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Just for Women. Listen to Mrs. Waite speak from
her heart to your need. Pause a moment and care. Just for Women is an unusual
broadcast for women in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation. Yvonne Waite deals biblically
with the many issues facing women today. The Bible tells the older
women to speak the things which become sound doctrine. and teach
the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love
their children, to be discreet, keepers at home, good, obedient
to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Listen now to Mrs. Waite speaking
just for women. Sit down a little bit, I've got
to tell you we're going to begin a new series. I wrote a booklet,
oh I don't remember if it was last year or the year before,
recently in the recent past. It's a little booklet that would
fit inside a business envelope, 41 pages, and it's called Marriage
Defrauding and Other Matters, especially for Women by Yvonne
S. Wade. I'm Mrs. Wade. And I really have been
looking forward to talking about marriage with you. In fact, it's
one of the reasons I felt the Lord would have me have this
program, Just for Women. But I did want to just jump into
talking about marriage when I first got acquainted with you because
I didn't want to scare you off. And also I have other things
on my mind besides marriage. Now I'm no expert. I've been
married 52 years but I'm just a learner. I guess I'm a slow
learner. But I want to offer this booklet to you. If you want
it just ask me for it. And if you want to pay the postage
fine. These are already published so You don't have to wait. I just have to apologize. I don't
have my Harry Potter review finished. It's almost finished, but I have
things to add to it and it just seems like ever since I did that
and promised the book to you or the paper, I'm not sure if
it will be in booklet form or in manuscript form, I just have
not had a minute to do it in. You'll just have to forgive me,
but I will do it because I want to finish it. And maybe I'll
be able to do it in January. We'll see. You know, the Lord
has interruptions in our lives that make our lives what they
are. But let's not just go talking
about that. It will never get finished. I
have the scripture in front of me, Isaiah 45 too, which I want
to leave with you. I will go before thee and make
the crooked places straight. I will go before thee and make
the crooked places straight. In marriage there are many crooked
places. Marriage is a big surprise. It's
just not all hearts and flowers. And we have to work at marriage,
don't we? 1 Peter 2.21 says, For even here
unto were ye called, because Christ also suffered for us,
leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps. The
fear of man brings a snare, but whosoever putteth his trust in
the Lord shall be safe. That's Proverbs 29.25. One night
in Vista, California, while introducing myself to people crowding around
our Bible for Today book table, a tall man about 40, the father
of four, introduced himself to me. It was then that he thanked
me on behalf of his wife for my writings. You could have knocked
me over with a feather when he said, but most of all, Mrs. Waite,
I thank you for writing husband-loving lessons. Now that's an offer
that we have here at the Bible for Today. It's number 463, and
you can call our John 10-9, 1-800-JOHN-10-9, and we can tell you how you can
get that. That's different from this booklet that I said I would
send you if you wanted it. This study, Husband Loving Lessons,
is a major marriage manual based on scripture, which I wrote years
ago. It was then that I told him that
I was writing an article on 1 Corinthians 7, but was having doubts how
it would be received. I'll never forget how he looked
at me and said, Mrs. Waite, you must write it. You
must be bold. Personally, I think this booklet
is due to be written, but dear reader, the question is, are
you ready for it? The subject of this booklet is
marriage defrauding and other matters, especially for women.
The truth is that the subject of defrauding, a terrible marriage
no-no, is from the Apostle Paul himself. I must fess up, years
ago my husband was my original teacher concerning this marriage
concept. At first I didn't always like
the teaching but could not deny it was a marriage principle from
God. Though I had graduated from Bible
school as well as being with my husband as he studied at seminary
and heard many famous Bible teachers, No one taught me what 1 Corinthians
7 was all about before my husband did. I never read this teaching
in any other book until after I taught and wrote about it myself.
Of course it was to my husband's advantage that I be Pauline in
all areas of my life. That's sort of a little joke,
isn't it, girl? You will discover that it will be to your mate's
advantage also, and as it turned out, it was to mine too. I want
you to realize that I do not think I am the perfect wife,
mother, or grandmother, and if I had any misconceptions or misconstrued
conceptions, otherwise my children and or their spouses have set
me straight. No, I do not hold myself up as
a perfect role model, but am bold enough to hold high the
word of God where you and I as women can find the how-to for
marriage. It is a daily challenge. I often
become discouraged like you do, but remember this, God is faithful. Let me encourage you to keep
pressing on. As my father always said, find
a way or make a way. Now this section is called Marriage
is no Picnic. 1 Corinthians 7 10-11 And unto
the married I commanded, yet not I but the Lord. Let not the
wife depart from her husband. But, and if she depart, let her
remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband, and let not the
husband put away his wife. I am a moralist. Black and white,
that's how I see things. Guess it was my upbringing, the
way I was trained. My parents taught me right from
wrong. Up was up, and down was down. It was in, in was in, and
out was out. When Mother told me that the
Bible said the wages of sin is death, I believed. I didn't question. You wouldn't have either if mother
were your teacher. If daddy said don't do that,
I didn't do that. Why? Because my father said so
and I obeyed him. Wasn't I supposed to? I just
can't get away from the formula for living of thus saith the
Lord. It was inbred within me since birth, especially when
it comes to marriage and what the Bible has to say about that
subject. One of the first lessons from my parents and grandparents
was that marriage was for life. I still believe it even though
more than half of the couples And the United States of America
don't. Oh, don't get me wrong. Yes, I've wondered about bailing
out too. I've experienced many a bump
on the matrimonial road. I've been tempted to stop the
whole thing and get off, but have not. That's what counts.
I didn't. We didn't. Right. I'm old-fashioned like
my parents were, but so is God and his word. Personally, I practiced
marriage for life ever since I stepped over the border of
singlehood into the land of wedded one-fleshism. No bed of roses. Don't get me wrong, not all ran
smoothly between the mister and me. Being a man and wife has
not always been a bed of roses. My learning scriptural submission
to my own husband has been a lifelong process. Our marriage has been
a journey full of expression, explosion, exception, extension,
exertion, exaltation, exhaustion, exhortation, exclamation, excitation,
exaltation, exhortation, excalpation, and examination. I shouldn't
have tried to pronounce all those words because you Listen to me
all the time. No, I don't pronounce words very
well. Our pain has been dulled by tears. Our fears have been
numbed by forgiveness. Our will to love one another
has been determined by the Word of God. Otherwise we would be
dead on the potter's field of matrimonial suicide. Sometimes
I wonder how we ever made it to 50 years. Who's in charge
here? As I've often said, love is a
matter of the mind. My maid and I have strong personalities. We are idea people. Both of us
know how to run the show. We know how to take charge and
produce a successful project. In a marriage, the Bible leaves
no doubt to an honest reader who is to run the family. Do
you have a problem with this? It is not the wife only who must
yield to the scripture, thus to her own husband's leadership,
but the husband is instructed by the same word of God to be
the head of his wife and the leader of his family. Keep in
mind that submission to one's own husband does not mean a wife
is a subservient serf without a brain in her head, afraid of
her own shadow, belittled at every turn by her mate. Nor does
his headship convey that the husband is to misuse his masculine
strength or emotional scorn to belittle his weaker vessels,
ability. 1 Peter 3.7 Often for different
reasons with different husbands in different circumstances, a
man doesn't want to be the head of his wife or the commandant
of their family. He doesn't even want to delegate
authority for his wife to work under his leadership. He just
can't cope. He'd rather let his wife make
the decisions totally, to be the mother of his life. A husband's
failure to fulfill his role as a scriptural husband is just
as sinful as the wife's usurping her husband's biblical assignment,
a meek facade. Let me confess to you that a
meek and quiet spirit doesn't mean a wife is to be a weak and
spineless person any more than a husband, as the jellyfish head
of his wife is to have a backbone deformity. I question a marriage
where a man never raises his voice, either by sound or commanding
look or gesture. I've noticed that it's not always
the hushed, mute wife who is the more submissive wife. She
may appear to be the quiet spirit, but underneath this facade is
a seething, unhappy female, eating up with self-pity and unrighteous
rebellion. Her unsatisfied eyes are constantly
searching for something and someone better, probing what she thinks
she is missing in her own life. She is like a bird pecking here
and scratching there, constantly looking for food, never satisfied
with what she has in her own husband. This kind of woman is
a danger to other good wives who are successfully striving
to make good marriages and stable homes for their own husbands.
There is nothing sadder than a wife's crying for what she
might have been, or what might have been, projecting her future
years away from her present pain. In so doing, she is missing today's
blessings and today's joys as she walks with the Lord. Dear
wife, I want you to examine yourself as a wife. Are you a scriptural
wife? But you can't be a scriptural
wife, really, unless you know Jesus Christ as your Savior.
I'm under His care. Are you? You have been listening to Just
for Women with Yvonne Waite, sponsored by the Bible for Today
Baptist Church in Collingswood, New Jersey. We invite you to
visit our church Sundays 10 a.m. and 1.30 p.m. and Thursdays at
8 p.m. If you need more information
about our church, our broadcast, or our Savior, Please call us
toll-free, 1-800-JOHN-10-9. The organist and pianist is Mr. Dick Carroll. Your announcer
has been Dr. D. A. Waite, pastor of the Bible
for Today Baptist Church. We invite all you ladies to join
us for our next broadcast, heard twice weekly over this same station,
and hear Yvonne Waite and Just for Women. The End Just for Women. Listen to Mrs. Waite speak from her heart to
your need. Pause a moment and care. Just
for Women is an unusual broadcast for women in the midst of a crooked
and perverse generation. Yvonne Waite deals biblically
with the many issues facing women today. The Bible tells the older
women to speak the things which become sound doctrine. and teach
the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love
their children, to be discreet, keepers at home, good, obedient
to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Listen now to Mrs. Waite speaking just for women. Hi again, here we are discussing
marriage defrauding and other matters especially for women.
You know when I decided to have this radio program I wanted a
program especially for women and I nearly called it that because
I was starting this series writing all about this, things especially
for women. But I thought Just for Women
had a little better ring to it, a little bit more poetic thing.
Then I saw this Just for Feet, Just for Tires, Just for Men,
and I thought, my, I wonder if there's a store called Just for
Women, and I took it by mistake. I'm so glad you listened to us.
I hope that you tell your friends about it, especially this series,
I Have a Burden for Women. for marriages, because I know
marriage is very hard. I found it so. It's a lot different
than being daddy's little girl when you get married. I have
this booklet, and you're welcome to ask for it. It's called Marriage
Defrauding and Other Matters. The number, the Bible for today
number is 2868. That's all of our offers, all
of our things have numbers. So this is the 2,868 thing that
we publish, and we're up into the 3,000s. So call if you want to, or write.
Write 900 Park Avenue, just for women, 900 Park Avenue, Collingswood,
New Jersey, 08108, and I'll be glad to send you one of these.
If you want to help pay for the posters, that's fine. But if
you can't, I really want you to have this, so that your marriage
can start out on a new footing. And maybe you have a good marriage,
and maybe you'd like this for a friend of yours. I don't know,
because I really don't know all of you individually. I wish I
did. I wish I could just come there and sit down in your house.
Isaiah 45 says, I will go before thee and make the crooked places
straight. And there's so much crooked place, so many crooked
places in marriage. And sometimes it's not through
any fault of our own, but just because we're human. Okay now
we've talked about different things and we're on page seven
now. I'll just start right out where
we are or else I'll be chatting away my time. A runaway escape. As a young bride my feelings
would be hurt. It happened often in my marriage
as the years grew and more children were born to me. I'd cry and
cry mentally making plans to run away with the babies. Don't
act so horrified. You've done this too I'm sure.
Or was I the only woman in the world with slight fantasies?
My escape plan from the impossible change of the years went by.
After a while, I jokingly told my husband, if I ever leave you,
I'll let you keep the children, all four of them. That would
fix him. When number five child was born,
I was too old, too tired, too sick, and had too much junk to
go anywhere. This is it, I said to myself.
This is my life. Where I am is who I'll be. I
better do the best I can today. I decided like blind Fanny Crosby
that what could not be cured must be endured. In other words,
I would strive to do something about making my marriage a contended
marriage. Philippians 4.11 I must admit
that upon one occasion, in an unexpected misery moment, I declared
to my mate, in this situation you should be the one to get
out. I'm not going anywhere. Of course he didn't, and I didn't.
When push came to shove, I really didn't want him to go either.
I forgot to read the scriptures in the beginning, 1 Peter 2,
21 and 3 and 1, 2 or something like that. For even here unto
where ye call, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving
us an example that he should follow his steps, that ye should
follow his steps. Now into the third chapter, the
first verse. Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own
husbands, that if any obey not the word, they also may without
the word be won by the conversation of the wives, while they behold
your chaste conversation, that means manner of living, coupled
with fear. Now we get back to where I was.
The Bible says so. Okay. You and I agree marriage
is no picnic. To be sure, the Bible never,
never has painted it so. That's what I like about God's
marriage manual, the Holy Scriptures. It tells it like it is. It tells
the truth about people. When Adam sinned, the Bible said
so. When Abraham did wrong, it said
so. When Peter made a faux pas, we
read of it. If Paul made wrong choices, it
was there in black and white. There is no pretense in the Word
of God about people. An incomplete puzzle. Genesis
118. And the Lord God said, It is
not good that man should be alone. I will make him a help, meet,
fit for him. The missing part. I think that
the Lord is saying in this verse that man by himself is part of
an incomplete puzzle. I'm sure you have known the disappointment
after working on a large complicated jigsaw puzzle to find at the
end of all your labor one piece missing. All that work and one
piece was lost. The puzzle was incomplete. It
was unfinished. God looked at Adam the same way.
He saw that man had a piece missing. To be truthful, God created man
with a missing piece on purpose. Perhaps God thought, I'm going
to make someone who will be fit at him exactly. Someone to complete
the man. That's exactly what he did. He
created woman, the missing part, to complete man. We know that
without woman, man could exist. But without woman, man is not
complete. It is a fact. Now let me meddle
a minute. Does your husband feel like he
is a missing part of his puzzle? Does he have a missing part?
How often are you and your husband alone? How often is he so busy
that he stays up late into the night to finish a project way
past a normal bedtime? How often are you consumed with
a personal task like sewing or cooking or reading or writing
into the wee hours of the night while hubby is in bed sleeping?
How often are you, Mrs. Wife, asleep when he comes to
bed? Are you glad or sad that you were asleep? I realize that
life must go on. It is not Camelot morning, noon,
and night. We must pursue the humdrum as
well as the ecstasy. Intimate lovemaking cannot consume
the 24-hour day. Salaries must be earned. Food
must be cooked. Cars must be driven. Clothes
must be washed. But what part of your daily life
is devoted to your own mate's personal sexual need? I want to ask you that question
again. What part of your daily life is devoted to your own mate's
personal sexual need? Sermon silence on sex. Whether
good or bad, often there is public criticism voiced if folks do
not have private or family devotions. There is disapproval shown when
a couple's church attendance is lack or forsaken. There is
fury preached if church members do not tithe or use the church
envelopes. Yet, when have you or I heard
a sermon excoriating a wife for not being sexually active with
her husband? Or a husband for not making sexual
love to his wife? A personal question. Do you habitually
do work when the house is quiet and sneak into bed hoping he
won't awaken? Or when your husband slips into
bed after a late deacon's meeting, do you lie quietly by his side,
pretending you are asleep so he won't bother you? Just asking. Page 10 of my booklet. The Mutual
Duty Between Mates. 1 Corinthians 7.3 says, Let the
husband render unto the wife due benevolence, her due, and
likewise the wife unto her husband, his due, the meat of the matter.
Let's get right down to the meat of the matter. The subject of
this article is defrauding. D-E-F-R-A-U-D-I-N-G. Remember? Paul was not afraid
to teach the Christians in Corinth about such a topic. Strange to
me that from Corinth, such a morally corrupt city, the believers would
be squeamish about being often with their mates on a regular
basis. Perhaps the Christians there had the mistaken idea that
sexual love was not Christian. Even today some misguided Bible
believers have this opinion. How wrong they are. I wish we
had time and space to go back to Genesis and see the freedom
of married love that was given to Adam and Eve as well as precious
times other Bible characters had one with another in holy
wedlock. Neglect of conjugal rights. So
why should we be fearful to tackle this topic? It is true that a
wife has many duties to her husband and husband have many duties
to his wife besides sexual duties. I shall not name any of these
duties but the one found in the verse at hand in 1 Corinthians
7, 3-5. This marital obligation, and
it is an obligation, is legally called conjugal rights. This
particular sexual duty deals directly with the subject of
the sexual need of one mate for another. It is a New Testament
teaching for the church. It is Pauline. It is biblical.
This biblical charge is one of the hardest commandments given
in Scripture to follow for many, many people. Perhaps it is the
most neglected biblical directive not followed in the word of God
today. I speak this to the shame of born-again married Christian
men and women. Neglect the sensual enjoyment
of married love and any couple, I don't care who they are, is
begging for a dissatisfied spouse. Often such neglect ignites a
sexual spark for someone else's mate or some unattached person
wandering about, leading to adultery, physical or mental adultery,
Matthew 5, 27 to 28. If and nothing else, such ignorance
of marital sexual love leads to a very unhappy home and a
frustrated, dissatisfied couple. We read in Ephesians, Wives,
submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of
the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is
the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject
unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even
as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it, that
he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water
by the word. that he might present it to himself,
a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men
to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his
wife loveth himself, for no man ever yet hateth his own flesh,
but nourisheth and cherisheth even as the Lord the church.
I'm under God's care. Are you? You have been listening to Just
for Women with Yvonne Waite, sponsored by the Bible for Today
Baptist Church in Collingswood, New Jersey. We invite you to
visit our church Sundays, 10 a.m. and 1.30 p.m. and Thursdays at 8 p.m. If you
need more information about our church, our broadcast, or our
Savior, please call us toll-free 1-800-JOHN-10-9. The organist
and pianist is Mr. Dick Carroll. Your announcer
has been Dr. D. A. Waite, pastor of the Bible
for Today Baptist Church. We invite all you ladies to join
us for our next broadcast, heard twice weekly over the same station,
and hear Yvonne Waite and Just for Women. Just for Women. Listen to Mrs. Waite speak from her heart to
your need. Pause a moment and care. Just
for Women is an unusual broadcast for women in the midst of a crooked
and perverse generation. Yvonne Waite deals biblically
with the many issues facing women today. The Bible tells the older
women to speak the things which become sound doctrine. and teach
the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love
their children, to be discreet, keepers at home, good, obedient
to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Listen now to Mrs. Waite speaking just for women. Here we are again studying about
marriage, marriage defrauding and other matters, especially
for women. Ask for this booklet if you want to. Write 900 Park
Avenue, Collingswood, New Jersey 08108 and ask for this booklet
Marriage Defrauding and Other Matters by Yvonne S. Waite. I'd
like you to have it. It will fit into a business size
envelope if you want to send it to someone. And it's, let's
see, what did I say, 41 pages, 41, 42 pages. If you can send a stamp, fine,
but if you can't, that's fine, too, because I want you to have
it. Dear Lord in heaven, I pray for that woman out there who
really needs this message, who's been defrauding her husband and
not being a scriptural life. Dear Father, forgive us when
we have failed Thee, and help us to stand for a scriptural
marriage. In Jesus' name, Amen. Isaiah
45, 2, I will go before Thee and make the crooked places straight.
Now we're on page 11, God-given sexual needs. A woman is a sexual
being as well as a man. Sometimes that surprises if you
evoke. According to scripture, it is the duty of each husband
to fulfill the need of his own wife. Now, I don't know if you've
noticed, but as I write, I try to emphasize own. So when I'm
reading it, I try to emphasize capital O, capital W, capital
N, your own husband, your own wife. We have a tendency to stray
and look around at other people's mates, but we should have eyes
solely for our own. But a wife is not off the hook
by any means. See, I just said according to
scriptures, it's the duty of each husband to fulfill the need
of his own wife. But a wife is not off the hook
by any means, indeed not. It is her duty to fulfill the
sexual needs of her own husband. These needs are God-given. If
we had time and space, I would take you into Genesis and beyond
to see how God encouraged such needs to be fulfilled. Somehow,
someway, couples get this simple biological God-given need all
mixed up in their thinking. Instead of running to it, couples
run from it. Sex is a God-ordained privilege. Yes, I said a privilege, and
God planned. Just let an accident, an illness,
a death, a forced separation, medication, a shortened life
expectancy, deprive you of sexual satisfaction in marriage. and
you will regret every day that you refuse to be what you should
have been as a complete partner to your mate. In my husband-loving
lessons, remember I told you I have a manual called husband-loving
lessons, I always said that sex is the oil that keeps a marriage
humming. Some couples deprive themselves
of such humming harmony by willful neglect and defrauding of one
another. Let me repeat again in case you
didn't get it. This is contrary to the Word
of God. This chapter, remember, this
whole book is called Marriage Defrauding and Other Matters.
Alright, and this particular part is the mutual duty between
mates. Defrauding is contrary to the
Word of God. This part on page 12, excuse
the crinkling, this book is a little messed up so I crinkle it and
you can hear it very well up there in Radio Land. Defraud
ye not, 1 Corinthians 7.5, defraud ye not the other, except it be
with consent for a time, that ye may give yourself to fasting
and prayer, and come together again that Satan tempt you not
for your incontinency. The only marital abstinence. The only abstinence spoken of
by Paul to keep away from one's mate sexually is for devotional
reasons. And that with the consent of
both partners. Look with me at 1 Corinthians
7.5 in the King James Bible. Defraud ye not one the other
except it be with consent for a time that ye, and that's more
than one, may give yourself to fasting and prayer and come together
again that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. It is
of interest to me that the plural pronoun ye is used here. One
of the beauties of the King James Bible is its use of pronouns
in helping the reader to understand to whom the message was given.
In this particular passage, Paul speaks to both the husband and
the wife. He is saying, both of you, do not refrain from sexual
intimacy, defraud you not, with your marriage partner. You see,
intimacy in marriage between husband and his own wife is a
co-responsibility, and with a wife toward her own husband's intimacy
is a co-dependency, and vice versa. Let me say that again.
Intimacy in marriage between a husband and his own wife is
a co-responsibility, and with a wife toward her own husband's
intimacy is a co-dependency, and vice versa. No selfishness
permitted. In verse 4 we see that no selfishness
is permitted. 1 Corinthians 7.4 reads, The
wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband, and likewise
also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
The wife is not supposed to say, you can't be with me, any more
than the husband is to refuse the wife's desires. The norm
is togetherness and caring for the other's sexual needs. If
this is not done, it is disobedience to the Word of God. Disobedience
to the Word of God is called S-I-N, sin. How soon we forget. Don't get upset with me, I didn't
write it. I think I'll read that whole little paragraph over again
because I stumbled around so. The wife is not supposed to say,
you can't be with me, husband, any more than her husband is
to refuse his wife's desires. The norm is togetherness and
caring for the other's sexual needs. If this is done, it is
not done. If this is not done, it is disobedience
to the word of God. Disobedience to the word of God
is called sin. I didn't write this, Paul did
through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. A few years ago
while in Liberia, West Africa, I was shocked to discover that
many 40-year-old wives put their husbands out of their beds. These
women, who are young by our American standards, feel they are old,
past childbearing age, and do not want to be bothered by a
husband's sexual attention. Then the same women wonder why
their men, even professing Christian men, fall into an adulterous
bed or polygamy. How long is the timeout? The
sole conclusion that can be drawn here is that for devotional reasons
only, praying and fasting is a couple not to be with each
other in their special sexual way. Did you get that? The timeout
is only permitted within a marriage when both partners mutually agree
and of course there is no sexual intercourse outside of marriage
smiled upon by God according to the scriptures. Let us now
clearly answer the question, how long is the timeout? The
co-consenting duration is for as many days that either mate
can usually go without food, or for as long as the spouse
who desires the timeout can pray. Let me read that again. The co-consenting
duration is for as many days that either mate can usually
go without food, or for as long as the spouse who desires the
timeout can pray. Wouldn't you guess that such
a time frame would be no more than three days at the most?
Wouldn't you say that was a fair assessment of our normal fasting
and praying abilities? As an aside, my husband has shown
me that most all of the original Greek manuscripts have the Greek
word for fasting in their text, yet the new so-called Bible version
omit that word entirely, an interesting omission in the light of Paul's
teaching. In a healthy marriage merits
situation. I want to address an unhealthy
marital situation right here as I read and write to you. It
concerns the appalling defrauded of married people for long periods
of time, no matter the ages of the couple. I've been told that
certain marriage partners do not come together, not only for
months at a time, but also for years. How can this be named
among us? I'm talking about normal, healthy,
physically well people who attend Bible-preaching churches, who
even use the King James Bible. Is not this sin? Circumstantial
sexual separation. After almost eight years of marriage
and four children, my husband, as a Navy chaplain with the Marines,
served for one year on the island of Okinawa. That was a long,
difficult year for all of us. I'll continue that next time,
I think, because it's a long passage. My mother wrote, cry
all your tears in the morning. Go forth with a smile on the
day. Weep out your burdens to Jesus, knowing he will sustain
all the way. Cry all your doubts and your
heartaches. Tell him your griefs and your fear. Cry all your tears
in the morning, then go forth through the day with his cheer.
Mercy is anew every morning, exchanging His peace for your
need. Bring all your tears to the Savior,
for none other will truly heed. Jesus Christ is the way, the
truth, and the life. No man cometh unto the Father
but by Him. You may have a perfectly good
marriage, but if you do not have the Lord Jesus Christ in your
life, if you have not repented of your sin and received Him
as your Savior, Your marriage, though it may be good, will not
get you to heaven because you're a good wife. That would be works.
We're supposed to be good wives, but being good wives does not
bring us to heaven. I hope you understand that. Being
a good wife is our responsibility, but heaven is not a reward for
being a good wife. Jesus said, Come unto me, all
ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Jesus
wants you. He wants you. He's the Good Shepherd. He wants you for His Lamb. John
the Baptist said, Behold, the Lamb of God that taketh away
the sin of the world. And oh dear heart, you need this
Jesus in your life. I'm in His care. Are you? You have been listening to Just
for Women with Yvonne Waite, sponsored by the Bible for Today
Baptist Church in Collingswood, New Jersey. We invite you to
visit our church Sundays, 10 a.m. and 1.30 p.m. and Thursdays at 8 p.m. If you
need more information about our church, our broadcast, or our
Savior, please call us toll-free 1-800-JOHN-10-9. The organist
and pianist is Mr. Dick Carroll. Your announcer
has been Dr. D. A. Waits, pastor of the Bible
for Today Baptist Church. We invite all you ladies to join
us for our next broadcast, heard twice weekly over this same station,
and hear Yvonne Waite and Just for Women. Just for Women. Listen to Mrs. Waite speak from
her heart to your need. Pause a moment and care. Dressed for Women is an unusual
broadcast for women in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation. Yvonne Waite deals biblically
with the many issues facing women today. The Bible tells the older
women to speak the things which become sound doctrine and teach
the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love
their children, to be discreet, keepers at home, good, obedient
to their own husbands, that the Word of God Be not blasphemed. Listen now to Mrs. Wake speaking just for women. Hi, we're still talking about
marriage defrauding and other matters. We'll be doing that
for a while. I started a section here called
Circumstantial Sexual Separation and then decided I'd better wait
and begin it where I could get both paragraphs in in one lesson.
After eight years of marriage and four children, we had three
boys and a daughter at the time. We now have four boys and a daughter.
My husband, as a Navy chaplain with Marines, served one year
on the island of Okinawa. That was a long, difficult year
for all of us. I have never been quite the same
since. As bad as that was, I've had much worse predicaments come
my way since then. That particular separation, that
year, was one of constant prayer for me to be a modest, discreet,
and faithful wife and a good testimony for my Savior. This
separation was not of my doing nor of my husband's. It was forced
upon us. We took it as the will of God
for us at the time. I learned before then and since
that God's will brings God's grace. The marine wife across
the street in my neighborhood was alone also, as other marine
wives were. This particular woman's husband
had an 18-month stint overseas. During that lonely period, she
became pregnant with another man's child. She was not a Christian,
but being a Christian, unfortunately, does not necessarily make one
immune to sexual promiscuity. I do not have room to give you
the details, although I would like to for your edification,
only to say that she was alone. I was alone. I too felt the pressures
of such solitude and responsibility of being the father and mother
to my brood. I determined to be a true wife
in thought, word, and deed. It was my constant walk of prayer
and behavior for me. 1 Thessalonians 5.17 says, Pray
without ceasing. This is an attitude of the heart.
And this is my prayer today as a much older woman, married much
longer, as a grandmother. that to be a constant walk of
prayer and behavior for me, to be a true life in thought, word
and deed. Now this section on page 15,
remember I told you you could get this booklet if you asked
for it. If you could send postage money it would be helpful. It's
called The Unfaithful Wife, Proverbs 7, 6-27. For the good man is
not at home, he is gone on a long journey. Proverbs 7.19. Unsolved
sexual problems. What really gets me is a discontented,
an unsatisfied wife on the prowl. Perhaps it is because I am a
woman too and know women's wiles and ways that I can usually detect
such a female. This kind of woman would deny
such an accusation, but denial or not, it be true. Perhaps she
has a husband with a physical or emotional problem. He avoids
her sexually by working late hours, or by doting on a relative,
a child, an ailing mother, or a lifelong friend, etc., etc.
Often, he sleeps on the living room couch to avoid a sexual
confrontation, but not always. Instead of the two of them working
off their physical problems and their lack of alone time together,
They both fill their hours with duties and busy work. Her embarrassment
at her inability to help him sexually or vice versa turns
her from him and he from her. They don't talk about it. It
is humiliating. He busies himself in other areas.
She clams up and, if given the opportunity, begins flattering
and babying another man who is not her own husband. Beware of
a wife on the prowl. Oh, she would deny it, but in
her heart of hearts she knows it is true. She is lonely. She
is hurt. Sad to say her own husband is
so wrapped up in his own problems and projects that he is oblivious
to hers. She needs the man's approval
desperately. So she finds someone outside
of her home and outside of her marriage. Woe to that man upon
whom she lights. He won't know what hit him. Watch
your ways. Oh, that he had warning radar
to such a female. Tragically, most of the time
the entrapped man doesn't recognize such a woman. He is flattered.
He innocently assures himself, I'm in control. She needs my
help. In truth, she does need help,
but not from him. Often she sabotages in the name
of Christian love. She asks him Bible questions
or shares spiritual blessings, volunteers to help him with a
church or Sunday school project, offers to babysit, or worse yet,
she asks counsel of him, telling him her children's problems,
her ill parent's problems, or her lack of sexual satisfaction
from her husband. Anything to be near him. She
twines him to her heart. She's happy. He's helping. He
needs her. The sexual rush is on and the
stupid man thinks he is in control. Beware! Beware! A marriage warning. 1 Corinthians 7, 29a and 34. But this I say, brethren, the
time is short. There is a difference also between
a wife and a virgin. But she that is married careth
for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
Deprived Closeness Some married couples are deprived of closeness
for reasons over which they have no control, such as Military
orders, employment changes, imprisonment, severe illness in themselves
or a mate, physical disabilities, medication side effects or physical
or psychological impotence, etc. Sexual dysfunction. Sexual dysfunction
is a tragic loss to most couples and seldom spoken about. Much
effort must be made by these humbled and humiliated people
to regain or compensate for such dysfunction. In my opinion, the
sudden sexual loss of one another or inadvertent defrauding Often
without warning is another reason for immediate obedience to Paul's
words, defraud ye not. In other words, I'm saying right
now, while both of you can function normally, do not defraud because
there could come a time When sexual intimacy will be very
difficult and you'll have to use ingenuity to think of ways
to satisfy one another, life is too short. There comes a time,
due to illness or death, that sexual intercourse would become
impossible for you and your mate. It is sad, but it is true. I
implore you readers to redeem the time. Life is too short to
dilly-dally over stupid emotional games that wives play with their
husbands and husbands display with their wives. Yes, life is
too short. Ask the wife whose husband died
last month. What's marriage about anyhow?
A continual training school. Titus 3, 2, 3 to 5. The age of
women likewise that they in behavior as becometh holiness, not false
accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things, that
they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands,
to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at
home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of
God be not lasting. a slow learner. You would think
that after 50 years of being a missus, it's 52 now, so I must
have written this two years ago, you would think that I would
know all there was to know about marriage, but I confess I don't. The learning of wifemanship never
ceases. I am in constant whirl. I found
myself in a continual training school and some of the lessons
have been very, very hard. Still, God is teaching me from
his word how to be a good wife. To be truthful, I am a slow learner. Personally, I don't know if I
will ever graduate from the course. Because I am one of the older
women, if not aged, I feel that the Lord would have me teach
you some good things. Titus 2.3. Perhaps if I can be
so bold I can help you be a better wife too. A warning. It is an
astonishing fact to me that wives must be taught to love their
husbands, not someone else's husband. Wouldn't you think that
such loving would come naturally? Okay, get out your reading glasses
and read on. Oh yes, I'll try very hard to
keep to God's word. Let me warn you, it will hurt.
Then as you grow up in the Lord, and on in your age, you too can
teach others how to love their husbands. Yes, the scripture
instructs us to teach such lessons. Titus 2.4. Are you surprised?
This is a day of marriage breakups. You and I must sound the call
back to the basics. Let me ask you a personal question.
What's marriage all about, anyhow? A point to remember. Genesis
2.18. John 21.18-22. And the Lord said, It is not
good that the man should be alone. I will make him and help me for
him. Genesis 2.18. Exclusive rules
for wives. Always remember that God's instructions
to a wife are for her and her only. She should not be overly
concerned with God's direction given to her husband. It is the
wife's duty to follow her biblical rules. It is her husband's duty
to follow his rules. If your wife does not respond
to God's command, this is not your fault as a wife. Nor, for
the most part, should she throw up to her husband his disobedience
to the book. In other words, wives, there
are things in the Bible for you as a wife. You should obey these
things that are in the Bible for you as a wife. Yes, there
are things in the Bible for your husband as a husband, and he
should obey them. But you should not say, hey,
you don't do this, you don't do this, you don't do this. God's
word says you should do this, you should do this. No, forget
about his rules and pay attention to your rules and God will bless
you for it. And before long, your husband
may start looking at his own rules because you are obeying
God's book. I'm under God's care. Are you? We have been listening to Just
for Women with Yvonne Waite, sponsored by the Bible for Today
Baptist Church in Collingswood, New Jersey. We invite you to
visit our church Sundays, 10 a.m. and 1.30 p.m. and Thursdays at 8 p.m. If you
need more information about our church, our broadcast, or our
Savior, please call us toll-free 1-800-JOHN-10-9. The organist
and pianist is Mr. Dick Carroll. Your announcer
has been Dr. D. A. Waite, pastor of the Bible
for Today Baptist Church. We invite all you ladies to join
us for our next broadcast, heard twice weekly over the same station,
and hear Yvonne Waite and Just for Women.
Marriage Defrauding #1
| Sermon ID | 12310072125 |
| Duration | 54:20 |
| Date | |
| Category | Radio Broadcast |
| Bible Text | 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 |
| Language | English |
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