Now, I want you to look with me, please, if you would, beginning in verse number 10 of Malachi chapter number 2. Have we not all one Father? Hath not one God created us? Why do we deal treacherously every man against his brother by profaning the covenant of our fathers? Judah hath dealt treacherously, and an abomination is committed in Israel and in Jerusalem, for Judah hath profaned the holiness of the Lord, which he loved, and hath married the daughter of a strange God. The Lord will cut off that man that doeth this, the master and the scholar, out of the tabernacles of Jacob, and him that offereth an offering unto the Lord of hosts. And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand? Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously. Yet is she thy companion and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? Yet hath he the residue of the Spirit, and wherefore warn that he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he that put, excuse me, for the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away, saith the Lord of hosts, Therefore, take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. You'll find the word treacherously recorded many times in those six, seven verses that we read this morning. Treacherously. The word treacherously speaks of betrayal. Betrayal. It speaks of breaching a trust. It speaks of infidelity, betrayal. And when the Lord looked upon the institution of marriage in the days of Malachi, He said, Ye have dealt treacherously. You have betrayed one another. And the Lord is not speaking necessarily of the condition of the world at that time. He is speaking to His people. the people of Judah, the people who were gathered together back in the land, back in the city of Jerusalem, back in the region of Judah, those people who were seeking and were maintaining a worship of God, and yet the Lord said, there's a big problem. And I want to speak to you about that problem today. And the title of the message is The Problem with Marriage. The Problem with Marriage. It's a very busy week, as you can imagine. And folks have been working around the clock. And I want to thank Dr. John Phillips and James Boyce and Adrian Rogers for helping me prepare this sermon this week. And you're going to hear a lot from those three fellas this morning. But I trust most importantly, you're going to hear from the Lord by His Spirit. The problem with marriage, the problem with marriage And who is the Lord speaking to as he thinks and reflects on the problems of marriage? He's not speaking to the ladies, although I don't want you ladies to tune me out, and I don't want you ladies to elbow your husband in the ribs. He's speaking to the men of God. The men of Judah had devalued the institution of marriage through their idolatry, through their immorality. And as a result, the homes of Judah were breaking up. The wives of Judah were grieving and heartbroken. The children of Judah were spoiled by the enemy, the devil. We look at the condition of marriage today in our nation but more precisely in the churches across the nation. We can look at the alarming statistics that reveal that half of all marriages are ending in divorce. I could give you data this morning that reveals to you what a trouble it is for children to be raised in a home absent of a father. I could give you all sorts of statistics for the sake of time, and really you don't need to hear those, you already know that's true. I can tell you that the young people who attend colleges and universities today, of all of the student population, nearly 70% of those students no longer believe that marriage is necessary for society. We're inundated on a daily basis with news nugget after news nugget that is designed to condition our mind, that is designed to program all of us to accept an alternate to God's plan of marriage between a man and a woman. Those things are happening daily. There's a problem with marriage. The Lord doesn't, again, address the problem from a worldwide perspective, nor do I think today he would address it from a United States perspective. I think he would address it from the perspective of the problem of marriage. The men of Judah were involved in the fact that with their marriages, they apparently were growing discontent with the wife of their youth. and they chose to put away the wife of their youth. In so doing, they decided to marry the daughters of another god, as the Bible tells us here in Malachi. They married the Canaanite girls, and the Philistine girls, and the Babylonian girls, and the Persian girls, the girls that did not know the Lord. That's who they chose to marry. They put their wives away, the wife of their youth. Said, I'm going to try this one out now. I've been with you for a while, and I'm growing discontent. I don't any longer feel the love that I once felt. So I think I'll try one of these Canaanite girls down in the office. And so they did. And to justify themselves, they went to the temple and they gave their offerings, and they wept and they mourned, and they presented their offerings to the Lord, and they went through their rituals of religion, and they found somebody that said, yes, God is altogether concerned about how happy you are, and so just go ahead and let me justify what you're doing. And so they did. there's a problem with marriage today among God's people. And I believe because there's a problem among God's people, that has caused a greater problem in our nation. As we look at this text, I want you to see three things about this problem of marriage, and I hope you'll write them down if you're taking notes. And I always encourage our folks to take notes. As someone said, a short pencil's better than a long memory. And I agree with that. Number one, I want you to see it. The problem of an unequal joke. The problem of an unequal joke. And notice what the Bible says there in verse number 11, Judah hath dealt treacherously, and an abomination is committed in Israel and in Jerusalem. For Judah hath profaned the holiness of the Lord which he loved, and hath married the daughter of a strange God. I want you to hold your place in Malachi and turn with me, if you would please, to 2 Corinthians chapter number 6. second Corinthians chapter number six we're holding our place in Malachi and we find here that the Lord through his servant Malachi said there's a problem there's a problem in that you have profaned the holiness of the Lord you have committed an abomination And you think, what in the world could they have done to commit an abomination to profane the holiness of the Lord? And the Lord said, it is in the fact that you have married the daughter of a strange God. I want to say this to our young people and to our unwed people. I want you to know that God absolutely forbids you to marry an unbeliever. You can justify it, you can find somebody who will agree with you if you want to, but I want you to know what the Word of God says. 2 Corinthians 6, verse 14, the Word of God says, Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? Or what part has He that believeth with an image? When you speak of marriage, when you speak of the institution of marriage, you understand that God is taking two people and He is making them one flesh. God is, as we find the term yoked in 2 Corinthians chapter number 6, He is taking two lives, He is making them one. They are not unequally yoked together till death do them part, according to the plan of God. But God says, Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers, for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? What communion hath light with darkness? You see, when you marry an unbeliever, and I want our young people to listen to me, when you marry an unbeliever, you're creating, you're causing problems that are going to follow you the rest of the days of your life. That's going to happen. Well, you say, well, now, wait a minute. If I marry an unbeliever, I may get him saved. Well, we're going to address that in just a moment. But we see some problems. We see some problems here with an unequal yoke. And I want you to follow along with me, if you would, please. The first problem we see with an unequal yoke is the problem of spiritual disagreement. Spiritual disagreement. Do you know that husband and wife is supposed to be in agreement in most of the factors of life? You know, you're not always going to agree on everything, are you? But in most areas of your life, you are to be in agreement. There's a difference between agreeing on everything and being in agreement. For example, if you're going to do a project like this, you're not going to agree with everybody on everything, right? But as a church, we have to be in agreement on what we're doing. And in a marriage, as a man and a wife, you're not always going to agree on every issue, but you have to be in agreement. And sometimes you have to agree to disagree. And you have to practice submission. Amos chapter 3 and verse 3, the prophet said, Can two walk together except they be agreed? You know, if you are a believer and you marry an unbeliever, then you are marrying somebody who you cannot have an agreement with. You cannot live in agreement with an unbeliever. The non-Christian says, I want to go to the Lord's house on Sunday. Excuse me, the Christian says, not the non-Christian. The Christian says, or should say, let me put it that way, I want to go to the Lord's house on Sunday. The non-Christian says, this is my day off and I want to sleep in. The Christian says, I want to take a tithe of our income and bring it to the house of God for the work of God. The non-Christian says, no, we need that money. There are other things we can do with that money. We can't afford to do that. The Christian says, it's the Lord's day. It's a holy day. The non-Christian says, it's the weekend. It's a holiday. The Christian says, we have a problem in our home. Let's pray about it. Let's see God's face. The non-Christian says, oh, we can work it out. We don't need superstition. The child of God says, I want our children to be raised in the fear and the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. The unbeliever says, I want my child to succeed and get an education. And they don't need the Lord. You see, there's a conflict there. There's the problem of spiritual disagreement. There's another problem. I want you to see it. It's the problem of spiritual decay. So many times when a believer marries an unbeliever, the believer says, well, I will help them get saved. I love them, and I know they're not saved, and I know this is in disagreement with God's Word, but I believe I can change them. I want you to know that you can't change them. Only God can. And by the way, this principle not only works in marriage, it works in friendships, young people. You say, I'm going to yoke up with young people and friends who don't know God. That's who I'm going to run with. I'm going to tell you, you're not going to bring them up, they're going to bring you down. If somebody were to stand on top of this pulpit today and try to pull me up, they'd have a hard time, wouldn't they? But it'd be a lot easier for me to pull them down. It'd be a lot easier for me to pull them down. And I want to tell you that when you seek to live your life along one who doesn't know Christ, it's going to cause spiritual decay in your life. Olivia married a fine young man, she thought, named Samuel Clemens. She knew that he did not know the Lord, but he seemed to be a very successful young man. In fact, he was. He's the writer who wrote Huck Finn and other stories named Mark Twain. Olivia got Samuel to come to church with her and listen to the preaching. She even got him to the point where he would pray at the table and have times of prayer in the home. But one day after going to church with Olivia, Samuel said, Olivia, I just can't, I just can't go back anymore. I can't deal with this praying. I can't deal with this Bible reading. I can't deal with this preaching. I don't believe in it and I just can't deal with it anymore. I'm not going to go. Olivia was crushed and heartbroken, but eventually her husband's denial of God, her husband's enmity toward God and the things of spiritual things and the disagreement that was there, it began to work on her until eventually Olivia said to her husband, she said, there's no more faith left in me. There's no more faith left in me. I'm talking about spiritual decay. spiritual decay. The Bible says, Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers. You know, the Bible tells us of Solomon who had a great start, didn't he? Solomon, the young man who humbled himself before God and he could have asked for anything, but he prayed and sought God and asked God for wisdom and God granted him wisdom and imparted unto him wisdom like no man in the world had ever known. And yet the Bible says he loved many strange women. That doesn't mean they looked strange or they smelled strange or they acted strange. It means that they didn't know God. They were pagan women. And the Bible says this about Solomon, his wives turned his heart away from the Lord. I'm talking about spiritual decay. You see, there's problems with unequal yoke. There's the problem, there's the problem of spiritual disagreement. And there's the problem of spiritual decay. I want you to look at the second problem we find here in this passage. Not only the problem of an unequal yoke, but there's the problem of an unkept vow. And it is a sacred thing. It is a holy thing. It is a covenant relationship. Marriage is a covenant. It is the covenant between two people in the presence of a holy God. It is the covenant of three. It is the covenant between husband and wife and God. That's the way marriage is designed to be. That's why there should be no unequal yokes. Your covenant, your marriage depends upon your relationship to the Lord. And when you come together and marry one another, exchanging vows, and you become one, then I want you to know that you have made a vow in the presence of a holy God. You have made a commitment to God that you are going to love your wife, and dear ma'am, you are going to love your husband, and you're going to stay married, and you're going to stay together, and you're going to raise your children, and you're going to serve God. That is the vow, that is the commitment that you have made to a holy God. I want to pause here just for a moment and say this. There are people in our church who have suffered awful consequences of divorce. There are people here who I love dearly who have suffered those consequences. And I'm not here this morning to hurt you. I'm not here to make you feel as if you're a second-class Christian. There are no second-class Christians. I want to tell you where sin did abound, grace did much more abound. And we have the God of the second chance. Amen? And He's a merciful, loving God. But this message is for... And by the way, those of you who've gone through that bitterness of divorce, you could testify with me that these things are true. But this message is for those who've not been married and those who are seeking to be married and those who are married that you will not fall into such a trap as an unequal yoke or an unkept vow. It's a covenant between you and the Lord. Mark chapter 10 and verse number 9, What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Malachi chapter 2 and verse 15, The Bible said, And did not he make one? God has brought two lives together and those two lives are no longer two lives, they are one life together. One life. Genesis chapter 2 and verse number 24, Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh." Do you know that when it comes to this issue of marriage and divorce, I want you to understand that divorce disobeys the Word of God. Would you write that down? Divorce disobeys the Word of God. You see, God has placed a priority on marriage. God said, a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife. Sir, your priority in life, outside of your relationship with the Lord, is to love your wife and take care of her and cleave unto her. There's permanence in marriage, and that permanence is revealed to us in that word cleave. Do you know that the word cleave means to be welded, to be bonded to your wife? You know, there's no other commitment. There's no other business. There's no other. I mean, your deer hunting and your job and your career and your friends. None of those things are to take priority over your spouse. You hear me? None of those things are to take priority over your spouse. And some of you who want to go out and have a boy's night, or some of you girls who want to go out and have a girl's night, you want to have your separate lives and your separate accounts, and you go your way and you go the other, that is not cleaving to one another. My wife is my best friend. I love all you fellas. The guys I work with, Mr. Cordell, Mr. Oldham, Mr. Rude, they're great guys. And I enjoy fellowshipping with them. But if I have a choice between her and them, she wins every time. She's a lot prettier than you guys, you know? I married her for that reason. I remember when I worked for United Parcel Service, a lot of times we'd eat lunch at the end of the day, and we were all at Hardee's restaurant together one day. And there was about five drivers in this particular area, and we met at Hardee's at the end of the day. And they were giving this one young fellow a hard time. asking if he was going to go on this weekend trip with them. And he said no. And they were just giving him the business and making fun of him and calling him things like hen-pecked and talking about the ball and chain and all that stuff. And I tell you, I admired his courage, that young fellow. He said, listen, boys, the reason I married her is because I want to spend time with her. And I'm going to tell you, sir, the reason you married that lady is because you want to spend time with her. So spend time with her. Now, ladies, don't go out and say, I didn't say your husband could go hunting. Don't do that. That's not what I'm saying. But don't let it be a pattern in your life. Don't look more forward to being with other people than to be with your spouse. There's permanence in marriage. Then there's the product of marriage that is revealed here. He said, they shall become one flesh. That's physically, psychologically, emotionally, two lives come together. Divorce disobeys the Word of God. Divorce diminishes the worship of God. Look in verse number 13. And he said this. Have you done again? Covering the altar of the Lord with tears and with weeping and with crying out. In so much that he regardeth not the offering anymore or receive it with goodwill at your hand. God said you cover the altar with your tears. He said, you're weeping and you're bringing your offerings and you're putting a good show on. You're presenting a good front. You're coming to me as if you're sincere and as if you're repentant and as if you love me. Yet, your actions and your life, your behavior betrays your belief in me. And he says, it makes me nauseated. I will not accept your offerings anymore. Have you ever met people who just play church? Just play church. You know, as we said, a key verse to help us understand the days of Malachi was this verse in 2 Timothy, having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof. Saying all the right things, knowing all the cliches, carrying the Bible, maybe putting a tie on, whatever the case may be, going through the motions, maybe putting some money in the plate, but their behavior was against God. It was against God. And God said, I don't appreciate your worship. I don't appreciate it. John Phillips said the guilty men raised their hands in horror, crying, wherefore? In effect, they were asking, why won't God accept our offerings? What have we done wrong? Their question revealed how eroded was their moral sense and how corroded were their consciences. They had divorced belief from behavior, as certainly as they divorced their wives from themselves. They could not understand that God does not want the offerings of the wicked. Divorce diminishes the worship of God. Divorce destroys the work of God. Verse 15, And did not he make one? Did not he make one? Did not he make one? You may have planned your marriage. You may have bought the ring and strategized a very elaborate proposal. But I want to tell you, God did the work of making you one. It was his plan. It was his choice. The Bible says, Yet had he the residue of the Spirit, and wherefore, one, that he might seek a godly seed. You see, sir, can I tell you this? It's more about your happiness. It's more than that. It's about God's holiness and God's plan for your life. Ma'am, may I say that to you? It's not about your happiness, although I believe you can be so happy in your marriage if you'll submit to the Lord and do it His way. But it's about God's plan for your life. The Lord said, it's my plan that a man and a woman be joined together, that they have a life together, that they submit to me, that they love me and that they serve me, that they love one another, that they bear children, that they bring up those children in the fear and the admonition of the Lord. That's God's plan. But divorce destroys the work of God. Divorce distorts the witness of God. Oftentimes that godly seed to perpetuate the name of the Lord to the next generation, to teach the truth and proclaim God's Word to the next generation. That seed that can be sown can often be corrupted because of the choices that men make in today's society. We think our children don't watch us, don't we? I mean, we're sort of blind to that. We think we can live any way we want to, do anything we want to, and it won't hurt anybody. Except us. Oh, no, friend, it'll hurt your children. It'll hurt their future. It'll hurt their lives. And did not he make one yet had he the residue of the spirit and wherefore one that he might seek a godly seed, therefore take heed to your spirit. And let none deal treacherously. Against the wife of his youth. Here's the story. To Young people meet. They're attracted to one another. They fall in love. They get married. They go through the honeymoon stage. Maybe they have some children. The reality of life begins to grind upon them. The rose-colored glasses begin to fade away. They begin to see things in a clearer perspective. They drift away from the Lord. They become selfish. They listen to the world and the messages of the world. They're prone to the lust of the eyes and the lust of the flesh and the pride of life. And before long, they walk in, maybe one day after work, and they say, I don't love you anymore. I want a divorce. I don't love you anymore. I did love you. I thought I loved you way back then, but now we've just grown apart. It's a Canaanite girl, a Philistine girl. It's a Canaanite man or a Philistine man has caught my eye. I don't love you anymore. The Lord said, She is thy companion. and the wife of thy covenant. Do you know what you did, sir? You did something the Bible said that is more bitter than death. You just took her heart and ripped it out. You know what you did, ma'am? You did something that the Bible says is more bitter than death. You just took his heart and you broke it in pieces. The tragedy, the treachery of an unloved wife. Here this woman gave you her youth. She gave you herself. She bore your children and loved your children. And you would turn your back on her. God said there's a problem with unloved wives. I want you to go with me to Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 25. Ephesians chapter 5 and verse number 25 and the Lord says here husbands husbands love your wives. You know I believe that that first just those four words husbands love your wives would reduce about 85 to 90 percent of marriage counseling. Can I tell you that those four words would eliminate about 90% of your problem in your marriage? Those four words. Husbands, love your wives. Love your wife. Oh, preacher, I love my wife. I love her. She knows I love her. I told her 20 years ago. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church. Wait, what? What is that? As Christ loved the church, what's the standard for my love? What's the test? What's the measure for my love for my wife? I want to tell you what it is. It is that I am to love my wife the same way Christ loves the church. That's the same way he loves me. Imagine if Jesus came to you today and said, listen, You know, you've been, I've known you since you were, I mean, Jesus has known us since the foundation of the world, but you became my child so many years ago, and you trusted me, and you became a believer in me. And in picture, and in type, we were wedded together. Christ is the bridegroom, the church is the bride. In type, we were wedded together. And the Bible says He's loved us with an everlasting love. We're sealed to the day of redemption. Nothing can separate us from the love of God. But imagine, imagine if Jesus were to say to you, you know what? I'm tired of you. I'm tired of your unfaithfulness. I'm tired of your sin. I'm sick of it. I'm through with you. I want a divorce. How appalling that is. But I want you to know, just as appalling as that notion is to you and I, that notion is appalling to a holy God. When we say, I'm tired of it, I want out of it, I don't love you anymore. He said, love your wives, sir, as Christ loved the church. How did Christ love the church? Well, He loved her sacrificially. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it. He loves her purely, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of the water by the word, that he might present it to himself, a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy without blemish. Sir, do you know that your wife should be a better Christian because of you? So many women have to pull their husbands to church. Do you know that you are the spiritual leader of your home? That's what God has given you the position to be. Your wife ought to be a better Christian because of your Christianity and because of your leadership. And by the way, ma'am, your husband ought to be a better Christian because of your Christianity. Love her purely. Love her securely. Verse 28, So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth it and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. Does your body know you love it? Oh, yeah, you take care of yourself, don't you? There's never a doubt. You don't ever have a fear that when that hunger pain hits in that stomach, you're going to find something to eat. Your stomach's not up there going, hey, hey, hey, listen, feed me, feed me. Don't forget me. You haven't fed me in three days. No. And I want to tell you, you ought to love your wife like Christ loves the church and like you love yourself. You ought to care for her. You ought to take care of her so there's never a doubt in her mind that she's your world and that you love her.