Just for Women. Listen to Mrs. Waite speak from her heart to your need. Pause a moment and care. Just for Women is an unusual broadcast for women in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation. Yvonne Waite deals biblically with the many issues facing women today. The Bible tells the older women to speak the things which become sound doctrine. and teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Listen now to Mrs. Waite speaking just for women. Sit down a little bit, I've got to tell you we're going to begin a new series. I wrote a booklet, oh I don't remember if it was last year or the year before, recently in the recent past. It's a little booklet that would fit inside a business envelope, 41 pages, and it's called Marriage Defrauding and Other Matters, especially for Women by Yvonne S. Wade. I'm Mrs. Wade. And I really have been looking forward to talking about marriage with you. In fact, it's one of the reasons I felt the Lord would have me have this program, Just for Women. But I did want to just jump into talking about marriage when I first got acquainted with you because I didn't want to scare you off. And also I have other things on my mind besides marriage. Now I'm no expert. I've been married 52 years but I'm just a learner. I guess I'm a slow learner. But I want to offer this booklet to you. If you want it just ask me for it. And if you want to pay the postage fine. These are already published so You don't have to wait. I just have to apologize. I don't have my Harry Potter review finished. It's almost finished, but I have things to add to it and it just seems like ever since I did that and promised the book to you or the paper, I'm not sure if it will be in booklet form or in manuscript form, I just have not had a minute to do it in. You'll just have to forgive me, but I will do it because I want to finish it. And maybe I'll be able to do it in January. We'll see. You know, the Lord has interruptions in our lives that make our lives what they are. But let's not just go talking about that. It will never get finished. I have the scripture in front of me, Isaiah 45 too, which I want to leave with you. I will go before thee and make the crooked places straight. I will go before thee and make the crooked places straight. In marriage there are many crooked places. Marriage is a big surprise. It's just not all hearts and flowers. And we have to work at marriage, don't we? 1 Peter 2.21 says, For even here unto were ye called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps. The fear of man brings a snare, but whosoever putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe. That's Proverbs 29.25. One night in Vista, California, while introducing myself to people crowding around our Bible for Today book table, a tall man about 40, the father of four, introduced himself to me. It was then that he thanked me on behalf of his wife for my writings. You could have knocked me over with a feather when he said, but most of all, Mrs. Waite, I thank you for writing husband-loving lessons. Now that's an offer that we have here at the Bible for Today. It's number 463, and you can call our John 10-9, 1-800-JOHN-10-9, and we can tell you how you can get that. That's different from this booklet that I said I would send you if you wanted it. This study, Husband Loving Lessons, is a major marriage manual based on scripture, which I wrote years ago. It was then that I told him that I was writing an article on 1 Corinthians 7, but was having doubts how it would be received. I'll never forget how he looked at me and said, Mrs. Waite, you must write it. You must be bold. Personally, I think this booklet is due to be written, but dear reader, the question is, are you ready for it? The subject of this booklet is marriage defrauding and other matters, especially for women. The truth is that the subject of defrauding, a terrible marriage no-no, is from the Apostle Paul himself. I must fess up, years ago my husband was my original teacher concerning this marriage concept. At first I didn't always like the teaching but could not deny it was a marriage principle from God. Though I had graduated from Bible school as well as being with my husband as he studied at seminary and heard many famous Bible teachers, No one taught me what 1 Corinthians 7 was all about before my husband did. I never read this teaching in any other book until after I taught and wrote about it myself. Of course it was to my husband's advantage that I be Pauline in all areas of my life. That's sort of a little joke, isn't it, girl? You will discover that it will be to your mate's advantage also, and as it turned out, it was to mine too. I want you to realize that I do not think I am the perfect wife, mother, or grandmother, and if I had any misconceptions or misconstrued conceptions, otherwise my children and or their spouses have set me straight. No, I do not hold myself up as a perfect role model, but am bold enough to hold high the word of God where you and I as women can find the how-to for marriage. It is a daily challenge. I often become discouraged like you do, but remember this, God is faithful. Let me encourage you to keep pressing on. As my father always said, find a way or make a way. Now this section is called Marriage is no Picnic. 1 Corinthians 7 10-11 And unto the married I commanded, yet not I but the Lord. Let not the wife depart from her husband. But, and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband, and let not the husband put away his wife. I am a moralist. Black and white, that's how I see things. Guess it was my upbringing, the way I was trained. My parents taught me right from wrong. Up was up, and down was down. It was in, in was in, and out was out. When Mother told me that the Bible said the wages of sin is death, I believed. I didn't question. You wouldn't have either if mother were your teacher. If daddy said don't do that, I didn't do that. Why? Because my father said so and I obeyed him. Wasn't I supposed to? I just can't get away from the formula for living of thus saith the Lord. It was inbred within me since birth, especially when it comes to marriage and what the Bible has to say about that subject. One of the first lessons from my parents and grandparents was that marriage was for life. I still believe it even though more than half of the couples And the United States of America don't. Oh, don't get me wrong. Yes, I've wondered about bailing out too. I've experienced many a bump on the matrimonial road. I've been tempted to stop the whole thing and get off, but have not. That's what counts. I didn't. We didn't. Right. I'm old-fashioned like my parents were, but so is God and his word. Personally, I practiced marriage for life ever since I stepped over the border of singlehood into the land of wedded one-fleshism. No bed of roses. Don't get me wrong, not all ran smoothly between the mister and me. Being a man and wife has not always been a bed of roses. My learning scriptural submission to my own husband has been a lifelong process. Our marriage has been a journey full of expression, explosion, exception, extension, exertion, exaltation, exhaustion, exhortation, exclamation, excitation, exaltation, exhortation, excalpation, and examination. I shouldn't have tried to pronounce all those words because you Listen to me all the time. No, I don't pronounce words very well. Our pain has been dulled by tears. Our fears have been numbed by forgiveness. Our will to love one another has been determined by the Word of God. Otherwise we would be dead on the potter's field of matrimonial suicide. Sometimes I wonder how we ever made it to 50 years. Who's in charge here? As I've often said, love is a matter of the mind. My maid and I have strong personalities. We are idea people. Both of us know how to run the show. We know how to take charge and produce a successful project. In a marriage, the Bible leaves no doubt to an honest reader who is to run the family. Do you have a problem with this? It is not the wife only who must yield to the scripture, thus to her own husband's leadership, but the husband is instructed by the same word of God to be the head of his wife and the leader of his family. Keep in mind that submission to one's own husband does not mean a wife is a subservient serf without a brain in her head, afraid of her own shadow, belittled at every turn by her mate. Nor does his headship convey that the husband is to misuse his masculine strength or emotional scorn to belittle his weaker vessels, ability. 1 Peter 3.7 Often for different reasons with different husbands in different circumstances, a man doesn't want to be the head of his wife or the commandant of their family. He doesn't even want to delegate authority for his wife to work under his leadership. He just can't cope. He'd rather let his wife make the decisions totally, to be the mother of his life. A husband's failure to fulfill his role as a scriptural husband is just as sinful as the wife's usurping her husband's biblical assignment, a meek facade. Let me confess to you that a meek and quiet spirit doesn't mean a wife is to be a weak and spineless person any more than a husband, as the jellyfish head of his wife is to have a backbone deformity. I question a marriage where a man never raises his voice, either by sound or commanding look or gesture. I've noticed that it's not always the hushed, mute wife who is the more submissive wife. She may appear to be the quiet spirit, but underneath this facade is a seething, unhappy female, eating up with self-pity and unrighteous rebellion. Her unsatisfied eyes are constantly searching for something and someone better, probing what she thinks she is missing in her own life. She is like a bird pecking here and scratching there, constantly looking for food, never satisfied with what she has in her own husband. This kind of woman is a danger to other good wives who are successfully striving to make good marriages and stable homes for their own husbands. There is nothing sadder than a wife's crying for what she might have been, or what might have been, projecting her future years away from her present pain. In so doing, she is missing today's blessings and today's joys as she walks with the Lord. Dear wife, I want you to examine yourself as a wife. Are you a scriptural wife? But you can't be a scriptural wife, really, unless you know Jesus Christ as your Savior. I'm under His care. Are you? You have been listening to Just for Women with Yvonne Waite, sponsored by the Bible for Today Baptist Church in Collingswood, New Jersey. We invite you to visit our church Sundays 10 a.m. and 1.30 p.m. and Thursdays at 8 p.m. If you need more information about our church, our broadcast, or our Savior, Please call us toll-free, 1-800-JOHN-10-9. The organist and pianist is Mr. Dick Carroll. Your announcer has been Dr. D. A. Waite, pastor of the Bible for Today Baptist Church. We invite all you ladies to join us for our next broadcast, heard twice weekly over this same station, and hear Yvonne Waite and Just for Women. The End Just for Women. Listen to Mrs. Waite speak from her heart to your need. Pause a moment and care. Just for Women is an unusual broadcast for women in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation. Yvonne Waite deals biblically with the many issues facing women today. The Bible tells the older women to speak the things which become sound doctrine. and teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Listen now to Mrs. Waite speaking just for women. Hi again, here we are discussing marriage defrauding and other matters especially for women. You know when I decided to have this radio program I wanted a program especially for women and I nearly called it that because I was starting this series writing all about this, things especially for women. But I thought Just for Women had a little better ring to it, a little bit more poetic thing. Then I saw this Just for Feet, Just for Tires, Just for Men, and I thought, my, I wonder if there's a store called Just for Women, and I took it by mistake. I'm so glad you listened to us. I hope that you tell your friends about it, especially this series, I Have a Burden for Women. for marriages, because I know marriage is very hard. I found it so. It's a lot different than being daddy's little girl when you get married. I have this booklet, and you're welcome to ask for it. It's called Marriage Defrauding and Other Matters. The number, the Bible for today number is 2868. That's all of our offers, all of our things have numbers. So this is the 2,868 thing that we publish, and we're up into the 3,000s. So call if you want to, or write. Write 900 Park Avenue, just for women, 900 Park Avenue, Collingswood, New Jersey, 08108, and I'll be glad to send you one of these. If you want to help pay for the posters, that's fine. But if you can't, I really want you to have this, so that your marriage can start out on a new footing. And maybe you have a good marriage, and maybe you'd like this for a friend of yours. I don't know, because I really don't know all of you individually. I wish I did. I wish I could just come there and sit down in your house. Isaiah 45 says, I will go before thee and make the crooked places straight. And there's so much crooked place, so many crooked places in marriage. And sometimes it's not through any fault of our own, but just because we're human. Okay now we've talked about different things and we're on page seven now. I'll just start right out where we are or else I'll be chatting away my time. A runaway escape. As a young bride my feelings would be hurt. It happened often in my marriage as the years grew and more children were born to me. I'd cry and cry mentally making plans to run away with the babies. Don't act so horrified. You've done this too I'm sure. Or was I the only woman in the world with slight fantasies? My escape plan from the impossible change of the years went by. After a while, I jokingly told my husband, if I ever leave you, I'll let you keep the children, all four of them. That would fix him. When number five child was born, I was too old, too tired, too sick, and had too much junk to go anywhere. This is it, I said to myself. This is my life. Where I am is who I'll be. I better do the best I can today. I decided like blind Fanny Crosby that what could not be cured must be endured. In other words, I would strive to do something about making my marriage a contended marriage. Philippians 4.11 I must admit that upon one occasion, in an unexpected misery moment, I declared to my mate, in this situation you should be the one to get out. I'm not going anywhere. Of course he didn't, and I didn't. When push came to shove, I really didn't want him to go either. I forgot to read the scriptures in the beginning, 1 Peter 2, 21 and 3 and 1, 2 or something like that. For even here unto where ye call, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example that he should follow his steps, that ye should follow his steps. Now into the third chapter, the first verse. Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives, while they behold your chaste conversation, that means manner of living, coupled with fear. Now we get back to where I was. The Bible says so. Okay. You and I agree marriage is no picnic. To be sure, the Bible never, never has painted it so. That's what I like about God's marriage manual, the Holy Scriptures. It tells it like it is. It tells the truth about people. When Adam sinned, the Bible said so. When Abraham did wrong, it said so. When Peter made a faux pas, we read of it. If Paul made wrong choices, it was there in black and white. There is no pretense in the Word of God about people. An incomplete puzzle. Genesis 118. And the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a help, meet, fit for him. The missing part. I think that the Lord is saying in this verse that man by himself is part of an incomplete puzzle. I'm sure you have known the disappointment after working on a large complicated jigsaw puzzle to find at the end of all your labor one piece missing. All that work and one piece was lost. The puzzle was incomplete. It was unfinished. God looked at Adam the same way. He saw that man had a piece missing. To be truthful, God created man with a missing piece on purpose. Perhaps God thought, I'm going to make someone who will be fit at him exactly. Someone to complete the man. That's exactly what he did. He created woman, the missing part, to complete man. We know that without woman, man could exist. But without woman, man is not complete. It is a fact. Now let me meddle a minute. Does your husband feel like he is a missing part of his puzzle? Does he have a missing part? How often are you and your husband alone? How often is he so busy that he stays up late into the night to finish a project way past a normal bedtime? How often are you consumed with a personal task like sewing or cooking or reading or writing into the wee hours of the night while hubby is in bed sleeping? How often are you, Mrs. Wife, asleep when he comes to bed? Are you glad or sad that you were asleep? I realize that life must go on. It is not Camelot morning, noon, and night. We must pursue the humdrum as well as the ecstasy. Intimate lovemaking cannot consume the 24-hour day. Salaries must be earned. Food must be cooked. Cars must be driven. Clothes must be washed. But what part of your daily life is devoted to your own mate's personal sexual need? I want to ask you that question again. What part of your daily life is devoted to your own mate's personal sexual need? Sermon silence on sex. Whether good or bad, often there is public criticism voiced if folks do not have private or family devotions. There is disapproval shown when a couple's church attendance is lack or forsaken. There is fury preached if church members do not tithe or use the church envelopes. Yet, when have you or I heard a sermon excoriating a wife for not being sexually active with her husband? Or a husband for not making sexual love to his wife? A personal question. Do you habitually do work when the house is quiet and sneak into bed hoping he won't awaken? Or when your husband slips into bed after a late deacon's meeting, do you lie quietly by his side, pretending you are asleep so he won't bother you? Just asking. Page 10 of my booklet. The Mutual Duty Between Mates. 1 Corinthians 7.3 says, Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence, her due, and likewise the wife unto her husband, his due, the meat of the matter. Let's get right down to the meat of the matter. The subject of this article is defrauding. D-E-F-R-A-U-D-I-N-G. Remember? Paul was not afraid to teach the Christians in Corinth about such a topic. Strange to me that from Corinth, such a morally corrupt city, the believers would be squeamish about being often with their mates on a regular basis. Perhaps the Christians there had the mistaken idea that sexual love was not Christian. Even today some misguided Bible believers have this opinion. How wrong they are. I wish we had time and space to go back to Genesis and see the freedom of married love that was given to Adam and Eve as well as precious times other Bible characters had one with another in holy wedlock. Neglect of conjugal rights. So why should we be fearful to tackle this topic? It is true that a wife has many duties to her husband and husband have many duties to his wife besides sexual duties. I shall not name any of these duties but the one found in the verse at hand in 1 Corinthians 7, 3-5. This marital obligation, and it is an obligation, is legally called conjugal rights. This particular sexual duty deals directly with the subject of the sexual need of one mate for another. It is a New Testament teaching for the church. It is Pauline. It is biblical. This biblical charge is one of the hardest commandments given in Scripture to follow for many, many people. Perhaps it is the most neglected biblical directive not followed in the word of God today. I speak this to the shame of born-again married Christian men and women. Neglect the sensual enjoyment of married love and any couple, I don't care who they are, is begging for a dissatisfied spouse. Often such neglect ignites a sexual spark for someone else's mate or some unattached person wandering about, leading to adultery, physical or mental adultery, Matthew 5, 27 to 28. If and nothing else, such ignorance of marital sexual love leads to a very unhappy home and a frustrated, dissatisfied couple. We read in Ephesians, Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. that he might present it to himself, a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself, for no man ever yet hateth his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth even as the Lord the church. I'm under God's care. Are you? You have been listening to Just for Women with Yvonne Waite, sponsored by the Bible for Today Baptist Church in Collingswood, New Jersey. We invite you to visit our church Sundays, 10 a.m. and 1.30 p.m. and Thursdays at 8 p.m. If you need more information about our church, our broadcast, or our Savior, please call us toll-free 1-800-JOHN-10-9. The organist and pianist is Mr. Dick Carroll. Your announcer has been Dr. D. A. Waite, pastor of the Bible for Today Baptist Church. We invite all you ladies to join us for our next broadcast, heard twice weekly over the same station, and hear Yvonne Waite and Just for Women. Just for Women. Listen to Mrs. Waite speak from her heart to your need. Pause a moment and care. Just for Women is an unusual broadcast for women in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation. Yvonne Waite deals biblically with the many issues facing women today. The Bible tells the older women to speak the things which become sound doctrine. and teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Listen now to Mrs. Waite speaking just for women. Here we are again studying about marriage, marriage defrauding and other matters, especially for women. Ask for this booklet if you want to. Write 900 Park Avenue, Collingswood, New Jersey 08108 and ask for this booklet Marriage Defrauding and Other Matters by Yvonne S. Waite. I'd like you to have it. It will fit into a business size envelope if you want to send it to someone. And it's, let's see, what did I say, 41 pages, 41, 42 pages. If you can send a stamp, fine, but if you can't, that's fine, too, because I want you to have it. Dear Lord in heaven, I pray for that woman out there who really needs this message, who's been defrauding her husband and not being a scriptural life. Dear Father, forgive us when we have failed Thee, and help us to stand for a scriptural marriage. In Jesus' name, Amen. Isaiah 45, 2, I will go before Thee and make the crooked places straight. Now we're on page 11, God-given sexual needs. A woman is a sexual being as well as a man. Sometimes that surprises if you evoke. According to scripture, it is the duty of each husband to fulfill the need of his own wife. Now, I don't know if you've noticed, but as I write, I try to emphasize own. So when I'm reading it, I try to emphasize capital O, capital W, capital N, your own husband, your own wife. We have a tendency to stray and look around at other people's mates, but we should have eyes solely for our own. But a wife is not off the hook by any means. See, I just said according to scriptures, it's the duty of each husband to fulfill the need of his own wife. But a wife is not off the hook by any means, indeed not. It is her duty to fulfill the sexual needs of her own husband. These needs are God-given. If we had time and space, I would take you into Genesis and beyond to see how God encouraged such needs to be fulfilled. Somehow, someway, couples get this simple biological God-given need all mixed up in their thinking. Instead of running to it, couples run from it. Sex is a God-ordained privilege. Yes, I said a privilege, and God planned. Just let an accident, an illness, a death, a forced separation, medication, a shortened life expectancy, deprive you of sexual satisfaction in marriage. and you will regret every day that you refuse to be what you should have been as a complete partner to your mate. In my husband-loving lessons, remember I told you I have a manual called husband-loving lessons, I always said that sex is the oil that keeps a marriage humming. Some couples deprive themselves of such humming harmony by willful neglect and defrauding of one another. Let me repeat again in case you didn't get it. This is contrary to the Word of God. This chapter, remember, this whole book is called Marriage Defrauding and Other Matters. Alright, and this particular part is the mutual duty between mates. Defrauding is contrary to the Word of God. This part on page 12, excuse the crinkling, this book is a little messed up so I crinkle it and you can hear it very well up there in Radio Land. Defraud ye not, 1 Corinthians 7.5, defraud ye not the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourself to fasting and prayer, and come together again that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. The only marital abstinence. The only abstinence spoken of by Paul to keep away from one's mate sexually is for devotional reasons. And that with the consent of both partners. Look with me at 1 Corinthians 7.5 in the King James Bible. Defraud ye not one the other except it be with consent for a time that ye, and that's more than one, may give yourself to fasting and prayer and come together again that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. It is of interest to me that the plural pronoun ye is used here. One of the beauties of the King James Bible is its use of pronouns in helping the reader to understand to whom the message was given. In this particular passage, Paul speaks to both the husband and the wife. He is saying, both of you, do not refrain from sexual intimacy, defraud you not, with your marriage partner. You see, intimacy in marriage between husband and his own wife is a co-responsibility, and with a wife toward her own husband's intimacy is a co-dependency, and vice versa. Let me say that again. Intimacy in marriage between a husband and his own wife is a co-responsibility, and with a wife toward her own husband's intimacy is a co-dependency, and vice versa. No selfishness permitted. In verse 4 we see that no selfishness is permitted. 1 Corinthians 7.4 reads, The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband, and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. The wife is not supposed to say, you can't be with me, any more than the husband is to refuse the wife's desires. The norm is togetherness and caring for the other's sexual needs. If this is not done, it is disobedience to the Word of God. Disobedience to the Word of God is called S-I-N, sin. How soon we forget. Don't get upset with me, I didn't write it. I think I'll read that whole little paragraph over again because I stumbled around so. The wife is not supposed to say, you can't be with me, husband, any more than her husband is to refuse his wife's desires. The norm is togetherness and caring for the other's sexual needs. If this is done, it is not done. If this is not done, it is disobedience to the word of God. Disobedience to the word of God is called sin. I didn't write this, Paul did through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. A few years ago while in Liberia, West Africa, I was shocked to discover that many 40-year-old wives put their husbands out of their beds. These women, who are young by our American standards, feel they are old, past childbearing age, and do not want to be bothered by a husband's sexual attention. Then the same women wonder why their men, even professing Christian men, fall into an adulterous bed or polygamy. How long is the timeout? The sole conclusion that can be drawn here is that for devotional reasons only, praying and fasting is a couple not to be with each other in their special sexual way. Did you get that? The timeout is only permitted within a marriage when both partners mutually agree and of course there is no sexual intercourse outside of marriage smiled upon by God according to the scriptures. Let us now clearly answer the question, how long is the timeout? The co-consenting duration is for as many days that either mate can usually go without food, or for as long as the spouse who desires the timeout can pray. Let me read that again. The co-consenting duration is for as many days that either mate can usually go without food, or for as long as the spouse who desires the timeout can pray. Wouldn't you guess that such a time frame would be no more than three days at the most? Wouldn't you say that was a fair assessment of our normal fasting and praying abilities? As an aside, my husband has shown me that most all of the original Greek manuscripts have the Greek word for fasting in their text, yet the new so-called Bible version omit that word entirely, an interesting omission in the light of Paul's teaching. In a healthy marriage merits situation. I want to address an unhealthy marital situation right here as I read and write to you. It concerns the appalling defrauded of married people for long periods of time, no matter the ages of the couple. I've been told that certain marriage partners do not come together, not only for months at a time, but also for years. How can this be named among us? I'm talking about normal, healthy, physically well people who attend Bible-preaching churches, who even use the King James Bible. Is not this sin? Circumstantial sexual separation. After almost eight years of marriage and four children, my husband, as a Navy chaplain with the Marines, served for one year on the island of Okinawa. That was a long, difficult year for all of us. I'll continue that next time, I think, because it's a long passage. My mother wrote, cry all your tears in the morning. Go forth with a smile on the day. Weep out your burdens to Jesus, knowing he will sustain all the way. Cry all your doubts and your heartaches. Tell him your griefs and your fear. Cry all your tears in the morning, then go forth through the day with his cheer. Mercy is anew every morning, exchanging His peace for your need. Bring all your tears to the Savior, for none other will truly heed. Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, and the life. No man cometh unto the Father but by Him. You may have a perfectly good marriage, but if you do not have the Lord Jesus Christ in your life, if you have not repented of your sin and received Him as your Savior, Your marriage, though it may be good, will not get you to heaven because you're a good wife. That would be works. We're supposed to be good wives, but being good wives does not bring us to heaven. I hope you understand that. Being a good wife is our responsibility, but heaven is not a reward for being a good wife. Jesus said, Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Jesus wants you. He wants you. He's the Good Shepherd. He wants you for His Lamb. John the Baptist said, Behold, the Lamb of God that taketh away the sin of the world. And oh dear heart, you need this Jesus in your life. I'm in His care. Are you? You have been listening to Just for Women with Yvonne Waite, sponsored by the Bible for Today Baptist Church in Collingswood, New Jersey. We invite you to visit our church Sundays, 10 a.m. and 1.30 p.m. and Thursdays at 8 p.m. If you need more information about our church, our broadcast, or our Savior, please call us toll-free 1-800-JOHN-10-9. The organist and pianist is Mr. Dick Carroll. Your announcer has been Dr. D. A. Waits, pastor of the Bible for Today Baptist Church. We invite all you ladies to join us for our next broadcast, heard twice weekly over this same station, and hear Yvonne Waite and Just for Women. Just for Women. Listen to Mrs. Waite speak from her heart to your need. Pause a moment and care. Dressed for Women is an unusual broadcast for women in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation. Yvonne Waite deals biblically with the many issues facing women today. The Bible tells the older women to speak the things which become sound doctrine and teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God Be not blasphemed. Listen now to Mrs. Wake speaking just for women. Hi, we're still talking about marriage defrauding and other matters. We'll be doing that for a while. I started a section here called Circumstantial Sexual Separation and then decided I'd better wait and begin it where I could get both paragraphs in in one lesson. After eight years of marriage and four children, we had three boys and a daughter at the time. We now have four boys and a daughter. My husband, as a Navy chaplain with Marines, served one year on the island of Okinawa. That was a long, difficult year for all of us. I have never been quite the same since. As bad as that was, I've had much worse predicaments come my way since then. That particular separation, that year, was one of constant prayer for me to be a modest, discreet, and faithful wife and a good testimony for my Savior. This separation was not of my doing nor of my husband's. It was forced upon us. We took it as the will of God for us at the time. I learned before then and since that God's will brings God's grace. The marine wife across the street in my neighborhood was alone also, as other marine wives were. This particular woman's husband had an 18-month stint overseas. During that lonely period, she became pregnant with another man's child. She was not a Christian, but being a Christian, unfortunately, does not necessarily make one immune to sexual promiscuity. I do not have room to give you the details, although I would like to for your edification, only to say that she was alone. I was alone. I too felt the pressures of such solitude and responsibility of being the father and mother to my brood. I determined to be a true wife in thought, word, and deed. It was my constant walk of prayer and behavior for me. 1 Thessalonians 5.17 says, Pray without ceasing. This is an attitude of the heart. And this is my prayer today as a much older woman, married much longer, as a grandmother. that to be a constant walk of prayer and behavior for me, to be a true life in thought, word and deed. Now this section on page 15, remember I told you you could get this booklet if you asked for it. If you could send postage money it would be helpful. It's called The Unfaithful Wife, Proverbs 7, 6-27. For the good man is not at home, he is gone on a long journey. Proverbs 7.19. Unsolved sexual problems. What really gets me is a discontented, an unsatisfied wife on the prowl. Perhaps it is because I am a woman too and know women's wiles and ways that I can usually detect such a female. This kind of woman would deny such an accusation, but denial or not, it be true. Perhaps she has a husband with a physical or emotional problem. He avoids her sexually by working late hours, or by doting on a relative, a child, an ailing mother, or a lifelong friend, etc., etc. Often, he sleeps on the living room couch to avoid a sexual confrontation, but not always. Instead of the two of them working off their physical problems and their lack of alone time together, They both fill their hours with duties and busy work. Her embarrassment at her inability to help him sexually or vice versa turns her from him and he from her. They don't talk about it. It is humiliating. He busies himself in other areas. She clams up and, if given the opportunity, begins flattering and babying another man who is not her own husband. Beware of a wife on the prowl. Oh, she would deny it, but in her heart of hearts she knows it is true. She is lonely. She is hurt. Sad to say her own husband is so wrapped up in his own problems and projects that he is oblivious to hers. She needs the man's approval desperately. So she finds someone outside of her home and outside of her marriage. Woe to that man upon whom she lights. He won't know what hit him. Watch your ways. Oh, that he had warning radar to such a female. Tragically, most of the time the entrapped man doesn't recognize such a woman. He is flattered. He innocently assures himself, I'm in control. She needs my help. In truth, she does need help, but not from him. Often she sabotages in the name of Christian love. She asks him Bible questions or shares spiritual blessings, volunteers to help him with a church or Sunday school project, offers to babysit, or worse yet, she asks counsel of him, telling him her children's problems, her ill parent's problems, or her lack of sexual satisfaction from her husband. Anything to be near him. She twines him to her heart. She's happy. He's helping. He needs her. The sexual rush is on and the stupid man thinks he is in control. Beware! Beware! A marriage warning. 1 Corinthians 7, 29a and 34. But this I say, brethren, the time is short. There is a difference also between a wife and a virgin. But she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. Deprived Closeness Some married couples are deprived of closeness for reasons over which they have no control, such as Military orders, employment changes, imprisonment, severe illness in themselves or a mate, physical disabilities, medication side effects or physical or psychological impotence, etc. Sexual dysfunction. Sexual dysfunction is a tragic loss to most couples and seldom spoken about. Much effort must be made by these humbled and humiliated people to regain or compensate for such dysfunction. In my opinion, the sudden sexual loss of one another or inadvertent defrauding Often without warning is another reason for immediate obedience to Paul's words, defraud ye not. In other words, I'm saying right now, while both of you can function normally, do not defraud because there could come a time When sexual intimacy will be very difficult and you'll have to use ingenuity to think of ways to satisfy one another, life is too short. There comes a time, due to illness or death, that sexual intercourse would become impossible for you and your mate. It is sad, but it is true. I implore you readers to redeem the time. Life is too short to dilly-dally over stupid emotional games that wives play with their husbands and husbands display with their wives. Yes, life is too short. Ask the wife whose husband died last month. What's marriage about anyhow? A continual training school. Titus 3, 2, 3 to 5. The age of women likewise that they in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things, that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not lasting. a slow learner. You would think that after 50 years of being a missus, it's 52 now, so I must have written this two years ago, you would think that I would know all there was to know about marriage, but I confess I don't. The learning of wifemanship never ceases. I am in constant whirl. I found myself in a continual training school and some of the lessons have been very, very hard. Still, God is teaching me from his word how to be a good wife. To be truthful, I am a slow learner. Personally, I don't know if I will ever graduate from the course. Because I am one of the older women, if not aged, I feel that the Lord would have me teach you some good things. Titus 2.3. Perhaps if I can be so bold I can help you be a better wife too. A warning. It is an astonishing fact to me that wives must be taught to love their husbands, not someone else's husband. Wouldn't you think that such loving would come naturally? Okay, get out your reading glasses and read on. Oh yes, I'll try very hard to keep to God's word. Let me warn you, it will hurt. Then as you grow up in the Lord, and on in your age, you too can teach others how to love their husbands. Yes, the scripture instructs us to teach such lessons. Titus 2.4. Are you surprised? This is a day of marriage breakups. You and I must sound the call back to the basics. Let me ask you a personal question. What's marriage all about, anyhow? A point to remember. Genesis 2.18. John 21.18-22. And the Lord said, It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him and help me for him. Genesis 2.18. Exclusive rules for wives. Always remember that God's instructions to a wife are for her and her only. She should not be overly concerned with God's direction given to her husband. It is the wife's duty to follow her biblical rules. It is her husband's duty to follow his rules. If your wife does not respond to God's command, this is not your fault as a wife. Nor, for the most part, should she throw up to her husband his disobedience to the book. In other words, wives, there are things in the Bible for you as a wife. You should obey these things that are in the Bible for you as a wife. Yes, there are things in the Bible for your husband as a husband, and he should obey them. But you should not say, hey, you don't do this, you don't do this, you don't do this. God's word says you should do this, you should do this. No, forget about his rules and pay attention to your rules and God will bless you for it. And before long, your husband may start looking at his own rules because you are obeying God's book. I'm under God's care. Are you? We have been listening to Just for Women with Yvonne Waite, sponsored by the Bible for Today Baptist Church in Collingswood, New Jersey. We invite you to visit our church Sundays, 10 a.m. and 1.30 p.m. and Thursdays at 8 p.m. If you need more information about our church, our broadcast, or our Savior, please call us toll-free 1-800-JOHN-10-9. The organist and pianist is Mr. Dick Carroll. Your announcer has been Dr. D. A. Waite, pastor of the Bible for Today Baptist Church. We invite all you ladies to join us for our next broadcast, heard twice weekly over the same station, and hear Yvonne Waite and Just for Women.