This morning we are going to have part two of forgiving one another as we began this last Sunday. And the reason that I chose these two Sundays to teach on this is because usually right around the time of the holidays between Thanksgiving and New Year's, it's a time where people get together with one another who maybe you haven't throughout the year, who perhaps you've wanted to avoid during the rest of the year. And oftentimes it highlights or magnifies the loneliness that we feel or the problems that we have in relationships with one another. Even in the area of forgiveness, is there someone in your life who you haven't forgiven yet who you need to? You know, when it comes to forgiveness, there is a universal need for this. As we think of different circumstances or examples, such as a spouse, who is rude and insensitive and then affection is withheld and the silent treatment is implemented. An insensitive cousin is greeted with an icy reception at the annual family gathering. A pastor behaves irresponsibly and then the phone wires burn as the offended tells his or her story to many others. A boss is harsh and unreasonable. Frustrated employees then talk viciously about him to one another. A father disciplines his son, not because he's trying to teach him more about the Lord and draw him closer to the Lord, but because he resents the inconvenience that his son has caused him. Can you relate to these situations and many others could be noted. You see, we all have a need for forgiveness, but we also all have a need to extend forgiveness to others. And that's why we're here this morning. We're here how to learn. We come to church not because this is a country club for elite Christians, but because we're all in the process of growing, hopefully, and learning. And the need to learn how to forgive is paramount. but it's also possible. I like what one popular book and author had to say, Ken Sandy, in his book, The Peacemaker. He says, peacemakers are people who breathe grace to others in the midst of conflict. Since we cannot breathe out what we have not breathed in, this process hinges on our moment-to-moment relationship with God. As we are filled with His grace, we can then breathe it out to others by confessing our wrongs, bringing them hope through the gospel, lovingly showing others their faults, forgiving them as God has forgiven us, and manifesting in our words and actions the fruit of the Holy Spirit. And that's my desire for all of us here at Duluth Bible Church, that this would be true of us. But you know, as we think of forgiveness, it's first of all a gift from God. And until we know that gift and how he forgives, we then can't practice that towards others unless we understand that well. For you see, it's a gift from God, but God only commands what he first supplies. He's reasonable in what he commands us. So let's learn about, again, by way of review, what we saw last Sunday, the type of forgiveness and how God forgives us personally, before we learn this morning more about how to forgive. one another. How does he deal with us? He deals with us judicially, but also in grace. On your handout, you have this point here that we saw last Sunday, that judicial forgiveness is the first type of forgiveness he gives us, and this occurs at the same time as our justification, when we're declared righteous before God. He forgives us at the same time. He permanently releases us from the penalty of our sin, what we justly deserve and what is due to us, And he imputes to us his own righteousness. You see, he not merely declares us righteous, he also forgives us. And he not only forgives us, but he puts into our bank account a positive balance of his own righteousness. Isn't that wonderful? You see, we're all born into this world spiritually dead, in trespasses and sins, Ephesians 2 says. As we are all born descendants of Adam. And the whole world's been plunged into sin. Romans 5.12 says, because of Adam. Just as one man sinned, so death passed to all men in the human race. And we've inherited that sin. It's also been legally or judicially imputed to us. And we choose to commit acts of sin. We're threefold sinners. Three strikes and you're out when it comes to earning salvation before God. We can't do it. And God saw our need, he saw our helpless state, and in love, he sent his son, Jesus Christ, to come die on the cross, pay for all our sin in full. And because Jesus paid our sin in full, he can then impute righteousness to us freely on the basis of his gracious, sacrificial death. And I love what 2 Corinthians 5.21 says as it speaks of this double imputation, that God made him, Jesus Christ, to be sin or a sin offering for us, that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him." Notice, in Him. It's a positional concept. The moment a sinner places their trust in Jesus Christ, They're in Christ positionally. The Holy Spirit takes us there and puts us there. And God now views us in his Son, Jesus Christ. And that's why he can see us, even though we're sinners, as clothed in the righteousness of Christ because he sees us through his Son and through the finished work of Jesus Christ in his death on the cross. And this is what Romans 4 is describing when it says in verses 4 through Six, the reference is wrong here. Now to him who works, the wages are not counted as grace but as debt. But to him who does not work but believes on him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is accounted for righteousness. Just as David also describes the blessedness of the man to whom God imputes righteousness apart from works. Notice it's received by faith on the basis of God's grace in the finished work of Jesus Christ. You see, just because Jesus Christ died on the cross and made sin available or salvation available for all mankind doesn't mean his work is credited to someone unless they believe. They have to believe. But it's not by working, but by believing that one is justified. In fact, we're justified not by faith plus works, but faith apart from works. You know, religion teaches, even in Christendom, that yes, you need faith in Jesus Christ, but that's not enough. You also need to go to church and jump through the hoops. Get baptized, take communion, get confirmed, keep the commandments, give money to the church, do good deeds, and you might make it to heaven one day. God might accept you. Well, that's not what the Bible says at all. It says apart from works, and it's not by working but believing. You see, believing is the one condition that is non-meritorious, that is not working. It's the opposite of working. Faith is simply reliance or trust upon what God has done already through his Son. That's why Jesus Christ gets all the credit when we simply trust in what he has done for us. And what is the result? David here is quoted from the Psalm, Psalm 32. In Romans 4, verses 7 and 8 go on to say, blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven and whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man to whom the Lord shall not impute sin. So in other words, when we are justified before God or counted righteous for Christ's sake, we're also forgiven at the same time. He clears our debt. Why? Because his son paid for our sin in full at Calvary. Every single sin we've ever committed was paid for there. The debt's been paid. You don't have to do penance. You don't have to do any work because it's 100% paid for. And that's why Jesus cried out on the cross, it is finished. And that's why the empty tomb shows that God the Father raised his son from the dead and all the work's been done. The debt's been paid in full. All we have to do is simply trust in his work for us. because he provides salvation fully by grace. It's not of our works. You see the contrast between the two approaches of working to be justified and forgiven, doing penance to be forgiven, versus putting our trust in Jesus Christ's full payment in the propitiatory work of the cross. So this is Romans 4, and this is what we learn. that there is a, first of all, judicial forgiveness that we receive from God on the basis of Christ's work and God's grace, and it's received through faith. We also saw this in Luke chapter seven last week, how there was a Pharisee there before Jesus, and there was an immoral woman who was notorious for her sinfulness. And in Luke seven, verse 42, it says, and when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. And that's why they're both forgiven by grace, not by their works. We also saw later in that chapter in verse 50, Jesus said to the woman, your faith has already saved you. Now go in peace. And God says that to every believer. If you've been saved by the grace of God, he now says, go in peace. We can have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ and through his work. You know, another verse that teaches how forgiveness is received simply through believing is Acts 10 verse 43 where Peter's preaching to Cornelius and he says to him regarding Jesus Christ, to him all the prophets witnessed that through his name whoever believes in him will receive remission of sins. It doesn't say to all who get baptized, to all who come forward, to all who repent of all their sins and clean up their life, to all who ask Jesus to come into their heart, to all who dedicate their life, who recommit their life, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. It's faith alone in Christ alone that saves. And the promise here is that we will receive remission of sins. And this is judicial forgiveness. It's received once for all. Once we believe, we've received, and we have it forever. But then there's a second kind of forgiveness in the Bible that is described, not merely judicial forgiveness, but also parental forgiveness. As some people might say, well, if we have this guaranteed salvation and we're saved forever the moment we believe, then why not go out and just sin all we want and let it rip? Because there's consequences to that. One of which is we might lose not salvation, but we might lose our fellowship with the Lord. And that's why when it comes to parental forgiveness, this is a second kind of forgiveness. It's the kind that is necessary to restore an already eternally saved child of God to relational harmony, the harmony of fellowship with God, not salvation, when we as believers sin against God. And a failure to understand this difference between judicial And parental or family forgiveness has caused many to misunderstand that they could lose their salvation. Yet the Bible teaches eternal security. For once a person trusts in Christ alone, they're in the family of God forever, in that yellow circle. But that doesn't mean as a child of God that we always walk in fellowship with God, or that we always walk by faith, because the Bible clearly says, eternally saved Christians can sin. But what happens when we sin? We don't fall out of the family of God, we fall out of fellowship with God. And the response the Lord is requiring of us as believers, Scripture teaches, such as in 1 John 1, is that we need to confess or acknowledge our sin to the Lord. And then not our salvation being restored, but our fellowship is restored. We receive parental forgiveness, just like a child within a family. He or she is a child forever of their parents. And yet that doesn't always mean they're in fellowship. And for relational harmony between mom and dad and child, there needs to be an acknowledgment of wrongdoing. And we are so good at just rationalizing away and justifying the need to not have to confess our sins. We'd rather live with broken relationships and disharmony and dig in in our pride rather than acknowledge or confess our sin to one another. and not to the Lord as well. And so this is all that's required. Secondly, we saw regarding parental forgiveness that this is granted on the basis of God's character and Christ's satisfactory death through Ark Confession. 1 John 1 verse 7 speaks of God's character and the satisfactory death of Christ. It says, but if we walk in the light as he is in the light, he's holy. We have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus Christ, his son, cleanses us from all sin in light of verse 9. Verse 9 goes on to say, but if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, there's his character again, to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. And we saw that this need for confession is highlighted in A couple of passages in the New Testament, John 13, 8 through 10, where Jesus is washing Peter's feet, and he describes to him two types of cleansing. One whole bath, which speaks of regeneration, being born again, receiving judicial forgiveness at a point in time and that lasts forever, versus ongoing forgiveness that is needed for fellowship and partnership even in ministry. The same was true in Acts 8 with Simon the sorcerer. who wanted to have the gift that Peter had because he was covening this. And he had a need for forgiveness, for fellowship with the Lord and with the rest of the early church, including Peter. And so you have two examples there of the 1 John 1, 7 through 9 principle. Now, why should we forgive one another? Having seen two types of forgiveness, we also looked at the reason for forgiveness. Well, first of all, our motivation for forgiving each other should be based on the fact that God's already forgiven us judicially in Christ, so richly, so graciously, so lovingly. Do you know that you're already forgiven as a believer in Christ before God? Stop and just think about that. Let that truth of your judicial forever forgiveness just sink in. Think about how many sins the Lord has already dealt with in your life forever, lock, stock, and barrel. Amazing. And on the basis of that enormous grace poured out to you, we are then to be motivated to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, not for our own sake, but for Christ's sake, has forgiven you." You see, his son interposed himself between a holy God and us, and God is already, for Jesus Christ's sake, forgiven you. And if God has done that for Jesus Christ's sake for you individually, we should extend that to one another. And what this shows us again is the heart of God, that in his character, he's an inherently loving, gracious, forgiving God. In fact, in the book of Exodus, when You know, the name of God is uttered as he in his glory passes by Moses and Moses catches basically the afterburners of God's glory passing by. The name of God is declared. And one of the descriptions of God is that he is a forgiving God, forgiving generation upon generation. And when you choose to forgive someone else for Jesus Christ's sake, As you look at them and you look at how they've hurt you and so forth, yet you say in your mind's eye, I'm gonna forgive that person because Christ you have forgiven me or God you've forgiven me through your son. You are magnifying the character and nature of God and the type of person God is and you are reflecting God in that sense and you are bringing glory to God. That's what he wants in each of our Christian lives. And so understanding the vertical is key to the horizontal when it comes to forgiveness. This is a basic truth, but it's so key and so foundational. Now, why should we forgive one another? Well, first of all, for Christ's sake we saw. Secondly, we should forgive. because the result of refusing to forgive others will include a loss for us, a loss of fellowship with God, which then will require his parental forgiveness in our life. You see, there is a consequence or a result of us refusing to forgive someone else. We will fall out of that fellowship circle with God, but not out of the family of God, is the simple truth of the matter. And we saw this in Matthew chapter 6. where Jesus said, for if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will forgive you, will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses. You know, I've read a book in the last month on forgiveness, and there's a whole chapter where the author, I'm not gonna say his name, it's irrelevant, but he says, if you don't forgive others, you will go to hell. And he says that because he doesn't understand the distinction between two types of forgiveness in scripture, judicial and parental. He interprets this passage as judicial forgiveness. Incredible. I thought as I read that, ouch, that's harsh. Ouch, if that's true, I got no chance of going to heaven. I'm blowing it all the time. But think about this passage for a moment. Look at what Jesus says. Is he addressing those who are outside the family of God, unbelievers who are unsaved? Or is he addressing children of God who have God as their father? He says it twice. Your father, your heavenly father. This is talking about parental forgiveness in the family of God. But what it shows us is, if we refuse to forgive one another, then God says, well then you're out of fellowship with me because you're walking in a manner that's inconsistent with my character and I want to forgive but you don't want to forgive. We're not in fellowship at the moment. That's the basic truth of that verse or verses. So we've seen The what of forgiveness, what it is, two types. We've seen the why we should forgive. Now let's consider who we should forgive. First of all, we saw last Sunday that we should never seek to forgive God. Why? Well, this is a basic truth. God never sins. He doesn't need forgiveness. He's the giver of forgiveness, never the recipient of it. And I say that because sometimes you actually hear this, that if you're bitter towards God, you just need to tell God that bitterness, and it's kind of a subtle way of almost accusing God, and that's just utter blasphemy. The Bible never says we should forgive God. Likewise, in Scripture, we are never told to forgive ourselves. Do you realize that? Why? Because our sin is always two parties involved, us towards God, and sometimes towards others. And when we sin towards others, other human beings, we still have sinned against God. 1 Corinthians 8.12 makes this point. It says, for when you thus judge or for when you thus sin against the brethren and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. So we are never told to forgive ourselves. And thirdly, we are told in Scripture to forgive anyone of any thing. anyone of anything. We are told this again in Mark 11, verses 25 and 26, where it says, and whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your father in heaven forgive your trespasses. Again, he's speaking here to children of God who have God as their father, and thus he's talking about parental forgiveness and fellowship forgiveness. But this shows us how seriously God takes the issue of forgiveness, so seriously that if we as a child of God are unwilling to forgive those who've sinned against us, then God says, guess what, now you need forgiveness, parental forgiveness. Well, there can be exceptions, Lord. You know, the little sins, I'll forgive those, but not the really big ones that really hurt me. And remember the words of the Lord Jesus, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him. I don't like that. That's what Jesus says. Anyone and anything. And so we've seen the what of forgiveness, the why of forgiveness, and the who of forgiveness. And last Sunday we began to look at the how of forgiving one another, and let's just review this point as well. We saw first of all, that as believers in Christ, we should forgive others vertically and unconditionally by releasing to God all desire for retaliation or vengeance we may have in our heart and commit the matter to the Lord's care while desiring at the same time the reconciliation with that other person and desiring that other person's welfare. That's genuine love. You say, well, I can vertically let it go and give it to the Lord, but I don't ever want to talk to that person again. Well, it sounds like you have an unloving heart towards that person, not a tender heart. It sounds like you don't really want reconciliation, which, by the way, is always the goal of forgiveness. You see, God doesn't want merely for you to forgive and clear the guilty and then walk away and give him the cold shoulder for the rest of your life. Now, the whole point is reconciliation and restoration and true unity. and peace between one another. This is the heart of God. And so we are to release that person to the Lord, just as we saw in Mark 11 verse 25, there's a vertical component as you're standing there praying, and if you've got something against someone else in your heart, you are to forgive them. Well, I haven't even gone to talk to them yet. That's okay. Talk to me about it first. You're already praying, so now confess it to me. Let me change your heart, and then you go talk to that person. So Mark 11.25 is talking about the vertical before we address the horizontal. And that's why this is so important, the priority of the vertical first. Secondly, we saw in terms of how we should forgive one another, that there's also this horizontal forgiveness, where the believer in Christ should seek to forgive the offending person or persons on the condition of their repentance. There is a condition involved for this kind of fellowship, again, and reconciliation, the condition of repentance or a change of mind, an acknowledgement of wrongdoing, in order to restore relational harmony and fellowship. Again, as we think of this diagram or this illustration, we need to release first to the Lord. There's the vertical. And then we go to the other person, and we seek fellowship with them, but we also expect it to be on the basis of truth. You know, at some point, some well-meaning people often object, well, if you practice that kind of forgiveness, you may as well be a doormat and let people walk all over you. Now, we're not talking about being a doormat. We're talking about being proactive, turning this matter over to God so that God can deal with people And that may involve, as I said last week, involving the government and the justice system of each government that he has put in place and ordained as Romans 13 declares. But this is where horizontal forgiveness comes in, in that it requires repentance and the distinction between ongoing trust versus a moment of forgiveness. I'd like to read to you a portion out of a book page 142, a book by Alfred Poirier called The Peacemaking Pastor. He says on page 142 regarding the need for transactional forgiveness conditioned on repentance, he says, the popular press has been quick to note examples of fatalistic forgiveness. Example number one, in Edmonton, Canada woman is run down on a crosswalk and killed. Eight months later, when the driver is fined $400, the woman's daughter shakes the offender's hand and tells him he is forgiven. Does that seem right to you? Secondly, a cabbie is suddenly shot dead by two 16-year-old boys. The cabbie's careening car kills another woman. And then the presiding judge refuses to move the trial from juvenile to adult court. The woman's husband responds by saying, it's okay, I don't want a stiff penalty for two little boys. Does that seem right? Here's a third example he writes of. He says, a young woman is stabbed to death by a friend during a late night drinking party. His mother says she has no bad feelings, quote unquote, toward the killer, and that, quote, he has suffered enough already, unquote. Does that seem right to you? Here's a fourth example that Poirier writes about. Molly McLeod is sexually abused by her pastor as a young girl. Later in her 20s, she goes public and writes letters to certain members in her congregation telling them what happened. They all reply that she should just forgive her abuser. She instead calls on her denomination to revoke her pastor's ordination. The denomination has yet to respond. Does that seem just or right to you? Poirier goes on to say, these are not stories of true forgiveness. They are the sad resignation of people who've given up on justice and have no hope for reconciliation. Forgiveness, which ought to be one of the greatest moral acts of humankind, is reduced to a shrug by cynical shoulders, acquiescing to the dark despair of fatalism." Wow. This is reality, folks. But there is a need for horizontal forgiveness and a condition of repentance. Speaking of this distinction between the vertical and the horizontal, I didn't just make this up and, you know, grab out of the Bible what I think is there. Others have recognized these twofold type of forgiveness here. I mentioned last week Wendell Miller in his book, Forgiveness. He says again, notice that the forgiveness in this verse, contextually Luke 17 verse 3, is conditional. And we'll see this verse in a moment. You are to grant forgiveness to those who offend you if and when they repent. In contrast, in Mark 11.25, believers are to forgive unconditionally. The forgiveness of Mark 11.25 is a vertical transaction between the offended person and God, and the forgiveness of Luke 17.3 is a horizontal transaction between the offender and the one he offended. What does it say in that passage? Here's what Jesus taught. Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him. And if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, I repent, you shall forgive him. How do you know if someone's repentance is genuine? Sometimes people say, well, if you go back and you commit the same sin over again, you weren't genuine in your past repentance. I don't think that's true. Do you ever have a pattern of sin in your life? As a believer, ask yourself honestly that question. You ever go back to the same old sins? The ones that you confessed and acknowledged to the Lord and you had a change of mind or repented about and received forgiveness for? You know, there are some in Christianity, many in fact, most perhaps, who would say, you didn't genuinely repent in the past if you're repeating it now. Really? Jesus says here, If someone sins against you and you go to him and you rebuke them and they repent, say, I repent, you're to forgive them. And then if they do it six more times, seven times in a day, you're to do it again. You are not to go to them and say, I don't think your repentance was genuine. And we must be very careful not to refuse forgiveness to others on the basis of past performance or past track record. but on the basis of present repentance. Do you see the difference? But again, let me underscore, there's a difference between trust and forgiveness. You take a wife who's been cheated on multiple times, and she says, I just can't stay in this relationship with this guy anymore. That's why the Bible permits the grounds for divorce of infidelity. Jesus taught that. Not because he can't be forgiven of his multiple affairs, but she can't trust him anymore. Sin changes things, and God acknowledges that. Or like a business. Let's say you're a Christian businessman, and you've even got a Christian employee. You praise God, you're your fellow employee, or you're the boss, he's the employee, and you've got believers working for you. And then you find out that this believer has been stealing from you. And you confront him on it. And he confesses it. And you give him a second chance. And a third chance. And a seventh chance. And so forth. Are you obligated to keep him employed? No. That's why I said last week, you can tell him, you're forgiven, but you're fired. Or here's a very gripping, emotional, uncomfortable example? What if somebody molests your child? Maybe it was a former babysitter. And you choose to forgive them. And then they may even acknowledge their sin, and you have a restoration of fellowship. Are you obligated to have them come back and babysit your child again? No. You see, there's this thing called trust that's different from forgiveness. And I say that because I have heard that used over the years, that if you don't let me just continue as things were before, you really haven't forgiven me. No, not true. You just haven't grown in your walk with the Lord and you haven't taken responsibility. But I do forgive you. Do you see the difference? You see, when it comes to genuine forgiveness, there is a need to rebuke or reprove in love, but also for repentance on the part of that other person. So long as when we go to people and we seek their repentance, it's for the goal or desire of having reconciliation and restoration and not just pushing them away. Saying, I'm done with you. Don't want to be around you for the rest of my life. And there is a need to speak the truth in love, as Ephesians 4.15 says. But notice what Jesus says here, and I love the order of verses three and four. Before you go to somebody else, you need to look at your own heart. That's why he says, first order of business, take heed to yourself. Then you can approach the other person or offending person to reprove or rebuke them as you hope for and pray for and desire their repentance. Now as we think of then this vertical and horizontal forgiveness again, just to show you that others have seen this in Scripture as well, I'm going to quote from this book here again by Alfred Poirier, the peacemaking pastor. In fact, I believe this book was recommended by Rich McCarroll. He says, Scripture sees forgiveness in two stages. One stage is what takes place in our hearts, and the other stage is manifest in our actions. We can call the first dispositional forgiveness, which we would call vertical, and the second, transactional forgiveness, which we would call horizontal forgiveness. Mark 11.25 is the basis of having or adopting a disposition of forgiveness, vertical. Christ calls the offended person to forgive the offender from the heart prior to any actual transaction at which time the offender repents and the offended forgives. That's the vertical. The distinction between these two again, Poirier goes on to say, dispositional forgiveness is unilateral, that's that vertical again. Only one person is actively pursuing forgiveness. Transactional forgiveness, conversely, is bilateral. Both the offended and the offender are involved. The offended rebuking and the offender repenting. The offender confessing, the offended granting forgiveness. He concludes, In transactional forgiveness, we take specific steps toward being reconciled with the one who offends us, and he or she in turn responds. In Luke 17 3, Jesus instructs, if your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. Notice the pattern he describes. Sins, rebuke, repents, forgive. Friends, this is the Two types of forgiveness the Bible describes. The vertical must come before the horizontal. Now, if we really understand how God has dealt with us so graciously, we would be willing to extend it to others and treat them as such. So how should we practically and biblically proceed with this? Well, let me give you some specific tips in this area, biblically speaking. First of all, we should take heed to ourself and be prepared to admit our sin to others. You know, forgiveness is rarely a one-sided affair, isn't it? It's rarely a simple thing. Someone has said forgiveness is like a figurative handshake, and you don't shake hands with yourself, at least not if you're a sane person. And remember that relationships and reconciliation always involve two parties at least. And none of us are sinless and never in need of God's parental ongoing forgiveness in our Christian life. So if we go to someone to rebuke them, as Jesus said, we need to be prepared, first of all, in our own hearts to forgive them. Otherwise, what are we seeking to accomplish if we don't take heed to ourself first? You ever done this? You go to that other person because you're just mad at them. You just want to rebuke them to show them they're wrong. You give them a piece of your mind that you can't afford to lose. And what is your real goal in that case? Just to make them feel guilty or for them to be forgiven? Do you see the difference? You see, if we don't take heed to ourself first and we're not going with a prepared heart to even admit where we've sinned before the Lord and others, then it's hardly a constructive conversation that will ensue. So first of all, take heed to yourself, be prepared to admit your sin. Secondly, take the initiative with the other person. Remember the order of Luke 17, three and four? Take heed to yourself first, then go to the other person. And by the way, won't that often take a step of faith on your part? Because let's face it, who likes confrontation? Now some do. Some get a kick out of that. They love to get a reaction out of other people and they kind of take pleasure in that. But most of us don't. In fact, we would rather avoid the pain and the displeasure that often comes with a relationship that is broken and may not be well received if we go to that person. That's where your faith in God will be tested and you have to entrust that person to the Lord and go forth in faith and realize God is bigger than this relationship, breach, or problem. It will take a deliberate act of faith on your part. But there is a need for loving confrontation as you go, desiring their reconciliation. Thirdly, I would say don't blow up at the other person. Remember the words of James 119, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath. Be prepared to hear something in return that you need to take heed to as well. Be patient, be long-suffering as the Lord is towards you, but don't avoid that other person or that problem either. By the way, avoidance never resolves problems, does it? In fact, it only prolongs the alienation and often deepens the hurt. And oftentimes when we avoid the person we need reconciliation with, isn't it often simply a masking mechanism done out of selfish motives because we want to avoid the pain and the unpleasant path of having to confront that other person for his or her offense, so we just shut down and avoid. That's not what Jesus is saying to do here. There is a place to go forth in faith and love, taking heed to yourself for the desire of reconciliation and forgiveness. In hope and prayer, that other person will repent. Fourthly, I would say as you go, choose your words wisely. In fact, if you're not ready to go to that other person, pray. Pray and ask the Lord, give me the words to say. Give me the right verses, in fact, from the word of God. Proverbs 25 verse 11 says, a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold and settings of silver. There is a place for fitting words that we speak Words of grace, Colossians 4 says. So ask the Lord for wisdom. He's promised to give you that, and then go forth with the right words to say at the right time in the right way. But also as you think of that, beware of gossip. I would say also keep the circle of people small who are, quote unquote, in the know. Isn't there a reason why the Bible warns about gossip over and over again? Well, Christians don't do that. Are you kidding? That may be next to pride, the number one sin we're guilty of. Proverbs 26 verse 20 says, where there is no wood, the fire goes out. And where there's no tailbearer, strife ceases. Isn't that a vivid way of saying things? Proverbs 18.8 says, the words of a tailbearer are like tasty trifles, and they go down into the inmost body. In other words, ooh, there's a juicy morsel we want to become aware of. But is it really helpful? Is it really edifying? Is it designed to build one another up or put self above others? That's the pride of our flesh. Proverbs 16.28 says, a perverse man sows strife and a whisperer separates the best of friends. Can I ask you this morning, what are you sowing? What seeds are you planting? Seeds that will help or seeds that will hurt? You know, regarding keeping the circle small, ask yourself this question as a test to see if you're really practicing grace forgiveness. Ask yourself this, could those who've sinned against me and then repented privately come back to church here and fellowship without other people condemning them based on what they've heard and what they know. You know, there's value in concealing others' faults as you seek the reconciliation and repentance process, because you'll be covering for that person. You know, we as Christians are very good at wanting a cover for ourself, but not very good at giving a cover to others. And yet, 1 Peter 4.8 says love covers a multitude of sins. Aren't you glad for the love that has blanketed you from God? Now take that blanket and throw it on others. Secondly, I would say beware of the temptation to justify self in the eyes of others at the risk or cost of unnecessarily exposing someone else's failures. What is the pride and tendency of the flesh? It is to always want to be right, to be justified. And didn't you have to give that up when you came to the cross? When you said, Lord, I can't justify myself, I don't cut it, and I need your grace, and I need the finished work of Christ, and you have to be the one to justify me. And you need to take that same approach that you took going to the cross the first time and think that way over and over again in the Christian life, especially in relationships to others. Now, how should we practically and biblically proceed with this? Well, here's another thing to consider. To the offended party, be specific about your sin. You know, don't go to that other person and say, for example, if I have hurt you, I'm sorry. Well, that puts it back on them, not on you. I'm sorry for how you were offended in this situation. Well, that kind of sounds like a veiled accusation, doesn't it? It doesn't sound like you're really sorry or repentant. So just like when it comes to forgiveness before the Lord in our own walk with the Lord, be specific in acknowledging, Lord, I sinned here, here, and here. I name it. Now, you don't have to Just simply name it. I'm not being, you know, rote in this or trite. It's important, but be specific. Take ownership. Take full responsibility is the idea about your sin. And be careful not to blame the other person. Be careful not to blame shift as this often happens. I'm sorry for how I reacted to your rude insult towards me. You ever done that? Of course you have. That's why you're laughing. We can relate, right? And the Bible says don't do that. That's not really taking heed to yourself. And I would say this as well. There's a place for restitution at times. Let's say you've stolen something from your boss. Isn't it the right thing to do to make restitution in that case, even if he fired you? Even if he's a believer? Yes. So there is a place for restitution. How about this? You've slandered somebody publicly. You've gone around and told others things that aren't true about that person. Is there a place to go back and say, you know what? I was wrong about that. And I'm seeking reconciliation. Now that's not necessarily restitution, but you're seeking to restore relationships again. That would show the heart of God and a genuine understanding of God's grace. Now how should we forgive one another? Well, let's turn to Matthew 18 with our remaining time here, and we'll look at a few passages in closing, a few more key points. We should forgive one another repeatedly, Jesus says. In Matthew 18, he illustrates this. Matthew 18, starting in verse Matthew 18, 21. Then Peter came to him, that is Jesus, and said, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times? You know, in Jesus and Peter's day, it was considered among the Jewish rabbis to be very magnanimous if you forgave somebody three times. So Peter thinks, man, I am going to double that and add one. Jesus will be really impressed. And what does Jesus say? Verse 23, Jesus said to him, I do not say to you up to seven times, but Peter, let's multiply that by 10. And so Peter's hearing this and probably thinking, ugh, up to 70 times? How is that even possible? You know how it's possible? By the grace of God. By remembering the grace God has shown you and how many times he's forgiven you, and by the way, it's a lot more than 70, isn't it? Then you will have the grace from God vertically to extend to others horizontally. That's how. I remember a story I heard of a U.S. general in the colonial days, or a general around the colonial days, he might have been British. He said to the hymn writer and circuit riding preacher John Wesley, He said, I'll never forgive and I'll never forget. Wesley wisely replied, then, sir, I hope you never sin. You know, we all sin and don't we all have a need for repeated forgiveness from the Lord? So why are we still stubborn in showing it to others or admitting that we have such a need? Amazing. You know, some object to this repeated forgiveness and say, well, this will just merely encourage more sin and offenses. Really? Remember that story we read last week from Luke 7 about the immoral woman who was forgiven a greater amount of sins than the self-righteous Pharisee? Notice what Jesus said in that passage. Therefore, I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little. Now, God isn't saying go out and sin even more so that you'll experience more grace and you'll love me more. He's not saying that. But He is saying don't object by saying that if you are forgiven of much, well, that's just going to encourage more sin. No, the person who realizes the debt for which they have been forgiven and the depths of their forgiveness will have tremendous gratitude and say, thank you, Lord. and live their life as such. Now thinking again of horizontal forgiveness and it being conditional, let's go back to Luke 17, three and four here. I want to make a few more points about this. When it comes to then extending forgiveness to someone on a horizontal level, based on the infinite grace of God shown towards us, There is a need for repentance, and many refuse to see this in Scripture. You know, I remember when I was a student at UMD, shortly before I was saved, I went to the campus priest at the Newman House, the Roman Catholic priest there, and I had one last-ditch effort to remain Catholic. So I went to him with my list of questions based on the Bible. And I remember he shocked me by his answers. He said that he believes one day in heaven we're going to see Judas Iscariot and Lucifer himself fully forgiven at the feet of Jesus because he believed in universalism. Jesus paid it all so everybody goes to heaven, including Satan, he says, and Judas. I was shocked. I got out of there so fast, and I'll tell you what, I never looked back on the Roman Catholic Church. but I ended up getting saved not long after that. What's the danger in unconditional forgiveness for eternal life? Well, it gives people a false assurance. You tell the unsaved, well, you're fine. Jesus paid it all. You don't have to acknowledge that you've sinned, you deserve hell, that Christ paid it all. You pacify them right into hell. How is that loving? Now when it comes to a fellow brother or sister in Christ who's already saved and you just say, oh, you don't have to repent, you don't have to acknowledge any wrongdoing, I just have given it to the Lord, that's okay. Don't you also give them the false assurance that they're in fellowship with the Lord? That they don't need ongoing parental forgiveness when in fact there's a broken relationship right here between the two of you? So let's not change the words of Jesus here. There is a need for repentance. Now look with me next as we go on in Matthew 18 to see this next point. We not only need to forgive repeatedly, but sincerely. This is the point of the passage. Up to 70 times, verse 22 said. Then Jesus gives an illustration, verse 23. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents. You know, 10,000 talents in that day would be the equivalent roughly of like $10 million today. So one servant owes the king about 10 million bucks. He's greatly in debt. There's no way he's gonna get this paid off on his own. Verse 25, But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. The servant therefore fell down before him, pleading for mercy, in other words, saying, Master, have patience with me and I will pay you all. Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him and forgave him the debt. But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him 100 denarii. Now about how much would that be? About 10 bucks in modern terms. So keep this in mind. That servant who's been cleared of his debt owed about 10 million bucks and now he's demanding about 10 bucks from someone else. Going on. Verse 28, But that servant went out, found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, ten bucks, and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me what you owe me. So his fellow servant fell down at his feet, begged him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay you all. And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he had paid until he should pay the debt. So when his fellow servants saw what he had done, they were very grieved and came and told their master all that had been done. Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, you wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you? And his master was angry and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due him. Now, verse 34 is legal ground under the law. That's why I like the Schofield note. Here is justice on the ground of law. Compare the grace God offered to sinners after the cross, after everything's been paid in full. Jesus bore the wrath of God for us. We are now to forgive others on the ground of his finished work. But going on, verse 35, here's my point. Notice, from his heart. In other words, don't merely say to somebody, I forgive you, but then you go around and you talk about them and you tear them down and you want everybody to have a case and campaign against that other person you've forgiven. Or how about this, more practically speaking? You say to the other person, I forgive you, and then you go back in your mind, and you know, you get in your workout. Boom, boom, boom, boom. You know, they're like a punching bag, a spiritual pinata. You're whacking them. And mentally, you've got to give this thing back over to the Lord. And you may have to do this mentally, sincerely, from the heart, but also repeatedly. And I say this because aren't we as human beings often on like a hamster wheel? Oh, I forgive you. And then I'm going to go back on my little treadmill, think all about it, rehearse in my mind, just replay that over and over again. And you've got to keep casting it upon the Lord. That will take an act of faith. That will take a deliberate choice. And by the way, it won't take a feeling. If you wait till you feel like doing it, you probably will never do it. Or how about this statement we often hear and use for ourselves? Well, I can forgive, but I can't forget. Well, it's true, you may not forget, but that's not the point, and that's not the metaphor, biblically speaking. When it says God doesn't remember our sins, they're buried in the depths of the deepest sea, that doesn't mean he shuts off his omniscience as he thinks of you and your past. What that means is he's choosing to let it go, but he knows all about it. In fact, that's why in Scripture, there are sins of the saints recorded forever. Did God obviously forget about those? Well, not literally, but practically speaking, He did. And we are to do the same. Choose to forgive in faith from the heart, repeatedly and sincerely. And here's our Second to last point, we are to choose to forgive one another graciously, just as Christ has forgiven us. Stop and think of grace. What is grace? It's his unmerited favor shown towards those who deserve the very opposite. So that's what we are to show others. That's what we saw in Luke 7.42 and also in Ephesians 4.32. And with that graciousness comes a posture of heart. Don't merely say, well, I forgive you, but I have a hard heart towards you, and I'm going to be really gruff towards you and not kind. Notice these things are coupled with forgiveness in Ephesians 4.32 here. The Lord is seeking to tenderize our hearts, and nothing tenderizes the heart better than the infinite love of God and the grace of God shown to us who deserve the opposite from God. Now, what should accompany all this? genuine love. For time's sake, we won't go there. You can look this up on your own. 1 Corinthians 13, 4-7 describes the characteristics of genuine agape love. But one of the things it describes is, it says in verse 7, that love bears all things and endures all things. And by the way, it hopes all things too. You're hoping that other person will repent when you go to them. And even if they don't repent the first time you go to them, you're hoping at some point in life they will repent and things can be restored. In the meantime, you're going to bear all things and endure all things with that hope and love in mind. Now, sometimes people say, well, I have a right to withhold forgiveness because you fill in the blank. How badly they hurt me, they keep doing it, whatever the reason. No, you actually don't have a right to withhold forgiveness because you've received enormous forgiveness from the Lord of all your sins, of all kinds. So who are you to withhold it from others? You know, you think of Joseph. He was mistreated by his brothers. They wanted to kill him. They threw him in a pit. They wanted to kill him and just get rid of him. Instead, they said, well, let's at least make a buck off him. Let's sell him to the traveling Midianites. So they did. And they thought, goodbye, good riddance, we're done. We made our money off our brother, only to have him show up in Egypt. He went to the house where he was put in charge as a steward and then tempted, et cetera, and falsely accused. And then he was thrown into prison. And then the butler, the baker, and the candlestick maker, they're in prison. forgot all about him and didn't keep their word. But you know, God was faithful and he had a plan. And Joseph's heart did not get hard. The Lord was with him. And what happened? In a moment, in one day, he went from the prison to the palace. He was promoted to second in command in all of Egypt, right under Pharaoh. And as a result, God and his grace and providence could use Joseph's position to have his brothers and the tribe of all the 12 tribes, the nation of Israel, come down to Egypt, be preserved through the famine as part of God's plan to preserve that nation. But as all part of that, he had to forgive his brothers. And you know what helped him forgive in that instance? Genesis 50-20. You guys meant it against me for evil, but I can see the hand of God in allowing it to happen. because God meant it for good. Keep that in mind when it comes to forgiveness, dear believer. Why does God allow you to be sinned against? Well, so you would learn grace. Isn't that a wonderful thing? To be more like your Savior. Aren't we all seeking to just be transformed more and more to be like Jesus Christ? That should be our goal, that Christ be glorified The more gracious, the more forgiving we can be. Lastly, let's turn to Matthew chapter 5 for one last passage here. We'll look at this more quickly. Matthew 5, starting in verse 23. As believers, we are also to forgive one another urgently. Don't put it off. Verse 23, therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, notice in this case, it's not you have something against your brother, like in other passages in the Gospels. Here, it's if your brother has something against you, and you know that there's a breach of fellowship there, what are you to do? Leave your gift there before the altar and go your way. Take the initiative. First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift. Agree with your adversary quickly while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge and the judge hand you over to the officer and you be thrown into prison. By the way, the heart that doesn't forgive is a self-made prison. And I think Jesus is talking about a literal prison here, but there can be figurative prisons we keep ourselves in as well. Verse 26, assuredly I say to you, you will by no means get out of there until you've paid the last penny. His whole point is to make it a priority in showing this forgiveness. And so this is how practically we are to forgive. Now much more could be said on the subject of forgiveness. It's very important. It's a daily thing. in our Christian life that we need from the Lord, we are to extend to one another. But I thought that these two messages would help you in a practical way in terms of the relationships that you're involved in. Let's close in prayer. Father, thank you so much for the Lord Jesus who loved us despite our sin and saw our need that it was greater. Your love was greater. than the depths of our sin. Your grace is greater." And so we just thank you for this. Thank you for how you've forgiven us through Christ. May we as a church just grow, we pray. And you would use your word now, the things we've learned, to that end. We ask this in Jesus' name.