Thank you for listening to the media ministry of the Puritan Reformed Presbyterian Church in San Diego, California. If you are blessed by what you hear and would like to help keep our little church going as a ministry partner with your cheerful gifts, please listen for instructions at the end of this message. Again, beloved, we open back to the Proverbs as we were in Proverbs this morning. This evening, Proverbs chapter 24, verse 26. This morning it was Proverbs chapter 22, verse 28. Not removing the old land, ancient landmarks of our fathers, ultimately of God. This evening, Proverbs 24, verse 26. Let me read that for you now. Hear now the true living word of God. Every man shall kiss his lips that giveth a right answer. A brief verse. Let me read it again for us. Every man shall kiss his lips that giveth a right answer. And the way to understand this in terms of the way it's laid out, especially in the Hebrew, but the one who gives a right answer, the one who speaks truths, a straight shooter, who speaks the right thing in the right way, that person, other people shall kiss his lips. And that's an expression, certainly within the culture of the scriptures, it's this idea of showing appreciation. and relief and thankfulness for someone that's willing to speak like that. Once again, every man shall kiss his lips that giveth a right answer. We do have a phrase, I'm going to be straight with you. You ever heard anyone say that? You ever see that? I'm going to be straight with you. And what is that expressing? I'm going to be direct. I'm going to speak honestly with you. I'm not going to beat around the bush. Another phrase we have. We also sometimes say of others, they are straight shooters. Or sometimes we might say of ourselves, if we try to be like that, I'm a straight shooter. Meaning, I want you to understand, I'm not going to tell you what you think you want to hear. I'm going to tell you what you need to hear. And that doesn't mean that we can just be careless about it, and not have a concern about how to speak in a way that can be best received. But the idea is that we are direct when we say, I'm going to be straight, or I'm a straight shooter. Honest, trustworthy, helpful. With just judgment, no respecter of persons. You may be my mother, you may be my brother, you may be my boss, but I'm going to tell you the truth. A true testimony when most lie, or a true testimony when most stay silent. to someone or about someone. You know, we have in our larger catechism discussions of not bearing false witness and what is required in that. It talks about speaking when you need to speak, especially in a court of law, especially giving testimony, especially when others won't, for the good name of others, and that's certainly related. But the Hebrew word for right, when it says the person that gives a right answer, the person that gives a right response, a good response, it could be translated honest or straight. honest or straight. Not convoluted all over the place, you don't really know where this is going and how much of this is spinning a yarn, so to speak, and what is truth. Straight shooter, the one who speaks straightly, rightly, honestly. That's the idea of the person we're talking about, the way they speak, and then we'll think about the impact that has in others. One commentary says this about our verse. This is an implied comparison for giving an honest answer. Honesty is like a kiss. This kiss would signify love, devotion, sincerity, and commitment in that culture, an outward expression of what is in the heart. It is an apt illustration of telling the truth, a sign of true friendship. Think about a kiss as an intimate thing, right? It's an expression of trust, safety. You're not going to kiss someone you don't think is safe. Here's the point of our text, and I give it to you. Wise, honest responses receive rejoicing appreciation from those who sincerely seek it. Of course, there are other proverbs about a fool who won't listen, who won't take true advice. But wise, honest responses, and that's the idea, how we are responding when we might be called upon in a court of law, when we might be called upon when someone's seeking advice, Wise, honest responses receive rejoicing appreciation from those who sincerely seek it. Again, why? Because it's hard to find. It's hard to find people who will be honest. It's hard to find people that will tell you the truth or tell you things that others aren't willing to tell you. It's hard to find people who are willing to stick their neck out and have you possibly reject them. Have them reject you for telling them the truth. It's easier. What's something a lot of people say? Oh, I don't want to get involved. It's hard to find people that will get involved. It's hard to find people that will actually say something that needs to be said. and that will say the truth and say it right and in love. You see, it knows what is true and speaks the truth in love. Ephesians 14, excuse me, 4.15, speaking the truth in love. Such a speaker, such a response employs thoughtfulness and an intention to bless. Reads the room, reads the character, considers what needs to be said and how it should be said to try to draw out the best possible scenario. That's why it's wisdom. Proverbs are about wisdom. And it is an acquired thing that we learn to do. It's similar to Proverbs 25.11. Look there with me, something we're pretty familiar with. Proverbs 25.11, a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold. in pictures of silver. When somebody says the right thing at the right time, it's the kind of thing that stays with a person. It's as if they frame it and put it up on their wall. We're able to say something in a meaningful way that resonates, that's so apt for the moment and it's wise. And similarly to our verse, people want a kiss. They're so thankful for how that wise word was said when it needed to be said, or they're even going to frame what has been said as a declaration. Now, the opposite is also not far. Look at chapter 24, verse 2. Here's the opposite of what we would want. about our response. Proverbs 24 verse 2, So that's the opposite. Studying to take the opportunity for their own purposes and gain. Seeking the opportunity to speak in a way in the moment not to help and bless but ultimately to take advantage of and essentially curse and make it for their own means. That's the opposite of what we're looking at. Matthew Henry speaks about our text in this way, and he acts as if it's, at least the way he's speaking in his commentary, that it's particularly addressing judges, princes, magistrates, those in authority who have to consider things. You might think of Solomon. Why does he pray for wisdom? Help me, Lord, to be able to know how to govern all these people. And why do we speak of the wisdom of Solomon? Because when this situation is brought to them, it's a very tricky situation and his response is very wise. And it draws out the truth, including drawing it out of the one who's lying, of the two mothers. And that's kind of what this is about. And so in particular, we would hope that this would be true of our leaders, that they'd be careful with their words, that they'd be deliberate, and they would be looking always to bring about as much of a benefit as possible, even when things need to be said truthfully. So Matthew Henry, in his commentary, particularly acts as if this is for judges, princes, magistrates, but with application for all in the family, church, and state. And he gives four things that I just give you sections of in terms of understanding and applying. First of all, they must always weigh the merits of a cause and not be swayed by any regard, one way or other, to the parties concerned. So you might argue in politics, it doesn't matter which side of the aisle this has something to do with. It matters if it's true. It matters if it's right. And it's hard to find politicians who will do and say what is right, because it could cost them. So when we find one, we almost do want to kiss them, don't we? Because they're so rare. He goes on, number two, they must never connive at or encourage wicked people in their practices. Three, they must discountenance and give check to all fraud, violence, injustice, and immorality. And though thereby they may disoblige a particular person, yet they will recommend themselves to the favor of God and man. Let magistrates and ministers and private persons too, that are capable of doing it, rebuke the wicked, that they may bring them to repentance or put them to shame. and they shall have the comfort of it in their own bosoms. To them shall be delight when their consciences witness for them that they have been witnesses for God. And a good blessing shall come upon them, the blessing of God and good men. They shall be deemed religion's patrons and their country's patriots. And fourth, they must always give judgment according to equity. A right answer, that is, give their opinion and pass sentence according to the law and the true merits of the cause. And everyone shall kiss his lips that does so, that is, shall love and honor him and be subject to his orders. For there is a kiss of allegiance as well as of affection. He that in common conversation likewise speaks pertinently and with sincerity recommends himself to his company and is beloved and respected by all. It's interesting that idea of not only allegiance, but affection. You know, we know the scriptures require that we have allegiance to our leaders, so far as it is godly and biblical, and that we're willing to suffer when it isn't. But notice, when the person's really living righteously and speaking righteously and acting like this, there's more than simply allegiance. There's affection. You see, what we're describing is a person who is deliberate, diplomatic, in discipleship. And that's how we especially want to be thinking about it as we would be obeying the Great Commission to make disciples of all nations, that we would have these things in view. Certainly, that we bring the gospel and we talk about the bad news that leads to the good news, that we are willing to speak about sin, but we're concerned to speak just as much about salvation from that sin, which is the whole point. Think before you speak is another phrase that will at least relate to what we're talking about. And speak to bless. Give wise, edifying testimony and wise, edifying advice. And know the similarities of our text with Proverbs 28, verse 23. Turn there with me, please. Let's look at the similarity to flesh it out a bit. Proverbs 28, verse 23. He that rebuketh a man afterwards shall find more favor than he that flattereth with the tongue. Why? Because we're really helping somebody when we can help them take an honest look at themselves and an honest look at their situation so they can do something that is dealing with reality to improve their situation and themselves. So maybe it takes a while for some to come back and be thankful, but the wise people who sincerely are looking for advice and help, they're going to say, thank you for rebuking me. You know, the Psalm says, I will receive that as a blessing, because they're actually concerned to help me. The flattery with the tongue, not so much, because it actually isn't intended to help us at all. People flatter not to bless the person they're flattering, but to take and get from the person they're flattering. And ultimately, the person loses and suffers loss and doesn't improve their situation or themselves when they're only being flattered because they're not being told truth. Truth is not always negative, but that's a little bit of the aspect here. We're willing to say the truth in love. Now, again, notice how it is different from Proverbs 27, verse 6. Go back to Proverbs 27, verse 6. Scripture that we frequent. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. Well, notice there are kisses here, but it's not the kind of kisses that we want to see. And in fact, this would be the wrong response of the person. Kisses of flattery, again, are only really harmful for someone. But the first part, faithful are the wounds of a friend, a real friend that sticks closer to you than a brother, as Proverbs speak about elsewhere. A real friend that's born for adversity with you, as the Proverbs speak of elsewhere, is someone who's willing to tell you the truth. The truth about your situation, the truth about yourself. And who wants to help you through and tell you the truth about good things and things to build off of and work with. That is the faithful friend. Now it's interesting, it does talk about wounds, because the truth can hurt. And so a faithful friend will want to try to speak the truth in love and minimize the pain as much as possible, but knows that there may need to be some. Just as a doctor will work with a patient and say, this procedure is going to have this effect, it's going to hurt, they prepare you for it, but the whole point is to get to the healing and to preserve the life. And a friend's willing to wound for that. And a friend, again, is also willing to risk that you will wound them in response. Because we don't always respond well to that. We should kiss such a person. Sometimes it takes a little time for us to come around to it. But a real friend is willing to have you smack them in the face if you don't like what you hear at first. And wait for you to say you're sorry, collect yourself and say, no, you're right. Will you please keep talking with me? And that's the kind of person we want to be because in the end, and we're thinking long term, those are the kind of responses that help a person deal with their self and their sins, kiss the son Jesus Christ, and find themselves in heaven with their friends, true friends, who have helped them become, as is spoken of Abraham, a friend of God. Those later in heaven will say, thank you for being a true friend and speaking to me truly like that. I am going to give you a kiss. It's always with the goal of Proverbs 15 verse 1 when we think about our response. It isn't just what we say, but we want to be careful how we say it so that it makes it the easiest to receive. Proverbs 15 verse 1. So often, I know I've said it before and I've seen the heads nod. I think you can relate. How often I wish I remembered this verse before I respond instead of later wishing I had remembered. And now I have more to clean up. There's always a place for repentance on both sides. There's always a place for reconciliation. But all that the Lord would help us have the kind of response we're talking about tonight that would include this aspect of wisdom. Not just what we say, but how we say. A soft answer turneth away wrath. But grievous words stir up anger. Now, there's a place for rebuke. There's a place for harsh words. We see that with the Lord Jesus. We see that with God. We see that with the apostles. There's a place and a time for everything, Ecclesiastes says. But seems to be most of the time, and the kind of thing we're talking about tonight, Proverbs 15, verse one, is wisdom we want to ask God to keep helping us grow in. Because we're seeking to bless. We're seeking to help. So we want to think positively again about what this looks like. Turn with me to Proverbs 31.26. This is a verse I preached a few weeks ago. I referenced again last week. And this is something, again, wisdom is practicing and learning and reviewing. So we'll go there again. We need this because it does relate to that idea of our response. The kind of response, a right response, is what gets a rejoicing response and return of gratitude. Proverbs 31, 26, she, the godly virtuous woman, she openeth her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness. And so we as the church, the body and bride of Christ, we want this said of us, that we open our mouth with wisdom and our tongue with the law of kindness. that we seek to answer in such a way when it does need to speak truth and love, that is a way that shows we're approaching it with wisdom, we're thinking, we're being careful. We might ask more questions first. We pause and it's obvious we're weighing how we're going to say this to try to make it really helpful. And then it's going to be kind. Be kind. is something in the New Testament, something that, again, I think as we see the witness of Christianity in certain places, doesn't seem to have any sense of at all. It only speaks unkindly, which shows it has no wisdom, which shows there's much to be desired in saying it's Christian in the first place. But we, if we want to be responding, like our text tonight, we want to have our mouth open with wisdom and speak the law of kindness. That is, we want to be speaking wisely and kindly. And if we do that, beloved, again, as I've said, we'll change the world. Why? Because people will want to kiss us because it was like, I can't find people who are willing to speak the truth to me. And if I can, I can't find them who are willing to do it. And it's obvious they actually care about me and are trying to help me, rather than cut me down and hurt me and step on my neck. Again, the kind of response we're looking at tonight, Proverbs 24, 26. is careful, conscientious courtesy to bring conviction and conversion. You don't fool around and you don't play the fool or answer a fool according to his folly. So there are times when you do hold back and you don't speak. I appreciate what President Bush said at the funeral of Vice President Cheney recently and describing his way of doing things, his way of speaking. And I'm going to look it up sometime to be able to quote it. This is a very loose paraphrase. But he said, Dick Cheney, and I'm only speaking this in terms of the way he worked. I'm not speaking about positions. I'm just speaking about the way he worked and why people generally enjoyed working with him. He was a man of few words, careful words, measured words. He wasn't one to get excitable and attack. And George Bush said he exhibited what, I forget who he quoted, but someone who said, I encourage you at some times to give yourself the luxury of not saying everything that comes to mind. And I remember thinking to myself, I need to memorize that. And I need to meditate that. so that I can, as we studied last week together, behave myself wisely. Especially in a certain situation, you know I am now, most of the week, Monday through Friday, where they're constantly wanting to get you to talk, even when you express you don't want to. And they're looking to get you to say things that they frankly will use against you. And so there's a place for not speaking. There's a wisdom in knowing when to wait. Again, Ecclesiastes. And again, this comes with thinking and careful and reading the room and thinking about these things and giving ourselves constantly to the word of God and asking God to help us live it. So that we can ultimately have this response of Colossians 4.6. Before I read that again, I remind you our text, Proverbs 24 verse 26. Every man shall kiss his lips that giveth a right answer. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. Before totally dismissing receiving a rejoicing kiss, I imagine some of you are wondering if we can just sort of bypass that part of the verse. Let me encourage you to consider this. Five times in the New Testament, five times, Paul says, Paul instructs, greet each other with a holy kiss. Now I'm not going there much further other than to say I agree with John Murray's understanding of that, and it's either in his writings or in his principles of conduct, which we have in our library if you're interested to read it. I'm holding a bit from getting into it too much, though someday I'm thinking I wouldn't mind preaching on that. But it is the culture of scriptures. I mean, we see it with David and Jonathan, and they're warriors, and yet they weep, and they kiss one another. This is the culture of Scripture. I know it's not the culture of Western society, but it is the culture of Scripture. So it's just something that is said without really expression or any kind of explanation, it's just considered a given. Just as much it is that the men are wearing beards, which by the way is related sometimes, such as in Isaiah with Isaiah speaking of prophecy of Christ, the grabbing of the beard to give the kiss. You can see it with Joab and Abner, I believe. It's just like there, it's not even something that's explained. So at least I want to push that a little bit. But the purpose of this message tonight is not to be so worried about whether or not someone's going to kiss you. It could be a hug. Everybody's different. Maybe it's a strong handshake. Whatever it is, I do want to, a little bit, nurture that sense of expression of affection that is largely lost on the Western Church, though it should not be. More importantly, though, the hope is that people would want to kiss us or express in some way affectionately, thank you. You know, it's the kind of thing where you let your guard down, you just want to say thank you, give me a hug, maybe there's tears, right? That's the effect we want to have on people's lives. We've actually touched them. We've actually reached them and served them and blessed them deeply in a way that most are not willing to go there. They're not willing to have to think for a few moments about what's best to say or how's the best way to say it. They're not willing to listen to help determine what they could say once they gather more information. But wisdom does, the Bible does, Jesus does, and he calls us to be like him. Thus Christ corrects his host in Luke 7 verse 45. Thou gavest me no kiss. But this woman, since the time I came in, hath not ceased to kiss my feet." Well, we're not talking about a Judas kiss of betrayal, nor flattery. I pray that all of us indeed would so be ready to kiss the feet of Jesus, who gave us the example to wash one another's feet. He does challenge us in everything, including our Stoicism that is not scriptural and our distancing from one another and labeling it with wherever we grew up or whatever our ethnicity is. Rather than I'm a Christian, I am Christ's. But we're talking about simply submission to he who is the truth, with a call to others to do the same. That's what we're talking about. We're just willing to submit ourselves to he who is the truth, calling others to do the same, which includes what you sang tonight in Psalm 2, verse 12. Kiss the son, lest he be angry, and ye perish from the way, when his wrath is kindled but a little. Blessed are all they that put their trust in him. The call of Psalm 2, it starts with, why the nations and all the rulers rage against God's anointed, that is the Messiah, the Lord Jesus Christ. God and the Messiah laughs from heaven as if, and today I have begotten thee, thou art my only son. And then towards the end, hey you kings, you judges of the world, be wise. You've got two options. You can be those who kiss Jesus, thankful for speaking the truth to you, or who rage against Him and rebel against His authority as King of kings and Lord of lords. Those are your two options. But if you're willing to humble yourself and submit yourself to God and receive the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior, you'll want to kiss Him for speaking the truth to you. That God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believeth in him would not perish, but have everlasting life. But again, towards the end of John 3, but whoever will not submit to the Son remains under God's wrath, remains under the curse. That is not a message much of the world wants to hear today. And you and I can be afraid to give it. Question could be, why does God let bad things happen to good people? A appropriate response in a careful way could be, help me understand what do you mean by good people? A question rather could be asked, why does God let anything good happen to bad people? Because the Bible says, Jesus says, the wages of sin is death. But the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. The Bible says, all have sinned and come short of the glory of God, being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus. Are we waiting and praying for such opportunities to be asked? And are we ready to give an answer? the hope that lies within us with gentleness and respect? Are we studying to show ourselves approved and studying humanity and studying the moment and asking God, praying, please give me the words to say? Are we willing to say the truth in love? Most aren't. But The response of those who are wise, including kings addressed in Psalm 2, who do believe and respond and kiss the sun in faith and have eternal life, will say this of the church and of the gospel and of God's witnesses and Christians and of the pulpit, especially Romans 10 verse 15, speaking of preaching. Quoting Isaiah 52 7 and Nahum 1 15, how beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace and bring glad tidings of good things. But those good tidings, that peace with God can only be had if we're willing to share the bad news that we're born in sin and we need to be redeemed. We need to be clean. We have to come to Jesus for that to be the case. Sometimes some do respond in excited gratitude. Thank you for being straight with me. That's exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for caring about me enough to tell me the truth. And sometimes they'll say, I could just kiss you, right? And that's kind of the idea tonight. Whether they do or don't. That's essentially the effect that you and I should wish to have on other people. Thank you, I could just kiss you. Especially fellow Christians. Receiving honor for being honorable and honoring them and honor our father. Because your mouth offers wisdom and kindness. Beloved, let your testimony for Christ have wise responses that kindle grateful kisses. That is the message for you this evening from our text, Proverbs 24, verse 26. Every man shall kiss his lips that giveth a right answer. Maybe you want to ask, turn and have him on his cheek. Maybe you want it to be a hug for starters. But you get the idea, beloved. The message for you this evening, have wise responses that kindle grateful kisses. And the best message you can give, giving it the right way with wisdom in its context, is to bring people to Jesus, that they would kiss him, that they would trust him, and not perish but have everlasting life with God in him. Have wise responses that kindle grateful kisses because it is the Lord Jesus Christ who has just spoken to you through his earthen vessel by his holy word and his holy spirit. I pray that you will respond kissing him for speaking the truth and love to you, speaking of himself, speaking of eternal life. And then in return, you would bring the same to others. Let us pray. Lord God in heaven, we pray that you would grow our love for you and our love for neighbor and our love for our brethren and that you would help us to be wise with the words of our mouth and kindness on our tongue, that we would know when to speak and when to refrain from speaking, that we would know what to say and how to say it and have wisdom to study your word and study people and study the room and care to spend the time to study. that we can speak wisely, that we can be a blessing, that we can give a right answer when called upon for testimony or for advice, and that those who are sincerely seeking truth will be so blessed they will affectionately thank us. And we pray indeed that it will ultimately be that they are kissing the Son, Jesus Christ. In whose name we pray, all your people sing. Amen. And if you prefer to send your support through the mail, please make your check out to Puritan Reformed Presbyterian Church and send it to Puritan Reformed Presbyterian Church, 6374 Potomac Street, San Diego, California 92139. Thank you.