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I'd like to ask you to take your
Bible this morning to 1 Thessalonians chapter 4. Well, this morning
I have been asked to address an issue that is very real in
the church. It's very relevant to all of
us who claim to know and follow Christ. And it is excruciatingly
painful to some of us in very deep and personal ways. All of
these realities coming together make this a very difficult issue
to tackle in a chapel message, but a necessary one. So this
morning, I want to speak on the topic, the gospel, the Christian,
and same-sex attraction. As you can imagine, this is an
awkward topic and a difficult topic to preach about, and it
is going to be a difficult message for all of us to hear. I, more
than anything today, I want to be biblically faithful to the
text of Scripture. I want to be personally helpful
and relevant and accurate and gracious. But most of all, I
want the answers that we give today and that we look at today
to rise up out of the Scriptures. Due to the nature of this topic
and the constraints of time, we have one chapel time together
to do this, I want to ask your indulgence and your understanding
with regard to two things. First, I want to let you know
that I'm going to depart from our usual practice of using the
King James and all of our public preaching. This morning the Scriptures
I will be using and quoting and reading will come out of the
ESV because I think this is going to help us to grasp what the
Scripture says more quickly and more clearly than if we take
the time to explain some of the language and terminology. And
then secondly, I want to ask you to pray for me. Because of the nature of this,
I'm going to be sticking very closely to my printed manuscript. I don't usually like to come
up and just read a sermon to you, and I don't intend to do
that today, but I am going to stick very closely to what I've
written down because I want to be very careful to speak thoughtfully,
intentionally, and accurately to you and to me and to all of
us as we take our time together. So, let's have a word of prayer.
I'm going to ask you to pray for me. And I'm gonna pray for
all of us as we come to this topic together this morning.
Father, you know every one of us in this room. You know our
deepest struggles. You know the things that go on
in our hearts and in our minds. Lord, you know every question
that we have in our hearts. And so Lord, as we come to this
topic, we're thankful that your word does address it, that it
does speak to it. And Lord, I pray for strength
and I pray for grace as I preach your word this morning and as
we talk about this topic. And then Lord, I pray for help
in all of our lives to hear correctly and accurately and to apply personally
to each of our lives in each of our cases. And we'll pray
these things in Jesus' name, amen. So what does God have to
say about the issue of same-sex attraction? Let me begin by pointing
out that God actually has quite a lot to say about our sexuality
and about our sexual activity. For example, we can start here.
The Bible reveals that sexuality, our human sexuality, is a good
and gracious gift from God. God created us as sexual beings.
He established clear boundaries where our sexuality can be expressed
in ways that glorify Him and that are pleasing and beneficial
to us. So human sexuality is a good
and gracious gift from God. Here's the second thing we can
add to our understanding. The Scriptures also teach that
sexual activity of any kind is actually prescribed by God. God
has clearly stated that all sexuality and all sexual activity is to
be expressed between a man and a woman, and we can read this
in the pattern that is set forth both in Genesis 1 and in Genesis
2 and in Romans 1, and it is to happen within the boundaries
of a covenanted relationship. And that relationship is defined
as marriage. And you can see Paul's statement
about that in the book of Hebrews, chapter 13, verse 4. So God has
spoken clearly about the design of human sexuality and has defined
what is morally acceptable and sexually permissible. And the
Apostle Paul appeals to this foundational truth when he instructs
us in 1 Thessalonians 4 to do several things. I want to begin
reading with you in verse 3. Paul says, for this is the will
of God, your sanctification. And then he's going to talk a
little bit about what that looks like, that you abstain from sexual
immorality, that each one of you know how to control his own
body in holiness and honor, and then he's going to contrast it.
in verse 5, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who
do not know God. So believers are instructed by
Paul to abstain from all immorality, to control their bodies in holiness,
and to carry out any sexual activity in honorable ways. Now that seems
to be fairly clear and straightforward in Scripture. However, a growing
number of genuine believers. And I want to make sure we catch
that. A growing number of genuine believers. These are people who
have embraced the gospel and who love Christ, struggle to
live within the boundaries of biblical sexuality because they
find themselves with strong, undeniable, and persistent sexual
attraction to people of their own sex. We call this same sex
attraction. This is not a hypothetical problem.
This is not an abstract problem. Many of us in this room are touched
in some way by the reality of this problem and this issue as
it comes up in the life of a family member, a relative, a close friend,
somebody in our circle of acquaintances who struggles deeply with same
sex attraction. In a crowd this size, there are
brothers and sisters among us. We have fellow pilgrims on the
way of life who love Christ, who desire to live faithfully
to his word, but who struggle with same-sex attraction. And
in my limited conversations with people who struggle with this,
they have two basic questions. And here they are, can a person
who struggles with same-sex attraction be a genuine and obedient Christian? Is it possible? And if it is,
here's the second question, how can a person like this live to
the glory of God when their same-sex attraction does not go away? These are not minor questions.
These are questions that strike to the very core of who a person
is in terms of what their desires are. And so when we provide answers
to questions like this, our answers must be gracious, they must be
thoughtful, they must be accurate. And more than anything else,
they must be faithful to the Scriptures if they are going
to be of any help at all. So let's begin this morning with
this question. What exactly is same-sex attraction? This is a term that has become
very familiar to our culture, in our own generation. So what
is same-sex attraction? What do we mean when we use this
term? And here's what I would say in
answer to that. It is more than strong friendship
and deep affection for someone of the same sex. All of us have
deep relationships, deep emotional connections with, and deep friendships
with people who are of our same sex. For example, we have this
with our parents and our siblings. who are of our same sex. This
is natural, this is normal, and this is biblical. And beyond
this, we have strong friendships with people who are of our same
gender. In fact, I would suggest that
the vast majority of the friendships that you have, the deep, meaningful,
lasting friendships that you have are with people of your
gender. We have this in the Bible. You
have David and Jonathan, for example. You have Ruth and Naomi
as another example of this. You have Paul and Timothy and
Paul and Titus and Paul and Luke. You have James and John. And
so you have these sorts of deep, strong friendships that involves
deep affection and emotional connection with someone of the
same sex. So, same-sex attraction is more
than strong friendship and deep affection. It is inappropriate
emotional attachment and sexual attraction for someone of the
same sex. So when we're talking about same-sex
attraction, in the context of this discussion, we are talking
about an inappropriate emotional attachment and or sexual attraction
for someone of the same sex, and this desire is inordinate,
which means it is out of order. Now let me read you a difficult
text. Romans chapter one, Verse 24
through 27 is one of the places where Paul immediately begins
to talk about inordinate desires. You can read this together. Notice
in verse 24, therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their
heart, and that's the idea of desires, to impurity, to the
dishonoring of their bodies among themselves. Why? Because they
exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshipped and
served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. For this reason, God gave them
up to dishonorable passions. And then he describes that this
way, their women exchanged natural or physical, normal, natural
relations for those that are contrary to nature. And the men likewise gave up
natural relations with women and were consumed with passion
for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving
in themselves the due penalty for their error. Now we're not
talking this morning in our message about homosexuality. But in the
heart of homosexual behavior, at the heart of homosexual behavior
is this inordinate desire for same-sex activity. And they are attracted in this
way. And what I want you to pick up in verse 26 and in verse 27
is that this desire is not following the course of
nature. It is an out-of-order desire. Now, I want you to notice that
this is not the only sin in Romans chapter 1 that is mentioned.
And I want to be very clear this morning that this sin is not
more heinous and it is not more worthy of condemnation than any
other sin. And the reason that Paul is bringing
it forth in Romans chapter one is not to elevate it above any
other sin as though this is the unforgivable sin and this is
the one you really want to make sure you stay away from because
this is why God is bringing judgment upon men. The point he is making
is that the reason the judgment is coming is because of idolatry. And idolatry has to do with the
deep desires of our heart that are out of order, that replace
who God is and what God has ordained. And that brings us really to
the second question this morning, and that is this, where does
this desire come from? Where does this desire come from?
So if it's an inordinate desire, if it's a contrary to nature
desire, if it goes against the way God made natural sexual orientation
to be, then where did it come from? And many individuals who
struggle with same-sex attraction will tell you this, they did
not make a willful, intentional choice about this. I think if
you sat across the table from a brother or sister in Christ
who's really struggling with this, and you listened to them,
and you really listened, they would tell you, we didn't choose
this, this is not something that we wanted, we have struggled
deeply against this, we have suffered immense pain and immense
anguish because of this. But they have come to believe
that this is who they are, And this desire that is so strong
and so persistent and so present becomes their identity. So what
do you do if you are a person like this? I've struggled to
change, but it continues to be present. It appears to define
me. Where did this come from? And
there are two common answers to that question. People will
say, well, this comes out of nature. I was born this way. I was wired this way. And there's
a second answer that goes like this, it comes out of nurture.
Something happened to me, my environment, my circumstances,
my past, things that went on in my life, all of this came
together and influenced and shaped me in this way. And I would say
to you that before you just dismiss those as sort of, well, that's
really not how it happens, That we actually take the time to
consider that there in fact may be factors like this that come
into a person's life that are very real and very present. But
the Bible actually gives a third answer, and that's the answer
I want you to see this morning. Where does same-sex attraction
come from? It comes from the same place
that all of our desires and strong passions originate. It comes
from our heart. our inner man. Proverbs chapter
4 verse 23 tells us to guard our heart, to keep our heart
with all diligence. Why? Because out of our heart
flow all the springs, the issues of life. Everything about us. Every desire that is in us, every
objective that is before us, every part of us, everything
that is true about us comes out of our heart. And so our heart
is the origin, the fountain, the source of all of our desires.
So what do we know about desires? Some desires are natural and
necessary for life. They're part of the natural order.
You hunger, you thirst, you breathe, and these are all desires that
you don't have to think about. They just happen because they're
natural and necessary components of life. Human sexuality, to
some degree, is like this. It's hardwired into you. Some
desires are instilled in us by our upbringing or our background
and our like or dislike for certain things, for example, certain
kinds of foods that we eat. Some desires are intentionally
chosen for us, but all of our desires are affected by original
sin. Think about the fact that you
live in a broken world, a world that has been radically impacted
in very dark and very broken ways by original sin. Original sin didn't just impact
the world around you, original sin impacted you internally. You were born in sin. That's
the whole point to Psalm 51 verse 5. And you have been thoroughly
affected in your entire nature by sin. We call this total depravity. Everything about you, everything
around you, and everything in you has been touched by sin. And that's why Ephesians chapter
2 verses 1, 2, and 3 describe us as people that are wholly
inclined to evil. Some of our desires are inordinate
and broken. and our flesh seizes on those
desires and uses them against us. In fact, this is James' whole
point, that each person is tempted, in James chapter 1, when he is
lured and enticed by his own desires. So there are desires
that are unique to you. We all have desires, but our
desires are tailor-made to our personality. They're tailor-made
by who we are and what we are and where we are. So our own
desires lure us and tempt us into sin. And that brings us
then to the third question that we want to ask this morning.
And that is, if this is true, Why does same-sex attraction
to continue to exist in the life of a genuine believer who's been
born again? I mean, if this is true, if it
comes out of our heart and it's been affected by sin externally,
internally, and thoroughly, then why does it continue in the life
of a believer after salvation? And there are two texts, I think,
that help us with that this morning. One is Romans chapter 7, verses
14 through 18, and the other is Galatians chapter 5, verse
17. And you'll notice as you look
at the Romans 7 passage that indwelling sin, your flesh, does
not go away at salvation. You and I still have the flesh
dwelling in us. In verse 14, Paul says, I am
of the flesh sold under sin. And then when you go to the Galatians
passage, in Galatians chapter five, verse 17, you find there
is no question about the identity of the person in Galatians chapter
five. That person is clearly a believer. And Paul says about
him, your flesh is at war with the spirit. What is my flesh
like? Romans chapter 8 verse 7 tells
me that my flesh is unredeemable. It will never be redeemed. It
will not and cannot submit to the law of God. And we mentioned
earlier in James chapter 1 that my sin nature and your sin nature
is personalized. It's uniquely tailored to your
unique tastes and desires, and from those desires form strong
temptations to particular sins. and uses those desires against
you. And Romans chapter eight verse
12 tells you that your flesh will not go away, but that does
not mean you have to be a slave to those desires. Listen to Paul
when he says, so then brothers, we are debtors not to the flesh
to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to
the flesh, you will die. But if by the spirit you put
to death the deeds of the body, you will live. So the battle
against my flesh is a battle that I can win with the Spirit's
help. Therefore, the battle against
my flesh may be an occasion to sin, or it may be the context
in which God brings about a greater good. My humility and my dependence
so that His grace may be magnified in the midst of my weakness."
And you'll remember Paul saying something like this in 2 Corinthians
12 when he talks about this thorn in his flesh that he begs God
to remove three different times. And God said, this thorn did
not come from me. It came from Satan. and it is
very difficult for you and it is very painful for you, but
I am going to leave it there because it is how you are going
to remain humble and dependent on me and it is how my grace
is going to be magnified in your weakness. The struggle between
my flesh and God's Spirit is the particular arena in which
I give God honor and glory through yielding to Him my physical body
and its desires. That's the point of Romans chapter
12. So we can say it plainly this morning, a believer can
struggle with strong, ongoing, same-sex attraction because that
person, like all believers, has a flesh that produces all kinds
of sinful desires. And one sin is not better than
another sin. Will that struggle ever go away?
And the answer to that, in the big picture, is yes. but not
necessarily in this life. What God does do is He promised
to strengthen. Sometimes God removes a temptation
or an inordinate desire entirely, and all of us have heard stories
of this, but there are times where God doesn't. And it's not
because he loves that believer less, or it's not because that
believer didn't struggle enough, or doesn't have enough faith,
or doesn't pray enough. I mean, Paul prayed three times
for God to take his thorn away, and God said to him, stop asking
me about this. I'm not going to take this away. So when you see a believer with
this struggle going on in his life, don't assume that it's
because that believer doesn't have enough faith, or that believer's
not walking obediently, or that person doesn't really understand,
or they're not asking God enough. God doesn't take all of our sinful
desires away after salvation. Which brings us to the fourth
question, and that is this, is same-sex attraction inherently
sinful? Is the attraction itself sinful? And I would suggest to you as
we explore this answer that we must see a difference between
desire and temptation. Paul has talked about desire
in Romans chapter one. James talks about desire in chapter
one of the book of James. Desires may be ordinate. In other
words, they may be natural desires that follow God's order, or they
may be inordinate. And we saw what an inordinate
desire looked like in Romans chapter one, verse 24, 25, and
26. Inordinate desires come out of
our sin nature, but their presence does not automatically mean we
have committed sin. The presence of an inordinate
desire in you is not the same as you committing a sin. Temptation
uses all of our desires, ordinate and inordinate, to get us to
sin. And so we know this about temptation.
It is never good, it never comes from God, and it leads to sinful
action if not resistance. So we need to make sure we understand
there's a difference between desire and temptation. And then
secondly, there's a distance between temptation and actual
sinning. Being tempted and sinning are
not the same thing. Jesus was tempted and didn't
sin. Believers are never told to repent
of temptation. They are told to resist it, to
flee from it, to make no provision for it. We are told to repent
from sin. So when does temptation turn
to sin? And the answer is when you stop
resisting and you start entertaining it. When you stop fighting, and
you start justifying it. When you give mental assent to
it, and you start imagining it, and eventually yielding to it. And that brings us to the final
question this morning, and that is this. So if I struggle with
same sex attraction, or if I know someone that is struggling, what
help and what hope does God extend? And I would suggest that God
does a number of things. Number one, he tells them the
truth about their identity. And this is a big thing. Their
identity is not wrapped up in their desires, including their
sexual ones. Our identity is in Christ. Colossians 3, for you have died
and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who
is your life appears, then you will also appear with Him in
glory. And God regularly speaks to us
and reminds us that we belong to Him, that we have been given
His name, that our identity is new and it's in Christ. You are
an image bearer. You are a forgiven sinner. You
are a beloved child of God. You are a member of God's family. You are a new creation. That's
who you are. You may struggle with different
desires and different sins in that identity, but that's actually
who you are. Can a person who is committed
to practicing homosexuality as a lifestyle go to heaven? That's
a very different question than can a believer with a lifelong
struggle with same-sex attraction and at times fail repeatedly
be genuine. The answer to the first question
is this. I mean, this is the plain speech
of Scripture. A person who willfully chooses
and joyfully celebrates an identity and a lifestyle practice that
God condemns, has rejected God and His Word, and God is very
direct and clear about the eternal destiny of such a person. And
that is the same for any unrighteous person who willfully and joyfully
embraces any other sin as a celebrated way of life. 1 Corinthians 6,
9 through 10 is very clear. Do you not know that the unrighteous
will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived, neither
sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice
homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor
revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. So
where does that leave me if I struggle with same-sex attraction? And
Paul's answer to that is this, if you humbly embrace and thankfully
celebrate the identity, the real identity that God has given you
in Christ, then as you struggle and sometimes fall into sexual
activity, there is abundant grace and abundant mercy because God
resists the proud, but he gives grace to the humble. Listen to
Paul continue in verse 11. And such were some of you, but
you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name
of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the spirit of our God. Then
God gives clarity, not just about identity, but He gives clarity
about our options with regard to sexual activity. And it doesn't
matter who you are, there is no biblical ground for exercising
any prohibited sexual activity. We are to resist it, flee from
it, and make no provision to fulfill it. What if I fall? Repent. What if I fall again? Repent again. and turn from it. For how long? All of your life
if necessary. What if I can't resist? Then you have one biblical option
and that is to marry in God's design for marriage. What if
my desires are not oriented that way? You can ask God to change
your perspective or you can embrace the possibility that God may
have called you like He did Paul and many others in the church
to a life of consecrated celibacy. like that of Jesus or Paul. And then thirdly, God gives grace
and strength for weakness. And we saw that in Paul's prayer
and God's answer. My strength is made great in
your weakness. And finally, there is hope for
the future. But if Christ is in you, although
the body is dead because of sin, the spirit is life because of
righteousness. And then we're told in verse
11 that God who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you.
And He who raised Christ from the dead will also give you life
to your own mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.
And I want to end this morning with this. There is an incredible
verse that I have found helpful in my own life because at the
end of the day, all of us, all of us struggle with sexual desires
that are prohibited. in some way or another. And for
some, it becomes a massive battle. Not just same-sex attraction,
but any prohibited sexual desire becomes a massive battleground
for us. And here's an incredible text.
Jesus said, these words, come unto me, all who are weary and
burdened, and I will give you rest. Run to Jesus. Trust Jesus. Rest in Jesus. and remember that he is running
this race with you. Father, as we close our time
together, as we think about what we have talked about, Lord, this
has been a very quick overview and there are so many points
and places in this message where there's more that could have
been said or should have been said or clarifications that should
have boundary the edges of all of this. But Lord, we just take
this moment to ask you to help us to hear carefully what your
word actually says, to embrace the identity that you've given
to us in Christ, and to recognize that the presence of sinful desire
in us is the common experience of every human who follows you. And so, Lord, we come to you
for grace and strength. In Jesus' name, amen.
The Gospel, the Christian, and Same-Sex Attraction
| Sermon ID | 125171641351 |
| Duration | 31:07 |
| Date | |
| Category | Chapel Service |
| Bible Text | 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 |
| Language | English |
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