All right, we're there in 1 Kings, chapter number 12. And of course, on Wednesday nights, we've been making our way through the book of 1 Kings. We've been going verse by verse, chapter by chapter, studying the book of 1 Kings together. And up to this point, it's really just been a series on the life of Solomon. We've been studying the life of Solomon. And we, of course, spent the first 11 chapters on that. And tonight, we are starting into chapter 12 And now we're going to go from Solomon to Solomon's son, Rehoboam. And in 1 Kings chapter 12 and verse number 1, the Bible says this, and Rehoboam went to Shechem. for all Israel were come to Shechem to make him king. Of course we saw last week in chapter 11 that Solomon died, we saw the tragic end to his life and now the children of Israel are getting ready to make Rehoboam his son, the king. And there's just some interesting things I think to point out here and of course on Wednesday nights it's our Bible study night so we like to slow down a little bit and really kind of dissect the passages and I want you to notice there that the Bible says that Rehoboam went to Shechem. Now Shechem, if you've read the Bible, it might stand out to you. It's a very important city in the nation of Israel. Lots of interesting things happened in Shechem. I won't take the time to give you a list or anything like that but It's a notable city, it's an important city. However, with that said, it's interesting to note that the coronation of Rehoboam was set to take place in Shechem. It's not set to take place in Jerusalem, which is the capital city. It's not set to take place in Gihon, which is near Jerusalem and is actually where Solomon was coronated. Those would be two places that would make sense. But instead, the coronation takes place here in Shechem, which, again, is an important city. But what I think we should note is that it's a city in northern Israel. where, of course, Jerusalem is in southern Israel. Not only that, but I want you to notice that Rehoboam, the Bible says, went to Shechem. The Bible says Rehoboam went to Shechem for all Israel were come to Shechem to make him king." Again, I think it's interesting that Rehoboam went to them, they did not come to him. You would think that if he's the king, and he's going to be coronated as the king, that they would come to him, that they would come to Jerusalem, that they would come to the capital city. But instead, he goes north, he goes to meet them. And I think this shows that The unity of the Kingdom of Israel was already fragile, and there's other passages we can look at that kind of highlights that for us, and of course we see that at other times there had been division between the Northern Kingdom and the Southern Kingdom. Just the fact that he goes to them, he goes to Shechem, they don't come to him, already shows that the situation was a little fragile. Verse 2 says, and it came to pass, when Jeroboam the son of Nabat, who was yet in Egypt, heard of it. Heard of what? He heard that Solomon was dead. He heard that Rehoboam was going to be coronated as the new king. The Bible says that when Jeroboam the son of Nabat, who was yet in Egypt, heard of it, for he was fled from the presence of King Solomon and Jeroboam dwelt in Egypt. And of course, if you remember, we saw in the previous chapter, chapter 11, that Jeroboam actually rebelled against Solomon and he was one of the adversaries that God used to bring troubles to the kingdom during the time of Solomon. And if you remember, Ahijah the prophet went to Jeroboam and already prophesied that Jeroboam was going to take ten of the tribes. He was going to split the kingdom. And when Solomon heard of that, he tried to kill Jeroboam, which is why Jeroboam fled to But now, he has heard of Solomon's death, he hears that Rehoboam is going to be coronated, and the Bible says that he came. Notice verse number three. The Bible says this, that they sent and called him. The they there is referring to those ten northern tribes. They called Jeroboam. told him, you need to come, you need to be part of this. So they sent and called him and Jeroboam and all the congregation of Israel came and spake unto Rehoboam saying, so I want you to notice again that Rehoboam is going up to Shechem. The ten tribes are calling Jeroboam out of Egypt and they're wanting to have a conversation with Rehoboam and they're using Jeroboam as their representative. So there's just a lot of shaky things going on here with regards to the kingdom. Now, Rehoboam shows up in Shechem. Of course, they're supposed to be coronating him. They're supposed to be anointing him king, but the children of Israel want to have a conversation with him. If you notice the last part of verse 3, the Bible says that they spake unto Rehoboam saying. So I want you to notice their request in verse 4. The Bible says, this is what they said to Rehoboam. They said, thy father made our yoke grievous. The word yoke there, of course, is being used symbolically. A yoke would be a burden that would be put on a beast in order to work and labor. And they said, thy father made our yoke. They said that he made our burden. The word grievous means heavy or severe. They said, Now therefore, here's their request, Now that's the request. The request is, Solomon, your dad, his burden was heavy. His yoke was grievous. His service was hard. We're asking that you would make it lighter. And then here's their reassurance to him. They said, we will serve thee. We will serve thee. I want you to notice that these are not words of rebellion. They're simply making a request, and the request is for some relief. And they even give a reassurance that is opposite of rebellion. They said, if you would make our yoke lighter, we would serve thee. And that's the context in which we find our story tonight. And what we find is that Rehoboam has a decision to make. To his credit, he actually does some things right. Usually when people preach about Rehoboam, they focus on all the negatives, and there's definitely some negative things we're gonna look at tonight, but to his credit, he does do some things right, and then he, of course, does something very, very wrong. And in the sermon, I want to highlight for you just several things here from this passage, and if you're taking notes, then I'll let you know up front. We're gonna look at this passage from two different headings, and of course, on the back of your course of the week, there's a place for you to write down some things, or if you brought a notebook or something like that. First, we're going to, see things under this heading that I've titled Directives for Decisions or Directions for Decisions. Because what Rehoboam has here is a decision to make. And he actually does some things right. He does one thing very wrong, but he does some things right. So we're going to look at some guides there for decision making. And then, of course, there's also some lessons in leadership here in this passage. And we'll look at those under that. heading tonight. So let's begin with these directions for decisions. I want you to notice that Rehoboam here has a decision he has to make. A request has been made to him and really it's his first request as a leader. The people have came and they've made a petition. Now he has to decide what he's going to do. This is an important decision and I think that this is something that's very applicable to us because from time to time we all have important decisions to make. Have you ever had to make a decision that was going to have far-reaching consequences for yourself or for your family. You know, sometimes we've got decisions to make and we just don't know what to do. We're not sure how to make them or what steps to take. But I see in this passage three wise steps, three good steps that I think we should all make whenever we've got a decision before us. Let's look at them real quickly this evening. I want you to notice three steps for decision-making. Number one, we should listen carefully. Before we make a decision, when somebody's bringing something to us and we've got to decide, the first step that we should take is listen carefully. I want you to notice that the children of Israel, they come to Rehoboam. Again, this is his coronation. Right? This is his big day. This is his moment to shine and they're supposed to anoint him and put a crown on him. But the children of Israel do this instead, verse 3, and they sent and called him and Jeroboam and all the congregation of Israel came and spake unto Rehoboam saying, they said, before we begin the celebrations and before we begin the festivities and before we get into the pomp and circumstance of your coronation, we've got a conversation we'd like to have with you. We've got some things that we'd like to express. We'd like to give you some things and we'd like for you to hear us out. So they speak unto Rehoboam, saying, Thy father made our yoke grievous, now therefore make thou the grievous service of thy father and his heavy yoke which he put upon us lighter, and we will serve thee. Now they come to Rehoboam with this request, and to his credit, he heard them out. He didn't say, no, we're not having this meeting. No, I don't want to hear this. No, this is supposed to be my big day. He actually listened to them. And that's one thing that he does well. Because when it comes to making decisions, we must listen carefully. And in fact, later on in the passage, we see that he heard them out. He even rephrased and restated their requests. If you look down at verse number nine, just real quickly, 1 Kings 12 and verse nine, notice here we have Rehoboam speaking to his counselors. And the Bible says, and he, said unto them what counsel give ye that we may answer this people who have spoken to me saying make the yoke which thy father did put upon us lighter so here we have some proof that he heard them out because oftentimes when we can rephrase or restate what someone has said to us It helps us to make sure we understand what they're saying. So, why don't you notice that Rehoboam does something well here. He listens carefully. Now, please keep your place there in 1 Kings chapter 12. That's our text for tonight. But if you wouldn't mind, go with me to the book of Proverbs. Proverbs chapter number 18. If you open your Bible just right in the center, you're more than likely following the book of Psalms. And right after Psalms, you have the book of Proverbs. Proverbs chapter 18. And if you don't mind, please put a ribbon or a bookmark or something there in Proverbs, because we're going to leave it and we're going to come back to it. And I'd like for you to get to it quickly. We're going to go back and forth between 1 Kings and Proverbs several times tonight. Proverbs chapter number 18. So whenever you have a decision to make, and whenever I have a decision to make, the first step that we should always take is this, listen carefully. Listen carefully. Have you ever met someone that has a habit of not listening? And you might be married to that individual, if you're a lady. Men are known for that sometimes, but ladies do it too. And you ever talk to someone and you can just tell they're not paying attention? You can just tell they're not listening. Either their eyes are glazed over and they're just, you know, numb to the world, or sometimes their eyes aren't glazed over, their eyes are going back and forth, and you can tell, this person's not listening to me, they've got something they want to say, and they're just waiting for my mouth to stop moving so that they can insert whatever it is they're thinking. But listen, the Bible says, no pun intended there, that the wisdom of the Word of God teaches us that we should listen carefully. Proverbs 18, are you there? Look at verse 13. Proverbs chapter 18 and verse 13. This is of course the Proverbs of Solomon. The Proverbs that Solomon primarily gave us. This is the Book of Wisdom. Notice what the Bible says here, Proverbs 18, 13. It says, He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him." So here the Bible tells us that we should not answer a matter. We should not give an answer before you hear it. And one of the things about the Proverbs that I love, and about Scripture in general, is that sometimes the advice is so simple and is so basic that I think that without some life experience, you could look at that and think to yourself, well, who even does that? Like, why would you even have to tell us that? Who does that? He that answereth a matter before ye hear it, it is folly and shame unto him. And you might think, well, nobody does that. But you know, what you learn over life and over time is that people do this all the time. They answer a matter before they hear it. They take a position. They make a judgment. They decide something about someone. before they hear it. And you say, well, what do you mean? Well, when you make a decision about someone based off gossip you heard, say, well, somebody told me something. But do you understand that there's two sides to the story? Did you ever ask the person? Did you ever go to them? Did you ever say, hey, I heard this and I'd like to get your side? Well, that's a situation where you answer the matter. You made a decision and you didn't really fully hear it. You said you heard some of it, but you didn't take the time to fully understand. Oftentimes, people do this with respective persons. They make a decision. before they either have heard everything there is to hear, or maybe they simply make a decision based off the person. just because this is my friend, just because I like this person, just because for some reason I relate with this person, then therefore they must be right and everyone else. And what you're doing is you're answering a matter before you've heard it. And the Bible calls this foolishness. The Bible says that it's folly and shame unto him. So we as God's people ought to be people that have some wisdom about us and that realize that before we answer a matter, Before we make a decision, before we make a judgment call, we should take the time to listen carefully. Because the Bible says, he that answers the matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame unto him. You say, but I know this person, or I like this person, or the person that told me is someone that I trust. You're still not taking the time to listen. And oftentimes I think we end up with decisions that are folly, that are foolish, and that are shameful because we did not properly take the time to listen. So when we've got to make a decision, what should we do? Number one, step number one, is we ought to listen carefully. That's something that Rehoboam actually did well. Rehoboam did some wrong things here. But there's one thing he did. He heard them out. I want you to notice the second thing that Rehoboam did. Go back to 1st Kings chapter 12 if you wouldn't mind. Keep your place there in Proverbs. We're going to come right back to it. I want you to notice another step that he took. And this again was another step that he did well. He said, what should we do whenever we have decisions? These are directions for decisions. You've got a decision to make. You've got a judgment call to make. Someone's brought something to you and they're wanting you to hear them and make a decision. Step one, you have to listen carefully. Here's step two. You ought to wait deliberately. You should wait deliberately. Look at verse 5. 1 Kings 12, verse 5, the Bible says this, and he said unto them, Depart yet for three days. Then come again to me, and the people departed. I want you to notice that Rehoboam does something here that's actually very wise. I think in some ways we see a little bit of his father's influence on him. We know that Solomon was a very wise man. You know, the first thing that Rehoboam does is that he listens carefully. But I want you to notice the second thing that he does is that he waits deliberately. He asks for time. He says, depart yet for three days, then come again to me. He says, give me three days to think about it. Give me three days to mull it over. Give me three days to consider your request. And this is something that's actually very wise. It's very wise for us to not only listen carefully, but to wait deliberately. And I say that in a very deliberate way, because I think we should purpose to wait before we make major decisions in our lives. Oftentimes we make decisions based off of emotion, and we make the wrong decision based off of emotion. Oftentimes we make decisions based off impulse, and then we spend years paying that impulse off. Because we didn't wait deliberately. Because we didn't decide, hey, let me think about this. Let me sleep on this. Let's allow some time to pass. Did you keep your place there in Proverbs? Go back to Proverbs chapter 10 if you don't mind. Proverbs chapter 10. Look at verse number 19. Proverbs chapter 10 and verse number 19. We saw that we should listen carefully, but secondly, we should wait deliberately. Proverbs 10 and verse 19 says this, in the multitude of words there wanteth not sin. Now I'm not preaching about that this evening, but let me, we're there so you should look at it. You know, oftentimes the more we say, the more likely we are to say the wrong thing. And the more we talk, the more likely we are to begin talking about things we shouldn't be talking about and sinful things. In the multitude of words there wanteth, the word wanteth there means lacketh, there lacketh not sin. We need to be very mindful about the words that we use and the things that come out of our mouth. The Bible says, Notice what the Bible says. When someone chooses to say, you know what? I'm not going to answer that right now. Give me some time. Let me think about it. Let me mull it over. That's a wise thing. Now, here's what we think. We think that it's wise if someone can just ask you a question and you got the answer right off the spot, right? We think that's impressive. And I'm not saying that, look, if you've got the answer, if you already know, if it's something you've already studied out or you thought about or whatever, that's great. But I think we need to realize that the Bible teaches that there's some wisdom in waiting. You don't have to, look, you don't have to respond to every little thing. You don't have to give your opinion about every little thing. One of the things that is very popular right now, and I don't look at these types of things, or watch these types of things, but you know, Brother Oliver and Brother Shaw do, I'm just kidding. You know, you do, and you tell me about it, so. But you know, one of the popular things right now is response, these like reaction videos, you know, where someone watches something and then they react to it, or whatever, and that's a popular thing. But you know, there's not a lot of wisdom in just recording, and I know those things are silly, I'm not preaching against that necessarily, but what I'm saying is this, be careful about thinking that your reaction is always the right reaction. You know, sometimes it might be wise to think, I'm thinking something right now, but maybe I should not let that come out of my mouth. Maybe I should refrain my lips for a second. Maybe I should think about it. Maybe I should pray about it. Maybe I should ask someone about it before I make a decision. So before we make decisions, we should, number one, listen carefully. Number two, wait deliberately. James 1.19, you have to turn there, says this, wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, that's listen carefully, slow to speak, that's wait deliberately, and then James says this, slow to wrath, and I think that's good too. Keep your place in Proverbs, go back to 1 Kings chapter 12. We're talking about directions for decisions. You say, I've got a decision to make, what should I do? Well, there's wisdom in listen carefully, and there's wisdom in wait deliberately. And I want you to notice, thirdly, something Rio Bombe does. Now he does this, and it's the right thing to do. He doesn't do it well, he doesn't do it correctly, and we'll talk about that in a minute, but it was the right thing to do. I said, number one, we should listen carefully. Number two, we should wait deliberately. Number three, we should seek counsel strategically. We should seek counsel strategically. Notice that Rehoboam asks the people, he says, let me think about that, give me three days and we'll come back. Depart for three days and come again to me. And the people departed, verse 5. Notice verse 6. And King Rehoboam, notice what he does here, he consulted with the old man. Now it's important here that the Bible tells us that he's talking to old men because Rehoboam's a young man. And what Rehoboam does is that he seeks counsel, but he seeks strategic counsel. He's not just letting anybody speak into his life. At least not right now. We're going to see later that's going to change. But in verse 6, the Bible says that he consulted with the old men. And he chose these men. The reason that they're old is because they stood. He said that stood before Solomon, his father, while he yet lived. And here's what the Bible is saying. He went and sought people who had some experience. And what we see is that he sought counsel, but it was strategic. And when we've got decisions to make, we should listen carefully, we should wait deliberately, and we should seek counsel strategically. Do you understand that when you're looking for counsel, you have to look for people that have, number one, that are Christian, that are saved, that are gonna give you biblical counsel, but also that they've got some experience. You understand what I'm saying to you? I'm not trying to offend you or be mean, but let me just help you understand this. You don't want to take financial advice from somebody that's broke. You don't want to take health advice from someone that's fat. Right? I mean, look, we don't want to take, you know, a guy just got divorced. You don't need him giving you, let me give you some marriage advice. The idea is that we want to look at people who are doing, and in different areas. Maybe this guy is doing well in this area, so I'm going to go and get some advice about this thing. What Rehoboam does is that he strategically goes to some people with some experience. He consulted with the old man that stood before Solomon, his father, while he lived and said, how do ye advise that I may answer this people? And this was all good up to this point. He's doing well. Rehoboam initially sought counsel. And he sought counsel from experienced people. Can you go back to Proverbs real quickly? Proverbs chapter 11. Proverbs chapter 11, look at verse 14. Proverbs chapter 11 and verse 14. The Bible says, where no counsel is, the people fall. Do you know that we were not meant to live our lives in isolation? We were not meant to be islands. We were meant to live our lives in a community of believers, and there's lots of reasons for that, but one reason is so that you can get some good, wise, biblical counsel. The Bible says where no counsel is, the people fall. But in the multitude of counselors, there is safety. and going to people with experience and getting a lot, multitude of counselors. The Bible says that's a safe thing. It's a safe thing to seek counsel. So before we make a decision, especially, I'm not talking about where you're gonna eat after church. I'm talking about major things in your life. Young people, you're gonna get married? Maybe you gotta find some people in your life that are a little further down the road than you are. Some of these old people have got some experience and let them speak into your life and listen carefully and wait deliberately. Don't rush these decisions that are important decisions and seek counsel strategically. That way you don't make decisions that end up destroying the kingdom. So we see these directions for decisions. And up to this point, Rehoboam has done well. But, of course, you know the chapter. He messes up. And here's where he messes up. Let's just pick up from verse 6. 1 Kings 12, verse 6. And King Rehoboam consulted with the old men that stood before Solomon, his father. while he yet lived and said, how do ye advise that, I want you to notice this word here. Notice how he says, what he says to the old man. He says, how do ye advise that, notice what he says, he says, I may answer this people. Just make a note of that. In verse 7, the old men respond, and they speak unto him, saying, if thou wilt be a servant unto this people this day, and will serve them, and answer them, and speak good words to them, then they will be thy servants forever. We'll come back to that verse here in a minute. Look at verse 8. Here's where he messed up. But he forsook the counsel of the old men, which they had given him, and consulted with the young men that were grown up with him, and which stood before him. He went away from experienced counsel, and he went to people that had the same experience that he had. He consulted with young men that were grown up with him, and which stood before him, and he said unto them, What counsel give ye that we may answer this people? Now, you say, where did Rehoboam mess up? You know, Rehoboam messed up in this area. He sought counsel, but the problem is that he wasn't really seeking counsel, he was selecting counsel. I said, what do you mean? I mean that he was shopping for counsel. Rehoboam went wrong, not when he went to seek counsel, but when he decided he was going to select counsel, he was surrounding himself around people. He wanted counsel, but he wanted the counsel that was going to confirm and affirm what he already wanted to do. That's not wise. One of the most frustrating things I found in ministry, over 15 years of ministry, is when people come to talk to the pastor, or the ladies, talk to the pastor's wife. And it's this charade, it's this ritual, right? They wanna go around saying, well, I already talked to the pastor about it. But what they don't tell people is, yeah, but when you came to talk to me about it, you already had made the decision. You weren't really asking for counsel, you were just kinda letting me know. And you don't have to ask me or anybody for counsel if you don't want to, but let me just let you in on a little secret. Where there is no counsel, the people fall. And you should have somebody in your life that you can go to that's going to give you some biblical counsel. He forsook the counsel of the old men. And I want you to notice, because nothing in the Bible is incidental, coincidental, accidental. It's all there for a reason. Notice verse 6 again. And King Rehoboam consulted with the old men that stood before Solomon his father while he yet lived, and said, How do ye advise that I may answer this people? When he talked to the old men, he said, How do you advise that I answer the people? When he talked to the young men, verse 9, he said unto them, What counsel give ye that we may answer this people? Notice he's already connected himself to them. He's already decided, he's already in his mind decided, this is what I'm going to go with. He forsook the council because he was looking for someone to agree with him. Look, I'm saying to you is that you will make a mistake and you will make mistakes in life if the only people that you're allowed to talk into your life are people that are always going to agree with you. What counsel give ye that we may answer this people, who have spoken to me, saying, Make the yoke which thy father did put upon us lighter? Verse 10. And the young men that were grown up with him spake unto him, saying, Thus shalt thou speak unto this people that spake unto thee, saying, Thy father made our yoke heavy, but make thou it lighter unto us. Thus shalt thou say unto them, My little finger shall be thicker than my father's loins. Look, what Rehoboam does here is that he surrounds himself with yes-men. He surrounds himself with people that already agree with him, that already have his perspective. There's a term for this. He surrounds, he puts himself in an echo chamber, where he's only exposed to primarily the ideas and beliefs that already reinforce his existing views. And look, this is a dangerous place to be. And this is how some people live their lives and surround their lives. And to be honest with you, this is one of the reasons that social media is dangerous. I understand there's good things, not much, but there's some good things that can be done on social media, especially to reach people with the gospel. I understand that. But one of the reasons that social media can be dangerous It's because you surround yourself. Look, if you live your life in a way where you've got a thousand idiots affirming and confirming every stupid thing you say every day, you're going to make a lot of mistakes. And you're going to have a lot of damage. You know what the Bible says? The Bible says faithful are the wounds of a friend. Sometimes a friend's going to tell you something you don't want to hear. That's why the Apostle Paul would say, am I therefore become your enemy because I tell you the truth? And look, here's what I'm saying to you, is that in your life, you better have somebody that can tell you, hey, I love you, but you're wrong. I love you, and I'm for you, but that's not right. That's not good. You need to do something. And if you just surround yourself with people that are always affirming and confirming just everything you do, You're going to end up making some big mistakes, Rehoboam. So we see some directions for decisions here. We ought to listen carefully, and we ought to wait deliberately, and we ought to seek counsel strategically. Not only do we see these guidelines for decision making, and many of them that Rehoboam did right, although he made one fatal mistake, he did not allow people to tell him No, Rehoboam, you're wrong. I want you to notice that there's also some principles here for good leadership. So we saw the directions for decisions, but now let's shift gears a little bit, and let's look at some lessons in leadership from this passage. Lessons in leadership. And let me say it this way, they are lessons in good leadership. Because do you understand that not all leadership is good leadership? Joseph Stalin was a leader. He wasn't a good leader. And what I mean, and don't misunderstand me because, you know, words mean things. Joe Stalin was an effective leader. You know, in the sense of effectiveness, Adolf Hitler was an effective leader. It doesn't mean he was a good leader. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? So the question is not, can I lead or do things work? There's some things you can do, Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler, that will work. The question is, should we do those things? So let's look at some lessons for good leadership. I gave you three directions for decisions, guidelines for decisions. Listen carefully, wait deliberately, seek counsel strategically. Let me give you quickly this evening, three lessons for leadership. Because here's the thing, we will all at some point in our lives lead someone. You say, oh, well, I'm a lady, and the Bible says that wives are supposed to submit to their husbands, and it does say that. But aren't you leading your children? We're all going to lead somewhere, somehow. So I think we should all learn some of these lessons for good leadership, lessons in good leadership. Number one, here's lesson number one for you. Good leadership is earned. Why don't you go back to verse number four, notice what the people said to Rehoboam. And look, whether it was right or wrong for them to make this request, and how they responded, whether that was right or wrong, is not the point that I'm making, because I think they were within their rights to make the request, and I think that they were wrong for how they responded. But what the Bible is telling us when we look at the story, it's not telling us what's right or wrong, there's plenty of that in scripture, but the Bible is telling us that this is how human beings are. I've often said that the Bible is the greatest sociology book. I mean, you want to learn about human nature and how human beings act and respond and they think, whether right or wrong, I think it's good for us to know those things. Marjory knows that they come to Rehoboam and they said this, they said, thy father, thy father, Solomon, now who is Solomon? Solomon was the greatest, most successful, I'm not talking about in the sense of spirituality, I'm talking about in the sense of just a secular government, successful government, bringing peace and prosperity. Solomon, by that metric, was the most successful king the nation of Israel had ever seen and will ever see. I don't think he was the greatest king or the best king other than Jesus. Of course, I think that David probably would have been that. But as far as like running a government, Solomon, I mean, he took the nation of Israel to its height. And here's what the people said to Rehoboam. They said, thy father made our yoke grievous. Now, therefore, make thou the grievous service of thy father and his heavy yoke, which he put upon us lighter, and we will serve thee. Why don't you notice what the people were and not willing to put up with? There is a burden they were willing to take from Solomon, the previous leader, that they were not yet willing to take from Rehoboam. Do you understand what I just said? This whole time they had been living under the grievous yoke of Solomon and they had allowed that. They hadn't made a request, they hadn't made a petition. Why? Because Solomon had earned their respect. He'd earned credibility. They knew that Solomon knew what he was doing. There was a burden that they were willing to allow Solomon to put on them that they were not willing to let this new guy put on them. And whether that's right or wrong is not the point. The point that I'm saying to you is that in leadership, we often need to remember this, that leadership, influence, John Maxwell famously says that leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. Influence is often earned. You say, how do you earn influence? Well, we'll see in the passage. We earn it through care, and we earn it through credibility. Leadership is not a position. Now, it is a position. You can be given a position of leadership. In fact, that's often where leadership begins. But if that's where leadership stays, you are going to fail as a leader. Because leadership has to be earned. In fact, John Maxwell said in one of his books, I can't remember which one, but he gives the five levels of leadership. He says that, and I agree with this, he says that there are five levels of leadership. He said the first is positional leadership. Positional leadership is when you have been given a position. They made you the assistant manager. They made you the manager. They made you the boss. They gave you the position, it's called husband. They gave you the position, it's called father. They gave you the position, it's called pastor. They gave you the position. And in that instance, when you've been given that position, when you're a young person and you're working at some job and all of a sudden they make you the assistant manager. People will follow you and they'll do what you tell them to do, but they'll do it for one reason, because of your position. People follow you in the position level, people follow you because they have to. But then we must grow in our leadership. The next level of leadership is permission. This is where people now, they stop following you because they have to, and they follow you because they want to. And usually this is because they like you. They like you, you're a nice person, and they, so now they're not just following you because you have the position, you have the position, that's where leadership always begins usually. Although you can be a leader and not have a position, do you understand that? But then there's this level of permission where people follow you, not because they have to, but because they want to. They want to because they like you. That's good, that's a good place to be, but that's not where you want to stay either. Then there's a level of production. Production is people follow you because what you have done for the organization. You have the position and they've given you the permission, maybe they like you, but now they're following you not just because they like you, they're following you because you're producing. Because things are getting done. That's where credibility is built. Then there's the position of people development, where you're starting to develop people and develop leaders, and you're starting to help people grow personally. And now they follow you, not because they have to, not because they want to, not because of what you're producing, but because of what you're doing for them, because you're developing them. And then there's a last level of leadership that John Maxwell calls the pinnacle, is when people follow you because of who you are and what you represent. And see, what I'm saying to you is this, that Solomon started 40 years earlier as a very humble man. Remember, God comes to him and he has the position. They've made him king. And what does Solomon say? Solomon says, I am a child. I don't know how to go in. I don't know how to lead these people. I don't know what to do. And he asked for wisdom. And what I'm saying to you is that Solomon, for better or worse, had gone through these levels of leadership. His leadership had grown with the children of Israel. And the nation grew. And the nation succeeded. And the nation began to prosper. The nation began to have peace. So they went from position, to permission, to production, to people development, to that pinnacle where it's just Solomon. He's just famous. He's just well-known. Everybody just knows. People are starting to come. And the Queen of Sheba, all these people are coming because they've heard of the fame of Solomon. So yeah, they were willing to put up with some stuff from Solomon, because Solomon had taken the time to earn their respect. But now you have Rehoboam, and Rehoboam is starting all the way at the bottom. He's just been given a position. And what he's not realizing is that leadership is earned. Good, start at the position. But people need to like you. And then, on top of that, that people liking you, that'll carry you for a little while, but then you better start producing. And then you better start helping. We need to start moving up these roles. So we see that good leadership is earned. And Rehoboam had not yet done that. I want you to notice the second thing. Not only do we see that leadership is earned, but I want you to notice number two, lesson on leadership, that good leadership is selfless. Look at verse five. And he said unto them, Depart ye for three days, then come again to me. And the people departed. And King Rehoboam consulted with the old men that stood before Solomon his father while he yet lived, and said, How do ye advise? that I may answer this people." Now here's what the old men said, the experienced men said. Look at verse 7. They said, and they spake unto him saying, if thou wilt be a servant unto this people this day, and will serve them, and answer them, and speak good words to them, they will be thy servants forever. I just think it's this new thing where people are attacking servant leadership. It's like, are you crazy? I mean, it's all over the Bible, but here, I just think this is a century. The experienced men, and by the way, the story is very clear. These guys were right. The young men were wrong. Rehoboam was wrong. I've heard people say, oh, in the story, the old men were wrong. No, no, that's ridiculous. It's obvious from the context that these men knew what they were talking about. And they said, if thou wilt be a servant unto this people this day, and will serve them, and answer them, and speak good words to them, then they will be thy servants forever. And again, I think people, I don't know if they balk at this, because they hear servant leadership, and they're like, I don't want to do the dishes. That's my wife's job. Look, servant leadership is not men go home and do the dishes. It's not that the boss goes and does the work for the employee. That's not what it is. If that's what you think it is, you're just not under... They're not telling Rehoboam, you become their servant. Look, they're saying, if thou wilt be a servant unto this people this day, and wilt serve them, and answer them, and speak good words to them, then they will be thy servants forever. So it's not that, Rehwom, you become the servant and they'll become the king. That's not the idea. The idea of servant leadership, and I've said this so many times and I'm just gonna continue to say it, is this idea where we, as leaders, take our position, take our resources, take our influence, take our place of influence, and we leverage it for the benefit of others. meaning we lead and we use our leadership to serve others. It doesn't mean you go home and do the chores for your children. That's not what it means. It means that you leverage your leadership for the position for the benefit of others. And maybe sometimes giving the opposite might be help, because I feel like people sometimes don't understand. I think all of you understand this, but serving leadership is leading for the benefit of others, but maybe to help understand the opposite. Here's the opposite of servant leadership is self-serving leadership. Maybe that's a little easier to understand. Self-serving leadership is where you use your position to serve yourself, to benefit yourself, at the expense of others. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? And again, this attack on servant leadership, I'll never understand it. Go to Matthew chapter 20. I mean, this is a very clear passage of scripture talking about this, but let's just look at the words of the Lord Jesus Christ. I mean, we're supposed to be Christians, right? I think it would matter what Jesus Christ taught. Matthew 20, verse 25. So there's servant leadership and there's, in case you just can't grasp that, then there's self-serving leadership. Here's what Jesus said, Matthew 20, verse 25. But Jesus called them unto him and said, we saw this passage not too long ago on a Sunday morning, but let's just look at it again. But Jesus called them unto him and said, ye know that the princes, that is a title, a position, a leader, ye know that the princes of the Gentiles, he's talking about, you know that the world, that they exercise dominion, they assert power over, They take this leadership, exercise dominion over them. The idea is that they're using force over them. You know that the prince of the Gentiles exercised dominion over them, and they that are great, again, talking about a high rank, exercise authority upon them. Verse 26, but it shall not be so among you. But whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister. The word minister means servant. And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant. The Bible says about Jesus that he came not to be ministered unto, but to minister. And again, the idea here is not that the boss is therefore going to do the job of the employees, or the parents are going to do the job of the children, or the husband is going to do the job of the wife. That's not the idea. The idea is this, that in the world, people use leadership and use authority and use that position to serve themselves. Self-service. But in God's kingdom and in God's economy, we ought to serve others with our resources. If you've been given a position of leadership, you should leverage that influence and that power and those resources for the benefit of others. And the idea is this, that leadership is that betters others. This is what the old men were trying to tell Rehoboam. Leadership that betters others gains loyalty. Leadership that demands breeds resentment. And again, I think people have trouble with this. So let me just give you some illustrations. Self-serving leadership versus servant leadership. What's self-serving leadership? Well, you know, self-serving leadership is the husband who's being a penny pincher when it comes to his wife and just putting his wife on this real limited, just you can only spend this much money on groceries. But he's going out and eating out every day. He's just buying whatever gadgets and whatever he wants. That's self-serving leadership. Now please don't misunderstand me because I think sometimes people hear these things and sometimes people just want to hear what they want to hear and they don't want to hear you out because they want to answer a matter before they hear it. Don't misunderstand what I'm saying to you. If finances are tight and you've got to pinch some pennies and you've got to do those things, by all means do that. Sometimes you've got to do that. Sometimes that's just the way it is. The economy's not good. Look, in our home, we've got six kids to feed, and they eat a lot, and whatever. You've got to make ends meet. You've got to make it work. Sometimes you have to pinch pennies. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with, well, I put my wife on a budget when it came to the groceries, so you're saying I'm a bad husband. I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is, if you're putting your wife in just a strict, you know, you can only have this much money, but then you're going out and just spending everything. It just, here's what, all I'm saying is, you're a selfish person. I'm not even saying it's not your right. It's your right. You say, well, it's not my right. It is your right. But you know that you can exercise your right and not be right? Look, do whatever you want. I'm just saying, if you don't want your wife to hate you, now, for some men, they don't care. They're like, I don't care if my wife hates me. As long as she's cooking, then that's all I need. And if that's all you need, then that's all you need. But sometimes the kingdom splits. I'm just saying, there's the self-serving leaders out there. How about the guy who leaves his wife all day at home with these little ones, these little babies? And again, men need to go to work, they should go to work, no problem with that. But he goes to work all day. And then after work, he goes to the gym. And then after the gym, he doesn't come home for dinner. He goes out to eat. And then after that, he goes to hang out with his friends and plays video games till midnight. Then he comes home and wants to be with his wife or whatever. And then you don't know why your wife is not happy with you? Look, I'm just saying that's self-serving. And again, I'm not saying to you, And again, I want you to don't misunderstand what I'm saying. Because if you have to work 12 hours, 16 hours to feed your family, then by all means, work 16 hours to feed your family, and you're right with God. But when you're ignoring your family, while they're at home suffering and going without, and you're just partying and hanging out and having a good time, you are a self-serving leader. Don't be surprised why your family hates you. Servant leadership versus self-serving leadership. And look, and it goes both ways. Women are leaders too, right? Mothers lead their children. Do you understand that there's a difference between the mother, who loves her children, spends time with her children, she homeschools them, and she reads to them, and she educates them, and then she also puts them to work. Because children should be put to work. And children should do chores and things. But do you understand that there's a difference between the mom who gets up early, she's teaching the kids how to make breakfast. And really, I'm just describing to you my experience, because this is my wife. gets up early, teaching the children how to cook and how to prepare it, and teaching them, and instructing them, and reading to them. I mean, I don't know how many times. We have this homeschool thing that my wife does during the day. And then at night, at 9 PM, my kids, my younger ones, obviously the older ones are off doing whatever they do now because they're teenagers. They're like, Reed, can you read to us? And my wife will just sit there and read for an hour, however long. Sometimes I have to put a stop to it. I'm like, look, we've got to go to bed. This is my wife. OK, go to your rooms. And then that mom puts those kids to work. Do you understand that that's different than the mom who sleeps all day. sleeps in, lays in her bed all day on Facebook, social media, and then it's just ordering the kids to just cook everything and clean everything and do everything. Do you understand the difference? One servant leadership, one self-serving leadership. And look, mom, if that's you, I'm not mad at you. Do I not have the rights to teach and treat my children like garbage? You do have that right, but then don't be surprised when they hate you. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? You've got your hobbies, and you've got your work, and you've got this, and you've got that, and you're not, and look, again, I'm not, there's nothing, the problems, 31 woman had hobbies and had work that she did from home, and all those things are great, there's nothing wrong with that, and those are good things, but when you allow those things to become the priority, and your children are neglected, that's not servant leadership, that's self-serving leadership. And look, you do what you want with it, I get to go home with a nice wife that doesn't hate me, and nice children, and obviously nobody's perfect, everybody has issues. I'm just saying to you that good leadership is selfless, not selfish. And I'm not saying that you're wrong to eat out men, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that we as leaders need to determine and decide, am I leading for the benefit of others, which can also include yourself, or am I simply leading for the benefit of me? And as long as I'm comfortable and as long as I'm having a good time, who cares if the kids are going without diapers? Who cares if my wife's needs are being met? Who cares if everything else that needs to be done is being done? As long as I'm doing what I want, Well, isn't that his right? It's his right, but don't be surprised when the kingdom splits, Rehoboam. The Bible says about Nehemiah that Senbaal and the Horonite and Tobiah, the servants of the Ammonites, they were grieved. The Bible says in Nehemiah 2.10 that it grieved them exceedingly that there was come a man to seek the welfare of the children of Israel. That's how we should be described as leaders. Look, when you get that promotion at work, I hope they'll say, man, there's a guy that's here to look out for us. He's there. And just realize, when you first get that promotion at work, you're down at the position level. So do whatever you want, but before you start barking orders, Just realize that maybe you should get people to like you and maybe you should start actually producing something and develop some credibility. Maybe start investing in people. And then you'll be surprised that from time to time you can embark orders and they're not gonna split the kingdom. If your leadership only benefits you, eventually people will walk away from it. Now you do what you want with it. I'm just telling you that's what this passage is teaching. We see that good leadership is earned, we see that good leadership is selfless, but then let me give you a third one, I gotta finish this up. We see that good leadership is caring. Look at verse 12, 1 Kings chapter 12, verse 12. So Jeroboam and all the people came to Rehoboam the third day. Remember they made a decision and said, okay, we're gonna give him three days. So they come the third day, as the king had appointed, saying, come to me again the third day. And the king answered the people roughly, Look at it, don't just read it, look at it. And the king answered the people roughly, and forsook the old men's counsel that they gave him, and spake to them after the counsel of the young men, saying, my father made your yoke heavy, and I will add to your yoke. They're saying, could you lighten some of the work that we're doing? We've been building this great empire. You think we could take a little bit of a break? And he says, my father made your yoke heavy. I'm going to add to your yoke. My Father also chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions. Wherefore, the king hearkened not unto the people, for the cause was from the Lord. And look, that's not saying that Rehoboam was right. That's saying the Lord is allowing Rehoboam to make some foolish decisions here because God wants to split the kingdom. Can you go back to Proverbs real quickly? Proverbs 29. Good leadership is earned. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? Good leadership is earned. And good leadership is selfless. Not self-serving, not selfish, but I'm going to lead for the benefit of others. And obviously all of us leaders have failed at that. at one point or another. But we just need to realize that that's what leadership is supposed to be. And good leadership is number three, caring. See this guy, he shows up on day one, hasn't earned their respect, hasn't earned their trust, he hasn't done anything of value, he hasn't produced anything yet, but he's gonna start barking orders to them like Solomon did. Wait a minute, Solomon was king for 40 years. Solomon produced for 40 years. Solomon brought peace and Solomon brought prosperity and Solomon helped these people for 40 years, Rehoboam. So don't start talking to these people like you're Solomon. You're not Solomon. Now you can be Solomon, but you're not Solomon on day one. So he's mean to them. He spoke roughly to them. He told them, my father made your yoke heavy, and I will add to your yoke. My father chastised you with whips, and I will chastise you with scorpions. Are you there in Proverbs 29? Look at verse 21. Proverbs 29, verse 21, the Bible says this. Notice these words. He that delicately bringeth up his servant from a child shall have him become his son at the length. I don't want you to miss that verse. I want you to see that. You know, the Bible says here, here the Bible says that there is a relationship between a master and a servant. And the master happened to have this servant from a child. And the Bible says, he that delicately, and I want you to notice these words, bringeth up, raises his servant from a child. But he does it delicately. He says, he shall have him become his son at the length. He says that. the way you treat people, even though the relationship is not of master and servant, you can win people's hearts and respect and love and admiration to the point where a servant will even begin to see his master and his boss almost like their father. shall have him become his son at the length. I just think it's interesting because when I read that verse, it brings this verse to mind. You don't have to turn there. Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 4, it says, and ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up. It's the same wording. Delicately bringeth up his servant, but bring him up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. I think it's interesting that the Bible says that fathers can be so cruel to their children that they provoke them to wrath. In Colossians it says that you can be so mean to them that you discourage them. It says provoke not your children to anger and you discourage them. So the Bible says that you can be mean and harsh and cruel rule to your children and it's going to provoke them to wrath, but you could bring up a servant delicately and the servant will love you like a son. And the idea is this, that it matters how you treat people. Now look, obviously, no one is gonna, standing up here and saying, we're perfect and we make no mistakes. The only person that can say that is the Lord Jesus Christ. Do you understand that? The only person that we can say makes no mistakes, does nothing wrong, is the Lord Jesus Christ. Obviously, every father has lost their temper. I've lost my temper and said things I shouldn't have said. We all do that. But the idea is this, that we must be careful that we're not just leading with this heavy hand, this harsh hand, Listen to me. Correction is not cruelty. There's a difference between correction and cruelty. I correct my staff. God bless them. I correct them all the time. I'm not cruel to them. Now, don't ask them. They might say something different, but I'm just telling you. Correction and cruelty are not the same thing. And listen, people will accept, followers will accept correction. They will resent cruelty. So we see that Jeroboam, he went to that harshness, but he did it too soon. He hadn't earned their respect yet. He hadn't earned their love. So we see that good leadership is earned, and good leadership is selfless, and good leadership is caring. And aren't you thankful that God is caring for us? The psalmist said about God, thy gentleness hath made me great. So we see that it matters how we treat people. So let's see how this thing ends. We've got to finish this. Look at verse 16. 1 Kings 12, 16. So when all Israel saw that the king hearkened not unto them, the people answered the king, saying, What portion have we in David? Neither have we inheritance in the son of Jesse to your tent, O Israel. Now see to thine own house, David. So Israel departed unto their tents. But as for the children of Israel which dwelt in the cities of Judah, Rehoboam reigned over them. Then King Rehoboam sent Adoram, who was over the tribute. And all Israel stoned him with stones that he died. Therefore King Rehoboam made speed to get him up to his chariots to flee to Jerusalem. It seems like Rehoboam didn't really take them seriously until they killed someone. Then he's like, oh, they're serious. Verse 19, so Israel rebelled against the house of David unto this day. And it came to pass, when all Israel heard that Jeroboam was come again, that they sent and called him unto the congregation and made him king over all Israel. There was none that followed the house of David, but the tribe of Judah only. So the day that was supposed to be Rehoboam's coronation, three days later ended up being Jeroboam's coronation. And we see how harsh self-serving leadership can lead to rebellion. And look, please don't twist my words. Don't I have the right to treat my children like garbage? Don't I have the right to treat my wife like garbage? Don't I have the right to teach? You have the right to do whatever you want. You may be right. I'm not doubting that. But you'll still fail. You'll still fail as a leader. So maybe we should care about that. Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer. Heavenly Father, Lord, we love you. And we thank you for your word. And Lord, we pray that you would help us to learn these things and understand them. The Bible tells us everything we need to know about everything. It either tells us directly or it gives us in samples that we can learn from and we can avoid. And help us to look at Rehoboam and realize There are some things he did right, we can learn from those things. And there are some things he did wrong, and we should learn from those things. Lord, I pray you'd help us to make good decisions. And wherever we find ourselves in a position of leadership, help us to not be self-serving leaders. Help us to be people who take our position, our authority, our influence, our resources, and we leverage them for the benefit of others. We love you. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.