If you would stand, we're gonna read one verse together from 1 Corinthians 7, verse 24. It's on the back of your bulletin as well as the outline. 1 Corinthians 7, 24. So brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God. You may be seated. Let's go to the Lord in prayer. Heavenly Father, we thank you for your kindness Thank you for this word that we receive from First Corinthians. And Lord, we ask that we would receive it with meekness and humility. In Jesus' precious name we pray, amen. Well, First Corinthians chapter seven, if you're familiar with the book, is this monumental chapter that has influenced the church for 2,000 years on the idea of singleness and marriage. And so I thought it would be appropriate this evening to begin with talking about singleness and marriage, but one particular aspect of singleness and marriage, and that is contentment in singleness and in marriage. It's decidedly challenging to be content as a single Christian. I think it's good that we all observe that and know that on the front end. Our single brothers and sisters in Christ have unique challenges to their contentment on a daily basis. They see happy families, they see social media, people holding hands, they see weddings, they see babies, they see and hear about family worship. It seems as though everyone is happy except for them. There are unique challenges to being single as a Christian, especially when it seems as though everyone else around you is happy and joyful. But there's not only unique challenges in being content as a single, there's also unique challenges in being married, in terms of contentment. Our married brothers and sisters know the challenges, and especially those in this room and those in our church who have difficult and challenging marriages. Not all marriages are created equal, brothers and sisters. Some are more difficult and challenging than others, which is why the Apostle Paul wrote 1 Corinthians chapter seven. And so even in marriage we find that there are unique challenges to being content as a Christian. If only my spouse would change the way they speak to me. If only my spouse would respect me. If only we could be intimate in the ways that I long to be intimate. I see other people who are intimate in this way. I see other people who are happy in this way. I see other marriages that are flourishing and blossoming. I wish I had that marriage. So we see with singleness and its unique challenges to be content, so also in marriage there are unique challenges to being content in marriage. So what we see in this passage is that actually in every season of life, whether singleness or in marriage, there's challenges in being content. And the Apostle Paul actually intends to meet us here in our discontentment this evening, in your pew, right here in my heart, in the pulpit, and say, whether you're single or married, there's an antidote. We need to find our contentment in and with God. And so whether we're single or married, or whatever season we're in, may we find our contentment in and with God. Dear brothers and sisters, Let's look into chapter seven, verse one, and see what the Apostle Paul has to say to us about contentment. Chapter seven, verse one, needs to be read in context, and I'll explain what I mean here in a minute. 7-1, now concerning the matters about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman, or literally, Paul says, it is good for a man not to touch a woman, as he says literally in the Greek. Now, it's important that we read this passage in context because it could be possible for us to rip this sentence out of context and just say, out of the blue, it's good that a man doesn't have sexual relations with a woman. Okay, that's a little strange, out of context, a little bit out of the blue. And honestly, throughout church history and even in the church today, sometimes this has been abused and misused out of context in order to say that the aesthetic practice of celibacy is actually better and has a moral high ground to marriage because marriage is fleshly and carnal, whereas celibacy is actually better and more devoted to God and holier and has a moral high ground. This is not what the Apostle Paul is saying. There's a context here. You see, now concerning the things of which you have written, so the whole book of 1 Corinthians is based on reports from Chloe's people from chapter one and chapter five, divisions and sexual immorality in chapter five and six, and now in chapter seven we're seeing the turning of a new leaf, or the turning of a new page, that now Paul is beginning to address the concerns that he has received in a letter from Chloe's people about the Corinthian church. And so here's the context, here's the larger conversation that's happening in the book of 1 Corinthians. There are some in the Corinthian church that are practicing celibacy because they have this philosophy that celibacy and singleness is better and has a moral high ground to marriage. Let me give you an illustration and an application of what's happening here. Consider modern times in the Catholic church. Thousands and thousands of priests have said, we are committed to celibacy and we will make a vow to celibacy. We think it's better. We think it's a moral high ground. We think that this is how God has actually ordered a holy man to be and it's actually holier and more ethical because marriage is of the flesh and it's carnal. So thousands of priests have taken a vow to celibacy. But at least according to one report that I read this last week, over the course of 50 years from 1950 to 2002, over 4,000 priests were accused of sexual misconduct. And over 10,000 minors were victims of sexual misconduct. Those are just the ones that we know about. And so what does the Apostle Paul have to say to our modern time, to those who would say in the Catholic Church, celibacy is so good, it's to be celebrated, and actually all of our priests take a vow of celibacy. Now in that conversation, in that larger context, the Apostle Paul speaks and he says, celibacy is good, but at what expense? At what cost? You see, this modern illustration and application brings context to what was happening in the church in Corinth. There were Corinthians that were exalting this arbitrary view of singleness and saying, we're single, we're pursuing singleness. But at the same time, it was elevating a culture of sexual immorality because they weren't properly valuing the marriage relationship. which is why the Apostle Paul actually says that marriage is to be the norm in the context of the church. That's to be the norm. It's to be expected that people get married and each man has his own wife and each wife has her own husband. The reason it's the norm is because God gifts certain individuals, not everyone and not even the majority, with the gift of continence. with the ability to be chaste in heart and in mind, who have the ability to then dedicate their bodies to the Lord in dedication to the church in wholehearted, single-minded service to God's people. It's a gift from God, and one should not pursue it unless they have the gift, as the Apostle Paul argues in verse six. And further, he says that singleness is a concession, not the norm, not the expectation, not a command. Singleness is a concession for those who have the gift of continence, the gift of celibacy, and who serve the Lord with their lives, who serve the Lord with their single-minded devotion. To bring modern application today, we have a modern pandemic of singleness in our own context. Not necessarily in this church, but worldwide, within American culture and many other cultures as well. My brother Andrew told us about this pandemic within China, that they can't find brothers who want to marry their sisters, because they want to stay single. And in our American context, we have men and women in their 20s and 30s who are prolonging and putting off marriage for the sake of what? Not an aesthetic view of singleness, but for a hedonistic view of singleness. That they want to pursue career and self-satisfaction and they want to pursue travel and they want to find themselves and be self-expressive and they want to make money and they want to enjoy life and they want to enjoy singleness and they don't want to be tied down by another person. Now, I wonder what the Apostle Paul would have to say about these individuals. He would probably say, each one of you should pursue a relationship with a husband and with a wife. This is the expectation. Because you're not using your singleness for the Lord, you're using it for yourself. You're spending your time on yourself, you're spending your money on yourself, you're spending your efforts and your gifts on yourself. Singleness is a concession, it's a gift of God, intended to be used in service, wholehearted service to God, specifically in concrete ways in the context of the church. Giving your money, giving your time, giving your gifting, giving your ability, pouring yourself out in the context of the church. And so the Apostle Paul, to summarize his argument on singleness, he says singleness is good, yes, it's good. Also, singleness is a gift. So if you don't have the gift of continence, the gift of celibacy, then you should pursue marriage. That is the norm. But if you have the gift, or do not have the gift of celibacy, and you have a desire for marriage, then you ought to pursue it. Pray for it. But nevertheless, in your pursuit of it, in your prayers for it, in your asking for others to help you pursue finding a spouse, be content in and with the Lord, as we'll see in the very final verse of this section. And so we have looked into contentment and singleness, but Paul moves very quickly in verse two, not just into singleness, but then into marriage. For marriage, he says in verse two, but because of the temptation for sexual immorality, each one should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. As the Apostle Paul moves into marriage and as he's going to teach us on contentment in marriage, he specifically zooms in on one aspect of marriage. Now it's important to say that the Apostle Paul is not saying all that there is to say about marriage and singleness in this section. he's focusing in, he's zooming in like with a magnifying glass on one specific aspect of singleness and marriage, which has to do with sexual chastity and the sexual union within the context of marriage. Which is why in verse two, again in the backdrop of this aesthetic view of celibacy but then it leads to rampant immorality. Paul says this is one of the reasons by nature God has intended for man to leave his mother and father and be united to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. This is one of the main reasons that God has instituted marriage. In verse three, further he says, and the conjugal rights of the husband belong to the wife, and likewise the wife's conjugal rights belong to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, and the husband does not have authority over his body, but the wife. And then he says, do not deprive one another, except perhaps by the agreement of a limited time that you would devote yourselves to prayer, but then to come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Now, the Apostle Paul, in talking about this marriage union, you might say from the very beginning, he actually is saying, yes, celibacy, it's good. Having the gift of chastity, good. But then he moves on. What does God say over and over and over in the book of Genesis chapter one? Good. He made man and woman in his image, good. He gave them this union of one flesh in the garden, good. Before the fall of mankind, before any sin entered into the world, God created this marital union between man and woman to come together in holy matrimony in order to have this intimate connection, this intimate union, in order to reflect God's ordered creation. And Paul says, marriage, good. Sex within marriage is very good. Now following the Apostle Paul's argument, marriage is good, sex within marriage is good. What the Apostle Paul is doing is he's building on an argument that he previously made. If you remember chapter six, remember who does your body belong to? Your body belongs not to yourself, it belongs to the Lord. And if your body belongs to the Lord and you're single, then you should use everything you are and everything you have in order to serve the church and serve Christ instead of pursuing self-gratification and selfishness, serving Christ and His church. But if you're married, the Apostle Paul continues his argument, your body first and foremost belongs to God, and secondarily, your body doesn't belong to yourself. but you give yourself in marriage, in holy matrimony, reflecting God's ordered creation, His good creation, you give yourself in marriage to your spouse. Listen, to put it crassly, they own you. Now, the Apostle Paul uses very stark language here, okay? It says conjugal rights, it says do not deprive. Now in different translations, this might say do benevolence. Maybe you've heard that word before. Give your spouse due benevolence. And some commentators even say that's not strong enough because there's no sign of benevolence here. It's actually due rights, what you owe them. And then he says do not deprive. Other versions say do not defraud your spouse. Listen, we need to understand that the Apostle Paul is using strong language here in order to show that if you've given yourself to the Lord in Christianity, saying, I am his and I'm bought with a price, and if you're married, then you are then to give yourself to your spouse, As a reflection of saying, I'm the Lord's and now I'm giving myself to you in service to you, my whole body, my whole self, everything I am is yours, it belongs to you. The Apostle Paul is trying to say that you own your spouse and your spouse owns you. And so what you have, specifically in this context in terms of sexual intimacy, belongs by right to your spouse. And so following the Apostle Paul's logic, if you do not give what belongs by right to your spouse, the due benevolence, the conjugal rights, then you are defrauding them. They could take you to court and sue you and they would be right. Now, if you're looking for a romantic way to woo your partner this Valentine's Day, I would not encourage you to write down the verse, do not defraud me this evening. But it's still important for us to apply this individually to our own hearts, isn't it? The Apostle Paul has written this for our good, for our benefit. And so marriage is good. Sex within marriage is good, it's very good. And we're to give ourselves to our spouse if we're married because, as Paul says, this is God's ordered creation. And there are two implications here that I would like to bring up. The first is, if you want to honor the Lord in your marriage, then give yourself to your spouse. Prioritize the romantic relationship through giving yourself with love and care and service and being romantic and serving your spouse. Give yourself to your spouse. You wanna honor God in marriage? Give yourself to your spouse. Make it a priority. Second implication. If you wanna honor God and marriage and your spouse for physical reasons or maybe for other limitations, mental reservations, whatever it might be is more limited in terms of intimacy, whatever it might be, the second implication is be patient and loving with your spouse. Do not be manipulative. Do not pout like a child. Be kind, be loving, be understanding, be patient. Because remember, their conjugal right belongs to you, but also your conjugal right belongs to them. And so there's this reciprocal relationship, just like in Philippians chapter two. Do nothing out of selfish ambition, but in humility count others as more significant than yourselves. And so it doesn't become your Valentine's Day card that says you are mine by right, But you say, I give myself to you because I am yours. And you focus first and foremost on taking the log out of your own eye before you take the speck out of your spouse's eye. So the implication is if you want to serve God in marriage, give yourself to your spouse. If you want to serve God in marriage, be patient in understanding and loving with your spouse. And yes, the Apostle Paul anticipates the argument, yes, we can be content in marriage, even if they're difficult. The Apostle Paul immediately moves into divorce in verse 10. To the married I give this charge, not I but the Lord. Now there's been a lot of debate about what this means, not I but the Lord, because later he says, not the Lord but I. And so here in verse 10, and later in verse 12, what he's really trying to communicate here is not that one is from God and one's not, but that one is expressly given from the words of Christ in the Gospels. He says, not I, but the Lord, as in, this is the direct teaching of Jesus Christ in the Gospels. And then in verse 12, when he says, not the Lord, but I, he's saying we have no direct words from the Lord Jesus Christ, but I still speak as an apostle, which means it's authoritative, and you need to listen, and you need to honor God in it. And so he says in verse 10, and so I say to the married, And I give this charge, not I, but the Lord, saying Jesus has spoken this from his own mouth. The wife should not separate from her husband. But if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And also, the husband should not divorce his wife. Now there's probably a specific situation that the Apostle Paul has in mind. Remember, he's writing a letter in response to what the Corinthians have already said. And so he says, in this particular situation that he's writing to, there should not be separation. The wife should not separate. But in this particular situation, if she does separate, then she should stay single and not be remarried and then be reconciled to her husband. Now a situation perhaps in our time that we could compare this with would maybe be some kind of severe physical abuse, where there needs to be a separation between husband and wife, but we would still counsel and encourage the wife, don't divorce, wait, pray for. long for restoration and reconciliation. And so in this particular situation, whatever it might be, the Apostle Paul says, separate, okay, don't separate, but if they do separate, she should wait to be reconciled with her husband. And then he says, and also there should be no divorce. The husband should not divorce the wife. Now the Apostle Paul, again, is not giving us a complete view of marriage and divorce and telling us, like what Jesus says, that there is an exception that you can be divorced on the grounds of sexual infidelity or adultery. The Apostle Paul doesn't seem to be addressing that here. Here he is dealing with marriage in general and saying you should not be divorced. But if there is a separation, the goal should be reconciliation. And then he pushes this into verse 12. It seems that there are certain Christians in the context of the Corinthian church who are being converted, which is a wonderful thing. But here's the situation. They've been married for a while as pagans, and they have children together, and then they get converted and they're wondering, what does this mean for my husband? What does this mean for my wife, for my children? Should I leave them? Does God honor this marriage? You're not supposed to marry an unbeliever. Is it a legitimate marriage before the Lord? What do I do in this situation? You can see the dilemma. Believers are not supposed to marry unbelievers. It's sanctioned by God. Do not do it. It's wrong. And so when one is converted, they say, what do we do? Is it a sanctioned marriage? Is it legitimate? The Apostle Paul says, to the rest I say, I, again the Apostle Paul speaking, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. And if any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. So the Apostle Paul says, okay. He's going to get into this in the final point as well. Okay. People are getting converted. That's good. Now that is not a reason to separate from an unbelieving spouse. The believing spouse should stay in the marriage. Now what follows in verses 13, 14, and 15 is an argumentation for not divorcing. Okay, again, that's important because we could take these passages and we could apply them in interesting ways, which makes sense, and different people apply them differently, but following the flow of Paul's logic, he's making a case for believers and unbelievers to stay together. Now why? And then he says in verse 14, for the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Okay, this is interesting language, because generally when we think of sanctification, or holiness, we think of salvation. But in the context here, it seems as though the Apostle Paul is actually talking about the legitimacy of the marriage relationship between a believer and a non-believer. In the context, he's saying, don't divorce, stay together. Why? The unbelieving spouse is holy, and that's compared with unclean, or illegitimate and legitimate, So he says, stay together. It's sanctioned by God. It's a legitimate marriage. The believer should stay with the unbeliever. And just to further the argument, the Apostle Paul says, otherwise your children would be unclean. But as it is, they are holy. And so the argument isn't unsaved, saved, or unholy in terms of sanctification and justification before God and now justification before God, but the argument is ceremonial uncleanness and holiness. And again, it's illegitimate or legitimate. And the Apostle Paul uses Old Testament language in order to say the marriage is legitimate and the children are legitimate. Because you would never think about leaving your children because of this marriage union. No, the children are legitimate. They're holy, the Apostle Paul uses that language. And so also your marriage is holy, so you should stay in the marriage, no matter how difficult it is, no matter how challenging it is, you should stay. but he makes a concession. Verse 15, if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases, the brother or sister is not enslaved, for God has called you to peace. Now, there's some debate here, but within the Roman context, with Corinth being underneath the Roman authority, the Corinthians could divorce for almost anything as we could today with no-fault divorce. And there's no recourse the spouse could make. And so the Apostle Paul is saying, if the unbelieving spouse goes to court and decides to leave, let it be so. Don't fight unnecessarily, don't cause a stink, allow them to go. And then he says, God has called you to peace. Now the goal is peace, whether they stay or go. As Paul says in Romans 12, he says, as far as it depends on you, be at peace with all people. This applies even in the context of a very difficult and challenging marriage. As far as it depends on you, Be at peace with your spouse, whether they stay or go, and if they go, you say, I'm here to love you and to care for you and to be a peacemaker, and I've made mistakes, and I'm sorry, and I'm ready to take responsibility, and I'm ready to love you, but if you go, I understand. Paul says, be a peacemaker, and then verse 16, for who knows? Who knows? Now, the answer here is God. Only God knows. Who knows whether you will save your husband or whether you wife, I'm sorry, whether you wife will save your husband or whether you husband will save your wife. Who knows? Maybe God will use you as an instrument of peace, as an instrument of salvation in your spouse's life. Be a peacemaker, be content in God. And so in these two seasons of life, whether singleness or marriage, the Apostle Paul is trying to help us understand that we can be content in God, that we can strive to honor God with our bodies in singleness by dedicating our lives to God and the church, or in marriage by giving our bodies and our lives to our spouses, even in a difficult marriage. And now all of this is clarified through an illustration that Paul gives in 17 through 24. It seems as though Paul might be shifting topics. And some people take it that way, which it's a fine way to take it, but it doesn't fit the logical flow of how Paul often writes his letters. So in verse 17, he says, only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned him, and to which God has called him. And then he says, this is my rule in all the churches, or this is what I ordain, in other translations. This is what I say all the time, is what Paul's saying. This is Paul's soapbox message. And he says on his soapbox, The Apostle Paul is trying to reinforce his argument. If you're single, you can be content in your singleness. If you're married, even in a difficult marriage, you can be content in your marriage. Why? Because the Lord has called you. This is the salvific effectual call in your heart. If you have God, you have everything. If you have God, it doesn't matter if you're circumcised or uncircumcised, you have God. Paul reinforces this argument through another stark and surprising circumstance. Verse 21, were you a bondservant when you were called? Again, called to God and Christ? Were you a slave, he says? Don't be concerned about it, but if you can gain your freedom, then avail yourself the opportunity. For he who was called in the Lord is a bondservant or I'm sorry, for he who is called in the Lord as a bondservant is a freed man in the Lord. Likewise, he who is free when he is called is a bondservant of Christ. You were bought with a price. Do not become bondservants of men. So brothers, in whatever condition each was called, let him there remain with God. The Apostle Paul uses the argumentation of slave and free. He says, it doesn't matter what your circumstances. That's not what dictates contentment. The state of your circumstance does not dictate your contentment. Your state in and with God dictates your contentment. And so he says, slave man, guess what, in Christ you're free. Circumcised, uncircumcised, I could care less. You're in Christ, you are free, you are called, you have everything you need in God. And so taking this soapbox that the Apostle Paul preaches as he says in every church he goes in, we apply it into singleness in marriage because that's the context. That's what he's trying to do, pulling singleness in marriage into this rule for life, this rule for all churches. Are you struggling in your singleness? Do you find it a challenge to be alone? Do you find it difficult to see others when they're happy? This is a common struggle. This is a common difficulty, and it's a challenge for contentment. Paul would say, you can strive for and attain contentment, how? Not by having your circumstances changed, but by confronting the idea that if your circumstances changed, then you'd be content. That actually drives discontentment. But by saying, Lord, as long as you have me here, if I have you, I have everything I need. I love the final two words. Remain, and then two words, with God. To our dear singles, we don't minimize their circumstance, we don't minimize their challenges, but we say you have something so much greater than marriage can provide. You have something so much more beautiful and glorious. You've been called to God in Christ. You are with God. And as long as you remain with God, you will be content no matter what season you're in, in singleness or in marriage. And so to our married brothers and sisters here who are in particularly challenging marriages, man, it's hard to be in a challenging marriage. And it might feel as though if the circumstance were to change and maybe divorce would be a better option, or maybe contemplating other spouses would be a good option, or just thinking about how your spouse could change. Paul says that might sound good to change your circumstance, but that's not the solution. The solution is to remain content in and with God. Recognizing that circumstances don't change your contentment is the first part of the battle. And recognizing, secondly, that you have everything that you need for life and godliness and contentment in Christ right here, right now, is the second part of the battle. You have everything you need in and with God. This doesn't mean, single person, that you don't strive to be married. This doesn't mean, married person, that you don't strive to have a better marriage. but it means that you're willing to say, God, right here, today, where you have me, I'm willing to stay right here and be content because I have all I need. And I'm not gonna strive and work out of anxious toil, I'm not gonna strive and work out of restlessness and dissatisfaction and discontentment, but I'm gonna strive for the singular goal of glorifying and honoring you, God, whether I'm single or married, I'm going to be content in and with you, God. And dear church, we have the perfect image of this in Christ. Learn contentment from the school of Christ. As you look upon the horizon and you look about what the sunrise brings and you look upon the horizon, what we see in terms of contentment, what tomorrow brings, is a cross. Contentment comes in the shape of a cross. And contentment says, come and die. And in coming and dying, you lay down your desires, you lay down your dreams and aspirations and goals for the future. You lay down your own wants and your own pleasures and your own selfishness. You lay all those down and you take up your cross, just like Christ took up his cross on your behalf. And he says, come. and die, come and find life and life eternal. And for the joy that was set before him, Christ endured the scorn and the shame of the cross. That's what contentment is for us. Contentment comes to you this evening in the shape of a cross. Take up the cross to where we could say, every day, every moment, I take up my cross for Christ. And I don't care what tomorrow brings. I'm not even worried about what yesterday was, but I'm content right here, right now, grateful for salvation, grateful for the opportunity to honor and glorify God right now, grateful to remain in and with God, content in God in every season. Let's pray. God, we thank you for this word. And we know that we will fail. We really will, Lord. And so we need your help and your strength to strive for it, to attain to it. Not that we already have attained to it, but we aim to make it our goal. And so we ask that you would help us by your strength and your power. In your name, amen. Now I believe we're gonna stand to sing a final hymn before our prayer and our benediction.