Ephesians chapter 4 verse 26 Ephesians chapter 4 verse 26 This is lesson number 9 In the subject of building below the baseline now we've been learning through this series that the most important quality of a structure is the foundation and There's a reason we have nine, ten, we have ten lessons on this subject, Building Below the Baseline. And that reason is because it's a very important concept. These things that happen below the baseline, the part of you that only God can see, are the things that are going to come out of you when situations are tough. And if that's not there already, then you're going to do exactly what Satan would have you to do and not what God would have you to do. So it's important that we establish these things quickly before the situations arise where we need to. You've got to make the decision right now. You're going to build that baseline. You're going to lay that foundation so that you have something to stand on when the hard times come. That's why we're working on this today. Now, in this lesson, we're going to be discussing an area essential to a strong Christian life as well as strong relationships. Now that concept, and this is the title of the message here, that concept is the concept of forgiveness. It's a great last lesson to end 2018, taking us into 2019. It's forgiveness. All of us will have times when we're hurt by others. But here's the thing, what we do with that hurt will determine if we are strengthening our foundation or if we are weakening our foundation. bitterness is one of the great hidden sins that's going to hinder your relationship with god family members other christians and get this unsaved people unsaved people on the other hand forgiveness is one of the greatest restores of relationships that we have it brings freedom to the christian who puts it into their foundation forgiveness brings freedom to the christian that puts it into their foundation a really good illustration of this and i'm just this is probably the best illustration i have the morning we're having a right up front and it's a fairly familiar one in in our stripe of christianity it's jim and elizabeth elliot anyone familiar with them yeah they're the missionaries to they were missionaries to a primitive tribal people known as the aka indians Now, most of us are familiar, if you're not, I'll go through a brief history. After a seemingly, and most people don't know this part, even if you know about them, their first meeting with these people was seemingly friendly. They had a good first contact with these people. It was promising. They said, hey, we see no reason why we can't be here with these people. After a seemingly friendly first contact with a lot of the Indians, Jim and four other missionaries were speared to death upon entrance to the island for their mainstay. Now, to many people's surprise, Elizabeth and her 10-month-old daughter chose, instead of going home, to return to live with the tribe and eventually won many of those people to Christ. There's a church there today. Those people are reached this very moment. And actually, interesting, I was told this. Those people came to, Pastor Folger told me this, they came to Cleveland Baptist in the 70s. Jim Elliot's wife remarried, and a lot of them came up to Cleveland Baptist in the 70s, and they gave their testimonies. They were on tour. Isn't that incredible? People that speared this woman's husband to death in the 50s. In the 70s, they're touring the United States together arm in arm. Isn't that wonderful? People often asked her how she could forgive these people who murdered her husband. Now, her response, and I quote, was, to the world at large, this was a sad waste of five young lives. But God has his plan and purpose in all things. The prayers of the widows themselves are for the Akkas. And this was powerful to me. She said, we look forward to the day when these savages will join us in Christian praise. this kind of response only happened to elizabeth because she built forgiveness into her foundation before that situation happened you don't choose forgiveness in a moment with something like that happens it doesn't just happen it has to already be there so relationships in christian homes and churches are very often destroyed because of someone who Someone who nurtured an unforgiving spirit. Although we often deny that there's anything wrong going on, we can see the unforgiveness building in our lives. And when we avoid someone, or gossip against someone, or remove ourselves from fellowships with another person, that's the evidence of the unforgiveness. Now, whether or not you're currently struggling with bitterness, all of us will have to, at times, deal with somebody who has hurt us. Every single person in this room, at some point, you're going to deal with somebody who has hurt you. Everyone. It's at these times that we have to build forgiveness below the baseline. Now in Ephesians chapter 4, verse 26 and 32, we get a pattern from God on how to help us deal with the hurts that life gives us. Now in this lesson, we're going to do, and forgive me, four points, not three. Four points. Don't nobody leave. No one get up and leave on me. Four points. on specific ways that we can respond with forgiveness. Point number one. Very simple outline. Number, letter, letter, number, letter, letter, number, letter, letter, number, letter, letter. Everyone got it? No? Great. All right. So the first number. number one point number one the first thing we have to do is we have to reject satan's temptation we have to reject saint's temptation what we do when someone's hurt us the first thing we have to do is determine what we're not going to do which is yield the saint's temptations on us the devil has many darts and a lot of arrows that he uses to shoot at us in these moments and one of his favorites is the arrow of a hurt spirit Now, in our most vulnerable moments of pain, he tempts us to respond in very unhelpful, very hurtful ways. Well, how does he do that? Well, the first way, number one, letter A, to sin in anger. The first way he tries to tempt us to sin in our anger. Ephesians 4.26 says, be ye angry and sin not. be angry and sin not now in that moment of her comes our natural reaction is to respond in anger now that response so we can give us damage we're gonna give them damage and you damage them that damages your testimony James chapter 1 verse 20 says for the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God it is true that there are some instances in which anger is righteous and there are examples of that in the Bible even Jesus demonstrated anger at times the book of Mark chapter 3 verse 5 says and when he had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, he saith unto the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it out, and his hand was restored whole as the other." Jesus' anger, however, was always perfectly directed at something. It was directed at sin. And it caused him to uphold righteousness as a result of that. Now, he wasn't angry because someone had violated his personal rights, like we get angry when someone violates our personal rights. His anger was directed at sin. And oftentimes we see Jesus freely yielded his rights. You go to Isaiah chapter 53 verse 7. It says he was oppressed and he was afflicted Yet he opened not his mouth He is brought as a lamb to the slaughter and as a sheep before her shears is dumb. So he openeth not his mouth Now Matthew Henry, he's a pretty famous Bible commentator. He said and I quote if we would be angry and not sin We must be angry at nothing but sin. I good statement right the second part of that is and we should be more jealous for the glory of God than for any interest or reputation of our own that was a little bit tougher to swallow huh that one's tough now that's the kind of anger that Jesus displayed every kind of anger that you saw displayed by Jesus was either directed at people who are going against his father or people going against his father or people going against his people nothing was directed at somebody is some kind of a personal vendetta now our problem with anger is that it usually leads us towards sin because we don't check ourselves when wrongfully angered a man or a woman we'd often do things that we wouldn't even think we were capable of doing the reason for this is that our anger is usually self-centered We are angry because our feelings were hurt, our rights were violated, or our efforts were unrecognized. Now, that's all rooted in something. Benjamin Franklin made an astute observation about anger. Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame. Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame. Now, we need to be aware that the devil's going to tempt us with that anger. we need to be aware when we're in that anger the temptation how does anger come about it doesn't come about slowly oftentimes a lot of time something happens to us and we just feel this motor running you know in that moment that's where satan has his strongest hook in us if we're not guarded against it already so we gotta be careful in that moment he's gonna try to get us angry what's the second thing he's gonna do well Number one, A. Now we're on B. He's going to get us, he's trying to get us to what? Stay in anger. Satan does not just want us to get angry with someone, he wants us to stay angry. That's why God commands us to not allow anger to linger in our hearts, allow that root of bitterness to come in. Ephesians chapter four, verse 26, says, let not the sun go down upon your wrath. Now let's define wrath. Wrath is defined as intense anger. It often has the idea of vengeance behind it, and it's when we are angry and want to make someone pay for how they've hurt us. That's wrath. Satan recognizes that as long as we're angry at somebody, we're immobilized spiritually. By extension of you being immobilized spiritually, this church becomes immobilized spiritually, if your beef is with somebody in this church. Bible says, don't let the sun go down upon your wrath. Never, and I guess now I'm speaking more in terms of marital conflict, but it's very important never be too proud to do whatever is necessary now when i say that whatever's necessary within the realms of christian living obviously never do never be too proud to do whatever's necessary at the end of the day to make sure that all is right in your relationships don't go to bed mad at people who has the energy for that do you i don't is everything i can do just to go through my day let alone having to worry about keeping the flames of anger burning for somebody else who has the energy for that i don't i i don't know if you do i do not now when we make it our habit to go to bed angry there's no limits to the insane things that we would be willing to do because when we are operating in anger we are operating under satan's control if we're operating strictly in anger When we allow anger to seethe in us, it's going to boil. And in so many other ways, God wants us to address that the right way. He wants us to address problems graciously instead of harboring hurt and becoming bitter. If you go to Hebrews 12, verse 15, it says, looking diligently, lest any man fail of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you and thereby many be defiled. Now, if you look at Hebrews 12, 15 and you take it to heart, Ask the Holy Spirit to show you if there's any root of bitterness springing up inside of you about anything. Because if there is, it's going to keep you from living the life that you need to be living. Ephesians 4.27 tells us, neither give place to the devil. This word place is the Greek word topos, from which we get our word topography. It means any portion or space marked off. It's like saying to God, this place right here, this little box in my life, you can't have that, God. That's for Satan. Now, how many of us have actively said that? Probably none of us. How many of us have actively done that? Probably all of us. Now, none of us would consciously give a portion of our lives to the devil, but when we allow anger to linger in our hearts, what we're doing is that we are inviting the devil to come in and influence our lives. Now, Romans 13, 14 tells us to not make provision, basically to not allow opportunities to satisfy our flesh. Romans 13, 14 says, but put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ and make not provision for the flesh to fulfill the lust thereof. Lingering anger that turns into bitterness provides plenty of opportunity for us to respond in relationships the wrong way. There's no lack of opportunity to make bad decisions when we have bitterness inside of us, when we yield to the flesh. The Apostle Paul recognized that the devil uses this unforgiveness to get a foothold or an advantage in somebody's life He decided now this was in 2nd Corinthians chapter 2 verse 10 He decided according to that to always forgive another because he didn't want to give Satan an advantage over him or them 2nd Corinthians chapter 2 verse 10 says verse 10 the Bible says to whom you forgive anything I forgive also for if I forgave anything to whom I forgave it for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ verse 11 lest Satan should get an advantage of us for we are not ignorant of his devices Doesn't matter how long we've been Christian. We can all fall prey to that, can't we? Yes, everyone say yes. Give me some nods or some shakes. We're pretty tired, amen, yeah. Someone once said, when you forgive, you set two people free, and the second person's yourself. That's good. For your sake, for your family's sake, don't let the sun go down upon your wrath. Marriage and homes and friendships that fall apart don't do so overnight. In a lot of cases, friends, it's a lot of nights stacked together where you made the conscious decision to go to bed angry about someone or something. And that causes a root of bitterness, which causes you to operate in the flesh, which causes you to compartmentalize a part of yourself from God, which can lead to nothing but trouble. We have to reject Satan's temptation to sin and anger, and we have to reject his temptation to stay in anger. God has a better way for us. He does something for us. He did something for us. He offered us grace. Point number two. We get the pattern. Do I have to keep doing this weird finger thing? So point number, we got it? Great, okay. Point number two, we need to reflect biblical grace. we need to reflect biblical grace when someone wrongs us this is our opportunity to receive the grace of god and to respond to them with that grace now if he's in store notes two ways in which we can respond in grace now the first one letter a is in our actions if he's in sports when he says let him that stole steal no more but rather let him labor working with his hands the thing which is good that he may have to give to him that needeth now at first glance it might seem like Ephesians 428 is unrelated to the first to the rest of the passage yet the verse before the verses before and after deal with relationships in responding to others when wrong this verse is not unrelated Let's look at it a little bit more closely. So notice the multiple actions that are being mentioned in Ephesians 4, chapter 28. No more stealing, labor, work, giving. Responding correctly to the difficulties or offenses that are a part of life will soon be through our actions. God is telling us to reject allowing anger to have a hold in our hearts. That's verse 26. Properly and biblically dealing with that anger. That's verse 27. And that will change the way that we live and operate. Now that's verse 28. Now in this verse, stealing is being used as a parallel word picture of who we are when we do not reflect God's grace and we remain in our anger. Now this is a key statement right here. Stealing and unforgiveness both disregard the command of God as we reject God's grace. Additionally, stealing is a form of pride. believing i should have something which i do not have i wanted i think i should have it i'm going to take it from you whether or not you've earned it whether or not i deserve it anger is also another form of pride believing that i should be treated a way differently than i've been treated you know there's a saying i love this saying Um, former pastor of mine used to say it all the time. People would insult him and he had the same statement every single time. Well, you know, if you knew me like God knew me, you'd probably have worse to say. And that's true. And that's true today. If you knew me like God knew me, whatever bad opinion you have of me would get worse. If you knew Doug like God knew Doug, Oh, i'll get off that i don't know what i would say and that's the loudest laughing one in the room class thank you thanks for the help if you knew me like god knew me you'd think worse of me than you do and that's a fact and that's true of all of us i would suspect our pride demands that we get what we think we deserve i'm sorry our pride demands that we get what we think we deserve that's what our pride demands On a material level, that insistence leads to theft. On an emotional level, it leads to anger. God tells us instead to use our actions to give grace to others, to labor so that we have wherewithal to give to others in need. So that's letter A, actions. Letter B, the second way to reflect biblical grace is in our words. I don't know if I completely like the way that's lined up, because our words come first, our actions come second. Our thoughts become our words, become our actions. Nevertheless, letter number B is, the second way that we can reflect biblical grace is in our words. Now, the area in which we most struggle to respond with grace to those who have hurt us is usually in our words. Ephesians 429 says, let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Now the word corrupt means rotten, putrefied, unfit for use. The word corrupt means rotten, putrefied, unfit for use. When we hold unforgiveness in our hearts, it always comes out of our mouths. It may take a little bit of time before it does, but if it starts here, friend, it's eventually gonna come out here. That's a fact. James chapter three, verse 10 says, out of the same mouth proceeds blessings and cursings. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? Just like a little bit of poison is going to contaminate an entire water source, a little bit of bitterness is going to corrupt everything inside of you. What ought to proceed out of mouths is good communication for the use of edifying. Now the word edifying means to cause something to grow. Our words should be good for others. Bitter and unforgiving words do not benefit anyone. Now notice I didn't say correcting and loving words. Correcting and loving words are great. They help us grow too. That's a form of edifying. Bitter words that come from a heart of anger because how you feel about something can only cause something to be crumbled or destroyed. That's what bitter words will do. We can't speak like that. We live in a culture that's really good at tearing things down. now as christians we ought to be busy restoring we are to spend our time trying to build up the things that this world is teared up torn down in people that's our job we have a ministry of restoration with people The world has torn these people down, has taught them lies, has lied to them about what the good things in life are, has stripped them of their morality, has stripped them of God's love. And when they come in here or when we go out to see them, they are broken. Our job is to restore them in grace. We can't do that with words of bitterness. We can't do that with looks of judgment. We can only do that with a heart of love. Now, is there a corrective element that needs to happen? Sure. There is corrective elements that need to happen when we deal with people, obviously. But even that ought to be rooted in love. Edification is something every person needs. We need to be in the business of edifying because each of us are ordained by God to be ministers of grace. Our words are to bring grace to those who hear us. And this is a key statement right here. If you can get this, you'll get 2019 in a cinch. mature Christian takes a potentially big problem and makes it smaller an Immature Christian takes a small matter and makes it bigger Think about that for a second if you get that if you can hold on to that you'll get 2019 That year will be in that year will be understood by you if you can learn to do that. I god wants us to bestow the gift of goodwill and loving kindness to others pouring grace on a situation brings a peaceful result to us now naturally our nature tends to be better at finding the negative than the positive how many of us fancy ourselves a movie critic or a critic of anything for that matter we think we're an expert because we can point out all the flaws what is that going to help anything It doesn't help anything. We're just being cynical critics about something that we don't need to be cynical about. The best example of ministering grace in our speech was the Lord Jesus Christ. You go to Luke chapter 4 verse 22. Luke chapter 4 verse 22. The Bible says in Luke chapter 4 verse 22 and all bear him witness and wondered at the gracious words which Proceeded out of his mouth and they said is this not is not this Joseph's son John chapter 4 verse 7 or no. I'm sorry John chapter 7. So John chapter 7 verses 1st 46 and said the officers answered never man spake like this man now we need to speak in kind wise truthful and encouraging words that's going to minister grace to people because that's what our Lord did now when we are at odds with someone we use the cliche I'm going to give them a piece of my mind I had a pastor tell me well that's why you don't have much left It's true. You keep giving people pieces of your mind, you're not going to have much left for yourself. We need to learn how to... Proud people cannot minister grace. This is why, in that initial moment of hurt, when we're initially hurt, when we feel that motor running, when we just... In that moment, we need to reject the temptation to respond in proud anger, slow things down, take a breath, or we won't be able to respond in humble grace. I want you to consider a couple of hypothetical situations and the effects that graciousness could have on them. Maybe you can relate. I know I can relate to a couple of these. These are good. So what would happen if, number one, first scenario, if you went to your unfair boss at the end of a hard day and you shook his hand and you said, sir, I'm happy for all you do around here. Thank you. the blows mind you would even know how to respond he probably responded anger just based out of pure confusion i've seen that number two what would happen if you wrote a conglomeration conglomerate or a letter to somebody who got a promotion over you or a pair of a child who got a spot in something that your chip was done in poor What would happen if you sent a real nice thank you note to the teacher who had to give bad news about your child's grades rather than scolding them like they're the problem? A mature Christian takes a big matter and makes it smaller. An immature Christian takes a small matter and makes it bigger than it ought to be. That's how Christians ought to respond. If we're ministering grace when we respond with grace, that's how we need to respond. Now, when we respond with grace, God rewards us, but contrary-wise, when we allow corruption or disappointment to fill our hearts, we're going to easily just get filled up with bitterness, friends. Now, we have to learn to respond to the difficulties we face in biblical grace. This will be evidenced in our actions and it'll be evidenced in our words point number three We need to refuse so so far. We need to reject Satan's temptation We need to reflect biblical grace We're on point number three. We need to refuse to grieve the Holy Spirit We need to refuse to grieve the Holy Spirit point number three go to Ephesians chapter 4 verse 30 And it says and grieve not the Holy Spirit of God Whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption now if we're honest we probably do not take into account The Holy Spirit's presence within us as much as we should we don't think about that as much as we should that we have the Living God living inside of us and if we let him will direct us anywhere we ought to go he is always with us and we should be careful that none of our actions cause him to sorrow or offense now Ephesians 430 tells us we bring grief or sorrow or heaviness to the Holy Spirit when we refuse to forgive and verse thirty-one further describes what specifically grieves him what grieves him or ephesians chapter four verse thirty-one let all bitterness and wrath and anger be put away from you what grieves him letter A point three bitterness grieves god bitterness grieves god now let's define these words a little bit bitterness means extreme enmity grudge or hatred Wrath means fierce rage. Anger means blowing up with violent emotion. Now, these three often go together in our lives. They're sins that tend to feed each other. Usually, when we are allowing them in our lives, we feel justified in doing so. We feel powerful when we indulge in these things, don't we? We just feel strong. We feel powerful when we just indulge that anger. It makes us feel just like we could punch through a wall. But God commands us to put that away, because that false strength needs to be replaced with His true strength. What's the second thing that grieves the Holy Spirit? Well, the first thing was bitterness. Second thing? Sinful speech grieves God. sinful speech letter b sinful speech grieves god friends listen sinful speech grieves god facebook users sinful speech Grieves God I'll be preaching on the word. I'll be preaching on speech tonight So if you can't tell him a little bit worked up about this topic at the moment While the first three sins related primarily to how we feel these last three relate primarily to what we say Clamor, well, let's read this real quick Ephesians chapter 4 verse 31. I'm getting ahead of myself Ephesians chapter 4 verse 31 let all clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice Clamor means a great outcry to utter loud noises repeatedly evil speakings me slander speech and joyous to another's good name Malice means all that is sinful Do you notice the process that's being exposed in Ephesians chapter 4 verse 31 does anyone notice? I? The issue begins in the heart as bitterness. It fans the flames of our emotion. As a result, wrath and anger begin to spill out of us. As bitterness continues to boil inside, it is exposed through the way that we speak. This is clamor and evil speaking. Now, the absolute best and only way to remedy this is to root out the bitterness through what? Well, try forgiveness. An unknown author wisely said, unforgiveness is the poison we drink, hoping others will die. Bitterness changes people. That poisonous hatred, friends, is going to lead to fierce rage, wrath, and blowing up with violent emotion, anger. Sam Ewing said it's wise to remember that anger is just one letter short of danger. Kind of quippy. So, it is so important to not grieve the Holy Spirit. It is really important to not grieve the Holy Spirit. We need His ministry in us! We need that ministry working in us, and it won't work if we're grieving the Holy Spirit. It's very important to not grieve the Holy Spirit. We need His ministry. But if we are to not grieve Him, we must be forgiving to people. We must refuse to hold on to these hurts. So, number four. Point number four. we have to we've we need to reject satan's temptation we need to reflect biblical grace we need to refuse to grieve the holy spirit whenever for we need to reflect the savior's forgiveness we need to reflect the savior's forgiveness now god doesn't just want us god doesn't just tell us what not to do he gives us a perfect remedy for bitterness it's choosing to forgive we usually think the perfect remedy is choosing to get even as a result god reminds us of the forgiveness he has extended to us having a forgiving spirit is to be a reflection of God's forgiveness towards us we forgive even as Christ has forgiven us well how do we do that we serve a kind well what does that mean why do we do that well the first way the first reason we do that letter a we serve a kind Savior we serve a kind and loving Savior that loves us sometimes we forgive the kindness of God Friends, he shows it every single day. Every single day. God calls us to extend his kindness to other people. If we go to Ephesians 4, verse 32 now, and it says, and be ye kind one to another. Tenderhearted. Kind means having tenderness or goodness of nature. Benevolence. tender-hearted means having strong inward compassion being sympathetic an old saying is and I know pastor says brother Howell says this in a different way but very close it says be kind to everyone for everyone you meet is fighting a battle that's a true statement every person in this room is fighting something So letter A, we serve a kind Savior. That's the first reason. The second reason, letter B, is we serve a forgiving Savior. Ephesians 4.32 says, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, hath forgiven you. Forgiving means to give grace, to pardon. It means giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me. Giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me. I love how Ephesians 432 draws us back to Calvary, doesn't it? Forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, hath forgiven you. That's a good thought. That's a good reality. So I'll end here with a couple of concluding thoughts. Get you out a couple of minutes, maybe a minute late. Forgive me for that. But in conclusion, yes, gentlemen. Oh, please continue. Great. Thank you, Doug. Our culture tells us that I ought to forgive Doug for laughing at me. Anyway, our culture tells us that forgiveness is an option and that usually it's the wrong option. It's usually the weaker of the two options, forgive them or get even. It's not right. God tells us that forgiveness isn't just an option. It's a command. He tells us that he gives us the grace to release our anger and even reflect his grace to the people who have wronged us. If we're merely cultural Christians, meaning Americanized Christians, Christians because 70% of the population says they're Christian. and my grandfather was Christian. If that's the kind of Christian we are, that kind of Christianity isn't going to put in your baseline, isn't going to put in your foundation, the things necessary to forgive. It takes biblical Christianity. It takes true study. It takes true prayer time. It takes truly speaking grace, acting in grace, even when it's hard. Otherwise, friends, I think we all know people who have, and I'll end on this note, who have a wasteland of broken relationships behind them because they've just refused to forgive. We all know someone like that. Do you want that to be you? No, I know I don't want it to be me, because it doesn't reflect me well, it doesn't reflect this church well, and most importantly, it doesn't reflect Christ well. Let's choose to forgive in 2019.