Just as you think about some of the things of love in marriage, tomorrow's Valentine's Day. A day of many times sappy love, puppy love, and all sorts of things. But when the reality hits, the sappiness goes away and the puppy love goes away. And we're left with sometimes pieces of what was, we thought, was an endearing relationship. And this morning, as I was dealing in Ephesians chapter 5, I'd like you to turn with me there to Ephesians chapter 5 if you have your Bible. God gives us the proper means and the proper foundation for marriage. In Ephesians chapter 5 verse 18, Ephesians 5.18, It states, and be not drunk with wine wherein is excess, but be filled with the Spirit. And as I stated this morning, the word filled there is a present imperative passive in the grammar. It is imperative, and that is at a command. It is passive in the fact that I'm allowing God to fill me. I'm allowing God to control me. That word filled there has the idea that I'm allowing God to dictate my mind, emotions, and will. That filled there is be filled with the spirit and it talks about speaking yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs and Singing making melody in your heart to the lord. There's a complete order. There's a complete God is orchestrating your mind That god is in control of your mind emotions and will and that filling of the spirit is the fact that i'm allowing god all the use of my body Then it says in verse 21, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of the Lord, the fear of God, excuse me. Again, the word submitting is a participle that is going back and it's modifying the verb filled. But it is again still a passive tense. So I'm allowing myself to be humble with others, essentially. The word submitting there. And so the truth is, before I get to the passage here about wives submitting and husbands loving, we have the foundation of a spirit-filled Christian. This is from which we are to engage in a godly marriage. We'll look at these truths tonight. We started it this morning. I want to continue that. I trust, Lord willing, I may be able to complete what I had started this morning. If not, I will have to complete it in two weeks, and I may come back. I'm praying about coming back to this and speaking about the truths here about Christ and the church, and I didn't have time for the sake of material that I had to deal with that topic. But let's go to the Lord and ask for his blessing upon this time, and then we'll look at the scriptures here in Ephesians chapter 5. As I began to really study this out, in light of verse 18 through 21, it sheds a completely different light upon marriage from God's perspective. And so let's look at that, and let's go to the Lord and ask for his blessing, and that he would help us to understand these truths. Let's pray. Dear Heavenly Father, God, I come before you tonight to preach your word. And Father, I thank you for the privilege to do such. Lord, I thank you for the opportunity to be your ambassador. To stand behind a pulpit and preach to others, Lord, is a great privilege. It's not a right, it's a privilege. And Lord, I'm thankful for it. Father, I pray that you would guide my thoughts and my lips and the illustrations and everything that is stated that the truths that are expounded, Father, would be understandable. And Lord, that they would be of you. And Lord, I pray in our lives that we would respond as you direct us and as you guide us. Father, we all need you. Lord, should there be anyone watching that does not know you as their personal Savior, Father, I pray that tonight they would surrender their will, repent, and ask Jesus to forgive them of their sins, trusting exclusively in your death, burial, and resurrection. Father, as I deal with marriage and something that can be a very hot button and sometimes seen as chauvinistic, Lord, I pray that I would teach it from a biblical perspective wherein the truths would be clearly understood. And so God, I just ask, I commit this time to Thee, asking You to do as you desire. I love you and I'll be your yielded vessel this hour. May you be glorified in Jesus' precious name, I pray. Amen. We dealt, again, as I stated this morning, the condition of our relationship to the Lord is being filled. I need to be under, as I stated, this water bottle. If I'm kind of like this water bottle and I say, God, you're not taking the lid off to fill me up. You can't control me. God's desire is I take the lid off and I say, fill me up with whatever you want me to do. God, I'm willing to do all that you call me to do. You are either submitted or you're at odds with God's Spirit. There is no in-between there. In your choices, you have a choice. Am I going to let God use me and direct me and guide my thoughts through His Word and through His Spirit? That is the foundation whether you're single or you're married. That is the foundation of the Spirit-filled abiding life with Christ. I spoke also this morning of the sanctity of marriage and leaving your father and mother and being joined unto your spouse. God is serious about marriage. Marriage is more than just a union of the flesh. It is more than just a consummation on that marriage night. It is psychological. It is spiritual. It's emotional. In a common law relationship, you have the physical, but you don't have, within the bounds that God created, the mental and the spiritual union and the physical. There is the physical, but you don't have the spiritual union to be right with God. God gives us the very truths of marriage, and as we are willing to bend our wills and say, God, I'm willing to follow what you've given to me. Marriage can be one of the most exciting, one of the best relationships of your life, or it can be the worst. Marriage can, I mean, if a marriage falls apart, it can be absolutely devastating. God's desire as He gives us in marriage, He doesn't leave it up to us to determine what is a good marriage. You know what the Bible says, it gives us the instruction manual for marriage, and that is the goodness of God. Because if you or I were to try to define marriage, and what is a good marriage, and how to have a good marriage, and how to have a good relationship, and all of these aspects of society, these relationships that we have with co-workers, and friends, and family, the Bible gives us instructions on that. We have a God that doesn't want to leave it to ourselves to try to figure out on our own. And that is the goodness of God. Now, coming to verse 23, where I left off this morning. Verse 22, excuse me. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body. Now, before I begin to really delve into this, I want to ask you some questions about a societal leadership structure. God's order in human relationships goes back to the Garden of Eden. God created man first, investing in Adam the position of headship. God created the woman second, giving Eve a subordinate but not a subservient position relation to the man. Adam was made to be ruled from his head. Eve was made to be ruled from her heart. But Satan persuaded Adam and Eve to change roles. Eve took the lead of a place of headship and several Satan cleverly tempted Eve Her mind and engaged her in an intellectual discussion Doing something that God had said she ought not to do and she was deceived When Adam approached though Satan withdrew and allowed Eve to tempt him. It wasn't Adam that was tempted by Satan. It was Eve and Thus aiming the temptation at Adam's emotions that his wife wanted him to partake. The Bible says that Adam was not deceived, in fact he disobeyed. There's a lot of misunderstanding as well as a lot of errant teaching on this verse that can be very incorrectly taught. Before you dismiss this verse or relegate it as antiquated and out of touch with reality in our culture, I'd like you to think about society in general, apart from this verse. Think about a leadership structure, for instance, of a sports team. The hierarchy that is created in order to form a well-oiled machine, if you will. At your workplace, do you have a boss? I think most people would say, yes, I have a boss. Is it chauvinistic to have a boss, whether male or female? You might say no, because they're charged with protecting and preserving the integrity of the business. What about our politicians? As divisive as this is, I'm not going down either side. I'm not talking politics. I'm just talking about a politician's, their role. That's all I'm talking about. Do you shun the thought of having a representative over you? What about on a sports team? Do you scoff and mock at having a coach direct and order the team? You would say no, because they're responsible for ordering and orchestrating and training players to win games. Is a coach above you or more of a person than you are? Is a coach more of a human than you are? You'd say that's a ridiculous question. It's the same within a marriage relationship. They're equal, but different roles. One illustration by Rod Mattoon, he says, for example, a soldier voluntarily and orderly ranks himself under the authority of another. By doing so, it does not mean he is inferior. It does not mean he is a slave or stupid. His submission is done willingly or by choice for the purpose of being victorious and successful. If the soldier is unwilling to do this with the officers above him in rank, then there is chaos and confusion in the army, and on the battlefield, ruin or defeat of the army would be inevitable. You have leadership in the military. There's someone that has to be the one responsible. If spam hits the fan and things get bad, someone has to say, hey, I'm in charge. I messed up. In Genesis chapter 1, God gave to humans the charge to care for nature, both Adam and Eve, male and female. And God would command Adam to leave his family and cleave to his wife in Genesis chapter 2. He was to take the charge and the initiation and the care. It says, therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh. He doesn't say the wife, he says the man is to leave his father and mother and he is to care for and start the headship of his own home with his wife. They're equal before God, because God created them. There's just a different role, that's all it is. In Genesis chapter two, verse 18, the Lord gives a helper to the man to complete him. He says, and I will make and help meet for him. That's Genesis 2.18, the latter portion of it. It is a person who is suitable and sufficient to complete you. A helper throughout life. That word help me, that idea there is a helper, a supporter. For as long as God sees fit for you and your spouse to be alive. God further stated this after their fall. Genesis chapter 3 verse 16, and he shall rule over thee. He's talking about Adam. Again, the headship of Adam. We see a hierarchical structure of leadership all throughout society. I mean, there are countless books on leadership. Leadership demands that there's someone following you. But this is not labeled as misogynistic, sexist, or any sort of thing. 1 Peter 3, verse 7. Would you turn with me here? We'll come back to Ephesians 5, but I just want to take you here to 1 Peter 3, verse 7. Again, I'm laying some foundation here on this verse in light of Valentine's Day tomorrow. 1 Peter 3, verse 7. This is 1 Peter 3.7, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel. Look at what he says here. And as being heirs together of the grace of life, heirs together, there's an equality. That your prayers be not hindered. He says, listen, she may be physically weaker, but she is a co-heir of heaven with you. Uniquely different but equal before God Christ didn't die for the men above the women or the women for the men. They're equal in his expression of love There is no bias with God Because it says God is not Lord and then the verse of 2nd Peter 3 9 not willing that any should perish But that all should come to repentance that not willing not that any that is doesn't matter your gender Now God's desire in marriage, as he states in Ephesians chapter 5, verse 22, wives submit. That word submit is a present imperative middle. This is as strong, about as strong as you can get if you look at the grammar here and you're translating it. A present imperative present, meaning I'm to continually do this. It's an imperative, such as a officer in the military would give you. It's a command that you are to do, and it is a middle voice. That middle voice has the idea of that I myself, I mean, when I say I'm going to do that, But if I say I myself am going to do it, you kind of said that's redundant, but it is a strong understanding that I am choosing of my own will, of my own accord, that I will submit. It's a willful choice. I mean, a present imperative middle is an extremely strong appeal to the conscience to say, you know what, I'm going to. But it says here, submit yourselves and your own husbands as unto the Lord. Again, it gives the foundation. You have to be submitted to the Lord. That is the key and fundamental thing. If you can't be, excuse me, if you cannot be submitted to the Lord, you're gonna have a real issue submitting to a spouse, to a husband. You're not gonna do it. This idea of subject oneself is to obey, to submit to one's control, to yield to one's admonition or advice. You're allowing the husband to be the leader in the relationship. It's a choice. But that individual has to be submitted to the Lord first. If you can't submit to the Lord's leadership, the marriage whole structure, this whole idea of submission will all fall apart. Because if we live for ourselves, the idea of submission to another is abhorrent. Because I understand that if I submit to the Lord, and the husband doesn't treat the wife right, that husband is going to have to answer for God, and God very well may deal with him in a harsh way. It could even kill him. Bible also goes on to say in verse 23 For the husband's the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the Savior of the body And then verse 24, therefore as a church is subject unto Christ. That word subject, again, it's a present indicative passive. There is a willful choice to be subject, to be under the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ. This church is not under my authority, it's under Jesus Christ's authority. It's under the word of God's authority. And should I, as an under-shepherd, go the wrong way, God very well may say, hey, I'm going to remove you. I'm going to kill you. I'm going to get out of you. I'm going to get you out of there. The church is to be subject, like the wife is to be to her husband. It's a willful choice. under the leadership of Jesus Christ. He is the one that's overseeing, as I said this morning, you are owned by no person. And if you are a believer in Jesus Christ, the Bible said you've been bought with a price. And you're valuable to him. And he says, I died on that cross from you. I redeemed you from the slave market of sin. You are mine, and I love you. The grammar of this verb is a command and appeal to the will a command is something you must do as given by an authority Now a little kid that comes in maybe a brother or sister says you need to pick up my toys You said well you're not my authority The child that the brother or sister comes into you and they say mom or dad says you need to clean up your room That's a little bit different, if that's legitimately what was given by the brother or sister. A question of a command is your willingness to comply. Am I willing to bend my will under someone else's? Anyone can give a command. But their position of authority determines whether their command is necessitating my participation in the action requested. Notice the condition of submission here in verse 22. As unto the Lord. Your act of submission. The submission is really an act of worship to the Lord. It is not a degrading act. It's an act of love to the beloved Savior. A wife's submission is first and foremost to the Lord. The husband is not better than the wife. The wife is not better than the husband. As I said, they are co-heirs together. The condition of a wife's submission or of a husband's love is submission to one another in the fear of the Lord. And the submission is precipitated by control of the Spirit of God. In the commentary, Treasures from Ephesians, it states, for the blessing and the benefit of the wife, God commands her to submit to her husband's leadership just as she would love and submit to the Lord Jesus Christ. She submits as unto the Lord in everything. She submits because Jesus commanded her to do this, not because she is forced to do it. Forced submission is not submission at all. The fear, I mean, if someone says, you do this or you're gonna, you know, kind of as a young kid, you know, you get, you're fearful. I remember as I was younger, you know, you'd get the, I'd get the spoon or something over my backside and there were times I was fearful, you know, I was like, ugh. Or if you're over in some dictator, tyrannical government and they're like, either do this or we're gonna shoot you. That's just coercion, that's not submission. Now what about a wife whose husband's not saved? What about a wife whose husband is away from the Lord? Look with me at 1 Peter 3.1. Now obviously if a wife is in an abusive relationship and the husband is being abusive, She may need to separate for a time for her own safety and the well-being of her children. In 1 Peter 3, verse 1, likewise ye wives be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives. He's saying, listen, as you serve me and as you're subject to your husband, you're doing it with the intent that your husband would get right with me or your husband would get saved. As John Phillips says, this perspective lists the command to a higher, holier, and more heavenly plane. What woman in all the world who has met and fallen in love with Jesus would not willingly do anything for Him? Never in the Gospels do we find a woman treating Him badly, speaking against Him, or doing anything to harm Jesus. The women of the New Testament loved and honored Jesus. He was so manly, so honorable, so attractive, so thoughtful, and so kind. It is the men in the Gospels who opposed Him, not the women." The Bible speaks of the actions of the believing wife having a profound effect upon the unsaved husband. Her actions, if they honor the Lord, could be the very thing that brings her husband to see of his need for Christ. The application on behalf of the wife is an act of the will and submission to Christ. The Bible says here in verse 23 of Ephesians chapter 5, verse 22, wives submit, and then verse 20, excuse me, and then verse 33, that she reverence her husband, that word reverence there is to have a profound measure of respect for, she is to respect. Reverence her husband, puts her husband on a pedestal, make much of him, admire him, speak well of him, and defer to him. There is not the degrading or denigrating of his character to others. There is a respecting of him as a husband. Because it tells us there in 1 Peter 3, verse 1, she has the ability to show him godliness whereby he may eventually come around if he's not right with God. And lest you think I'm just coming after the wives, let's look at what God says next with respect to the husbands. Verse 25. Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. Oh my. This fourth point is the sentinelling of the husband. The word sentinel is like to watch over a guard, if you make that a verb. The husband is the head. That's a present indicative act of meaning he is to continuously be the head. It's a continuous action. There's to be no abatement or relinquishment of leadership in the home to the wife or to the children. The husband is responsible before God. And someday, as the husband stands before God, He's going to have to answer for how He orchestrated His home. 1 Corinthians 11, verse 3, But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God. If I want to be treated right by the Lord, I better treat my wife correctly. I want the Father's love and joy and peace on my life. Every person on earth has an authority ahead, even if we refuse to acknowledge it. You have an authority in your life, whether you think so or not. There is a head of government. There's a head of our financial assets. There's an authority on which side of the road to drive on. There's even a hierarchical structure. Even in Satan's dominion, there's hierarchy. So why is it okay to have hierarchy in the rest of this world but not in the home? Because Satan wants to destroy marriage. He wants to destroy the very institution that God designated a structure for love and marital relations. There is a world structure system that talks about spiritual wickedness in high places and principalities and powers and such. The Lord does not leave headship without a framework and standard of comparison. He doesn't say the husband is ahead of the wife and give no comparison. He doesn't leave it without a standard. He doesn't just say love, the husband is ahead. He doesn't just say that. He doesn't just say love, No, he says love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it Speaking here, you know Jesus the church there Jerusalem in an institutional sense as you think about it But the foundation of headship is parallel with Christ's leadership over a local New Testament Church Now we know there is no worldwide global universal church until all believers are gathered up in glory Just as the husband is not indicative of a global husband here, he's a local husband with a local wife. Spatially and geographically specific. But he says here that the husband is to mimic Christ's love. He doesn't just say love according to how you believe you ought to love. It is not left relative and is not left subjective. He doesn't say you're the head and give no other direction. No, he said, uh-uh, you're co-heirs together. I love her and I love you, but you are not the final authority I am. What does the Savior of the body denote? A Savior is one who rescues and delivers and preserves. It is Christ who preserves us from disaster and protects us. It is Christ who purges from the depths of slavery to sin and Satan. It is the husband who is to be the protector and preserver of the wife and family. He is to give the wife her security and her significance and point her back to Christ. He is to be the model of love and affection of Christ. Think about a husband who desires to be the Savior of the body. God has built into a man the desire to protect and guard his home, guard his wife and children, maybe from the attacks of others. I've heard many a man talk about, if someone were coming to my home and they wanted to come after my wife and children, I would stand in the way and I would give my life for them. I've heard many a man say that. One gentleman, Chrysostom, just I'm giving a quote to him, not necessarily giving an endorsement of him, but in the early days of the New Testament church, if it be needful that thou shouldest give thy life for her, or be cut to pieces a thousand times, or endure anything whatever, refuse it not. He brought the church to his feet by great care, not by threats, nor fear, nor any such thing. So do thou conduct thyself towards thy wife. He's saying, listen. I'm telling you how to love your wife. In the very definition here, when he says husband's love, remember how I said the word submit here is a present imperative middle? When he says husband's love, it's a present imperative middle verb. You, it's a command, but it's a very, very, very emphatic command. I mean, it would almost be like, you know, when I was a young kid, my mom would be like, you know, if my mom's like, Christopher, come back. But you know, if she says, Christopher Michael, you know, I'm in, I know I'm in trouble. As soon as that middle name comes out, you're like, oh my, I'm in trouble. He's saying, listen, husbands, this is a command of God. It's based upon an evaluation and a choice, a matter of the will that I want to regard her and her interests and her affections. Husbands are to love their wives as much and in the same way as they love themselves. And this John Phillips says, no summary could be shorter, simpler, or plainer. Nearly all domestic friction and unhappiness would cease if husbands observed this basic principle. A wife would be unlikely to resist a husband who loved her as he loved himself. If the husband goes on to love her as Christ loves the church, so much the better, end quotes. The Bible gives us the realm and the boundaries to follow. God does not lead the headship of man open to his relative desires. The church was started prior to the death of Christ, and he died so that all who were born again could become a part of the institution of the church realized, obviously, seen in the local church. And a husband's application of love towards his wife is an expression of his love for Christ. If a husband doesn't love his wife, he doesn't love Christ. It's exactly here. 1 Peter 3, 7, Likewise ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together, by the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered. God's saying, listen, you don't treat your wife right, I'm not answering your prayers. I don't even want to hear from you. God literally cuts you off in your prayer life if you don't treat your wife right. Because husbands are to be the spiritual leaders in the home. God is serious about marriage. He understands, as I spoke about this morning, the societal and personal impacts of a poor marriage. I came from a broken home. I understand it. Parents separated multiple times, fighting, yelling, screaming. We went to church, or we were there every Sunday, but man, as soon as we walked out those doors, man, it was like World War I was on, and it was fighting all the way home. Screaming, yelling. And as time progressed, then it became cursing as well. Great harm comes to those who lightly esteem what God has ordained. And God has called believers to be a light. It is the husbands who are the ones who exemplify this love. Husbands, love your wives. and the wives who show how to respect. The wife shows the children how to respect the father, and the husband shows the children how to love his wife. It is a selfless love. It's a agapao, or you've probably heard it before as agape love, but it involves not just my hormones at Valentine's Day. I love you. As I said, it's much more than just an emotional love. It's the mental, the physical, the spiritual love. It's all of me. It's not just you see a movie and you're watching, you're like, oh, you know, like some of those Hallmark movies or whatever, and you get in all that sappy situation. Oh, I love you. I love you. And I'm talking, this is a complete person. It is not an emotion that can quickly come and go. It is a love for that person that overlooks their wrongs, 1 Peter 4, 8. And above all things, have fervent charity among yourselves, for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. You know what? She messes up, I mess, you know, husband and wife, they both mess up, and you come to them and say, you know what? I'm sorry, will you forgive me? When we consider this as Christ also loved the church, I want us to realize this, this love, this sacrificial love. He was tortured, beaten, spit on, deserted, and lonely, all in a bid to draw us to Himself for a sweet relationship. Many times we equate marriage in our day and age with a Hollywood-type idea. Our marriages are influenced by culture in Hollywood rather than Christ in the Holy Book. What is God's purpose, Christ's purpose and drive within the church? It is to sanctify and cleanse it with the Word of God, verse 26. That He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word. That idea of sanctify is to dedicate, to consecrate. It's kind of like on that marriage altar, when you say, I do, and you put that ring on, She is all yours. All other men are off limits and all other women are off limits to the man. There is to be no other relationship. It is a sacred thing. He goes on to say, to cleanse. There's a freedom, a freedom of defilement. There is a protection. Psalm 199, wherewithal shall young men cleanse his way by taking heed thereto according to thy word. God purifies the church by the Word of God. A husband purifies his home by the Word of God. He learns to love his wife by the Word of God. Christ wants us to be fully His. A husband is to make his wife better through the Word of God, just as Christ does in the local church. It is the Holy Bible which cleanses us and draws us closer to Himself. And then you find about verse 27, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy without blemish. And kind of the idea here is that someday in heaven, as the believers before the Lord Jesus Christ, that there will be an unblemished, kind of like this idea of a bride coming to her husband. Just a picture that is seen here in the lesson. I'm not implying anything with that, but I'm just saying there's this picture of a bride, as you know, a bride comes there on the wedding day, and she's saved herself, and she's stayed pure for her husband to be, and the husband so forth, and the idea is unblemished. Spots would mean that the mistakes that tarnish one's life and marriage, mistakes so serious that they're very difficult to wash off one's body and out of one's mind. Such things as preachers outline in study Bible talks about mistreatment and abuse, loose and immoral behavior, withdrawal and avoidance. God's saying, listen, I don't want a spot or wrinkle in my church. Wrinkles would mean things that cause friction, rattle the nerves, and that need ironed out, like a temper and reaction, broken promises, serious neglect, and severe self-ignition and rejection. He says, no, I want the church to be holy without blemish. He said, I want you to be pure, untouched by evil, a real love. And the blemish here, as you think about this, Hebrews 13.4, marriage is honorable and all in the bed undefiled, but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. God's saying, listen, I want you to save all physical relations for you and your spouse and your spouse alone. I want nothing else. He wants us morally without fault. Now David, as you look in the scriptures, Psalm 51, David messed up. David did have an adulterous affair with Bathsheba, and he in Psalm 51, he's crying out to God, I messed up. And you know what? There is forgiveness with the Lord. There was some consequences, but God forgave him. But God wants us in our marriages, He says, I don't want us to go out. Your wife is to be your support. You need each other. You complete each other. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of the Lord is the first and very thing. In Matthew 5, 27 and 28, you have heard that it was said by them of old time, thou shalt not commit adultery, but I say to you that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. And God's saying, listen, husbands or wives, if you're involved in pornography, you are committing adultery against your spouse. God is against all pornography and indecent images, whereby our lusts are excited to think about things more than Christ and our wife or spouse. Proverbs 6.25 tells us, to control our thoughts. It says, lust not after her beauty in thine heart, neither let her take thee with her eyelids. It's talking about a strange woman, a woman who comes on the scene and begins to give sweet words, and man, she's commending you, and she makes you feel like a million bucks as a man. She begins to lift you up and you're like, man, I really am a wonderful man, you know, and my wife, you know, your wife doesn't deserve such a good man as you. And she begins to lift you up and say these sweet things. And, you know, you receive these words and you begin to think about them and you're like, wow, that's an amazing woman. I wish my wife was like her. You better be careful. You're already going down the wrong way. So you better watch your mind. Don't let your mind think about others other than Christ and your wife. Unless you think you're off the hook about love and deem yourself incapable of loving your wife as Christ, God gives the ideation of love centered on the love of self. Listen, as he says here, verse 28, so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. Oh my. Oh my. Sometimes it can happen and I've heard of in marriages, you know a guy's like, oh I'm off this weekend, you know, just like continually I'm off this weekend with the guys. We're going doing this we're doing this we're doing this and Never spending any time with the wife The most ruthless of individuals on this earth are going to look after their own well-being They're the center of their universe Verse 29 of Ephesians 5, for no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord his church. He says, listen, you want to make sure you preserve your body. You want to make sure, you know, when you eat that food, you get something that is delightful and tasty and, you know, just something that's going to maybe be good for your body and healthy for your body. You're not going to want to put harsh things in. He says, listen, you leverage your own body. The word nourish there is to provide food and nourish and feed and clothe and look after until she is mature in marriage and then continue nourishing her as long as she lives. The word cherish there means to hold ever so dear to the heart. It is this self-preservation that the husband is to exhibit towards his wife. What does she need? A man who's maybe addicted to alcohol, drugs, or pornography, or even his job, to the neglect of his family, is a man who is not spiritual, no matter the title or degrees behind his name. It doesn't matter if he's pastor. It doesn't matter if he's some theologian. It doesn't matter what title he has. You cannot be spiritual and have the hand of God upon your life without the seeking of nourishment and cherishing of your own spouse. You can't have it. Christ nourishes and cherishes those who are members of His body. He aids them. He comes along. He is the one who's in charge. He says, listen, wives, this is how you treat your husband. Husbands, this is how you treat your wife. And by the way, husbands, you are ultimately, you are the most responsible in your home to lead the family. And you're to be the model in the family of godliness. Verse 33 says, nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself. He mentions this more than once in this passage. Now, I want to ask you a question. How difficult would it be to follow someone whom you knew loved you as their self? I would think anyone would say, if you love me as myself, as yourself, you want to take care of yourself, so you're going to want to take care of me. I can happily follow you. When our security and significance are of utmost importance to this person, you would crawl over sand and sail through rugged seas to be near this person. And so God gives the command of the wives to reverence her husband. The world has a very skewed, twisted, and confused view of love. There's a lot of discussion about love, but if you want the very definition and epitome of love, then look to the one who is the example of love. In verse 25, husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. We have to stop trying to twist and align the Scriptures to fit our selfish worldview. It can be that sometimes I've heard in the church, I'm the man, you must follow me. Yeah, man, you better learn how to love your wife. You better learn how to love your children. You better learn how to get underneath the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ. There's no better love than what Jesus showed to us. It's time for the men and husbands to be spirit-filled rather than self-seeking. It's time for the women and wives to be spirit-filled. When we settle the foundation, the house or the building will have a much greater chance of standing firm. The bedrock of a marriage is to allow yourself to be submitted to Christ. The wives will have no issues submitting to their husband's leadership if he is submitted to Christ. There will not be a propensity to kick against this role, nor will the husbands have issues loving their wives. They will be the leaders who set the spiritual tone and attitude in the home. It's going to be a place of love, adoration, security, and sacrifice, rather than conflict and chaos. The question I want to ask you this evening is, are you willing to first submit your will to God so that you may have a marriage that is pleasing to Christ? There is a need for a generation of men and women who will not let the culture define their role, but rather God and His timeless, perfect manual for life. We must be pugilists or boxers of truth. We must fight to do what the Bible says. We need a generation of women who will yield to the dictates of Christ and not accept an emasculated husband whom she can whip around, but rather a woman who is a true supporter of her husband to help the family be a unit for God's glory and societal change. You learn love in submission. The question I ask you this evening is will you accept and live out this truth? Will you lay down your concept or hurts and get on board with God's program for marriage and true spirit filling? This is what God tells us. This is not me. This is not my desire, but this is what the Bible says. Well, you like it because now you're the one in charge. No, I'm not. He is. It does tell us, I just want to point this out real quick, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Listen, the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. That fear and reverence for Him. Hey, if I'm going to fear anything in this life, I better fear Him because He can really mess up my life. He can make my life very difficult. He can allow some trials in my life that, man, I can just kick. I have had times in my own life, I thought, man, I'm going this direction, and God closed the door, and I tried to get through that door, and as hard as I kicked against that door, I wasn't getting through. And I made my life very hard because I wanted it my way. God can close the things in your life. God, you know, as Jacob, Jacob wrestled with God, and God made him crippled. God will get our attention to say, listen, bow your will to Me and follow Me. We need men to say, I want to be Spirit-filled. We need women, whether married or not, to say, I'll be Spirit-filled. And when I get in line under the submission of Christ, I'll do what God's called me to do. I'll have a quiet time of invitation this evening with heads bowed and eyes closed. I won't have the music play this evening, but just be between you and the Lord. This is a serious thing when we deal with love. And the Bible gives us such depths of love. If we just submit to Christ, we will not balk, will not kick, but we'll find our true identity.