I was noting as we talked that most, a lot of ministers, they say, well, upon what is my assurance to be based? Pastor, I need assurance. I'm having doubts. Your assurance is based on the promises of God. God's promises are yay and amen. You can trust them. Well, I'm sorry, that's not sufficient for the person who's worried about it. We'll say, you mean, so his promises are in question? No, his question, the guy who's doubting, his question isn't, does he keep his promises? His question is, do they apply to me? So telling you that his promises are always true isn't helpful if he's worried if they apply to him. That's his issue. And I'm saying, if we know that the Lord reached down and convicted us of our sins and we can remember that and spoke to us and we couldn't help but to receive Christ as our Savior. If we can remember how we were before then and how we are now and imperfect as we may be. We have new priorities. We have new desires. We actually do long for him. And when we do sin and we don't do what he wants us to do, it's more of an aberration, but we're embarrassed by it. Yeah, we may do it, but we're embarrassed by it. We don't want that. And we're totally different, new creatures in Christ. Experimental salvation. And so I made the statement last week that Christians of necessity, Must love the Lord, the God with all their hearts and all their souls and all their might or their minds. And I said, that's a necessity. And I said, yes, it is a necessity. No matter. People say it's not necessary for salvation. It's a necessity for Christians. It's a necessity for Christians because I said last week, because number one, we're committed to love the Lord that way. If he commands us the way we internalize that commandment with the Spirit of God living in us, it's necessary that we do that. Why? Because he says so. For us, then, that's obligatory. Now, whether we agree it's obligatory, it is even for the wicked, but they don't care. That's the difference between the believer and the world. So number one, it's a necessity that we love the Lord that way because he's commanded us to love him that way. And number two, we mentioned it's a necessity that we love him that way because it is fundamentally necessary if our works of service on God's behalf and on the Lord's behalf are to be successful, and to be acceptable to him. They need to be done out of love and honor for our Lord and God. It's just who we are. That's the motivating factor because he dwells within. And it's necessary that we love him with all of our hearts because that's the byproduct of genuine salvation. And that's what J.C. Philpott was getting at. It's a life-changing reality when God comes and dwells in you. And now you're the tabernacle of God. We don't have to wonder who can dwell on the tabernacle of God when he's made us his tabernacle. And we're aware of that, you see. So I wanted to illustrate for you that kind of dynamic, powerful reality that J.C. Philpott was referring to and that Jesus was referring to in Matthew 22, which we looked at last week and he said that the greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart. There's your highest obligation and that was Calvin's view of the whole of life. Our highest obligation is to bring glory and honor to God. Well that can only come from a heart that is thirsty and hungry after God because he loves the Lord that way. That's why he does that. You just don't do it like, okay, I'm going to make it my job to glorify God. Now, what am I going to do? I mean, it doesn't work that way. It's the natural outpouring of a heart that has been changed by God's grace. I want to just, for a moment, look at a quick example of this kind of salvation that is built on a zeal for the things of God and the love for God. Go to Psalm 69. Psalm 69. And this is a Psalm of David. And we start at the first verse. David says, Save me, O God, for the waters are come in unto my soul. The metaphor is if his soul is in a state of emergency. It's being flooded, but it's being flooded not in the sense of flooded with the good things of God and my heart overflows, flooded in the sense of being overwhelmed by my troubles. I sink in deep mire, he says, where there is no standing, which means he's got no sure footing. It feels like he's drowning. He's in quicksand. I am come into deep waters where the floods overflow me. And we're also talking this afternoon about drowning. For some reason, we're talking about these things. I only picked out this psalm. I even forgot I was gonna stop my sermon this way. I come into deep waters where the floods overflow me. Overwhelmingly overpower him and even though he might know how to swim When the waters are raging because we were talking about well if you don't know how to swim and then you find out you can't touch bottom oh There's a real panic that sets in I was Telling Chuck it's a scary thing to save a drowning person who doesn't know how to swim Because they become superhuman, but they still can't stay above water. They're just gonna bring you down and You got your hands full if you're gonna mess with that. But I'm saying that even if you know how to swim, well, you're pretty confident, yeah, but how about when the water is rushing like a river that's overflowing and there's a power and a force behind it and a pressure that is utterly irresistible. You're as desperate as the guy who can't swim an inch in calm water. That's David. I am weary of my crying. My throat is dried. Mine eyes fail while I wait for my God. David has trouble. Now look at this. They that hate me without a cause. They don't hate him because he had done something wrong. They hate him unrighteously. They hate him without a cause. And are more than the hairs of mine head. So wait a minute, a man like David, the sweet Psalmist of Israel, had that many enemies? Apparently so, at least at this juncture. His enemies are more than the hairs of my head, he says. They that would destroy me. being mine enemies wrongfully are mighty. In other words, my enemies are strong. Then I restored that which I took not away. O God, thou knowest my foolishness, and my sins are not hid from thee. Notice how that enters into the middle. When you're drowning, your sins might pass before you. And you cry out all the more desperately. But I must say, Probably all the more sincerely too. Pastor Guggini would say to me privately, maybe he wouldn't be happy me saying this publicly, but I think I've said it to you publicly before. He says, you know when someone needs to be healed and they come, would you anoint with oil to see if the Lord would heal? He says, you know, Brother Jim, it's good when they're desperate and they come to you. He says it like it's all joyful. He goes, I say, yeah? He says, yeah. He says, when they're desperate, he says, they mean business with the Lord. He's like, I get his point. It's a rough way to make it, but I get the point. He's right. So when you're sinking, all of a sudden your sins flash before you. You're not so great as maybe you thought you were before the riverbanks overflowed. Life gets real quick. Now verse 7, now watch this. So he's in a desperate state. He's sinking, he's drowning. Or verse six, let not them that wait on thee, O Lord, God of hosts, be ashamed for my sake. Let not those that seek thee be confounded for my sake, O God of Israel. Those that seek after you like I do, if they see me drowning and it looks like you're not helping, oh, don't let them be confounded by seeing this misery come upon me. Lord, do something for me, but do something for them. I'm afraid of how they will perceive all this. Now why is all this happening? Now look what David says. Because for thy sake I have borne reproach. So why does he have all these enemies that are doing these nasty things? For God's sake. Shame hath covered my face. I am become a stranger unto my brethren and an alien unto my mother's children." Oh, it's come into the home in the most intimate of relations. They oppose you because you want to be faithful to the Lord. And why is all this happening? Well, we already We're told, for thy sake, in verse seven. But he lays it out plainly why this is happening to him in verse nine. For the zeal of thine house hath eaten me up. And the reproaches of them that reproach thee, Lord, are fallen upon me. He doesn't say it here, but if I can add a thought for David. It's an honor to be hated. by the same people that hate our Lord. Not that we desire hatred. But if anybody has to hate you, those would be the people that you would hope would be the ones. When I wept and chastened my soul with fasting, That was to my reproach. I made sackcloth. Now see, he's been zealous for the house of the Lord. For his sake, he's being persecuted. I made sackcloth, also my garment, and became a proverb to them. They that sit in the gate speak against me. And I was the song of the drunkards. Oh, King David. Yeah, big king David. David was hated and despised. He had many enemies, many who wanted to destroy him. David became the butt of jokes and sarcastic sneers, and he was mocked by sinners. Why? because he loved the Lord zealously. He had a zeal for the house of the Lord. For the Lord's sake, he suffered these indignities. Yet David lived for God. He fought for God. He believed God. He trusted God. He worshipped God with all of his might. At the very pinnacle of when he worshipped the Lord with all of his might, when they brought the ark back in, there's Michael. Oh, there's David. Oh, I suppose he's happy for all the women see him disrobe. Now, David wasn't naked. But he took off those vata garments. I think he was dancing like a madman. He was really happy, you know. It isn't the sensual dancing of modern days. This was the expression of sheer exaltation. And so his enemies found reason to insult him and mock him even then. Now, he talks about all these enemies. Where did this opposition come from? The children of Israel, the nation of God, his own church brethren. Read it. That's who's doing it. Not the Hittites. Not the Philistines. Oh yeah, they may have a bullseye on them too. That's not who he's talking about. That's not the one that hurts. He kind of expects that. You know how many ministers find this out? Pretty quick. Particularly if they do their job. And if they do their job and they have a democracy, they're going to find it out real fast. This opposition came from David's church. Why? Because he was zealous for the Lord. You're going too fast. You're going too hard. You're requiring of us too much faith. Who do you think you are? What, are you holier than thou? So what are we, chopped liver? You know, I'll go over here and they won't make me do that. You know, at least Aaron will make a calf, but Moses is just so stern. There's all sorts of ways you can metaphorically present this. So David speaks to anyone in the ministry today, even compromises in the ministry. We'll find this out. Because if you give them an inch, they'll take a foot. If you've given them three yards, guess what? Your congregation is going to want 10 yards. Moral of the story, don't give an inch. But you better know what you're doing. It better be the truth. So I see within David, right within this psalm, that experimental faith. He was boldly going forth where it's the hardest when the opposition would be of his own kindred, even within his own family. A sword will come into the home if you mean business with me, the Lord says. David meant business and he had lots of trouble for meaning business. and it did not deter him. You know, David's weakness and his falling into sin didn't have anything to do with trusting God, did it? It was the lust of his flesh. When it comes to trusting his Lord and throwing himself on the providence of God and humbling himself before his authority, David has a pretty sterling record and a pretty amazing and shocking record. Oh, David committed these two horrible sins. Yeah, they're pretty horrible. But they weren't based on his lack of trusting the Lord. He was willing to go where the Lord would tell him to go. He just took his eye off the ball for a moment. He got himself in some pretty serious trouble that would carry through the rest of his life in his home. That's why David remained a great man. You see, it was his flesh that got him. We shouldn't be surprised by that. That's not to make an excuse to make light of it, but David's a man who could write the Psalms before and after Bathsheba and Uriah. Writing Psalms before and after, not during, I'm sure his his pen of inspiration dried up before he confessed to Nathan the prophet or Nathan exposed him. Once he was exposed and he repented then some Psalms are going to come out of David's pen. So I see David is just a tremendous example of the zeal of God's people, that experimental salvation that J.C. Philpott is talking about and that the Bible talks about. So we wanted to look at John Calvin. We saw last time that John Calvin, he received the gospel, he had to leave France. Because he wrote the Institutes, the word began to be spread. It was Calvin. It began to be known. He wrote it anonymously. He didn't want to take credit. He didn't want people looking at him. He just wanted to help God's people in the Reformation. And so he wrote this detailed work. And then people got to talking. And then he's fleeing France. And he goes into an inn, and William Farrell's there, and they said, hey, William Farrell, the man who wrote the Institutes is here. He's in an inn now. We hear he's going to be leaving tomorrow. What? And so Pharoah gets down there and then Pharoah says, you must stay. There's a reformed church that has just been established. I can't organize that. I don't have the wherewithal and the insight. I need someone with your broad shoulders that can help in this work. The Reformation is being established here. Now you come and help. And he says, well, I can't do that. The Lord has called me to be a theologian. He's called me to be a thinker and to write down the principles of the Reformation so that those that have to fight those practical fights could have something they can sink their teeth into and a foundation upon which to drive themselves and to sort of collate it all together, which is all, I think, probably good and true. But Pharaoh says, what? Oh, God, this is my Jim Gallagher paraphrase. But Pharaoh says, what? See, you're going to go and write books and you're going to go and think? There's an assembly that needs you right here that's desperate. God's work is breaking out right here. You come along, and you've got all the credentials to help us, and you're gonna turn us down so you can go hide in a corner and write books? Then if that's the case, and he gave, he funded forth that imprecation on John Calvin, then may the Lord will curse your studies. They will not be profitable. Because the Lord has laid a ministry right in front of you. And John Calvin, who loved the retirement, in the shade, and was more shy and timid, an intellectual, slender-billed kind of man that did not have a forceful personality per se, not in the gregarious, you know, typical alpha male style. But he was deadly zealous and serious about serving the Lord and it was like a knife that cut his heart. He instantly said, the Lord has sent this man to rebuke me in my folly that I would stay here. He instantly changed the course of his life and started to do something he never wanted to do. I mean that instant ability to change, where do you see that? You gotta woo. You gotta stroke the ego. You gotta build them up. You gotta carry them on a soft feather pillow to get them, not Calvin. He was being asked to do something that was outside, way outside his comfort zone. But when he felt, no, this was the Lord commanding me. When David said, perhaps the Lord sent Shimei to humble me, let him speak. And Calvin says, all right, I'm here. What do I do? And I think that's an amazing thing when you read that history. And then we looked at that letter. Let me get it here. Yeah, that letter that was written by Calvin to Luther. And if you remember, his countrymen in France Said, you know what? We're seeing reformed truth. We're seeing the sovereignty of God. We're seeing that justification is by God's grace through faith, not by worshiping Mary or partaking of the mass or worshiping relics or whatever they got. All these things, these get busy and do religious things and then you'll get credits. You'll get brownie points off of purgatory or whatever they're doing, selling indulgences for money. All these things. as they watch many of these corrupt priests at that time commit acts of debauchery and evil, the likes of which some of them could only imagine, and they're the religious leaders. So these people in France said, these Protestants, they're speaking the truth and they're willing to die for it. We stand with men like Luther and Calvin. Then Calvin finds out, but they won't separate from the Church of Rome. He finds out, and if they stay, they won't confess their belief to try and change the church. Instead, they don't mention anything because you've got to get along to fight another day. And they felt that that was proper to do because Nicodemus came to Jesus by night. Remember, that was part of their argument. He came by night, but back at the end of the day, he went with the Pharisees and played like everything's cool. Well, was that put in the scripture to be something that was supposed to mimic. Is that the purpose of the story of Nicodemus? No, it is not, because Nicodemus needed to be born again. You don't want to be using him as a model. He's seeking. I'm sorry, that's not enough. So no, that's not the point, isn't now going to likewise, but they were misusing the story of Nicodemus. And so John Calvin Says to the people, no, you've got to separate. You've got to either flee or stay and stand your ground and declare your faith. John, brother John, we can't do that. You're asking too much. Not everybody's built like you. You go to the stream. We can't necessarily do all that. We've got to be reasonable. Look, we can deal with these people. You're too hard, John. But Martin Luther and Philip Melanchthon, now we think they have a more sensible disposition. You go and get the opinion of Martin Luther about this matter. We'll hear what he has to say. John Calvin says, all right, let's do it. And rather than, of course, a long journey, he says, I'll write him a letter. And so he wrote a letter and he tucked it in with a letter he sent to Melanchthon and said, Philip Melanchthon, If you think it's prudent to give this letter to Martin Luther, by all means do it. We would like his advice. We need his counsel. But if for some reason you think it wouldn't be prudent to give him this letter, I hear rumors that he can be somewhat hot-headed, and I don't want some rift to come between the Reformation here and with him, so use your judgment. But if you think you can have it, give it to him. I'll leave it up to you." So here's the letter that he wrote to Martin Luther. Now, I read it last week, I know. I'm just going to read a couple excerpts. Here's the letter. that he gave to Melanchthon to give to Luther, but Melanchthon never gave it to Luther because he felt, hmm, I don't think I should. So Luther never knew that John Calvin wrote him this letter. To the very excellent pastor of the Christian church, Dr. M. Luther, my much respected father, when I saw that my French fellow countrymen as many of them as had been brought out from the darkness of the papacy to soundness of the faith, had altered nothing as to their public profession, and that they continued to defile themselves with the sacrilegious worship of the papists as if they had never tasted the savor of true doctrine. I was altogether unable to restrain myself from reproving so great sloth and negligence in the way I thought it deserved." In other words, I let him have it for their milquetoast compromise, and I couldn't see any other way. But I'd like to know what you think about the matter. See, that's his letter. He says, what kind of religion can that be? See, it doesn't compute with Calvin. What kind of religion can that be which lies submerged under seeming idolatry? I do not undertake to handle the argument here because I have done so at large already in two little tractates. So I wrote a couple of tracts. I've included them in this letter. I explained my position on this. Please read them, or if it's too much time consuming for you, have someone you respect read them and summarize it for you, and then you write back to us and tell us what you think they should do, because they think I'm asking too much of them. We're looking for your opinion. I got to read the end of the letter too, which I know I've read to you, but he says, he says, I am unwilling to give you this trouble in the midst of so many weighty and various employments, but such is your sense of justice that you cannot suppose me to have done this unless compelled by the necessity of the case. I therefore trust that you will pardon me. You know, there's such a great prudence in this letter. To me, it's very admirable. Would that I could fly to you, that I might even for a few hours enjoy the happiness of your society. For I would prefer, and it would be far better, not only upon this question, but also about others, to converse personally with yourself. But seeing that is not granted to us on earth, I hope that shortly it will come to pass in the kingdom of God. I do most redound, sir, most distinguished minister of Christ and my ever honored father, the Lord himself rule and direct you by his own spirit, that you may persevere even unto the end for the common benefit and good of his own church. He sends it yours, John Calvin. And I see within this letter, it's so obvious to see, The zeal that Calvin had for the gospel and for the purity of that truth. And here are these people that have received the truth and they don't want to stand up to those who fight against the truth and despise the truth and say, hey, wait a minute, you're wrong. This is the truth. This is what we believe. They won't do it. And if they won't do that, then at least flee France like he did. Flee, leave house and home and family and friends and employment, go into the great unknown, become a vagabond, but get out of Babylon. They won't do that either. They just stand there and pretend that nothing's changed inside. And Calvin's saying, and if something has, how could they hide it? And if it really is inside, Doesn't it have to burst forth in their expression of faith? Don't they have to say it? What do you think, Dr. Luther? Well, that's obviously what Calvin thought. He's talking a salvation that makes perfect sense to me. It's the ones we see in the New Testament too. There is, I got to say, there's more than one way to see this in John Calvin. Let me put this aside. I don't think I need that. Calvin's zeal for separation, because that's what that is, his zeal for separation on the part of his fellow Frenchmen who had privately confessed the gospel the gospel of the reformation, the gospel of the scripture, that he would be so zealous for that cause and expect all believers to do that, shouldn't surprise us. It shouldn't surprise us because when you consider his own description of his own personal conversion, John Calvin's, you know what, you see it there too. It's right there, right from the beginning. I'm gonna read it for you. This again is in the introduction to his commentary on the Psalms. And I read to you the exchange between him and Pharaoh in this introduction. Well, a page before or a page after, whichever it is, he gives the story of his own conversion. I'd like to read it for you. Yeah, okay. Yeah. So this is what he writes. Now I'm jumping in the middle. He writes, when I was as yet a very little boy, my father had deftened me for the study of theology. But afterwards, when he considered that the legal profession commonly raised those who followed it to wealth, this prospect induced him suddenly to change his purpose. In other words, dad said, you be a minister, you be a theologian, and you know, I'll have a son doing honorable work. And as his father thought about it, now he's already off in university taking classes, philosophy, theology. He's in the middle of it, and his father says, you know, his father was a lawyer, but he got to thinking, you know, I'm so well off because of what I do. And think of some of my lawyer friends, we're making lots of money. So he tells, son, I changed my mind. Change the course of the direction of your life, as I already told you to plot it that way, and go into legal profession, you'll make more money. Okay, so that's what's going on. To this pursuit, Mr. Calvin says, to this pursuit, I endeavored faithfully to apply myself in obedience to the will of my father, his earthly father. You know, I've got to stop there. That's not really the main point I want to say here. But you know, John Calvin is not a little child anymore. Now, he started going to university when he was 14. But back in those days, 14 was not like 14 now. And 14 for Calvin is certainly not like 14 now. But they went to university early in those days. The learning process was a quicker process because they meant business and the society did. But his father tells him in midstream of studying theology and philosophy, become a lawyer instead. So immediately, he changes his coursework to obey his father which is nice to hear, you see. It doesn't mean his father's right, but that's what he did. He said, but God, by the secret guidance of his providence at length, gave a different direction to my cause. So he started off to do exactly what his father said, and he began to pursue that. But over the course of time, providence would change Calvin's cause back to theology. Now he's going to give us some details of that in a moment, but he continues. In first, since I was too obstinately devoted to the superstitions of potpourri to be easily extricated from so profound an abyss of mire, God, by a sudden conversion, subdued and brought my mind to a teachable frame. Now, you know, I gotta note something there. He's describing his conversion. And he says, I was converted. How did he define conversion? God brought me to a teachable frame. You know, there's an awful lot of Christians that don't have that. They're not of a teachable frame. As long as you teach them that which keeps them in their comfortable, well-attested-to, and very familiar paradigm, then they're willing to be Bereans. Well, that's not really being a Berean. John Calvin described his conversion as God subduing him and bringing his mind into a teachable frame. Now, I've told you this story before, plenty of times, I'm sure. Pastor Cugini said to me one time, he says, Brother Jim, he says, you know what your outstanding quality is? No, I don't know what my outstanding quality is. He goes, what's that? He goes, you can be exhorted. That's how he said it. You can be exhorted. He goes, most of the large people, They won't be exhorted. Because Patsukujini, if he's tutoring you, now, some of you have experienced the, right? And there's the, oh, no, you know? So I got to talk to you. And like, oh, no, here, approach him, right? Well, I know many of us have experienced that. being tutored and trained in the ministry for the purpose of taking his place at Clayville to do that. So let me tell you, I've experienced the, probably more than anybody here in this building. Because you can be sure of this, he took that seriously. And that was always behind closed doors. I always humbled myself before, because I knew Providence had brought me here. Providence and God's sovereignty calls him to say, would you be willing for me to train you for the ministry the way Paul did Timothy? And all my wondering, how is the Lord doing this? In one moment, my whole life, all the stars lined up, like at the beginning of 2001 Space Odyssey. They all lined up. Said, oh, all that worrying about how's the Lord going to do it. He knew what he was doing all the time. I just didn't know. So when I had to go to the woodshed or whatever the issue was, you know, I took it as from the Lord. I'm not boasting. You know why I'm not boasting? Because I feel that most of you here, if you had been in my shoes, had been given the call that I felt the Lord had placed upon me, were given the impossible situations to fulfill that call, and you were waiting on the Lord, and it happened that way to you, which to me was so dramatic. Well, you'd have to be an idiot to not recognize the Lord's hand in it, you know? And then what, like, oh, you make me feel a little uncomfortable. I'm thinking I'm going to throw this whole thing away because I don't like being insulted. How stupid can you be? So look, there's no credit for me here. That's not my point. My point is God knew exactly how to order things to get Jim Gallagher to do the things he needed me to do. I don't get credit for that. I mean, credit goes to the Lord. He knew what he was doing. Well, you see, I say that because John Calvin describes conversion as being brought into a teachable frame of mind. And I really understand, I identify with that. going all the way back to the evangelical church when Paul's dad would preach. And I've said this many times, and he'd just reference Judgment Day, not a sermon on Judgment Day. You know, when I get to that age and it began to bother me, he just referenced it. It was like a dagger that was inserted and twisted. I'm guilty. I'm outside. I don't belong. I'm not right with God. I can't be. Our Lord knows how to bring us into a teachable frame. And after you've had that kind of thing happen, which is how my conversion worked, you know, you get to recognize that old familiar friend of the dagger. It's an instrument of love in the hands of God. You don't fight against it, see. So we ought to be teachable. We should expect. that we need to be taught of God. Well as Calvin described his conversion. He says, by sudden conversion, he subdued and brought my mind to a teachable frame, which was more hardened in such matters than might have been expected from one at my early period of life. In other words, he was so frozen in Roman Catholic doctrine and theology and glory at such a young age. He was more hardened in his Romanism than most people would have been his age, or that was Calvin. But he's saying, the Lord subdued my heart in a sudden conversion. Reminds me of the conversion described by Philip Morrow. He said, I was a lawyer. I argued in front of the Supreme Court. I was at the top of the world. I defeated Thomas Edison in court over patent copyrights. Not copyrights, but the patents of his. And he defeated him. And he had this great accomplishment and this great wealth and this worldly man. And he said, I have a thousand reasons not to believe in God. And I always thought if I was going to be converted, it would take a thousand theologians and a thousand philosophers and a thousand scientists to answer all my multitude of questions, because I'm a well-educated man. I got too many objections to the Bible. It would have taken a mountain of philosophers and theologians to convert me. But then that one day, I went into that little humble church. And I looked at that church in New York City. I walked in just as a thing. I was walking. I didn't want to go to the theater. I changed my mind. I heard some singing. So I walked over to this building. I walked in. It was some kind of church. And these people of a very lowly station. You could tell they were more of an uneducated group, not very sophisticated, and of far more meager means. He said, I felt myself superior to them in every way. When I sat down to hear the singing, and the singing got to him, and the preaching got to him, and the doctrine got to him, and he walked away saying, what's happening? So he went back another day, and he came to know the Lord as his Savior. I believe it was two visits. What happened to all those questions? What happened to all those theologians that were required? He says, I never get all those questions answered. He said, the Lord in one full swath removed all the debris of my books and knowledge and questions and just swiped the table clean. And I was taught by a humble people who I realize in matters spiritual where it counts. They were far richer than I ever was and I knew nothing. I love hearing that conversion experience by Philip Morrill and it's really no different than John Calvin's. There's just a humbling and a yielding by the power of God's grace. He continues, he says, having thus received some taste and knowledge of true godliness, I was immediately inflamed with so intense a desire to make progress therein. He wanted to eat the Bible up that although I did not, that although I did not altogether leave off other studies, Studying the law, I mean studying the law, his father put him back to law. I yet pursued them with less ardor. Now that's not like him, but he's saying, you know, my father sent me philosophy and theology. Then he said, dad says, no, become a lawyer instead, you'll make more money. Okay, dad. And then he starts studying and putting himself into that. But then once he came to Christ, he still wouldn't disobey his father. But his passion was no longer the law. His passion was learning of Christ. He says, I was quite surprised to find that before a year had elapsed, all who had any desire after pure doctrine were continually coming to me to learn. Although I myself was as yet but a mere novice in Tyro. He says, I didn't know that much, but people kept coming to me. Being of a disposition somewhat unpolished and bashful, which led me always to love the shade and retirement. See, that's where I got that phrase. To love the shade and retirement, I then began to seek some secluded corner where I might be withdrawn from the public view. Well, Moses tried that out too, it didn't work. But so far from being able to accomplish the object of my desire, all my retreats so that I could go away and just write and think and pray and write and think and deliver them to people that have to use it. And I'm too shy. I can't do this. I can't speak. See? Being of a disposition somewhat unpolished and bashful and led me always to love the shade in retirement, I then began to seek some secluded corner where I might be withdrawn from the public view. But so far from being able to accomplish the object of my desire, obscurity, all my retreats were like public schools. You know, he said that I wasn't even saved the year. People kept coming to me asking questions. Obviously, God gave something to John Calvin. He was a quick study. And he was extremely zealous. So, you know, all the cylinders are operating here and people are coming to him. My retreats became like public schools. It's the last thing he wanted. He says, in short, whilst my one great object was to live in seclusion without being known. God so led me. about through different turnings and changes that he never permitted me to rest in any place until, in spite of my natural disposition, he brought me forth to public notice." You know, for that to happen, I have great appreciation that that takes a lot. When a person is of that disposition, the Lord has to, you know, There are some people that would rather die than have to speak publicly. And I've heard other ministers say that, and sometimes I think, oh, they're just saying that about themselves. They were that way, too, to make everybody in the congregation feel better, like I was, like you, but actually they were always outgoing. You know, I'll tell you the truth as best I can about myself. Let's say when I was like 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, There was a sense in which I was outgoing. But I was only outgoing with people I knew really well and within the context of personal conversation. I could be quite outgoing that way. I wasn't like a big introvert. But even within those realms of people that I knew very well, if it wasn't just in personal conversation and now became formal, like a Sunday school class, or a time to give a testimony or a service. I never said one thing publicly. that scared the daily dog. If we're standing in the back of the church, I could joke around with you. Hey, do you see that thing on TV? I could say something, and we could, like, see, you know, he likes being, I'll go, well, I know you like I know the back of my hand. And we're having just a little conversation. And as soon as they ask for testimony, does anybody want to give a testimony, I just sink in my seat. I mean, it horrified me. You say, it can't be. I, you know, someone talked to you, you were very, you're not understanding this. Don't you realize it is that way with people sometimes? I've told you many times I was this close to never going to college because I just did not. It really did terrify me to think to take a class in public speaking. John Calvin was somewhat of that sort but he was zealous. The Lord says, I'm going to take what you consider your utter weakness and I'm going to use you that way. I've said the same thing to you. I'm not saying this to boast about myself. I think this is common. I think it's particularly common in the ministry. for those actually called to the Lord. But I think it's common in a lot of our Christian lives just generally. That's what the Lord does. And I said my great weakness was, okay, I believed in making plans. being organized, and achieving those plans. And I've told you, you can ask Paula. When we first got married, we got to save for a house. And she would roll her eyes. I was such a skinflint. I was so stinking cheap. And she's like, well, can't we do it? No, no. We got to put money in the savings account. How are we ever going to buy a house if I don't get some money? We got to put our money. Put the money away. Put the money away. Put the money away. And I was obsessive because I was so afraid of the future. You go to college, you get an entrance level job, then you progress. When you progress a certain degree, now you have value. Then you can outsource your talents to another company, and you go up a couple notches rather than just continuing in that company. And you grow and you build, you get security, you get your retirement, you get everything, and then you relax. When you retire, you get the money coming in. That is how I thought. I thought it was being responsible, and in a sense it is, isn't it? Being responsible, taking care of your own, feeling like you've got to contribute and pull yourself up by your bootstraps, not expect other people to do it. You've got to prepare for it. It takes a little bit of work, and that's how I thought. I thought, okay, go in the ministry, but I've watched some of the things Paul's father went through. I said, the ministry is the greatest thing in the world, and it's the last thing I want to do. I'd love to do it, but there's no way I want to do it. It sounds like contradiction. Believe me, I thought those thoughts when I was 16 years old. I thought, no way. First of all, the speaking part. There's just a fantasy in my part. It wasn't even, I didn't ever consider it. I somehow thought it would be great, but there's no way. I can't do that. I can't speak in front of someone. But then I saw how ministers are treated. And now I don't want to do it. I mean, I'd like to do it if people weren't so horrible. So that's where I was at. I'm telling you raw honesty. There's nothing embellished here. It's just exactly how I saw it. And the Lord, so I'm security oriented, and the Lord says, and I didn't hear an audible voice, well, do I go to Bible school or not? And it was no to Berkshire. No, you're not going to Berkshire. No, you're not going to that place. You're not going to this place. Stay put. pursue a normal life, I'll call you later. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That does not work in my schedule. I mean, that is really risky business. So what are you going to do? Go in the ministry when I'm 40 years old, sell my house, take what little bit of equity I might have, and then throw it into a Bible school? Then I graduate from Bible school, and maybe during the course of my studies, I discover something that might be a little bit of a disagreement with them. So after I spent thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars, they say, you can't work in any of our churches because you don't agree on this one point. The whole thing scared me. And I saw them say, well, there wasn't as many baptisms in church this year as there was last year. And the man stands up and says, I make a motion that we lower the pastor's salary. I heard those things. So this is horrible. Who would want to do this? Well, I'd want to do this, except for having to speak into that. But I don't want to go to the business meeting and have that part of my life. This is the reality of it. And the Lord says, OK, you're all worried about security. You're all worried about the future. Then I'm going to call you in the middle of your life. I'm going to say, Lord, that is the scariest thing in the world. Let's go now. I'll find a Bible school now. Well, I couldn't find one. So I went to Bryant, a business school, a college, a secular school. And when Paula and I got married, I said, Paula, you know, I think the Lord's going to call me in the ministry when we get in the middle of our lives. And you know what, Paula? Shy, retiring, hardly spoken Paula just said to me, yeah, I know. She knew. OK, as long as you know, because it scares me to think about it. So the Lord says, I'll take your weakest point and I'll make you live your life and have your ministry through that. And that's what he did with John Calvin is what I'm saying. Look, I completely get it. Even Moses says, I can't speak, Lord. All right, Moses, you can't speak. I'll give you Aaron. He can be your mouthpiece. I love the testimony of John Calvin. I see the zeal in him. I see his frailties and fears. And I see the Lord call him on it and then have to submit to it. And I say, you know what? That's how the Lord works. Experimental salvation. I want to give you one more example because I'm out of time. No, I can't read this whole thing. It's too much. I have to read the short version. I actually did bring a long version and a short version. The long version had some other things we could expound upon. It gives a broader picture. Let me read the short version. A month before John Calvin died, even in his death, I see this zeal. John Calvin, when he died, wanted to, you know he wanted to be in seclusion and not in the limelight and being retired in some corner, unnoticed, but then he could write for God's people and let them do it, let them take the credit, let them, I can do this, I'm good at that. And John Calvin, even after all those years of ministry, in his death, he wanted to do that. And John Calvin made it plain, when I die, I don't want a gravestone, and I don't want to know where anybody buried me. And John Calvin said, I'm paraphrasing, that men that have achieved great things, particularly for the Lord, ought not to have headstones, because they'll become shrines. Now, did we do what we did for that? No. So when they buried John Calvin, they didn't give him a headstone. And the actual place they buried him, they kept a secret. And there's only opinions on, over there, there is a headstone with John Calvin's name on it. But it's what people many, many, many, many years later have, by putting pieces together and reading letters and stuff, we think he's buried here. So someone put up a gravestone many, many years later. You know, I can understand what people are doing. Well, we got to mock them. You know, I understand that. But John, look at John Calvin. He was going to be in the retirement, even in his death. Now, a month before he died, this is what he said. And he wrote this out. He says, with my whole soul, I embrace the mercy which God has exercised towards me through Jesus Christ, atoning for my sins with the merits of his death and passion, that in this way he might satisfy for all my crimes and faults and blot them from his remembrance. I confess I have failed innumerable times to execute my office properly, and had not he of his boundless goodness assisted me, all that zeal had been fleeting in vain. For all these reasons, I testify and declare that I trust to no other security for my salvation than this, and this only, that as God is the father of mercy, he will show himself such a father to me, who acknowledge myself to be a miserable sinner." So do you see what he's doing? A month before he dies, look, all that I ever became, all that I ever wrote, all that I ever taught, and all that I ever suffered for Christ is to the glory of God because I'm a miserable sinner. It wasn't for him picking me up and carrying me, none of it would have happened. Put me in an unmarked grave. and let the Lord receive the glory. What did I tell you John Calvin said? The purpose of everything that exists is to bring glory to God. And he was doing it in his death. They're not really sure where he was buried to this day. There's only opinion. An interesting thing, and I'll close with this. It was 24 years earlier before he died. He was 30 years old. He was 54 when he died. 24 years before he died, he was writing and imagining what it would be like when he's on his deathbed. For him, it's still the misty future. He's 30 years old, right? So he's writing, and he's saying, so when I'm on my deathbed, My hope is that I will be able to say something like this, and this is what he wrote. The thing, O God, at which I chiefly aimed and for which I most diligently labored was that the glory of your goodness and justice might shine forth conspicuous that the virtue and blessings of your Christ might be fully displayed. That's what he wanted to say in his deathbed, and be able to say honestly. And 30 years later, he probably forgot he ever said that. That's what he said, and that's what was true. Experimental salvation, biblical salvation, changes a person. And they don't need a preacher to give them a milk bottle to drag them along every day. Let's bow our heads in prayer.