He says that a stable and happy couple share more positive feelings and actions than negative ones. I thought, wow, that's brilliant, right? If we have more positive than negative, we'll probably be all right. But he's actually got it dialed right in to exactly five to one. That's what's going to keep you stable and happy and all that. Now, some of this is actually pretty good advice. Some of what Oprah said makes good sense, and it probably works out pretty good. But really, that's not the answer. It really isn't. There is a more sure word. and where we can go to find good marriage counseling or marriage advice. When Jenny and I were married, we had to go through, my flowers are getting in the way, we had to go through marriage counseling or pre-marriage counseling or whatever you want to call it. And over the years, there have been a couple of things that have stuck. Over the years, exactly 29 years, it will be this May 15th. And first of all, that was that marriage is not a 50-50 deal. Our pastor told us that marriage is 100% and 100%. You both have to put 100% into it. Because there's going to be times where neither one or the other of you doesn't feel like putting in 100% or can't put in 100% or whatever the case may be. And the other one is just going to have to pick up the ball and is going to have to keep going forward. They're going to have to give 100, 110%, right? And so that stuck with us. Second, our pastor used the, he drew a triangle on a piece of paper. And he said, if you put God at the top of that triangle, and you put one of you on this side and one of you on this side, The closer you grow up the triangle, the closer you get to God, but also the closer you get to each other. I don't know how many hours or times we met and everything, but after all of that, those two things are what stuck to me. Now, I believe this is not only a recipe for a successful marriage, but it's a recipe for a successful life. Every relationship that you will have will be affected by your relationship with God. Hebrews chapter 11 and verse six says, but without faith, it is impossible to please him. For he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them who diligently seek him, right? What is that reward? That reward is finding him. Right? That is the reward. But also, the fruit of walking with God touches every part of our lives. It brings God's blessings. And I believe that there is a literal place of blessing in your life. That is that when you're in that place that God wants you, when you're in that place where you're obedient and you're submitted and you're right where God wants you, in that place, God can bless. In that place, God can work through you and God can use you. If I and my wife are walking daily with the Lord, we will be walking together, won't we? It's just the nature of the game. Proverbs 16 and verse 7 says, when a man's ways please the Lord, he make it even his enemies to be at peace with him. And that's not, I thought that that was just a verse about mother-in-laws. But it turns out that it's not. It applies to all kinds of things in life, right? Jeremiah 29 and verse 13 and 14 says, and you shall seek me and find me when you shall search for me with all your heart. and I will be found of you, saith the Lord. And I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather you from all the nations and from all places whither I have driven you, saith the Lord, and I will bring you again into the place whence I caused you to be carried away captive. Now, that was a prophecy that Jeremiah gave, and it is the, I believe, one of the passages that Daniel was reading when we read about Daniel studying the book of Jeremiah in Daniel 9 and in actually in verse in chapter 9 and he actually actually prays in verse 10, but back in Daniel chapter 9 and verses 3 through 5 The Bible says, and I set my face unto the Lord to seek by prayer and supplications with fasting and sackcloth and ashes. And I prayed unto the Lord my God and made my confession and said, O Lord, the great and dreadful God, keeping the covenant and mercy to them that love him and to them that keep his commandments. We have sinned, and have committed iniquity, and have done wickedly, and have rebelled, even by departing from the precepts and from thy judgments. I didn't go back quite far enough. Up in verse 2, it says, in the first year of his reign, I, Daniel, understood by books the number of the years whereof the word of the Lord came to Jeremiah the prophet. And that provoked Daniel to pray. and to begin praying there, and that prayer continues on and goes all the way down to about verse 19. But this is what provoked Daniel to pray, and this was his response. I set my face unto the Lord God to seek by prayer and supplications with fasting and sackcloth and ashes." Daniel was seeking the Lord. Daniel was grieved in his heart and he wanted to know He wanted to hear from heaven. Daniel chapter 10, again, the Bible says in verses 2 and 3, it says, In those days I, Daniel, was mourning three full weeks. I ate no pleasant bread, neither came flesh nor wine in my mouth, neither did I anoint myself at all till three whole weeks were fulfilled. Daniel needed God. Daniel was distressed about Israel's captivity. Daniel was broken over Israel's sin. And when he was reading there in the book of Jeremiah, and he saw there where it says, and you shall seek me and find me when you shall search for me with all your heart, and I will be found of you. Daniel sought God. And you know what? He found him. Daniel found God. The question for us today is, are we looking for God? Are we truly seeking God? Are we truly desiring to know God? I told my congregation several, I don't know, several different times in the past little while, that God wants you to find him. God wants you to find him. All he asks is that you come. All he asks is that you seek. All he asks is that you devote your full person to finding him. Daniel did that. Sackcloth and ashes and fasting and mourning and in chapter 10 says, for three full weeks. Daniel prayed. For three full weeks, Daniel fasted. For three full weeks, Daniel waited. Now we continue down that chapter and we find out what was detaining God from answering Daniel's question, or Daniel's prayer, and we find out that that God had sent an angel to give him the answer, to reveal God's plan to him, and that angel was detained for three weeks trying to get to Daniel. But I believe that Daniel would have continued until he heard from God. Do we have that kind of dedication? Do we have that kind of desire to know God and know His blessings? Do we have that kind of desire to be in a right relationship to our spouse, and to our friends, and to our coworkers, and to our church, and to whatever the case may be? How are we seeking God? Are we looking for Him? Maybe you're here tonight and you have some trouble in your marriage. Are you looking for God? Maybe you're here tonight and you're having some trouble with some of your children. Are you looking for God? Maybe you're having trouble with a coworker. Are you looking for God? Maybe you're having some trouble at work or in your business or in your home finances or wherever the case may be. Are you seeking God? Are you looking for him? Are you looking for him with all your heart? If you are, you'll find him. If you are, he'll answer. If you are, he'll come and he'll help and he'll bless. In the book of Matthew, chapter six, Jesus is speaking and he is talking about all of those things, he says there in one of the verses, that the Gentiles seek for. What were those things? Well, cash, careers, clothing, cars, castles, curtains, cows. Did you notice a theme down through there? All of these things. Right? The Gentiles, everybody seeks for those things. Everybody seeks for worries about money, worries about finances, worries about all of these different things. And Jesus said, those are the things that the Gentiles seek after. Those are the things that the lost are going after. Those are the things that the whole world is looking for. And then he comes down to verse 33 and says, but seek ye first the kingdom of God. and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you." Now, does that mean that the exact same things that I'm searching for when I'm not right with God, does that mean that God is automatically going to give them to me when I get right with God? It doesn't necessarily mean that, because here's something that's going to happen to you when you get right with God, and when you start to seek God, and when you draw closer to God, and that is that your ambitions and desires and priorities are going to change in your life. And they're going to come into line with what God wants for your life, and then God can give them to you. Right? Because they're His will for your life. When I was a younger man, I would like to say that I'm completely over that. I'm completely over being a young man, but I'm not completely over the flesh. But I had all kinds of desires and dreams and things that I wanted to do, and God got a hold of my heart, and I started to seek him. I find that today that almost none of those things I desired do I have. But I believe that I have exactly what God wants me to have, and I am completely happy with what God has given me. God has given me the desires of my heart, but he gave me the desires of my heart first. He gave me those desires, and then he gave me the fulfillment of those desires. And I am in a place today where I never thought I would be as a 25-year-old man. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Right? And all of these things will be added unto you. Are you looking for God? Now, He's not hiding. He wants you to find Him. Hebrews 11, verse six says that God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. Daniel was diligently seeking the Lord. Daniel wanted God's best. Daniel wanted to hear from God. He wanted God's answer. He wanted to know what God had in store for him and for Israel. And he was willing to go all in and give everything. Proverbs and Jeremiah tell us that if we seek for Him, we will find Him. To the believers here tonight, I want to ask you, are you looking for Him? He's there. Do you have a need? He's there. So why do we not hear from Him? Or why do we think that we don't hear? Well, Maybe you've been praying for a loved one. Maybe you've been praying for your marriage or your kids. Maybe you're concerned with our society today. There's plenty to be concerned with in our society today, in our communities, in different places. I was watching on my phone the other day and I came across this little segment that The Five did on Fox News. And I don't watch Fox News or The Five or anything, but it was on my little YouTube thing. And they were having this conversation that in California the government, and I don't know who specifically it was, but someone in the government has asked citizens to take the homeless off the street and invite them into their homes and give them a place to stay. And if you know a little bit about the situation in San Francisco and some of the cities in California, it's just absolutely a mess. And the government has basically said, we give up. We don't have a solution. You folks just need to take them into your homes. It's craziness. It's craziness. The world and the news gets crazier every day. We can't even make this stuff up. Hollywood can't make this stuff up, right? So why do we not hear from God? What's going on? Well, I think it's because we're not broken. We're not serious. We're not approaching God like Daniel approached God. Another example of this brokenness I came across in scripture is Nehemiah. Nehemiah chapter one in verses four through six. See if this sounds a little bit like Daniel. It says here, and it came to pass when I heard these words that I sat down and wept and mourned certain days and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven. When's the last time we did that? When's the last time that we wept over the condition of our country? When's the last time that we wept over the condition of our marriages and families in this country? When is the last time that we were actually broken and wept over lost souls that needed Christ? When is the last time that we really got serious with God? I know that this message has taken a little bit of a left or a right turn from how to have a successful marriage, but it all goes together. It all goes together. We need to seek God, and we'll find God. The answer to how to have a successful marriage, the answer to how to have a godly community in a country that is going in the right direction, seeking God. That's the bottom line. That is the common denominator. Are you broken over whatever situation you're in? As I look out tonight, I see that it looks like pretty much all of you have everything put together. Your lives are in order, you know exactly, I mean, you're doing everything right, and your kids are perfect, and your marriage is perfect, right? Am I right? That's where you're all at, right? No, none of us are like that, right? I look at this lady right over here, she's got a messed up husband, and she ought to be broken over these things, right? Are we really concerned about the situation we're in? Are you broken over your sin? Are you broken over your lack of brokenness? That's where I usually am. I usually read verses like this or read passages like this, and I get broken over the fact that I'm not broken. I've not prayed like Daniel. I've never, okay, confession, I've never fasted for three weeks. You probably looked at me and said, we figured that out when you first walked in here. I have lots of things in my life that I should be broken over. If we're going to find God, we have to be serious. We have to be diligent. We want to have the kind of marriage that glorifies and honors God and is stable and fulfilling and loving the way God wants it to be, I need to seek Him. If you're here tonight and you're not a believer, you say, well, somebody just invited me here and paid for my ticket and said there's free food there, go, right? God is there. God is there. I don't know where you are in your spiritual journey, but we're all on a spiritual journey. Even if you say, well, I don't really go for that kind of stuff. You're still on a spiritual journey. Life is a spiritual journey. Life is spiritual. We think, well, I can't touch it or see it or whatever, then I don't believe it. No, we're all on a spiritual journey. What you need to know is that God is there and he's waiting. Waiting for you to recognize that you need him. Waiting for you to recognize that you're a sinner and you need a savior. Romans chapter three and verse 23 says that, all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. Romans chapter six and verse 23 says, for the wages of sin is death. Wait a minute. We've all sinned and the wages or payment of sin is death? That doesn't sound good at all, right? You need Jesus, right? Because he is the only way. John 14 verse 6 says, Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man cometh unto the Father but by me. Acts 4 verse 12 says, neither is there salvation in any other, for there is none other name under heaven given among men whereby we must be saved. The continuation of Romans 6 in verse 23 starts out this way, for the wages of sin is death. But it finishes this way, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. He's waiting. If you'll seek him today, you will find him. God is not this elusive thought out there somewhere that we can't grasp. No, he is a person. who if you will seek him, you will find him. The question is, are you looking for him? Call out to him today. Romans 10 and verse 13 says, for whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. James 4.10 says, humble yourself in the sight of the Lord and he shall lift you up. If you're here today and you don't know the Lord Jesus Christ is your Savior, but you recognize that you're a sinner, and you recognize that you need a Savior, the Bible says all we have to do is call out to Him. Seek Him, and you will find Him. So how do we have a successful marriage? Well, the same way that we are successful in any other endeavor, seek God. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you. But without faith it is impossible to please him. For he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. Are you looking? He's there. He's there. That's his promise to you and to me. If you'll seek me with your whole heart, you will find me. He's not hiding. He wants you to know him. He wants you to find him. He's not trying to throw obstacles in your way, necessarily. But he wants you to seek him. He wants you to look. He wants you to be determined. He wrote a book that you might find him. and he listens to everyone who prays for him. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, as I come to you this evening, Lord, I'm so thankful for your love for us. I'm so thankful for your goodness. Lord, I'm so thankful that if we will call out to you, you'll answer us. If we'll humble ourselves in your sight, then you will lift us up. If we have trouble in our marriage, And we will both seek your face. You'll give us what we need to get through that. You'll bring us closer together. Whatever situation in life, the answer is to seek your face. Lord, I thank you so very much for all that you've done for me and for my family and for my wife. Lord, I thank you for this church. I thank you for the Firsts and their family. Thank you for each one who's here tonight. Lord, I just pray that you would speak to our hearts. And Lord, if there's anything in our lives that we might take it to you, that we might seek you with our whole heart, that we might get broken, that we might weep, that we might fast, that we might pray, that we might get serious about these needs that we have. And Lord, I pray that you'd just speak to us tonight. Lord, if there's anyone here tonight who doesn't know you as their Savior, Lord, I pray that tonight would be the night that you'd reveal yourself to that person, that they would seek you with their whole heart. And Lord, I thank you for all that you've done. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen. I'm going to invite your pastor to come up and close us.