If you will, take out your Bibles and in the Old Testament be turning to Genesis Chapter 2. It will be our text for this morning, Genesis Chapter 2, although we will also have reference extensively to Ezekiel Chapter 16. So you may want to even go ahead and put a finger or a marker in your Bible there. Genesis Chapter 2, we're going to be reading verses 15 to 25 here at the outset of our sermon this morning. Before we read that text, let's bow and ask God's blessing upon it. Our God and Father, we cannot lift a hand to do anything apart from You. We so often walk in our own strength. We imagine, O Lord, that we are sufficient in ourselves to accomplish whatever our heart or mind intends. But as we open Your Word together this morning, we come confessing that unless Your Spirit enlightens our hearts and illuminates the text that we are altogether unable to recognize that truth that you have revealed therein, though we may learn many true things. Oh, God, the truth of your glory and of your covenantal purpose with regard to your people will continue to elude us. And so we pray that your spirit would indeed come to help us, to teach us, to remake our hearts and our minds, to enlarge our vision, to call us to greater faith, to greater repentance, to greater holiness, and to greater hope for your glory and for the upbuilding of your people. In Jesus name, amen. Genesis chapter two, beginning at verse 15. Yahweh God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and keep it. And Yahweh God commanded the man saying, you may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, you shall not eat. For in the day that you eat of it, you shall surely die. Then Yahweh God said, it is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him. Now out of the ground Yahweh God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam, there was not found a helper fit for him. So Yahweh God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man. And while he slept, took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that Yahweh God had taken from the man, he made into a woman and brought her to the man. And the man said, this at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Genesis 2.18 is in many ways kind of the thematic verse for this short series that we're commencing on today. It is not good for man to be alone. But while this is a short series on marriage, it's not the marriage that you might be thinking about. I hope your marriage and mine will benefit from this series of studies. But the marriage that we're thinking about in particular in this series is the marriage that God made us for. And for Adam, that was not his marriage to Eve. For me, that is not my marriage to Kirstie. And for you, if you're married, it's not your marriage to your human spouse. When God brought the animals to Adam, two things were immediately obvious. One is that pairing and companionship is an important and recurring feature of creation. And secondly, it was obvious that no animal existed that could fill Adam's need for the same. Adam did not need a brother, a buddy, or a pet. He needed a partner, a covenant partner. And so God made a helper for Adam. This Hebrew word is used preeminently in the Old Testament to describe Yahweh's relationship to his people. It is barely a handful of times that it is used otherwise. It is almost always used in the Old Testament to describe Yahweh's relationship to his people. It is not a demeaning term. Eve was made to be a helper to Adam. But if you think this is primarily about gender roles, then in this case, you're missing the point. The Bible gives this role and title of helper or helpmeet preeminently to Yahweh. And that is a major clue to the real purpose for marriage. It is not good for man to be alone. Does that mean that man needs to be married in order to be complete? Hopefully we realize that's not the case. Paul said that in many ways it was better not to marry, even though singleness is not God's will for most of his people. Many faithful saints, both in redemptive history and since, have remained single in devotion to God, and these saints are in no way incomplete, regardless of how our society portrays romantic love. Jesus was never married, but he was also never alone. The perfect man, the only perfect man ever to live, did not need a romantic relationship to be fulfilled. He had a far greater relationship that far exceeded and transcended any earthly human or romantic relationship. He says in John chapter eight in verse twenty nine, he who sent me is with me. He has not left me alone, for I always do the things that are pleasing to him. Marriage is not about keeping man company. It is not about completing something that is lacking in men or women. Whatever God meant in saying it is not good for man to be alone, he did not mean that human beings must be married or romantically involved in order to be fulfilled. God says it is not good for man to be alone, and so he makes him a helper. But the helper that God gives Adam leads him into sin. And the rest of the Old Testament takes the same word for helper and says, no, no, the true helper is God. The Old Testament historical narratives are full of stories involving marital failures. The trend starts very early in the book of Genesis during the time of the patriarchs. God gives Eve to Adam as a helper. He fails to protect her from the danger of the serpent, and she leads him into sin and spiritual death. And as men begin to multiply, they also multiply wives. And as marriage multiplies, sin multiplies also. Lamech is the first man noted to have taken two wives in Genesis chapter 4, and he is revealed to be a violent, vengeful, and boastful man. Sarah proposes that her husband Abraham take her maidservant as a concubine, and the disaster that it brings on their household eventually results in Abraham having to exile Hagar and their son. Isaac and Rebekah appear to have remained monogamous throughout their lives, but their marriage was bitterly divided by competing favoritism for different sons and by the lies that Rebekah both told and proposed in order to deceive her aging husband and to rob her oldest son of his rightful legal inheritance. Jacob, their son, had four wives, two legal wives and two concubines. And the stress, strife, and sin which resulted led to violence and enslavement and nearly to murder. One of Jacob's sons, Judah, had a wife and three sons, but he's better remembered and known for the fornication that he committed with a prostitute after his wife's death, and the prostitute turned out to be his daughter-in-law, with whom he had two sons by incest. And we could go on and on like this, walking through chapters of the Bible, talking about how damaging marriage is. to the spiritual integrity of the men and women involved. Moses and Zipporah, Job and Mrs. Job, David and his many wives, or Solomon and his very many wives, and on and on it goes. If you are reading Genesis 2 and verse 18, it is not good for man to be alone. And you are thinking, therefore, man needs to be married. To be happy, to be whole, then let me say respectfully, you're reading it wrong. Marriage is continually in scripture, an arena of strife. Like the law, it provides an opportunity for sin to increase and abound. The greatest romance in the Old Testament is arguably Jacob's pursuit and courtship of the beautiful Rachel. But their marriage, once they finally got together, was characterized by idolatry, contention, rivalry, and bitterness. And you can compare their romance to what may be the greatest marriage in the Old Testament, and that is the marriage of Boaz and Ruth. In that book of the Bible, Boaz is described as old, Ruth is barren, neither of them are ever described as handsome or desirable in any way, and that's unusual in the Bible. Nowhere does the text even say that they loved each other. And that's a far cry from a modern love story or a fairy tale romance. Here's the thesis for the next few weeks. Marriage is designed to teach us our greatest need, our need for a helper, a relationship with a covenant partner. Marriage enables us to discover that need. It is not intended to meet it. It is not intended to fulfill it. Marriage cannot be for you what Jesus alone can be. Now, if you take your Bible and in the Old Testament turn to Ezekiel chapter 16. In Ezekiel chapter 16, we have a very graphic I do want to give you a heads up, it is graphic depiction of Yahweh's relationship with his people. The Old Testament prophets advance our understanding of this truth about marriage and how it factors into God's redemptive purpose. Yahweh's relationship with Israel is described as a marriage. Look with me in verse three, beginning of Ezekiel chapter 16. Thus says the Lord Yahweh to Jerusalem. Your origin and your birth are of the land of the Canaanites. Your father was an Amorite and your mother a Hittite. And as for your birth, on the day you were born, your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to cleanse you, nor rubbed with salt, nor wrapped in swaddling cloths. No eye pitied you to do any of these things to you out of compassion for you, but you were cast out on the open field, for you were abhorred on the day that you were born. When I passed by you and saw you wallowing in your blood, I said to you in your blood, live. I said to you in your blood, live. I made you flourish like a plant of the field, and you grew up and became tall and arrived at full adornment. Your breasts were formed and your hair had grown, yet you were naked and bare. When I passed by you again and saw you, behold, you were at the age for love, and I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness. I made my vow to you and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Lord Yahweh, and you became mine. Then I bathed you with water and washed off your blood from you and anointed you with oil. I clothed you also with embroidered cloth and shod you with fine leather. I wrapped you in fine linen and covered you with silk. And I adorned you with ornaments and put bracelets on your wrists and a chain on your neck. And I put a ring on your nose and earrings in your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was a fine linen and silk and embroidered cloth. You ate fine flour and honey and oil. You grew exceedingly beautiful and advanced to royalty. And your renown went forth among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through the splendor that I had bestowed on you, declares the Lord Yahweh. That's the relationship. That's the way that God describes His relationship with His people. It's a covenantal relationship, not merely a contractual one. It was initiated and sustained by grace. It consisted of deep personal fellowship, true intimacy, not merely a civil partnership. It offered both parties true joy in the covenantal union. And make no mistake, the bride lives and is beautiful because she's loved by the Lord. She lives and she's beautiful because she is loved by the Lord. It is not good for man to be alone. And sin separates that perfect unity that God designed human beings as his image bearers to enjoy with their creator as their covenant head and helper. Continue the reading in verse 15. But you trusted in your beauty. and played the whore because of your renown and lavished your whorings on any passerby. Your beauty became his. You took some of your garments and made for yourself colorful shrines and on them played the whore. The like has never been nor ever shall be. You also took your beautiful jewels of my gold and of my silver, which I had given you and made for yourself images of men and with them played the whore. And you took your embroidered garments to cover them and set my oil and my incense before them. Also, my bread that I gave you, I fed you with fine flour and oil and honey. You set before them for a pleasing aroma. And so it was, declares the Lord Yahweh. And you took your sons and your daughters whom you had born to me, and these you sacrificed to them to be devoured. Were your whoring so small a matter that you slaughtered my children and delivered them up as an offering by fire to them? And in all your abominations and your whorings, you did not remember the days of your youth when you were naked and bare, wallowing in your blood. The children of Israel forgot grace. They forgot that it was by grace they enjoyed all these things. They began to believe that these things were their own, that they were independent of the Lord who had caused them to live and had made them beautiful. And they took all of his precious gifts and even his children and they used them for unspeakable things. They became proud and selfish. The covenant was no longer a joy or an intimate relationship. It was merely a tool for their own self gratification. The chapter goes on developing these ideas. I want you to skip down in verse to verse thirty five for the sake of time. Verse thirty five. Therefore, oh, prostitute, hear the word of Yahweh. Thus says the Lord Yahweh, because your lust was poured out and your nakedness uncovered in your whorings with your lovers and with all your abominable idols and because of the blood of your children that you gave to them. Therefore, behold, I will gather all your lovers with whom you took pleasure. all those you loved and all those you hated. I will gather them against you from every side and will uncover your nakedness to them that they may all see your nakedness. And I will judge you as women who commit adultery and shed blood are judged and bring upon you the blood of wrath and jealousy. And I will give into I would give you into their hands and they shall throw down your vaulted chamber and break down your lofty places. They shall strip you of your clothes and take your beautiful jewels and leave you naked and bare. They shall bring up a crowd against you and they shall stone you and cut you to pieces with their swords and they shall burn your houses and execute judgments on you in the sight of many women. I will make you stop playing the whore and you shall also give payment no more. So will I satisfy my wrath on you and my jealousy shall depart from you. I will be calm and will no more be angry because you have not remembered the days of your youth, but have enraged me with all these things. Therefore, behold, I have returned your deeds upon your head, declares the Lord Yahweh. Have you not committed lewdness in addition to all your abominations? It's a pretty awful picture, isn't it? I preached this text as a wedding sermon one time. No joke. I'm not kidding. God brought judgment upon them. He punished them for their sinful deeds and infidelity. There could not be covenant union or relational intimacy when the people had done these kinds of things. Your sins have separated you from God. That's the message that the prophets are saying to the people. But then something marvelous happened. Skip all the way down to verse 59 at the end of the chapter. For thus says the Lord Yahweh, I will deal with you as you have done, you who have despised the oath in breaking the covenant. Yet. I will remember my covenant with you in the days of your youth, and I will establish for you an everlasting covenant. Then you will remember your ways and be ashamed when you take your sisters, both your elder and your younger, and I give them to you as daughters, but not on account of the covenant with you. I will establish my covenant with you and you shall know that I am Yahweh, that you may remember and be confounded and never open your mouth again because of your shame when I atone for you for all that you have done, declares the Lord Yahweh. The sin was Israel's. The defilement, the self-destruction, All of the doom was their own fault and they cannot fix it. And the Lord says, I am going to atone for it. I am going to remember my covenant, the covenant that you broke, and I will bring upon you the consequences and curse of that covenant transgression. But the covenant that you broke will not be utterly broken. I will make an everlasting covenant with you. I will remember the mercy and the grace that I showed to you at the very beginning. I will restore you. I will reconcile you to me. I will atone for your sins. His wrath would be satisfied and they would know the Lord Yahweh as their head and as their helper. Israel's story is our story. We are the ones who violated the covenant with God. This isn't a Jewish problem, it's a human problem. Israel's experience in the Old Testament is only a microcosm of the entire human race. What happened to all of us in Adam happened in particular to Israel in the Old Testament. God made covenant with us and we broke it. We pursued other lovers. We spurned his kindness and goodness. We said that he was not enough for us. We went in search of satisfaction elsewhere, and we thoroughly corrupted ourselves in the process. And the question is, how can there be a relationship when we have done these things? How can there be any union between a man and his bride when she has defiled herself in this way? Can the union be based on loveliness, on compatibility, cooperation, mutual advantage? Because a lot of times that's exactly what marriages are based upon in our society today. Two people find each other attractive and sexually desirable. They enjoy one another's company and conversation. They have compatible interests and goals. So they date and then they marry. And what happens when those things change? What happens when we are no longer lovely and desirable? What happens when we can no longer stand each other, no longer speak peaceably to each other? What happens when we no longer have anything in common? What happens when sin destroys the relationship that was once made? And the answer to that, what has to happen, the only thing that can change it is sola gratia, grace alone. A covenant relationship, a true, lasting covenant relationship with God and with your spouse rests on grace alone. The prophet Hosea was a prophet called by God to marry a woman of harlotry. She was a true daughter of the Northern Kingdom. In time, his wife, Gomer, was unfaithful to him, and eventually she even became a prostitute. There is a question whether Hosea's children were actually his children or were the offspring of Gomer's lovers. Gomer was reduced by her immorality and lifestyle to poverty. She eventually found herself being sold as a slave. And what should a man do in that situation? What can he do? I want you to take your Bible now and turn to Hosea chapter 3 and listen to what Yahweh told Hosea to do in that situation. Hosea chapter 3. Here is the historical climax of this story in preparation for Hosea's preaching about it. And Yahweh said to me, go again, love a woman who is loved by another man. and is an adulteress, even as Yahweh loves the children of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love cakes of raisins. So I bought her for 15 shekels of silver and a homer and a led thick of barley. And I said to her, you must dwell as mine for many days. You shall not play the whore or belong to another man. So will I also be to you. For the children of Israel shall dwell many days without king or prince, without sacrifice or pillar, without ephod or household gods. Afterward, the children of Israel shall return and seek Yahweh their God and David their king, and they shall come in fear to Yahweh and to his goodness in the latter days. Now, as a pastor, I would have counseled Hosea to divorce his wife and not to take her back. And in fact, I would have I would have said, you've got to get custody of these children. You've got to protect these children from your wife's immoral influence. And from a strictly practical point of view, that is not bad advice. That might be exactly what someone in that situation ought to do. But Hosea's situation was not an ordinary one. His relationship was a type. It was a sign. It was a shadow. It was a picture of Yahweh's relationship with Israel. I would have told Hosea to get rid of his wife because she no longer deserved to be his wife. But I thank God that that is not what he has done to me in the same situation, because I am not Hosea in this story and neither are any of you. I am Gomer. the perverse and unfaithful spouse looking for satisfaction anywhere except home. I am Gomer, a rebel reduced to prostitution and finally standing in the market being sold as a slave. I am Gomer, in bondage to my lusts and no longer in control of my life. Everything good has turned to ashes, and I am left in hopeless misery, unable to improve my situation. That's who I am in this story, and that's who you are. You are Gomer. You may read that story and imagine yourself in the role of the prophet. You're not. God is in the role of that prophet. You and I are the perverse spouse that has gone astray. And that is why it must be by grace alone. The Lord loves the unlovable. He redeems the enslaved. He helps the helpless. He upholds the hopeless. He enriches the impoverished. He sets the prisoner free. He brings the adulteress home, washes away her guilt, clothes her with beautiful robes, and makes her his queen once again. And God does all of that by uniting us to Jesus Christ. Listen to what Paul says in Romans 5. For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die, yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love toward us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us much more than having now been justified by his blood. We shall be saved from wrath through him. For if when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of his son, much more having been reconciled, we shall be saved by his life. And not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ. through whom we have now received what? The reconciliation. That's what this is about. God is reconciling sinners to himself in Christ. I want to talk to you today and over the next several weeks about the marriage we were made for. And I want to apply that to our own marriages. Those of us who have wives, the wives who have husbands, I want there to be a practical application to our marriage relationships. But I don't want anybody in this room, married or not, to think for a moment that marriage is about marriage. Marriage is all about Christ. This is the ultimate design and purpose of marriage. to portray the relationship that we were made to enjoy, a relationship with Yahweh our Creator, who is our covenant head and our helpmeet. Marriage is typological. It points us to the gospel. Before the fall, God gave human beings three creation ordinances, work, Sabbath, and marriage. These are not the result of sin and the curse, even though all of them are affected by the fall. Each of these will be present in the new creation, though each of them will be transformed at the consummation. For instance, in Matthew 22, Jesus said that in the resurrection, we will neither marry nor be given in marriage. And so you might say, well, pastor, if that's the case, how can you say that marriage will continue in the new creation? In what sense? This is the question. In what sense is marriage eschatological? And it is not in the sense of your marriage to your spouse. That marriage terminates at the end of the present age. That marriage is typological. But marriage is eschatological, the marriage that we were made to enjoy with God. I was not made to be married to Kirsten, not ultimately, not eternally. I was made by God for Christ. We were made to enjoy eternal fellowship with Him. That is exactly what Paul is saying in Ephesians chapter 5. Turn over there with me for just a moment. We'll look at this passage in more detail in coming weeks. In Ephesians chapter 5, we so often appeal to this passage in talking about marriage and marriage problems and doing premarital counseling and trying to work for a better relationship in the home. And it's not inappropriate to use it in that way. It's absolutely appropriate. But do you realize? that is the least of the truths that are taught here? What does Paul say he's talking about? Listen to the text. Ephesians 5, verse 22. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself its Savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the Church, because we are members of His body. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the Church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. It's not to deny the practical import of what Paul is saying. It's not to deny the ethical value. There are commands here for husbands and wives that we ought to obey. But Paul says that's not what this is really about. Marriage is not about marriage. Marriage is about Christ. Marriage is two people broken by sin and subjected to death by the fall, who in coming together admit their dependence. their need for covenant relationship. So that's what you're confessing when you decided to get married, whether you understood that or not. Men and women like to think that they are independent, that they don't need anyone or anything. Marriage is a confession to the contrary. Marriage is a confession that we do need something, that it is not good for man to be alone. But marriage is not the ultimate relationship that we need. It is not the answer to the problem in Genesis 218. It is true that it is not good for man to be alone, but marriage is not the solution for that. And when we try to make good things into ultimate things, we end up with idols instead. And that is what many people do with their marriages. They take a good thing, they try to make it an ultimate thing, and they find out that it doesn't work. It doesn't work. It's not an idol that can satisfy us. And it's also not an idol that is harmless or even helpful. It's an idol that will burn our flesh and turn our joy into dust and ashes. If you want to ruin your marriage, look to your marriage as if it is the ultimate instrument of your satisfaction. If we are wise, we will realize that as good as marriage is and as pleasant and pleasurable as it can be, it is not the relationship that I was made for. It is not what I truly need to complete me. Marriage cannot be or do what Jesus alone can be and do. Marriage cannot justify me. It cannot fulfill me. It cannot give my life eternal meaning. It cannot provide transcendent peace. What marriage can and should do is point us daily to Christ and to our need for redeeming love and restorative grace. Marriage shows us that we are not alone and that we cannot stand on our own, that life is about more than the selfish pursuit of our own gratification. Marriage does this in three ways, primarily. First, it shows us our need for covenant relationship. We need a helper. We need someone to come alongside, to accompany us, to assist us, to sustain us. And that relationship must be covenantal, not merely contractual. It's a relationship, not just a business arrangement. And it has to be based on grace and involve both giving and receiving grace. It has to be enduring and redeeming because we are broken and sinful Even the best of us cannot endure without grace and support. It's not good for man to be alone and we won't survive if we are alone. And that's part of what marriage is teaching us day after day. Secondly, marriage shows us our inability to ultimately satisfy our greatest need through human means. Marriage helps us understand that we need relationship, that we're made for it, but it helps us realize that a relationship between two sinners is not that relationship, not ultimately. Marriage at its best can only be typological. And the relationship that I need is eschatological. It belongs to the age to come. Some people expect marriage to satisfy their deepest needs, but it can't. Not marriage, not children, money, possessions, power, pleasure, success. None of these things can ever truly satisfy the need of the soul. And I want you to think about an analogy through this series between marriage and the law. Some of you will resonate with that and some of you will struggle with it. But God gave humankind the law in part to show us our need for Him. and to demonstrate to us that there is nothing that we can do that can ever stand in his place. We cannot be saved by the law. And he gave us the law to teach us that, to say, you are by default legalists. I'm going to give you a law to keep so that you will be convinced that you cannot keep it. And marriage does the same thing. It acts as a restraint for sin, just like the law does. I'm a better man because of being married. I grow in holiness and sanctification because I'm married. But like the law, marriage also increases sin. Have you noticed this if you've been married more than three weeks? I have sinned in ways with regard to my marriage I never would have sinned if I had remained single. It magnifies my sin. It restrains it and increases it. How can it do both? The law does both. Marriage does both as well. Marriage has led to temptations and failures that as a husband, I would have never known otherwise. It is an instrument of divine blessing, but it cannot be my savior. And third, marriage shows us how grace works in a relationship. Like the law that cannot save but restrains evil and directs us in holiness, marriage is a relational tool that God gave us to help in knowing, loving, and serving Him. Marriage is like a laboratory where we experience and experiment with grace. Because you may be able to fool many people, but you won't fool your spouse for very long if you have the kind of relationship that you're supposed to. A deep, personal, transparent relationship with one another. Marriage exposes us. It exposes you. Your pride, your selfishness, your self-deception. Marriage just destroys that. I cannot imagine, as arrogant as I am as a married man, I cannot imagine how arrogant I would be if I were not married. You go out all day, you're conquering battles and fighting dragons and everyone's singing your praises and you come home. You come home. And there are dishes that need to be washed and laundry that needs to be folded and kids that are sick and things. You're not the hero of the story anymore, you're just the husband, you're just the dad. The reality is marriage exposes the idols that we create for ourselves and about ourselves. It compels us to see our sinfulness in new and painful ways. It illuminates us by helping us to see God's love in a new context as well and in a deeper way, and it encourages us to walk in the same. Unfortunately, many people spend most of their married lives never realizing how it typifies the gospel or ever reflecting on the ways in which God designed it to be useful to us. And what I would encourage you, brothers and sisters who are married, is don't waste your marriage. Study it. Pray over it. Let it be a ministry of grace in your life and an administration of God's grace in you, to you and to your spouse through you because you were made to be married. not to your spouse, but to him.