I invite you to open your Bibles to Ephesians chapter six. Ephesians chapter six. It may be an odd juxtaposition to go from singing songs about the incarnation to now spending a few moments together thinking about parents and children, but all of God's word connects together. And it is the very coming of Christ that transforms our homes. And this is, in a sense, the main point of Ephesians 6, 1-4, that the Lord Jesus Christ should be in our homes and transform the way parents and children conduct their lives. Ephesians 6, verses 1-4. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, This is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Encourage those who have children with you this morning that you have your Bibles open and look along with them as we look at this portion of scripture, because it is for them as much as it is for anybody. Let's bow together in prayer. Father in heaven, we thank you for the instruction from your word that you address our lives, the whole of our lives. And I pray that you would do that this morning to us, that you, by your spirit, would speak to our hearts. And Lord, we would listen and receive what you have for us. I pray for the children in our church, that they would be children who are eager to hear you speak to them from your word. I pray for the parents that you likewise would address them from your word this morning. Lord, to the glory and honor of your name, for you deserve praise and honor and glory from children as well as parents, as well as from everyone among your people. We pray in Jesus' name, amen. Well, I have a quiz to ask of the kids and the parents here, but everyone can kind of participate in this a little bit. For everyone's at least been a child at one point, if not a parent. Kids, we'll start with you. Here's your quiz. You don't have to answer this out loud. You can just answer in your head. But if you answer out loud, that's okay, I guess. So here's the first question. When your parents tell you to stop doing the most fun thing you have done all day in order to go do the least fun you could ever do in your life, like clean your room, which of the following ways do you respond? So here are your options. Do you stop what you are doing with a smile, say, yes, dad and mom, I couldn't be happier to obey you right this instant. This super fun thing I was doing does not compare to the joy I have in obeying you. Or option two, you say, I will do that right away, mom, but it seems to me that you have asked too little of me to only clean my room. Is there anything else I can do for you once I'm done cleaning? Option three, you pretend you didn't hear what your parents said for as long as you can before you finally admit you need to go clean your room. Or option four, you glare at your parents, stomp a bit, shout, refuse, fight, complain, get punished, still refuse a bit more, hoping your parents will give in and withdraw the request for you to clean your room. Or I guess five, none of the above. Question number two, Again, for kids. Your parents make dinner. It looks like they scraped off something that was growing on a rock outside. Put it on your plate and put some mushy broccoli next to it. At least there's ketchup on the table. Your parents say it's nutritious, good for you, and this is your dinner and you must eat. How do you respond? Option one. Tell your parents that you had a really big lunch. You couldn't possibly eat anything else today, hoping that you have a candy bar somewhere in your room that you can eat later. Option two, you decide to take one for the rest of your siblings and stand up for what is just and right, and so you tell your parents that prisons serve better food than this, and perhaps some human rights agency should be called in to deal with the radioactive food that your parents tried to feed you. Option three, You say, thank you, mother and father, for working so hard to prepare nutritious meals for me. While my undeveloped and overly sensitive tongue may not appreciate the taste, texture, or quantity of food you lovingly prepared for me, please know in my heart it tastes delicious, and I'll gnaw on it with joy. Or I guess option four, again, none of the above. Hey, kids, how'd you do? Well, parents, I've got a quiz for you. Here you go. When your kids do not clean up their rooms in exactly the way you commanded them, you respond in which of the following ways? Number one, you decide that you can't deal with this today and just want some peace, so you put on a movie they like and tell yourself you'll deal with their room another day. Option two, you decide that this is the moment for World War III, and tell them in no uncertain terms, and in that authoritative voice you have perfected, that they will never do anything again for the rest of their lives until their room doesn't have one dust speck remaining in it. Option three. You realize this pattern in the life of your child is rooted basically in selfishness, and it will take a number of years of patiently teaching your child the right ways of living. And so you take a measured approach and calmly explain that their room must be cleaned and there will be appropriate and reasonable consequences if they don't clean. Or again, option four, none of the above. Next question for parents. When your child comes home later than your curfew allows, Which of the following ways do you respond? Number one, you call 911 immediately and report a missing child. And number two, you stay up until they come home using every second of every minute they are late to rev yourself up like a muscle car into a rage that can appropriately be put into gear when your child cracks the door open so they will feel the force of your wrath. Number three, greet them with love when they come home. and ask what has kept them, address the specific problem with prayerful wisdom. Or guess number four, none of the above. Of course, the scenarios I just posed may be a bit drastic and played out a bit, and the particular circumstances that you find yourself in as parents and children are so nuanced that they require wisdom in every moment. But it's maybe to point out that Both being a child and being a parent is not easy, and is prone to poor responses and bad choices. On both parts, there are many wrong ways to approach being a child, and there are many wrong ways to approach being a parent. And all of the wrong ways of being a child and all of the wrong ways of being a parent ultimately find themselves in some way as an unwillingness to follow God's ways. And our world that we live in is constantly undermining parenting and being a child. It does this in a variety of ways. Lately, we've seen this in some ways by trying to give children more deciding power over their young lives and stripping parents over the authority that they ought to have in their homes. It's also been practiced to minimize the significance of children in general, so much so that even the importance of having children is put into a category of if you want to or if you don't want to. And if you have children, well, don't let them take the place of your career and hand over their education to others and undervalue them in that way. It's not to say a public or private school or homeschool conclusion from that, just to say that the primary responsibility should belong to parents. Sometimes parenting has devolved into the point of simply putting a screen into the hands of a child and letting that raise them. And so the mind viruses of our world enter into the lives of our children through those screens, latch onto the hearts of our children, essentially abducting them out of our homes without ever removing them physically. And so we find that our world is trying to undermine God's plan for the family. It's not just the world. Our wayward hearts have enough say in the effects of our parenting and our being children. Our hearts are evil enough to lead us astray, and they do that. Parents do that through anger or apathy as they abdicate their role in the home, and children do that through their inherited sin nature when they resist the authority of their parents and kick against the goads of their parents' instruction constantly. So the family, should be no surprise to us in our world and in our nation, is in disarray. When we think about the work of the Lord Jesus Christ, we look to the cross and we marvel that he came to die for our sins, to bear our guilt and our shame, and to rise on the third day in victory over sin and death, and to ascend into heaven, promising that one day he will return and claim his people to himself. And we marvel and we wonder and we're so glad about that, and rightly so. But in the meantime, Jesus is intending to do something in our lives here and now. He's not seeking only to provide for us an eternal home to go to, although that is primary and essential, but He is also even now seeking to redeem and reclaim institutions that He created in the first place. And so when He brings salvation to a people, He looks to see the institutions that He's placed redeemed. And as of right now, it seems as if the family has been cast to the curb as a society, like some dilapidated table that's no longer useful. Well, when Jesus comes to save, what he does is he takes that table of the family, refinishes it, fixes the legs, puts it back in the home and makes it a beautiful thing. So when Jesus comes into a family, His intention is not to stay outside the door, but to come on in and transform the whole family, parents and children, so that it looks something like He intended it to be. And so we shouldn't be surprised that in the Scripture, it doesn't stay so otherworldly that it has nothing to say about what our world is going through. In fact, it addresses us with such specifics that it talks to children and it speaks to parents. This is so needed for us. Christ came to implement his new life in his new people. That's basically what the book of Ephesians is about. It starts in chapter one with the amazing work that Christ has accomplished in redeeming us, forgiving us, washing us, giving us of the Spirit, making us alive in Him. And then the second half of the book focuses on how that new life works its way into every part of our lives. And right now it's addressing the home. It's addressing the family and parents and children. Every relationship in your life should be transformed by the work of Christ And so certainly the relationship of parents and children. The way that Paul lays this out in Ephesians six, one through four is basically to give two sets of commands, first to children and then to fathers. And this is not to exclude mothers as we'll see, but it is to address really the whole family and show how everyone should conduct themselves. So I want to speak to children first, and then I'll speak to parents. And of course, everybody else should listen in. And parents, you shouldn't tune out when I'm speaking to children. And children, you shouldn't tune out when we speak to parents. First, we'll start with the children. And the main command to the children that's given is to, parents, you're going to love this, obey your parents. Kids, you need to hear this. And I want to speak to you directly in a few moments, maybe a little bit more at your level, but I want to just say something first that's really important to observe, for all of us to observe, and it's simply this. When the book of Ephesians was written, it was written by the Apostle Paul, and he intended to have this letter sent to the church at Ephesus, and then as was his practice, to have it read. For example, in Colossians 4, verse 16, he writes this, When this letter has been read among you, have it also read in the church of the Laodiceans, and see that you also read the letter from Laodicea." And Paul's so serious about having his letter read to the church that in 1 Thessalonians 5, 27, he says this, I put you under oath before the Lord to have this letter read to all the brothers. So perhaps you can imagine for a moment a setting where all the saints at Ephesus have gathered together. And they've received this letter from the Apostle Paul. One of the elders stands up to address the congregation, unrolls the parchment that he has, or the papyrus, and begins reading to those who are there. And he'd probably read the whole thing. It'd only take about 20 minutes. You can practice it at home. Read it out loud. It'd do you good. It'll take about 20 minutes to read. And he's reading through this letter, addressing everybody who's there, and all are listening. And he gets to this part that we've been looking at the past several weeks, and he gets to the part about husbands. And so husbands certainly start listening up maybe with a little bit more attention, but everybody's listening because the whole letter is to everybody. And he addresses wives, or sorry, he addresses wives first. And so they listen and hear, and then husbands, and they're listening and hearing, but everybody else is to be listening. And then after he addresses husbands, Paul gives this strong charge and says, Children. There's a big implication there. The implication is that the children have not been shoved off to the side somewhere. They are there in the midst of the church. They are to be listening and hearing what's being said at this time. And so this is essential that children hear the whole Word of God. They're there among them. It doesn't mean we can't have special time of teaching them, But it does mean that children should have some part in the gathering of the congregation. So, Paul addresses them directly. And the way that he speaks here is the word children doesn't have a specific age range to it. It doesn't mean a specific time of life necessarily, but more a relationship of children to their parents. But clearly he's speaking to some group of children that are still being brought up because in verse four, he tells fathers to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. There's still some raising that's going on. So if we wanted to put an age to it, perhaps we're thinking of ages five to 18 in our culture or thereabouts, but certainly that's a flexible age range of who Paul is addressing. So children, now I want you to hear this. Kids, I'm talking to you. Because the Apostle Paul is speaking, and really God is speaking through his word to the kids here. And what's he saying? Well, he gives you a very clear commandment. He tells you something that's not hard for you to understand. He says, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. This is what you're to do. This is how you are to live, kids. This is what you're told to do. Now, as kids, You're told very often things you can't do. You probably feel like that's about 95% of your life. The things you're not allowed to do, things you're not able to do, things you're not big enough to do. You're told all the time you can't run with scissors, don't spill the milk, you can't hit your brother, don't grab the cat by the tail, stop yelling like a monkey, don't eat like an animal, Stop asking for a pet elephant. It goes on and on and on. All the things that you can't do, kids. You're told all the time. And perhaps a bit more seriously, you may feel like there's very little that you can contribute in your family or the church or the world. You might have a sense that you're inconsequential at times, or just your physical stature isn't big enough to do things, so you don't really have anything that important to do. You gotta wait until you're bigger or taller or more grown up to do important things. See, the older people around you, they get to drive, they get to vote, they get to pick what they eat and don't eat. And so you might feel small, not just on the outside, but on the inside, you might feel unimportant at times. Or if you're maybe a little bit older, but still a child and you're a teenager, you feel like you're not given enough or you're not heard enough, or you don't have your opinions matter as much as you think they ought to. And so you just feel like you're so constrained and you don't have anything that's all that important to do in your life. Well, kids, I want to tell you that God has given you something extremely important to do. He's given you a job that is not insignificant. And it's so important, in fact, that this job finds itself in the Ten Commandments. And not just in the Ten Commandments, but it really kicks off the second half of the Ten Commandments. And so kids, as God thinks about you and thinks about children, He thinks you have a very important role in this world. You have something that is really crucial for you to do. Something that God has assigned to you. And so don't think that God thinks you're too small or too unimportant or insignificant. God has given you a job. And the job that he's given to you is obey your parents. Now, you are probably learning, as many adults do, that not all jobs you have in your life are jobs you like. But it's your job nonetheless, and it's an important one. And it's the one that God has given to you. If you want to know what God has for your life right now, kids, the main thing he has for you is obey your parents. This is because your parents are in charge in your home, and you are under their charge. And you get to do this in a way ultimately to the Lord. That's why it says, obey your parents in the Lord. Now you might think for just a moment, if it were the other way around, because you think, well, yeah, my parents tell me to do everything every day. And it's a tough job and it's hard to do. It'd be easy being a parent, but you can maybe flip it for a little bit. If you got to have the role of parent, and your parents had the role of kids. You think, oh, this will be glorious. This will be wonderful. Best day of my life. And so what would you do if you got to be in charge for a day or two or a whole year? What would you do? Well, you'd probably put your parents to bed at 7 p.m. and play video games the rest of the night. Meal planning. Cookies, breakfast, and dinner, and potato chips for lunch. You come to conclude that cleaning is a waste of time, so there's no need for that. That's off the chore list. Brushing your teeth, outlawed. But there'd be a problem pretty soon, wouldn't there? If you get to be a parent for very long, something's going to happen. The lights are going to turn off and you're not going to be able to turn them back on. The heat's going to go off and you're not going to be able to turn the heat back on. The fridge is going to be empty, and you're going to find that can of peas in the cupboard that you never wanted to eat in your life, and you're going to be so hungry you'll want to eat it. And you won't be able to get a job because you're too young, at least not a job that can support the whole family. And so pretty soon you realize, wait a second, God has made kids to be kids and parents to be parents. God didn't mess up when He arranged it this way. He made it this way for a reason. Kids, He made you kids for a reason, and parents, He's made parents for a reason. They had to go through childhood just like you're going through it. You have to become an adult only one way, and that's by growing up. And so, God gave you parents for a reason, kids. And you have to obey your parents. This is God's charge to you. Your obedience to your parents is the way God made things to be. That's why he says, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. It means this is proper. This is the way it's supposed to be. It's not supposed to be the other way around, is it? Where parents are the kids and kids are the parents. Some households run that way. Sometimes that goes on where The kids have all authority in the home and the parents are just asking the kids, what do you want to do? What do you want to do? And kids, you might think that would make you happy, but you know what? You're going to be miserable. And so will the parents be. Parents are meant to be in charge. And so kids, your job then is to listen to your parents and obey them. And this is not all bad for you. In fact, it's really good for you. Not only is it right and proper, this is the way it's supposed to be, but it also says that this is the first commandment with a promise. Honor your father and mother, that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. Now, this is just kind of self-evident, kids. Probably when you're very young, you grabbed some metal utensil that your parents didn't see. And you got very close to an outlet, getting ready to put it in there as far as you can to see what's going to happen. And your parent at some point probably ran over there, grabbed you and said, no, you cannot do that. Never stick anything into that thing right there or you will die. That was good for you. And if you learned your lesson, you don't go and grab the fork again and shove it in there. But it probably took about 20 times for you to learn that. Well, that was good for you. Do you know why? So that you can be alive today. That's good, isn't it? And your parents, if they know what they're doing, are going to continue to teach you things like that. Now, you learn not to put a fork into the outlet, but there are going to be more instructions that they give you that will help you to succeed in life and live life well. When they tell you, you cannot punch your brother when he says that to you. That's good instruction because guess what? When you grow up and you get a job and your coworker does something you don't like, you cannot hit him. And so you will succeed in your job and do better if you learn the lessons your parents teach you. And guess what? Your parents teach you brush your teeth. Well, one of the reasons is so that they don't have to pay big dentist bills, but another reason is so that you can have teeth when you get older. And that's important. That's why they tell you to shower. That's why they will teach you very carefully, hopefully, how to drive, how to handle money, how to handle a boy or a girl that you like. These are all instructions that you need to know and God basically promises that when you obey your parents, it may go well with you and you may live long in the land. We want you to grow up. We want you to be wise. We want you to learn how to live in this world. We want you to grow up and become adults that have good jobs and take care of your own family should God give you them. So listen to your parents and it'll go well for you. Now I want to tell you a little bit about what obeying is, and this is something we use in our homes, in our home a lot. And if you've never heard this, then maybe it'll be a help to you. Even if you're an adult, this would be a help to you. What does obeying look like? What is actual obedience? Well, there are kind of three components of it. Obeying is right away, all the way, with a happy heart. Obeying is right away, all the way with a happy heart. We've heard this from others we've used in our own home and it's really helpful in my own life when I think about what obedience looks like to the Lord. Obeying right away means you don't put off obeying until later. Do it now or whenever the one gives you the command tells you to do it, do it right away. That's real obedience. All the way means that if your parent tells you to clean up your room, they do not mean shove all of your things into the closet and close the door. Obeying all the way means do it the way they expect you to do it. Do the whole task. And then obeying with a happy heart, and this is the hardest one, means that you do it without grumbling or complaining. I know I've Experienced when my dad told me to go out and mow the lawn, I spent every minute of mowing the lawn complaining in my heart against my unjust dad who told me to mow the lawn. That is not obedience. That is not true obedience. True obedience is doing it with a willingness and even a sense of joy. Now, obeying your parents is so crucial, kids. is so important to your own well-being. When I was about 10 years old, my dad, who had been on the rifle team in college and then was a hunter and handled guns with the greatest care, was going to show me how his shotgun worked. We had a big backyard, and so he took me out back And he told me all about guns and how to handle them. He was so serious about it, he wouldn't even let me point a toy gun at another person. He took it all very seriously. And so this was a very controlled environment, and he was trying to make it as safe as possible. And I was so excited to finally see my dad fire his shotgun to see how this worked. So he set something up a little ways away, which he was going to shoot at. And I was to stand behind him, and he takes the shot, and I hear the big boom, and my heart's racing, and I'm so excited, and I run right out to the target to see what has happened to this thing that just exploded in front of my eyes. My dad only really yelled at me one time in my life, and that was it. Andy, stop! I never heard my dad speak like that to me. Stopped dead in my tracks. And he says, you never run in front of somebody who has a weapon. I haven't forgotten that, obviously. My dad taught me, trained me. He had to raise his voice in that moment to impart to me the seriousness of what was going on. And I haven't forgotten it. The kids. Your parents will have to instruct you in many things beyond just gun safety, because you need to learn those lessons. And I had to learn that for my own safety, for the preservation of my life. And kids, your parents are going to give you instructions day after day after day, and many of them you'll think are just worthless and you'll just toss away. But overall, your parents are probably trying to raise you so that you can live in this world Now, one more thing I want to point out to you kids, and then we'll get to your parents. So don't worry, it's almost over for you. The command is, obey your parents in the Lord. Obey your parents in the Lord. I told you kids that you have an important job, and it's not just to make parents' lives easier. Your job is to obey your parents in the Lord. Another way that the Bible puts it is in Colossians 3.20, it says this, That's an amazing thing. When you obey your parents, the Lord Jesus Christ in heaven is pleased. So kids, don't let anyone tell you that you're too young to begin following the Lord Jesus Christ. Right now, the main way you do it is first of all by turning from your sin and calling on Jesus to save you. Put your faith in Him. Trust Him. Even now you can do this, kids. And the way that you now follow Jesus is by primarily obeying your parents. And when you do that, the Lord is pleased. That's your main job. The kids, you're not too young to come to Jesus, to come to the one who has loved this world and laid down his life so that you can trust him and have eternal life. Follow him, begin trusting him. Know for you, the main job in your life is to obey your parents right now. Well, parents, if you've been listening to this, you hopefully get a sense that Your job is not easier as a result of this command. Actually, it's harder. Because you have to expect your kids to obey you. And if you are expecting your kids to obey you, you have to make sure the things you're telling them to obey you in are right, and good, and holy, and pure, and not just for your own convenience. And so, parents, I want to speak to you now, and particularly to fathers. Verse four says this, fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. And obviously a question comes up, why to fathers and not to mothers? And this isn't because kids don't need to listen to their moms. That's not the case. It said obey your parents. There's no wiggle room here. It's both father and mother. And it's not because mothers don't have an essential role. Proverbs 1, 8 and 9 says, hear my son, your father's instruction and forsake not your mother's teaching. The reason why Paul addresses specifically fathers here, I think has a couple of reasons, but maybe the primary one is because he's already established that in the home, the husband is the head of the wife. We went through that. We talked about what that means. And if it's to be husbands and wives who have kids, then guess who's ultimately in charge of that home? It's the husband who has become a father. And so Paul is targeting fathers to identify the primary person in the home who is responsible for how the home goes and is running. And so the fathers clearly then have to help their wives or the mothers live this out as well. And so mothers need to hear this too, but fathers especially, you need to listen. And perhaps it's also the case that fathers are more inclined to provoke their children to anger. Not a universal truth, but as fathers typically have perhaps a sterner and less unsympathetic ear than mothers do, fathers need to be careful how they wield that in their home. And so Paul targets fathers. Well, just a quick question then, what do you do if you don't have a father around or involved, either a single mother or a father who has little, no interest in his children? Well, then moms, I'd say to you, do the absolute best you can to teach your kids the ways of the Lord. This is what God has given to you. And I would remind you of Timothy, whose father was a Greek and seemed to have no spiritual influence on his life other than to perhaps lead him towards that. But Paul points out it was Timothy's mother and grandmother's faith that influenced him the most. Paul says in 2 Timothy 1 verse 15, I'm reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and now I'm sure dwells in you as well. How many of us have benefited from the godliness of our mothers? And so moms, don't miss what you can impart to your children. So I'm really speaking to both fathers and mothers, but fathers, I want you to take particular note that this is direct specifically to you with application, of course, to all parents. But fathers, do not provoke your children to anger is the main command. the huge responsibility to raise your child from cradle to adulthood. Development is slow, resistance is almost constantly given, and it can become a tendency of parents to give up on the slow progress that parenting is and want to move faster, and so try to cram more into one year or one month or one week or one moment that can actually fit in that time. And so we have a tendency to get frustrated, irritated with our kids. Take, for instance, perhaps an imaginary scenario where a parent is trying to teach the child how to tie their shoes. And the kid is fumbling around with these laces like they've never seen this before in their life. And that's probably because they've rarely seen laces in their life compared to how many times you've seen them. It will take perhaps not 18 years to learn how to tie their shoes, but certainly not one day. And so the parent says, put your shoes on and tie your shoes. They're hurried to get out, and the kid's there fiddling with the laces, and the parent comes, I've told you a thousand times, you wrap the rabbit around this way and stick its ears through the hole. Come on! And the kid in that moment, what does he do? Maybe turns around in rage. You didn't tell me that. You said the bunny goes this way. Or the parent or the child is so shocked that they withdraw and they cower. And in that moment, some seeds of bitterness and resentment are sown. And after year after year or day after day or month after month, these seeds begin to find root in soil. and you find that your relationship with child, which is marked by constant stress and irritability, is not the way you'd want it to be. And so, rightly so, Paul tells us, fathers do not provoke your children to anger. Lou Priolo, in his book, The Heart of Anger, gives 25 ways not to provoke your children. 25. I'll read them to you. Certainly, I can't unpack any of these to you, but perhaps as I read through them, something will strike a chord with you. It's something you need to work on, parents. Here's these 25. 25 ways not to provoke your children. Maintain marital harmony. Establish a God-centered and not a child-centered home. Do not model sinful anger. Do not discipline when angry. Do not scold. Be consistent with discipline. Maintain the same standards you hold your children to. Avoid legalism. Admit when you are wrong and ask for forgiveness. Do not constantly find fault. Maintain God-given roles for husband and wife. Listen to your child's opinions and take his or her side of the story seriously. Do not compare your children to others. Make time just to talk. Praise and encourage your child. Keep your promises. Chasten in private. Allow enough freedom. Do not allow too much freedom. Do not mock your child. Do not physically abuse. Do not ridicule or call names. Have realistic expectations. Do not practice favoritism. And the last one, child train according to God's word and not by worldly methodologies. Certainly you can think through how you would not want to be provoked to anger as a child and seek to apply that in your own parenting. Of course, there are huge dangers to provoking your children. Perhaps the biggest one of them all is it is understood that the fifth commandment, children obey your parents and the Lord for this is right, is an indication that parents or children as they grow in their home, have in a sense, an idea of who God is and what he is like by the fact that their parents are in charge of their home. So parents, you have a huge weight on your shoulders to represent God to your children in your home. For in a sense, you represent His authority to them. It's been mediated to you. Yes, you are not God, but you represent Him to your children. And if you use that authority in an unrighteous way, and you wield it in a way that is provoking your child to anger, then you are misrepresenting God to your children. Oh, how we need God's help. to raise our kids in a righteous way that represents God well to them. I believe that fulfilling this command to not provoke your children to anger is basically boiled down to the way Jesus puts it in Matthew 7, 12. So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them. That's the golden rule. And parents, you need to think about how that applies to your role in the home. It doesn't mean that you think, well, my child wants me to give them cookies for dinner, so I'm going to give them cookies for dinner. No, you think about how you would want to be treated as a child. You'd want to be raised in a nurturing and loving environment where you are patiently dealt with and cared for and instructed in righteous ways. If you're thinking in a godly way, that's the way you'll think. And so you will then come to your parenting with that mindset, with that desire and that ambition. And true love towards your kids will be doing what is best for them in a loving way. Perhaps you can think about it this way. Parents, you want your kids to be or to see in you the kind of parent you will want them to be when they grow up. Parents, you want to model for them how you want them to parent your grandchildren. So, do not provoke your children to anger. On the positive side of things, Paul gives other instructions. It's a strong contrast at the end of verse 4. He says, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. So don't provoke your children to anger. That's negative. Here's what not to do. But instead, here's the positive side. Bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. And this is very simply saying that the primary job of Christian parents, and especially fathers, is to train their children and admonish them in the ways of the Lord. And Paul has alluded to this kind of thing earlier in Ephesians chapter 4. verse 20, he says this to the church, he says, that is not the way you learned Christ. And he goes on to basically tell them how they learned Christ, assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him as the truth is in Jesus to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires. And he goes on, The point is that as the church was taught about Christ, they were basically taught how to live in this life, to live righteous and holy lives. So parents, your main job in the home is to bring your children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord Jesus Christ. This will mean that you are teaching them about Jesus, You're teaching them the ways of Jesus. You're teaching them how to follow Him, how to live for Him. Now, Paul uses two different words here. Bringing them up is the general word, but then in discipline and instruction of the Lord. Bringing them up means raising them or nurturing them, making sure they reach adulthood. That's part of your job, parents. But the way that you do that is through discipline and instruction of the Lord. Discipline indicates training. And a positive side, it's basically teaching. You're teaching them the ways of God. Now, many parents idolize education. You labor diligently to make sure your kids get the best grades so they can go to the best school, so they can get the best job, making the most money. And there's nothing wrong with learning to work hard and get good grades. Certainly that's important. But the main instruction that should be happening in a child's life, parents, is teaching them the ways of the Lord. It doesn't matter if they ace high school and get on the Dean's List and they live like a reprobate. They need to learn the ways of Christ. So spend your time on that. The second word is instruction. This actually has more of a nuance of admonition or correction. And it means that you've taught them the way to go, and then you help them put it into practice with admonition. You show your children the right way to live and help them to know when they veer off the path. Again, Lou Priolo, in his book Heart of Anger, gives a helpful analogy here of an apprenticeship. when someone at maybe 12 years old in the ancient world was sent to an apprentice to learn a trade, leatherworking or metalworking or barrel making or whatever it may be, carpentry. And the master would take this student and instruct them. They would teach them, here's the way you do this. Here's the way you make this horseshoe. See, watch me do it. And then eventually you put the tools into the hands of the student. And you let the student try maybe with the apprentice or the master having his hands on the student's hands and help them. Here's how you strike the hammer. And here's how you hold the tongs. And you get it just so. And then the master takes his hands off and watches the student. The student raises the hammer and hits. And the master says, nope, not that way. This way. Do it again. And tries again. Nope, not that way. This way. Do it again. And you keep on going, and that's training. You train them. And you give them more and more freedom as they get more and more skill. And you do it 10,000 times. Parents, God will give you maybe 10,000 times to tell your kids the same exact thing. And don't grow weary of telling them. That is your job. That is your job. You got angry today. Let's talk about that. You know God's word says, let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. What was going on? Why'd you get angry? What are you so angry about? Did you know that anger is a lack of love? Let's fix this. Or your child wants cookies for breakfast again. Well, let's talk about that. Life is more than food. We live by every word that comes from the mouth of God, and yet God gave us a physical need, and we have bodies that need nutritious things so we can honor Him in all that we do. I get a little older. You see the crowd that they're hanging out with. You want to hang out with that guy? He's selling drugs. Let's talk about that. My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent. Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers." Where will that friendship lead you, son, daughter? Let's talk about that. Let's go the right way. You want to play a sport? That's great. This sport is going to have us away for 12 weeks, away on Sundays. As a family, we are not doing that. As a family, we believe that worshiping God is the most important thing that we do. And we gather together on the first day of the week because our Lord is in heaven, having risen from the grave on Sunday. And so we are not going to do that. We will try to help you find some sport that we can make work, but we're not going to be away from church for 12 weeks. And so you teach and you train and you do it 10,000 times. And we remember that one plants and another waters, but it is the Lord who gives the growth. So parents, if you've done this and you don't see the fruit, don't lose heart. Your responsibility is faithfulness. And some of you may be thinking, well, I didn't do that. And it's too late now. Well, I would say it's never too late to repent. And the Lord is the one who restores the years that the locusts have eaten. And so you go to the Lord with humility and you confess to him that you did not raise your children right. And you call on him for mercy. And maybe you even need to go to your kids, even if they're so far from God that they don't want to hear from you again. Maybe you still need to go to them and tell you, you know what? I did not do it right. I confess that to you. I've confessed that to God. And I'm going to walk. in the way God wants me to walk. Parents, especially fathers, do not hand over the responsibility of raising your kids to the world. Don't hand it over to TikTok. Don't hand it over to YouTube. Don't hand it over to the world systems. Take control now if you still. Not the place where we leave the Lord at the door. The home is to be the place where the Lord Jesus Christ is honored. Honor Him there. Children, by obeying your parents. Parents, by teaching your kids the ways of the Lord. Let us pray. Father in heaven, the family is an amazing thing that you have created. And we praise you for what you have done. to create fathers and mothers and children. Lord, it is wonderful, and yet we see sin has marred it almost to an unrecognizable form in our world. But we thank you for the Lord Jesus Christ who has come to redeem, and we thank you that he's come to redeem families. And I pray, oh God, that you would do that work in the families that are represented here. Lord, you know the many heartaches that are in the hearts of parents, who see their wayward children. Have mercy on these parents, O God. And we pray that you would call the prodigals back home. Bring them back to Christ, O Lord. We pray for the children who are being raised here. The world is so tempting, O God. We pray that you protect them from the wiles of the enemy, that you would guard them, bring them to saving faith at an early age. We pray for the parents who are still raising their children, that you would give them grace to do this faithfully in a way that honors you. Lord, we call on you for mercy. Be honored in the families here. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.