We're in Ruth chapter 2, the majesty of God in marriage. And so the whole point, not the whole point, the majority point of that first chapter set this stage of God being absolutely sovereign, even in the darkest of times. And here is where we're going to start getting into rediscovering some biblical manhood and womanhood. And so in chapter 1, you saw the darkness of death that Elimelech goes, He thought he was doing right, but he goes and he dies and his two sons die. It left Naomi in the depths of despair. But you see Ruth, she clings to Naomi. She's clinging to her, her God, her people, and she's determined to go back. And then you see this disillusionment that she walks back and she doesn't even recognize, or at least she's overlooked, her daughter-in-law. But there's hope foreshadowed. It was at the beginning of the barley harvest. And so in chapter 2, We are going to see Ruth is recognized, and then we're going to see Ruth is rewarded, and she is received, and Ruth rejoices. And we're going to see hope partially fulfilled. Father, I pray as we look at these next 22 verses over the next 30-45 minutes, would you help the men in here to see themselves and to learn from Boaz and the women to learn from Ruth so that we, in our marriages, in our dating relationships, in our personal lives, might be those people who model godliness for the world to see. I pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen. Along the way, I'm a teacher at heart, so I like to teach you how I'm studying so that you can see it and use it in your own life. In the first chapter, it was about the idea of setting and the days when the judges rules. Here, it's about character and narration. You're gonna see the characters talk to one another. You're gonna see how they're described by the author. And those things, especially in the Old Testament, help you understand, and it will help you rightly interpret Ruth 3. So if you've read through the book of Ruth before, you know Ruth 3 gets a little bit peculiar, and we'll see that tomorrow morning. I'll let you hang on to that. But the character that we're developing here is the character that we should exemplify in our own life. And so we begin in Ruth 2 verse 1. Now Naomi had a relative of her husband's, a worthy man. of the clan of Elimelech, whose name was Boaz. And so the things that stick out right there is this is a worthy man, that his reputation precedes him. It means strong, it means well-to-do, and his name, Boaz, means strong. And so here's a worthy, strong man. Now, Ruth doesn't know about him. We're introduced to him. And so again, the author is setting this up like, who is this guy and why is he important? And so in verse two, Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, it's very clear that she's there. The author is calling her Ruth the Moabite. She is a foreigner. She is an immigrant. And so for God to work in this story, something great is going to have to happen. Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, Let me go to the field and glean among the ears of grain, after him in whose sight I shall find favor. And she said to her, that's Naomi, Go, my daughter. And so though she's called Ruth the Moabite, though in the first chapter it was the daughter-in-law here, she's calling her her daughter. that Ruth and Naomi have this wonderful relationship, but two key words show up in this verse. Let me go into the field to glean. Ruth, as a poor person, foreigner, had the right, Leviticus 23, 32, to go into the fields and work. But she went about this the right way. She's asking for permission. Let me go into the fields to glean. And gleaning is not easy work. She had to walk around the corners of the field and pick up what was left over. Sometimes the people would throw out something for the poor. And she's saying, after him in whose sight I might find favor. Favor is a key, is the key word in this chapter. Ten times glean is used, but the key word is favor, and it's used three strategic times that she wants to find unmerited grace from someone. And she sought this the right way without entitlement. We live in a day and age where everybody is entitled. But she says, hey, may I go? Think about this. How polite. May I go and work hard to supply our needs? And her mother-in-law says, you bet. Go, my daughter. And so in verse three, she went out and went and gleaned in the field After the Reapers, so they had gone and she's coming up to pick up the scraps, kind of like that woman in the Gospels where she said to Jesus, even even we get the crumbs under the table. And so she goes in faith. And I love this. She happened to come to the part of the field belonging to Boaz, who was of the clan of Elimelech. She happened to come. What a great word. It's used in the ESV, it's used in the NAS, that she just happened to come to the part of the field belonging to Boaz. So there's this field, it's partitioned out, and here she comes to this part of the field that just happens to belong to this Boaz, this worthy man, this strong man we were introduced to in verse one, who is up the clan of Elimelech. Here's the guy that had the sons who died that Ruth was married to. And so she goes to glean. And I thought about this last night when I was preparing it. Did Ruth know Leviticus 23, 12? We're not told, but the idea is whether she's learning it from Naomi or she's doing her own personal Bible study, she recognized in this culture, I can go out and glean from this field. And so she goes and she just happens to come. Just as if in July of 1998, I just happened to go to Dallas Theological Seminary and there just happened to be this girl there who, again, made a beeline for me at the water table. But that just happened. Absolutely, God's providence is seen behind this. The point of this is God is guiding everybody in their simple decisions. Man plans his way, or the heart of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16, 9. That we're planning our way, but God is superintending the whole thing. And so for whatever reason, I talked to a gentleman in 1997. I said, man, I don't know if I should go to seminary. And he said, well, you know what? over-spiritualize it, pray about it, but as you go, just go until the Lord closes the door. And so I show up to seminary. In fact, I showed up in November of 1997, and that's when I got introduced to my wife. She was going to listen to a lesser professor. I was going to hear Dwight Pentecost. And so she went her way, I went my way, but we reconvened back at the Ice Cream Social with Chuck Swindoll. And we left there, and I left there. I had never been to seminary. I didn't know who went to seminary. I was like, Lord, there are girls at seminary. This is pretty cool. So I prayed a prayer, go on about my business in November of 1997. In July of 1998, we're at the... I had already started. I was trying to get it ahead. I had already taken Greek. And so we go to this orientation. And there she is sitting right down there. So what do I do? I just happened to walk down the middle and I just happened to sit right in front of her. And then during the break, I just happened to turn around and talk to her. And we made that reconnection. And then she was being talked to by someone she didn't want to be talked to at the seminary. And so she saw me at the, like right out here, getting a Diet Coke, but it was a water. And she comes over and we make that connection. We talk and, oh, you're Ashley. Oh, yeah, you're Jud. And we just happened to do that in our choices. Just happened to be on my brother's birthday, November 1st, 1997. I remember the day. And so God is working through our decisions, and he's guiding us along the way. And we dated for, I think, what was it, 10 months? 10 months, and then five months later, we got married in December of 1999, and it's been 18 years later. We're now adults in marriage. We have so much to say. But God's guiding in every decision we're making. And behold, I love this, captures your attention, Boaz, this strong, worthy man came from Bethlehem and he said to the reapers, so these are these aren't he's got Boaz is kind of the owner of the field. And then he's got his servant, his Johnny College's intern. You'll meet him in a minute. And then you got the reapers. And so how is he going to treat his reapers? Here he comes to them and he says, the Lord be with you. And they answered, the Lord bless you. And so he is very much a good businessman. He treats his employees with respect and they love him. The Lord bless you. And so out of the mouths, as it's recorded by the author, you're seeing here's a guy who's strong, who's worthy. And with his mouth, he is praising people and he's praising God. He's blessing people and he's praising God. I want to pause right here because this is so crucial and it's something I'm I'm returning to again and again. Let us never say let us never divorce what we say from our heart. The overflow of our hearts, our mouths will speak all the time. We had an incident last year where somebody said something and it was offensive, but they said, well, you don't know their heart. And I said, I do know their heart. Because the overflow of the heart, the mouth will speak. So gentlemen, how do you speak to your wives? Ladies, how do you speak to your husband? The overflow of the heart, the mouth will speak. Here we see this strong, worthy man saying, the Lord be with you. And they said, the Lord bless you. And so we have this, you can tell from how they're described, this is a great working relationship. Then Boaz said to his young man, his young man. So this isn't a reaper, but he was in charge of the reapers. This is Johnny College. This is the intern. And he says to this young man, whose young woman is this? And so the intern says, and the servant who is in charge of the reapers answered, she is the young Moabite woman. who came back with Naomi from the country of Moab. And so here's a woman, Ruth, who's overlooked in chapter one by Naomi and her bitterness. But here she's observed by Boaz, this strong, worthy man. And she said, this is what Johnny College is saying to Boaz. She said, please let me glean. Here's that politeness coming out again. She seeks permission from her Mother-in-law, she's polite. Please let me glean and gather among the sheaves after the reapers. So she came and she has continued from early morning until now, except for a short, and there you see that word again, rest. And so what has she's done? She's come and she's worked hard all morning. Hang on to that. Then Boaz said to Ruth, now, listen, my daughter. Wow. This is Ruth the Moabite, the foreigner. She says, listen, my daughter, he's tender with her. Don't go and glean in another field or leave this one, but keep close to my young women. This is a smart man. She's overlooked in chapter one. He sees her here and he says, you need to stick around with my young women. He didn't say stick around with my young men. He said, you go hang around with my young women. This is a smart man. Let your eyes be on the field that they are reaping and go after them. Have I not charged the young men not to touch you?" This is a protective man. He's initiating, he's protecting. And when you are thirsty, go to the vessels and drink what the young men have drawn. He is a providing man, so he's smart. He protects and he provides. That is what we do, gentlemen. We lead, we provide, and we protect. That is male leadership right there. And we lead in the way that walks in godliness. We provide for those around us, whether they be our wives, our friends, and we provide for our children. That is what men do. We lead, provide, and protect. This is what Boaz is doing. Then she fell on her face. So how does she respond to this type of leadership? bowing to the ground and said to him, why have I found favor in your eyes that you should take notice of me for I am a foreigner. And so she is blown away. She is blown away by the favor that she's receiving. How can you do this? That is amazing. I often sit there and I say, my wife is God's picture of grace to me, certainly. There are other ways, but the person in my life I see the most and how they extend grace is my wife to me, and I'm blown away by it. And so Boaz says, but Boaz answered her, all that you've done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband has been fully told to me how you left your father and your mother and your native land and came to a people that you did not know before. So her reputation preceded her. You left and you radically followed God and you came to this country where you didn't know any of these people and you're going to be loyal to your mother-in-law. He says, the Lord repay you for what you have done and a full reward be given to you by the Lord. So he's calling a blessing upon Ruth here, the foreigner, just as Naomi was calling a blessing upon Orpah and Ruth back when they were in Moab and say, the Lord bless you here. He's saying the Lord repay you for what you've done. a full reward given to you by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you've come to take refuge." And this idea of under whose wings you come to take refuge is just a picture of the Lord's care and compassion for his people. You see it in Deuteronomy. It's this idea that even though Boaz is a protector, the ultimate protector is God. Amen? I often laugh, and I do pray this prayer, but I often laugh. It's like when I go away, if I were to come to this conference by myself, I always pray, Lord, protect my family when I'm gone. As if when I'm there, it's all up to me. Right? Lord, protect my family when I'm gone. Actually, Lord, protect my family all the time. But we are called to protect. God is the ultimate, ultimate protector. Men, you're supposed to provide physically. You're supposed to protect physically, right? If we're in the hotel tonight and there's a knock at the door and you look through the peephole and it's a dude with a gun or something, I'm not going to say, hey, babe, will you get that? We're at home, and I hear the sliding door of our house break. I'm like, honey, you've been doing P90X3. Why don't you... We're called to protect. We're called to provide. But knowing the whole time the Lord is the one under whose wings we've come to take refuge. Then she said... Now, remember this. May I go to a field to find favor? And now she says, I have found favor in your eyes, my Lord, for you have comforted me and spoken kindly to your servant, though I am not one of your servants. She recognized this leadership. She recognized how he spoke to her tenderly and he comforted her. And at mealtime, so she had worked early morning till a little rest, and now they're having this conversation. And at mealtime, this is a lunch date. This is what I tell college students. This is a good thing. Go on lunch dates. It's where you can go to Chili's, you can have a quesadilla explosion salad. It's 45 minutes. And then if it's not working, you can go about your day. You don't have to go in the evening when it's dark. but you can go on a lunch date. It's a good thing. That's what I did with my wife. We would go to Chili's. I don't know why we went to Chili's. It was just where we went. And we had the same thing every time. And so here they are on a lunch date. And Boaz said to her, come here, eat some bread and dip your morsel in the wine. So she sat beside the reapers and he passed her the roasted grain and she ate until she was satisfied and she had some left over. Now the new American standard says it better. So she sat beside the reapers and I love this. He served her. He served her. Gentlemen, that is how you lead. You lead by serving your wife. And it's going to look different for everybody's household. So I'm not going to say this is how you have to serve. But you and your wife can talk about how is it best you can serve in our house. She does the washing and I do the folding. For some reason, she doesn't like to fold. I don't mind folding. Folding doesn't, it's not, it doesn't bother me. And really laundry doesn't bother me. I mean, there are times she's like, oh, we've got to do the laundry. I'm like, honey, what do you mean? We have to do the laundry. It's not like we're there with the whole, you know, with a bucket and the soap. We don't do laundry. Washers and dryers do laundry. So you put it in the machine that does the laundry, I'll fold it. I even have learned how to fold those fitted sheets. It's amazing. It's amazing. No, it's just an illustration. But he served her. I love how the New Americans, he served her. And notice they ate and had some leftovers. Leftovers are biblical. When I was, they are. I say that, I was overseeing a young singles group at Denton Bible, and there's this guy, he's like, oh, I never eat leftovers. I'm like, dude, you need to read the gospels. You need to read Ruth. We had a meal here earlier tonight. The salad was, I mean, it was huge. And so we're taking some home. It's biblical. And when she rose to glean, so it's lunch date's over, she's gotta get back to work. Notice how nice it works. When she arose to glean, Boaz instructed his young men saying, let her glean among the sheaves and do not rebuke her. So he protected her emotionally, he protected her physically, and also put some from the bundles for her and leave it for her to glean and do not rebuke her. And so she, This man is, as one commentator said, was extremely generous. It says here, he was deliberately careless with his harvest. The more I older I get, the more I see those who are generous. There's something the Lord blesses about radical generosity. And he said, just leave it for her and don't touch her. Don't say anything to her. You let her glean. And so in 17, She gleaned until the evening. And so here's this hardworking woman from early morning until now, except for a little rest. She had a water break. She has a lunch date. And then she goes out again and she gleans all the way until evening. Then she beat out what she had gleaned. And it was about an ephah of barley. And so here we have this hardworking woman until evening. Just a little insight. If you were to go through and you were to read the Hebrew Bible, You're reading through Proverbs, Proverbs 1, and you get to that classic chapter, Proverbs 31. And you know what comes right after Proverbs 31 in the Hebrew Bible? Ruth. Ruth. So you have Proverbs 31, this P31 woman, and then you're given a story to see how it's played out. And so she works hard. And she took it up and went into the city, Her mother-in-law saw what she had gleaned. She also brought out and gave her what food she had left over. So she's like, I have this salad, it was a quesadilla explosion, you should try it. And she's bringing home the staples, she's bringing home takeout, and she had left over after being satisfied. And her mother-in-law said to her, and this is where it gets really, really good. May he be blessed in the Lord, Her mother-in-law said to her, where did you glean today? And where have you worked? Blessed be the man who took notice of you. She's just wondering where she just happened to end up. So she told her mother-in-law with whom she had worked and said, the man's name with whom I work today is Boaz. And Naomi says, said to her daughter-in-law, may he be blessed by the Lord whose kindness has not forsaken the living. That's Ruth or the dead. That's Naomi. She's saying to herself, he took care of you and he sent me back with all this grain. And Naomi also said to her, whoa, foreshadowing. This man is a close relative of ours, one of our redeemers. That is another key word. And so here we are. We're seeing this Naomi who in chapter one literally thought to herself, I'm the most bitter person on earth. How can God be doing this to me? That she overlooked the very person now whom God's going to use to restore her. And then you see her here, her attitude's changing, and we're going to see it all in chapter three in the morning. But here, Naomi was so caught up in her own world, she didn't see Ruth. But Ruth was so caught up into God that she clung to Naomi, and she went with Naomi. And then they show up, and here's Boaz who's got it all. He's this rich man who's got a field. He's strong. He's worthy. And he doesn't overlook Ruth. He observes her. He leads, he provides, and he protects. And now you see the picture coming together. And Ruth the Moabite said, besides, he said to me, now this is interesting. You shall keep close by my young men. That's not what Boaz said. He said, stick close to my young women until they have finished all my harvest. And Naomi said to Ruth, her daughter-in-law, it is good, my daughter, that you go out and be with his young women. Naomi's motherly instincts come out there. And we wonder if Ruth is reading into what Boaz wanted, but she misspoke. Naomi corrects her, lest in another field you be assaulted. So Naomi and Boaz are on the same page. And we often, often tell our kids, one will go and he'll ask his mother, mother, may I have this big chocolate muffin that my grandmother bought me? And his mother will say, no. And then he will come in and say, hey, dad, grandma brought this big chocolate muffin. Can I have it? And what does the wise father say? Go ask your mother. We're on the same page. And so Ruth, maybe she got ahead of herself. Maybe she was thinking Boaz was going to set her up with one of the young men. We don't know. We're not told. But Naomi corrects her and says, lest we go to another field and you be assaulted, you stick with his young women. And so she kept close to the young women of Boaz, gleaning until the end of the barley harvest and wheat harvest. And so we enter this chapter. It was the beginning of the barley harvest. And she stays to the very end. And she lived with her mother-in-law. And so how how do we move forward with this? We see a woman who was shown favor. We see a man who is one who gives and provides and he's protecting. And we see this reward for faithfulness. Glean, mentioned ten times, and we see this favor. And you say to yourself, does Jesus Christ ever promise anything for us to give up everything and follow hard after Him? In Luke 18, 28-30, Peter said, See, we've left our homes and we've followed you. Sounds like Ruth. I left Moab and I came and I followed you. And he said to them, Truly, truly, I say to you, There is no one who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God, who will not receive many times more in this time, we often miss that, and in the age to come, eternal life. Those who follow Jesus will be rewarded. Hebrews 11, 6 says, you must believe this, that God exists and He rewards those who seek Him. So here's this woman who had given everything up. In her own mind, she said, I'm gonna follow Naomi, I'm gonna serve Naomi, and I'm gonna follow her. And all of a sudden, you start to see these blessings. She just happened to come to the field of Boaz, who just happened to throw some grain out, who just happened to take her on a lunch date. And so here's where you're seeing this, that Jesus, this Old Testament story is pointing to this one named Jesus, who will take anyone. John chapter four. Remember that? It's actually, yes, John chapter four, that Jesus was going back up to Galilee and he had to pass through Samaria. He didn't have to. If you were to follow that and go read the commentaries on it, he didn't. Samaria was not the place you wanted to go. You should have gone down towards Jericho and around. But he had to pass because he had to meet that woman at the well. Who then would call him the savior of the world. And notice too, we're also seeing what Paul said in Ephesians 3 20. God does more than we ask or think. Ruth is going back to be with Naomi and serve Naomi. And now we get this glimpse into tomorrow's chapter. He's one of our redeemers. But perhaps the best connection for tonight is this. Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, let me go to the field and glean among the ears of grain after him in whose sight I shall find favor. There is desire for her for grace. And then in 210, then she fell on her face, bound to the ground and said to him, why have I found favor in your eyes that you should take notice of me, a foreigner? She realized that this grace is undeserved. And then finally, then she said, I have found favor in your eyes, my Lord, for you have comforted me and spoken kindly to your servant, though I'm not one of her servants. She is absolutely overwhelmed. Brothers and sisters, that is how we should see God at work in our own lives. Individually, as a married couple, dating, whatever it is, there is a desire in the human heart to be shown grace from God. And then we are those who fall on our faces and say, no way, that man, Jesus Christ, would go and die for me. Absolutely overwhelming. Absolutely overwhelming. If you think about your own life, the desire to be loved by someone, the idea that we don't deserve this, and to be overwhelmed by it. I look back on 18 years of marriage, and I sit there and I say to myself, no way I would have done it like that. If I go back to the way I was pursuing women at one time apart from the Lord, before coming to know Jesus, and then after that wondering, Lord, I was a scallywag. prior to knowing you. And then I'm just happy to be here. And then he puts in my path, literally, that woman. And for 18 years, we've worked through and tried to see this idea of desiring and being undeserved and overwhelmed by God's grace. And so you see, we move from the text to a little theology. God's sovereignty. Again, He prepares and plans our encounters. I could go around the room and everyone here could tell me about how you can see God working in situations. And God works with and through our decisions. It's not like there's a plan B. I grew up once and someone said, well, I'm just out of the will of God. Well, What do you mean by the will of God? Let's pause right there. If you mean that the revealed will of God and you're not following it, you're not being obedient to the scriptures, then sure, you're outside of God's revealed will. But if you're talking about this will of God idea that you're trying to somehow figure out his plan for your life, he's not going to tell you. I taught young singles for seven years, and this was the question. You can ask, this is the question we got. What job should I go do? What do you like to do? Go do it. Who should I marry? Who likes you? Really? Start right there. Man, I mean, I used to have this saying that all the guys wanted to marry, this dates me, but like Cindy Crawford and all the girls wanted to marry the Tom Cruise. And I'm just like, it ain't gonna happen. Who likes you? And who's nice to you? Who's the man who's leading, providing, and protecting you? And are you a man who's leading, providing, and protecting? And God's working in, with, and through your decisions, not opposed. There's no plan B. And so your marriage is, you're here tonight, honestly, because you signed up, signed a piece of paper or you emailed Lance or Cheryl or someone and you said, I'm going to come here. But God was guiding that. Do you believe that? And you're married to who you're married because God is guiding that. Do you believe that? And you've gone through the troubles and the tragedies and the triumphs and the joys because God is guiding that. Yes, you may have made some decisions. Yes, you may have made some regrettable decisions, but God is totally guiding that. And so that leads to our human responsibility. We must focus on faithfulness. As singles, as married couples, we must focus on being faithful, one, to the Lord, and then two, to our spouse, to our children, to our church, We must work hard, we must serve others without entitlement or complaint. We must glean, do the hard work of gleaning. And we must work on worthiness, that Boaz is called a worthy man. In chapter three, verse 11, you're gonna see Ruth is called a worthy woman, and we must interact with integrity. And you see these two interacting with it now, and it's the context for which it sets it up for tomorrow. And so I don't have it up here, but it should be in your handout, the applications following the question. The question is. Where are you showing this loving kindness? It's a word you're starting to see now. Where are you seeing this hesed love? A love above and beyond, as Mark Dever said, in your daily relationships. Am I serving my wife above and beyond? And it's not only just folding the laundry or doing those things, but it's a daily decision to go, I'm gonna honor her above everything else. I remember when we were dating, there was a guy named Walter. And we were at a young marriage function and I was, you know, kind of a big shot. And I was, you know, prideful and walking ahead of my wife. And this guy, ironically of all people, pulls me aside and he says, do you see what you're doing? I'm like, no. He goes, you're marching around this room having her follow you. That was her. Were we dating at the time or were we married? Do you remember? I don't know. I'm right in front. He goes, you should treat her as a queen. And I was just like right in the middle. I was like, oh, so humbled. And I was like, yes, you go before she's the queen. And so she goes before and she will to this day. And you can look after we leave here. If she walks up to a door, we've made a decision as a small way to show honor. She walks up to the door. She doesn't grab the door. We live in Colorado in the north where everybody's grabbing the door. She'll stand there by the door and she's waiting for me to come open the door. Not because she's full of herself. We've just decided as a couple, this is one of the ways we're going to act with integrity. We're going to work on where you're going to see this because I'm going to open that door for you because chivalry will not die with my family. Amen. And so that is a small, just a small piece of love above and beyond. And I know you guys would give your lives for your wives. I know that. I say that when I was the singles pastor, so I did about 30 weddings, and I would stand at the pulpit there and these two were sitting there. I said, I know, I know you will take a bullet for this woman that you're getting ready to say yes to. will you help her at two o'clock in the morning when your son pukes from the top bunk, as happened last week? Because she had been getting up in the night with this one of my sons who is just, he has these night terrors, but then my youngest son, a couple nights ago, it was last Friday, right before we were going to bed on a Friday night, he goes, oh, my tummy's a little rumbly. And I just, I had that gut feeling like he should sleep on the floor. He should sleep on the floor. So he's on the top bunk and you hear my middle child oldest son, oh, he's puking, it's like a river just down. And I said, and it's two in the morning. And I'm just like, I'm tired. But I'm like, you know what? She doesn't get to get up and do this one on her own. And I get up and I almost throw up because we're dealing with all of it. But you go and you go, but it's two in the morning. But she carried those, all three of them, for nine months. You go and you serve. And then here's where I love Above and Beyond. The next day, she's like, do we have to wash those sheets? I said, no, we'll just go to Walmart and we'll start over. And so we chunked a whole two-bedroom suit and got another one. Just small little examples. But men, women, down below you see this table. And that men were to be worthy men. Women, you're to be worthy women. You'll see that in 3.1. Men, we're to be gentlemen. Let's bring back chivalry. And we're to be observant. Observe your wives. This one's for free. You'll get it at every other marriage conference, but learn your wife. C.J. Mahaney said it best in Sex and Romance to the Glory of God. He just gives you a list. What's your favorite color? What's your favorite? We don't drink sodas anymore. So what's your favorite organic juice? I don't know. But what's your favorite? What's your dress size? What's your favorite place to shop today? I don't know if Lance and Cheryl planned this. They're like, your hotel is by an outlet mall. And I'm like, hey, I got to study. Go over there and just spend lots of money. Right. Just do it because you're my bride and provide for them. Be observant. She wanted to go shop and she's so frugal. She comes home with 16 dollars worth of stuff. So I was like, OK, but you got to observe. You got to know your wife. You got to become the expert of her. No other person on the planet should know your wife better than you. God does. And you should be a leading man. He was leading. He was leading the way. He was observing. He was initiating the conversation. Come here, have lunch with me. He led. He was not passive. That is the problem with manhood today. It has been the problem since Genesis 3, when Satan came and he said, did God really say that? It begins with the world system questioning God. Did God really say that? And then the woman's there, she sees that the tree is beautiful, that it's desires to make one wise, and she takes of the fruit. We don't know if it was an apple. We say it's, why do apples get bad raps? I like apples. It could have been a kiwi, we don't know. But she takes and it says, and she gave to her husband who was with her. And there's the only one other phrase where with her is used. It's in Judges 13, and it says her husband was not with her, meaning was not in her presence. And so she gives this fruit to her husband and he takes it. Now, he could have stopped right there and said, hey, honey, God gave me this command. Remember what we're not to take of this tree. Any other tree we can take of, but not this tree. I mean, we can juggle it, we can do whatever. But she had added to it, lest we touch it. And he didn't step in, he was passive. And that is the problem. If you're asking my opinion, and I know you're asking right now, if you're asking my opinion, what's wrong with the world besides the idea of fallenness, it is passive men in the world. If I have one goal in my life, outside of preaching, outside of teaching, it is to meet with men and say, you are not to be passive. As I was going out here tonight, I was checking my email, and praise the Lord, there's a young man in our church who was supposed to show up and do security last week, and he was passive. And we stood up to him in a loving way and said, hey man, you gotta keep, let your yes be yes. We just left it at that. And he emails and he goes, gentlemen, I'm sorry, I should have done this. And I love that. But more often than not, we get this entitlement, we get into these situations where men are passive, they're not leading. And then fourthly, you're to be a protecting, you could add there, a providing man, that for my family, I am the main breadwinner, and it's different for different families, so I'm not going to make any blanket statements, but it's the idea that leading that provision should be the man in some way, either he's the main provider or he's thought through the plan. He's a providing man, he's a protecting man, and he's a tender man. I have grown in tenderness over 18 years and I still need to. I have a tendency just to be direct and blunt and think the world must just live with it. But I'm learning to be tender. Even with my wife, we'll be goofing around the house and I'll wrestle her in some way and she's like, I am not your brother. I'm like, you're right. She's tender. She's porcelain. She's fine china. Lance and I can box, but we tender with my wife. And he's a kind speaking man. Tenderness is not seen only in your actions, it's seen in your words. The overflow of a tender heart will be tender words. Never. If you forget everything about marriage this weekend, if you forget everything I say tonight, tomorrow, Sunday morning, please do not forget this because this is so true. Your words show your heart. Period. And maybe it's not a pattern, but maybe at that time you can never separate what's going on in here from what's going on here. Be a tender, kind speaking man and be a servant. He served her. He served her. And ladies, be a worthy woman, be submissive. That word gets, it's so, if the guy's doing what he's supposed to be doing, That word gets such a bad rap these days. It's like the S word. But that's how God's designed it. And He's designed us men to lead and women to follow that leadership. Women are to be polite. They're to be hardworking. They're to be humble. They're to be respectful of their husband and respectful of all males whatever their relationship. A great book on this is Rediscovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood by John Piper and Wayne Grudem, and they give a definition of manhood, they give a definition of womanhood, and they're wonderful. They're to be accountable. But that could be on both sides. Honestly, that's the other piece that's missing in our culture today. Nobody wants to be held accountable. Everybody wants to do what is right in their own eyes. And ladies, you need to be obedient, just like men need to be obedient. Women, you need to be obedient. And so maybe this is an area where we need to return. And when you return, this is the beauty and you'll see this unfold as we see all four chapters. When we return to the Lord, we find favor and his favor is new every morning. The steadfast love, that loving kindness, that's that same word that you see in Ruth one and two, this hesed love, the hesed love of Yahweh never ceases. His mercies never come to the end. To an end, they are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness. And that's where we'll see you is in the morning. Father, help us to live out the high calling of biblical manhood and womanhood. Help us to see this chesed love that's going through the entire book. This loving kindness. Shown from a woman to her daughters-in-law, shown from a daughter-in-law to her mother-in-law, shown from an older man to a younger woman, and shown from a young woman serving faithfully. Help us to be these people who are worthy, who are strong, who are resolute, who serve, who are obedient. God, we cannot do it apart from you. We need your grace, and we thank you for the favor that you've shown us. It's a favor we desire. It's a favor that's undeserved. And Father, if we think about it deeply, it's a favor that overwhelms us. We pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen.