Welcome to the Hackberry House of Chosun. My name is Bob. I'm reading today from the Life and Diary of David Brainerd. This will be our 35th out of 36 readings of this book. Yes, the book is about over. The hourglass of his life is running very low as we begin with Jonathan Edwards' words. He's the one who put this whole volume together after the death of David Brainerd, and so he enters in quite a bit. to the story, but more and more as the story goes on because our friend Mr. Brainerd is getting a little too weak to be talking with any regularity. Here's Jonathan Edwards. Though he had not the least expectation of recovery, yea, the nearer death advanced and the more the symptoms of its approach increased, still the more did his mind seem to be taken up with this subject of the things of God. He told me when near his end, that he never in all his life had his mind so led forth in desires and earnest prayers for the flourishing of Christ's kingdom on earth, as since he was brought so exceeding low at Boston. He seemed much to wonder that there appeared no more of a disposition in ministers and people to pray for the flourishing of religion through the world, that so little a part of their prayers was generally taken up about it, in their families and elsewhere. And particularly, he several times expressed his wonder that there appeared no more forwardness to comply with the proposal lately made in a memorial from a number of ministers in Scotland and sent over into America for united, extraordinary prayer among Christ's ministers and people for the coming of Christ's kingdom. And he sent it as his dying advice to his own congregation. that they should practice agreeably to that proposal. Though he was constantly exceeding weak, yet there appeared in him a continual care well to improve time and fill it up with something that might be profitable, till in some respect for the glory of God or the good of men. Either profitable conversation, or writing letters to absent friends, or noting something in his diary, or looking over his former things, correcting them, preparing them to be left in the hands of others at his death, or giving some directions concerning the future management of his people or employment in secret devotions. He seemed never to be easy, however ill, if he was not doing something for God or for his service. After he came hither, he wrote a preface to a diary of the famous Mr. in those papers before mentioned and lately found, having been much urged to it by those gentlemen in Boston who had the care of the publication, which diary, with his preface, has since been published. In his diary for Lord's Day, August 9, he speaks of longing desires after death, through a sense of the excellency of a state of perfection. In his diary for Lord's Day, August 16, He speaks of his having so much refreshment of soul in the house of God that it seemed also to refresh his body. And this is not only noted in his diary, but was very observable to others. It was very apparent, not only that his mind was exhilarated with inward consolation, but also that his animal spirits and bodily strength seemed to be remarkably restored, as though he had forgot his illness. This was the last time that ever he attended public worship on the Sabbath. On Tuesday morning that week, I being absent on a journey, he prayed with my family, but not without much difficulty or need of bodily strength. This was the last family prayer that ever he made. He had been wont until now frequently to ride out two or three miles, but This week on Thursday was the last time he ever did that. He writes, Lord's Day, August 23, this morning, I was considerably refreshed with the thought, yea, the hope and expectation of the enlargement of Christ's kingdom. And I could not but hope that the time was at hand when Babylon the Great would fall and rise no more. This led me to some spiritual meditations that were very refreshing to me. I was unable to attend public worship either part of the day, but God was pleased to afford me fixedness and satisfaction in divine thoughts. Nothing so refreshes my soul as when I can go to God, yea, to God my exceeding joy. When He is so sensibly to my soul, oh, how unspeakably delightful is this. In the week past, I had various turns of inward refreshing, Though my body was inexpressibly weak, followed continually with fevers, sometimes my soul centered in God as my only portion, and I felt that I should be forever unhappy if He did not reign. I saw the sweetness and happiness of being His subject at His disposal. This made all my difficulties quickly vanish. From this Lord's Day, namely August 23, I was troubled very much with vapoury disorders, and could neither write nor read, and could scarcely live. Although, through mercy, was not so much oppressed with heavy melancholy and gloominess as at many other times, till this week he had been wont to lodge in a room above stairs, but he now grew so weak, says Edwards, that he was no longer able to go upstairs and down. Friday, August 28, was the last time he ever went above stairs. Henceforward, he betook himself to a lower room. On Wednesday, September 2, being the day of our public lecture, he seemed to be refreshed with seeing the neighboring ministers that came hither to the lecture and expressed a great desire once more to go to the house of God on that day. Accordingly, he rode to the meeting and attended divine service while Mr. Woodbridge of Hatfield preached. He signified that he supposed it to be the last time that ever he should attend the public worship, as it proved to be true. Indeed, it was the last time that ever he went out at our gate alive. On the Saturday evening next following, he was unexpectedly visited by his brother, Mr. John Brainerd, who came to see him from New Jersey. He was much refreshed by this unexpected visit, this brother being peculiarly dear to him, and he seemed to rejoice in a devout and solemn manner to see him, and to hear the comfortable tidings he brought concerning the state of his dear congregation of Christian Indians. A circumstance of this visit, of which he was exceedingly glad, was that his brother brought him some of his private writings from New Jersey, and particularly his diary that he had kept for many years past. Lord's Day, September 6, I began to read some of my private writings, he says, which my brother brought me, and was considerably refreshed with what I met with in them. Monday, September 7, I proceeded further in reading my old private writings, found that they had the same effect upon me as before. I could not but rejoice and bless God for what passed long ago, which without writings had been entirely lost. This evening, when I was in great distress of body, my soul longed that God should be glorified. I saw there was no heaven but this. I could not but speak to the bystanders then of the only happiness, namely pleasing God. Oh, that I could forever live to God. The day I trust is at hand, the perfect day, the day of deliverance from all sin. Lord's Day, September 13. I was much refreshed and engaged in meditation and writing and found a heart to act for God. My spirits were refreshed and my soul delighted to do something for God. Well, on the evening following that Lord's Day, his feet began to appear sensibly swelled, which thenceforward swelled more and more, a symptom of his disillusion coming on. The next day his brother John left him, being obliged to return to New Jersey on some business of great importance and necessity, but intending to return again with all possible speed, hoping to see his brother yet once more in the land of the living. Mr. Brainerd having now, with much deliberation, considered of the important affair before mentioned, which was referred to him by the Honorable Commissioners in Boston of the Corporation in London for the Propagation of the Gospel in New England and parts adjacent, the fixing upon and recommending of two persons proper to be employed as missionaries to the Six Nations, the Indian tribes. He about this time wrote a letter recommending two young gentlemen of his acquaintance to those commissioners, namely Mr. Elihu Spencer of East Haddam and Mr. Job Strong of Northampton. The commissioners on the receipt of this letter cheerfully and unanimously agreed to accept of and employ the persons he had recommended. They accordingly have since waited on the commissioners to receive their instructions, and pursuant to these have applied themselves to a preparation for the business of their missions. One of them, Mr. Spencer, has been solemnly ordained to that work by several of the ministers of Boston. In the presence of an ecclesiastical council convened for that purpose, he has now gone forth to the nation of Ancidés, about 170 miles beyond Albany in New York. He also this week, namely on Wednesday, September 16, wrote a letter to a particular gentleman in Boston, one of those charitable persons before mentioned, who appeared so forward to contribute of their substance for promoting Christianity among the Indians, relating to the growth of the Indian school and the need of another schoolmaster or some person to assist the schoolmaster in instructing the Indian children. These gentlemen on the receipt of this letter had a meeting and agreed with great cheerfulness to give 2,001, that's an amount of bills that we don't know the exact value of today, for the support of another schoolmaster, desired the Reverend Mr. Pemberton of New York, who was then at Boston and was also, at their desire, present at their meeting. as soon as possible to procure a suitable person for that service, and also agreed to allow 751, whatever it is, dollars, you know, to defray some special charges that were requisite to encourage the mission to the Six Nations besides the salary allowed, which was also done on some intimations given by Mr. Brainerd. Now let me interject here, this is Bob speaking. If you read through that last section, it sounds like his brother was doing all of this. Now, his brother left, and then Jonathan Edwards refers to David Brainerd as Mr. Brainerd, as though it were the brother, perhaps, but he's talking about David here. David is doing all these things as this dying man. He's actually living out the prayers that he's been praying by getting this gospel out. He's getting men to go to the Indians and doing all he can to propagate the message of Jesus as he dies. Mr. Brainerd spent himself much in writing those letters, being exceeding weak. But it seemed to be much to his satisfaction that he had been enabled to do it, hoping that it was something done for God, which might be for the advancement of Christ's kingdom and glory. In writing the last of these letters, he was obliged to use the hand of another, not being able even to write himself. On the Thursday of this week, it was September 17, was the last time that ever he went out of his lodging room. That day, he was again visited by his brother Israel, who continued with him thenceforward till his death. On that evening, he was taken with something of a diarrhoea, I'm thinking he means diarrhea there, which he looked upon as another sign of his approaching death, whereupon he expressed himself thus, oh, the glorious time is now coming. I have longed to serve God perfectly. Now God will gratify those desires." And from time to time at the several steps and new symptoms of the sensible approach of his dissolving, his dissolution, he keeps calling it here. He was so far from being sunk or damp that he seemed to be animated and made more cheerful as being glad at the appearance of death's approach. He often used the epithet glorious when speaking of the day of his death, calling it that glorious day. And as he saw his dissolution gradually approaching, he talked much about it. And with perfect calmness, he spoke of a future state. He also settled all his affairs, giving directions very particularly and minutely concerning what he would have done in one respect and another after his decease. The nearer death approached, The more desirous he seemed to be of it. He several times spoke of the different kinds of willingness to die, represented it as an ignoble, mean kind to be willing to leave the body only to get rid of pain, or to go to heaven only to get honor and advancement there. Saturday, September 19, near night, while I attempted to walk a little, my thoughts turned thus. How infinitely sweet it is to love God and be all for him, upon which it was suggested to me, you am not an angel, not lively and active, to which my whole soul immediately replied, I as sincerely desire to love and glorify God as any angel in heaven, upon which it was suggested again, but you are filthy, not fit for heaven. Hereupon instantly appeared the blessed robes of Christ's righteousness, which I could not but exalt and triumph in, and I viewed the infinite excellency of God, and my soul even broke with longings that God should be glorified. I thought of dignity in heaven, but instantly the thought returned, I do not go to heaven to get honor, but to give all possible glory and praise to God. Oh, how I long that God should be glorified on earth also. Oh, I was made for eternity, if God might be glorified. Bodily pains I cared not for, I was then in extremity. I never felt easier. I felt willing to glorify God in that state of bodily distress. As long as He pleased, I should continue in it. The grave appeared really sweet, and I longed to lodge my weary bones in it, but oh, that God might be glorified. This was the burden of all my cry. Oh, I knew I should be active as an angel in heaven, and that I should be stripped of my filthy garments. so that there was no objection, but, oh, to love and praise God more, to please Him forever, this my soul panted after, and even now pants for, while I write, oh, that God might be glorified in the whole earth. Let thy kingdom come, Lord. I longed for a spirit of preaching to descend and rest on ministers, that they might address the consciences of men with closeness and power. I saw God had the residue of the spirit, and my soul longed it should be poured from on high. I could not but plead with God for my dear congregation that he would preserve it and not suffer his great name to lose its glory in that work, my soul still longing that God might be glorified. The extraordinary frame he was in that evening could not be hid. His mouth spake out of the abundance of his heart. expressing in a very affecting manner much the same things as are written in his diary and among very many other extraordinary expressions, which he then uttered were such as these. He said, my heaven is to please God and glorify him and to give all to him and to be wholly devoted to his glory. That is the heaven I long for. That is my religion. That is my happiness. It always was, ever since I suppose I had any true religion. And all those that are of that religion shall meet me in heaven. I do not go to heaven to be advanced, but to give honor to God. It is no matter where I shall be stationed in heaven, whether I have a high or low seat there, but to love and please and glorify God is all. Had I a thousand souls, if they were worth anything, I would give them all to God. But I have nothing to give when all is done. It's impossible for any rational creature to be happy without acting all for God. God himself could not make him happy any other way. I long to be in heaven, praising and glorifying God with the holy angels. All my desire is to glorify God. My heart goes out to the burying place. It seems to be a desirable place, but all to glorify God. That is it. That is above all. It is a great comfort to me to think that I have done little for God in the world, oh, it is but a very small matter. Yet I have done a little, and I lament it that I have not done more. There is nothing in the world worth living for but doing good and finishing God's work, doing the work that Christ did. I see nothing else in the world that can yield any satisfaction besides living to God, pleasing Him, doing His whole will. My greatest joy and comfort has been to do something for promoting the interest of religion, the souls of particular persons. And now in my illness, while I am full of pain and distress from day to day, all the comfort I have is in being able to do some little piece of work for God, either by something that I say, or by writing, or some other way, and so on. He intermingled with these and other like expressions. Many pathetical counsels to those who were about him, particularly to my children and servants. He applied himself to some of my younger children at this time, calling them to him and speaking to them one by one, setting before them in a very plain manner the nature and essence of true piety and its great importance and necessity, earnestly warning them not to rest in anything short of a true and thorough change of heart and a life devoted to God. He counseled them not to be slack in the great business of religion, nor in the least to delay it, enforcing his counsels with this, that his words were the words of a dying man. Said he, I shall die here, and here I shall be buried, and here you will see my grave. And do you remember what I have said to you? I'm going into eternity, and it is sweet to me to think of eternity. The endlessness of it makes it sweet. But oh, what shall I say to the eternity of the wicked? I cannot mention it nor think of it. The thought is too dreadful. When you see my grave, then remember what I said to you while I was alive. Then think with yourself how the man who lies in that grave counseled and warned me to prepare for death. His body seemed to be marvelously strengthened through the inward vigor and refreshment of his mind. so that although before he was so weak that he could hardly utter a sentence, now he continued his most affecting and profitable discourse to us for more than an hour with scarce any intermission. And he said of it when he was done, it was the last sermon that ever he should preach. This extraordinary frame of mind continued the next day, of which he says in his diary as follows, Lord's Day, September 20. was still in a sweet and comfortable frame, and was again melted with desires that God might be glorified, and with longings to love and live to Him, longed for the influences of the Divine Spirit to descend on ministers in a special manner. And oh, I longed to be with God, to behold His glory, to bow in His presence. It appears by what is noted in his diary, both of this day and the evening preceding, that his mind at this time was much impressed with a sense of the importance of the work of the ministry and the need of the grace of God and his special spiritual assistance in this work. It also appeared in what he expressed in conversation, particularly in his discourse to his brother Israel, who was then a member of Yale College at New Haven, prosecuting his studies for the work of the ministry. He now, and from time to time, in this his dying state, recommended to his brother a life of self-denial, of weanedness from the world and devotedness to God, and an earnest endeavor to obtain much of the grace of God's Spirit and God's gracious influences on his heart, representing the great need which ministers stand in of them and the unspeakable benefit of them from his own experiences. Among many other expressions he said this, When ministers feel these special, gracious influences on their hearts, it wonderfully assists them to come at the consciences of men, and as it were, to handle them. Whereas without them, whatever reason and oratory we make use of, we too but make use of stumps instead of hands. Whoa, that's it for this time. We got one more time with our brother. May God give us grace to follow this man. Every time I get a breakthrough in the Lord, and I get so happy, and there have been some lately. Then I read David, and I realize I've got such a long way to go. There's always people way ahead of us. Keep looking, folks. Don't look behind. Keep looking ahead. You'll see people to lead you on to that place where he went. so many years ago. This is the Hackberry House of Chosun. Lord willing, we will talk soon. Bye-bye.