Father, here we have a passage in your Word this morning that has been much distorted by sinful men and women, and that is one of the chief sections of your Word that's been under attack for decades now. And we pray, Father, that you would teach us very clearly what it means what it does not mean and that we would we would love this doctrine as it speaks and as it is a picture of our of the Lord Jesus Christ and his bride the church and so we pray father that you would build up your church that if there be anyone here today that is dead in their sin lost and apart from Christ deceived by external empty religion or whatever simple rationale that they might be a slave to father. We pray that you show mercy and bring your word powerfully to them that they might be saved and we pray this all in Christ's name. Amen. some quite a few different evangelical leaders met at a council on biblical manhood and womanhood in Danver, Massachusetts, and as a result, they produced a statement called the Danvers statement. You can find a copy of it in the back of Wayne Grudem's book, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, a response to evangelical feminism And here are just a few of the affirmations that are made in that statement. Number one, both Adam and Eve were created in God's image equal before God as persons and distinct in their manhood and womanhood and obviously you see right off the bat. If you've been here listening to the series of messages on abuse, you'll know that that that first statement is denied right off the bat by the abusive man. He does not believe that that women are created in God's image equal before God as a person and as a man. Distinctions in masculine and feminine roles are ordained by God as part of the created order and should find an echo in every human heart. That is part of being created in the image of God. Even an unsaved person has a conscience and there are certain aspects to their their person that, as the statement says, find an echo in every human heart. Third, Adam's headship in marriage was established by God before the fall, before sin entered the world and was not a result of sin. Fourth, the fall introduced distortions. Sin has introduced distortions into the relationships between men and women. For example, in the home, the husband's loving, humble headship tends to be replaced by domination or passivity. The wife intelligent, willing submission tends to be replaced by usurpation or servility. In the church, sin inclines men toward a worldly love of power or an abdication of spiritual responsibility. and inclines women to resist limitations on their role of biblical limitations on their role or to neglect the use of their gifts and appropriate ministries. The Old Testament, as well as the New Testament, manifest the equally high value and dignity which God attached to the role of both men and women. Both Old and New Testament also affirm the principle of male headship in the family and in the covenant community that is the church. Redemption in Christ aims at removing the distortions introduced by the curse. Christ in his redemption removed progressively right removes the curse. So all of the effects of the curse will be taken away in the family. For example, husband and Christian men. should must right forsake harsh or selfish leadership and grow in love and care for their wives. Wives should forsake resistance to their husband's authority and grow in willing, joyful submission to their husband's leadership in the church. Redemption in Christ gives men and women an equal share in the blessings of salvation. Nevertheless, some governing and teaching roles within the church. are restricted to men. Number seven in all of life. Christ is the supreme authority and guide for men and women, so that no earthly mission domestic that is in the home religious in the church or civil regard to government ever implies a mandate a command to follow a human authority into God. As soon as a any human authority government. The church. The man is the head of his family and employer. Give a parent over children. As soon as the authority figure. abandons God's will and begins to command and lead those under him in sin, has lost his authority. He has no authority at that point. And then to skip down to their number ten, we are convinced that a denial or neglect of these principles will lead to increasingly destructive consequences in our families, our churches, and the culture at large. I probably don't need to say this, but maybe we need to be reminded of it. The family and marriage is a disaster today, right? It's a disaster. Those of you out in the workplace, look around you and see how many people, for example, that you work with are either divorced right single parent with children. The family is in is a disaster. Maybe we should not be that surprised at that. We see that happening in the world. But, but it's just about as big of a mess in the church today by people that profess them to be Christian. This is a. This is a serious, serious issue, and it's becoming generational as the generations go by. children, grandchildren and so on are becoming people who have never known the stability and blessing of of a family and parents and God intended. They've never the norm becomes broken. They've never experienced. the idea of mother and apple pie right in America. What is what is that. Children are increasingly people that have never experienced anything like that. This statement issued in Danvers then is an accurate summary of biblical teaching and in our study in these past few months of the method and the mind that the tactics and deceptions of the abusive man. In particular, some elements of this Denver statement jump out at a headship and submission in marriage, for instance, never, never requires a person to, as they put it, follow a human authority into sin. Never in all that we've been learning about the horrible sin of abuse, especially as it is it works. It's evil in the setting of a home and marriage. We've been learning more about what is it? What does it mean to follow an abusive person into sin? And we've learned that that's really more than just a husband, for example, commanding his wife to you know, I stole this money from my employer and you are going to help me feel some more. Now there there is a clear command sinful commandment that the wife certainly does not have to obey, but it goes beyond that into more more common forms of wickedness and abuse. For example, an abusive man might tell his his wife You are not to talk to anyone today. I'm taking the telephone out with me today. Not so far-fetched. Happens with some frequency, as a matter of fact, in abuse cases. You're to stay home and you're not to talk to any of your relatives and so on. Or, secret keeping. Don't you ever tell anyone about this. or I expect the house to be clean, I want the kids quiet, and I want my meal on the table when I get home cooked exactly as I want. I make the rules here. Your job is to not question me. It is to obey me. You don't need to know what I do with our money. I hope that no woman here is in that kind of a position today, but I can tell you with Christ authority, you have no obligation before God to obey any in such commands. They are wicked. The man, an abusive person like that has no authority whatsoever before God to exercise those kinds of things over his wife. The Apostle Peter put it well. We must obey God rather than men. There are great limits to the authority that God gives to human beings. We are. The Bible teaches very plainly that biblical headship is not something that gives a person in a position of authority to function in a selfish manner. If it's a self-serving thing, you know. Hey, I need such-and-such bring it in here, right. If it's a self-serving thing that is not headship. Such a person has departed from any authority that God has given to them. Well, we find then this text that we read this morning, a central passage, Ephesians chapter five, central passage on the doctrine of headship and submission and that I thought it might be a good thing for us to set the context of where the chapter into the book in the first three chapters of the Paul is telling about the gospel. He's telling about the free gracious life giving message of redemption in Christ. He tells us this is just classic passages right chapter one chapter two. The gospel is entirely of grace. It's entirely for the praise of God's glorious grace. He has created a he's he's lavished his his mercy upon us The gospel leaves no room at all. Any no basis at all for any human being to both. You can never both. Well, you know, I'm a Christian. I'm saving. I'm not condemned for God, because I chose to accept Jesus and my neighbor didn't. That's a distortion. That is a distortion of the gospel. There is no room at all for man to boast and take any of the credit. God, while we were still hostile Well, we still hated God and we are serving the devil and we're walking according according to the world when we were apart from God without hope in the world headed for eternity in hell. God being rich in his mercy saved us. God took that initiative as Titus puts it. It's not by works of righteousness that we have done, but according to his mercy. he has seen that even the faith Ephesians. Even the faith that we by which we are in able to trust in Christ is a gift from him. It's not something that we possess in and of ourselves and then a chapter four. The apostle exhorts all Christians to walk in a manner that is fitting that is worthy of this great calling crisis called out of darkness and into light and really that that last part of from chapter four on including the section where Paul instructing us such people as Christians who are in regard to our families and our relationships. He's saying that he had been in chapters one through three. This is who you are in Christ. This is what God has done to you and in you in Christ and in the last part of the epistle. He's saying now be who you are right. That's that's the message that so much of the message of the New Testament doctrine be taught understand who you are in Christ practical theology. Now live it out. Be the person that you are in in Christ, come to a greater and greater understanding of what God's will for you. So you can see things as as God sees them. The person, therefore, who professes Christ, but still walks in sin, lives in sin. We're not talking about perfection here. We're talking about a person in whom there's no change. They profess Christ, but but there's no change. They walk as they've always walked. It turns out they don't know Christ at all. The first five verses again of Ephesians five. Therefore, be mimickers, right? Mimics, be imitators of God. As beloved children, a beloved child who loves his father, but he emulates his child, his father. He imitates his father. He knows his father loves him and he loves his father. be imitators of God as beloved children and walk in love as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God, but this is where you used to be sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you as is proper among Let there be no filthiness or foolish talking or crude joking which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving for you may be sure of this. And let me ask you, are you sure of this? Listen to verse five. Are you sure of this? Because Paul says you better be sure of this. Everyone who is sexually immoral or impure or who is covetous that is an idolatry has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. In other words, they will end in hell if they pass out of this world in that condition. Many professing Christians today do not believe that. They do not believe verse five. And apparently there were numbers that didn't believe it that much in Paul's day, because he is very emphatic about this. Verse five. You may be sure of this. and then he's going to say it again here in verse six. Let no one deceive you with empty words and there are many empty words being preached from pulpit this morning or have increased around this nation in evangelical churches. Empty, deceitful words that say you can be sexually immoral. You can be impure. You can be an idolater and you can still Be assured that you will end in heaven that you are that you belong to Christ. Let no one deceive you with empty words for because of these things, the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore, do not be part become partners with them for one time. You were right. You were darkness, but now you're you're light in the Lord. Walk is children of light. And, you know, in other places, Paul will say things like, If indeed you have come to know him. Then your children of light, so be who you are, learn who you are and be who you are. This would be, I think, one of the most hated messages that could be preached from many church pulpits today. You know, a pastor comes in into the pulpit. The Apostle Paul, you know, if he could be there and come and preach what the things that he wrote This morning, he would announce my thesis is this. Most of you here this morning do not know Christ. You're still dead in your sins. You remain under the condemnation of God. And if you pass from this life today, you would end in hell. Many churches need that message and we have to ask the question. Do we? Do we do do do some of you. I have better hopes than that. I'd like to be able to say for all of you. We're a small church, we know one another pretty well, not not perfectly, not as the Lord does, but but. I want to challenge, I don't want to be a flatterer that comes to me naturally, I don't like to have to say things like this. Some of you are in serious need of self-examination because if you pass out of this world today. And your family called on me to preach at your funeral. I could not stand here and announce with confidence that you knew Christ. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it and I won't do it. I won't do it. What about your loved ones. Do they know children young people. If you died tonight. Could your parents be confident that you knew Christ. Or do you do you love the love. One of the things that we find listed. In in in Romans the early chapter of Romans Romans one. One of those chapters is. One of those sins for which the wrath of God comes upon people disobedient to parents. Disobedient to parents. That's that's children. That's young people. It was young men that were consumed by the bears for mocking for mocking God's prophet. So, don't think, well, I'm just a child, you know, I'm just a young person. The wrath of God stuff, that's for adults. No, no. If you claim to be a Christian, if you come and sit in these pews on Sundays, but in fact you are still walking in agreement with the world, if your real comrades are, as Paul puts it, the sons of disobedience. that you're real body are that you're really comfortable with your life is a lot and you are a hypocrite and no hypocrite will ever see the kingdom of God. You are in danger. Christ pleads. Christ pleads with such hypocrites with such people. Come let us reason together. But you would not how often I call, but you you would not come. God sees you. Do you understand that? Do we really understand that God sees everything? You can fool people, but you can't feel him. He he sees right into the motives of our hearts. And. Such a hypocrite, a religious hypocrite is in grave and imminent danger. And if you are a parent, you are placing your children on that same path to hell. These are sobering things, but eternity is a very long time. These are serious, serious matters. The apostle continues then to outline for us what this new life in Christ looks like. And one of the central issues is relationships. What other area of your life and my life does sin foul up more than relationships? And we see it in chapter five, verse twenty one, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. I think we mentioned last week that that that verse is often used in an argument to dismiss the doctrine of authority to dismiss the biblical doctrine of of headship in marriage. Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ and so well, you know the argument goes. It says that we're just were to submit one another. Well, there's truth in that right. What is humility? All of us husbands, wives, masters, slaves, right, employers, employees, parents, children, elders in the church and the members of the church. All of us are to clothe ourselves with humility. And in that sense, we are to be in submission to one another, considering one another more important than ourselves. position of headship and authority and submission of that authority does not does not dismiss this. But the apostle Paul, as we clearly see as we progress on through the rest of chapter five and into the early part of chapter six. We realize that this cannot be what he means. Paul is not saying, Look, here's how it works. Here's how this works. And let's take marriage, for example. You just submit to one another and everything will be fine. Why submit your husband husband to your wife. But then, if we carry that out into the other aspect of life, the other relationship, the thing begins to fall apart, doesn't it. Children, submit your parents. And by the way, he says obey. It is a different word there for slaves and children, but children Obey your parents. Let's say submit to your parents. Parents, you submit to your children. That sounds a little odd, doesn't it? Eli submitted to his children and God judged him for it. Slaves, obey, submit to your master. Masters, submit to your slaves. And ultimately, as we mentioned last time, I think, and this becomes blasphemy, the church believers Christian submit to Christ Christ submit to the church. No, that cannot be what Paul is speaking of here where there is no authority and submission to that authority. There is anarchy. There is there is not peace. Submission certainly does not mean inferiority. If that were the case. then the son of God and the Holy Spirit of God would be inferior to the father the spirit would be inferior to the son the son would be inferior in nature to the father and suddenly you have the whole doctrine the whole doctrine of the deity of Christ coming apart then at the seams that the son perfectly submitted to the will of his father is the son inferior to the father of course not. Of course not. He is identical in essence and and and being yet in the economy of the Trinity. There are three persons three persons and one essence in the mystery of the of the Trinity of this doctrine of submission to a particular authority, especially in marriage models. It's a picture of the submission of Christ the son to his father and Paul then called upon Christian in numbers of aspects of our lives to submit to the king for instance Romans thirteen let every person be subject to the governing authorities for there's no authority except from God and those that exist to been instituted by God. Therefore, whoever resist the authorities resist what God has appointed those who resist will incur judgment. We are to be in submission to the governing authority submission to the king first Peter two verse thirteen, the subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution, the same thing, whether it be to the emperor supreme governor sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good for this is the will of God by doing good. You should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people, so the church Christian is not to leave some kind of tax revolt right against against against the government where the government is functioning within the confines of the area of authority that God has ordained for it. We are to be in submission. We are to be in submission to the king even if you taxes are too high, which of course they are right. They always will be wherever wherever the governor is focused and let's focus in on husband and wife. That's that the area that we really want to zero in on and which Paul and actually the largest portion of the section of Ephesians five. Discussing in our study of abuse and domestic violence. It's the authority and submission structure within marriage that we are primarily concerned with the let's look at verses twenty two to twenty four. Once again, why submit to your own husband after the Lord. Interestingly, I'll just make a note here. The word submit there in verse twenty two. is not there. It's been provided by the translator. That doesn't mean that it's not intended to be there. It's just that it's reflecting back to verse twenty one. Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Why to your own husband. OK, that's that's how the text literally is, but it does mean it does harken back to submit. Why submit your own husband to the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife. Even if Christ is the head of the church, his body is himself a savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also why should submit in everything to their husbands? Well, here is that word, isn't it? Sub, sub, that means under submit. We don't like that word. I don't like in my flesh and my sin. I don't like to submit to anyone. I want to be submitted to. That's how our sin, that's how our sin operates. And yet every one of us, husbands, wives, masters, employees, employers, employees, parents and children, everyone is called to be under some authority that God has established then for us. And to refuse that is to be guilty of the sin of rebellion against God. against God himself. Notice a few things about this section versus twenty two to twenty four that are addressed to the wife. The wife is called to submit wives submit to your own husband's let's just singularize this wife submit to your own husband. This text does not say women submit to men. Right now, actually, if you think about it all that plane. Well, it isn't so plain is it. That's that's really not quite so plain. We can easily have that thought going on in our minds that this means women are to submit to men. No wives submit to your own husband and even put them in a bad adjective in there which in Greek sounds pretty much like the word idiot. As far as the school pointed out, you know why you put a wife and your own husband. Well, it's like an idiosyncrasy. It's something that belongs to your own husband submit to your own to your own husband. Women are not commanded to submit them to men. Her submission is said to be as to the Lord, because, as we see in verse twenty three, she is submitting in a divinely ordained chain of command that begins with God the father down through the son to the husband and to the wife. The husband is the head of the wife. Even if Christ is the head of the church, his body and is himself a savior, as we will see, then the husband is obviously to be then into submission to his head, which is then to be in submission to Christ. What is the mission can do a Greek word study here, but I think that the context really defines what the submission is better than than a than a word study. the word that Paul uses is a hoop. That means under hoop. All possible something like to stand under. It means exactly as it's been translated to subject oneself to be subjected or subordinated. It's used in Scripture for submission toward the husband's submission toward master's submission to the government submission to submission to the law of God. Submission is not that difficult to understand what that word means. In Ephesians 5, Hupotasso, submission to submit, is pictured as the submission the Christian gives to Christ. Now sit up and take notice here. I think this is the point where so often This is this text is misapplied. What kind. What is this submission. It is the submission that the Christian gives to Christ. As the church submits to Christ. So also in the same way, why should submit in everything to their husbands. This is what is the nature of this submission. Well, that submission that the church, the bride of Christ, gives to her head. It's that submission that the Christian gives to. Price is his Lord and his master. So also why should submit everything to their husband and there's a there's another really good picture of this being subject to this headship and submission that will help us understand what it what this dynamic is about. found in your first Peter chapter five, and I think we printed that out for you here. This one has to do with the authority, the headship and submission structure that Christ has ordained in the church. So here, Peter in first Peter five is dealing with him. He's instructing the elders in the church how to shepherd the flock of God, and then he addresses in the last verse on the young, in this case, younger people, members of the church to be in submission to the elder. So listen to what he says and let's see how this headship submission dynamic is working. First Peter five, verse one. So I exhort the elders among you as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ. Notice Peter, he's not lording it over. as an apostle, I command you, and he could have done it was an apostle. I'm a fellow elder, so I thought the elders among you as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed. Shepherd the flock of God that among you exercising oversight. These are the things we learned in Sunday School this morning, exercising oversight, not under compulsion. But willingly from the heart, in other words, as God would have you not for shameful gain, but eagerly. Not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock, and when the chief shepherd reminder there is a chief shepherd right appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory. Now, all that instruction is to the elders to those that are have the position of headship. Here's instruction to those that are to submit to it. Verse five. Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders, clothe yourselves, all of you with humility toward one another. For God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Do you see it here? This is great. This really helps us see some things he's just said. Shepherd the flock, elders shepherd the flock and this is how you are to do it. So there's this active shepherding, right? This oversight by by the elders and then the flock is instructed to be in submission to that shepherding to that oversight. And then he says, but all of you do this in humility. Clothed with humility in an atmosphere of humility. This is how marriage is supposed to work. This is how God's headship and submission dynamic is to operate. Let's consider what is happening here in the first four verses in regard to the headship. First of all, we see here that there is a head, in this case elders, who understands that He has been entrusted with someone who belongs to Christ right. Shepherd the flock of God. Shepherd the flock as an under shepherd really right. The flock that belongs to the chief shepherd needs to be coming back. So do this faithfully for the receipt of a crown and not condemnation. He's been entrusted. Here is the person in this position. Same as the husband. He understands this, that he's been entrusted with someone who belongs to Christ, who is a sheep in the flock of God. Second, you have in regard to this headship, a head who understands humbly and in the fear of Christ that he is to exercise oversight, shepherd the flock of God. Now don't and it really becomes dangerous in regard to marriage. Don't think that you're some kind of man. Husband elders in the church. Don't think that you're some kind of pious, godly, kind person, simply because you step back and not only do you not domineer over. But you just are. Remember the Denver statement that we read either in either cause of the head to be domineering and abusive or to embrace activity and the one is is is evil than the other. The passive nice guy that everyone just love is going to have to give an account for that wickedness before God. The head understand he is to exercise oversight to actively watch over those that God has entrusted to him in the case of marriage, his wife and his children. Number three, you have here in first Peter head elders in the case of first Peter that understand that he will be held to account for what has been entrusted to him. The chief shepherd is going to appear for you have headship that watches over his charge with willingness and eagerness. What is that. Love for Christ. Love for the chief shepherd and love for the sheep. That's what this entails in the case of a of a husband. He loves Christ and he loves his wife and he loves his children with a genuine love. Love of Christ and death. You have a head. You have headship who rejects the abusive man's power, control over mindset, and who hates the notion of domineering over his flock, or domineering, then, over his wife. And it is against that structure of headship, which is the headship of Christ, it's of the nature of Christ's headship, that Peter then tells the rest of the church. Likewise, you were younger. Submit to this. Be subject, then to your elders and the word. There is the same hoopoe possible to be to be subject. This is the atmosphere. This is the dynamic of headship and submission. Submission is submission to Christ, because it is submission to a head who is in submission to Christ. It is a submission to headship that is consistent with Christ's headship over the church. And therefore, there is a there is, let me suggest this to you, that in Ephesians five and first Peter three and first Peter five. Let's just look at the ones on on marriage and some in in Colossians as well. there is a plain assumption functioning in the tax that the husband is in submission to Christ loving his wife as Christ loves the church having the same desire for his wife as Christ has for the church and therefore she can submit to him in everything. As to the Lord and doing so she submitting to the Lord because her husband's leading is conformed to that of Christ. This requires some serious consideration for all of us and let me give you an example why. Here is this common statement is common application. I think I've made it before that that headship and submission in marriage means. that a wife must submit to her husband. Even if he is not in submission to Christ, even if he is not loving her as as he is supposed to write. So we tell a wife. Submission is the answer to everything. Submission is the answer to every problem in your marriage. Go home and submit, submit, submit, submit, and things will get better. That's the answer. If you'll just submit more, if you'll be better and more godly by submitting and doing what it says here to your husband, then your marriage will get better. that is bad bad and I think unbiblical. The. As soon as a husband. And a wife can be an abuser to remember that, but we'll just for simplicity keep this in the husband wife scenario here man woman scenario. As soon as a husband. exercises supposed authority. That is not Christ authority. The Christ is not given him. He's operating on an abusive manner of simple, selfish manner. He has no authority. He has no authority and a wife does not have to submit. To that. misuse of authority anymore than you or I have to submit to a government when it tells us you will not reach the gospel of Jesus Christ. Authority is limited. God. God does not give unlimited authority. Consider these parallels in Ephesians chapter five. The husband is the head of the wife as. Christ is the head of the church. The wife submit to her own husband. As the church submits to Christ. The husband does not watch over his wife grudgingly, but willingly and humbly without domination. Christ watches over his church sacrificially and even humbly. He leads without domination when he came. He didn't lead with his people with domination, though he's the king of kings. He came and he served the husband's goal is the spiritual sanctification of his wife, her well-being in every sense of the word. Christ's goal for his bride, the church is for her sanctification, so that she can be holy and without a spot of sin. The husband is to understand that he and his wife are one flesh. Christ and his church are mystically joined by the spirit into one body. we are in Christ. This is how marriage is. This is how God has ordained it. This is how the thing looks. This is how it functions as created by God. This is headship and submission as it is supposed to be, and this is the headship, the shepherding that the husband is to exercise, and it is the headship to which the wife is called to submit and know and she can do that and know that in doing so. She's following Christ now have any any husband here exercise perfectly have been loved our lives as Christ love the church right. Don't dare raise your hand in the end. Of course, we haven't and we are sinners and and women wives have not submitted to their husbands as and the church should submit them to the Christ, but this is the character of the nature of the essence of the headship submission. This is marriage. This is marriage as Christ has ordained and this is the thing that we will be. Where there is a Christian man married to a Christian woman. This is the dynamic that will increase, increase, increase, increase as we grow in Christ. It will. It's the nature of the Christian. Listen, therefore, listen to these challenges, and I give them particularly to the men. Men as leaders, like it or not, the load falls on us. Fundamentally, it falls on us. Men, Christ calls you. to be growing in him. He calls you to shepherd your wife whom he's entrusted to you. And she belongs, ultimately, to Christ, not to you. Remember that he calls you to stop serving yourself to stop domineering yourself over your wife and to love her and give yourself for her. He calls you to take up your cross and follow him in submission to him so that your wife can submit to and follow you. She can't submit in everything to you. She can't submit in doing that to Christ. If you are not in submission to Christ, how can you ever expect men your wife to submit to you? If you are a man who is careless about your walk with Christ and worldly, how can you expect? Of course, if she's a Christian in particular, she's not going to submit to you. If you never read your Bible and leave your family and in the study of the Scriptures. Do you understand and that the husband who served himself who is arrogant and proud is a man that God himself is opposed to God is opposed to proud to give grace to the humble. Men, if God is opposed to you. Why should your wife be required to submit to you. God is opposed to you. Christ is opposed to Do you see, then, men, husbands, that there is not here in Scripture a single instruction given to husbands of this kind of nature? Husbands, you get your wife in submission to your authority. You make sure she obeys you. You know, I think that kind of thing has been taught in fundamental Bible-believing churches. You women, you get in line. You have men, you get out there and get Get your get your woman in line. Make sure she obeys you. There's nothing like that in Scripture. If you believe your wife is not submitting to you, look to yourself. Look to yourself first. All right, do some serious self-examination. If you if you are like this point, if you have to tell her you submit to me. Most likely something is wrong with you. Most probably that's that's where the problem. The problem. Now think carefully about this. This is Ephesians. Who's the letter addressed to. Who's the letter address what kind of people. What kind of people is Paul's epistle addressed to the saints. Christians addressed to Christians. What kind of marriage is this that we're looking at here. Well, it's marriage of God intended it marriage restored its marriage in Christ. It is a Christian marriage. What kind of people are in this marriage. Christian. A Christian husband and a Christian and a Christian wife now. in other places in Scripture, and I think first Peter three is one of them that will plan to deal with them in a future study. But there are other places in Scripture where where instruction is given to aberrations of the of the law where the wife has gotten paid in the husband's not or vice versa. First Corinthians seven dealing with those with those kinds of things, but Paul is showing headship and submission in a marriage that is in submission to Christ in which the people, the husband and the wife are genuine Christians. Now, Paul's parallel, and that's why I read those parallels, Paul's parallel is this. Look, marriage is like, it's like the bride of Christ, the church in submission to her husband, her head, Christ. And that's how it is to be in the marriage. How does a Christian, the real church, the real true body of Christ, how does that bride relate to Christ her head? She loves him and she submits to him. Because she knows she knows it's Christ, he loves, he gave himself, he gave himself for her. The bride submits to and follows the bridegroom. how, and I'm not going to say should be. I'm going to say that is how it will be. I require some sanctification and it'll get better and better, but that is how it will be. When a Christian woman marries a Christian man. It will just as much as when a Christian is saved and is a Christian. With that person will submit to than the Lord Jesus Christ. A godly Christian wife will increasingly probably imperfectly at first, right? But as they grow, we'll follow the lead of and submit to a godly Christian husband, just as naturally as the church follows and submits to Christ. Then why do we have all these struggling marriages in the church? Why. Let me suggest this to you. Some of them. It might be from. Just ignorance. Right. Maybe they're new Christians or maybe whatever it might be just ignorant and they need to be instructed. But frankly I think that the real reason goes much deeper than that. I think that we have a lot of Christian marriages that are Christian. What is going to happen. You were counseling and were counseling and were counseling people. Look, this is what the Bible says. Come on and drag you along and do it. Well, that's something's wrong there. What? What? What is this? What is this? Where the where the husband and the wife are Christians, the lights are coming on. They love the word of God. They don't see it as foolishness. They don't keep opposing it. And the marriage begins. It begins to work. We say, oh, yeah, you know, man, there's been that troubled marriage there for 10 years or longer. Why is that? Who do we not need to ask the question more often and challenge people, then you're not saved. you don't you don't know you don't know if you're both in Christ. This is how then it is going to work on. You can no more a Christian husband and a Christian wife can no more continue to reject and despise God's instruction for marriage. Then then we've got a Christian could reject and despise Christ instruction and headship and arm and not men refused to obey him. Theology matters doesn't the nature of salvation that the nature of the church the nature of regeneration and sanctification always come right home to bless or haunt in regard in regard to marriage. As I look back over the years, I've seen in counseling, and it really hasn't dawned on me that much until recently, but this business of counseling and counseling and counseling and counseling for years and years and years, months and months and months, and not really seeing any change, especially in the areas of marriage counseling. And then there's been a few cases over the years that I've seen where point out a couple of things in the Word of God. Off they go. We need to examine ourselves seriously to see whether we are in the first place to begin. If there are problems in the marriage now and of course a Christian can find themselves married to an unsaved person. You can have people that are unpaid and let's say the husband comes to Christ. And maybe his wife has been as we call a Jezebel abuser. She's the abuser in the family. She's certainly not going to like this instruction that's given here that her husband is to step forward now and to be the head of the home and yet that would be Christ's instruction to him and he should give it a good try right. He should begin loving her as Christ loved the church and who knows who knows what she will be led to Christ. Maybe not. Maybe not. And then in the case of an abusive husband whose facade whose mask has been Christianity. You see, he will always have some kind of a facade to deceive people. Such a man is going to make much of Ephesians five and first Peter three, the submission passages to Lord to lord it over his wife. Such a man. This is how foolish such a man is. Those same passages condemn him. They condemn him. The same scriptures that he quotes because he is revealed as one who who is lording it over an abusive way. His wife and seeing himself as superior rather than following the leadership that Christ and he's not in submission to Christ. He's not in submission to Christ. Well, we need to deal with first Peter three eventually, because after all, Peter said, likewise, why be subject to your own husband, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and sure and pure conduct. So doesn't that mean then that even if a husband is sinning and leading in sin, he after all, he says, even if some husbands don't obey the word be subject to them anyway. Well, we need to look at that. Does that mean then that the wife is to submit herself to her husband, even when he's being disobedient and the price in everything, no matter what largely. That's what we've been telling women in the and I think that is wrong and that it's unbiblical, but we will look at that passage before we're done with this series. Let me conclude with the liberal Bible unbelieving arm of supposed Christianity and its take on the biblical doctrine of headship and submission. The biblical doctrine of headship and submission in marriage is not the cause of wife abuse. It is not the cause and yet it's very often targeted as the culprit, particularly by professing Christendom that rejects the authority and inspiration of the Word of God. Here's an example. This comes from this one happens to come, although there's plenty of Protestant ones, too, from a Roman Catholic priest in Saint Paul, Nebraska. It's quoted in Al Miles' book. He's a liberal Protestant. Domestic violence, what every pastor needs to know. And this is what this Catholic priest said. Male headship sets the stage for domestic violence. I don't subscribe to that in any way, shape or form. When we talk about a man and a woman in the sacrament of matrimony, we're talking about a partnership. People working together. One partner is just as much the expression of God's creation as the other. Well, half-truth, right? Yes, absolutely. Each one, the husband and the wife, man and the woman, are just as much an expression of God's creation as another. But no, it's not talking about a 50-50 partnership. That is not. It is a partnership. But, you see, he's denying that there is a head. Miles brings up some good information in his book, and he's trying to bring the problem of abuse and domestic violence to the attention of the church, and that's a good thing. However, he rejects the authority of the Word of God. Listen to what he says. I have many problems with the male headship, female submission model. And, by the way, I don't like those terms. A husband headship and the wife submission. It's not because, well you're a head because you're a man and you have to submit because you're a woman. All right? You can see how he's taking that and taking it wrongly. I have many problems with the male headship, female submission model in a marriage or other intimate partnership. other intimate partnership is not going to be an intimate partnership, unless it's in a marriage. First, it presents a dangerous structure. So, Paul's doctrine here is dangerous. While power in and of itself does not damage, and certainly not everyone given authority abuses it, history has shown that power in the wrong hands has the great potential to hurt or destroy others. True. When we tell men They are the authorities, heads, leaders, lords, masters, or rulers over their adult women partners. We are only a small step away from giving these men, especially those who are insecure, immature, or emotionally or psychologically unstable, permission to abuse women. When a pastor, a spiritual leader, reinforces the notion that men's authority over women is from God or Christ, men feel all the more justified in abusing women. Well, that's filled with distortions, and it'd take us another hour to sort that out. Does Paul teach that men have authority over women? No. No, that's not what he's talking about at all. Is Paul teaching that the husband is the Lord and master and ruler? No, that's not what he's teaching at all. We should recognize, however, that many, many times. Unfortunately, the Bible believing church has has presented headship and submission in marriage in almost some of those terms. Well, he goes on cutting down the plain teaching of God's Word. What's the problem? Why do they have such a problem. First of all, they reject the authority of the Word of God. Number one. Second, in today's environment, if you want to be a flatterer and a pleaser of people, then you're sure not going to be holding to the doctrine of headship and and and submission in marriage. Why can he say, boy, if you give this doctrine to two people, if you preach the doctrine to people, they're going to abuse it. They're going to do that. You know what? I think it's because that's been their experience in their churches. Why is it? Because their churches are filled with unregenerate people. This doctrine is not for unregenerate people. Right now, I would want to qualify that statement a little bit, too. There's truth in God's creation order for marriage that apply to every marriage, every marriage, but specifically the Apostle Paul is talking to believers in in the in so many churches. You got people that pay you were baptized as an infant. You're a Christian or you know what? Whatever the easy believe is important. You're a Christian and then you teach doctrines like this. to those kind of people. Yes, yes, it's trouble. But guess what? People that love Christ, that know Christ, and they've experienced that his love for them. They know what the Apostle Paul is talking about, and their marriage will blossom and grow. Who would not? What woman? What wife? What husband would not want to be in a marriage in a home like this that Paul describes in Ephesians in Ephesians chapter five. If any man thinks that Ephesians chapter five is God's license to him to lord it over his wife. When I finished that I thought I can hear Lloyd Jones saying something like this right. Then you are not a Christian at all and you need to examine yourself. Let's pray. Father we pray that your spirit and your truth would invade our hearts and invade our homes. Father, we do not want to see the devastation of sin in marriages and families in this church that is going on in the world. Father, we pray that you would effect repentance where it needs to happen. Husbands that are lording it over their wives. If there be wives that really are rebelling against godly, Christlike leadership of their husband. Did you cause them to examine how can they be a Christian and rebel against Christlike leadership that you cause all of us to examine? Examine our hearts. Father, we we pray that you would protect our homes from all of these deceptions and attacks that are coming against this great institution of marriage in the family and show us father where we might be guilty in ways of being conformed to the world in our thinking about these things and we pray this in Christ's name. Amen.